ACADSA HEAR/D RESIDENCY PROGRAM EXHIBITION CATALOGUE WINTER 2018
“In the context of exposure to significant adversity, resilience is both the capacity of individuals to navigate their way to the psychological, social, cultural, and physical resources that sustain their well-being, and their capacity individually and collectively to negotiate for these resources to be provided in culturally meaningful ways.� Dr. Michael Unger, 2008
ABOUT THE HEAR/D RESIDENCY PROGRAM WHAT IS IT? The ACADSA Hear/d Residency (previously known as the AiR “Artists in Residence” Program) is a pilot project developed by the ACAD Students’ Association. The residency has its own central theme of resilience, relating to the journey of mental health issues currently experienced by many post-secondary students. Drawing on this theme, the Hear/d Residency program invites participants to explore concerns that are affecting post-secondary students in a creative and innovative way. The Hear/d Residency asks students to collaborate on the research, development, creation and curation of an exhibition that allows our community to safely explore these themes while offering hands-on experiences that directly relate to the fields of art + design. Through group discussions, reflection, individual studio time, critiques, and workshops this residency will provide a platform for a diversity of creative activity that aims to raise awareness of the issues that are affecting the health and well-being of post-secondary students, while also connecting members from different disciplines in the college. Artists working across all mediums who share a deep interest in these issues are invited to gather, brainstorm and create.
WHAT IS RESILIENCE? “Being in good health means more than feeling physically well; it also means feeling mentally well. Today, we are more aware of how our mental and physical health affect each other. Setting aside time to focus on mental health is important – to you and those who care about you. Life is full of change, risks and challenges. Good mental or emotional health helps us find our balance and stay in control, even during turbulent times.” – Canadian Mental Health Association (2017)
HOW IS IT FUNDED? The ACADSA Hear/d Residency program has been part of a larger provincial wide initiative for the last four-years, which was funded by the Alberta Campus Mental Health Innovation (ACMHI) fund. Students’ Associations across Alberta have had the opportunity, through the Alberta Students’ Executive Council, a provincial lobby group, to apply for funding in order to support mental health initiatives on campus. Each association is asked to consider the uniqueness and strengths of their campus when applying for ACMHI funding and to create a program that supports and connects with their students’ interests. As of 2017, this funding period concluded. ACADSA is now the sole funder of the Hear/d Residency program.
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TABLE OF CONTENTS 02
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About the Hear/d Residency Program
Message from Director of Leadership & Governance
Message from Residency Mentor
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Head north down 83
The Background Noise
weighted / to expel
Alicia Buates Mckenzie
Emily Elizabeth Melaugh
Jaime McDonald
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A System In Itself
BLACK STEEL WOOL
Suit V
Keiran Foster
Kellen Spencer
Megan Feniak
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I TRIED, MUM
Deficiency
Robyn Chmelyk
Winona Julian
Mental Health & Addictions Emergency Numbers & Resources (Calgary Area)
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MESSAGE FROM DIRECTOR OF LEADERSHIP & GOVERNANCE First and foremost I would like to offer congratulations and a heartfelt thank you to all of the mentors and participants in the Hear/d Residency program. Throughout my time here at ACAD the exhibition has been a visible and powerful force working to destigmatize mental illness in our community. This is incredibly important in a school of this nature where we experience higher percentages of students struggling with mental illness. I am so proud of all of the students who opened themselves up and allowed themselves to be vulnerable, sharing honestly with and responding compassionately to each other. You are so brave and I admire the strength you bring to this school, and to addressing this difficult subject matter. This bravery has had a direct affect on the willingness of students in this school to open up and reach out for help when they need it. When resources for mental health are not always accessible or within reach, this program creates a space where students can connect in a way relevant to their lives and their practices. I am so proud to be a part of an organization that prioritizes mental wellness the way that our Student’s Association does. Thank you to everyone