Spring 2020 // Issue 2

LOGOS C I T R U S

Flower Beans Cafe

Satisfy your craving for Crepes near Citrus College.

Page 12

C O L L E G E

ISSUE

2

SPRING 2020 ISSUE 2

C U L T U R E

Red Flags

Final Journey

Cues to look for while experencing a toxic relationship and when to say enough is enough.

The story of one person’s eagarness to reach their final destination.

Page 16

Page 26

+ Much More...

CONTENTS OPINION 6 Quarentined Thoughts 16 Red Flags

20 Forgive Me Not? 22 Not So Savvy

CULTURE 8 This is Our America

LIFE STYLE

12 Flower Beans Cafe 24 Easy Chicken

SHORT STORY 26 Final Journey

2|

LOGOS | SPRING 2020

letter from the editor

ISSUE

2

SPRING 2020 EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Liandra Thibodeaux MANAGING EDITOR Maili Higashiyama STAFF WRITERS Alisha Honeycutt Daniela Navarro Diocelyn Carlon Rita Rivera Hello everyone!

My name is Liandra Thibodeaux and this is my second term as Editor-in-Chief of Logos Magazine. I started off here at Logos in the Fall of 2018, as photo editor, as I am a photography major and found that I was really passionate about what goes into developing our publication. Everything that is published in the magazine is all student-made. Without the students that make up our staff and the diversity of their backgrounds, there would be no magazine.

In the beginning of this semester, we started off strong and confidently while in the news room only to soon find out that we would need to move to working remotely due to the CoronaVirus pandemic. We as a staff and as students were challenged with obtaining the unbiased and accurate content our readers have come to expect from us, despite this we somehow still managed.

This semester, students were subjected to unprecedented circumstances. In a short amount of time, we have experienced a pandemic, talks of a world war, as well as the makings of a civil war. I want to give a big thanks to all of the staff members for being such hard workers and although most are new and have faced many struggles of their own throughout this time, all of them have really shined through the obstacles that have come their way and continued to push forward. I am extremely proud of them for all their hard work. They have made my experience as Editor-in-chief an amazing one.

I want to take a moment to thank Priscilla Medina for contributing to this beautiful magazine. Her background in art here at

CONTRIBUTORS

Citrus has really shined through while in the production of this magazine.

Finally, I want to thank my advisor Amber Durfield. She has provided me with much needed guidance as I adjusted through my transition from on campus to remote production. Her patience, amazing sense of humor and kind words have helped me continue to put my best foot forward even when I struggled to not give up. I can not express enough how truly grateful I am to her, as well as the rest of the staff. With them I have been able to overcome just about everything that was thrown at me.

As the semester comes to an end, I want to congratulate all of the graduates.

You have succeeded in reaching an amazing goal and I wish you all the very best in the next part of your journeys. I also want to remind the students of Citrus College that it’s ok to not be ok. We will all experience tough times and can be really hard on ourselves when it seems like we’re falling behind. Each person’s journey is their own so move at your own pace. Although we must social-distance, please know that you are not alone through all of the strenuous, sometimes mind boggling things that are going on in the world. We are in this together. Take a break when you need it, but don’t give up on yourself. And most importantly treat yourselves and others with kindness and understanding. L

Priscilla Medina ADVISER Amber Durfield Logos is produced by communications students and is distributed once a semester. Views expressed herein do not represent those of the adviser, faculty, administration, Associated Students of Citrus College or the Citrus College Board of Trustees. © 2020 Logos Magazine.

All rights reserved.

Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is strictly prohibited.

contact: Telephone 626.914.8586 Logos Magazine 1000 W. Foothill Blvd VA236 Glendora, CA 91741

Liandra Thibodeaux Editor-in-Chief Liath.cc@gmail.com

Printed By Primo Graphics Inc. 1648 Flower St, Glendale, CA 91201

Cover Image by Liandra Thibodeaux

SPRING 2020 | LOGOS | 3

MEET THE STAFF

Maili Higashiyama Maili Higashiyama is the current managing editor of Logos and is a full-time college student majoring in Communications with a focus in Public Relations and Fundraising Management. She started college at 17 and quickly dropped out when she realized how much work was involved. After a 20 plus year hiatus from higher education, Higashiyama returned to college. Both of Higashiyama’s parents are Citrus College alumni. Higashiyama is also a mom of two children who continually push her to move forward and keep up with them in this ever-changing world, standing beside her she credits her husband who has made all of this possible, without him she would not be able to dedicate as much time and effort into her future. A special thank her to my mom Jackie Higashiyama who has been an example. Fun facts: Virgo Sun, Scorpio ascending, Gemini moon. Loves true crime, mysteries, the occult and most things weird. Has had the same group of best friends for 22 years.

Alisha Honeycutt Alisha Honeycutt is a Lifelong student with an extensive career in Social Service.

She is currently working on a new career chapter in her life through the world of Journalism/Writings and communication. She enjoys motivating and encouraging the younger generation to follow their dreams and goals. She is working towards a certificate in becoming a Life Coach and Motivational Speaker. Her hobbies are talking and laughing with people, traveling and dancing to the 90’s with her son and Godson. This is her first year contributing to the Logos Team.

Daniela Navarro Daniela Navarro is an Art History and Photography Major. She is a motivated student eager to learn, meet new people, and take her photography to the next level.

She plans to continue her education by transferring to a four-year university. Daniela’s journey to college began with an ASL class, her son was not able to communicate verbally due to his medical condition. She credits her son for helping her to gain courage, and appreciates her husband for keeping dinners warm. Outside campus life she occupies her day by keeping clean socks around the house, managing the family calendar, and relaxing under the stars after a day on the go.

4|

LOGOS | SPRING 2020

Diocelyn Carlon Diocelyn Carlon is a part-time student at Citrus College and this is her first semester with Logos. She joined the team with hopes of strengthening her writing skills and exploring a different avenue for self-expression. Carlon is a returning Citrus student after dropping out of the theater program in 2006 and moving to Berkeley, Ca in search of her voice. After returning to Southern California she eventually made her way back to Citrus to earn an associate degree in communications. When she is not working or studying, she enjoys exploring the concept of mysticism as well as learning about the occult. Her guilty pleasures include sugar and old sitcoms. Carlon hopes to use her skills in writing and storytelling to shed light on injustice and provide a mirror for society.

