Love your lines by abbielewis

love your lines â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;the memories that stay with usâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;

love your lines

Scars pose a significant concern to individuals and can have a profound effect on our lives, functionally and aesthetically, particularly when highly visible. On average, an individual has three scars on their body, making scaring a common occurrence. In this document people have kindly shared their scar stories, both mental and pyscial for a varity of different reasons. This project is to help celebrate and cherish the experiences that once felt negative but are now part of who we are, giving our bodies character and strength.

when i was it used to bo but as iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve g up itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just b part of who i

younger other me, grown become i am

I had a moment of madness...

I broke both my calcaneus (heel bones) and my wrist at the same time. I had a moment of madness where I left my phone in a mates flat. They were playing music so didn't here me knocking the door. I climbed up the front of the flat and made a grab for the window ledge. Missed! Came down like a tonne of bricks and yeah broke three bones. I had a boot on my foot and an elbow crutch for 3 months. Couldn't walk from October to December. When I could it hurt like hell at first. It definitely made me very grumpy, frustrated, sore around the shoulders and back.

I lost confidence for sure it was really hard work getting physically strong enough to walk with full strides. Any exertion and it was like a warm burning feeling. Lots of clicking and crunching in the joint. It took a lot of stretching, walking and cycling to get back my confidence. People noticed me limping which is a knock to your self esteem as well because you think you'll always have an issue. But it got much better, I feel pretty much back to normal these days! I can feel a little tenderness there the occasional click but I've fully recovered and don't really worry about it anymore. I'll always know I did it but it doesn't set me back.

so that's bullshit

I have this bad boy on my leg... I've been to the doctors with it now for about the past three years. I have tried all sorts of treatments, including steroids that brought me up in loads of little itchy lumps. I've been told it's ringworm, then something else to do with diabetes; then it's scar tissue from a burn from a fire I've NEVER been in, so that's bullshit, but yeah it makes me feel VERY self conscious when I have my legs out. I notice people staring at it all the time, then people say, “mate what is that on your leg a burn or something?”, and my manager calls me ‘mouldy foot.’, I act like it doesn't bother me when people ask but it really does. I try covering it with foundation and everything.

INF PAG

FO GE It is estimated that, of all the new scars formed, most can be attributed to everyday cuts, grazes and minor burns. No matter how big or small the scar is, most of us are self-conscious of our scars and would keep them covered under long sleeve shirts and long fringes just to shield them from the eyes of people.

how and where?

I worked as a door supervisor in Nottingham while I was at University and about 20 years old. Whilst working at one of the less nice bars a fight broke out between two fairly large groups of males. I ran in to start removing those involved, but as I did so one guy threw a heavy glass at the other group. This hit my square above my left eye and shattered. I assumed that the liquid I could feel on my face was whatever had been in the glass so grabbed the guy who had thrown it and removed him via a fire exit. It was then that I realized that actually I was quite badly cut. I had a 15 stitches put in and a lot of glue. The guy who threw the glass was charged with GBH and served a bit under 2 years. The main scar is about 2 inches long and runs above my left eye, there are a number of smaller scars around my left eye from where the glass shattered.

Express

how it has impacted your life?

I have had 'cosmetic surgery' to correct the scar as it was very bulbous as it had lots of scar tissue behind it. I was playing a lot of rugby and the scar was likely to break open if it suffered impact. The scar was opened, the scar tissue removed and then re-stitched so that the scar follows my natural frown lines on my forehead.

The emotions From when it

you have felt?

first happened to now?

I have never felt that the scar is overly ugly, but rather that it adds character. I definitely see it as something of a war wound.

Has

it had any consequences on

your life style at all?

No, I went back to work the following night.

Has it effected Do you hide it

your self confidence?

from people/ cover it up?

No, it has a good story behind it and it is part of the experiences I have had in my life C. Flanders Worcester

fu ph to

ull hoo

SAG My boob scars from reduction... well I was so excited to go topless when I first had them done, i was proper proud of them! However, these days I'm a bit saggier like everywhere so tend to keep them hidden away, but that's just an age thing...I think!!

BIT GGIER

i just hated how it looked.

I was messing about with this girl and accidentally passed her the hot end of a lighter. She obviously took this the wrong way and heated up a metal spoon and next thing i know slapped it on my forearm leaving me with a horribly shaped spoon scar. For years after this i would always wear long sleeved tops cus i just hated how it looked.

