The Martlet - Issue 3

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WORLD

The Ebola cure is only 50 white people away

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OPINION

Is the Abingdon tie system too tight?

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TRAVEL

Myanmar: the world’s newest tourist destination uncovered

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SPORT

Can England win the cricket World Cup?

Abingdon School’s Leading Newspaper

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Heads, Hearts and Finances COVER STORY

How would you manage a possible break-up? Not the way Westminster did, argues James Beazley.

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he people of Scotland were in attendance for independence on Thursday 18th September in one of the largest referendums seen this millennium.

With no tanks, torture, or terrorism this has to be one of the most civilised attempts to escape the British in world history. Over three and a half million people, 84% of the electorate, came out to vote. But now it’s over and done with, the Scots are staying. But by no means was this a resounding victory. 45% of people disagreed and the number who backed the Yes campaign rose dramatically over the last few months. Looking back, however, this shouldn’t have been a shock. The entire No campaign was heartless, misguided, and just a touch hypocritical.

Let’s imagine Scotland and the rest of the UK as a loving relationship: a ménage à quatre if you will, which has recently had its 307th anniversary. As most of you are aware, break-ups are difficult situations. They take just the right amount of care to avoid. However, the No campaigners response to this break-up was a reaction I never expect-

ed. Any measured, caring response to a possible separation is to remind them about the good times, to crank up the Al Green, and to tell them how much they mean to you. But instead of that, the No campaigners seemed to be saying, ‘leave the UK, and you’ll never make it financially’. There was little talk of affection and yet much of economics. The debate seemed to entirely revolve around oil, taxes, and nuclear weaponry.

But maybe this is how politics works.

Maybe my upbringing on Richard Curtis films, Disney, and false hope in romance has skewed my view of how the world works. According to the No campaign, the world revolves around fortune, finances, and fiscal policy. But even if that’s so, the No campaign shouldn’t have focused on that. I say this because I’m sure I’m not alone in my romantic notions. There are others who, like me, believe in making decisions based on the heart, not the head. In fact, I would even say 1,617,989 people made that decision last Thursday. I say this because any romantic would see the No campaign as what it was - rich men in suits discussing taxes.

Which brings me on to how misguided the entire No campaign was. In the last three general elections, the Conservatives only managed to cling onto one seat north of the wall. In the election before that, back in 1997, they had none.

The Labour party have won successively in Scotland ever since my birth. I think it’s fair to remark, therefore, that the Scots are not Conservatives. In fact, the Yes campaign revolved around a want to never take orders from Westminster again.

So why on earth did the No campaign send the leader of the Conservatives, the embodiment of Westminster, to tell the Scots how to vote? It’s not like the No campaign was short of people to speak up. From Judi Dench to Patrick Stewart; from Richard Branson to David Bowie; from JK Rowling to Eddie Izzard the No campaign had a whole menagerie of trusted influential people to use as spokesmen. But no. The bumbling Tories were the clear choice to give the media attention to. You don’t overcome a Alex Salmond with a Alastair Darling because the people see two politicians discussing politics. You use anyone else,

even using Rod Stewart would have worked better because he isn’t linked to Westminster. To me, overcoming Salmond with Rod seems to make more sense.

Watching the Conservatives speak out against Scottish independence felt to me ever so slightly counter intuitive.

As we’ve discussed, a major source of votes for the Labour party comes from the Scots. With Scotland out of the picture, the Tories would have a clear path to power in every General Election. I suppose maybe that’s the reason the campaign was fought so poorly. It’s possible Westminster couldn’t express affection because there simply wasn’t any.

But what do I know? The No campaign did win, the UK is ‘united’ once more, and Westminster will harp on about fiscal policy till the Scots come home. Although the No campaign seemed to me to be focused on the wrong areas for discussion, perhaps I am wrong. Perhaps next time you’re in a break-up, you should convince them with tax, bills, and finance, not love, thrills, and romance.

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THE MARTLET WINTER ISSUE 3

Letters

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A letter from the Editors

elcome to another packed edition of The Martlet. This year, we have decided to cut down on pages, which means that we have more concise and more regular issues. We see this as a positive, as it means that we can cover breaking news much more extensively than last year.

This issue includes a comprehensive look at the major world news. The referendum on Scottish Independence receives perhaps the greatest coverage of all these, and for good reason. The UK seemed dangerously close to splitting up after a 300 year partnership, but a rather anticlimactic result shattered Salmond’s dream, and left David Cameron breathing a sigh of relief. Would it have been possible for him to hang on to his job if he had lost? Other issues that receive extensive coverage include IS and the Ebola virus. The barbarity of recent acts by IS have encouraged the UK to join an ever growing alliance committed to air strikes. Our writers focus on the growing publicity and debate whether we could have learnt the lessons of history to prevent this situation spiralling out of control. As the Ebola virus rages on in Western Africa, we investigate what is needed to develop a cure, and whether the West can contribute more.

As far as School News is concerned, we cover the ever controversial tie system and interview Miss Lusk about the new school cafe. Whilst we would fully support the advent of a new Publications tie, over the last year the system does seem to have been proliferated by slightly erroneous introductions. The cafe seems to have had a positive effect on the queue in the dining room at least, although there are still questions to be answered.

The rest of the issue is filled with excellent articles on everything from technology to humour. In terms of sport, we cover both the football and cricket World Cups. Brazil 2014 was one of the most exciting tournaments ever, and we give out awards for ‘Team of the Tournament’ and ‘Best Game’ among others.

Whilst the size of ‘The Martlet’ may have been decreased, the quality and breadth of content has definitely increased. Everyone involved has put a huge amount of effort into making this issue possible, and so we hope you enjoy reading it.

Dudley’s Dilemmas HUMOUR

Abingdon School’s unofficial mascot takes the time to respond to our most trivial of problems. By Henry Waterson Most dear client, Dear Dudley, Firstly, I would like to thank you very, very much for giving me advice on how to find my pencil, although I still have not found it and am having a hard time dealing with this.

The darkness of my life has further increased as I face more upset and oppression.

As you may have observed while on walkies with the Head, there are two ways of getting to Roysse’s Alley from the Sports Centre. The first way goes along the cold, rough, soulless concrete path, the other involves leisurely circumnavigating the shady science annex, oozing the sumptuous smell of ammonia, before strolling across the crisp, bouncy grass of Waste Court field. I have always preferred to walk on the grass, but to my deepest distress my routine has been violated by a ban imposed on my favoured route. Should I ever succumb to the temptation? If I do, members of staff yell at me aggressively with the result that I have to spend an additional thirty seconds retracing my steps, as well as losing twelve seconds by taking the proposed route!

Who has time for such nonsense at a school such as this? Certainly not I, and as a result, I’m always very late for lessons after sport because we don’t get enough time to change or to have a good chat about Pokemon afterwards. This is reeeally stressing me out, so please, please help me, I cannot resist the beckoning of the grass; I am compelled to walk upon it - just like those feet in ancient times.

It is clear to me that you are in need of immediate help. I have first hand experience of this particular dilemma, having myself been forbidden from wandering onto school grass back in my younger days. This was long before I was capable of performing complex psychological therapy on pupils or dictating letters to Mr. Dawswell using a complicated alphabet of fourlegged semaphore (developed by myself ). That said, I feel suitably qualified to tackle your ugly problem.

First of all, I think that you must consider the hazards which come with walking over extensive areas of domestic grass. Every time you take this shortcut, you risk an encounter with one of 14 varieties of venomous spider in the UK, which may result in a severe arachnidism and consequent surgery. If the spiders don’t get you, and neither do the grass snakes, adders, caterpillars, ants, horse flies, midges, mosquitoes, ticks, bees, wasps and badgers, then the discarded razor blades and hypodermic needles probably will. Furthermore, we must consider the well-being of the grass itself. It may appear crisp and healthy, but every time you place your abnormal muscle mass on top of it, the delicate grass plants are subjected to a great deal of pressure, which can, in some cases, result in a costly breakage of the primary shoot, or, if you drag your feet, tearing of the blades or even a fatal uprooting, dependent on weather conditions.

Finally, may I suggest you overcome your problem speedily: Miss Lusk has been asking me to share my bowl with a team of vicious attack dogs.

Anonymous Dudley

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THE MARTLET WINTER ISSUE 3

News

Stoptober: HEALTH

Is it enough to prevent our health epidemic?

Toby Collins wonders what it will take to win the war against ill-health

Campaigns like Stoptober claim to help people give up unhealthy lifestyles more effectively

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am sure many of you have heard about Stoptober, whether it be for smoking or drinking. If you haven’t, it is a thirty day challenge which aims to stop you from drinking or smoking throughout the month of October. You have probably heard the statistics, especially for smoking, people talking about how much easier it will be to stop if you complete the challenge or how much more control you will have.

However, is this surge in interest in leading a healthy life enough, or is it too late to fix the damage that has already been done?

Over the past few decades, the increase in campaigns to make the world a healthier place have been impossible to miss. Whether it be to increase the amount of exercise we do, to change our diet or even just to raise our awareness, these campaigns have taken numerous forms. The amount of money poured into them alone could almost pay for everyone to have a weekly healthy shopping trip. So how is it that we just keep getting worse?

One of the more popular points to concentrate on is obesity: it’s constantly in the news yet we never seem to hear of an appropriate solution. Lots of people have lots of views and with everyone

fighting their corner it’s almost impossible to make head or tail of it. In fairness, there probably are numerous causes, all of which have worked together to bring about what we have today. Most of these have already been singled out,such as a lack of exercise and with walk to school weeks and cycle to work schemes in place there is an attempt to combat this.

stretched out on a sofa watching TV. But even so I often find myself in these situations. Don’t get me wrong,I think that technology is a great thing for us, but in terms of the fight for healthy living, it is the enemy. Nowadays it is easier to chat with your friends online or play games with them instead of actually going out and doing something. There is always

The effect that something as simple as Stoptober can have on people is powerful.

