Project HIM Calendar Heartland News
Empress Shelbi Anne Baker
interview by Angela Geno-Stumme Illinois Governor Quinn Signs P ro j e c t HIM creates fairy-tale images to spread the message of self acceptance without guilt, shame, or judgment. Callen Úbeda, New Media Coordinator for the Project of Primary Health Care, Inc., took the time to talk about his brainchild, the Project HIM calendar. Project HIM 2014 calendar. In its second year of production, the Project HIM 2014 calendar took inspiration from the resurgence of fairy-tales in popular culture to photograph locals from the LGBT community. Callen discusses the calendar’s inspiration, how it got started, and the calendar launch at Project HIM’s Black Party on Saturday,
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Marriage into Law
November 20th, 2013, Illinois Governor Pat Quinn signed SB10, the Religious Freedom and Marriage Fairness Act, allowing same-sex couples in Illinois to apply for marriage licenses starting June 1, 2014.
Congress Ends Blanket Ban on HIV Organ Donation
November 14, 2013, the House of Representatives passed the HIV Organ Policy Equity (HOPE) Act, a bill that will end the blanket ban on the donation of organs from HIV-positive individuals, clearing the way for transplantation of such organs into people living with HIV to become routine practice in the near future. The Act will phase in this change in two stages, first paving the way for research on such transplants and later, based on the results of that research, allowing the Secretary of Health and Human Services to authorize widespread and routine utilization of this procedure. Overturning a statutory ban in place since 1988, the bill has received strong bipartisan
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“The Gifted” interview Allies & Advocates: by Angela Geno-Stumme Rex & Carolyn Jones Iowa local Eric Bridges uses his love of comic books to convey his message of love and LGBT community. Bridges and artist Abby Beckius collaborate to create a comic book set in an alternate reality where gay lovers, John and Michael, are the main characters of the story. The world Bridges created has humanity split into “The Gifted” artwork by artist two types of people, the Abby Beckius. normal and the gifted. The gifted have extraordinary powers, which have caused tension between them and the normals. John and Michael are young lovers starting college, facing new challenges with not only their new life but a new world where one is normal and the other is gifted.
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by Angela Geno-Stumme
by Sarah Headrick Hoskins
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What’s Inside:
Section 1: News & Politics
Advertising rates From the Heartland by Donna Red Wing Remarkables by Jonathan Wilson Iowan Advocacy by Tami Haught Shrink Rap by Loren A Olson MD PFLAG - Des Moines Chapter Meeting Warren’s Words by Warren J. Blumenfeld Tis the Season for? by Tony Dillon-Hansen Minor Details by Robert Minor In the Name of Religion by Rev. Irene Monroe
Section 2: Fun Guide
Entertainment Picks for the Month 11 Becoming an Empress by Sarah Headrick Hoskins 11 Inside Out by Ellen Krug 12 Wired This Way by Rachel Eliason 13 Honor Your Body, Honor You by Davey Wavey 13 Iowa’s Gay Weddings by Scott Stevens 14 A Night to Remember 14 The Project of the Quad Cities 14 PITCH Calendar 2013 14 I.C. Kings Present: Sideshow! 15 New GOglbt Business Referral Group 16 Facing AIDS Advocacy Ad 19 Sexual Orientation: A Parents’ Perspective by C. Jones 21 The Bookworm Sez by Terri Schlichenmeyer 22 Comics and Crossword Puzzle 22-23 319 Drag Kings Novem-BEARD Show 24
Section 3: Community
Carolyn and Rex Jones. Rex and Carolyn Jones were allies and advocates of the LGBT community, who touched family and friends with their support. As parents of a gay son, Rex and Carolyn chose not only to involve themselves in PFLAG
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FFBC: Jody Jenner by Bruce Carr 25 Prime Timers of Central Iowa 25 LGBTQ Patient & Family Education and Support Groups 25 From the Pastor’s Pen by Rev. Jonathan Page 26 Ask Lambda Legal By By Thomas Ude, Jr. 26 A Church Where Everyone Is Equal by Rev. Peter Trabaris 27 Planned Parenthood of the Heartland by Sharon Miller 27 Business Directory 28-29 The Mirage Featuring the Kings & Queens of the Night 30 International Puppy Contest by Papa Woof Roth 31 Community Billboard: Classifieds 32 ACCESSline Ticket Give-Away Winners 33 ACCESSline’s Holiday Gift Guide 35
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DECEMBER 2013
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Section 1: News & Politics SScontinued from page 1
HEARTLAND NEWS support and is expected to be signed into law by President Obama.
Man arrested in hate crime attack on female relative because she is gay
Police in Lincoln, Neb., say a 20-yearold man attacked a relative with a crowbar because she’s gay, and investigators are treating the attack as a hate crime. Ahmed Mohammed Tuma was arrested Friday on suspicion of attempted assault, criminal mischief and making terrorist threats, reported the Lincoln Journal Star. The counts carry a hate crime enhancement. Police say Tuma and a friend, 20-year-old Nathan Robert Marks, decided to confront the female relative about being engaged to another woman. Police say Tuma tried to hit
the woman with a crowbar as she got out of her car. She retreated to the car and locked the door, and police say Tuma smashed her window and windshield, and then rammed her car with his pickup. The women told police they believe the men were trying to push them into traffic. Police believe religion motivated Tuma, who is Muslim, according to Officer Katie Flood. Police say Tuma indicated that he believes the woman disgraced his family.
Iowa Telemedicine Abortions Ban Blocked
On Tuesday, November 5, District Court Judge Karen Romano granted a temporary stay to block a decision passed by the Iowa Board of Medicine that would have banned the use of telemedicine abortions to women in outlying clinics.
ACCESSline Page 3
Omaha Police Looking Into Assault as Anti-Gay Hate Crime November 1, 2013, Omaha police have begun investigating an assault in the Old Market area as a hate crime. Ryan Langenegger said he was punched in the face by a man who, with some other men, had been making fun of two gay friends of Langenegger. The two had been to a drag show with Langenegger. The three later went to a restaurant in the area early Sunday morning. One of them was wearing a dress.
Sales Increase at PPH’s Fall Book Sale
Thursday, October 31, Planned Parenthood of Heartland’s Fall Book Sale raised $220,250.75–$16,000 more than the organization’s book sale last fall. More than 8,000 people from across the Midwest traveled to the Iowa State Fairgrounds for the five-day sale, finding more than 600,000 new and used books, collectibles and more. All of the money raised will support Planned Parenthood of the Heartland’s education and community outreach programs throughout Iowa, Nebraska, Arkansas and Oklahoma. The next book sale will be held March 27-31, 2014, at the Iowa State Fairgrounds.
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ACCESSline Page 4
Section 1: News & Politics
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JONES but to become PFLAG representatives in Independence, Iowa as well. They were active in Pride Parades, they lobbied the Iowa Legislature for LGBT rights, they were recognized by the Buchanan County Democrats for their involvement, participated in the ACCESS group, helped with other PFLAG groups and leaders, and were known across Iowa and the Midwest. Their children, Kendall Hallett and Kathy Finholt talk about their parents, while friends share fond memories of Rex and Carolyn. Your parents were involved with PFLAG, which group or groups were they involved in? Kendall: Their contribution to PFLAG, in my mind, was as individual PFLAG parents. They met with other parents around NE Iowa, Madison, WI, and wherever else parents, friends and allies could be found. They kept a spot in the local paper in Independence from the early 90’s, which was a courageous thing to do. They made no secret of me being gay and their support for me and all of the GLBTQ community. If there was a group around, they were probably involved! What were some of the events they were a part of ? Kendall: I marched with them in Pride parades in Madison and Minneapolis. Mom, especially, could make friends anywhere. She was a social bee, and given much time at all, she’d know something about everybody in a room. Iowa’s ‘Lobby Days’ at the capitol were big events for them. They were apparently
Kendall pictured with his parents Rex and Carolyn. Courtesy of Kendall Hallett. instrumental in forwarding Iowa’s Civil Rights law protecting GLBTQ people from discrimination in housing, education, and other areas. They were given awards for “Outstanding Democrats of the Year” by the Buchanan County Democratic Central Committee in 2011, and a “Celebrating the Human Spirit Award” by ACCESS in Northeast Iowa in 1997. Kathy: They lobbied in Des Moines quite often and were part of the original PFLAG parents lobby team. Janelle Rettig told us that when a legislator was known to be particularly hateful they would send in Mom and Dad. It was always hard for even the most homophobic legislator to be mean with them around. Mom participated in several panel discussions at UNI
also. Mom and Dad witnessed Chet Culver signing the bill adding sexual orientation to the civil right law. They were also guests at both of Kate and Trish Varnum’s weddings. What were their views on LGBT equality? Kathy: When Kendall first came out Mom was quick to admit she did not handle it well. Dad was a little more laid back. Kendall gave them a book, “Beyond Acceptance”, and Mom started learning, read more books and eventually became a very involved advocate for gay rights. Kendall: Dad didn’t offer a lot of his thoughts, even at home, but he was always there behind Mom. His support was unquestionable. Mom wasn’t a proponent
DECEMBER 2013 of gay marriage at first, leaning toward an ‘equal’ kind of civil partnership. But as time passed she recognized the inequality of anything less than marriage. I think the recognition that anything separate is not equal extended to all their beliefs. Can you tell me a memory you have of them and their work for the LGBT community? Kendall: One of the most profound things I think they did, was having a poster up in a locked glass case at the local high school with their telephone number writ large so a student could memorize it from the far side of the hall. I’ve explained many times that when I was in high school, I was so wrapped up in denial and self-loathing I would never have called. Yet on some level, knowing it was there would have given me a great deal of peace. I know in my heart that that poster made a difference for dozens of kids who never called. A few kids did call, but Mom always kept confidentiality a priority. Mom and Dad were ‘out’ in small-town Iowa. That took some courage, and I never failed to appreciate that. I never pushed them to activism, but I encouraged them in what they did on their own initiative. Mom and Dad were far more of an activist than I have ever been. Kathy: How happy they were for Kate and Trish when the Varnum vs. Brien ruling was announced. One of the things they focused on was helping people, especially teenagers; deal with family issues, coming out, and how to talk to their parents/families. Mom would spend hours on the phone or in person
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DECEMBER 2013
Section 1: News & Politics
ACCESSline Page 5
From the Heartland by Donna Red Wing, Executive Director One Iowa A Night at the Emergency Room
Picture this. We are in the Emergency Room at nine at night. I am suffering from what will eventually be diagnosed as a raging kidney infection and large kidney stones. Without going into graphic detail you already know that I am in excruciating pain, I have a fever, uncontrollable shivering, and I am both hemorrhaging and vomiting. I try to appear cool and calm as I sit in that barely upholstered oatmeal colored chair with a group of strangers who are also in varying degrees of pain, fear or desperation. I am sure that clutching my side, making sounds associated with unbelievable discomfort, running for the bathroom and emerging ashen-faced and shaking do nothing for that hoped-for cool demeanor. I am asked for the third time my pain level. For the third time I reply that it is between eight and nine on a scale that stops at ten. I try not to screech or sound contrite or impolite. Just as the people at the gate at an airport have all the power, the person at the ER desk and her cohorts have all the power and will decide the schedule around when you get in and get taken care of. I am finally brought into a room where they take my temperature. Yes,