Rita Rivera Rita Rivera started attending Citrus in 2013 at 25 years old. She made the decision to return to school when she found herself a single mother and wanted to better herself and strive for a better future for her and her then 2-year-old daughter. She’s a Business major, but after getting involved on campus through clubs and ICC, has been refocusing on Communication and Public Relations. She is passionate about working with nonprofits that do direct action for communities and in her free time enjoys playing games like PC games and D&D, watching anime and fantasy sci fi shows and finding city events she can take her niece and daughter to.

SPRING 2020 | LOGOS | 5

Opinion

Quarantined Thoughts TEXT BY: DANIELA NAVARRO ART BY: LIANDRA THIBODEAUX

The thoughts of a student during quarantine.

6|

LOGOS | SPRING 2020

OPINION

I’ve forgotten how to take a moment to sit down and be able to unwind from today’s headlines. Life seems to be dragging me around like a tumbleweed rolling in my brain, moving from the logic to the creative side. Left, right, left, right. Not focusing all, but on the verge of losing it. I miss the winter shadows that laid on my rug. Learning to look up at the night sky for at least ten minutes may be an easy task, but somehow I’m not able to grasp it. Am I a lost cause? I feel like I’m falling with Alice deep down in the rabbit hole. I need to wake up from this dream soon. As summer approaches, thoughts about the future begin to take over my body; muscle pain, nausea, do I need to see a physician? I must wake up and continue with the journey because the adventure is still out there waiting for me to grasp it once again. Being a student for so many semesters hasn’t been easy thus far, so why give up now? Who said the journey will be easy?

I’m reminded that although one of my educational goals is to become an excellent writer, I now find that I’m complaining about writing a two page story. “I should have written a novel by now,” I tell myself, often needing to remember to take a deep breath and let go of the negative thoughts. I need to take an opportunity to reflect and not mope around the house in pajamas all day because there are positive things happening around the world. All that’s required is looking at my surroundings and finding something to smile

“Who said the journey will be easy?” about. One might be the fact that people have come together globally to fight for a common goal: against the injustice of police brutality. Most importantly is an achievement close to home, my son is starting his next chapter of life, high school.

I feel that it’s selfish of me to turn around and ignore harder situations. As a college student I shouldn’t choose to remain ignorant as if I don’t care about what happens to the rest of us. I do care but with all of the things going on in the world, it’s overwhelming.

From talks of World War 3 to the Coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic and riots, it’s all so much to take in at once.

I’m learning things slowly day by day. Keeping in touch with family has certainly helped to maintain some form of sanity. Before all the mayhem took over I was living in the fast lane complaining about not spending enough time at home with my loved ones. I should definitely enjoy it now and take advantage of it, for time spent with the family should not be taken for granted. Playing board games, building Legos and watching movies are moments that bring a smile to my face. Even bickering with my sibling via video chat has been priceless, as corny as it may sound. It’s most Important to remember that I’m not alone in this situation where life seemed to stop for more than a minute.

Family, neighbors, Citrus students and faculty are all dealing with their own situations.

Time did not stop and as the semester ends.Reflecting on the challenges that many of us experienced as students during this unprecedented time, I hope we will see it as a stepping stone in our ongoing journey of life. Although moments are still challenging with the uncertainty of things during this global pandemic, asking for help is certainly a start to a path of healing. Citrus offers workshops that deal with this unforeseen event for students that find themselves needing a bit more care, on top of all the other workshops offered every semester.

Next semester can only get better. We have to let go of the fear and trust in ourselves. It’s either making excuses or moving on. Sitting down and enjoying the night sky should be a simple task to do, and no matter how hard it seems right now, I know that we’ll be able to do it again. L SPRING 2020 | LOGOS | 7

CULTURE

OU

S I S I H T A C I R E M A R DRA

TEXT

LIAN T BY: D AR

X

DEAU

THIBO

AN

Deep rooted rasicm in the United States and the importance of voting.

8|

LOGOS | SPRING 2020

D

CULTURE

riving down the street in my neighborhood around 1 p.m., headed home after working out, the traffic light turns red and a police officer pulls up next to me.

My body tenses up, so I tightly firm my grip on the steering wheel. My palms are sweating and my hands tremble slightly.

Why am I feeling this way when I’ve done nothing wrong?

The light turns green and I continue on my way, the officer not far behind. In less than a minute, I turn down my street and into my driveway. The officer stops, blocking my car in, and exits his vehicle with his hand on his firearm.

“Where are you coming from?” he asks bluntly as he proceeds to look me up and down and walk around my car. “I just came from working out with my trainer,” I say, trying to be as compliant as possible to avoid any more unnecessary trouble.

As he continues, I ask what I have done for him to confront me in this way, and the only explanation given is, “You fit the description of a woman fleeing a hit and run.” Not my car. Me. My body tenses further as it was never given the opportunity to relax from when he drove closely behind me. I asked for details but am provided with none other than my car didn’t match the description of the suspect, but I did. He never mentioned that the suspect has brightly colored hair (I do), that the suspect is wearing an Amon Amarath band t-shirt (I am), or that the suspect has facial piercings (like mine).

That’s because she doesn’t possess any of those traits. The only thing I have in common with her is my brown skin.

After he leaves, I become teary eyed and flashbacks from other times when I’ve heard the words “You fit the description” solely based on my skin tone begin to fill my mind. I know I’m not alone in having gone through these kinds of hellish encounters.

I am a mixed-race Black/Hispanic/Native American woman living in the United States of America, in a predominantly white and Asian neighborhood.This is important because although I am not nor was I the only person with my complexion in the neighborhood , my aesthetic is very particular, so it’s hard to mistake. The aforementioned incident happened in late 2018.

Fast forward to mid-2020, the year of CoronaVirus (COVID-19). A time in which most would think we as a people experiencing a shared trauma would come together, but instead there is still a divide within the culture.

SPRING 2020 | LOGOS | 9

CULTURE

In less than six months there has been the news of at least three people of color being murdered by police, filling the social media feeds of many Americans and countless others not making it to the mainstream media or news, causing a much understood outrage.

Here we are in a country which prides itself on the diversity of its people still unable to separate from the deep seeded racism in which we were built.

From the shooting of Ahmaud Arbery, who was simply out for a jog, to the suspicion that those of Asian descent carry Coronavirus, and many other displays of racism perpetrated on innocent citizens, though unfortunate, these phenomena are nothing new and often become the most apparent during times of high stress.

Although many in our society would like to place the blame for the harm done to our communities soley on President Donald Trump, whose words often stoke hate and display ignorance, and the police officers who have abused their power seemingly with immunity (as well as their colleagues who appear to overlook their misdeeds), and other government officials who fail to address systemic racism and other social ills, these are not the only source of our problem.