"I love it it make person w an interes

t because es me a who has sting past"

I had ditched school for the day, and then this dickhead off the estate turned up and he had nicked someones BMX. So he left it outside and i took it. I was riding it really fast and the chain went and the handle bars twisted, and i flew over them, landing with the break leaver going 4 inches into my leg. I had to go to hospital to get it stitched up. I was quite young at this point so thought the scar was pretty cool.

So i thought the scar was pretty cool!

d e s iu e i t i r u c e s n i c e r but g n i r sha el

y m p e e k o dt , f l e s y m o t s e d n u o f y l t cen e d a m , m e h gt r e t t e b t o l la

I have a two inch scar down the middle of my

tummy and six/seven scars across my chest

â&#x20AC;&#x153;All of them are as a result of cancer diagnosis and treatment.â&#x20AC;? I was first diagnosed with cancer a month after my 21st birthday. I had been very unwell for months and my general health deteriorated greatly and eventually I was diagnosed with stage 2 Hodgkin's Lymphoma. To gain a diagnosis I had to have a lymph node removed from my abdomen - it was supposed to be key hole surgery, but there were some complications and therefore my first scar was longer than expected. Following the operation I was given an epidural as pain relief but actually it wasn't too painful. It actually healed quite quickly. However, when it did heal it didn't heal very flat (if that makes sense!) so it doesn't look very attractive! At the time, and still now, I just see the scar as a means to an end - yes I don't particularly like it, especially when on holiday in a bikini but at least I am alive!

Around the same time I had a Hickman Line inserted in to my chest. This is what they use to give regular chemotherapy patients their treatment, rather than using needles each time. However, after only having the line for 2 weeks I was diagnosed with a DVT and had to have it removed! It would have been removed at some point anyway but I still have three quite tidy scars from it. Following 13 months of treatment consisting of chemo and radiotherapy, I was only in remission for 6 months and then my cancer returned. Again I had to have another Hickman Line inserted, but this time on the left hand side of my chest, which is much more tricky. The scars on this side of my chest are much more prominent - a less experienced doctor removed the line and made a little bit of a mess of it, so the scars are much worse on this side. I think that the fact that I was having treatment for cancer made me feel like the scars were the least of my problems. I have never really felt self-conscious about them because I see them as stories to tell. People who see me now always say that they would never have thought that I had been so ill, so I suppose they just reflect what I have been through. When I was younger (in my late teens) I was much more self-conscious, generally, but since all of this (and losing all of my hair - but that is another story!) I just feel that looks are what they are, you cannot change them so why be self conscious? But I know this is easier said than done and everyone is different. I just try to have a positive outlook - and to me scars are just part of your life story.

Jodie Jordan Bristol

I was play fighting with my mate on astroturf. The fight go a little rough turning into bit of a wrestling match. I ended up skidding half way across the rough ground,

leaving my shoulder with a pure flesh cut. I suppose it does knock my confidence a bit, cus you can see it when i wear t-shirts, and it just looks a bit rank.

At the awkward age of 13 I was climbing a big tree in the back garden to adjust our swing so my little brothers could reach it and play when I lost my footing and slid down the side. Unluckily one of the little branches broke and caught me on the way down cutting into the centre of my chest. Surprisingly it healed quickly, however it did leave a scar that to me as an awkward teenager seemed disgusting and ugly at first, I quickly learned to see the positive side though realising that the injuries I sustained could have been much worse.

For me, these scars are part of who I am and I wouldn’t change them now; they remind me that I was stronger than I thought. Humour and positivity has been key; I can laugh about what happened as well as about the appearance of my scars. For example; for many years my Mum called me ‘ten to five’ as my head scar resembled hands on a clock which always made me laugh. When I now look at my scars I don’t see ugly scar tissue instead I see the results of my body doing a pretty awesome job at healing some particularly nasty injuries which could have been considerably worse.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;ANY sca a story theref memo

ar tellS ry and IS fore a ory.â&#x20AC;?

INF PAG

FO GE Apart from causing physical discomfort, including pain, itchiness and tenderness, scars can also cause distressing psychological effects resulting in low selfesteem. These psychological effects often vary depending on the location of the scar, how it occurred, as well as the age and sex of the scar bearer. Studies have shown that almost 65% of women and 35% of men are self-conscious about their scars, so it affects both genders.