it is spiking. Blood pressure and heart rate are good. I try to explain all of my symptoms but they tell me that a doctor will see me. In a little while. I go back into the waiting room. I think of Arlo Guthrie ‘on the bench’ in Alice’s Restaurant, a song that I am thinking about cranking up for Thanksgiving. Finally, I get into a room where I am assigned to a bunch of professionals. I throw on the hospital gown also known as a jonny and understand why Tori Amos designed a new line just in time for her latest stint in childbirth. Does some powerful syndicate have a lock on these ridiculous garments and is there someone who actually designs the print patterns? A great Doc takes charge, a no nonsense women who gets right down to business. In minutes, I have answered questions and I have been sticked, poked and prodded as blessed painkillers and liquids are being introduced into my veins. I introduce my wife to the assembled professionals because she can probably answer my questions better than I can, now and certainly once the pain meds kick in. Everyone leaves except the nurse. She is a kind young woman who just moved here from Arizona. As she is adjusting the ‘drip’ she asks if she can ask a personal question. She asks if our marriage is real. In my work in Iowa I have spent a lot
of time with some amazing LGBT health activists, people with whom I work to try to make sure that healthcare providers across the state are culturally competent and will deal with LGBTQ folks with respect and with dignity. A recent LGBT health and wellness survey we conducted together with state-wide focus groups, tells us that LGBTQ Iowans are not taking care of themselves. They are not getting the tests they need. They are not seeing health professionals. And one of the primary reasons for this lack of care is the inadequacy of the professionals and their organizations to create safe and relevant spaces for our community. From the forms we fill out (I do not want to scratch out the word husband and add wife on every form) to how we are treated and how our families are treated; these are real barriers. That a healthcare professional in a major metropolitan hospital in Iowa does not know that marriage equality has been a part of this state for more than four years is unacceptable. I always look for teachable moments everyplace and everywhere. But this time, I almost cried. And so from the ER hospital bed, in my stupid jonny, I started to explain Varnum v. Brien and the Supreme Court ruling on DOMA and what it meant in all of its glory. My wonderful wife filled in the blanks because, well, I was beginning to get a little loopy and when I am a little loopy I don’t edit much. The nurse, who was a lovely woman, got a lesson in equality and a lesson about Iowa. Good for her. But that’s not the point, is it? Anyone who deals with the public anywhere in Iowa should know and
to avoid such discrimination simply by conforming to lawful behavior. Now get this. According to the 2010 US Census there are now 4,800,000 mixed-race marriages in the United States. If we project they’ll each have a couple of kids on average, we’re talking about 9,600,000 immediate off-spring of mixedrace marriage. No matter whom they marry and procreate with, their off-spring will be of mixedrace. In two generations, we’ll be at about 20,000,000 or more mixed-race citizens, and that number will continue to grow exponentially as America continues to “brown.” To the point: what is the race of those children of mixed-race couples? Put another way; is our President Black or White? The day was when the courts defined as Negro anyone that had “one drop” of Negro blood, while some courts magnanimously limited the definition to one thirty-second or one-sixteenth or one-eighth Black ancestry. Those days of contrivance are long over. I made friends years ago with a college president who served on a national board with me. At some point he mentioned
that he was a minority representative on the board. I asked him what minority he represented and he said he was Black. By pigmentation, I noted that he was as white as I am. He smiled, gently, and taught me that “Black” has little to do with skin color and more to do with who your parents and grandparents were, and what your life experience and identification have been. More than ever before, and more and more with each generation and regeneration of mixed-race couples, racial identification is a choice. No definitional box can be applied to everyone. If it matters, inquiry must be made of individuals to determine what race they have chosen? They may choose mixed-race or bi-racial, but it’s a choice none the less. Does that fact of choice regarding race impact the entitlement to protection against discrimination based on race? Of course not. Any protected characteristic not being a choice isn’t a legitimate precondition to legal protection, and never has been. That pretext for opposing civil rights protections for gay citizens has always
That a healthcare professional in a major metropolitan hospital in Iowa does not know that marriage equality has been a part of this state for more than four years is unacceptable.
Remarkables by Jonathan Wilson It’s a Choice; It’s Not a Choice; Does It Matter?
There have been those who object to advances in the civil equality movement for gay and lesbian children of God, particularly to civil rights protections against discrimination based on actual or perceived sexual orientation. Many insist that such protections aren’t appropriate because sexual orientation is supposedly a choice, “not like race.” The supposed logic of that rationale is that because people cannot choose their race, the fact that they are persons of color should not be held against them; they can’t help it that they’re black, Hispanic, Asian, Native American, whatever. Interesting. It’s rather like saying that, could they choose, they’d choose to be Caucasian; and since they can’t make that obviously preferred racial choice, discrimination against them based on that “immutable” characteristic should be prohibited. Correspondingly, there continues a debate of sorts over whether sexual orientation is similarly an immutable characteristic. So the argument goes with folks who think it’s a choice, it’s okay to discrimination against gay people because they can avoid the discrimination by simply choosing to be straight. Rather like it being okay to discriminate against felons because they have it within themselves
Donna Red Wing is the Executive Director of One Iowa. She served as Executive Director of Grassroots Leadership, as Chief of Staff at Interfaith Alliance, she was a member of the Obama’s kitchen cabinet on LGBT concerns, and was Howard Dean’s outreach liaison to the LGBT communities. Red Wing was the first recipient of the Walter Cronkite Award for Faith & Freedom. Red Wing serves on the national board of the Velvet Foundation, which is building the national LGBT museum in Washington, DC. Contact Donna at OneIowa.org or donna@oneiowa.org. respect that same gender marriage is the law. I don’t care where they are politically. I don’t care whether their religion celebrates or condemns marriage equality. No one should have to decide whether or not to offer a civics lesson in the middle of his or her emergency care. Two days later, making an important follow-up appointment, at yet another major health facility, I was asked to answer a few new patient questions. “Are you married?” “Yes”, I replied. “And what is your husband’s name?”
Rather like it being okay to discriminate against felons because they have it within themselves to avoid such discrimination simply by conforming to lawful behavior.
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Jonathan Wilson is an attorney at the Davis Brown Law Firm in Des Moines, and chairs the First Friday Breakfast Club (ffbciowa.org), an educational, non-profit corporation for gay men in Iowa who gather on the first Friday of every month to provide mutual support, to be educated on community affairs, and to further educate community opinion leaders with more positive images of gay men. It is the largest breakfast club in the state of Iowa. He can be contacted at JonathanWilson@DavisBrownLaw.com.
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Section 1: News & Politics
DECEMBER 2013
Iowan Advocacy by Tami Haught Judged, Stigmatized, and Stereotyped
As I prepare to recognize World AIDS Day on Dec. 1st, I was trying to think what I wanted to share in this month’s issue of ACCESSline. I could give the history of why WAD was created in 1988 by the World Health Organization, or I could share something a little more personal. I decided on the personal, hope you all don’t mind. This story I wrote 5 years ago, it doesn’t seem possible it has been that long since I wrote it. These feelings can come back at any given moment depending on events of the day, minute, or second. No matter how strong I am, I would be lying if I didn’t say situations like this can still negatively affect me. Granted I don’t let it happen often, but every once in awhile it does (I am human after all). Hope you get an understanding of thoughts and actions that I feel living with HIV. Why is it after 15 years of being positive, I was so shocked when I was treated like a person? I had a very interesting appointment on Monday, I went to the U of I for some tests, and of course the technician was someone I had never met before. As I do with every technician, not because I have to but because I have found out it is just easier, I told her that
I was positive. I guess after 15 years, I assumed that everyone knew that when someone says that they are positive, it means HIV positive. The technician asked what I meant when I said I was positive, I told her I have been HIV positive for 15 years. Her reaction was one that I don’t remember hearing at all or for a long time when I told someone I was positive, actually I was speechless for a few minutes (and those of you who know me that doesn’t happen a lot). She said simply, “God bless you, how are you doing?” I was so shocked by this, because it isn’t the first question most people ask. It’s usually, “How did you get it? Or what did you do?” But not t his technician, she simply asked how I was doing. She asked if I was stigmatized by healthcare personnel very often. I said I feel the healthcare profession is some of the worst. To which she simply said, “Why? It can happen to anyone.” I think one of the biggest reasons why Iowa is a low incidence state, is the belief that it’s not supposed to be here (in Iowa). After 25 years and there are still technicians who do not use universal precautions and blame
us/me when I don’t tell them my status, like that is my job. One the 2 ½ hour drive home, which gives me a long time to think, I asked myself, When did being judged, stigmatized, and stereotyped become my normal? When did it become acceptable? Why was I shocked into silence by being treated like a human being? The only answer I came up with was 15 years ago, after I was first diagnosed and I asked myself these same questions, is that I guess I still deep down still ask these questions. Even though I now go into schools, churches, or other settings and try to educate and inform others that HIV is the only thing in this world that is truly non-discriminatory. HIV doesn’t care about what the color of your skin is, your age, sex, financial status, or your last name. It doesn’t matter if you have slept with 1 person or 100 people, it takes one time, one time of putting yourself at risk and you can contract HIV. I guess, it made me wonder when I am going to finally forgive myself, stop blaming myself, and truly believe that I am a person worthy of respect and concern, the same as
• •
have with this. As I wrote in Finally Out: Letting Go of Living Straight, after I divorced my wife, it was perhaps five years before we could sit down and comfortably discuss what we felt as a consequence of my coming out. As I write this, now over 25 year later, I am pleased to say we are once again good friends. But for a number of years, we could not have been comfortably in the same room together. At this time, you both will need support, and you cannot be there for each other to deal with it. She needs friends who can embrace her, and you do as well. Most of your mutual friends may turn against you because you will be seen as the betrayer. As a newcomer to the gay community, you may not yet have a community of friends who will be supportive of you. Seek them out. Organizations like “Prime Timers” can introduce you to others who have been through this experience. You may find, as I did, that you are much more capable of developing better friendships with men now that you can live a whole-hearted and authentic life. Before I came out I isolated myself from other men because I didn’t want them to know me deeply; I didn’t want them to discover my secret. Mark Twain wrote, “Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” Forgiveness does not guarantee a return of trust or reconciliation in a relationship, but it is fundamental to healing from the damages when one has been hurt by another. For forgiveness and rapprochement between you and your wife, you will both need to understand the pain that you each are experiencing because of this life changing event.
