How to Speak Klingon: Essential Phrases for the Intergalactic Traveler by Ben Grossblatt - Chronicle

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$16.95 U.S./£12.50 U.K.

Conforms to CPSIA 2008, ASTM F963, and EN-71 standards.

Manufactured by Hung Hing Offset Printing Company, Shenzen, China, January 2013.

For Ages 8 and Up

™, ® & © 2013 CBS Studios Inc. STAR TREK and related marks are trademarks of CBS Studios Inc. All Rights Reserved.

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*Good luck!

Klingon

Avoid dishonor and intergalactic incident with this handy Klingon phrasebook and sound module, which demonstrates the correct pronunciation for ten crucial sayings to help navigate a range of tricky social situations and activities. Eating out in Klingon restaurants, enjoying Klingon sporting events, and attending Klingon movies, weddings, and birthday parties will become somewhat less dangerous when using this indispensable language guide and primer to Klingon culture. yIghoSDo’!*

HOW TO SPEAK

A visit to the Klingon homeworld of Kronos can be exciting in many ways, but nothing can ruin a trip faster than accidentally offending a local and ending up in armed combat.

HOW TO SPEAK

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KLINGON ESSENTIAL PHRASES FOR THE INTERGALACTIC TRAVELER

By Ben Grossblatt Illustrations by Alex Fine

Klingon Pronunciation

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Introduction

Traveling to the homeworld of the Klingons, known by the honor-bound natives as Qo’noS (Kronos in Federation standard language)? What a wonderful opportunity to explore a fascinating culture while dodging knife thrusts! This book will give you a leg up in your efforts to master the Klingons’ language, one of the most, well . . . forceful in the universe.

Klingon sounds and spellings can be tricky for non-Klingon travelers.

Your attempts at speaking properly will be rewarded with the grudging respect of the Klingons you meet.

The sound module included with this phrasebook contains 10 different phrases. Master them, and the others presented in the book, and you’ll be ready for a host of colorful experiences among the Klingons.

ch as in charge

a as in honor

t as in tingle

b as in battle

tlh is the trickiest sound of the bunch. Start to say torpedo, but instead of going through with the t, drop the sides of your tongue and let the air noisily hiss out.

D as in danger, but with the tip of your tongue touching the roof of your mouth (note: this letter appears in uppercase only) e as in death gh is like the gargly French r H is the pre-hocking-a-loogie noise—like the ch in the German pronunciation of Bach I as in ship (note: you will never see this in lowercase in Klingon) j as in jugular l as in launch m as in military n as in annihilate ng as in sting o as in explode p as in pounce q as in kill, but pronounced much farther back in your mouth Q is like the Klingon q followed by the Klingon H (note: in Klingon, you have to mind your Q’s and q’s—they’re very different) r is like the rolled r in Spanish gracias S as in shrapnel, but with the tip of your tongue pointing toward the roof of your mouth (note: this letter appears in uppercase only)

u as in kaboom v as in violent w as in warfare y as in yell ’ is like a catch in your throat—it’s the sound represented by the hyphen in uh-oh.

vIlajQo’. muropmoH qagh.

TRANSLATION: No, thanks. I’m allergic to gagh.

ALSO HELPFUL: ngem targh Dajab’a’?

Is your targ free-range? jIHmo’ jabwI’ yIHoHneSQo’!

Please don’t kill the waiter on my account!

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At a restaurant

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KLINGON:

Klingon cuisine is justly famed for its utter repulsiveness.

Make an effort to sample everything you’re offered, no matter how repugnant—or alive—it might be. And after the meal, never get between a Klingon and the check.

Being treated to dinner (or even “going Romulan”) is deeply humiliating to a Klingon. Besides, you might accidentally undertip, which could cause grave offense. Or an interplanetary incident.

romuluSngan julyetlh je, cha’ chaw’mey.

TRANSLATION:

Two for Romulan and Juliet.

ALSO HELPFUL: ralchoHDI’ much, lubejlaH’a’ puqpu’?

Is the carnage in this movie G-rated? wa’ nenwI’, wa’ ghIjqu’bogh nenchoHwI’ je.

One adult and one terrifying adolescent.

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At the movies

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KLINGON:

Klingon theaters are notorious for painful volume levels and floors sticky with spilled buckets of racht. Note also that stuntmen and special effects are unknown in Klingon cinema. Everything you see on the screen is horribly, horribly real. Plan your moviegoing accordingly. Be warned, however, that even films intended for Klingon children can be upsetting to viewers belonging to other species.

’oDwI’! Hab SoSlI’ Quch!

TRANSLATION:

Hey, ref! Your mother has a smooth forehead!

ALSO HELPFUL: yaaaaaaay!

Goooooooal!

HooooooH! Killlllllllllll!

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At a sporting event

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KLINGON:

Klingon sports are so rough they make rugby look like beginner ballet. All the eyegouging! The pummeling!

The brutal tackles! And that’s just among the spectators in the stands! Gambling is encouraged as a display of confidence, so pack plenty of cash. If you don’t have time to master the local team’s official chant, stay safe by watching the match at home on payper-view.

yItlhob ghIq weQmey tIpe’, tIchev!

TRANSLATION: Make a wish and chop off the candles!

ALSO HELPFUL: ghIlo’meH Darur . . . rur je pIwlIj! You look like a glo’meH . . .

And you smell like one, too! qoSlIj yItIv! DaH, ’oy’naQ DIchu’!

Happy birthday! Now let’s break out the painstiks!

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At a birthday party

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KLINGON:

Selecting the right gift for a Klingon is a dicey proposition.

Sentimental gifts are a serious faux pas, and luxury goods are scorned. If you must give, consider weaponry or other strictly practical goods, like . . . belts. Or boots. You know what? Maybe it’s best if you just congratulate the birthday Klingon on being another year closer to the glory of his eventual warrior’s death and an afterlife of eternal mayhem and feasting.