working behind the scenes who makes sure that this program keeps running, as well as constantly striving for the best this program can be. The Hear/d Residency program truly couldn’t exist without you and I personally can’t thank you enough. All of the features the program has had in various summits and media releases are well earned. It is my hope moving forward that the Government and our parent institution recognize and support the programming and results that ACADSA and other Student’s Associations are developing and implementing. As we all face more troubling times, this program provides me with the encouraging notion that whatever happens, we will stand together and face it side by side. Sincerely, Camille Porcheron Director of Leadership and Governance Alberta College of Art + Design Student’s Association
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MESSAGE FROM RESIDENCY MENTOR Being a participant of the Hear/d Residency in 2017 was one of the most cathartic and defining experiences in my post-secondary education. It allowed me to face head on the stigma I have carried all my life dealing with my mental health. Seeing the courage and resilience of my fellow peers allowed me to finally own my story and not be afraid to speak up. This semester I had the privilege of becoming a mentor along with Jeannie Gorrie, ACADSA’s Health + Wellness Program Manager, who has a sincere passion for supporting students to achieve greatness. This opportunity allowed me to share my own path to resilience and understanding of my mental health with students that are embarking on their own journey; in some cases, for the first time. This residency offers a safe space for students to explore their mental health in creative ways. It’s a place of camaraderie and mutual support. It encourages students to take risks and allow their voices to be heard in a broader audience. For many of us, this may be the first time that we can be open about how our mental health informs our art practice and the work we choose to do. Knowing that you can speak openly without fear of judgement gives a sense of relief and freedom. In a world that struggles with vulnerability as a powerful force, this residency allows its members to search for clarity of mind using it as a creative tool. It’s only when we rumble with our stories that we can make sense of them and finally own them. Its only then that we become whole. The program offers a variety of tools to promote emotional and academic development from conversations about mental health, shared daily experiences, studio visits, art critiques, guest speakers from the arts community, and supporting materials. This is a program that offers professional opportunities alongside emotional development; and in my opinion this is what it makes it so unique and so successful within ACAD community. Students come from different departments within the University. This allows for cross-pollination, breaks isolation, promotes diversity, and forms long lasting connections between students. As mentors, Jeannie and I strived to create an environment of trust and safety. We attempted to create an opportunity for students to thrive, not just survive. Jennie offered a balance to my leadership style and allowed me to also grow alongside the students. Being a witness to the creative and emotional journey of others was utterly gratifying and meaningful. The skills we all learned thought this residency will help us as we move on with our artistic careers. We all must strive to fiercely protect our mental health. It’s only then, when we become whole with it, that we can offer the world a better version of ourselves.
- ROCIO GRAHAM 5
HEAD NORTH DOWN 83 ALICIA BUATES MCKENZIE The highway is a transitory space—a place of contemplation and passing thoughts and bodies, a threshold between humanity and all else. It is the experience of being between experiences, a tension between the velocity of machinery and the sedentary human body. This particular highway cuts through my hometown and passes by the turn-off onto the rural road that leads to my childhood home. It is a buffer between the traumas that exist on either end; a temporal safe space in transit. It is here that I am able to process my thoughts and gather strength before entering these spaces of distress. This Google Map was rendered one year after the death of my abusive father and one year before being sexually assaulted and not long after, leaving home. Google Maps allows me to access spaces that I cannot physically insert my body into, or could bear the mental weight of within their atmospheres. This work is an exploration of past traumas through its conflation with nostalgia and my growing distance from this place and my experiences there. The scene is painstakingly slow, a exhaustive dragging on that seems to have no foreseeable end. However, it is progress. And if that is the case, there is no need for the journey to end.