But is all our concentration aimed in the wrong direction? Are we really looking at the cause of the problem? What is the difference between this generation and the ones before us?

For me it has to be technology. I am generally a very active person and definitely prefer the great outdoors to being hunched up at a computer or even

an alternative, the TV, constantly spitting out more and more things to watch or the internet, ever expanding with more to explore daily. It is impossible to escape and is the main reason that we are stuck where we are today.

Another big problem is food. The fact that unhealthy food is so easy to find and cheap to buy blows most

healthy competition out of the water, especially since cooking a proper meal takes so much longer. With the new food companies selling products that are cheap and simple to cook, a lot of people wouldn’t even bat an eyelid before buying a ready made meal over lots of different ingredients.This leads to the big problem we have today: foods like this are OK occasionally, but when they are the only things that are ever eaten, no matter how hard you try, it would be near impossible to counter their effects.

So is Stoptober enough? The simple answer is no. Even though it is a good idea, one campaign is never really going to be enough to change the direction that we are going in. On top of this, the fact that it only focuses on one thing such as drinking or smoking means that it only reaches the tip of the iceberg and concentrates on the more obvious things which are in plain sight. But, on a more positive note, the idea is exactly right and the effect that something as simple as Stoptober can have on people is powerful. Even if the only benefit it has is to give them the belief that they can make a change to their lifestyle, it can, nevertheless, start them on the path to a better life altogether.

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THE MARTLET WINTER ISSUE 3

News

The Ebola Cure is only 50 white people away WORLD NEWS

Charlie Landells explores the unwelcome truth behind an seemingly flippant remark.

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ith the death toll in West Africa continuing to rise amid a new outbreak of the Ebola virus, leading medical experts announced on Wednesday that a vaccine for the deadly disease is still at least 50 white people from being developed.”

This was the satirical quote made

by The Onion, a parody news site renowned for its sardonic writing. But, as I read this, I couldn’t help but think if there is actually some truth behind it. Granted, I never thought I’d be considering such a thing after reading The Onion, but I decided to do some research.

If you’d asked public-health experts a year ago whether an Ebola outbreak could turn into an epidemic spread across borders, they probably would have confidently told you that there was no way. People usually get so sick and die so quickly, it has little opportunity to infect a new host. Then came the 2014 outbreak and there are a few obvious features that have made this occurrence different and more virulent: the virus hit unprepared countries in West Africa that had no previous experience with Ebola, and it quickly moved to densely populated urban hotspots (as opposed to isolated, rural areas where the virus previously popped up in Central and East Africa). On top of this, Sierra Leone, Liberia, and Guinea are some of the poorest countries in Africa with fragile health systems. The three countries hardest hit this year have very weak infrastructure and little money to spend on healthcare. Less than $100 is invested per person, per year on health in most of West Africa and these countries record some of the worst maternal and child mortality rates on the planet.

International aid and public-health campaigns started too late and didn’t reach enough people.

The Ebola death toll is currently nearing 2,700 But if we did have to point the finger of blame at someone, it certainly would not be the countries involved alone. It has been widely argued that international aid and public-health campaigns started too late and didn’t reach enough people. ‘Ebola is a very preventable disease,’ said Lawrence Gostin, a health law professor at Georgetown University.

‘We’ve had over 20 previous outbreaks and we managed to contain all of them.’

But this time, the international response just wasn’t there. ‘There was no mobilisation,’ Gostin said. ‘The World Health Organization didn’t call a public health emergency until August — five months after the first international spread.’

In Uganda, as soon as an Ebola case is identified, public health officials flood all streams of media with messages about how to stay safe. People won’t leave their houses out of fear of infection, and they immediately report suspected cases to surveillance officials.

It’s one of the reasons Uganda has successfully stamped out four Ebola outbreaks, even ones that have turned up in urban areas. Had there been such

an outbreak in the United States, the reaction would have been very similar; with a lot more shouting, explosions and overall drama I expect! This would be due to the medical infrastructure picking up on such an outbreak almost immediately, causing a much more effective and widespread reaction. This, in a way, is the point I’m trying to make.

The scenario we were seeing was not one for containing an outbreak, it was one for fueling it. Had it happened in a more developed country, the vaccine may have come faster, and there would certainly have been more ‘hype’ and possible panic about it. This raises speculation about the motivations of the drugs companies themselves.

You’re probably wondering when I’m going to come back to my point made in the first paragraph, and here it is: when you look through the metaphorical cloud of the media, the death toll, WHO’s late arrival, and everything else the Daily Mail might speculate over, you finally come to the drugs companies themselves. These are the people we look to for producing the vaccines and aiding in further prevention of such outbreaks.

At the news of the outbreak, the

The powers that be simply state that the richest survive A cure for Ebola is urgently needed

reaction from the drugs companies was more of a hum than a scream. Why? Simply because it was in Africa. The money it would cost for research and development of such a drug could only dream of being paid back in a demographic such as the countries involved.

Nobody in the countries affected would be able to afford buying the medicine, and therefore the drugs companies really had no other choice but to wait and see what happened next, forming another part of the “late reaction”.

Had this outbreak happened in America, or the UK, the wealthy governments, charities and citizens would pump huge amounts of money to fund such research, and then to buy the final product. Therefore, the vaccine research would have been prioritised much sooner, and arguably finalised at a faster pace. In the short term, there was no ‘commercial opportunity’ or money to be made in Africa, compared to what there would be in a more developed country. It’s not their fault; it’s the system’s.

Ironically, by reacting slowly the companies now have a ‘fast-track’ test-bed. These people are dying either way, which gives the WHO the incentive to allow the direct testing of new drugs on them. The whole ‘rat to monkey to human’ process is blown out of the picture, dramatically reducing the funding needed to produce such drugs.

Of course, hindsight is a wonderful thing. Like many other historical scenarios, many things went wrong to cause such a situation, the drugs companies’ system being just one of them. The powers that be simply state that the richest survive, arguably the 21st Century’s version of Darwinism.

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THE MARTLET WINTER ISSUE 3

News

The Reign of Terror COMMENT

Henry Wilkinson discusses the world’s current biggest threat

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errorists thrive off publicity.

How else would we know about their horrendous and frankly idiotic crimes? Therefore, why should the western media give any publicity to these vile creatures?

In the recent weeks, the brutal beheading videos released by the so called Islamic State have caused a media frenzy. Articles left, right and centre, reeling in the absolute sickness of these acts, have been published. But why are they being published? Why should we acknowledge this group of barbaric neanderthal-like creatures at all?

Terrorism is about influencing others to show that a certain group is being oppressed or to try and alter other people’s opinions. Therefore publicity is vital, because you need people to hear ‘your cry’, otherwise your campaign becomes frivolous. So I ask: why are we giving publicity to these people, surely we are just helping them achieve their aim?

‘IS and IDF: A coherent foreign policy?’, asks Jack Dawson

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ith the Islamic State (IS) continuing to dominate our news, calls for the Prime Minister to tackle the threat have been widespread and relentless as we shudder at the atrocities com-

This over-publicity of terrorist acts has been shown to have horrible effects within the last few months alone, due to the obsession of publishing links to these rallying cries from Islamic Jihadis. These rallying cries haven’t only managed to reach millions, they have also managed to inspire hundreds of people to go fight for these causes, so much so that a travelling Briton has ended up violently beheading an American journalist. All in the name of the “cause”. No “cause” is worth violently beheading an innocent journalist, someone who is vital to publicising the terrorists own ideals, an unfortunate irony.

I understand that it is not easy to refrain from reacting to these inhumane acts. All I can do is plead that we do not publicise these acts, because I promise the less attention we pay to the Islamic State, the less they can thrive. As the words of a timeless phrase teach us, ignore the bullies because they thrive off confrontation. I am myself guilty of giving attention to the bully by writing this, but I only do it as a way of stopping others publicising this disgusting group of cretins.

mitted by our fellow Brits. Yet have we overlooked the other force that Britons are routinely signing up for? And what makes them so different from the British IS fighters who we look to penalise?

Farooq Siddiqui, a former senior government adviser who tackled radicalism and extremism, puts forward a controversial (yet seemingly legitimate) point highlighting the hypocrisy in the government’s foreign policy

James Foley was sadly beheaded on August 19, 2014 by terrorist group IS This brings me to another gripe, namely that we shouldn’t attack IS. I appreciate the fact that what these groups are doing is shocking, but confronting them is only going to aggravate them and spur them on to extra violence against innocent bystanders to make their point and to make people listen. If they are attacked their cause is only going to be more known about, and this will

only encourage more disillusioned westerners to join a cause so low that not even Satan would stoop to it.

In the light of even more disgusting acts committed by these foul creatures, I can only emphasise the need to not publicise these heinous crimes, but merely ignore them because we cannot rise to them. We have to stay composed in the face of these devil possessed creatures.

between the British IS volunteers and the British citizens who are currently fighting for the Israeli Defence Force (IDF) in Gaza. Siddqui underlined the fact that ‘Britons were free to join the Israeli Defence Force and return to the UK without censure, while those taking up arms against what they viewed as a tyrannical dictator, Assad, faced arrest.’

