WINTER 2018
LP
love Serving wit h
at Campus Care
A P ace to Ca
home
BY ROD MARSHALL, PRESIDENT/CEO
2
Lifeprints
o you remember the first time you spent the night away from your home? Was it more exciting or scary? Did you get homesick? Were you tempted to fake a stomachache at 3:00 AM to get your mom or dad to come get you? How would you have felt if you knew that no matter how homesick you were or how much your stomach hurt, your parents would not or could not come to your rescue? Do you remember the first time you spent the first of several nights away from your home? Maybe you took your first job as an adult in another city, or went to college, or joined the military. Do you remember the first time you came back to your hometown after having been gone? How would you have felt if once you had left home, you discovered that you could never go back? For many of the children in our care, their first night with us can be very scary. They may have been removed from their home for very good cause, but all they know is that they are being exposed to a new place with new rules and expectations, and on that first night, they have no idea what to expect. Our house parents and foster parents do an excellent job of making children feel welcomed. I was talking to a young lady who came into our care as a teenager. She commented how much she wanted to hate it. She wanted to hate the home, but it was pretty nice. She wanted to hate her room, but it was the biggest and nicest room she had ever had. She wanted to hate her house parents, but her house mom gently took the black garbage bag that contained all of her possessions from her hand and sat on the floor with her
and carefully and kindly folded all of her clothes and put them into the dresser and hung up her shirts and her pants. She found it hard to hate someone who was being so kind. Some kids come into our care and are with us for a very short time. Others stay with us for several months or even years. For those who graduate from high school while in our care, we try to continue to be family to them while they attend and (usually) complete college. Whether a child is placed in one of our foster homes, one of our shelter homes or one of our Campus Care homes, they have much in common. When placed, they are truly homesick, but we try to show them hospitality and grace. Our goal is that every child feel welcomed and be welcomed. Each child in our care is unique. Each comes from a different place with different experiences. But, each child will hear and see the Gospel while they are with us. Many children will get to go back home or to live with a family member. Some will be adopted. A few will remain with us until they go to college. Every child in our care (yes, even the babies) will hear the Gospel and learn about Jesus. We will sing them to sleep with “Jesus Loves Me.” We will pray for them and with them. We will plant seeds and pray for the harvest. In the following pages, you will meet some of our house parents who serve children in Campus Care, learn about the new Ensor Shelter where we will provide Shelter Care, and you’ll hear how a little girl came to know God’s great love for her. Pray for each of these homes and the children who are entrusted to our care. God bless you! Serving with Love at Campus Care
3
Bobby and Tiffany Smith, house parents at our Mobile Campus
The House Parent’s Heart:
sacrificial service in mobile
hat is it like to work on the front lines of our ministry? There are many important contributors in our day-to-day work. One of the most vital roles is that of a house parent—they go all in, in the truest sacrificial sense, keeping our mission front-of-mind to help children and families find hope and wholeness in knowing God.
night, and they were! I stayed up until 2:00 AM updating our resumé and submitted it, and Michael Smith (Chief Operations Officer, North Alabama) called us the next day . . . Two weeks later, we were in training. From the moment we walked through the doors at ABCH, we were immediately flooded with blessing.
Below you’ll get a peek into the life of Bobby and Tiffany Smith, former relief house parents from Decatur, who are now boys’ house parents on our Mobile campus.
In addition to that, here five years later, we’ve found out that I have a blood clotting disorder, making biological children pretty much impossible. We’ve thought about adoption, but here at ABCH, our hearts are always full. It makes us not miss having a child.
WHAT LED YOU TO ABCH?
TIFFANY: Bobby and I were youth ministers at a church in Decatur for three years . . . We kind of talked about being house parents when we were dating but never knew it would actually happen. One day in conversation with Bobby, I said, “Why can’t the Children’s Homes here (in Decatur) be hiring?” I got on the website that 4
Lifeprints
WHAT ARE THE BIGGEST CHALLENGES YOU FACE IN BEING A HOUSE PARENT?
BOBBY: The children we care for face emotional challenges, and sometimes have been emotionally abused. That leaves us trying to help them
put the pieces back together, and that weighs on us when we see them struggling with those pieces. You’re a parent and are trying to be the best parent you can be. Sometimes they keep you at arm’s length, but you still want to help them.
WHAT ARE YOUR MAIN GOALS IN BEING HOUSE PARENTS?
TIFFANY: To break the cycle, to be the change in the world, and to be examples of Christ to them. We have so much spiritual freedom with ABCH.
WHAT ARE THE BIGGEST JOYS YOU EXPERIENCE AS A HOUSE PARENT?
