SPIRITUAL MENTORING
A C U G r a d u a t e S c h o o l of T h e o l o g y
first steps
“Spiritual Mentoring: First Steps Guidebook” Director of Contextual Education Dr. Brady Bryce brady.bryce@acu.edu Abilene Christian University Graduate School of Theology Office of Contextual Education ACU Box 29437 Abilene, TX 79699-9437 325-674-3733
C O N T E N T S 1. Purpose and Practice…………………....……........…4 2. Finding a Mentor……………….....…………………5 3. Mentoring Format……………….......………........…..6 4. Expectations….….…………………………….…….8 5. Covenant and Closing………………………….…...10 6. Covenant Form………………………………….…11
1 SPIRITUAL LIFE, WISDOM, COMMUNITY, MISSION You were made for relationship with God. How is that for an opening to the spiritual mentoring journey? Reading these words means you are either beginning a new process of ministry formation, or someone sees you as a worthy model. And though your formative relations with family or church may be delightful or disappointing, a mystery or far too real, you were made for relationship with God, and we cannot pursue ministry formation without relationship with others seeking God. Simply put, the GST requires you to seek a mentor to meet monthly for prayer and conversation with you as a student-minister. The mentor provides space for listening to students while attending to God, self, and others on their journey to embody virtue in life and ministry. This comes from our desire to see certain practices deepen with you—your spiritual life, wisdom for action, community with others, and partnership in God’s mission. These overarching practices frame what we do as disciples pursuing the knowledge of God. This booklet intends to help students and mentors understand mentoring expectations and guide them to the resources needed to answer common questions related to this process. Specifics such as: finding a mentor, format ideas, expectations for mentors and students, and providing feedback. Thank you for your desire to seek God through prayer and conversation in this vital mentoring experience. May God be praised for your life and this budding occasion for new relationship.
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2 FINDING A MENTOR
where to begin
Perhaps you feel unsure about this process of finding and approaching a mentor. Students, please begin praying about this. Make a list of possible individuals as they come to mind and pray for the possibility of them joining you in your ministry journey. Also, consider what you are seeking to learn about God in this relationship. If you are being sought as a mentor, then also consider this prayerfully before God. You are being recognized as a person of value in this student-minister’s life and this is worthy of prayerful consideration of your time and the needs of this student. This is a Student-Initiated process. Students select a mentor in their context who meets the qualifications below, and then the GST reviews and approves the selected mentor. Qualifications: Since this is a ministry formation program, please choose a minister. Preferably this is someone who has masters level work in ministry (MDiv, etc.) OR who has been in ministry for 10+ years. Students, choose someone you know and already appreciate and respect, or someone you are curious about. They can be somewhat of a stranger to you or to your denomination yet recognized by others. Sometimes God most uses the least known ministers around you for the greatest good. What is being asked of the mentor is to spend time with you seeking God, asking questions, and praying. The mentor need not go through an elaborate program of preparation or formation because they are bringing their lives. Your life experience and practice of ministry is what is needed. You bring strengths and weaknesses, both of which bring formative power to the relationship. Ministry from our weaknesses not only makes us real and genuine, but also provides a model for being dependent upon God’s strength, while our gifts serve as resources expended for the good of others. So it is not necessary to teach, nor develop a curriculum, nor cover a list of ministry skills. Instead, think of this as listening to the student and attending to God. -5-
There are, however, some items to attend to when entering into a mentoring relationship. A threefold focus shapes what a mentor and student need to be about. First, pay attention to God in the life of the student. Where is God showing up or seemingly absent? Second, pay attention to the student with people in their ministry context. Who are the people and what are the events that are challenging or exciting? Finally, assist the student in paying attention to their life. What are the places of strength, anxiety, or the special circumstances that need a listening ear? These three places to gaze are important for the student to identify. You are listening. Perhaps pointing to what you see in these areas: God, Contexts, and Self. Another helpful way to think about this is how are we showing: Love of God, Love of Neighbor, and Love of Self.
3 MENTORING FORMAT The precise format of the monthly meeting will be agreed upon by the mentormentee. It does need to meet the desired outcomes for the GST, which is to give the student a safe place for prayer and conversation that gives attention to God, Others, and Self. The student and mentor can create this together and should consider how it is (or is not) working at the end of each term. Here are some ideas for mentor meeting format. Any of these may be a good way to begin as a foundation for revision later.
SAMPLE ONE: FORMAT 1. Begin in Silence; Pray to God seeking and inviting God’s presence 2. Choose a Psalm to read each time 3. Conversational Prayer Questions 4. Close silently with a prayer for each member of the group 5. Silently pray for the other person while listening
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SAMPLE TWO: QUESTIONS How is your relationship with God? What are you experiencing in relation to other people in your life (ministry context, family, friends, spouse, strangers)? What are you becoming aware of about yourself? SAMPLE THREE: BRADY BRYCE’S CONVERSATIONAL PRAYER QUESTIONS For what are you thankful? How have you seen God at work? For what are you sorry? With what do you need help?