The Israeli Defence Force has released information stating that roughly 100 Britons are fighting for them against Gaza. Whilst this is not on the same level as the 500 Britons who are currently fighting for IS, this is nevertheless not an issue that can be merely swept aside. Amnesty International has already noted the brutal “collective punishment” that Britons carry out against Palestinians during their service in the IDF. This “collective punishment” seems chillingly similar to the beheadings and public attacks committed by IS - where those who oppose the system are disposed of. However, whilst both are violating the fourth Geneva Convention, we only hear about and are prepared to tackle one of the two - IS. I recognise that there are obvious differences but I still think that this is a

very interesting point. Recently, David Cameron commented on Israel’s deliberate targeting of Palestinian citizens as ‘wrong and illegal.’ With regards to IS’ recent killing of American journalist James Foley, he described the killing as ‘shocking and depraved.’ Whilst his latter comment has slightly more zeal, the two comments still strike me as saying the same thing. Funnily enough, some of the public have also noted the Britons who are fighting for the IDF and have created a petition titled: ‘British citizens who fight in the Israeli army to face criminal prosecution on their return to UK.’ This petition currently holds 13,365 signatures - far more than its IS counterpart that demands similar terms yet only holds 7,513.

The question is: if Britain plans to arrest British citizens participating in one conflict then surely they are obliged to arrest British citizens participating in the other? It’s an interesting, yet undeniably controversial argument that has many different layers to it but I urge you to look into both sides and make your own mind up. After all, in this day and age, is an incoherent foreign policy a weak foreign policy, or a realistic one?

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THE MARTLET WINTER ISSUE 3

School

Time to Untie the Tie System COMMENT

Blake Jones reviews the well-loved system

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ies: a symbolic noose around our necks, or a garment of pride? Do ties tie the final knot in creating divides? With currently over forty ties and a possible publications tie on the way, we take a second look at the well-loved system.

The main issue with school ties is that they only reward certain achievements, yet there are plenty of people without a special tie even though they have achieved something. Of course, it is not possible to have a special garment for every eventually, but we have reached the point at which we lose the balance.

Surely we should be able to cope with not having our own special tie? In School Council, it was even requested that special blazers could be given to triumphant pupils, since rowers receive their own special blazers. This shows that there can be agitation at Abingdon when pupils are rewarded in unique ways not shared with others. To further reduce the minority of ‘standard tie’ wearers, the assortment of ties recognising other achievements will further increase.

One option is simply to accept the system and that we may eventually have an endless choice of ties. The very smallest of successes would be recognised with one and it would be impossible to not wear such a tie.

However, I quote Syndrome in The Incredibles: ‘When everyone’s super - no one will be’. In this way, our ties will mean nothing and there will be no point in having the system, because if everyone has their own unique tie, having one will not recognise true success. This issue would support a return to the old system in order to recognise only more significant contributions.

Ties can potentially form the basis for cliques at school. Of course, at Abing-

As disgusting as the scholar’s tie looks, the design is a tradition.

Just a few of the many ties available to Abingdon students don we shouldn’t have extreme cases of ‘t-birds’ jackets or groups who all wear pink on Wednesday, for example. Nevertheless, pupils may be labelled as ‘the rowers’ or ‘the debaters’. In summary, the divides which different pastimes can sometimes cause might be widened by ties identifying a pupil as property of one group or another.

Not unlike hotels, private schools are good at compelling you to pay much more than you might want to; the cost is ramped up with enforced music lessons, rampant inflation on bacon sandwiches and also, of course, ties. As part of our school uniform we need a tie, and that’s great. But when there are more and more ties on offer and some societies are actually requiring you to buy them, you are forced down a slippery slope of acquiring ties you rarely wear. Some ties are given to you but in some cases you simply cannot avoid buying one once you have reached the necessary level to earn one; the natural conclusion to your campaign of toil and effort. With fewer ties available or no special ties at all, unloved ties would reduce in number.

In addition, the distribution and type of ties is not even. Some sports have a personalized tie but Music, Drama and

Art all share the same old half colours and colours ties; ties which are also available to sportsmen and members of many other societies.

It is also a significant challenge to earn ties for anything other than sport.

Whilst some sports award a tie after three fixtures, it generally takes several years to reach half colours for music, drama or art. It is unfair to favour certain activities over others and ties are a very visible expression of favouritism.

In contrast, the tie network as a reward system does have its good points.

Once a pupil is out of Lower School, he no longer really cares about whether he receives a commendation or not. Ties, however, are a significant and desirable reward. Though I think it is a disaster if people start participating in activities ‘for the tie’, a bit of extra encouragement to come in on a Saturday can be good.

The tie system is simply a more mature version of the commendation system.

Ties also help to perpetuate the traditions of the School. Like cerise, our numerous ties are indispensable as a school icon. For example, our debating. society dates back to 1904. Marking its continued presence at the School with a tie pays homage to it nicely. As disgusting

as the scholars’ tie looks, the design is a tradition so that, hundreds of years from now, Abingdon boys will still be able to comment on its resemblance to cat sick.

Ties are an important part of our traditions.

It is understandable that some achievements are recognized above others. Clearly academic achievement should be rewarded above all else in a school, but everyone goes to lessons and we do all (mostly) work towards academic success. Similarly, when there are some sports which ask pupils to come in every weekend, it is understandable that sports players should receive ties in this way. This extra commitment may mean it is fair for certain activities to be prioritised.

All things considered, the Abingdon School tie collection is a much-loved and pleasing component of school life. It creates a reward system which provides a lasting reward rather than an awkward moment in front of your house. Unavoidably there will be the unfortunate few who just miss out on praise when, perhaps, they are deserving, and some cliques are already in place but ties alone are not to blame, and sometimes it’s okay to pay a bit extra for the sake of tradition.

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THE MARTLET WINTER ISSUE 3

School

Abingdon Café: the Grilling INTERVIEW

After nearly four years of planning, Abingdon has a café. Blake Jones caught up and grilled the Head about creating the new café

We considered franchising out to Costa, but then I felt that I did not want to be feathering some a big corporate nest.

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he new school café has finally arrived. It has been the pet project of the Head for many years and will resolve the concerns of the pupil body about the lack of food.

We find out about the different ways the café could have gone and what we should look forward to in the future?

What would you like the school to know about the café?

Well first of all that it’s there. I think people know that by now. It’s been a little pet project of mine ever since I came here. The fact that it’s now finally here is thrilling, so I want them to feel that they can use it and enjoy it, which is what it’s there for. I just wanted there to be something for the boys, which is their own space in a civilised place where they can have a nice cake and I think it’s fantastic.

What made you think that a café was what the school needed?

Because we didn’t have a café. I’ve been concerned about the provision for the sixth formers for the whole time I’ve

We’d have to make sure it’s like Costa where you have to go for twelve years to get a free coffee.

been here. I’ve wanted to do something for the whole of the sixth form facilities.

We need a new sixth form centre, which is on the list as well, so this is a nice half way step. The six formers had nowhere where they can make a cup of tea or coffee, or anything like that, and so that’s where I came in. I then thought we could open it up to the whole school community, so people can come in on Saturday when the sports is on and use it. We can use it for events with the Amey theatre and we’ve also got the garden.

We’ve tidied up the back of the theatre so all in all it’s a lovely space. And an excellent use of a terribly old building.

How long have you been working on the café?

In my head, since the day I walked in here. It’s been about 4 years. It was on the agenda as something we were going to do about two and a half years ago, but it kept getting pushed back. We kept getting the cost wrong and we started off with something which was way too expensive.

Then I just felt we could spend a bit of money and do something really nice with

that space and we would still get what we want. We also considered franchising out to Costa, but then I felt that I did not want to be feathering some a big corporate nest. I would rather it was kept inside.

For the people who are working in there, it’s been a bit of a promotion. For Leslie it’s become her own little empire. It’s very much within the family still, since it is done by Sodexo who run the rest of the catering. We have a really good pastry chef, so it’s as good as anything you get anywhere else.

Can we hope for breakfasts in the morning?

Another good question, I hadn’t thought of that, that’s a really good idea. It might be difficult to cook breakfast there since we are quite limited. It’s something we can think about, but it could be a difficult operation.

Are loyalty cards a possibility?

Maybe, we’d have to make sure it’s like Costa where you have to go for twelve years to get a free coffee. We do have to make sure we break even, but we’ll see.

That could happen in the future.

How do you see the café evolving in the future?

I don’t see it change for now. I suppose it might move into new premises in the future, if we finally rip that building down. There will always be a café for the boys. Once those things are established you really have to kept them going. I don’t really know, I’m just so pleased we’ve got it. I’m kind of on to the next project in my mind now. The main reason I wanted a café is because I couldn’t stand the back of that building and they still haven’t painted that. Therefore I didn’t actually get what I wanted. It is looking very good inside with the furniture. It works well with an American diner style of furniture, which is being looked after well. It might need to get bigger over time.

What can we hope for in the future?

I would really like to do something about the sixth form facilities. I’d quite like to get the lower school out of the bottom of that building and turn all of that area into archive and display and exhibition and library resources. These are all just ideas in my head but they’ve been there for a while, we talk a lot about what we are going to do in the future.

STUDENT OPINIONS We then asked the rest of the school how they felt about the café. Their favourite things about the café were varied. ‘The long open hours are great, so I can get cake if I didn’t like the lunch desert,’ said a first year. ‘I really like the shortening of queues,’ came from a third year. We asked a fifth year who said, ‘the furniture is fantastic with the blend of styles from a retro 60’s diner to a Parisian café.’ Finally a sixth fromer said, ‘I don’t really like the café, but the fact that Radley has a café and now we have one is good, so they no longer have a one up against us.’

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THE MARTLET WINTER ISSUE 3

Opinion

9M-MRO, the aircraft believed to be the long-lost MH370 The wreckage of MH17 lies on the soil of Donetsk, Ukraine

WORLD ISSUES

The Conspiracy of Malaysia Airlines What really happened to Malaysia Airlines’ two downed planes? Pawin “Pea” Sermsuk investigates.