RESPONSE STATEMENT When I entered the Hear/d Residency, I was of the mindset that I had already conquered the parts of myself that were holding me back from recovery. After our first meeting, it became glaringly clear to me that I was in denial about the actual state of my mental health. This made me incredibly uncomfortable, as I’ve always prided myself in being a strong, selfsufficient person who did not need the help of others to do well in my life. My mental health was not at all as good as I told myself it was; something I assume is a consequence of my own hesitancy to admit when I am in distress. This stems from a long history of abuse and sexual violence at various points in my life, which formed a facade of resilience that I’d been using to ignore the roots and concurrent symptoms of my post-traumatic stress, trichotillomania, anxiety, and depression. The Hear/d Residency was my first experience in actively engaging with my mental health in a positive environment. I’ve never been to therapy, or participated in support groups, or have even spoken to my friends and family about what I am going through. As so many of my mental health issues stem from such specific and isolating situations, I often feel that I am the only person who can understand why I am the way that I am. This, combined with my inherently introverted personality, typically means that I opt to internalize and repress my problems rather than confide in others about what is bothering or hurting me. The Hear/d Residency has provided me with the tools and motivation to continue talking about my mental health and the struggles I continue to work through in my day to day life. I was able to produce a piece of work that addresses my mental health in ways that I’ve previously avoided and I’ve opened myself up to being vulnerable in ways that I have shied away from in the past.
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Going forward, my next steps in building resiliency will be to actively seek out the necessary help to recover fully from my traumas. I will work towards opening myself up to the support of friends and family that I have previously closed myself off from. From this experience, I’ve learned that self-sufficiency does not mean that you go through hardships alone—it means you are able to recognize what you need to be healthy and thrive in any given situation, whether that involves other people or not. I’m grateful for the Hear/d Residency, as this opportunity has gifted me with the foundation I needed to work towards mental resiliency and strength, even when I wasn’t aware how badly I needed it.
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THE BACKGROUND NOISE EMILY ELIZABETH MELAUGH
This piece is first a performance, and second a painting. This work encompasses the emotional highs and lows experienced through bipolar disorder. Bipolar disorder is one spectrum of mental illness that is often characterized by periods of depression/low mood, and periods of high energy mania. There is a wide array of symptoms with this disorder, including mood swings and psychosis. My goal with this piece was to capture those manic highs and depressive lows, through music and dance, and to record those actions by dancing in paint. The music has been selected and cut together by another member of the residency, Robyn Chemlyk, and material support has been donated by other residency and community members. This fact about my process, really exemplifies the notion, that mental health is a journey that we don’t have to take alone. The music has influenced my dance choreography, in which I express moments of intensity including anger, confusion and intense sorrow. The movements are exaggerated and often jarring; with complete disregard of where the paint (or the results of my actions) will go. The colours of the paint have also been selected to document that wide range of emotions, with red being the dominant color embodying that passionate anger and vigor. The canvas hanging is an evidentiary trace of often aggressive bodily motions done during the performance, inspired by the performance work of Kazuo Shiraga. I want to bring awareness to mental illness in this piece by saying, “It’s not cute. It’s not pretty or romantic. It’s challenging and sometimes terrifying. But it is what it is, and we all do our best to cope in any way we know how.”
RESPONSE STATEMENT My Hear/d residency experience was overwhelmingly positive. I found out about it because I went to the ACADSA office looking for help. At the beginning of the semester I had a lot on my plate, I was struggling to find employment and with my mental health. It caused a lot of mental and emotional stress throughout the duration of the semester. However, these weekly meetings with my peers became a safe haven. It really was a positively functioning peer support group. Our mentors ran the meetings efficiently and with great care. The mentors and my peers went above and beyond to help me out when I was in times of stress and worry. Not only did they help me with the technical aspects of my performance art piece, but they were always there and open for communication whenever needed. The whole experience was incredibly accommodating and I feel like I really found my voice when it comes to speaking on mental illness. I am glad I participated in this residency because it gave me the opportunity to experiment with my art and be part of a gallery show that turned out beautifully. I would recommend any ACAD Student to apply to this residency because it was overall a great experience.
