TD Issue 144

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Sunday, 10 - 16 November, 2019 I Issue 144 I Pages 04 I Sections 06 I Rs 30

Government too busy to get involved in governance activities: Government Spokesperson

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he PTI-led government is being severely criticised for its inability to deliver in key areas that it had promised would be fundamentally revolutionised for the better, leading to economic prosperity and a better standard of living for the common man. This was the premise of a series of questions, related to the PTI’s performance, put towards Chief Spokesperson for the government, Firdous

Ashiq Awan, at a press briefing, to which she answered that the government was too busy to get involved in governance activities. “There is a limit to which we can multitask, especially considering the team chosen for Prime Minister Imran Khan. his honesty knows no bounds, which is why I have been directed by him personally to take the nation on-board with the reality that, for the foreseeable future, governance will have to be put on the backburner to focus

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more on other key areas”, Awan explained after which she changed the direction of the mic towards Special Assistant to the Prime Minister on Accountability Shahzad Akbar. A high-ranking member of the PTI government speaking to The Dependent on condition of anonymity explained that making the government’s position on governance clear, was necessitated by a similar clarification made by another institution after insinuations had been made that they too were meddling in things out of their

constitutional purview. Samepage-ism dictates that we too

address any such slander promptly and clearly. g

Kartarpur Corridor won’t compromise our dedication to mutually assured destruction, vow india and Pakistan ISLAMABAD/NEW DELHI/KARTARPUR

Nation urged to stop condemning dharna performed by Indian agent as per his role in script

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RAWALPINDI

he funded project which has seen a sit-in inside the capital has been in the headlines ever since its trailer got released. After facing much criticism, the protest rally finally received much needed support this week, when the nation was told not to condemn it. In a message released on Twitter, the nation was informed that it should learn to think and in turn understand the context of the dharna. The dharna is neither being held where it really should be and is not

an event organised by the organisers, the nation was informed. “Pic 1. The dharna is by an Indian agent as per his role, you may watch the dharna to know the context,” the first part of the tweet read. “Pic 2. It is neither where it should be (Rwp not Islamabad) nor an event organised by us as such,” the second part of the tweet said. The tweets have sparked further debate among the intelligentsia whether the practice of dharnas itself should be completely erased altogether. however, the nation remains grateful after finally being clearly told what it needs to think about the issue under discussion. g

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he November 9 opening of the Kartarpur Corridor linking Darbar Sahib in Pakistan with Dera Baba Nanak shrine in India’s Gurdaspur district of Punjab shouldn’t be interpreted as a departure from the two countries’ dedication to mutually assured destruction, New Delhi and Islamabad vowed on Thursday. Speaking on behalf of the entire country, Punjab Chief Minister Amarinder Singh said that just because the two countries are uniting and showing love for one another through the Kartarpur Corridor doesn’t mean that nuclear war between India and Pakistan is any further than it was. “Some people think that such expressions of religious pluralism and tolerance would bring the two countries together and push away nuclear war. Let me tell you all, when it comes to India and Pakistan, nuclear war

is never off the table,” he said. Reciprocating New Delhi’s gesture Islamabad reaffirmed that it was ‘as committed as ever’ to the nuclear war, which would lead to mutually assured destruction of the two neighbouring countries. During the weekly press briefing, Foreign Office Spokesperson Dr Muhammad Faisal said that Islamabad has come up with a strategy wherein perpetual states of war and

Sh Rasheed urges nation to give him second-last chance

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he Federal Minister for Railways Sheikh Rasheed Ahmed urged the nation to give him a second-last chance in the aftermath of a horrific train accident that claimed over 70 lives. “I know I have said in the past, when I wasn’t the railways minister, that the railways minister should resign whenever there was in the most minor of mishap, but I now urge the nation to give me a chance,” said Rasheed, speaking at a press conference at the Railways ministry. “A second-last chance.”

“Look, I’m not giving this thing any time, I’m no Saad Rafiq. hell, I’m not even a Ghulam Bilour, I just have way too much on my plate, literally and figuratively,” he said. “There is going to be another horrific accident. Take this to be one of my few predictions that will turn out to be true. After that, I should be given my last chance.” “After that, I’m looking at the information portfolio because I can do a far better job than Firdous Awan,” he said. “Yes, I know, I know, that’s setting the bar really low, but I can do better there anywhere else.” g

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peace would continue to coexist between the two countries. “We’re hoping for an arrangement where we could send pilgrims to each other’s states, while simultaneously sending spies and militants to one another,” Dr Faisal said. “That would ensure that peaceful exchanges between the countries and war both coexist. The former is in the best interest of the masses, while the latter in the best interest of the rulers.” g

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E D I TO R ’S N OT E The Dependent is a completely satirical publication. The articles within are not true and meant to be taken in good humour. The Dependent is an “equal opportunity offender” and we would urge all concerned to humour our attempts at humour.

The Dependent is a completely satirical publication. The articles within are not true and are meant to be taken in good humour.


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