The Lamplighter News F
lash!
High School Survival 101: Derryfield Edition Welcome to Derryfield! This News Flash is brought to you by the Lamplighter, the Upper School’s one and only newspaper. We (Maggie Cochrane and Rachel McCoy) are the Leading Editors of the paper, and being seniors, we know the ropes of Derryfield pretty well. Therefore, we thought it would be helpful to offer some advice to new and returning students. Hopefully these tips will make for smooth(er) sailing down the hallways of DS. Rachel’s Tips
Maggie’s Tips
Juniors — don’t make a mess in the Junior hallway, especially with food. You just might end up without access to your lockers, and have to bargain with other people to share. I speak from experience.
If you take a class with Mr. Anthony — you should always come to class with starting points, but when in doubt, bring up the Garden of Eden.
Try to be Mr. Berk’s favorite. Every day. And if he can’t get your name right a month into school, tell him that you heard he once paid a student a dollar every time he messed up her name and you want fair and equal treatment.
Keep your calculator under close guard at all times. AT ALL TIMES. Those things are expensive.
Juniors — please park in your own lot; that’s why you have one. The senior lot is for seniors. Also we had to park in the upper fields last year.
Don’t mention Jennifer Aniston or Twilight to Mr. Anthony. Actually, scratch that. Talk about Jennifer Aniston AND Twilightnonstop to Mr. Anthony. He’ll just love it.
Join the Lamplighter! It helps improve your writing and looks great on your transcript… not that I’m biased.
And finally, white is better than maroon.
And finally, maroon is better than white.
Freshmen, DON’T clump in the middle of your hallway or you will face the wrath of some stressed out upperclassmen. Your hallway is narrow and the only path to many classrooms. Please stick to the sides if you want to chat. You will be my favorite freshman if I never have to push around you to get to class. On that note, if you’re in a hallway and you hear someone ask you to move because they are late to APUSH, move. Enough said.