Twenty years ago ..I felt a deep need to itch the side of my shin. Little did I realise, I had knocked a mole. It was some weeks later, it dawned on me that this tiny scab was was not healing. (It was round about the time that moles and skin cancer research was developing). My Doctor referred me immediately to a Dermatologist Specialist at my local hospital. Doctor Fiona said, “You are dark skinned, it is highly likely, that this mole should be fine, but, we will remove it, just in case...”. The tiny mole was removed that same day, couple of stitches and 48 hours of careful rest. I carried on with my life, not at all worried. I returned to the Dermatology Department, some weeks later for my results. Doctor Fiona sat me down, and in a serious tone, informed me that the mole was in fact a ‘Melanoma’. It had measured 0.6 mm cancerous; tiny - but there; never the less. Another appointment was set up at a different hospital, with a Skin Graph Specialist, to remove the surrounding area to where the mole was originally sited. I was told that moles have long roots and they needed to investigate if the roots had burrowed into my system any further. This small operation was performed, and I had a neat line of 8 stitches, and had to take things steady on my leg for the following 6 weeks. I was told to stay totally out of the sun and it’s harmful rays. I was to always, cover up my body, wear long loose trousers, long sleeve blouse, floppy sun hat and protective glasses. I was still to apply a high factor lotion beneath my clothes for extra protection. Thus, they said, was what all people should do, regardless. ‘Factor Lotion’ - I had never used this before. I had gone through childhood without sun protection, and through

my teens, I had regular ‘sunbed’ sessions. We applied oil on our bodies in those days, in order to produce a ‘good’ tan. I had dark skin that tanned easily, just like my Dad. Folk thought that we were foreign. Factor lotion was for ‘pale skinned, fair headed’ people - that was as far as we were educated. What was I going to do now? I had become a great ‘sun worshipper’, and when the sun shone, I was out in it - often in the garden, in my bikini, sunbathing and lapping up the rays. How could I stay in doors, on beautiful hot sunny days ? - and to cover up and sit in the shade! What about my holidays abroad? I loved the sun shine! It was now, my concern grew - all those ‘what if’s and maybe’s. I clearly remember, hobbling around on my leg, still bandaged up - I was not to get it wet, to allow quicker healing. I was ‘potty training’ my stubborn 2 year old daughter at the time - one sunny afternoon in May. My family were in the garden, husband mowing the lawn, my 5 year old son playing football, and my ‘almost’ potty trained daughter, on the swing. We had just sold the pram, the baby bath, the carry cot etc. We had what we thought now, the perfect family unit - a son, a daughter, a cat, a rabbit and 2 fish! We were complete and life was becoming easier, no nappies, no bottles and not having to pack off with everything ‘just in case’ when we left the house! I had ‘sudden’, sharp stomach pains. They became stronger and stronger. The pain was out of control. Severe pain over took my body, I thought I was going to die - it left me breathless. My sister arrived and drove me to hospital. After investigations, it was found that my body showed that I was pregnant - but perhaps I was having a ‘slow’ miscarriage. If not, a huge concern that the strong pain killers they had administered to me would damage the growing baby..... Over the next week I was monitored closely by the Gynaecologist and was eventually operated on after they had done key hole camera exploratory - just beneath my navel. I then endured an emergency procedure - similar to a Caesarean section. It

was an â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;eptopicâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; pregnancy - the embryo had formed but was growing in my fallopian tube, it had burst & ruptured the tube. This could of killed me, i could of died. Again this was something I had never read upon. The Surgeons performed the procedure to remove the ruptured tube. They had to cut into the lower part of my abdomen, removed the tube and embryo, believed to have measured around 8 weeks old. I was then sewn back up again and recovered initially in hospital for 10 days. I recall having to wear tight stockings on my legs (to avoid thrombosis) after an operation - this was difficult, as they were extremely tight, as I had this fresh scar still trying to heal. I received the results for my recent leg operation, whilst on the recovery ward - showing no more cancer was found. This was absolutely fantastic news, but I was still dealing with the shock of being pregnant/shock of miscarriage/ the horrific pain and the shock news of it being an eptopic pregnancy and that I could have died and so suddenly! All of this now over rode the horrors of the malignant melanoma. So from then on, I have never worried hugely with the sun on my body. I have continued to have holidays abroad, and to enjoy the sunshine, but with care - not huge cover up care - my family and I always use factor lotion, hats and glasses, and we are sensible and careful not to burn. I have stayed under close observation with the Dermatologist Team, and over the years, I have had various moles removed - just in case... - a couple on my back, one on my stomach, and one on the back of my knee. They all proved to be non-malignant! All of these scars have slowly faded and are hard to pin point. Recently, I had a type of mole removed from my thigh area - one that I thought was becoming firm and raised. I had 5 stitches, healed up slowly but surely as they dug it out deeply, and luckily received good results again!

i could have died Julia H Miles Worcester

INF PAG

FO GE

If you have a scar on your body just take a look at it and see if it reminds you of an incident or flashback of some memories? Every scar has a story, unique and personal. It could be caused from a joyous event or even a tragic experience that you do not want to be reminded of.