10 |

LOGOS | SPRING 2020

We also have a part to play in the continued oppression of the American people of color. Those of us that choose not to vote. Those that retort with “all lives matter” whenever someone asserts that “black lives matter,” without truly understanding the meaning behind the slogan. Even if they don’t intend to cause harm, they have become victims to the efforts of those who only wish to divide us.

Racially motivated crimes are nothing new: he Native American genocide, slavery, the lynchings that continued in the Jim Crow South after emancipation, the burning of Black Wall Street in Tulsa, the internment of Japanese Americans during World War II, and even more recently the rise in hate crimes towards Latinx following President Trump’s anti-immigrant rhetoric and the abuse of migrant children and families.

When Trump became president, he didn’t force anyone to become racist; he only laid the groundwork for those that already were to feel more comfortable being open about it. I am no fan of our current president; however, I cannot ignore the facts. It is unrealistic to think that a person can wake up one morning and just decide to be racist towards an entire group of people.

CULTURE

This leads me to the question of the hour: What can we do to bring about the desperately needed, lasting change our country needs?

First, we must no longer be afraid of having difficult conversations regarding race. Seeing no color is part of the problem. We can not sit back and ignore the color of our skin, nor should we have to, for that matter. Why should a person’s race or ethnicity make another person uncomfortable? It shouldn’t. Our color is heritage, it is our culture, and claiming to not see color, even if said with good intentions, is undermining the struggles that those of that color have experienced. Seeing a person’s color is acknowledging that person as a whole.

Next, see something, say something. In our age of technology, we now have the power to protect one another and to hold those with ill intentions accountable at the touch of a finger and the loud roars of like minded people. Racism should no longer be tolerated, and those that choose to behave in that manner need to be aware that although your speech is free, words are not without consequence, especially online.

Finally, the biggest hurdle to overcome is finding the ability to trust one another. Although racism is still very much alive today, there are also a multitude of individuals that want to help the fight against it.

These are the people we need the most. The frustration, anger, and lack of trust felt is not unwarranted. However, for our voices to be really heard, we need those that already have their foot in the doorway (who’s words are less likely to be ignored) as much as we need each other. This includes but is definitely not limited to the white allies that have chosen to not only speak up against the injustice towards POC, but also make the conscious effort to educate those around them.

I am not so naive to think that these minor things will completely abolish racism or systemic oppression in our country, but more than ever we have to put certain differences aside and come together as a united people in order to lay down the foundation for the change that we need. And most importantly, everyone with the ability to vote should vote. Those that choose not to are giving up their privilege to place individuals that are for the betterment of our communities in positions of power. This does not mean only voting for a new president, but for our mayors, our judges, our governors and representatives. All of these people make the decisions that directly affect the people in their cities.

The protests and rioting that have followed the murder of George Floyd on May 25, 2020, by police officer Derek Chauvin are a prime example why voting is so important as these are the American people showing the world that enough is enough. It is time to make your voices heard in order to bring attention to the injustice that has been going on for far too long and to fight the corruption in our system by voting new people into government positions. L

SPRING 2020 | LOGOS | 11

LIFE STYLE

FLOWER BEANS CAFE TEXT AND ART BY: LIANDRA THIBODEAUX

Cafe near Citrus College that serves sweet and savory crêpes.

Photo of strawberry and banana smoothie paired with bacon breakfast bagel taken on June 15 in West Covina, Ca. Flower Beans Cafe serves breakfast sandwiches on a variety of breads (such as bagels and croissant).

12 |

LOGOS | SPRING 2020

LIFE STYLE

W

hile U.S. citizens take part in the stay at home order as a response to the global Coronavirus pandemic, many of us have come to rely on take-out orders, curbside pickup and delivery methods provided by restaurants as a means to obtain our sustenance. One afternoon, as I was watching an episode of The Great (a comedic Hulu show about an emperor and empress of Russia, with seemingly very little historical facts) I suddenly began to crave crêpes. This was a bit odd because I hadn’t seen a single crêpe the entirety of the time in which I was watching the show. Regardless, the search to satisfy my craving was on. I decided to turn to Google and Yelp for aid as I don’t know of many places in my general area (which so happens to be about 15 minutes away from Citrus College) that serve crêpes. In the course of my search on Yelp, I stumbled across a wonderful little gem called the Flower Beans Cafe that is located in the city of Covina in the same plaza as the AMC movie theater (near the cross streets of Arrow Hwy and Azusa Ave).

First, I scrolled through the reviews and images of food provided by past customers. Next, I visited the linked website (Flowerbeanscafe.com) to further see if this would be the place for me. While on the website, I found that it was fairly straightforward and easy to use. This was very important because having a hard time navigating a website can definitely deter my interest. So, the simpler, the better. While on the site, I found a gallery of images of food, a menu, methods of contact and how to order. I chose to order directly from the website.

While browsing the Restaurant’s menu, I was pleasantly surprised by the amount of variety this little cafe offered.

They not only served crêpes but sandwiches (hot and cold) as well as an assortment of hot and iced drinks.

Now for the biggest challenge: sweet or savory? Due to my frequent indecisiveness, I decided to follow the wise words of Retta (a character from a show called Parks and Recreation), “Treat yoself.” I got both. Why not? Most of the crêpes I’ve come across in the past weren’t as filling, so I expected the same from this cafe… Boy, was I wrong.

I ordered the ham and cheese savory crêpe and the strawberry and banana sweet crêpe.. I could have built my own crêpe (a nice feature the cafe offers), but admittedly I was lazy and didn’t want to put in too much effort. I also decided to order the breakfast bagel (I’m a sucker for a good breakfast bagel). As soon as I made my selections, I placed my order and opted for carry out.

Upon arrival and walking inside, I noticed that there was a large clear barrier dividing the cashier (in which I assume was added as a safety precaution because of the pandemic) and paying customers. There was a lovely and strategically placed Japanese cherry blossom partition wall dividing the room in half. The most interesting aspects of the room were the canvas photos of what looks like bags

of flour (an ingredient used to make crepês) on the walls and the section of the room closed off with clear glass allowing customers to view their food being made.

Once my food was ready, I received it packaged in styrofoam containers ( I know they are not the best for the environment, but they did keep the food intact and from leaking through) and placed in a plastic bag which was tied closed. I was surprised by how heavy it was. I shrugged it off and was on my way home. The combination of sweet and savory smells filled my car as I drove, furthering my excitement for my long awaited meal.

