Naomi Delacruz, Faggie Waggie

Faggie Waggie by Naomi Delacruz

last month I was on my phone, texting my friends in the group chat . Like eight of us were on the chat, joking around . I was in my pj’s, chilling on my mom’s bed . I felt relaxed . Then, all of a sudden, some dude gets added to the chat .

I was like, sus, who this?

So after he @’s me, I was like, “Don’t @ me, silly . ”

He typed out gay fag . Something like that .

Then I was like, “I don’t mess with you like that . Don’t call me a fag . ”

See, I don’t mind my friends calling me a fag, but if it’s someone I don’t even know, especially someone I don’t like, then no .

I planned on cursing that fool out, talking about his wireless Internet, but I was like, Nah, Naomi. Stay calm . Then I just kicked him out of the group chat .

Then I went a step further and pulled out my magic wand and aimed it at my phone. I said three magic words: “Just be gay.”

With those magic words and the flick of my wrist I would change this boy’s life forever.

My goal is simple: create empathy and get revenge. The spell I cast basically turns a straight person into a gay cockroach. He would later tell me that he immediately fell to the floor and started to wander around trying to understand what was happening. As he moved around he heard people yell and try to stomp on him. Giant shoes, Converse, Jordans, Vans, and Crocs were stomping down on him. He dodged and dug himself into a small hole he found in the closet. In the hole he met another cockroach named Timmy. He and Timmy became instant friends. That’s when he figured out he wasn’t just a cockroach but a GAY COCKROACH.

I figured a whole day would be enough time for him to learn his lesson. After a day, I used my wand again. I said, “Cockroach no more,” and then texted him.

“Hey want to meet up after school?”

He texted back immediately.“YES, PLEASE.”

We ended up talking for hours about how it felt to be dehumanized and stepped on. He said he realized why the word fag feels like you’re being squished into the ground. The lesson he learned was to think before he speaks and always try to put himself in someone else’s shoes to really understand where they come from.