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ever before in history has an airline encountered such catastrophic misfortune. After 41 years in service, Malaysia Airlines hit their most turbulent year yet. Within 131 days, the airline lost two multi-million Boeing 777 aircrafts, along with 537 passengers and crew. Flight 370 disappeared in an unknown location on the 8th March with 239 people aboard, leaving little evidence behind; no debris from the plane has been found. Flight 17 crashed near Donetsk in eastern Ukraine on 17 July with 298 passengers and crew, after it was believed to have been hit with a surface-to-air missile.

Flight 370 was a scheduled flight bound for Beijing from Kuala Lumpur.

Thirty eight minutes after departure, the plane lost contact with air traffic control. Six hours later the airline pronounced the flight missing. Various unofficial theories have been proposed to explain the cause of the disappearance of flight MH370. The disappearance remains unexplained and is under investigation. Many critics and experts have questioned several aspects of the Malaysian government’s statements.

Some critics claim that the official statement that the plane crashed into the Indian Ocean makes no sense. They note that a Boeing 777 does not have the structural integrity to survive crashing into the ocean, and that it would be like hitting a cement wall at terminal velocity. If Flight 370 hit the ocean, they say, it would have been broken into tens of thousands of pieces, many of which float on water and would be witnessed wash-

ing up on regional shores or easily spotted by search teams. Also, the possibility of a simple hijacking has been brought up by various news outlets, including ABC News and the Los Angeles Times.

Speculation has mounted about the possibility of a remote island that the hijackers took the plane to, although no group has stepped forward to confirm that it was them. However, unofficial researchers have identified more than

9M-MRD, last known as MH17, crashed in Ukraine

of Donetsk in eastern Ukraine. The crash claimed 298 lives, resulting in the deadliest air incident in Ukraine, and the deadliest airplane shoot-down in history. The cause of the crash has not yet been determined by the official investigation, which is being carried out by the Dutch Safety Board. Both US and Ukrainian officials declared that a surface-to-air missile strike is the most likely cause, and if so, then the missile

The airline lost £58.7m in the second quarter, combining with the £84.5m lost amid MH370.

600 possible runways at which the plane was capable of landing. Other conspiracies have emerged such as cockpit or landing gear fire, shoot-down theory or cyberattack. Some critics also believed in alien abduction, or even that Pitbull and Shakira’s song Get It Started displays prior knowledge of Flight 370’s disappearance!

In the late afternoon on July 17, Malaysia Airlines Flight 17, a scheduled flight from Amsterdam Schiphol en route to Kuala Lumpur, fell 33,000 feet from the sky, and crashed into the soil

was fired from a mobile Soviet-designed Buk missile system, as this is the only surface-to-air missile system in the region capable of reaching the altitude of commercial air traffic. A team of investigators at the Dutch Safety Board released a preliminary report into the incident on 9 September 2014, saying the plane split up in mid-flight probably due to impacts by high energy objects causing structural damage. According to the Dutch Safety Board, it will take a year to complete a full investigation.

As a result of the two incidents, crit-

ics raised the biggest conspiracy of all; could MH370 and MH17 be the same plane? Critics at parhlo.com came up with 8 reasons. Firstly, both the plane is the same model, both of them are B777200ERs. Also, according to the photo at the crash site, the crashed plane in Donetsk had a different window configuration than the one on 9M-MRD, the plane on flight MH17, but it matches the configuration on 9M-MRO, the plane on flight MH370. The critics added that the rebel leader in Ukraine described the MH17 victims as rotten corpses drained of blood. They believed that the bodies were rotten and dead days before the crash. All of these evidence suggests that the crashed plane in Donetsk is the long lost MH370, though none of this has been confirmed to be true.

The two incidents have been a lesson to the world. The airline lost 307m MYR (£58.7m) in the second quarter of the year, combining with the 443m MYR (£84.5m) lost amid the impact of MH370.

It is now being nationalised through the investment firm Khazanah Nasional. A restructuring announcement from the company was released earlier in September. The plan is to cut 6,000 jobs, around a third of the workforce, as it struggles to overcome the twin disasters that hit it this year. The airline’s spokesman said “The announcement is all about rebuilding the airline after these two awful incidents. The airline is being reshaped and the aim is to return it to profitability.” Though the airline may recover from the financial impact, its two catastrophes will never be forgotten.

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THE MARTLET WINTER ISSUE 3

Opinion SOCIETY

The Remaining Opposition to Gay Marriage Gay marriage may have been legalised in the UK, but, argues Patrick Cole, the battle is far from over.

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t midnight on the 13th of March 2014, gay marriage became legal in the UK, making it the seventy-second country or state to legalize the same.

I intend to run through the main arguments against gay marriage. I am entirely for gay marriage as I believe that it is a sign of sexual equality and marks an end to the persecution that has been directed towards homosexuals for centuries.

It is interesting to think about where this homophobia came from given that in ancient Greek society such relations were allowed to a point. The eromanos-erastes relationship that took place between a young adolescent boy and a grown man was considered a normal and healthy stage in a boy’s development.

However, it was also considered odd for this relationship to continue out of adolescence.

In Rome, men were free to enjoy relationships with other men without any loss of status or masculinity (provided they were the ‘man’ in the relationship), and there were multiple sources indicating that Emperor Nero had at least two public marriages to men (supposedly acting as the bride in one). It was not until the rise of Christianity that there began to be prosecutions for homosexuality: at first only ‘death by sword’ for ‘man coupling like a woman’ which means that at least the punishment fitted the crime! At this point all this meant was that Roman ideals were being more strictly enforced, but later, under Justinian in the 6th century, all same-sex acts were punishable by death as they were claimed ‘against-nature’.

Thus we can see that homophobia has not always been present but instead came about in the last 1400 years. Its origins in Christianity nudges towards the first and most poignant of the arguments against gay marriage: that if Christianity has always been against homosexuality, it must be wrong to ask priests to give a homosexual a Christian wedding.

However, it is arguably no longer the case that Christianity and homophobia are so intrinsically linked. Rather, the fact the idea is so ingrained in society makes it impossible for the church to shake this association; despite the fact that is no longer the view of many modern Christians.

Looking at it this way, it seems to

make sense to allow the individual priest to choose for himself whether or not to perform the ceremony for a same-sex couple, as is the case. This eliminates the core of the Christian church as the main opposition to same-sex marriages, as is the common delusion.

So, to find what is keeping the homophobic link to the church alive, we must look to the usual vocal minorities, the extremists. When thinking of religious extremists of the Christian variety, especially when it comes to this particularly sensitive subject, I thought of everyone’s favorite Third-Year-Religious-Studies-Controversy: The Westboro Baptist Church.

In my pursuit of enlightenment as to why in this accepting age, same-sex relations were still met with resistance and hostility, I decided to look at the aforementioned group’s website, which, as it turns out, has a URL so atrocious that I refuse to quote it in this article. Here’s what I found under their ‘explanation’

facing. Extreme religious groups aren’t the only people against gay marriage however; one jaw-droppingly surprising front in the resistance is among gay people themselves.

On my voyage of the interwebs, I found one particular blog which appears to have gained a small following. Written by a homosexual, the blog is entirely devoted to why he doesn’t just oppose gay marriage, but why he opposes gay

Support for gay marriage among Americans has risen above 50%.

for their policy on the matter; a statement so utterly archaic and small-minded it made me genuinely flush with anger: ‘The only lawful sexual connection is the marriage bed. All other sex activity is whoremongery and adultery... [and homosexuals] are worthy of death for their vile sex practices.’

This more than indicates where the root of this problem lies, because, although this particular group is about as popular as their ideals, these people are still out there, campaigning and spewing profanities while no one can stop them without impairing their (misused) freedom of speech.

These are but one, admittedly extreme, example of the problem we are

marriage as a homosexual.

‘I don’t understand the reasoning behind the suggestion that civil unions or some other marriage equivalent, with all the benefits of traditional legal marriage, are somehow not good enough.’

He argues that it doesn’t make sense for gays to be fawning over ‘baroque sacraments’ when civil unions are just as good and different, why not be equal but different? Why instead try to ‘mimic heterosexuals’? Describing marriage as, ‘oppressive and frilly’ he believes that it is an unnecessary goal for the LGBT front. He is not alone in this view.

As Tom Geoghegan for BBC News puts it: ‘Support for gay marriage among Americans in general has risen above

50% according to Gallup, but what the figure is among gay people is harder to quantify. Neither Pew Research Center nor Gallup has conducted any such polling.’

But it’s not all doom and gloom, there have been multiple parodies of anti-gay marriage campaigns posted online which have been widely viewed and express the more extreme worries of what will happen if. The latest of these has been the Irish video (gay marriage is Banned in Ireland) ArmaGAYddon; made and funded by LGBT noise, the Irish prosame-sex union group. This campaign video ridicules the idea that everything will change if gay marriage is legalized.

Three minutes long, the video features a straight couple hiding in their house to avoid the changes, with the son in a box with no other entertainment than, what I can only assume is akin to ‘page 3’.

There have been 1400 gay marriages in Britain since the legalization last year, and the number is still rising. These were 56% female and 44% male unions. One of the most beautiful stories is of one 90 and 91 year old lesbian couple who have finally tied the knot after waiting 72 years for gay marriage to be legalized in their local area of Iowa.

While I personally reject these anti-gay marriage views, the point still stands that there is a large amount of opposition to the cause of same-sex marriage and until this opposition is quenched, there cannot be a truly equal society. For while you may not want to have a traditional wedding, an important principle is at stake just as there was when blacks and whites could not marry.

Now, that sounds just as close-minded, racist and absurd as hopefully the idea of same-sex marriages being illegal will sound in 100 years.

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THE MARTLET WINTER ISSUE 3

Culture

A consumer will gaze through these lenses putting them right wherever they want to go

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magine being immersed into a whole new dimension. A dimension where you could see or do anything you want. Ten years ago this distant dream would have been assumed to be impossible, but the technology is available right now, as Dan Alcock finds out.