People tell me all the time that they couldn’t do what we do because of the attachment to the child, but I say, “Oh, TIFFANY: I love seeing their firsts. that is exactly why we do what we do!” Something so simple as their first I would rather get attached to them time to go to Chick-fil-A, or their first and grieve the loss of a child leaving time to see a fridge so full of food, my home knowing that they 100% their first time to pray holding hands saw the love of Christ while they were at the dinner table—those firsts they with us. To me, that’s what makes should have had as a toddler that they’re having as a 16-year-old—that’s tear-jerking. BOBBY: Kids come in and ask us, “Is this my bed?” It’s just a twin-sized bed, but they’ve never had one of their own.
T HE Y SE E W H AT T HE I R LI FE WAS L IK E B E FO R E A ND W H AT I T I S N O W . . . TH E Y H AVE A FUTUR E NOW . . .
TIFFANY: And seeing kids succeed. They’ve never had someone to push them through school, or to tell them they won’t fail. We have such closeknit relationships with their teachers and provide tutors. They see that we care for them . . . They see what their life was like before and what it is now foster care, and the ministry of ABCH, . . . They have a future now because of completely worth it. ABCH and our donors . . . because of the hands that lead this ministry. BOBBY: Being Christ-led. We get to show so many kids that hard work HAVE YOU SEEN ANY pays off, and when we’re working CHILDREN IN CARE COME with the goal of following Christ, TO KNOW CHRIST? TIFFANY: We have three girls recently we’re doubly blessed with the things who have stepped forward and made that He promises us. that decision, and one of our boys is talking to us about wanting to make TIFFANY: I always tell our donors: that decision. As we’re guiding them This is your ministry. You are the reathrough, we’re making sure they have son we are able to do what we do. We a clear understanding of the Bible are just the hands and feet of it, but and what it says, of who Christ is, and these are the fruits of your labor just what baptism is. as much as it is ours. Serving with Love at Campus Care
5
a big prayer
BY NICOLE WALKER, COMMUNICATIONS & DESIGN SPECIALIST “
an you pray for me?� These five words came from a girl who, for so long, did not realize how truly loved she was by her heavenly Father. Alexis* came into our care from a home where she was not well provided for. Her family did not have the resources to provide her with enough food and proper nutrition, although they went through great efforts to try and hide that fact. Whenever anyone came by, her family would have empty boxes of food in the cabinets to make it appear that they had enough food. In reality, they often wondered where their next meal would come from. Because she did not receive enough food and proper nutrition, Alexis looked half her age when 6
Lifeprints
she entered our Campus Care home in Dothan. Developmentally, she was at the level of a kindergartner. If you saw her, you would have thought she was five years old, although she was supposed to be in third grade. Unfortunately, this caused her to have trouble fitting in with her peers. “When she first came into our care, she definitely lacked self-confidence of any sort, which is not uncommon, given her background,” said Kim McGainey, Area Director of Southeast Alabama. “She felt like she could never do anything right.” Although Alexis had felt unwanted and unloved, Kim says things started to change the more she learned about God and His character from our Dothan house parents, Mike and Heidi Pickels, as well as from one of our relief house parents, Emily Vick. She began, for the first time, to experience the love of Christ shown through them. “Learning about God’s love for her changed her,” said Kim. Every night, Heidi would read Bible stories to the children, and they’d often talk about these stories and pray together. The more Alexis heard Heidi read from the Bible, the more she wanted to know about God. On nights when Emily tucked her in, Alexis would ask her a lot about Jesus and spiritual questions. “She started asking Emily a lot of questions over several weeks,” said Kim. “She was contemplating what it meant to accept Christ as her Savior.” One night, Alexis had such a strong desire to accept Christ as her Savior, she felt she had to do it right then and there. She and Heidi got down on their knees, and she asked her, “Can you pray for me?,” hoping Heidi could say that prayer of salvation for
her. For all the years of neglect she’d endured, little Alexis didn’t think her words would be good enough for God to hear, but surely Mrs. Heidi’s would be. Heidi gently explained that it was important that the prayers were Alexis’s own, and that God could in fact hear her. And not only that He could hear, but that He wanted to hear her say that prayer. That night, Alexis realized she was truly loved, and nothing would ever change the Father’s love for her. She went on to say a prayer and call on Jesus Christ to be her Lord and Savior. A few days after she prayed to receive Christ into her heart, Heidi and Alexis met with their pastor to talk through what this new walk with Him would look like, and Heidi shared with her relatives the decision Alexis had made. It wasn’t much longer after Alexis’s decision that she ended up leaving our care to be placed with a family member who was able to love and take care of her. “Even though it was such a short time, she grew a lot in her faith,” Kim says, “Because she had asked so many questions and really contemplated it, her decision to accept Christ was not a whim . . . It was a really big decision for her.” Though her time with us was short, it was full of purpose. To hear the hope she has in Christ and to experience wholeness through Him is one reason we trust that the Lord placed her with us, and we continue to pray she carries this truth with her as she grows! We are so grateful for house parents who sowed and watered these seeds of faith in Alexis’s life and who continue to do the same for other children in care.