When did being judged, stigmatized, and stereotyped become my normal?
Shrink Rap by Loren A Olson MD Dr. Olson, I am forty, married and have two small children. I just came out to my wife and parents. My wife is very angry and asked me to leave. We have a lot we need to talk about but she won’t talk about anything except having to do with the children. What should I do? Confused Dear Confused, This is a confusing and difficult time for all of you. Too often we think that coming out is an event; one day we’re in and the next day we’re out. But coming out is a process that will go on for a very long time. Once we make the difficult decision to come out, we are often confident about our decision and somewhat proud of how strong we’ve been to have taken this difficult step. We’ve thought about it for a long time and suffered the pain of dissonance from having lived a lie. Research in the area of forgiveness demonstrates that the crucial issues in working through the pain experienced at the hand of another are: • Severity of the offense • Degree of commitment to the relationship • Degree to which the offender is sincerely apologizing • Conciliatory behavior
Capacity for forgiveness Personalities of each individual Don’t expect those you love and who love you to feel celebratory about your coming out. In many cases this will be new information to them, and their struggle with acceptance is only just beginning. Some others may have suspected it, but now that you’ve confronted their suspicions with facts, they can no longer deny the reality of it. Of course you wife is angry. Her world has been turned up-sidedown. No matter how good or bad your relationship was, the fantasy if not the reality of living the dream is no longer possible. Most spouses who find themselves in this position initially blame themselves. “If I’d been a better wife/husband, this would never have happened.” And then they begin to deal with feelings of shame as they share this information with their friends and family. “If YOU would have been a better spouse...” Even if they know that they are not responsible, the feelings of shame and guilt are present. So you need to give your wife some time. Deal now with issues related to the children to minimize the difficulty they will
anyone and everyone else. It’s time I stop accepting the judging, stigmatizing, and stereotyping as my normal and demand being treated as the human being I am.
We’ve thought about it for a long time and suffered the pain of dissonance from having lived a lie.
PFLAG - Des Moines Chapter Meeting The Des Moines Chapter of Parents & Friends of Lesbians & Gays (PFLAG) will meet at 6:30 pm at the Unitarian Universalist Church, 1800 Bell Avenue Des Moines, IA 50315 on the third Tuesday of every month. The meeting begins with a short business meeting followed by an educa-
Tami Haught has been living with HIV for almost 20 years. She is the CHAIN Community Organizer, President for PITCH, and new member of the SERO Project Board of Directors. Tami started speaking out about her HIV status when her son started school hoping that providing education and facts would make life easier for her son, by fighting the stigma, discrimination, isolation, and criminalization people living with HIV/AIDS face daily. Contact info: tami. haught2012@gmail.com website: www.pitchiowa.com
tional presentation, and a social and support session. All are welcome! Made up of parents, families, friends, and straight allies uniting with lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) people, PFLAG is committed to advancing equality through its mission of support, education and advocacy.
Loren A. Olson MD is a board certified psychiatrist in the clinical practice of psychiatry for over 35 years. Dr. Olson has conducted research on mature gay and bisexual men for his book, Finally Out: Letting Go of Living Straight, a Psychiatrist’s Own Story. He has presented on this subject at conferences across the United States and Internationally. His blog, MagneticFire. com, has a strong following among mature gay and bisexual men. He established Prime Timers of Central Iowa, a social organization for mature gay/bisexual men. For more information go to FinallyOutBook.com or contact him on Facebook.com. Healing is composed of two parts: Letting go of the anger toward the offender, and looking toward reconciliation. Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting, nor does it mean that you’re saying that what the offender did was all right; it just means that you have let go of the anger you have toward another. For now, you wife’s anger is expected and normal. Accept it as valid. Let her heal but know that you cannot be the one to help her heal. Whether or not you like it, you are the heel that crushed the violet; hopefully the fragrance will lead to both of you becoming stronger and forgiving.
DECEMBER 2013
Section 1: News & Politics
ACCESSline Page 7
Warren’s Words by Warren J. Blumenfeld “…then I am a proud Socialist!”
By Warren J. Blumenfeld Even before the Cold War and the so-called “McCarthy Period” (named after Wisconsin Senator, Joseph McCarthy), individuals and groups on the political and theocratic Right have flung the term “Socialist” from their metaphoric sling shots into the faces of their political opponents to discredit their characters and dismiss their political ideas and policies, and to sway the electorate toward a Conservative agenda. This continues to this very day as evidenced by the Tea Party’s representations of President Obama and various other Democratic politicians. As destructive and as freedom-killing as the Right would have us believe, according to the World English Dictionary, Socialism involves “a theory or system of social organization that advocates the vesting of the ownership and control of the means of production and distribution, of capital, land, etc., in the community as a whole,” where each of us has a stake and advances in the success of our collective economy. No country in the world today stands as a fully Socialist state, but rather, some of the most successful economies combine elements of Capitalism with Socialism to create greater degrees of equity and lesser disparities between the rich, the poor, and those on the continuum in between. I, therefore, would say to those who thrust the term “Socialist” as an epithet, if a Socialist is one who advocates for a governmental single-payer quality universal health care system, which includes safe and reasonably-priced prescription and over-the-counter drug therapies, then I am a proud Socialist! If a Socialist is one who demands that our country protects and enhances our Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid safety nets, then I am a proud Socialist! If a Socialist is one who advocates
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for the further nationalization of our parks, forests, mountains, rivers, streams, shores, and off-shore waters, rather than allocating increased corporate mining, drilling, and timber rights, then I am a proud Socialist! If a Socialist is one who advocates for free and quality education, not only through grade 12, but throughout higher education and after for everyone who desires and works to achieve their fullest potential, then I am a proud Socialist! If a Socialist is one who advocates for a governmentsponsored program that guarantees our seniors a retirement system that ensures a high quality of life free from economic burdens, then I am a proud Socialist! If a Socialist is one who advocates for the rights of workers to organize and to collectively bargain for better wages and working conditions, then I am a proud Socialist! If a Socialist is one who battles to eliminate workplace and larger societal inequalities based on race, nationality, citizenship status, age, sex, sexual identity, gender expression, disability, socioeconomic standing, religion, and other social identities, then I am a proud Socialist! If a Socialist is one who works to ensure that everyone is guaranteed a comfortable and secure place to live, and one who fights against a banking system that forecloses people’s homes through scurrilous business practices, then I am a proud Socialist! If a Socialist is one who supports effective governmental regulations on food producers to safeguard our food supply
and protect against the maltreatment of animals, and on corporations, companies, and individuals to defend our environment, then I am a proud Socialist! If a Socialist is one who supports severe restrictions on the political process to prevent mammoth contributions by individuals and corporations to buy and own politicians to influence public policy, while locking out individuals and groups unable to amass large political funds, then I am a proud Socialist! If a Socialist is one who challenges a military industrial complex that marches to the beat of industry, and a prison industrial complex that perpetuates the racial and socioeconomic class inequities pervasive throughout the society, then I am a proud Socialist! If a Socialist is one who contests and advocates for effective restrictions on the so-called “free market” economic system that enables the creation and enhancement of mega monopolies, outsourcing of jobs, manufacture of defective products, and inhibition in the development of clean renewable energy technologies, then I am a proud Socialist! If a Socialist is one who demands a true progressive tax structure where everyone pays their fair share, one that inhibits massive inequities in the overwhelming accumulation of wealth by the top one percent of the nation as is currently the case, then I am a VERY proud Socialist! This year, the Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development conducted its “Better Life Index” to determine the “happiest countries in the world,” according to its residents. Based on an 11-measure survey assessing quality
If a Socialist is one who battles to eliminate workplace and larger societal inequalities based on race, nationality, citizenship status, age, sex, sexual identity, gender expression, disability, socioeconomic standing, religion, and other social identities, then I am a proud Socialist!
PROJECT HIM December 14th. The 2014 Calendar is fairy-tale inspired, how did that theme get chosen? The last calendar was a lot more risqué–it was a tongue-in-cheek and literal interpretation of sexual acts, for example we painted a shower gold to depict “golden shower”, a young guy eating Twinkie to depict “twinks”–it was all in good fun. The message behind it was that whatever you’re into; Project HIM is here to support you. It ties in with our no shame, no judgment approach to sexual health education and HIV testing. We came up with the idea around the time the last calendar went to print. I was really inspired by Annie Liebovitz’ work with the Disney theme park adverts. At the same time, there is a resurgence of fairy-tale in pop culture, with shows like “Once Upon A Time” and movies like “Snow White and the Huntsman” and “Mirror Mirror”. I thought that it would be a good concept for the calendar—it’s less controversial. At the same time, it would
Project HIM 2014 calendar. be kind of fun if we did a gender reversal they seem to have these life lessons that angle to it–casting men as the princesses. are universal–and they fit in with the The rest of my team loved the idea, message that we’re trying to spread. It but we needed to tie it in with our mission. is about self acceptance without guilt, The great thing about fairy-tales is that shame, and judgment.
Warren J. Blumenfeld is author of Warren’s Words: Smart Commentary on Social Justice (Purple Press); editor of Homophobia: How We All Pay the Price (Beacon Press), and co-editor of Readings for Diversity and Social Justice (Routledge) and Investigating Christian Privilege and Religious Oppression in the United States (Sense). www.warrenblumenfeld.com of life, including housing, income, jobs, community, education, the environment, health, work-life balance, and life satisfaction, all the Scandinavian countries, plus The Netherlands and Austria, and only one North American country, plus Australia and Israel reached the top 10 countries. Included in descending order are number one, Denmark, followed by Canada (which provides a single-payer health care system unlike its North American neighbor, the United States), Norway, Australia, The Netherlands, Sweden, Switzerland, Finland, Israel, and Austria. I am saddened, but definitely not surprised, that the United States did not make the cut. Therefore, we might do well to look to these countries for some of their “Socialist” policies that sustain high levels of quality of life issues for their residents. So, I will never again allow those who wish to continue the economic and social status quo to use the term “Socialist” as a means of intimidation flung as an epithet, but, rather, I welcome and embrace the term as a declaration of empowerment, pride, and hope for a better social structure in a better tomorrow.