it knocked m confidence a but with tim managed to my self e

my at first me i rebuild

I was only 19 when I gave birth to my son. I cried often about the change in my body, worried about my image, and was called names that made me very insecure about myself. As time passed I stopped worrying about my appearance and my mentality slowly started to change. I opened my eyes and realized how blessed I was to have such a perfect and healthy child, a gift from God. No man could ever make me feel low for having an "imperfectâ&#x20AC;? figure. This body carried my child for 9 months and brought him to this world, this body felt pain a man could never even imagine, this body did miracles. My stretch marks/caesarean scar represent pain, strength, and healing. My stretch marks tell my story.

And if I could Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d frame them.

despite my stretch marks...

At age 13 I was diagnosed with an autoimmune kidney disease called Polyarteritis Nodosa. - a complicated illness which had to be treated with high levels of cortisone, which caused the Cushingâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Syndrome. The disease left my body covered with stretch marks; arms, legs, hips, breasts - all over. But I survived! My stretch marks will always remind me that I survived and was given one more chance in life. And I want that life to be full of happiness and love - despite my stretch marks.

but i survived

i call them my love lines

I’m 23, single and apparently, don’t have kids. I got my love lines from growth spurts when I was in high school. I was petite back then and over the years while my body develops continuously, the more lines i got. I have them all over my butt, thighs, knees and even on my calves. Honestly, I really don’t like them and it really makes me insecure having them. I never get to wear bikinis because I was too shy. I was jealous of my friends who get to flaunt their bikini bods. On the bright side of things, i stumbled upon your page on Instagram and saw those pictures of brave women and that made me realise i was not alone. Seeing those pictures made me change my view about my body. All thanks to you and all those great gorgeous women. Although I haven’t totally accepted these marks, I know that it shows my body’s journey into becoming a beautiful woman. Now, i am gradually loving these lines and hopefully soon I would have the courage to flaunt it.”

I have several scars...

Some have been so small to me that they had very little impact whilst others have been more noticeable and led me to cover myself up in a bid to look ‘normal’. As I’ve gotten older the scars that used to be at the forefront of my mind when doing all the things I enjoyed the most just didn’t seem as important, over the years they have all improved from the original injuries and they have become part of me; I know that probably sounds a little bit ridiculous, but it took a while to get used to myself. Simple decisions like choosing a hairstyle, when I wanted to start wearing make-up, clothing choices were influenced by whether or not a scar would be seen; my skirts replaced with trousers/ joggers and swimming was a whole new set of challenges, as a young person growing up in society today there is a huge impact from the media even more than when I was growing up in the 90’s. I remember thinking why are all of the villains and criminals in the movies scarred and all the flawless looking people heroes? Nowadays everywhere you look, the adverts, music videos, programmes and films are filled with unrealistic images and this needs to be balanced with reality in order to help young people realise and have confidence in the fact that it is pretty amazing to be an individual. I truly believe that we are all uniquely beautiful people in our own way and each

and every person has their own story which makes us who were are; a scar is just one part of someone’s story, as my father would say “A scar is just our bodies way of reminding us that we are stronger than whatever tried to hurt us”. At the age of nine; many moons ago! I was retrieving a football from our neighbours’ field when I got caught on some barbed wire that was obscured by the tall grass, after having to literally remove the barbed wire from inside my left leg (just above the knee; I had been cut in a mirror image on the right leg but only a surface wound luckily) I went inside for help, only to send my mum into a panic when she saw the blood so was taken to hospital by my dad. Due to the depth, damage and placement of the cut it had to be surgically glued together rather than stitched. When the doctor first mentioned that it would most likely scar I didn’t realise what that would be like. It took a long time to fully heal and for many years the scar was rough and ridged, had a purple colour to it because of the glue and it covered the whole one side of my leg; this was noticed and commented on frequently so I covered it up for many years, although it is not as prominent as it once was it is the one scar that still gets comments however one little scar isn’t going to stop me being myself, enjoying going swimming etc. When I was 11 in my first term of secondary school, my sister and I were waiting to cross the road to get to the bus stop for the school bus when I passed out (unfortunately for me head-butting the front bumper of an oncoming car, although I have been told I impressively summersaulted very high indeed … I have little recollection of anything until the next day in hospital) I was extremely lucky under the circumstances escaping with a dozen stitches to my head,