*Name and photo has been changed to protect identity.
Serving with Love at Campus Care
7
Loving Our Boys
in decatur BY MICHELLE DRASHMAN GLASSFORD DIRECTOR OF COMMUNICATIONS “
ne time, we were celebrating the birthday of a sixth-grade boy who was in our home. I realize that may sound somewhat ordinary, but for him, we learned it was the first time he had blown out a candle on a birthday cake. I’ll never forget him looking at me and saying, ‘This has been the best birthday ever!’ Experiences like this is one of my favorite things about being here,” shares Decatur house mom, Dana Davidson. She and husband, Dane, have served with us as house parents in our Decatur boys’ cottage for just over ten years now, and in that time, they have seen children experience many life joys, both big and small.
HOW GOD BEGAN TO CALL THEM
“Dane worked in the student ministry in our church. Three of the students
8
Lifeprints
there lived in this cottage, and Dane just had a heart for them,” says Dana, “I remember very vividly one night at church, they were showing a video for the special offering. After we got home, Dane said to me, ‘Do you think you’d ever want to do anything or serve with the Children’s Home?’” God had started working in Dane’s heart, however, Dana wasn’t quite ready to think about a change like this.
T H EY START S EEIN G TH E Y CA N D O W H AT EV ERY B O D Y E LSE CA N . . . W H E N YOU R E M O VE H IN D R AN C E S . . .
“Our oldest son, Cage, had been diagnosed with Pervasive Developmental Disorder, which is on the autism spectrum. We had extensive therapy services for him—speech, occupaconfirmed it for me in His Word, just tional, and physical therapists would like He did with Dane.” come into our home regularly. And when they weren’t there working OBEDIENCE AND MIRACLES with him, I was. All I could think, (of “So here we are,” says Dana, “And one making this kind of move), was there of the things I share a lot with peois absolutely no way I could give Cage ple is how Cage flourished by coming what he needed and take care of so here. Dane and I both believe that many other kids. I was pretty ada- God honored our obedience to His mant in saying no, and he (Dane) call, and He healed our child. didn’t say anything more to me. He “At school, he had an Aide that came dropped it.” in and helped him a few times a week, About a year later though, it came up and at the end of his first-grade year, again. As the former house parents we had a meeting at school, and they were approaching retirement, they said he no longer needed the IEP shared with Dane their prayers for (Individualized Education Plan) he a couple who would take their place had been on to help with extra needs and felt the Lord had laid it on their he’d had! Nine years later, he plays hearts that it would be him and Dana. football and is part of the National Junior Honor Society. He has a social “He had already confirmed to me,” life. He’s a typical young man.” With says Dane, “But I told Dana ‘I won’t tears in both of their eyes, Dana mention it again until you come to shares, “Just to be able to witness me.’ I wanted to mention it, but I a miracle, has been nothing short didn’t, because I knew what God gave of amazing. Our family has been me would not sustain her.” At first, so impacted.” she was still closed off to the idea, but says, “I remember a couple days later, When Dana found out she was pregI prayed, ‘Lord, if this is what I’m sup- nant a second time, she shares that posed to do, you will have to show her first response was not excitement, but fear. She couldn’t help but think me . . . I need to know.’ Eventually, He Serving with Love at Campus Care
9
Dana and Dane Davidson, boys’ house parents at our Decatur Campus of all they’d gone through with Cage and how they were just getting to an easier place with him. But God was in control, and she was soon reminded of that truth. “I think Conley being born was a way of God showing His grace to me. I had such a special love for him, right away, and I felt God was saying to me, ‘Even though you didn’t trust my plan, and that this wasn’t a plan that you had to bring another life into the world, you can, again, trust me, and my plan.’ And we absolutely cannot imagine him not being here. The Lord definitely knows more of what we need than we do.”