This is the second year for the calendar, what changes have been made from the previous year? There are a lot more people in it! I feel that there is a good representation from the community—there is more diversity. Seeing how well the community responded to the last calendar, we knew that this calendar would receive a wonderful response. Since we knew going into it that the response would be positive, we were able to allocate a lot more of our time and energy into making sure that the content and graphic quality were a lot higher than the last calendar. I for one am very happy with how it turned out! How did the calendar project get started? It was my brainchild. It makes good marketing and advertising sense. A calendar is something that most people would keep for the entire year—they’ll be reminded of us and our services everyday! The calendar was also a good way to unite many members of the community together for a project that hadn’t been done for many years. What is the goal of this project?
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Section 1: News & Politics
DECEMBER 2013
Tis the Season for? by Tony Dillon-Hansen When we come to this time of the year, we encounter many religious inferences and celebrations like Christian birth, Jewish rituals, Buddhist enlightenment, European traditions in addition to the many different religious observations and festivals surrounding the winter solstice. The symbols and beliefs share common threads showcasing how mystical light that does not yield to the mystical shadow of darkness (e.g. northern stars, enlightenment, casting out demons, and festival of lights). Notwithstanding the commercialization exhibited during the “holiday season”, each of these festivals also pleads to the compassionate heart of humanity to pursue ideas of virtue, love and sharing over greed, hate and destruction. It is clear that mystical adventure and imagination have been pervasive throughout human societies for many civilizations, and we love to mark occasions of physical world changing with these feelings of spiritual change. Yet, whether one observes religion during this time, technology seems to want to replace those mystical beings and traditions with virtual ones. Perhaps, we consider how we can improve for the next year and more. With all of the pleasantries surrounding the festivals and rhetorical expressions of good will, we should consider how we can make these themes of the season last more than a day, a month or even the few hours when gifts are exchanged. The living natures of religious doctrines are flawed dreams of humanity, and yet, these doctrines give something to aspire to be and a definition of a good life for
which people can strive. We should also understand how technology may challenge those aspirations with its own via instant knowledge distributed over the wireless Internet as one appropriately called it, “the digital now.” The marvel of technology is great, but the answers to basic questions remain. As Marie Curie remarked, “One never notices what is done, one can only see what remains to be done.” While we are so connected in the world of tech, we are searching and looking for answers. Yet, if we equate technology with science, George Bernard Shaw suggests that science “...never solves a problem without creating 10 more.” Shaw’s point is more relevant today because we not only have instant access to good data but also bad data. We may share our information both to the delight of our families and friends as well as those who mean to harm us. The data is surrounded by the multitude of advertising, logos, and useless headlines enticing us to stay distracted longer. The purpose of email morphs from just getting your messages from friends but finding out ways that companies can enrich your life or satisfy your hungers. Social media is more than reacquainting with long-lost friends but more about how you identify with a marketing segment and how you can improve your self-image by following this person or that brand. Some even invoke religion for you with iconic holiday images and sayings. Along with having many devices that serve to keep one connected to the grid and all of the ads for buying even more or better devices to identify you at the altar
This has become the season of technology because being connected is emphasized even more during this season with companies looking to pad their margins.
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THE GIFTED Author Eric Bridges was born in Virginia but grew up in Iowa. He fell in love with comics at a young age and relates to X-men because of his feelings of being an outcast. Abby Beckius was born and lives in Illinois. She has always had a soft spot in her heart for comics and art, and is a student at Illinois Institute of Art (ILIS). The two met via a website and decided to collaborate, both believing in the idea and the message of “The Gifted”. Bridges takes the time to discuss LGBT characters in comics, and his inspiration and goals for “The Gifted”. Why did you decide to create an LGBT oriented comic book? Well, I decided to do an LGBT comic book for two reasons. One, I am LGBT. It is a part of my life and I think that it’s good for me to express that through a creative outlet. Two, I feel that comic books and superhero’s are very slim in the LGBT community. There isn’t really anything available for people of the LGBT community besides a handful of characters. Even then, the characters that are LGBT are not really focused on except for Batgirl. I wanted to bring out the world that I live in and mainstream it to everyone. Do you feel LGBT characters are
“The Gifted” artwork by artist Abby Beckius. positively portrayed in today’s comics? Yes and no. I feel that they are becoming more prevalent and known, but it still has a long way to go. I never thought that there would be a gay marriage X-Men issue but it happened and I am grateful for that. I feel we are portrayed right as a community when we are focused on but we are not focused on very much. What other comics have influenced
of the Internet, this has become the season of technology because being connected is emphasized even more during this season with companies looking to pad their margins. There are plenty of opportunities to distract oneself with the digital now, but during the holiday season, one should recognize what is important, whether you believe there is a religious aspect or not. Enjoy the time with people rather than immersing in digital realms. Thanks to revelations of pervasive government and corporate surveillance, maybe we should not digitally convert those experiences from today, the few moments from now, or from our past into the digital archives. There is a wealth of understanding that is here in the present. With the prevalence of digital archiving done today by everyone, we can easily lose sight of the process, the people, the smells, the irritations, the places, and other nuances that make the moment worthy of remembering. Thus, we could lose the ability to understand why. (Sometimes, there is no explanation or picture that can encapsulate the now.) Through various news, contacts and other digital distractions, we may scuttle reality into the spaces between the binary digits. Then, the philosophy around God may disappear along with other graceful ethics. Then, the truth and compassion of the human spirit becomes easy to manipulate and hide behind rhetorical claims, narcissism, marketing, and flat lies. Whether one celebrates the traditional festivals of Samhain, of Jesus, or of just the season, the digital experience wraps around us in a way that insulates us, and we still are wondering why we are here and what our identity is. One cannot ignore the relevance of the teachings of many of the many philosophies and religions to do good and to honor good work. The Internet and technology offers us
your artistic style? Hack/Slash, Young Avengers, Batman, and X-Men. How has your life impacted the story line of your comic? I am LGBT so that had a big influence, but the story deals with people feeling outside and wanting to just be normal. But they can’t because they weren’t made that way, which is something that took me a long time to come to terms with. Also, is about love. Loving yourself and feeling loved, which is something that wasn’t always in my life but now I feel that I have overcome those things. I guess you could say that this is my life in a way. Your two protagonists are the lovers John and Michael, why did you decide to have one gifted and one normal? Well, I can’t give away too much but there is a reason for it. The dynamic of one feeling outside the norm and the other trying to deal with that comes into play quite a bit in the story. The pressure for these two characters to keep their relationship together even though they are different is a dynamic that works well. What makes you decide to add a new character and
Tony E Dillon-Hansen is a web developer, organizer, researcher, writer, martial artist, and vocalist from Des Moines. For more information go to tigersnapdragons.com. instead distractions and wayward paths. Religion, by itself, may have brought pain and hardship to many throughout history, but we are easily replacing the sanctuary of church with the instance of technology that shields us from nothing and even more leaves us with fewer answers about ourselves. Our interactions and communication can embrace real love and courage when we are willing to believe in the human spirit. Yet, the truth of why we are here may never be fully answered, but one reality is that our family, friends and community are here today and that is true. Our legacy can endure through them beyond the distortions of digital symbols or any 15 minutes of fame. What we learn from them and what life unfolds for us is a measure of our expectations and our effort to physically, spiritually and mentally discover in reality. May many beautiful and happy wintry wishes of the holiday season be with you and your family. May this season bring you gifts of peace, hope, and joy for today as well as through the year to come.
what process do you go through? To be honest, they come in my dreams. When I was thinking of this idea, I had a dream that laid out the whole story from start to finish. I knew the characters because they showed up and each one of them had a role and a story to play. It sounds crazy, I know, but it the truth. What are your hopes for “The Gifted”? I hope that people will give this a chance and really get the message of love that it’s trying to promote. I want to change the world for the better and make it a place for everyone. I think that this is the start. The first issue of “The Gifted” will be released by the end of January 2014. For more information go to Facebook.com/ thegiftedcomic.
DECEMBER 2013
Section 1: News & Politics
ACCESSline Page 9
Minor Details by Robert Minor Even ENDA Is Just Another Beginning
The good news is that the Employment Non-Discrimination Act finally passed the US Senate on November 7, 2013. By a 64 to 32 vote, the upper house of Congress endorsed adding sexual orientation and gender identity to the reasons one cannot legally deny human beings employment. Specifically, ENDA prohibits private employers with over 15 employees from discriminating on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity. Religious organizations are exempt, as they were in the Civil Rights Act of 1964, as are non-profit membership-only clubs. It’s unlikely the House will even discuss ENDA, given that Republican Speaker John Boehner won’t bring it up, saying there’s “no basis or need” for legalizing protection of LGBT people and that it would lead to “frivolous lawsuits.” As usual, Republican leadership is out of touch with the majority of Americans— over 70% support ending LGBT workplace discrimination. Actually, the greatest threat to ENDA might not be religious. The challenge will be from right-wingers such as libertarians who don’t believe the government should impose any limitations on business. Since Ronald Regan vowed to break the union movement, employees have been losing legal protections to a government that is increasingly doing
the corporate bidding when it comes to how business treats its workers. It’s funny how these libertarians seldom argue against government interference, regulations, and subsidies that promote business. They often sound like Republicans who just want to legally smoke pot and have free sex. ENDA represents only one part of the multiple worker protections needed if there is going to be a chance to have a middle class in America. Even large investment fund managers are showing signs of worry about a growing gap between America’s haves and have-nots. And as Senator Bernie Sanders illustrated it: “Today the Walton family of Walmart own more wealth than the bottom 40 percent of America.” So many of the jobs created since the crash of 2008 caused by big banks that have since benefited from it, are low paying. A 2012 report from the National Employment Law Project concluded that while a majority of jobs lost during the downturn were in the middle range of wages, a majority of those added during the recovery have been low paying. Consider, then, the low-wage workers movement. Fast food and service industry workers represent one group of people who most threaten American business. Big business can’t outsource their jobs to another country, or even to the state next door. These businesses are stuck here. And they know it. They need workers to serve the public.
They often sound like Republicans who just want to legally smoke pot and have free sex.