A whole new future of entertainment is coming; the biggest revelation since the creation of the television. Virtual reality (VR) is an exciting new prospect that might be in everyone’s living rooms sooner than you think.

Since the 1960s the idea of VR has been toyed with: from simulations for air pilots and astronauts to gaming.

The first true retail device using this technology was the failure that was the Virtual Boy. A 3D console was released in 1995, but it was essentially a pair of binoculars that came with a controller.

However it caused severe discomfort to many including symptoms ranging from nausea and dizziness to migraines.

Since then, no commercial company has really tried to harness the technology, however, it has always been used for elsewhere. The military use VR headsets for simulations, such as a parachute trainer. This lack of development in the field of VR lasted for around 15 years until a man named Palmer Luckey founded a company called Oculus. He had a vision to create an all new inexpensive and comfortable headset that harnessed the ability to truly immerse those who use it. Originally, his idea was to directly aim this product at those who wanted to play videogames with it but, since the release of the first development kit, it has been proven useful for other.

Luckey posted a campaign on the popular fundraising site ‘Kickstarter.’

This, as many will know, was a huge

A Virtual World TECH

Dan Alcock investigates the latest developments in virtual reality. success and since then has had a wildly popular and widely reported development cycle. One big news story that occurred earlier this year was Facebook’s purchase of Oculus Rift for the sum of $2bn showing how much the masterminds of Facebook believed in this small company and their new idea. As well as this, other companies have seen the potential and huge following that VR has received, so the technology is rapidly being adopted by huge corporations.

In March, Sony officially announced their take on a VR headset, currently called Project Morpheus.

Whilst it had been rumoured that many major tech companies such as Sony, Microsoft and Samsung would compete against the Oculus Rift with their own product, this was the first confirmation that consumers will soon be able to enter a whole new world at

home. Google announced their own brand of VR headsets earlier this year and, of course, they did so in unique way branding their VR Cardboard Toolkit or ‘Google Cardboard’ for just $3. All you need is a bit of cardboard and some lenses. Then you shape it into the a model that resembles a headset, put in the lenses and you’re done! It’s compatible with virtually any phone! Or you could just buy one pre-made.

The Samsung Gear VR was also announced earlier this year and is being built in partnership with Oculus, and lets you be immersed in virtual reality simply with a Samsung smartphone, meaning you can watch movies or TV shows from it or you could just post a tweet with it on. This was the first true VR headset that was not primarily aimed at gaming.

So why do I truly believe this is the

The idea of VR has been toyed with since the 1960s.

future of not just gaming, but for entertainment in general? Well Google’s and Samsung’s contributions to this area of technology signify how one day many tech companies will go in this direction.

The potential is enormous: demos have been released showing a VR headset used to simulate being inside a cinema and watching a film; you could be part of a television series and see everything in first person; you could explore a user created world and interact with people of all sorts of nationalities. All this could be done from the comfort of your home.

Not only that but the devices could be incredibly useful for scientific practice and simulation, such as for doctors to practise surgery safely. In fact, the power of VR can help people with a range of disabilities, especially the elderly.

It allows Doctors to assess the patient by putting them through specially designed tasks whilst using a Virtual Reality headset. This means certain programs could improve the balance and mindset of people with certain disabilities without them having to do the physical activity and exercise some are unable to do.

The Oculus Rift is aiming for a release date of Summer 2015 at which point anyone will be able to buy it whilst the second development kit can be bought for $350 right now. No one knows when the Morpheus will come but it is expected to have a full retail release around 2015/16, for a similar if not better price.

After this, it is inevitable that Microsoft will announce and release their VR product. So perhaps this time next year we will all begin to see this revolution in hardware, and it could help us advance greatly in medical practice, in scientific simulations, and take you to place that you’ve never been before.

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Culture TECH

Can You Save the Planet With A Phone?

Are mobile phones an environmental curse or cure? Sam Chambers explores the green credentials of the next generation of mobile phones.

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n an age of tech moving at a lightning speed and the fickle planet struggling to follow, we are becoming increasingly careless and creating millions of tonnes of waste, especially electronic waste. A significant proportion of this waste is mobile phones. Many millions of people will keep a phone for a very short time and throw away their handset as soon as a more up-to-date model comes out or theirs starts to slow down. Part of this reason is that it is most profitable for a company to release lower quality models of a product annually rather than making it the best they can.

Then, Dave Hakkens in Holland came up with an idea: Phonebloks. One day, his camera broke; he took it apart and identified the problem which was the lens motor being broken while everything else being fine. He then took the phone to the manufacturer who said it would not be worth his while replacing the lens motor when he could simply buy a new camera. Hakken was shocked by the waste and this gave him the idea for the phone.

Hakkens posted an initial idea for Phonebloks on youtube. The post got 1 million views within 24 hours and has since attracted a lot of attention around

the world. The main aims of the phone are to reduce electronic waste and to make a smartphone for everyone. Its main advantage is that each part is replaceable and movable, so you can change the phone to suit your desires: whether it’s for a great camera, a fast processor or whether you want a physical keyboard or not. The parts can also be upgraded without having to throw

response on social media was great.

Phonebloks started courting various companies to try and get funding and support. After talking to many companies, it found out that Motorola had been doing a similar development, named project Ara. Motorola was also backed by Google who could provide support and funding to both parties.

However Phonebloks made the point

The main aims of the phone are to reduce electronic waste and to make a smartphone for everyone. away the entire phone. It’s a great idea and one that should definately be made a reality. However, there are some tradeoffs. One is that in order to accommodate all the interchangeable parts, the phone does have to be thicker and more square than most phones these days.

Although there were some possible negatives aspects of the idea, the initial

that while they would help each other, they would still have a certain degree of separation. The difference between the two is noticeable. Phonebloks relies on a system where all the parts are placed on a central board using pins that secure the parts in place but the Project Ara prototype works by using sliding components on the rear that are secured

by a magnetic system. In January 2014 Motorola was sold to Lenovo, but Project Ara remains property of Google and so development has not been stopped within either party.

The question now is whether either of these revolutionary products can actually challenge the giants of the phone market such as Samsung or Apple. Certainly not for a few years at least because of the fact that the phones are still in the prototype phase. They haven’t been tested and production hasn’t started.

Neither of the phones will be available until realistically about 2016 onwards as Project Ara still has another year before a final design is decided.

Many people might not want to buy the products due to certain trade offs, such as increased thickness and weight.

Simply the effort of having to change the parts themselves may not appeal to everyone. However, it is likely the phones will be sold in kits rather than people having to buy every individual part to reduce the hassle, but that’s still a long way away.

Overall, these products will drastically change, not just the mobile phone market, but the whole technology market. If it can be done with a phone, then why not a tablet, or a laptop?

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Culture FILM

Film review:

X-Men: Days of Future Past

The entire X-Men film cast assemble for the new film

Nick Harris looks back at X-Men’s turbulent past and asks what the future holds for this lucrative franchise.

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he most recent ‘installment’ of the X-Men franchise was lauded by critics and widely respected by fans. But beyond how good a film it was, you can also recognise the intelligence of 20th Century Fox in having ensured their coffers will be filled for years to come. The first three of the X-Men films were pretty mediocre as superhero film series go. They started out pretty well, like most do, and got worse and worse as more and more films came out. But in particular, X-Men: Last Stand stood out as being particularly awful, as it managed to upset everyone from comic book fans (although that’s not difficult) to the average cinema-goer.

After this, a hiatus of three years followed until the equally un-stimulating X-Men Origins: Wolverine came out and disappointed fans across the world once again. I am supposing that after

Time may be running out to get an original series re-boot moving. this, 20th Century Fox had a long think and decided that the current series was failing rapidly and that some serious action had to be taken before the rights that were bought at great expense from Marvel proved redundant.

X-Men First Class was the answer and certainly did the job, turning the franchise into something that people wanted to see again. The new cast who did a brilliant job of performing the original characters backstories were also highly praised. But perhaps the film did too well. For at this point 20th Century Fox decided to cash in on the surprising boost in popularity and create something

that served both goals of continuing the winning series started by First Class and re-booting the original.

X-Men: Days of Future Past came out in 2014 and was an instant hit with critics and the box office. Its story and acting were all praised to the highest level and it is the most highly rated X-Men to date.

But the real accomplishment of this film was to restart the original series whilst continuing the new one. Although the film did suffer slightly from lack of character depth by not focusing on any one of them enough as it was switching from past to future so much, overall it was well balanced. But the question is how will

they approach the next films?

Two X-Men films corresponding to the current series are in the works at the moment: X-Men: Apocalypse, which is said to be more of a First Class sequel than part of the newborn series, (although original cast members are set to appear) and a sequel to the Wolverine.

Neither of these directly continue the first trilogy of X-Men films and, with an ageing cast in Patrick Stewart and Ian Mckellan, time may be running out to get an original series re-boot moving.

Considering that the Wolverine sequel has been announced for a release date of March 2017 any original trilogy continuation would have to come out at least a year later than that.

I think this is the worry: that even with the good set-up by Days of Future Past, it may just not be possible to get a continuation of the original trilogy rolling. But maybe an announcement is just around the corner. And until then we have X-Men: Apocalypse to look forward to, as long as they do not forget about the other half of the X-Men film franchise which started it all.

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Feature

Life of a Gamekeeper INTERVIEW

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Dan Brown introduces you to the little-known world of gamekeeping.

y father is a self-employed keeper who runs his own shoots as well as managing a large farm. Having spent most of my summer with my father, I have understood more about his job, which I already knew lots about from knowing him for 15 years! The job of a gamekeeper is not just to be someone who likes birds: you have to love birds, because you will be spending your whole life with them, but you also have to be a good organiser, planner and good with people.

What is a Gamekeeper?

And what does he do?