After getting home and opening up the containers, I came to the startling realization that just maybe this would be too much food for me.

First bite was of the ham and cheese savory crêpe . Inside consisted of cooked ham, tomatoes, spinach and melted cheese, all wrapped up in the thin pancake-like foundation.

The outside was drizzled with a balsamic dressing and garnished with pickled jalapeños, avocado and more tomato.

When biting into it, I noticed that the dressing really brought the flavors together as it added a very slight sweetness to the meal balancing out the saltiness of the ham and cheese on the inside. When choosing to add a piece of the jalapeño to the next bite, a slight tangy spiciness was added to the mix. This for me worked out pretty well because I’m a fan of spicy food but was more in the mood for something subtle rather than drowning my food in hot sauce like I often do. Once I started to feel that this part of the meal was going to be too heavy (thus stopping me from trying the other things) I chose to stop eating. I ended up only getting through about ¼ of the crêpe.

The next bite was of the breakfast bagel sandwich. This also had jalapeños on the side as well as strawberries and a dab of whipped cream. The sandwich consisted of a fully cooked egg, cream cheese, avocado, Monterey Jack cheese (as per my choosing) and ham all stacked inside an everything bagel (also of my choosing). The first thing I ate was the strawberries and cream since strawberries are my favorite food. Admittedly, I probably should have saved them for the end of this meal portion as it would have helped me better transition to the next part but it is what it is.

Next came the bagel itself. Once again the combined ingredients really complimented each other. However, as with many bagel breakfast sandwiches, I will say that at a certain point it became a bit of a challenge to keep together. This is primarily due to the density of the bread.

When too much pressure is applied while eating, the inside contents tend to get pushed out, so it can get a bit messy.

Either way, I still very much enjoyed it as a whole.

Finally came the sweet crêpe: strawberries and banana.

On the inside were sliced strawberries and banana pieces accompanied by Nutella chocolate, wrapped in the thin pancake breading. The outside was drizzled with chocolate, lightly coated in powdered sugar and garnished with SPRING 2020 | LOGOS | 13

LIFE STYLE

Photos of strawberry and chocolate (left) and ham and cheese crepe (right) taken on June 15 in West Covina, Ca. Flower Beans Cafe serves sweet and savory crepes that can be made to order.

more sliced strawberries and whipped cream. This crêpe definitely satisfied my sweet tooth and although there is the option of adding ice cream to this selection, I’m glad I didn’t. It definitely would have melted by the time I made it to this portion of the meal.

However, if you’re just looking for dessert, I’d recommend it, especially on a hot day. Like with the ham and cheese crêpe, this was also fairly filling so I only initially made it for a few bites, but proceeded to return to it later in the day (surprisingly it was still pretty great).

Unfortunately, because of the constraint of time while writing this short review, and the unprecedented circumstances of the pandemic, I was unable to speak to the owner of the establishment, so I can’t really say what safety changes were made nor how this small business was impacted by COVID-19. What I do know by going there, though, is that the employees I’ve come across were all wearing masks and gloves while handling the food, and the cafe seemed very clean.

All in all my experience at the Flower Beans Cafe was a pleasant one. The convenience of location and the ease of use of the website were an absolute plus. Although the cost of food, which for me ended up being about $33 +/- for everything, can seem a bit much at first glance, based on the amount of product you receive, it’s worth the penny. L

14 |

LOGOS | SPRING 2020

LIFE STYLE

A Bit More Information: Address: 1406 N Azusa Ave, STE G Covina, Ca 91722 Phone: 626) 332. 0097 Website: www.FLOWERBEANSCAFE.com What they serve: Hot & Iced coffee drinks (Sizes:16oz, 20oz, 24oz. Prices from $2.65-$5.90 +/-) Ice blended drinks (Sizes:16oz, 20oz, 24oz. Prices from $4.85-$5.85 +/-) Ice cream blended drinks (Sizes:16oz, 20oz, 24oz. Prices from $5.60-$6.30 +/-) Loose leaf teas (Sizes:16oz, 20oz, 24oz. Prices from $3.15-$3.90 +/-) Sweet crepes (0-2 Topings $5.20-$7.25 +/-) Savory crepes ($7.25-$8.70 +/-) Sandwiches, Toast & Bagels ($4.50-$6.20 +/-)

SPRING 2020 | LOGOS | 15

OPINION

Sensitivity Warning: May trigger whose that have suffered from abuse

RED FLAGS TEXT BY: MAILI HIGASHIYAMA ART BY: LIANDRA THIBODEAUX

“First hand experience with an abusive relationship and the red flags that often went unnoticed.”

16 |

LOGOS | SPRING 2020

OPINION

Words are very powerful. They have the ability to brighten one’s mood, outlook, beliefs and much more.

But words can also destroy all those things plus one’s ability to see life clearly. This is when you have to pay attention to your gut, to those nagging feelings that something isn’t right.

When I was young, I was taught the rhyme “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” and I believed this wholeheartedly. But as I grew I realized this was a lie. Sometimes words hurt more than anything physical. I remember being teased about my wild hair in kindergarten by a boy I liked. My mom told me that he teased me because he liked me. At that moment it made perfect sense. Unknowingly this gave me a tainted frame to look through, a reason to excuse bad behavior under the guise of puppy love. I’ve always considered myself a strong woman, I was raised by strong women and surrounded myself with them, but one day I forgot about all of that and I went completely in the other direction.

I was lonely. I am a serial monogamist and do better when I have a partner. I was already in a low place having been dumped by someone I really cared for. He wasn’t ready to add dad to the title of boyfriend as I had a child from my previous marriage, so we went our separate ways. I didn’t give myself time to heal, to pick myself up from the lowly depths of despair.

Instead, I decided to show him that I was worthy of love and that there was someone out there who wanted to be in my life and my daughter’s life. This is where I went wrong.

I met someone very quickly and everything seemed to happen in the blink of an eye: red flag number one. Less than a month into this relationship, we all moved in together playing house, white picket fence and all.

We combined our kids, which brought along its own set of issues, but they were only all together on the weekends.

During this time I did something as a mother that I never foresaw myself doing. I let my daughter go. She didn’t want to be part of the family I created for her and I willingly let her go. That was red flag number two. I began to detach for everyone: my family, my friends, work acquaintances.I let him consume all of me and my time.

I allowed myself to be manipulated because it was easier than having to own up to the fact that maybe this relationship was toxic. At this point, the red flags were flying left and right but I remained blinded by my determination to create this perfect family that I so longed for.

He verbally abused me in front of his kids and I allowed it.