So they must deal with American workers who they’d rather keep needy, desperate and competing with each other. Even though these companies make multi-million dollar profits and their CEOs make around $80,000 a day, their policies are to do so without passing any of their success on to their workers whose average age is 28 with 70% 20 years old or older. And though we might eat a slightly cheaper hamburger or pizza on the backs of these workers, that’s actually deceptive. For because they pay so little, federal subsidies to these workers mean we’re adding about $4.00 an hour to each worker out of federal taxes we pay. And that figure doesn’t even count state and local government and charitable contributions keeping them alive. A study released in October by economists at the University of Illinois at Champaign-Urbana and the University of California at Berkeley’s Labor Center reported that it costs taxpayers seven billion dollars a year for Medicaid, food stamps and other federally-funded public assistance programs for fast-food workers who are paid povertylevel wages. McDonald’s, for example, posted $1.5 billion in third-quarter profits (that’s profits, not income) while taxpayers paid $1.2 billion in 2012 for public assistance to its workforce. That’s $300 million per quarter, a 20 percent contribution to the company’s bottom line. Fast food workers and other low-paid service industry employees—much of the future of the American workforce—LGBT or not, have therefore decided to change this, beginning with rallies and plain old long-term organizing. They’re asking for a living wage of $15 an hour. Big business and its allies are fighting back, knowing that if these workers are successful, then there’s hope for any group of employees to join together for their mutual benefit. In fact, if low-wage workers are given such an increase, business knows that everyone’s pay will have to increase. It might even come to compare to Australia’s minimum wage of $16.68 an hour. And this hasn’t stifled Australia’s economic growth at all—they’ve had no recession in 20 years. The old arguments that raising the minimum wage will hurt employment, etc, are failing. Rigorous research now shows little evidence of job reductions from a higher minimum wage. In a 2013 survey by the
Robert N. Minor, Ph.D., Professor Emeritus of Religious Studies at the University of Kansas, is author of When Religion Is an Addiction; Scared Straight: Why It’s So Hard to Accept Gay People and Why It’s So Hard to Be Human and Gay & Healthy in a Sick Society. Contact him at www.FairnessProject.org. University of Chicago’s Booth School of Business, leading economists agreed by a nearly 4 to 1 margin that the benefits of raising and indexing the minimum wage outweigh its costs. Business and government won’t easily change. They represent the owning class. We have the best Congress money can buy—47% of them are already millionaires, and others will retire millionaires through congressional connections. So ENDA would be just a beginning. LGBT people need not only to be protected on their jobs; they need to have good jobs with descent benefits. In any movement, the majority of its members are working class. The images of LGBT people, though, are more often not. The marriage equality movement has taken first place for a while. Its benefits redound to all classes of LGBT people but especially those who are privileged to never worry about job discrimination. ENDA takes us deeper into the community. But our solidarity with the larger work force and the winning of good jobs, well-paying jobs, jobs that pay living wages, is what will make not being fired for ones sexual orientation or gender identity really worthwhile. Just think of that.
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Section 1: News & Politics
DECEMBER 2013
In the Name of Religion by Rev. Irene Monroe Monogamous: To Be or Not to Be?
The one thing you don’t expect to see in any of the Bible Belt states (where most have amended their constitutions to define marriage between one man and one woman) is an organization promoting polyamory. Last month at Atlanta’s Pride Parade the group “Atlanta Polyamory Inc.” did just that—and in the wide open light of day. The result was the shock, awe, and disgust of a mixed group. Atlanta Polyamory Inc.’s purplelettered banner read:”Polyamory: Having simultaneous close emotional relationships with two or more other individuals.” While many religious conservatives might argue that the legalization of samegender marriage and shows like HBO’s “Big Love”—about a fictional polygamist Mormon family plant seeds to destroy the conventional family unit,—we have to ask ourselves is monogamy a natural instinct in us or is it a social construct which was obviously devised to protect and to regulate the institution of heterosexual marriage? To be non-monogamous in this culture carries pejorative and judgmental connotations for both heterosexuals and LGBTQs. It assumes sexual promiscuity, a sex and love addiction as well as the inability to achieve emotional and sexual intimacy. But it also ignores the reality that some people really are polyamorous, and their ability to love more than one person at a time is not about a lust-fest for them. Deepak Chopra, a renowned spiritual master and director for educational programs at the Chopra Center for Well Being in California states, “As far as
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PROJECT HIM The goal is to promote Project HIM and our services. In the process, it promoted solidarity within the people who were involved in the creation of it—from the models and the crew. There were people that wouldn’t have had the chance to talk to some of the other people that were involved, simply because they run in different social circles. During the 2 day photo shoot, they mingled and got to know each other. That’s pretty awesome if you think about how many believe that Des Moines is “clique-y”. Do you have a favorite photograph from this year’s calendar, if so; why is it your favorite? As the art director for this project, it’s hard to pick a favorite. I know how much effort everyone put into it. Some models were in the hair and make-up chair for 4 hours! I know that there are people out there who thinks that there is no such thing as a “gay community”, but the dedication from everyone involved in this project, how they got together to make this happen—I politely disagree. How were models chosen for this calendar? A lot of the models were people who follow us on our social media outlets. We sent out an announcement that we were looking for models. We did get a lot of
monogamy is concerned, I honestly believe that human beings are not monogamous biologically; they were not created that way. However, it is certainly helpful in society and social structure...because of the family structure....with gay and lesbian relationships...you’re going to see families. You’re going to see children. So in the interest of family structure, we’ve evolved biologically to the point where we are social creatures.” But the purported evolutionary benefits of monogamy have not panned out as expected. And the biggest benefit touted out in support of monogamy is that it’s the best social and psychological arrangement for children. However, evidence has proven over and over again if couples are in a monogamous relationship solely for the kids, the children, too, suffer because they witness no love, compassion and sometimes respect between the parents. Contrary to popular belief, sociologist Elisabeth Sheff forthcoming book “The Polyamorists Next Door” reveals that polyamory is a “legitimate relationship style that can be tremendously rewarding for adults and provide excellent nurturing for children.” “I’m more involved in their lives (referring to children) and more aware of their inner thoughts or aspirations; I’m more involved in their long-term happiness,” Mark told CNN reporters. Mark who’s a computer programmer and his wife’s an electrical engineer have been married for over a decade. They have no children; however, they are actively engaged with the
children from the two couples they have been sexually involved with for six years. Societal condemnation of not being monogamous has halted many from taking the walk down the aisle, knowing the wedding vow to stay married until death cannot faithfully be upheld. The evidence is the skyrocketing divorce rate among heterosexuals. Gay and lesbian couples are not immune, and as the number of states with marriage equality climbs, so will our divorce rate. Many social scientists are recognizing that sexual fidelity to one person is a doom aspiration. This notion will soon evolve into an antiquated notion because as our human clock ticks longer than previous generations while our appetite and yearning to experience sexual variety—with people of same and opposite genders—will also expand. Our polyamorous nature, many contest, is evident in our acts of serial monogamy, which speaks to our need to fulfill the impulse for variety. Once marriage shifted from its historical moorings of being solely economic and political arrangements to now romantic and consensual unions, sexual fidelity became the barometer of a successful relationship, marriage or true love for a person. While sexual jealousy and possessiveness would appear unavoidable in polyamorous relationship there is also data revealing how having open relationships keeps these couples intact, and the love very much alive.
Many social scientists are recognizing that sexual fidelity to one person is a doom aspiration.
responses and we tried to include everyone who expressed interest. Assigning the characters was a lot harder, however. Who was the photographer for this project? Robert Whicker was the photographer, and Billy Porter was his assistant. We were lucky to have a bunch of really artistic people to help us during the photo shoot. We had Joshua Sheridan, Nicholas Warne, Jeri Valentine, and Catherine Wetzel help with the hair, make-up, and styling. Jordan Selha was the graphic artist for the photos, and Ryan Adams designed the calendar lay-out. The calendar launch is during Project HIM’s Black Party, could you give me details of that? It just made logistical sense to combine the two events. The Black Party was originally conceived to introduce people to the leather and kink community. Groups such as the Titans and the Cornhaulers have done a good job at demystifying those things, to a point where leather is now more accepted and celebrated in the Des Moines LGBT scene. I appreciate the theatricality and pageantry with leather and kink that tie well with the calendar’s theme. The Black Party celebrates our unique variety of sexual expression and the art of fantasy. There will be large-scale photos from the calendar on display, along with exhibi-
tions from local performance artists and a drag show. Guests can mingle with the models and learn more about upcoming Project HIM programs and events. “Into the Dark Forest” will be the night’s theme, so we encourage everyone to serve some Brothers Grimm fairy-tale realness. The
Rev. Irene Monroe is a graduate from Wellesley College and Union Theological Seminary at Columbia University, and she has served as a pastor at an AfricanAmerican church before coming to Harvard Divinity School for her doctorate as Ford Fellow. She is a syndicated queer religion columnist who tries to inform the public of the role religion plays in discrimination against lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer people. Her website is irenemonroe.com. The practice of polyamory was once thought to be an absurd issue to explore as a relationship choice. But today’s it’s not. More and more organizations like “Atlanta Polyamory Inc.” are popping up across the country. Their members are coming out of the closet. Perhaps this will be the new civil rights battle before us. Whether someone is monogamous or polyamorous is solely a personal decision. And let’s remember same-sex marriage was once upon a time seemed as a preposterous proposition to argue as a civil right. event is all ages until 11:30 pm. [21+ after]. We ask that people bring a nonperishable food donation to benefit The Project of Primary Health Care, Inc.’s food pantry, or items for their winter clothing drive. For more information go to ProjectHIM.org.
What we’re celebrating today is the triumph of democracy, the triumph of liberty. Part of our unfinished business is to help the rest of America achieve marriage equality. ~Gov. Pat Quinn signing the law to legalize gay marriage in Illinois.