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WEIGHTED / TO EXPEL JAIME MCDONALD
weighted / to expel (2018) is a sculpture and documented performance. Conceptually, this work was inspired by an event that led my mental health to a place that I have never experienced before. In November, I broke my leg, which was not only physically challenging, but also mentally challenging. From that point on, I have been learning how to navigate what it means to deal with mental health and how it shapes me as a person. Through a documented performance, and objects that hold significance to me, I am attempting to display what I went through and how I felt at the time. This sculpture is comprised of chains, concrete, and the crutches I used while my broken leg was healing. Not only did the crutches serve as a physical support, but they also served as a mental crutch. They were an excuse to stay inside and away from everything I was scared of. Once the crutches were embedded in concrete, their affordances were taken away and they became useless. By performing with these objects, I am both physically and mentally trying to navigate the difficulties of mental health. Despite dragging around this object I was once affixed to, I am resisting the literal weight of the concrete, as well as the weight of mental health. This process has been an exploration into what it means to be resilient.
RESPONSE STATEMENT Through the Hear/d Residency and through the love of our mentor and organizer, I was able to start understanding my mental health and how I should navigate the relationship I’ve built with it. The topic of anxiety is relatively new to me, considering I had never experienced much of it before breaking my leg in November of 2017. Although clichÊ, I believe that that accident was ultimately life changing because it forced me to grow in ways I could not have before. Additionally, it challenged me to acknowledge underlying issues I had previously ignored. Prior to becoming part of the Residency, I was ashamed of what my anxiety did to me and to my relationships. Though I am still learning how to cope, this opportunity has provided me with the multiple resources it takes to be resilient in a safe and inclusive space. Hear/d was an intimate, humble, and validating experience and I only wish for the program to grow in order to erase the stigmas that exist around mental health.
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A SYSTEM IN ITSELF KEIRAN FOSTER
A System In Itself explores the resilience it takes to of navigate the world in uncertainty through the obstacles and barriers created by mental illness. While being pulled in different directions the mind tightens and stresses in areas, while simultaneously loosening and letting go in others. The system is tangled, but my mind is unique in the way it works, the way it holds itself together, and the way I navigate the world with my own movements. The use of weaving photos of myself explores the struggles I face with psychosomatic anxiety and the push and pull relationship between my mind and body.
RESPONSE STATEMENT Through the Hear/d Residency program I was pushed to explore and become more comfortable talking openly about my mental health and well being with my fellow students and peers of the Alberta College of Art and Design community. This program allowed me a safe and comfortable environment to work towards a better understanding of the ways my mental health affects me. Anxiety has been a weight in my life since I was a child, I spent such a long time learning to hide the panic attacks and anxious thoughts from my peers and friends. I grew up thinking there was something wrong with me, and sometimes I still do, but Hear/d has given me the space and ability to grow and work towards self acceptance and understanding. This residency has given me the opportunity to talk openly about the things troubling me, while also allowing me to connect with others dealing with similar obstacles in life. I think the most useful and worthwhile part of this program was getting to be apart of a group of creatives and artists, all exploring mental health in a positive and encouraging environment, through our own practices and art forms. I am extremely grateful that I was able to be apart of this residency, It’s one of the most important programs outside of classes that I believe ACAD offers, and has given me strength to speak openly about my mental health, while letting our group of artists inspire others to be open about the issues and obstacles they may be dealing with.
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BLACK STEEL WOOL KELLEN SPENCER
BLACK STEEL WOOL represents the physical mass or weight that is often associated with symptoms of depression and mental illness. The object that I have created is what I imagine this to look like if it could be made visible in physical form. I am interested in the notion that the weighted and irritable feeling that I experience during a state of depression or anxiety, is not in fact a symptom of the illness, but rather the illness itself. By imagining mental illness as a single object that is separate from my body, I have been able to better cope with the trauma that it causes and detach myself from the idea that it is a part of who I am. With this in mind, BLACK STEEL WOOL is my most recent attempt to control the illness inside of me by making it visible, and containing it inside a frame.