He apologized and made promises that it was a one-time thing and I believed him. But, looking back, I realized that often these behaviors aren’t one-time actions.They don’t just pop up out of nowhere; they are deep-rooted in a person. It wasn’t the first time or the last time I experienced abuse at his hands, and sadly this is one of the things that my daughter still remembers vividly.

For the most part, my family was standoffish towards him.

They could see what I could not.They warned me but I took that as them trying to break up my happy life. He played into this, whispering that they didn’t see me for the woman I had become, that they were trying to hold me back, that I didn’t matter to them and I agreed. I allowed this to drive a wedge between my family and me.

But it was different with his family and me.

They welcomed me in like I was some kind of savior for their youngest son. I usually have an easy time with people, but they were overly welcoming. They shared how terrible his ex wife was. They made her into a monster and that I was the savior to not only him but his children. I wouldn’t learn till much later how wrong they all were and that I should have never allowed their views to taint mine.

We go through life meeting people. Some of those people we take on to be friends.

We trust them with our secrets, share our dreams for the future, rant to them.

Basically, they have access to who we are at our core. My friends tried over and over to warn me, and after all the years of being together, you would think I would at least hear them out, but I didn’t. We have been through a lot together. We formed our friendship at the very beginning of high school and have managed to stay together to this very day.

But for a while, I left them. I let my boyfriend convince me that they were doing fine without me. I often missed them but he would say things like if they missed you they would invite you places. This is true, and they did at first try to include me, but after I turned them down so many times, they stopped asking. It was just the way he planted seeds in my mind that they didn’t care. It was like a poison which took over and I pulled away.

Another huge red flag for me was that he didn’t have any friends of his own. This bothered me, but when I would bring it up, he said that his ex-wife got all the friends in the divorce, so I let it slide. He told me that he didn’t need friends because he had me, that I was his best friend and I was all he needed. I saw someone who was broken and needed to be fixed. He wanted my full attention and I gave him that.

SPRING 2020 | LOGOS | 17

OPINION

We all have cracks, small things that once touched shoot forward and break. His sister died, and that is when we fully broke. Something inside of him shattered, and he became someone I didn’t even recognize. He would tell me about the women at work who would swoon over pictures of him and the baby. His energy was manic and unhinged whereas I was suffering from postpartum depression. I felt like a failure in every way possible. The baby had colic and needed to constantly be held; it was the only way he didn’t scream. I let the chores go, I didn’t take care of myself, and this added more stress to the situation.

I lost myself in this relationship. I forgot who I was, I pushed away from family and friends and basically was living this perfect dream life in my head while in reality, everything was falling apart around me. Our relationship started to crumble, the kids fought, we fought, every day seemed like it would be the last and for some reason when he suggested we have a baby I said yes. Like bringing a baby would be the Band-aid to all of the bleeding wounds and we would magically make everything right.

I wasn’t 100 percent on board to have another child with another man. But I also wanted a child that didn’t have to go back and forth between parents every other week. I was sold on the dream of “yours, mine and ours” and even sent out a pregnancy announcement with those very words. This, I feel, was the beginning of the end. He convinced me that this would make everything better. We moved about an hour away from my immediate family and friends, further isolating me. We fought more and more.

Once it was so bad that I just wanted to go home to my mom.

I tried to get my things to leave and he grabbed me and threw me onto the bed, not allowing me to leave. I slapped him, and he apologized profusely. He reminded me that this baby would be our chance to make right all the wrongs we imposed on our first children. So I stayed.

He became more distant. I blamed it on his work, his terrible boss, and the fact that his younger sister was dying from cancer. I tried to take care of him, but it was draining. I was carrying a baby and that was where my attention went. His went elsewhere. We both sunk into separate depressions although we were never diagnosed. We started to drift even further apart, and then I gave birth three weeks early, probably due to stress. My little guy needed to be in the Newborn Intensive Care Unit (NICU) for five days after I was discharged. I was there from dusk till dawn and he came a few times, citing he was tired. I finally began to notice the red flags that had been there all along.

18 | LOGOS | SPRING 2020

This carried on for a few months. He started being secretive, always on his phone, coming home late. I had my suspicions but it wasn’t until his mom made a joke about checking in on him to make sure he wasn’t cheating while I was away visiting my mom that it all clicked. Everything made sense and I lost it. I watched him, I tracked our car, and then I realized that his phone was hooked up to our iPad and he hadn’t changed the password. It was then I saw everything he had been up to. In my rage and fury, I sent the photos I found to his mom. She was distraught to say the least. But at that moment it was the only thing I felt I could do to hurt him as he hurt me. He was always very close to his mom. Was it wrong to lash out on his loved ones? Possibly but is there a definitive right and wrong way to heal?

All I knew was that in that moment I was done with everything that I had to endure and also put my daughter through for nothing. Almost five years of my life I had devoted to this man, I pushed away everyone in my life including my daughter to be with him and in the end it didn’t even matter.

I wallowed in self-pity. Why me? What now? I had wasted all that time and now I was attached to this guy for a lifetime because we shared a kid. Not only did I have two kids but they had two different fathers. There’s a stigma attached to that and now it was attached to me. I was embarrassed.

I looked back to the very first fight we had and I wished that I would have walked away. It was then that I realized if a person could put you down in front of their kids that the boundaries would always be blurred or even nonexistent.

OPINION

Emotional abuse can be hard to recognize. We as a society have been conditioned to think a certain way; that if the bruises can’t be seen then they don’t exist. We allow these toxic thoughts and beliefs. We do so because it’s so familiar to us. For most, it starts at a young age. At times the perpetrator isn’t even aware that they are being abusive, as it’s a learned behavior. It may be generational but is not in tune with the current generation. Emotional abuse is the same as physical as it’s centered around taking control and intending harm.

Many young women grow up being told to watch what they eat, to exercise, how to dress, sit, stand, breathe --basically everything and anything has its own rule. Rules, criticism, or comments are not necessarily a bad thing if the intent is to help guide someone to be better or to educate. Creative criticism, social or familial influence can be a healthy back and forth for how to navigate through life. However, when those criticisms become unkind, are unsolicited and with the intent to hurt the individual in order to elicit a change, that is when it becomes abusive.

There are always red flags, gut feelings, even people who can see what you can’t or don’t want to see. If you feel that you are in a similar situation to what I’ve been through, that’s the first step to making change. If your friend or family member is experiencing this do your best to be there and help if you can, but also be aware of your own boundaries. Take time to know yourself, know what you are willing to accept and where you draw your line. Don’t dwell on the time that you have invested if you aren’t happy. And don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself and when you know things aren’t right.