A gamekeeper is typically a person whose job is to breed and to protect game. But it is easier to explain it this way: a typical year of a gamekeeper can be split up into two sections which I will effectively call the rearing season and the shooting season. The rearing season takes place in the summer months and, contrary to what many would imagine, it is the most stressful time, even more so than the shooting season. To be honest, I do not think you can have a much more stressful job than being a gamekeeper although farming in general is a difficult job.

During the rearing season, a gamekeeper has the job of looking after and nurturing tiny pheasants and partridge chicks from a day old until they are to be released out into the wild ready for the shooting season. This is, as I have already stated, the hardest job to do as when you have such a large amount of chicks, many are liable to early death.

The shooting season comes at the start of September with the first partridge let day and ends at the start of February. This is what the rest of the year has been leading up to. However, it is not easy from here as on each day a certain number of birds has to be shot to meet the buyer of the day’s requirements. And each day has a different amount! For example, one day it may be 200 birds and another may be a boys’ day, in which only 60 birds will be shot.

A day of shooting comprises of a team of beaters whose job it is to put the birds over a team of guns. Then all of these have to be led by the gamekeeper.

Do your enjoy your job?

Yes of course I do, I enjoy my job everyday. However, it is also very pressurising as livestock is dependent on all sorts of factors including weather and death by predation. Another pressure is selling days as you have to have cli-

ents and, in the end, that is where the income comes from.

If you could do anything else what would it be?

A professional sportsman, preferably a footballer. I have always been a competitive person and have continued playing for a local cricket club.

What are the benefits and disadvantages of being a Gamekeeper?

Well the benefit of being a gamekeeper is the job satisfaction, especially at the end of the season if the keeper has produced a healthy group of game birds for the shooting season. But also, I personally believe that the shooting community is a benefit to the countryside as a whole.

They are the ones who are planting the woodland and preserving hedge lines to allow for the lives of natural wildlife.

The disadvantage of being a gamekeeper is having to work seven days a week; it’s not like other average five day a week jobs as there is always something that has to be done. Another difficulty is that the weather is always a massive worry as it controls the whole job.

What is your favourite thing about the job?

My favourite part is when everyone is having a good day in the season. That includes everyone: the guns and the beaters. That’s when everything is working and going to plan!

The benefit of being a gamekeeper is the job satisfaction, especially at the end of the season.

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Culture

In Between Giants TRAVEL

Despite being overshadowed by India and China, Myanmar is a fascinating country in its own right.

Photography and words by George Jeffreys Mandalay

I arrived in the famous Mandalay having heard countless stories about a Gestapo-esque secret police shadowing the streets and swarms of people suppressed by a brutal civil war. I expected border control to be interrogatory and that they would demand to know our two week itinerary. However, it was quite the opposite. Having just come out of the civil war, the aftermath seemed quite subdued. If military were seen, everyone still went back inside and in that situation photos were strictly unadvisable if you wanted to remain alive. Apart from that, Burma, or Myanmar as is now known, seemed warm-hearted and welcoming. The airport was the quickest airport I’ve ever been to: we walked off the plane, a porter carried your bags from the plane to the gate, someone checked your passport and that was it. Hello streets of Burma!

Whilst there it became apparent that there were four different styles of places. Bustling cities life with colourful shanty markets every day, the lake people who live on the water and fish for their living, the temples and monasteries, and the factories.

Vibrant Markets

Mandalay was the best example of market life; the streets were packed full of people with either their shopping on their heads or in their motorbike sidecars. Motorbikes seemed to be the most popular mode of transport. Markets were simple, if you arrived earliest, you chose where you put your stall, tipped all

If you arrived earliest, you chose where you put your stall, tipped all your produce onto a carpet and that’s it.

your produce onto a carpet and that’s it: good to go. Some popular markets were roofed by coloured tarpaulin which made walking through them a vivid experience as a pink or green hue was cast over everyone.

Lake People

Lake people, as I like to refer to them, are quite self explanatory, their houses are on the banks or on lakes. Long, thin, shallow boats are commonplace and every day you would see countless men fishing with nets. Reminding me of an old HSBC advert, they would hit the water with a long bamboo cane so as to scare the fish to the surface; then they threw in a big net and hoped that when they pull it out it was full of fish. Some fishermen didn’t even bother with boats and would wade into the water and throw bamboo spears into the water or use a more conventional fishing line to catch fish individually. The most frequent place to see this was lake Inle. The Inle people are famous for their boating ability and most obvious is their individual style of rowing, with their feet; not something you see the 1st eight do on the river in Abingdon! Fishermen on Lake Inle stand on the end of the boat, in a similar style to punting, and row with their legs and feet.

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Factories

Another prominently noticeable area was those with countless factories. In a country with extremely high poverty, jobs are literally to die for. Burma does not have many exclusive crafts which is why when a factory opens people queue for days to get a job. Farming, the production of cotton, cigars, and jewellery is all the production I ever saw in Burma.

Cotton factories were exciting to see and so were jewellery

A mother would be taking care of her eight month old baby while simultaneously making a cigar. factories as everything is done by hand and factories allow you to walk around them in the hope that you buy something by the end. Cigar factories were slightly more upsetting as a mother would be taking care of her eight month old baby while simultaneously making a cigar. Children from a very young age also knew how to make them; not something that normally appears on a nursery syllabus.

Temples

Finally, if you google the word ‘Burma’ and look at images the most common photos are of a vast expanse of land scattered with temples every 100m like the ones in Bagan. Bagan was extraordinary, there is hardly any work and hardly any farming.

Most people in Bagan are monks because every 100m there is, what they call in Burma, a Stoopa. These are sometimes smaller, sometimes large, shrine-like temples that are maintained by the people in the area who visit daily with offerings. In this case, the google stereotype is true. Bagan is heavily populated by monks and therefore monasteries. In Burma, you either have to join the army or become a monk for a minimum of a year. According to our guide, ‘No one wants to be in the army: you die or you become a terrorist’. Monks are not allowed a job and therefore have no income. However, despite the extreme poverty in Burma the people still support the monasteries with daily donations of food. If you see a monk you are meant to shelter them or help transport them to where they need to be.

Monks survive off the backs of some of the poorest people in the world; something I found quite inspiring.

Ang Sang Suu Kyi

I went to Burma at a very poignant time: a vote is about to be held to see if Ang Sang Suu Kyi will be allowed to stand for election. Everyone in Burma seemed in love with her which means if the vote is not passed corruption would be definite.

The overwhelming support for her was evident: t-shirts, calendars, pictures in taxis, everywhere you went her presence was prominent.

Burma is in the midst of recovering from a brutal civil war partly fought by the militia style military. Amongst all this, their borders have been closed to tourists for years and so their economy had to be completely self-sufficient: something which is impossible given their situation. Going to Burma now, you can see the effects of all this but at the same time you see how the people are so happy and so grateful simply because you take a photo of them and they feel valued.

Burma is changing quickly though. Its wealth of culture and history and the fact that it’s situated near to Angkor-wat means that the tourism is about to boom. Burma will unfortunately be spoilt by this overwhelming influx of tourism in the future, but it remains one of the most amazing places I have ever been.

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Sport

THE MARTLET WINTER ISSUE 3

World Cup

FOOTBALL

Toby Jupp looks back at Brazil

Award 1: Team of the Tournament

Award 4: Coach of the Tournament

Keylor Navas (Costa Rica); Phillip Lahm (Germany); Mats Hummels (Germany); Ron Vlaar (Netherlands); Marcos Rojo (Argentina); Javier Mascherano (Argentina); Toni Kroos (Germany); Alexis (Chile) ;James Rodriguez (Colombia); Neymar (Brazil); Thomas Muller (Germany) Subs : Neuer (GER), Rodriguez (CRC), Medel (CHI), Blind (NED), Schweinsteiger (GER), Pogba (FRA), Robben (NED), Cuadrado (COL), Shaqiri (SUI), Messi (ARG), E. Valencia (ECU).

Winner: Joachim Low (Germany) - The German coach managed to recover from the pre-tournament losses of key man Marco Reus, and likely starters Lars Bender and Marcel Schmelzer. However, Low got his side playing the best football and won the biggest prize in world football, guiding his side to victory in all but one of Germany’s seven matches.

Runner Up: Jorge Luis Pinto (Costa Rica) Third Place: Jose Pekerman (Colombia) & Louis van Gaal (Netherlands)

Award 2: Player of the Tournament

Award 5: Game of the Tournament

Winner : James Rodriguez (Colombia) Colombia’s talisman in the absence of Radamel Falcao spearheaded a group of talented players and took Colombia to the quarter finals, in a very watchable manner. He finished the tournament as top goalscorer and his performances deservedly earned him a £61m move to Real Madrid. (5 Apps, 6 Gls and 2 Asts) Runner Up : Thomas Muller (Germany) (7 Apps, 5 Gls and 3 Asts) Third Place : Toni Kroos (Germany) - (7 Apps, 2 Gls and 4 Asts)

Winner: Brazil 1-7 Germany - no other option here. Germany completely outthought, out-fought and out-muscled Brazil in every area of the pitch to stun the hosts with this devastating performance.

Brazil had absolutely no idea what was happening to them. It was a complete performance and demonstrated just how much Brazil relied, not just on Neymar, but perhaps, more importantly, on captain Thiago Silva.

Runner Up: Spain 1-5 Netherlands Third Place: Argentina 3-2 Nigeria

Award 3: Young player of the tournament (22 and under)

Award 6: Goal of the Tournament

Winner : Neymar (Brazil) The poster boy of the World Cup certainly delivered with some outstanding performances and his importance to the Selecao can not be denied. The ex-Santos star certainly enhanced his reputation and started to justify some of the £50m fee that Barcelona paid for him a year ago. (5 Apps, 4 Gls and 1 Ast) Runner Up : Xherdan Shaqiri (Switzerland) - (4 Apps and 3 Gls) Third Place : Memphis Depay (Netherlands) - (3 Apps, 2 Gls and 1 Ast)

Winner : Robin van Persie (NETHERLANDS v Spain) - the goal from the dutchman was a unique finish and quite rightly gets this award, to control a ball that was coming in from within his own half on the diagonal with his head, and chip the goal keeper, all in one motion was exceptional - shame he doesnt do it for Man United!