ACCESSline’s fun guide
Our Picks for December 11/29-12/22, Omaha, NE, The Bluebarn Theatre, Jacob Marley’s Christmas Carol, BlueBarn.org 12/4-29, Des Moines, IA, The Temple Theater, Dixie’s Tupperware Party, DesMoinesPerformingArts.org 12/6-29, Des Moines, IA, Des Moines Playhouse, Peter Pan, DMPlayhouse.com 12/7, Omaha, NE, The Mastercraft Building, Night of a Thousand Stars, NAP.org 12/7-8, Decorah, IA, Vesterheim Museum, Norwegian Christmas Weekend, Vesterheim.org 12/8, Cedar Rapids, IA, Legion Arts, Vienna Teng, LegionArts.org 12/10-15, Des Moines, IA, Civic Center, Irving Berlin’s White Christmas, DesMoinesPerformingArts.org 12/13, Cedar Rapids, IA, Club CO2, Deck the Balls Drag King Show, Club-CO2.com 12/13-21, Waterloo, IA, Waterloo Community Playhouse, A Christmas Carol, WCPBHCT.org 12/14, Sioux City, IA, Orpheum,
Becoming an Empress: Shelbi Anne Baker by Sarah Headrick Hoskins
Sioux City Symphony: Christmas Spectacular, OrpheumLive.com 12/14-15, Quad Cities, Iowa, Adler Theatre,
Ballet Quad Cities: The Nutcracker,
AdlerTheatre.com 12/17, Des Moines, IA, Civic Center, The Blenders, DesMoinesPerformingArts.org 12/17, Davenport, IA, Adler Theatre, Mamma Mia!, AdlerTheatre.com 12/17, Cedar Falls, IA, Great Hall, Lorie Line, GBPAC.com
...and January 2014
1/10, Des Moines, Iowa, Stoner Theater, Clybourne Park, StagewestIowa.com 1/17, Des Moines, Iowa, Des Moines Playhouse, The Hundred Dresses, DMPlayhouse.com 1/17 & 19, Cedar Rapids, Iowa, Cedar Rapids Opera Theatre, Carmen, CR-Opera.org 1/17, Des Moines, Iowa, Civic Center, Alonzo King Lines Ballet, DesMoinesPerformingArts.org
Empress XXI, Shelbi Anne Baker at ICIA Investiture. The Imperial Court of Iowa, a philanthropic 501.3c organization, has recently crowned Empress XXI, Shelbi Anne Baker. The Imperial Court of Iowa aids communities in Iowa by fund-raising for charitable organizations such as The Project, Food Bank of Iowa, Des Moines Vet Center, and Reputable AIDS Charities of Iowa along with many others. Some of the events used for fund-raising are drag shows, bingo, balls/galas, food/bake sales, and other similar events. An Empress takes on a full-time job that is expected to be worked into their life on top of their regular job as well as family and personal life. An Empress is expected to attend all in-state functions and as many shows in and out of town/state as possible—a minimum of 4 other coronations from different states. She is expected to ‘treat others as she would like to be treated’. Around 15 years ago, Shelbi Anne Baker was attending UMKC and had just begun coming out. She went to a few different venues like Cabaret, Dixie Bell, and Missie B’s. While attending the clubs she began noticing the drag queens more and more, it made her
wonder what she would look like made up. She began to make friends, meeting her drag mother Monica Dawn—among others. Soon she had borrowed 100 different pieces for her costume and was in full drag. She became a part of the show cast at Missie B’s after a few months. She practiced every day learning choreography, being fitted by a seamstress, and working with a DJ. She ran for every pageant she could during her years at the bar, reaching for the much coveted crowns and titles. She has held many titles including Miss Gay Madison and Miss Blazing Saddle. When making the decision to run for Imperial Court Empress, Shelbi Anne watched Empress XX Muffy Rosenberg and Emperor XX Matthew Millard and all of the work they put in during their reign. They raised over $80,000 dollars and donated over $60,000 after event costs to their different charities. After talking to several people and learning the meaning of being Empress and the dedication involved along with the personal costs, she made a difficult decision and began her
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The Fun Guide
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Inside Out by Ellen Krug
Irony
I asked for a show of hands. Out of 300 or so people in the room, I guessed that maybe 50 hands crept upward. Younger hands, older hands, male and female hands, mainly white hands, but some of color hands, too. The reason? A speech I was presenting at Iowa State University that I titled, “Living as Transgender: Compassion for One’s Self and for Others.” My focus was how Transgender people specifically—and the alphabet letters, the L’s, G’s and B’s, as well as other humans without letters attached to them—kill themselves at near epidemic rates. In fact, I noted, more people now die from suicide than from car accidents. I asked the audience: Why do we hate ourselves so very much that death—the utter nothingness of death—seems the only viable option? Why do we feel that we have no choice about whether to live or die? How is it that we have a society that nurtures pets— cats, dogs and exotic fish—to the tune of billions of dollars a year but yet can’t find within its collective self to nurture humans who are simply seeking to live their lives authentically and genuinely? The show of hands came when I asked who in the room had loved ones, family members or friends who had suffered selfharm. It was quite a scene, those 50 hands. It reinforced something else that I spoke of: the need for us to love ourselves, to accept who we are, and to recognize that our gender identities, as well as our sexual orientations, artistic bends and whatever else defines us as human, are not something we can choose. My speech capped what I called a “rock star day,” where I was treated like a real celebrity, someone famous and worthy of special treatment. None of which I am. That’s not how I want to approach the world. Still, it’s fairly remarkable that I was even speaking at Iowa State. The process began six or seven months earlier when a member of Ames PFLAG (Parents, Families & Friends of Lesbians and Gays) emailed and asked if I’d speak at their monthly meeting. I replied that I had a day job in Minneapolis and driving to Ames for an evening meeting wasn’t feasible. However, I suggested that PFLAG collaborate with other LGBTQA organizations to see if they could collectively work something out to bring me to Ames for an entire day. Much to my amazement, that’s exactly what happened. I arrived in Ames at 9:30 in the morning and was escorted to classes, a book reading, a radio interview, a dinner at a new friend’s house, and then to my keynote in the Sun Room of the ISU Memorial Union. I finished the day a little after 10:00 that night. Throughout, I was treated with genuine heartfelt kindness and respect—to a degree that many Transgender people wouldn’t be able to even imagine. It was overwhelming for me—an extrovert who’s really an introvert— and I am very grateful for all that everyone did to welcome me to Ames. And therein lies an irony of sorts. I was in Ames to commemorate a sacred day for the Trans community—the one day of the year where we remember the many Transgender people who have died at the hands of others or by their own hand. Underlying Transgender Day of Remembrance is
the harsh truth that many Trans persons are marginalized, discriminated against, and hated. Respect and kindness like I received are the very last things most Trans people will ever experience. Instead, some are more likely to encounter a hammer, or a baseball bat, or a knife or bullet. Across the world—Brazil, Indonesia, Europe, and the United States—this is the case. I didn’t point out the irony in my keynote address, mainly because I didn’t understand it at that moment. Instead, I used my speech as a platform to message about something that I’ve been saying for months as I’ve talked across the Midwest: that Trans and non-Trans people share one incredibly important quality. Each of us is human. We simply want to live lives where we love and are loved. Lives where we’re left alone to be ourselves, whatever that may be, as long as we hurt no one else. It’s a relatively simple message, actually. I wrap into it ideas about self-acceptance and compassion for others. I urge listeners to ignore the negativity or outright hostility that some in the media and in everyday life hold toward Trans people and others who are different, such as the L’s, G’s and B’s. Most of all, my message is about reaching out to others who are hurting, who may feel alone, and ultimately, who may be inclined to believe that leaving this world is a better option than staying in it. I exemplify how reaching out can be as simple as making a place at one’s table in the University cafeteria, or simply asking, “How are you doing?” Such gestures can be incredibly powerful for someone who is hurting. They may be enough to let a struggling Trans person know that they matter, that their continued presence in this world is important to others. Important enough to make someone believe that suicide isn’t justified. I looked out at hundreds of faces as I talked behind a podium reading from triplespaced papers in the ISU Sun Room. I saw nodding heads and rapt attention, signs of respect, maybe even admiration. More of what most Trans people never get. Am I someone special, who deserved this? Absolutely not. As a trial lawyer with more than 30 years’ experience, I simply know how to put a word or two together for a good sound bite. Rather, I’m just a human who asks other humans to think about being human. All I do is remind listeners that we’re interconnected, and in the end, dependent on each other for our happiness. It looked like my words resonated in Ames.
with my people. Your welcome has been overwhelming, and I’ve been treated like a rock star. I highly recommend getting rock star treatment at least once in your life. It does the soul good! It’s not too bad for the ego, either. Before I start, I have a very, very long list of organizations and people to thank, specifically the Ames PFLAG chapter; the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender Student Services Center; the LGBTA Alliance of Iowa State University; the Gamma Rho Lambda Colony; Government of the Student Body, Committee on Lectures; and the Multicultural Student Programming Advisory Council. I also need to express my deep thanks and appreciation to Pat Spangler, Paul and Linda Kaufmann, Cyndie Drury, Alison Carleton, Brad Freihoefer, Sarah Miller and Blake Miller. I apologize if I left anyone out of that incredibly long list of people and organizations that worked very hard and deliberately to get me to Ames. It’s truly been a team and collaborative effort, and I’m in awe of their organizational and scheduling skills. Thank you again. I also have to admit that speaking from a scripted speech is not my usual practice. I’ve always spoken extemporaneously, but tonight I’ve felt the need to have my words documented. That doesn’t mean I won’t lapse
Respect and kindness like I received are the very last things most Tran’s people will ever experience.
Living as Transgender: Compassion for One’s Self and for Others
Iowa State University, Ames, Iowa, November 20, 2013 It has been so incredibly emotional for me here today, being back home in Iowa,
Ellie Krug is a columnist and the author of Getting to Ellen: A Memoir about Love, Honesty and Gender Change. She resides in Minneapolis and welcomes your comments at ellenkrugwriter@gmail.com. Visit her blog at GettingToEllen.com. into speaking from the heart or off the cuff— you’ll certainly know if and when I do that. Please just work with me. And by all means, I will take questions afterwards. To the extent I use names here, some will be pseudonyms. As I write in my memoir, my life has intersected with many people. Not all of them have wanted to take my gender journey with me. I respect that and have tried to give them their desired space. One last preliminary: I’m Buddhist and
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Wired This Way by Rachel Eliason Let it be known that October 14th 2013 was the day that amateur bloggers had to school the mainstream media. Journalist, it appears, have forgotten the basics of how to do their jobs. The story involved allegations that a trans youth was being allowed into the girl’s restroom in a small school in Colorado and then abusing that privilege by harassing the cisgender (non-trans) girls. The blogger is Christan Williams, a transgender woman and writer at Transadvocate. The journalists were virtually all of them, including, predictably, Fox News. Fox News and other conservative news sites around the world took the story and ran with it, without the most basic fact checking. The unimaginable feat that Christan Williams did was to pick up a phone and call the school. For those reading this in print the gist is this, it didn’t happen. The school was approached by a couple of conservative parents. When the school didn’t immediately cave, they went to an organization called PJI, the Pacific Justice Institute. PJI is a conservative legal group that fights for, among other things, the rights of parents to subject their children to illegal “ex-gay” reparative therapy. PJI took up the issue. However instead of calling the school or filing any legal measures, they decide instead to concoct their own story. They claimed that the trans kid was harassing other girls. Supposedly, when confronted with these allegations the school replied that the rights of this one trans kid trumped the rights of all the other kids, according to the new law protecting transgender students. The truth however was that the school
had fielded no complaints from any students. They were unaware of any controversy until PJI showed up on their doorstep with a camera crew. After PJI began to spread its story, other news outlets picked it up, without doing even the most basic fact checking on the story. Christan uncovered this all with a single phone call. As the story began to go viral on the web, students at the school began to speak out in defense of the girl, referred to only as “Jane Doe” in early reports. Local’s spoke in letters to the editor and with bumper sticks. The response was mostly positive, including demands that the media retract their false stories and issue an apology. Some news sources have, to their credit. You might think that once the fabrication was out the men at PJI might back down and appear at least a little contrite about the whole thing. You would be wrong. They doubled down on their deception. Spokesperson Matt McReynolds gave a few very non-specific examples of “reports we’ve heard” including that the girl in question might have “made comments on what girls are wearing.” They further stated that her presence in the women’s restroom was a violation of every other student’s right to privacy. In one of the strangest examples of politics making for strange bedfellows, the PJI decided to call in outside legal counsel to deal with the crisis. Their choice was Cathy Brennan, an openly lesbian lawyer who is infamous in many circles for her extreme support of the so-called “TERF” philosophy. TERF stands for Trans-Exclusive Radical Feminism.