broken arm and cuts and bruises, the scar that was created was red and ‘angry’ looking for a long time and very painful. My parents allowed me to get a fringe cut into my hair so it would be less noticeable when it first happened which helped a little, but it was the fact that family and close friends saw it as ‘normal’ and never reacted negatively to the scar that really prevented me from becoming too negative about the way the scars appeared. I have had a fringe on and off ever since despite the fact that it is rarely noticed anymore due to the fact that I do have to be incredibly careful when out in the sun to ensure I don’t burn as its still really painful when it gets sunburnt. At the awkward age of 13 I was climbing a big tree in the back garden to adjust our swing so my little brothers could reach it and play when I lost my footing and slid down the side. Unluckily one of the little branches broke and caught me on the way down cutting into the centre of my chest. Surprisingly it healed quickly, however it did leave a scar that to me as an awkward teenager seemed disgusting and ugly at first, I quickly learned to see the positive side though realising that the injuries I sustained could have been much worse. For me, these scars are part of who I am and I wouldn’t change them now; they remind me that I was stronger than I thought. Humour and positivity has been key; I can laugh about what happened as well as about the appearance of my scars. For example; for many years my Mum called me ‘ten to five’ as my head scar resembled hands on a clock which always made me laugh. When I now look at my scars I don’t see ugly scar tissue instead I see the results of my body doing a pretty awesome job at healing some particularly nasty injuries which could have been considerably worse.

was

extremely lucky Catherine Moreland Manchester

d e s iu m e l b o r p e r t u b g n i r a sh ee

y m p e e k o dt , f l e s y m o t s m d n u o f y l t n e ec e d a m , m e h t g e t t e b t o l a l e

â&#x20AC;&#x153;For the past two and a half years I have been fighting for my life against the beast that is breast cancer. It attempted to rob me of my sexuality , peace , not to mention my life. I get stared at when I change at

the gym, but sometimes a conversation gets started. Communication needs to be open in order to save lives. My lines are war wounds, that tell others survival happens.â&#x20AC;?

“Mine are mental scars due to bullying and a difficult childhood” I was born in Singapore in 1963, and I had milk intolerance. There were no health visitors, so my mother just kept feeding me, I would projectile vomit and she would just keep repeating until I was full and stopped crying. All my life I have had a weight problem, called names by my mother like “Michelin Man” from an advert for tyres on the TV. Put on various diets including boiled eggs and spinach and made to eat everything we were given. Even had to swallow food whole with water because it was so disgusting. My Grandmother bought me clothes that were too small and hang them in my room to try to encourage me to lose weight, even though I was only allowed to eat what I was given. My Mother did not love me and my Father beat me and shouted that I lived in constant fear. Fear that you would never believe. So when I had my paper round I used the Karen Downing Macclesfield

am still struggling with my weight, hate

my body and if

my only wish would to be slim.

could have my life again

money to buy junk food and crisps and comfort eat. Then the self-loathing started, and I hated and still hate myself. I have no self-esteem and a low confidence. I was bullied at school for being overweight, dressed in my Grannies clothes for school and had ginger hair, how was this fair. My first boyfriend was very possessive and constantly called me fat, fat, fat; I married him and altogether spent the next 17 years with him. He told me no body liked me and when the police finally removed him from our house and I divorced him, I spent the next 10 years on anti-depressants. I have four beautiful children which I am so proud of and I have been married for the second time for 16 years this year. He treats me like a Queen, but I am still struggling with my weight, hate my body and if I could have my life again my only wish would to be slim.

conf p l l u m m pu

My weight has fluctuated my whole life, so stretch marks came with the territory. Once I had my daughter they became more prominent, and my confidence plummeted. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m still working on self-esteem issues, but I am beginning to love me and my body more and more each day. We shouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be ashamed of our scars or marks. They show the world our battles and just how tough we really are.

fidence m mmete e d d m t

“I’ve had an eating disorder since I was 11. At 19, I stopped puking, I gained 35kgs. I started loving myself at that weight. Now I’m trying to really eat healthy, not too much, not too little, no puking. Sometimes I fail, Mia will always be looking over my shoulder. Yet, I finally genuinely love my body, I love my lines for showing me how courageous I can be for not giving in on my thoughts. I’m 22 now.”

“I discovered I was pregnant at 19 and had my son 5 months ago at the age of 20. I stressed over stretchmarks so much throughout my pregnancy and ended up buying anything I could to help prevent them. I lathered my belly up with lotions and jellies religiously. Clearly nothing worked. I’ve grown such a tremendous love for my lines. I love tracing each one of them as if they’re braille. A line for every ounce, a line for every breath and a line for every day I got the blessing of experiencing pregnancy. Every mark on my body was worth becoming a mother.”