In retrospect I can say those years were not in vain. I learned a lot about myself, but more so who I wanted to be. I allowed someone to take everything I was willing to give with only pretty words in return. During my healing process, I had to dig deep and see me for who I was. I had to make amends with everyone and luckily for me they were there with open arms.

This was surprising as I had pushed them away for so long.

I found catharsis through writing. I let all of it seep out of me, I expelled all the toxicity through blogging and in turn healed myself.

IMPORTATANT WEBSITES AND PHONE NUMBERS: More detailed signs to look for: https://www.thehotline.org/is-this-abuse 24/7 Call Services: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) Crisis Text Line: Text ‘START’ to 741741 Domestic Violence Organizations in California: https://www.cpedv.org/domestic-violence-organizations-california

It has now been seven years since I walked away from that man. My life has totally changed. I have never been closer to my family and friends. I couldn’t imagine going through this pandemic without them. I’m married to the most amazing guy who is the complete opposite of anyone I’ve ever dated.

There were zero red flags, quite the opposite to be honest.

My family and friends loved and accepted him almost immediately which was very important considering what I had been through in previous relationships. I wanted to make sure that he fit into my life, that he complimented not complicated it. I took my time with him and got to know him, I watched how he interacted with my kids and in turn how my kids responded to him. We’ve been together for five years now and of course we have had arguments and disagreements but never have I felt unsafe, manipulated or that I wasn’t being true to myself.

SPRING 2020| LOGOS | 19

OPINION

FORGIVE ME NOT? TEXT BY: DIOCELYN CARLON ART BY: PRISCILLA MEDINA

When is it ok to sincerly forgive someone for past transgressions?

20 |

LOGOS | SPRING 2020

OPINION

2

020 got off to a rough start and has shown no signs of letting up. Regardless of which side you were on, the impeachment trials were nerve-racking to say the least. We survived the possibility of the next world war, and my hands are now raw from these 20-secondhot-water-hand washes followed by a hand sanitizer nail soak. Coronavirus D19 very suddenly became very real.

However, Angelenos were also struck by the loss of icon Kobe Bryant. His death shocked the entire nation but Los Angeles county, and possibly all Southern California, was most deeply wounded. People all around me were moved to tears while I was in disbelief. Everyone dove into social media and news sites as we began to sift through the rumors. Was Rick Fox on the aircraft too? How many people were on the helicopter?

His children on the flight too?

Dear God, say it isn’t so!

Regardless of which rumors turned out to be true, and which turned out to be false the reality was grim. News and social media were bombarded reviewing tragic facts and paying tribute. As L.A. and basketball culture were coming to grips, it was easy to remember his incredible basketball career and his recognition as an intellectual who won awards for his short films and spoke several different languages including Spanish and Italian. But while we were reminiscing of his accomplishments, we were also harshly reminded of a disturbing time in his history: the 2003 rape allegations which led to his arrest in Colorado. It seemed some people, perhaps out of desperation or personal pain, were willing to rob a man of his most basic dignity: a noble passing.

Some of us relieved many emotions and the discussion sparked all over again. Many are still completely skeptical of his accuser’s motives, while others find it necessary to hold Bryant accountable for actions he may have committed 17 years ago. In 2003 the public was scandalized by the allegations but many of us were eager to move on as he went on to play the absolute best season of his career in 2006, win his first Olympic medal in 2008, and break the record as the Laker who had scored the most points (25,192) in 2009.

But had we forgiven? It seems some people not so much and wounds were reopened as the details resurfaced.

The account of each party was bone chilling, at best. For many they triggered emotions which related to our own experiences with sexual abuse. In the age of the Me-Too movement many of us are operating from a zero-tolerance standpoint. As well we should, enough is enough, however I must ask how forgiveness fits into a zero-tolerance

Kobe Bryant apologized and as far as public apologies go, his felt sincere. He apologized to the public, to his fans and to the young woman involved. He made some bold admissions in his apology just short of conceding to the woman’s allegations. He became a dedicated ally for women’s basketball on every level embracing and advocating for gender equality in the sports industry. It is also worth noting that he was never part of another scandal after the incident in the Colorado Hotel.

For a survivor of sexual abuse, forgiveness, or lack thereof, is a sensitive subject, and everyone comes to terms with it individually. This concept became clearer to me as I progressed along my own path of healing. I began to understand that my lack of forgiveness stemmed from a deeply rooted pain which crippled me daily and that to forgive was in my best interest, not my attacker’s.

Before achieving a level of forgiveness anger masked, soothed and protected my pain. Any mention of abuse or an abuser sent me reeling into fits of rage and panic and I desperately sought justice if not blatant revenge.

It seems obvious that this renewed attack on a deceased individual who is entitled to the dignity of being mourned in peace, also stems from unresolved pain. While I identify deeply with this scenario and with this reaction, I can no longer relate to it. As I discussed this issue out loud, I found myself saying phrases like “acting out of pain” and “to err is human”. I found myself recalling mistakes I have made as long as ten years ago that haunt me today. Mistakes which hurt people, some of whom I love dearly. Mistakes for which I am still making amends, and which have stamped a messy label on me that I still struggle to shed.

To err truly is human and forgiveness need not, must not, be divine. Forgiveness is a necessary social function, but it is also an important tool in the self-care toolbox. Paula Deen has apologized for her racist remarks, Kevin Hart has apologized several times for his homophobic remarks and even Robert Oppenheimer expressed deep regret for his involvement in the creation of the world’s most destructive weapon: the Atomic Bomb. When we as a society can begin to forgive these errors, it will be a sign of our healing, of our progress in matters of civil rights. When we are no longer so deeply wounded by our own experiences that we must hold everyone accountable for our own pain, that will speak of an advancing society. L

SPRING 2020 | LOGOS | 21

OPINION

NOT SO SAVVY TEXT BY: ALISHA HONEYCUTT ART BY: PRISCILLA MEDINA

Older students often face challenges when having to use modern technology.

Here are some helpful tips.

22 |

LOGOS | SPRING 2020

OPINION

W

hether you hear the terms – Log In, Insta- Gram-me, FaceTime me or Snap me. If you aren’t familiar with these worldwide social media terms, then “Welcome to the Land of the Lost”. As a Non- Traditional Student, this is how I felt when asked to connect to these media entities for any given class and or now workplace communications.