LIFE WITH BOYS
When it comes to life with boys, their two biological boys and a house of 10 Lifeprints
six to eight more, it’s easy to wonder what a normal day is like! Dane says, “Well, it’s very loud, and everything is competitive,” to which Dana smiles and agrees. He adds, “We have football and baseball going on at the same time. We’re about to start basketball.” Dana says, “Anytime we have middle or high school boys, we encourage them to do extracurricular activities. We just know how good it is for them.” Also good for them, they’ve seen, is the opportunity for kids to be able to focus on the things kids typically get to focus on. Basic things that we can easily take for granted. “When you take kids who are C and D students, and all of a sudden they start making As and Bs, and they
never thought they could do that,” says Dane, “I think that’s when they start seeing they can do what everybody else can do. When you remove hindrances, the unknowns.” Dana adds, “Things like, when am I going to eat? Am I going to have clean clothes? Am I going to have a ride to school? Is my mom going to be awake when I go to school, or am I going to wake up by myself?” Dane says, “When you remove all that, and they just know, hey, all I have to do today is go to school, and do whatever I need to do there, and when I get home, I’m going to be able to eat, and I’m going to be able to play . . . With simple, minimal routines, they can thrive. Eating at about the same time, having the same expectations in the morning; these basic routines make a difference. They know all of their needs are going to be met. They’re always going to have clean clothes. They’re always going to have food.”
PERSONAL IMPACT FELT
From kids that stayed only a short time, to those who stayed for years, the Davidsons enjoy still being able to see many of their boys, now young adults. Dana says, “I have several that I can name who have really stolen a piece of my heart. I know these boys, when they were here, were shown and presented with the gospel of Jesus, and they accepted. And I’m just really thankful that that relationship (we established with them here) will be able to continue on forever, because of Jesus.” In addition to making and maintaining positive relationships with these boys is the chance to help their parents. Dana feels sure that part of her ministry on the Decatur campus is to minister to the moms. “I try to come alongside and encourage them. I can’t
imagine being sick, whether it is an addiction or a struggle with a mental health issue, or whatever reason the children have been taken away. I would want somebody to be a cheerleader for me. I feel it’s a gift God has given me; not only just taking care of their children for a season, but that I can encourage and come alongside and cheer for reunification . . . “God’s design is for families to be together, and if mom and dad are able to take care of their children, then that’s where they should be. You’re not going to have a connection with everyone, but there have been several families I’ve been able to make connections with over the years and are still in touch with.”
TREASURED TIMES
With Christmas right around the corner, it’s easy to think about family traditions, and the Davidson home has plenty of those in place for the boys in their care. Dinner at Waffle House on Christmas day, a movie on Thanksgiving, first-time beach trips, and first-time rollercoaster rides— the Davidsons treasure them all, and Dana says, “Seeing their faces in response to these times is like nothing else. It’s amazing.” But it’s not just the holidays or exciting times that stand out. The simple days on campus are often the sweetest. Forming teams for campus wiffle ball or football, watching them make their own summer slip and slide— these little things mean a lot. Dane says, “One of my favorite things is watching kids being kids, knowing where they came from, and what they used to worry about.” Dana finishes this thought, “And for them to just not have to worry.” Serving with Love at Campus Care 11
A New Home
in decatur
BY TAYLOR FUNDERBURG, COMMUNICATIONS & MARKETING COORDINATOR
“
n the roughest day of their life, they can land somewhere safe, comforting, and loving.” This is the vision Chief Operations Officer, North Alabama Dr. Michael Smith has for the Ensor Shelter Care home being built in Decatur: that children who need a secure place to stay in a transitional time would be given a safe place to call home.
WHAT IS SHELTER CARE?
Shelter Care homes are temporary 12 Lifeprints
places for children for whom there is no immediate and clear path for a safe and loving family. We see these homes as vital for many children so that those who are overseeing their safety—their families, social workers, the courts, and other leaders—can thoughtfully weigh all options without them bouncing from one home to another in the process. It minimizes the amount of transitions these children face. In the end, we want to discover the least disruptive, most nurturing placement possible for
each child.
THE PURPOSE & PLAN
hard to imagine how things can get a little hectic with a full house, and the Lees are excited for increased visibility with the new floor plan.
Over the last couple years, our Service Team* has met together to talk about what areas of the state the ministry In their current home they take in can impact the most. After doing a lot both girls and boys, so they are lookof work to grow our Family Care and ing forward to improving the experiFoster Care programs, we really saw ence for each child by making their a need to expand our Shelter Care current home a boys-only shelter, and program, not just for placements we the Ensor Shelter a home for girls only. receive from the state, but also for “We’re looking forward to providing private placements. more care and another safe place for “Currently there are only four shel- children,” Melanie says. Daniel adds, ters in the entire state of Alabama, “It can’t get here fast enough. It’s going two of which are ours. So you’ve got four shelters trying to serve 6,000+ children who are in and out of foster care. And the demand for short-term referrals are hundreds and hundreds . . . recently, just in Decatur, we took 35 referrals for Shelter Care in one day.”