SAMPLE FOUR: CONVERSATIONS Three types of ongoing conversations may arise. While it might be easy to go to hot topics or whatever comes to mind, it is more helpful to ensure that over time students are giving space to explore these three: Calling: the questions about how one is partnering in the mission of God. Vocation becomes a more public or visible manifestation of this participation with God. Character: how is one embodying the life of the Spirit (fruit of the Spirit), and developing the virtues of those imitating Christ, and acting in open honesty? Capacity: what are the practices of good ministry, the proficiencies necessary for ministry that draws people into the life of God, and ways good ministers act? RESOURCES Keith Anderson & Randy Reese Spiritual Mentoring: A Guide for Seeking and Giving Direction (IVP, 1999). Kocher, Byasee, Howell, Mentoring for Ministry (Cascade Books, 2017). Brady Bryce Echoing the Story: Living the Art of Listening (Wipf & Stock, 2010).
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4 EXPECTATIONS OF MENTORING
Online Mentoring in the GST is for all new online students (entering after Fall 2018). Students will meet monthly with a mentor for prayer and conversation. The mentor is a minister with training and ministry practice of 10 or more years. The list below outlines the GST mentor requirement process. Mentors please do not rule yourself out, but contact the Director of Contextual Education (Brady Bryce) with questions or for clarification.
BASIC GUIDELINES CHECKLIST
Student selects a minister (with graduate ministry training or 10 plus years in ministry) Mentor applies at the following web address: https://goo.gl/forms/pzF0L5YOgioAer412 Mentor & student agree to meet 60 minutes monthly/4 times per semester (this is the minimum) Review & Follow this Spiritual Mentoring Guidebook Complete a Mentoring Covenant (page 11) Mentor completes an assessment at the end of each term at the following web address: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScjnQXu4zhKNd_XY 76GZa4MxRG6qXi4SoJ3eMsbWF2pCmWl9w/viewform Student completes an online assessment at the end of each term at the following web address: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfFJdZykL47nVueUav vDGE0Y7ryDYm-pnTKSmieb0Adhc4xeQ/viewform Students complete 4 terms of mentoring for the MACM & MAGS or 6 terms for the MDiv (this requirement begins Fall 2018 for all entering online students) -8-
WHAT MAKES FOR GREAT MENTORING
APPROACH
Take a listening approach rather than a teaching approach. This means good mentors: Invite Conversation, Ask Questions, and Suggest Alternatives.
• • • •
Listen to their life (avoid surprise, over-reaction, or shock) Focus on them (avoid being the answer person) Point them to God Help the student on their unique path COMMITMENT
Refresh your memory about the purpose of mentoring. Create a Mentor Covenant together (page 11) that is revised with each new term. Adjust and change as necessary. This helps each of you understand your responsibilities in this mentoring relationship.
TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS
There are many types of intentional interpersonal relationships. For example, here are some common relationships: Mentoring: student focused, guides rather than instructs, illustrates, is driven by student needs, and offers observation and reflection Discipling: teacher focused (multiply) Coaching: drawing out a skill Training: putting in a skill Spiritual Direction: space for the work of God Supervising: overseeing work in a field Spiritual Mentoring in the GST does not intend to provide training, coaching, discipling or even therapy. Instead, think of Spiritual Mentoring as a combination of mentoring and spiritual direction. Mentors should focus on students and on the work of God in the student’s life.
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5 COVENANT & CLOSING
Thank you for your commitment to ministry, and for intentionally and prayerfully considering this mentoring journey. You were made from relationship and for relationship, and I pray that God blesses you in the adventure of listening mentorship. On the following page you will find an example of a Mentor Covenant Form. Please copy or create a covenant that works for you and email it to the email address provided (or mail it to the mailing address provided).
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MENTORING COVENANT FORM The logistics:
1. 2. 3. 4.
We will meet monthly for 60 minutes (approximately four times per term) On this day: At this location: At this time: We agree to the following disciplines:
1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6.
Prayer: To promote spiritual health we will pray for one another regularly. Safety: To help create a safe place where people can be heard we will not offer quick answers or judgments. Sharing: To be willing to speak and to listen as a fully engaged participant. Confidentiality: To keep anything that is shared strictly confidential. Accountability: To give permission to hold one another accountable for the goals we set for ourselves. Attendance: To give priority to the mentoring meeting we will call when absent or late. Other Expectations:
1. 2. To the best of my ability, I personally commit to the purpose, logistics, disciplines and expectations of this mentoring experience. SIGNATURE: __________________________
Date: ________________
PRINT NAME: __________________________ Mentor: ______________ Return completed Covenant Forms: context@groupmail.acu.edu or ACU Box 29437 Abilene, TX 79699-9437 -11-