Getting to class on time and participating in the class is one thing, but now that we are on a global lock down and facing a “Stay Home Order”, our classroom attendance and performance relies on our ability to “Log In”. Now, for some of us who feel like we’re the internet and Technically challenged students, connecting to the Internet and participating in classroom assignments is a whole new world of added frustration and stress.

Facing the challenges of the world of the Internet reminds me of the old hit Saturday Morning Cartoon called the JETSONS; Whelp, that’s exactly who we’ve turned into!

I remember scenes where the company boss Mr. Spacley was on something like “ZOOM” – using a TV like Monitor to call on his employee George Jetson, and then he screams out a new assignment order through the TV screen. Or “Jane his Wife‘’ (George’s Wife) pushes buttons on a box like device in the kitchen and out comes this fully made meal – (The Microwave). Well, here it is 58 years later and their predictions of a Land of the digital and electronic controlled environment is finally here.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m learning to love the world of Online and Remote learning, as it has many benefits- such as, working at home ( in your PJ’s), researching anything through Google, connecting with classmates through Zoom, and much more.

For the IT challenged student, the biggest barrier may be just logging on with the right password. I honestly cannot remember how many times I had to change my password or write down where to click to sort of navigate my way around the program.

Another challenge may be when a student struggles to submit an assignment to the correct link – and ON Time- or respond back to a discussion group appropriately. This can produce extra stress and fear. In fact there are several barriers that the IT Challenged Student may face.

The lack of knowledge of how to log in How to navigate around the various links Submitting assignments via upload /download Retrieving assignments or instructions So, how does an IT Challenged Student navigate her way in this new Land of the Internet?

Here are some tips that may help you prepare for joining the “IT Remote Classroom”.

• • • • • • • • • • • • •

Relax- Log in with confidence Have a support system – someone who is accessible and can assist Have a notepad to take notes.

Have the school IT contact number or schedule of availability.

Citrus College IT Technical support # 626-914-8666 Print out the class syllabus EARLY – know your due dates ahead of time Practice good Time Management. (Organize a timeline).

Prepare assignment goals at least a week ahead of time.

Work on assignments as soon as you have downtime- (before due dates) Consider starting some of the harder assignments first / or prepare to organize a plan for them PRIORITIZE Have your Instructors office and contact number saved or nearby.

Don’t be afraid to keep asking for help or clarity of “HOW TO”.

PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE!

By using some of these tools, the IT Challenged Student can broaden their skills and their ability to maintain progress in the world of Remote Learning. It’s a great feeling when you begin to sharpen your skills and keep up with the lesson plan and your colleagues. It’s like you leave the world of the “Jetson’s and acquire new super learning capabilities like another more recent Digital Cartoon character called “Jenny” - on My Life as a Teenage Robot! And….. Just like Jenny, you’ll be proud to say “So, Welcome to my Life”. L

SPRING 2020 | LOGOS | 23

culture

Get Cookin’ TEXT BY: LISA OGANESYAN TEXT AND PHOTOS BY: DIOCELYN CARLON

A simple recipe for versatile chicken that any college student can make.

24 |

LOGOS | SPRING 2020

culture

D

o you feel like you’re dying inside but you’re smart enough to know that “this too shall pass”? Are you trying desperately to focus, not lose track of your goals and just power through? Good for you, because I feel the same! I feel like I wished upon some evil genie and was granted this: COVID-19. ” A swirl of its twisted, gnarled wand, some blinding flashes and here we are: on lockdown for over three months with hundreds of thousands of perished individuals around the world and navigating social upheaval and unrest on many levels. I am constantly overwhelmed with questions like “what can I do?” and “am I next?” My anxiety goes reeling and bouts of depression ebb and flow like the waves of an angry ocean.

Sometimes all I can do is breathe and cook some dinner.

If you have felt even a fraction of what I have described, I am here to tell you that diet can help. According to the Mayo Clinic, although your diet cannot cure anxiety, there are foods that can help with anxiety and have a calming effect in the body, such as protein. Depression dulls the communication between your brain and your body, making it difficult to recognize basic necessities like hunger and sleep deprivation.

In other words, if you are depressed you may become hungry without realizing it and then become anxious. Fiber from vegetables is also very important as it promotes gut health, not to mention their many vitamins and minerals which help to stabilize mood and promote a sense of well-being. I realize fast food is very attractive with its slew of brain stimulating chemicals to make you think it tastes good and its convenience. But even if you don’t suffer from depression, I challenge you to eat home cooked meals at least three times a week. You will feel better physically and emotionally as there is no better feeling than that of accomplishment and self-sufficiency.

Here is an easy recipe for pan seared chicken that will keep you out of the drive-thru for a few days. Once the chicken is cooked, you can dice it or shred it or chop it to your preference. You can spread it around a tortilla with some shredded cheese, fold it in half and grill for a yummy chicken quesadilla or layer it in a sandwich. You can smear hummus on a pita and toss in some chicken, lettuce, and tomatoes. You can fry up some bacon, boil an egg, shred some cheese and toss everything along with some chicken on top of a bed of lettuce, smother with ranch dressing and have the best salad ever! Store your chicken in an air-tight container in the fridge.

Ingredients: 1 average sized boneless chicken breast 1.5 to 2 cups of broth (any broth you’d like: chicken, beef vegetable, they all work fine) Juice from half of a lemon 1 tsp cumin 1 tsp paprika 0.5 tsp onion powder 1 tsp thyme, dried 2 cloves of garlic, minced 2 tbsp olive oil (any oil with a high cooking temperature is fine too) Salt and pepper to taste Directions: 1. Pound the chicken breast until it is about half of an inch thick.

To pound the chicken, make sure to protect it from the tenderizing mallet with something. I like to place the chicken breast in a food safe, reusable plastic bag, then place it on the cutting board and pound away with the meat tenderizer (actually, I just use my hammer). Or, you could place the chicken on the cutting board and lay parchment paper over the chicken before pounding. Either way is fine. Make sure to turn the chicken and pound both sides.

2. Make the marinade. In a bowl whisk together the broth, lemon juice, 1 tbsp olive oil, minced garlic and all other herbs and spices including the salt and pepper.

3. Marinate the chicken in a resealable plastic bag or small bowl. Lay the chicken in the marinade, cover and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes. Overnight is ok, too.

4. Cook the chicken. Heat 1 tbsp oil in a large frying pan. When the oil is hot, glistening and moves easily around the pan, place the chicken in the middle of the pan. Leave it alone except to check its color and turn it when the color is satisfying. Add more oil if necessary. Each side should take between 10 and 15 minutes to cook depending on the size of the breast. The flavor is in that smoky brown layer that builds as the chicken cooks. The richer you can achieve that golden brown without overcooking it, the tastier your chicken will be. Also look for firmness for signs of fully cooked chicken.