In its mildest form the TERF philosophy argues that trans women should not be allowed into women only spaces like the Michigan Womyn’s Festival. Under pressure from these groups many events have added clauses stating only “women born women” are welcome. At the further extreme TERF’s actively promote the message that banning trans women from feminist gathering implies—that trans women are not really women at all. And when I say Cathy Brennan is an extreme example of this philosophy I mean this; She helped co-author a letter to U.N. attacking efforts to include gender identity protection in human rights efforts. She has a long track record of harassing trans people online who have disagreed with her. Most famously she tweeted a very juvenile drawing of a stick figure with male genitals to a trans blogger with the caption “sorry about your dick.” She has labeled transwoman who are attracted to women “pretendbians” and seems to spend an inordinate amount of her free time trying to get them kicked off dating sites or “outing” them on her website, Pretendbians.com. What did Ms. Brennan bring to this debate? She has argued that the presence of a trans girl in a public restroom is inherently harassing to cisgender (non-trans) girls, regardless of the trans girl’s behavior. Then she did something even the PJI wouldn’t do. She posted the full name of the trans girl on her blog, publicly outing her. Despite the support of many in the community, being at the center of this controversy has been too much for Jane Doe. She was reportedly on suicide watch for a time. Jane Doe is thankfully moving out of the limelight as the real purpose of this manufactured crisis starts to unfold. For PJI the destruction of a young girl’s life is merely a means to an end. The end is the
morning as that’s when I have the most energy. If you’re a night owl, nighttime workouts could be better. Having more energy is the biggest and most important variable in determining the best time to exercise. Question 4: Do I need to lift weights in addition to cardio if I’m just trying to lose weight? Answer: Yup! When you lose weight, it means that you take in fewer calories than you use. To make up for the calorie deficit, your body will burn both fat and muscle. By including strength training in your workout, you signal to your body that you need your muscle–and more of the weight you lose will be fat. Question 5: How much protein do I need? Answer: Most Americans already get enough protein. For most people the formula is about 0.4 grams of protein per pound of bodyweight per day. Active people require 0.6 grams of protein per pound of bodyweight daily. Very active individuals, or people who engage in
heavy lifting, need nearly a gram of protein per day. For individuals in this category, additional protein supplementation is often required (i.e., protein shakes, etc.).
They further stated that her presence in the women’s restroom was a violation of every other student’s right to privacy.
Honor Your Body, Honor You by Davey Wavey Quick Answers to Your Top 5 Fitness Questions!
Question 1: Is it better to run before or after lighting weights? Answer: It depends on what your goals are. Keep in mind that whatever you do first, you’ll have more energy for. If the benefits of cardio exercise are more important to you, then do cardio first. If bulking up with more muscle is your primary goal, lift weights first. Question 2: Are carbs bad? Answer: Complex carbs–such as those found in brown rice, whole wheat, beans, etc.–are good. Simple carbs–such as those found in soft drinks, juices and cakes–are bad. Your body needs carbohydrates for proper function; rather than cut carbs, focus on eating the healthy, complex carbs that your body needs. Question 3: When is the best time of day to exercise? Answer: Whenever you have the most energy. I’m a morning person. For me, the best time to exercise is around 6:30 in the
In fact, the very first ingredient is high fructose corn syrup, which is really just a fancy way to say sugar.
7 Foods with More Sugar than a Krispy Kreme. It’s no surprise that Krispy Kreme doughnuts are unhealthy. After all, they’re basically fried globs of sugar and flour. With 10 grams of sugar, that’s about 42% and 28% of the daily recommended limit for women and men respectively–at least, according to the American Heart Association. Still, Krispy Kreme doughnuts are far from the worst sugary offenders. And many high-sugar foods definitely pass under the radar. Case in point, you may be surprised to find that the following foods all have more sugar than a Krispy Kreme doughnut: Skim milk. With 13 grams of sugar, a single cup of skim milk has as much sugar as 1.3 Krispy Kreme doughnuts. As a healthier alternative, opt for unsweetened almond milk; it has zero grams of sugar. Dried cranberries. Though they sound healthy, most dried cranberries are sweetened to counteract their bitter-
Rachel Eliason is a forty two year old Transsexual woman. She was given her first computer, a Commodore Vic-20 when she was twelve and she has been fascinated by technology ever since. In the thirty years since that first computer she has watched in awe as the Internet has transformed the LGBT community. In addition to her column, Rachel has published a collection of short stories, Tales the Wind Told Me and is currently working on her debut novel, Run, Clarissa, Run. Rachel can be found all over the web, including on Facebook, Twitter, Google+ and Goodreads. repeal of similar legislation in their home state of California. California’s School Success and Opportunity Act protects the rights of transgender students. PJI is spearheading an effort to have the law repealed. Privacy For All Students is grass roots organization gathering petition signatures to put the act on the next ballot. (The name Privacy For All Students comes from and alludes to their primary argument, that transgender rights violates the privacy rights of non trans youth.) The manufactured crisis in Colorado provides California organizers with an illus-
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Davey Wavey is an AFPA certified personal trainer shares his passion for and knowledge of fitness, exercise, health and nutrition with the world. For more information go to DaveyWaveyFitness.com. ness. But with 26 grams of sugar, there’s nothing bittersweet about it! That’s more sugar than two and a half Krispy Kreme doughnuts. Eat only unsweetened dried fruit–and do so in moderation. Fresh fruit, with its water content, is always more filling. Cereal. If a cereal is called “Smart Start” or “Raisin Bran Crunch,” you might
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Iowa’s Gay Weddings by Scott Stevens Venue Options
Long ago weddings only came with a few options. Now that we have Pinterest, wedding options become infinite. Now couples have a whole new set of questions before you select their space. Many people assume finding a space is as simple as liking a venue or not liking a venue. Here are a few things to keep in mind before you get your venue.
make the most beautiful wedding very frustrating. The first questions the venue will ask a couple is; “How many guest you’ll be hosting?” Guest lists will fluctuate, but you should have a good idea of the size of wedding you are looking at. Look at the venue roughly a year before your wedding if possible. This will allow you to see what the venue looks like at that time of year. You will get a better understanding of the traffic, noise, lighting, and parking availability.
Little things like parking, limited space, bathrooms and amenities can make the most beautiful wedding very frustrating.
Understand The Logistics
Venues are usually the first thing a couple picks out. It is really easy to get caught up in the excitement and sign the contract without thinking about the logistics. This is when it is nice to have a wedding planner to bring you back to reality. Little things like parking, limited space, bathrooms and amenities can
Full Service or not?
Some locations are full service, which is convenient, but you are locked into using their services and paying their prices. Others give you a venue and you are required to find your own services, this allows you to shop around and find
The Project of the Quad Cities
Founded in 1986, The Project of the Quad Cities is a non-profit HIV/STI/AIDS Service Organization that provides support to persons living with HIV/STI/AIDS as well as their families and friends in Iowa and Illinois. www.apqc4life.org Symptom Management Group—Every Wednesday from 1-2:30 pm Life Skills Group—Every other Wednesday from 10-11:30 am Coffee Hour—10-11:30 am on Wednesdays when the Life Skills Group does not meet; A relaxed and casual atmosphere Groups meet at our Moline office. We also offer free HIV testing Monday through Thursday from 9 am to 4 pm. For more information call Susie or Mollie at 309-762-5433
PITCH Calendar 2013
Positive Iowans Taking Charge (PITCH) is a volunteer-run non-profit organization, founded in 2007, their goal is to provide social networking and support to Iowans living with, or affected by, HIV/AIDS. Their mission is to create an atmosphere where HIV+ people can unite, advocate, and assist other HIV+ people for better health and wellness. More information can be found at pitchiowa.org or call Tami Haught at 641-715-4182. All of our meetings are open to the public at large. To hear what’s going on, please check out our calendar to see when the next PITCH meeting will be held. For more information go to www.PitchIowa.org.
Groups
Des Moines Open Support Group 5pm-6pm (Wednesdays) Thursday Group 2pm-3pm (Thursdays) Waterloo PITCH Support Group 6pm-8pm (Every other week) Wednesday Evening Group 5:30pm-6:30pm (Every other week)
Support Group Meeting Conference Call Positive Iowans Taking Charge has a Conference Call Support Group meeting every month and it is open to those outside of Iowa. The meeting is to provide emotional, social, and educational opportunities for Iowans across the state. The Agenda is as follows: welcome and introduction from 7-7:30 PM, topic discussion from 7:30-8 PM,
non-topic time for everyone to share how they are doing from 8-8:30 PM. Times are adjusted depending on the needs of the people on the call. The number to call is 949-812-4500 and the Pin number is 684713 that everyone will use the same code. For more information go to pitchiowa.org or find them on facebook.
I’ve been going there since 1979 and I have had great times in Russia. What’s happening there is so awful. But I’ve been asked to go. People from the LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender) community over there have said please come. I don’t want to abandon them. I mean, if you don’t go, you know, you’re saying “stick it”. ~Sir Elton John on Russia’s news homosexuality laws.
Scott Stevens owner/operator of Iowa’s Gay Wedding Planner.com the best price, it is also a lot more legwork. You can also find locations that have certified venders that you are required to use.
Last and the most important, ask questions!
Write down a list of questions before you visit your venue. Find out how much time you will have to setup and take down? Who will be here helping you on the actual day of the wedding? Are there any construction or landscape changes coming up? Do you anticipate any changes to the venue before the wedding day?” The more informed you are the fewer surprises you will have on your big day.
DECEMBER 2013
A Night to Remember
On January 18th, 2014 TPQC will host their largest and most successful fundraiser–The Red Ribbon Dinner at the Stern Center in downtown Rock Island Illinois. With first-class entertainment, silent and live auctions showcasing local artists’ works, a lively cocktail hour, and award-winning gourmet dinner, the event has had a rousing success with more than 500 guests, including prominent community leaders in business, media, politics, law, and medicine. Many new add-ons this year include an elegant VIP lounge, a spectacular light show, and more than $20,000 in donated goods and services. With more than a quarter century of service to the community, The Project of the Quad Cities continues our commitment to creating a healthier, happier, more prosperous life for all by combating the spread of HIV/STDs. Please visit our website at TPQC.org or call us at (309) 762-5433 for more information.