RESPONSE STATEMENT Participating in the ACADSA Hear/d Residency was a particularly valuable experience because it reminded me of the unique relationships that each of us have with our mental health. I think that one of the major difficulties present in destigmatizing mental illness within our culture, is that the topic is too often considered through a general and collective lens. While it is critical that we provide support for, and acknowledge each other’s struggles with mental health, I think that mental illness is something that is ultimately personal, and at times too complex to easily divulge and honor through brief conversation. I felt that the residency provided me the opportunity to honor and affirm my own experiences with mental illness without having to share specific details, and personal histories. By focusing instead on the creation of an artwork for the exhibition, I was able to reframe my expectations about dialogue, and recognize that visibility and support can exist without direct conversation. It was also exciting to see the work of my peers progress, and I am grateful for the diversity and honesty that they brought to the residency in sharing their own experiences with mental illness. I feel fortunate to have had the chance to take part in such a unique program, and hope that it provides a precedent for other post-secondary institutions to create similar programming.
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SUIT V
MEGAN FENIAK When a human being enters the void of space, or walks the unfathomable pressure of the deep sea, tools are required for survival. Suit V is designed to guide, protect, and position the body for a metaphysical encounter. The suit is not worn to perform a physical action, but rather to posture the mind and heart in preparation for an experience. To make such a suit requires solitude and a playful ease with one’s own intuition. The curving wooden laminations of the suit are drawn from traditional Shaker carpentry techniques. I am compelled by the radical nature of handmade culture, and the ideology reflecting back through the handmade objects and architecture of isolated groups like the Shakers, whose resilience is visible through their self-reliance and DIY attitudes. Resilience for me has meant hope, even in the face of the seemingly impossible. In this work I am seeking with perhaps utopian aspiration. I want to know myself as much as I want to know what is in the universe—to make peace with the way I exist in the world. Clarity can require distance, making my work has allowed me to thoughtfully approach the existential and spiritual questions that I wrestle with.
RESPONSE STATEMENT My mental health is something I have struggled privately to maintain for a long time. I have pushed through my problems like a bulldozer for most of my academic career, attaining success often at the expense of my own health. Joining the Hear/d residency this year was, in part, a way to be more honest with myself about my needs. It has been an important step for me to feel a level of accountability to show kindness and care towards myself. Over the course of this semester, the Hear/d residency has become a surprising and life-giving support for me. The attitudes of mutual care and respect have made it a place where I feel I can be honest about what I’m struggling with, and in turn, extend support to others. I have been inspired by the group of people I got to know during this residency, and feel overwhelmed by the care and support I continue to receive from those who not long ago were strangers to me. At the end of this residency, I feel I have gained meaningful friendships, and tools for growing towards a healthier relationship to myself and my mental health.
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I TRIED, MUM ROBYN CHMELYK
My mind is often my biggest enemy. When I am feeling overwhelmed my first impulse is to go inward and isolate. This isolation is dangerous because my mind becomes a toxic prison that holds tension. However, the mind is always trying to do the best that it can to help the rest of the body function. ‘Queering’ the idea of an installation or space is something I am exploring. As a queer person I feel I am inherently a failure when it comes to social constructions of gender and sexuality. I do not fit into the normative idea of what a woman is or wants. From this place of failure, I locate a space of nothingness: if I have nothing to lose by always already being a “loser,” then the world is a place of possibility. Black is the colour of nothingness, of absence, and of true power. The ability to detect comfort in my own “dark night of the soul” has become fundamental to finding what feels like resilience for me.
RESPONSE STATEMENT “Abandon nihilism, abandon hopelessness, demand and build a better world.” -’Gender Nihilism: An Anti-Manifesto’ by Alyson Escalante The ACADSA Hear/d Residency is a place to explore the unknown. They create a space for emerging artists to take risks and fail boldly where no artist has gone before. Initially I had a strict goal for what I wanted to achieve however as time passed and other factors arose things shifted quite drastically. The community of people involved in the residency helped support me as my piece went through a metamorphosis into its final form. I aimed to create something that would benefit students and offer space for them to process their intense emotions. I wanted to find more space for my own healthy mental health amid my art practice so that I am better able to handle the ups-and-downs that come with going to school. Society commonly expects that we will work until we are overwhelmed or burnt out. This toxic expectation leads to feelings of guilt and resentment when we are not able to perform. A part of my process with this project was to become more intimate in my understanding of my own self-agency and what I need to be happy. In the interest of my own mental wellness, I allowed failure to wash over me and I accepted this as it transformed my creative. It was important for me to “queer” the process of creating and holding space through the installation. To embrace failure in all ways feels like a radical sentiment to me in the allowance it creates for non-normative identities who don’t fit into mainstream ideas of success.