5. Slice, dice or chop. Let the chicken cool a bit and cut it up now to reserve its juices. If you cut it up after refrigerating, it may be a bit dry.

Enjoy!

Ingredients for the recipe presented on a counter top on June 26 in Azusa, Ca. Some of these include various spices and cooking oil.

L

SPRING 2020 | LOGOS | 25

SHORT STORY

FINAL JOURNEY TEXT BY: RITA RIVERA ART BY: LIANDRA THIBODEAUX

“A peaceful end to a long journey.”

26 |

LOGOS | SPRING 2020

SHORT STORY

“It’s so hot.” My voice cracked but the sound still pierces through the silence. I don’t know why I needed to say it out loud, the heat is obvious to my aching feet, my shoes seem to be doing nothing to protect my soles from the heat radiating from the pavement. I think sometimes I spoke out loud in hopes I might hear an answer, although hearing an answer might be just as frightening as this ghostly silence. But I’m sure I spoke just to hear something, just to see if I still could. I used to sing, but I feel as if I’ve used up all the music I had in me on this journey. My body begged for a break, but I was saving the last of my water and I knew I was almost there. I had to be, I could smell it, the salty air was all that was keeping me going.

It was well over a month since I decided to travel west. The last time I was able to get my hands on a working car was on day 23, I stopped keeping track after that. I knew I was near the end now, I just had to see it, feel it just once. The empty shops and weeds and grass growing unchecked on the sidewalk was a common sight and the sun causing waves of heat to radiate off the cars were making me feel disoriented.

I didn’t want to stop to check my map, afraid I would lose momentum and not want to start walking again. Luckily a break in the landscape of buildings helped me regain my focus, green. I had come upon what looked to be an overgrown park. I decided to walk through

it to take a break from the street. The noises startled me. Wind through the trees? No.

“Animals.” I rasped, squirrels maybe. The sound of my voice made what ever was there scurry away. I looked all around me just for a chance to see them. I saw the tail run up the tree, too big to be a squirrel. How long had it been since I saw a cat? I finally took notice of the eyes in the branches watching me. At least a dozen cats. As I continued walking through the park, I saw a dead mouse, I wondered if I would see one of the cats come back for it, but the animals knew better then to come out of their hiding places, especially in this heat. Just knowing there were living things here left me with a feeling of contentment.

Before I knew it, I was back on the street. The silence had only returned for a little while, I saw the parking lot at the same time that I heard it. That rhythmic crashing sound could only be one thing.

I wanted to run, but my body lacked the energy. All I could do was pick up the pace, walking as fast as I could. My heart leaped when I saw nothing but the blue horizon. As soon as my feet hit sand I froze. …………………….

Despite the empty bleakness, I had seen many beautiful landscapes SPRING 2020 | LOGOS | 27

SHORT STORY

on my journey. Farms and large outstretched plains that often made me stop to regain my bearings. When I had to travel through the mountain, I never felt as strong and proud as when I reached the peak and saw the world stretched out before me. I thought I wouldn’t make it when I was crossing the desert. That was around the last time I had found a car, the gas lasted most of the way according to the map, I’m sure I wouldn’t have made it if not for that. It was another mountain and through a forest that I thought about staying put. The tree’s a relief from the never-ending heat, the animals seemed to have had the same idea. Leave it to them to know where to go to survive.

I had found a lake then that definitely put old Coldwater Lake to shame and I tried to tell myself it was good enough.

It was only after I realized my backpack was extremely low on supplies that I found the picture laying at the bottom of it. The picture of my parents when they first met, a ferris wheel behind them, sparkling blue all around.

They looked so happy and I so desperately wanted to capture a piece of it.

I became more determined than ever after that. I took shorter breaks and made less stops. It wasn’t until I stood beneath the shadows of Los Angeles towering buildings that I had to stop in awe. I had the urge to be a typical tourist, I wondered how far the Hollywood sign was, wondered if it was still even 28 |

LOGOS | SPRING 2020

there. I thought about finding those stars with famous people’s names in the sidewalk, but it didn’t take long for the site of buildings to get tiring, the novelty wearing off the more trash I saw and old torn tents in the streets. I started to miss fresh air and yearned to reach my destination more than ever. …………………….

A loud creak pulled me out of my deep reflection. I pulled the old picture out of my pocket and held it up, trying to line it up to the tilted ferris wheel that was in front of me. I wish I could ride it, but the broken and fallen beams of the pier and loud creaking every time the wind picked up was a clear warning not to get too close. With the falling apart pier to my right and a washed-up boat to my far left, I had one clear path, straight to the ocean.

I walked up just to the line where water rushed up in the sand. I dropped my bag to the ground, took out my water bottle and poured the last of the water into my dry throat.

“Toto, we’re not in Kansas anymore.” I smiled brightly to myself, I always wanted to say that. It renewed just enough of my energy and I quickly removed my shoes and ran the little stretch of sand that it took for the water to come rushing past my ankles. The water was warmer than I knew it should have been but I didn’t care, nothing mattered any-

SHORT STORY

more. I had made it.

I took in the majesty of the ocean, the push and pull of the waves telling me the world would be just fine. It was the perfect ending to my journey, that long road I had traveled behind me, the blue horizon in front of me feeling like the edge of the world.

I don’t know if the sky was growing darker or my eyes were just closing. But I knew it was time for me to rest, the sound of the waves my own personal lullaby. My journey was over, but I didn’t have to worry, there would be a tomorrow. L

The sun began to set, the sky started to blaze into a brilliant orange.

My legs finally gave way and I crumbled to the ground. I strained to keep my eyes open, I wanted this to be the last thing I saw. Maybe across that ocean there was someone else out there. I could only hope they weren’t alone, and that they had something just as beautiful to look at when their time was over. It began to cool down and I heard the unmistakable sound of a bird. The hope it gave me filled me with a sense of peace.

As I laid on that beach and stared up into the sky, stars began to become visible, I thought of that old song my mom use to sing.

“The sun’ll come out Tomorrow Bet your bottom dollar That tomorrow There’ll be sun…

Just thinkin’ about Tomorrow Clears away the cobwebs And the sorrow ‘Til there’s none…”

SPRING 2020 | LOGOS | 29

LOGOS ISSUE

2

SPRING 2020 ISSUE 2