Notes from the Nurse Teens Coping with Grief and Loss Grief is the term used for the many feelings and behaviors we experience when we are faced with loss. The loss may be from the death of a significant other, relocation, or divorce. Grief is a natural and normal reaction to loss and change. Teens experience grief as they have feelings and are aware of losses. However, everyone experiences grief differently. Some feelings you may have due to grief: You may feel abandoned or left alone, anxiety, confusion, anger, guilt, fear, rejection, sadness and panic. It is very important to identify, name and talk about different feelings with your parent, teacher, counselor, or a trusted adult. Some behaviors you may notice due to grief: You may experience temper outbursts, panic attacks, immature behavior, and lack of interest in usual activities, increased dependency on adults, stomachaches, headaches, silence, withdrawal, over-activity, and taking on adult activities. Some teens try to be the “perfect child.” Again, it is very important to talk to a trusted adult if you or others notice these changes in behavior. Grief or Depression? The symptoms of grief and depression are similar. If you are concerned about how you are adjusting to your loss or wondering if you are depressed…TALK TO SOMEONE! Nurses, doctors, school counselors, psychologists are trained professionals who can help you. Teens grieve differently from adults: Adults often feel sad over an extended period of time, whereas a teen’s grief tends to come and go. Your expression of grief may flare up and then be over quickly as you move on to the next activity. This “rollercoaster” feeling is a normal grief pattern for teens. There are certain tasks that help people adjust to a loss. Below are a few suggestions that may help: 1.
Understanding: facing the reality of death Take the time to talk about death and loss as you experience it in everyday life. Find someone who will listen – a trusted adult. Find someone who will listen long after you think you should be moving on. Ask questions about death and loss.
2. Identify and express feelings • Notice how other people talk about feelings. • Try to identify and express your feelings. • Try an activity: writing about feelings; talking to someone about feelings; arts and crafts; physical activities; singing; walking; meditation. 3. Honoring/Remembering the person who died • Create an ongoing list of “Things I remember about ______.”Put it on the refrigerator. • Write a story, poem, song or prayer for the loved one. • Create a memory book or box with photographs and/or special mementos.
• Plan a visit to the cemetery with family or friends. • Plant a tree or plant in honor of the loved one. 4.
Going on – not “getting over” • Create a ritual to say good-bye to the loved one and to remember them in the future. • Create a collage of the things that make you happy to be alive. • Talk about your mixed feeling about “what’s going on.” Resources: Alternative Education Healthy Start, Saint Agnes Footsteps, Hinds Hospice/ Circle of Friends, Optimal Hospice Melnyk, B.M. & Moldenhauer, Z.: The Kyss Guide to Child and Adolescent Mental Health Screening, Early Intervention and Health Promotion, 2006, National Association of Pediatric Nurse Practitioners and the NAPNAP Foundation, Cherry Hill, NJ. Click here to download – https://www.dropbox.com/home/Natalie%20M./March%20Content?preview=Teens+coping+wi th+grief+and+loss.docx