Runner Up : James Rodriguez (COLOMBIA v Uruguay) Third Place : Tim Cahill (AUSTRALIA v Netherlands)

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THE MARTLET WINTER ISSUE 3

: The verdict

2014, and forward to Russia 2018

Award 7: Pantomime Villain Winner : Luis Suarez (Uruguay) Who else? The Uruguay hitman and new Barcelona signing was, for the third time in his career, banned for biting an opponent. The way that the situation was dealt with by Suarez, his manager Oscar Tabarez, the uruguayan FA and even the president of Uruguay was shameful and almost as bad as the incident itself.

Runner Up : Camilo Zuniga (Colombia) for injuring the World Cup poster boy Neymar Third Place : Fred (Brazil) for his “performances” at the tournament

The Verdict:

England Few would argue that England’s World Cup campaign went horribly wrong and was a major disappointment; despite the fact that expectations weren’t high, neither Italy, Uruguay or Costa Rica were particularly strong opposition. Italy had an ageing side with a couple of outstanding players in Pirlo, Candreva and Balotelli but England failed to keep them quiet. Costa Rica’s team was built on working as a cohesive unit and they exposed the weaknesses in all of the other sides. Uruguay was a one man team proved by the fact that in the two games ‘Count’ Suarez played in Uruguay won but when he didn’t play they lost. England need a breath of fresh air on and off the pitch to have any chance in Russia 2018; I already think that the Euros in 2016 is out of reach. This is the XI I would pick for the World Cup in 2018.

Award 8: Biggest Underachiever Winner : Spain - the defending champions endured a tournament to forget as they were embarrassed by Netherlands in their opener, stunned by Chile and knocked out after just two matches. On top of that, they have now lost Xabi Alonso, Xavi, Alvaro Arbeloa and David Villa to international retirement. (P3, L2, W1) Runner Up : Italy (P3, L2, W1) Third Place : England (P3, L2, D1)

Award 9: Biggest Overachiever Winner : Costa Rica - before the tournament, the very thought of Costa Rica getting a point was quite far-fetched but they did the unthinkable in taking points off Italy, Uruguay and England, beating the former two, and then managing to get to the quarter finals. They put up a brilliant fight in the quarter finals against Netherlands and were the biggest overachievers for sure. (P5, W2, W(P)1, L(P)1, D1) Runner Up : Colombia - (P5, W4, L1) Third Place : United States (P4, W1, D1, L2) and Chile (P4, W2, L1, L(P)1)

As you can see I’ve opted for a 3-4-3 formation. Luke Shaw would have to rein in his attacking desires to play as the left centre back but a natural left sided player has to play there in my opinion. Further forward is where it gets exciting with a vast array of attacking options thanks to the attacking quartet of Sterling, Rooney, Walcott and Sturridge enough to compete with any team. Rooney would drop deep and thread through balls to Walcott and Sturridge, who would cut inside and threaten the back line with their pace, and Sterling, who would be given license to roam in my formation. The most important players though would be the ‘engine room’ of Wilshere, Barkley and Henderson whose roles would be to get the ball to the more attacking players as well as cover the wide areas to make sure the back three aren’t exposed.

This formation ensures England can play all their key men in their best positions (with the exception of Sturridge). The rest of my squad as back up for the World Cup would be: Forster, Butland, Stones, Chambers, Dier, Chalobah, Lallana, Ward-Prowse, Zaha, Oxlade-Chamberlain, Wickham, Welbeck.

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THE MARTLET WINTER ISSUE 3

Sport

Can England Win the Cricket World Cup? CRICKET

Toby Jupp argues that a change in tactics, not personnel, is the key to English success.

Jos Buttler would be the start of this new-look side

James Taylor could return to the international fold

an England win the Cricket World Cup in 2015? The short and simple answer would be “no”.

But, call me an idealist, I am one of the few that give England a chance. There are a few conditions of course, a more aggressive approach would be a good start, however, with all the young and talented cricketers that England have at their disposal, for me it is just about finding a way to fit them into a well-balanced unit.

The World Cup actually presents a great opportunity for England as most of the sides (India, Sri Lanka, Pakistan and the West Indies) will be playing in completely alien conditions and they would usually be considered front runners. South Africa, New Zealand and hosts Australia will have the biggest advantage but England frequently tour Australia, as well as having relatively similar conditions.

England’s biggest problem is not their personnel: it’s their tactics. The fact is, England still treat one-day internationals as test matches. Obviously the formats are very different but England’s basic approach is similar, we go along at three or four an over, then our batsmen get out leaving it all down to the likes of Buttler and the tail to magically propel us to a good total. Unsurprisingly, more often than not it doesn’t work. The game has moved on, while 300 used to be considered an outstanding score these days it’s average. Graeme Swann said as much too, about England’s ancient approach to ODIs, in an article for the BBC when he wrote about England batting to a formulated plan and used a World Cup game against Sri Lanka as an example. The England players were told that if they

more likely to get a run-a-ball hundred or crash fifty off twenty or thirty balls when England need to accelerate.

This is the team I would select for the World Cup: Alex Hales, Joe Root, Moeen Ali, James Taylor, Eoin Morgan (capt), Jos Buttler (wk), Ravi Bopara, Ben Stokes, Chris Woakes, Stuart Broad, James Anderson.

In reserve; Jason Roy, Adil Rashid, Chris Jordan, Steve Finn.

I would go with an exciting looking opening partnership in the form of the explosive Alex Hales and the run-machine Joe Root. You need your opening batsmen to score hundreds and make big partnerships, while scoring at a decent rate, and these two are easily capable.

The middle-order would be flexible.

Moeen Ali, who is the main spinner, would come in if it were the powerplay overs but anything after 20 overs I would start bringing in the more destructive James Taylor and Eoin Morgan, leaving Jos Buttler and Ravi Bopara for the last fifteen. I believe that with all these players in this team England could post a total of more than 350.

On to the bowlers. To fit Bopara into the team, I had to get rid of a bowler and it had to be James Tredwell. Tredwell has been an excellent and consistent performer for England, but Moeen is improving rapidly and is probably already a better spinner. Combined with the parttime off spin of Root, I think England have spin covered. That leaves four pace bowling slots which go to the quartet of Ben Stokes, Chris Woakes, Stuart Broad and James Anderson leaving Steve Finn

C

scored 235 in their first innings (little over 4.5 an over) then they would win 75% of games. England posted 228 and Sri Lanka chased the runs down with a whopping twelve overs to spare.

That approach underlined England’s unwillingness to adapt with the current game. You need players to score you 350400 in the modern game, but England’s current team does not, and will not, score more than 300 consistently. And it is these below-par, substandard scores that England register regularly that our bowlers are constantly under pressure.

People ask: ‘Why are our bowlers so poor?’ or, ‘Why can we never take any wickets?’. The problem is actually the batting. If you score only 200 runs, the side batting second barely has to try to get over the line, especially if you look at the elite level of batting out there at the moment, thanks in large part to the Indian Premier League.

Having watched India produce a masterclass for three matches this summer as they consistently outperformed England, the penny dropped - for me at least. If you look at the side that started their last three ODIs and the T20 international, the team is virtually identical and this epitomised their approach in the two one day formats - exactly the same top eight was used. If you look at England’s approach, it is somewhat different. Alastair Cook, Ian Bell and Gary Ballance are all used regularly in England’s one-day lineup but the bottom line is that none of them are England’s top six or seven oneday batsmen. The likes of James Taylor and Ravi Bopara, who was inexplicably excluded from the last squad, are far

and Chris Jordan in reserve.

I opened up saying that England’s problem was more their tactics than their personnel and I think this is reflected in the team I selected. The team that played in the last ODI against India is very similar to the one that I picked, in fact, only Taylor, Bopara and Broad didn’t play in that game and the latter would have played if he had been fit. The side has a perfect balance of run machines (such as Root and Taylor), aggressive game changers (Morgan, Buttler and Hales) and brilliant all-rounders (Moeen and Bopara) complemented by an excellent bowling unit with height and pace.

Jason Roy offers something different with the bat. He can bat in the middle order or at the top, so can come in and play if needed, likewise Chris Jordan provides excellent competition for Stokes and Woakes in case they lose form or get injured. Steve Finn offers something completely different with his express pace and height and would play some part, especially in certain conditions.

Finally, I would pick Adil Rashid who admittedly is a bit of a wildcard. But it is a reasonable one: he has international experience (albeit a long time ago); he offers something England simply don’t have - a leg spinner. He is also a handy batsman, bats in the middle order for Yorkshire, and a good fielder; and to top all that off, he is only 26.

England have a small chance of winning the competition if they continue on their current trajectory but they could catapult themselves into being among the frontrunners by making these few minor changes.

19

THE MARTLET WINTER ISSUE 3

Humour HUMOUR

Essential Reading

by Henry Waterson

Following last year’s peak in online popularity for Dr. Burnand’s very first publication, Tacitus and the Principate: From Augustus to Domitian (Greece and Rome: Texts and Contexts), we present six Amazon titles that can almost certainly never be as great.

This appreciative review was posted from the UK by a grateful student, rescued from disaster by Dr. Burnand’s 228-page book for only £16.50. It now has one Amazon review and a flawless five-star average rating as a result!