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DEFICIENCY WINONA JULIAN
Throughout life, I have struggled with accepting and understanding my own mental health. Deficiency represents acceptance and liberation in regards to my own mental illness. What has helped me to accept my mental state is to think of mental illness biologically, as a deficiency within the brain. I have found that knowledge in this instance has given me more power over this deficiency. This has also helped me explain what I’m going through to others. However, what has liberated me from the shame I once held is honesty and transparency. I’m no longer ashamed to say I have struggled with mental illness. This transparency helps me to be comfortable in my own skin, and accept that I’m still learning how to coexist with mental illness. This installation embodies this learning process and also signifies my mental freedom.
RESPONSE STATEMENT Participating in this year’s Hear/d residency has made me realize just how valuable having a support system is when things get tough. Having this group of people within the residency who really understood what I was going through was a really positive and comforting experience during this particularly rough semester. I realized having people in my life that I can be honest with about my mental health really is my first step towards resilience. I also gained further awareness about just how many people struggle with their mental health. It is so important to be considerate and aware of mental health within a community. I am fully committed to being open, honest, and available to anyone in my life who may need support which is part of the reason why participating in the Hear/d residency was so meaningful to me. I would consider my relationships with people who are open to conversations about mental health to be stronger because of it. That is why I believe this residency is so important within our school community. It not only creates a support system for the people participating but also opens up the conversation for others. Through being honest and open in this residency I feel that many people who saw the exhibition were able to reconsider their relationship with mental health. By de-stigmatizing mental health issues through this residency I believe more people will feel free to take that first step towards resilience.
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MENTAL HEALTH & ADDICTIONS EMERGENCY NUMBERS & RESOURCES (CALGARY AREA) CRISIS CENTRES/ HOTLINES POLICE
COMMUNITY RESOURCES (CONTINUED)
CALGARY DISTRESS CENTRE
ACCESS MENTAL HEALTH Phone: 403-943-1500 OR 1-844-943-1500
Phone: 403-266-1234 (non-emergency) 911 (emergency) Phone: 403-266-4357
RESOURCES ON THE ACAD CAMPUS CAMPUS COUNSELLING CENTRE Location: Main Mall Website: https://acad.ca/current-students/ health-and-wellness Email: counselling@acad.ca Phone: 403.284.7666 (Counsellor) 403.338.5594 (ACAD counselling intern) CAMPUS SECURITY Phone: 403-284-7672/403-680-1451 HEALTH CENTRE (SAIT HEALTH SERVICES) Address: SAIT CAMPUS (R41, Senator Burns Building) Phone: 403-284-8666
DISTRESS CENTRE CALGARY Phone: 403-266-4357
ONLINE RESOURCES NATIVE COUNSELLING SERVICES OF ALBERTA http://www.ncsa.ca/contact/ HELPGUIDE.ORG http://www.helpguide.org CALGARY MENTAL HEALTH ASSOCIATION http://www.cmha.ca ACAD RESOURCES https://acad.ca/current-students/healthand-wellness/staying-well/mental-healthresources
COMMUNITY RESOURCES CALGARY COMMUNITIES AGAINST SEXUAL ABUSE (CCASA) Phone: 403-237-5888 CALGARY COUNSELLING CENTRE Phone: 403-691-5991 THE EASTSIDE FAMILY CENTRE Phone: 403-299-9696
CATALOGUE ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS PHOTOGRAPHY BY HALEY EYRE COVER ILLUSTRATION BY JOANNA PUNO LAYOUT BY KIAH GUTOWSKI
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Thank you to all of the Hear/d participants for your bravery in sharing your personal stories of resilience. It takes courage to stand before your community and speak about mental health, by doing so you are all playing an extremely important role in destigmatizing mental illness within the ACAD community.