ON TH E RO UG H E ST D AY OF TH E I R LI FE , T H E Y C AN LAN D SOMEWHERE S A FE , CO M FO RTI N G , A ND LO VI N G .
After looking at all of these facts, Michael pitched the idea to build another Shelter Care home in Decatur. When asked how he believes the new home will impact the community, he said, “The impact I see is more stability for children. If they’ve been removed from their home, we are minimizing the movement from placement to placement. In this immediate area, we’ll be serving children in our backyard. In the long run, although Shelter to be a life changer, helping us to do Care seems temporary, it’s really a our job. It will fill so many gaps being step towards permanency.” able to see everything—all around the house and at the playgrounds A LIFE-CHANGING PROJECT House parents Daniel and Melanie on campus. All around, it’s going to Lee will be serving this new home be awesome!” and are both ecstatic for the vision and possibilities. House parents for AN EXCITING ADDITION five years, they are most excited for In addition to the Shelter Care home, the new layout of the house to make we are excited to also build a duplex their job a little easier. At the time we for house parents to stay during their interviewed them, they were caring off-time, for college students formerly for ten children—three of their own in care to come home for weekends and seven in Shelter Care. It’s not and school breaks, and for ministry Serving with Love at Campus Care 13
groups who would need a place to stay for weekend-long serve projects. This multi-use duplex will have a three-bedroom apartment on one side and a two-bedroom apartment on the other side. Most of our house parents do not own their own home since their off-time is only 6–8 days out of the month. For the Lees, this will give them a place to go on their off-time without having to stay with family or find someplace else to stay.
WAYS TO GET INVOLVED
Would you like to get involved with this project? There a few ways to do so! PRAY. We would love for you to join us in prayer over each person who is involved with the project and especially for the children who will be served through this home. SHARE. Do you know someone who would get excited about this project? Share it with them so they can get involved! GIVE. If you are able and willing, we would love for you to join us in giving toward the project. Our goal is $1.8 million, and we need your help to reach that goal! You can learn more about this exciting project at alabamachild.org/ensor. *Our Service Team includes various ABCH leaders throughout the state, including President/CEO Rod Marshall, ABCH Foundation President and Chief Administrative Officer Dr. Chip Colee, President of Pathways Professional Counseling Ross Hickman, Chief Operations Officer, North Alabama Dr. Michael Smith, and Chief Operations Officer, South Alabama Dana Watson. 14 Lifeprints
Construction is in progress!
Leave a legacy
Because of Dr. Herman and Janie Ensor’s faithful generosity, we have been able to get a jump start on construction of our new Shelter Care home in Decatur. Through intentional steps made for effective will and estate planning, they were able to create a lasting impact for children in need for years to come.
With help from PhilanthroCorp, you can ensure that the legacy you leave behind benefits the ones you love and the causes you care about with 100% certainty. Starting with a phone interview, they will guide you though a simple process resulting in wills and estate documents that reflect your values and leave a lasting impact on loved ones and charities you hold dear. Their services are provided to you, by us, free of charge. The plan that PhilanthroCorp helps you create can then be implemented by your own personal advisor or PhilanthroCorp can refer you to an attorney that will draft documents at greatly reduced rates. To learn more, fill out the information to the right and mail it in the envelope included with this issue.
------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------
YES, I’m ready to take the next step towards building a legacy by speaking with a PhilanthroCorp representative. YES, I understand that this call is exploratory and that it can help me decide how to proceed. NAME:____________________________________ ADDRESS: __________________________________ __________________________________________ CITY:_____________STATE:_____ZIP:____________ DAYTIME PHONE:______________________________ EVENING PHONE (IF DIFFERENT): ___________________ EMAIL:_____________________________________
PAID
PERMIT #2036 BIRMINGHAM
NON-PROFIT US POSTAGE
Help Kids Here
&abroad
New this year, to help support our children and families in care, churches or individuals can host a one month, online WorldCrafts benefit. In choosing to support ABCH, WordCrafts will donate 20% of the proceeds to help those we care for. To begin the process of hosting a benefit or to learn more, you can visit worldcrafts.org/abch.
Alabama Baptist Children’s Homes & Family Ministries P.O. Box 361767 Birmingham, AL 35236-1767
WorldCrafts, a division of Woman’s Missionary Union (WMU), has a mission of developing fairtrade businesses all around the world among impoverished people. This is sought through their efforts in selling products—namely jewelry, home decor, stationery, and more—from across the globe. Their vision is to offer an income with dignity and the hope of everlasting life to every person on earth.