The Stray Shopping Carts of Eastern-North America: A Guide to Field Identification

by Julian Montague It can easily be argued that the ability to categorize abandoned shopping trolleys in the wild demands attention from a very select few. The author of this efficiently structured guide seeks to put this state of affairs to an end by introducing a standardized system of trolley classification to the masses, in order that no stray shopping trolley may go ignored. Yes, the book is a bit of a joke on the author’s part, but that does not disqualify it from our list! The methods used to identify awol shopping carts are accurately modelled on those employed by dignified naturalists. The book is divided into five sections, each containing a different category of stray shopping cart. The guide is illustrated with the author’s own photos of lonely shopping carts inhabiting the countryside and suburbs of the USA. It has been said, however, that the guide, like Collectable Spoons of the Third Reich, lacks the weight of detail necessary to satisfy a novice trolley-hunter.

Pages: 176; Customer reviews: 7; Average rating: 4.5 stars; Price: £9.95 A Century of Sand Dredging in the Bristol Channel, Volumes 1-2

by Peter Gosson This extraordinary two-volume work by Peter Gosson traces, as one might expect, a detailed history of the sand dredging trade in that area, from its unannounced birth in 1912 to the present day.

Following 30 years of painstaking research and personal experience of dredging the channel, both parts faithfully track the companies, contractors and firms in the business, as well as individual dredging vessels. Sources include first-hand interviews, original photographs and one man who has a heart-warming passion for sand dredging. Each volume endeavours to reveal the dredging activity on one of the channel’s coasts. Volume One examines the English side, earning one five star review from a lady whose husband had been searching for the book for a long time. Upon concluding his quest, he ‘liked it’. Volume Two, of course, examines the Welsh coast opposite. This book also has one review, but it is a star worse off, perhaps owing to a 20% reduction in pages.

Total Pages: 288; Total customer reviews: 2; Average rating: 4.5 stars; Price for both: £25 Bombproof your Horse: Teach your Horse to be Confident, Obedient and Safe no Matter what you Encounter

by Rick Pelicana With terrorism alerts on the rise, it seems only reasonable that the responsible horse-owner would take measures to protect their four-legged friend from IEDs, RPGs, ATMs, ATGMs, SLBMs, ICBMs, HVMs, HEATs, APCRs and HVAPs. While this topic certainly deserves a book of its own, unfortunately that book is not this book. In equine terminology, to ‘bombproof’ one’s horse does in fact entail its inoculation against spooks, scares and surprises in order that it does not ‘bomb’ i.e. hurtle into the distance oblivious to the world with rider still attached (if they’re lucky).

The American author of this useful guide is quite professional in this specific field of horse riding and owns and manages his own academy of bombproofing. In spite of living in the States, Rick is never worried about bombs as he sits astride his trusty steed.

Pages: 192; Customer reviews: 6; Average rating: 4 stars; Price: £15.00 The Mushroom in Christian Art

by John A. Rush Do not be fooled; at 400 pages, this biblical volume is no balderdash compiled over a lifespan spent in a relative’s basement, nor is it a high-renaissance cookbook. This book does in fact claim to define the nature of Christian art, reveal the identity of Christ and unravel the motive for his crucifixion, all through the medium of the humble mushroom, or, more specifically, Aminata Muscaria - the holy mushroom. Rush’s controversial argument, explained at great length and supported by sturdy and wide-ranging source material, flows as follows: Jesus Christ was never a real person, simply a personification of the miraculous influence of the Lord’s holy mushrooms. To the early Christians, these included psychoactive mushrooms, cannabis, henbane and mandrake. Yes. Jesus was cannabis. He goes on to say that it was not until 325 AD that Jesus was given a human face and the corrupt Christian church that we know today took over from the catacomb-dwelling hippies who were the early Christians. These same mushroom junkies, having formed a powerful reactionary force, allegedly murdered the man who would later become known as Jesus Christ in order to prevent the coming-to-power of said corrupt political system - for the good of both man and mushroom kinds.

You may be surprised to discover that the book does actually contain references to art. It is in fact saturated with pictures of mushrooms throughout the winding history of Christian art, most of them used to support Rush’s provocative theory. Amazon includes a DVD on which are 252 bonus images of mushrooms... tasty...

Pages: 400; Customer reviews: 1 ; Average rating: 5 stars; Price: £27.06 A Taxonomy of Office Chairs

by Jonathan Olivares This weighty, hard-back tome is a must-have for those interested in researching the history of design. The author has selected a common product (the office chair being counted among the most obvious examples) and scrupulously analysed every inch of it. He has picked out 180 of history’s most significant office chairs and explained their success. Every key component of the office chair is followed through ‘from its invention to its evolution’, beginning in the 1840s. Unlike many books on our list, the potential audience for A Taxonomy of Office Chairs is not limited to highly specialized individuals with very little if any human contact, rather anybody who has sat in an office chair. Indeed, as well as providing a veritable font of material for design researchers, this book nurtures much needed appreciation for the hidden genius of yet another everyday object. What office workers sat on before 1840 might make an exciting prequel.

Pages: 240; Customer reviews: 1; Average rating: 5 stars; Price: £24.95 Collectible Spoons of the Third Reich

by James A. Yannes The author of the first book in our selection (my personal favourite on this page apart from, of course, Dr. Burnand’s) hoped to put down in words his undying passion for the tableware of Nazi Germany. Filled out by 200 illustrative photographs, many complain that this book is simply too short to feed their curiosity. This guide lacks the depth of information that ardent enthusiasts might use to cross reference and track down their favourite spoons, whether it be Reichsmarschall Goering’s teaspoon or Grand Admiral Doenitz’ soup blower. Available from the same author is a much more thorough guide to the ins and outs of the entire spectrum of Nazi cutlery, which ‘may be more suitable for beginners’.

Pages: 228; Total customer reviews: 10; Average rating: 4 stars; Price: £11.88

The

{Big}

Quiz

Caption Competition The Martlet features your best answers.

Test your wits against this mega quiz by Toby Jupp Sport 1. Which Italian beat Andy Murray in the Davis Cup quarter final between Great Britain and Italy?

2. What is the smallest number of throws in which a leg of darts can be won?

3. At which race did Jules Bianchi score the Marussia F1 Team’s first ever points?

4. Which three teams were promoted into the Barclays Premier League this season?

5. Which American golfer won the 2014 Masters, picking up their second title in three years?

6. In which US city can you find MLS franchise Sounders, NFL team Seahawks and MLB outfit Mariners?

Geography 7. According to a 2014 estimate, which two countries account for over a quarter of the World’s oil production?

8. Which disease kills more people in the developing world: Cancer, AIDS or Malaria?

9. In which mountain range could you find Mount Aconcagua, the tallest mountain outside the Himalayas or mountains derived from it?

10. Which Pacific city is larger by population: Manila (Philippines) or Seoul (South Korea)?

11. Name three of the countries that made up Yugoslavia.

“This wasn’t quite what I had in mind when I said bring the car back with a full tank!”

- William Cope

Honourable Mentions

Entertainment 12. Who plays Nelson Mandela in the film Nelson Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom?

“Typical American parking” - Oliver Carpenter

13. True or False: Ireland have won the Eurovision Song Contest more times than any other country.

14. Who was the creator of The Simpsons?

“Should have gone to SpecSavers” - Nicolas Markham “4 seater, 0.6 miles to the gallon, 120mm gun, Le Tank by Peugeot” - Zachary Muncaster

General Knowledge

“As of late, police have been using tanks to enforce parking within the lines.”

- Joseph Nash

15. According to a 2012 Census, what is the most common name for a boy in England?

16. What is the average length of a green anaconda?

17. Which US president said, ‘America is a place where all things are possible.’?

18. In the last five years, which university, Oxford or Cambridge, has won more boat races?

“First world problems: Which one looks cooler?”

- Hayden Ramm “Ticket man walks up. Ticket man looks to his right. Ticket man backs up slowly.”

- Ruaidhri Taylor “Told you we went the wrong way.”

- George Simonson

19. Which word is the longest English word not to contain a vowel?

20. Take the number of Champions League wins by Real Madrid; add the number of states in America; divide by the number of Spider-man films; multiply by the number of King Henrys in England and take away the number of British female Prime Ministers. What number do you get?

0-5

Hmmm, maybe you’re not making the most of that private school education. And this wasn’t even that hard. Are you sure you’re not better off reading The Blazer?

Congratulations to William Cope for the winning response!

For details on how to collect your prize, contact martlet@abingdon.org.uk

5-15

A decent score, but still not exactly setting the world alight. You’re probably sitting in G3 territory at the moment. You better get those books out and start cramming.

PUBLISHER Emma Williamson MANAGING EDITORS Thomas Harkness Henry Wilkinson

DESIGN EDITORS Blake Jones Pea Sermsuk George Jeffreys Asten Yeo CONTRIBUTORS James Beazley Jack Dawson

15-20

Either you deserve that scholar’s tie, or you were looking at the answers! You must be the captain of the House General Knowledge team!

STAFF WRITERS Aiden Steer Blake Jones Charlie Landells Daniel Alcock Daniel Brown Henry Waterson Howard Hawkes Design by Asten Yeo Contact us at martlet@abingdon.org.uk

Nick Harris Patrick Cole Pea Sermsuk Samuel Chambers Toby Collins Toby Jupp William Sutcliffe Printed by the Newspaper Club

1) Fabio Fognini 2) Nine 3) Monaco 4) QPR, Leicester and Burnley 5) Bubba Watson 6) Seattle 7) Russia and Saudi Arabia 8) Cancer

9) Andes 10) Manila 11) Three from; Slovenia, Serbia, Croatia, Macedonia, BosniaHerzegovina and Montenegro 12) Idris Elba

13) True 14) Matt Groening 15) Harry 16) 25 feet 17) Barack Obama 18) Oxford 19) Rhythms 20) 95