DECEMBER 2013
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I.C. Kings Present: Sideshow! Iowa City, IA
I.C. Kings Sideshow performance at Studio 13, October 24th. For more information go to Facebook.com/I.C.Kings. Photos courtesy of Sara Tate.
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JONES talking to people and listening. Mom also spent a lot of hours learning how to create a brochure and then writing it, the title was “Sexual Orientation, A Parent’s Perspective”. She included her email address so people could contact her for help or information. She would give anyone who asked permission to print their own copies and left a space for them to stamp or add their group info. I know some of my answers may seem vague and I don’t have as much info as you might think a daughter would have. Mom and Dad spoke in general about what they were doing but didn’t get into specific details. They were very aware of the need for confidentiality and took great care in protecting the privacy of others. Their focus was to help people and not for recognition so not very many people in our town knew how much Mom and Dad did for gay rights in Iowa. They also dealt very well with extremes in our own family with 8 kids— from a gay son to a religious, homophobic sibling; and from complete acceptance of what they were doing to trying to get them to change their views.
Kate and Trish Varnum
We met Carolyn and Rex through our work with PFLAG. They were inspirational to us for the hard work they were doing in Independence. They often came to Cedar Rapids for our events, and we saw them at Lobby Days organized by PFLAG or other organizations. When Trish and I held our holy blessing in 2004, they joined us for the celebration. We were honored to have them join us for our legal wedding in 2009. Their daughter, Kathy, was so moved by our involvement in the marriage decision, that she baked our wedding cake.
Rex and Carolyn at Kate and Trish Varnum’s first wedding in 2004. Courtesy of the Kate and Trish Varnum. Carolyn and Rex Jones were incredible to Waukon in a snow storm to be at our people, and inspired us with their devo- first meeting. tion to LGBT rights. We were honored I also attended Lobbying Day in Des to know them and we considered them Moines with them. I would drive to Indefriends. Iowa lost two strong voices for pendence, stay overnight with them leave equal rights in 2013. early in the morning for Des Moines and spend the day lobbying our representatives for equal rights for our gay family members with other people from all across My husband George and I met Rex the state. and Carolyn in the early 1990s, (maybe Carolyn wrote a brochure, “SEXUAL late 80s) after we found out that 2 or our ORIENTATION—“A Parents’ Perspec6 children were gay. Carolyn was a repre- tive”—that was widely distributed and sentative for PFLAG (Parents, Families was helpful to many parents struggling and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) from with accepting their gay children. Independence. I was a representative Rex and Carolyn were wonderful for PFLAG from Waterville, IA and we advocates for their son, Kendall, and other corresponded and visited them in Inde- gay people and did a lot to educate and pendence and they came here. support GLBT people and their families. A representative was a person who had their name, address and phone number in the PFLAG directory as a contact person. There were representatives where there weren’t enough people in the area to have a PFLAG chapter. We started a PFLAG group in Waukon in March of 1996 and Rex and Carolyn drove
Jean Huffey
New GOglbt Business Referral Group GOglbt is starting a new group of GLBT business owners or business professionals to meet twice monthly to support each other’s businesses by providing referrals. They will meet every other Thursday from 7:30am-8:30am at a TBD Wells Fargo sponsored location. Refreshments
DECEMBER 2013
will be provided. Once they secure the location the meetings will start. Membership Fee is $50.00 and will include a business listing on the GOglbt.com website. To sign up to be a part of this group please call Tom Luke at 402-650-2917, or email him at tom@lukedirectmarketing.com.
Carolyn Jones and Jean Huffy were my “supportive moms” as I dealt with coming out to my family and living in a very rural community in Northwest Iowa when I was 18 years old in 1980. There was not a lot of support where I lived, but I found a couple of phone numbers for this group Parents Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) in Eastern Iowa. It was scary to think about actually talking to these unknown women, but those women who helped me so much over the years. Carolyn was one of the PFLAG moms I called in the early 80’s when I was in college at Westmar College in LeMars, IA. I continued to stay in contact with Carolyn & Rex after I moved from LeMars, IA to Lincoln, NE. I did not meet Carolyn and Rex, Jones the PFLAG reps from Independence, IA; until I moved back to Iowa in 1996. I first met Carolyn and Rex at the Cedar Falls PFLAG potluck; it was wonderful to finally meet the most supportive people I had ever had in my life. Their energy, love, passion and support for the work they did for the LGBT community was seen in every act they made. Carolyn and Rex had a PFLAG card they would leave with their tips or just hand out to people. (I don’t remember exactly what the card said, but it was something about being the proud parents of a gay son and where people could help info about PFLAG). Carolyn and Rex were part of PFLAG, Iowa Coalition on Human Rights, Iowa Safe School, Equality Iowa, and One Iowa.
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Sexual Orientation: A Parents’ Perspective by Carolyn Jones “Its not a lifestyle we are talking about, it is a life—our sonʼs (and many others).” We need to concentrate not on our differences, but what we have in common, in our quest for a better world.
Finding Out
“Thatʼs the hardest thing Iʼve ever done!” That is how our 36 year old son describes saying, “Mom, Dad Iʼm gay”. One of eight children, he was 21 at the time. Unlike some parents who suspect their child is gay, or know it and wait for that child to tell them, we hadnʼt suspected. We were shocked. As parents, having a gay child was not a conscious thought. Yet the love we had for him never changed. This describes real ʻfamily valuesʼ. The only knowledge we had, consisted of the inaccurate popular social beliefs. We didn’t begin to understand this “thing” that had invaded our lives. He gave us a copy of “Beyond Acceptance” and told us about PFLAG. The book was read but there was no way we’d walk into a PFLAG meeting! How I wish now we would have—immediately. Reading the book prompted us to learn more.
Our Education
He showed a tremendous amount of patience with us during this learning process and invited any questions we had. Our reading was on facts which quickly facilitated our ability to dis-spell the rhetoric and mean-spirited beliefs that did, and still does, permeate our society. And we did ask him
many questions!
Of Utmost Concern OUR YOUTH - Gays* realize their sexual orientation at a variety of ages but the most predominant is the junior high and high school years. Through education you can learn that their realization is often profoundly traumatic within themselves (and “they say” it is a choice!). There is a great need to provide a school atmosphere that enhances their ability to receive an education and reach their potential. ALL students are entitled to a safe, productive, learning environment. Our son never reached his potential in junior high, high school, or two years of tech school. He was too deep in his struggle with his sexuality, making sure no one penetrated that closet door or harmed him. Soon after coming out he enrolled in a two year police science course in a gay-friendly city. He loved school and graduated with excellent grades, then attended the Police Academy there and graduated at the top of his class. This testimonial should prove how the school atmosphere can affect an education. Gay youth too often spend these years in isolation, fear, and tolerating harassment instead of enjoying what should be some of the best of their lives. Many develop self- destruc-
tive attitudes and turn to alcohol and/or drug abuse, promiscuity, do poorly in school or drop out. Some just give up on life. The estimate is that one-third of teen suicides are committed by gay youth. EQUAL RIGHTS FOR GAYS—Not “gay rights”. That is one of many scare tactics used by anti-gay forces to spread their hollow ideas. It is equal rights. We feel our gay citizens, without hesitation; absolutely deserve the same rights as every other American citizen. We find this to be the most grievous form of discrimination. This is because the people refusing to grant those rights are our elected local, state and federal officials who we feel should be knowledgeable. They set educational policies for all citizens but neglect self-education on sexual orientation, preferring to make decisions on misconceptions and false rhetoric. We take this very personally—how dare they judge our son as not deserving of this protection, they have never even met him! Anti-gay forces say that gays have these rights under the U.S. Constitution. If this is true why can they be fired from their employment, evicted from rental housing, or be denied credit for no other reason than, “You’re gay!”? ANTI-GAY FORCES—These organizations, while using ʻreligiousʼ, ʻChristianʼ or ʻfamilyʼ in their names, perpetuate violence towards gays. Persons capable of violence are fed by their hateful and false messages and ad campaigns. These organizations, by spreading fear, generate millions of dollars, a portion of which is used to enable them to penetrate our political system. There is also subtle but profound damage done by their activities. These messages are visible to all, including teenagers struggling with their own sexuality. Feeling the effects of this message, do they become another suicide statistic? They call themselves religious but where are their Christian attitudes? These organizations promote conversion therapy. Their claims are hollow, at best, as there is no follow-up provided for the thousands they call converted to support those numbers. Such therapies not only are
Gay youth too often spend these years in isolation, fear, and tolerating harassment instead of enjoying what should be some of the best of their lives.
dismissed by almost all major U.S. psychiatric and psychological associations but also are known as able to cause ʻincalculableʼ harm. Could you change your sexual orientation? Why should gays change theirs, they are fine the way they are.
How You Can Help
Become enlightened regarding sexual orientation. It is not a choice. Who would choose to be a part of society that is treated so inhumanely? When did you choose to be heterosexual? In both straight and gay people, it just evolves within us. Don’t trust stereotypes. Gays come in as many varieties as straights. Stereotypes inflict great damage to both. A masculine female or feminine male does not mean they are homosexual. These people suffer pointless unfair harassment due to hateful, slanderous attitudes toward gays. Get to know some gay people, not just by name but really “know” them (we all know some, but are not aware they are gay). Don’t worry about an attempt to “recruit” you, another scare tactic. You will realize gays are people like you and I. Educate yourselves with the facts instead of spreading the fiction. If people realized the silly, false things they say about homosexuality, they would be embarrassed. Like the term “Gay Lifestyle”. Can you explain that term? What is a straight lifestyle? When you describe one, you describe the other. Prepare yourself. Homosexuality happens in any family, yours is not exempt. We don’t order children or grandchildren, brothers or sisters. We love and accept them with brown eyes or blue; right-handed or left; gay or straight. When we do not accept our gay family members, we lose. When you hear or see the word homosexual, don’t let the word “sex” be your first thought. They are whole people. The only difference between homosexual and heterosexual is who they have emotional and physical natural attractions to. Sex is a viable aspect in any relationship. It plays the same role in any relationship, whether gay or straight. Contact your elected officials—local, county, state or federal—to express your concern for the protection and rights for homosexuals and the discriminatory practices running rampant in society today. Contact your local school officials and
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DECEMBER 2013
The Bookworm Sez by Terri Schlichenmeyer “Lawfully Wedded Husband: How My Gay Marriage Will Save the American Family” by Joel Derfner, c.2013, University of Wisconsin Press, $26.95 / higher in Canada, 235 pages It came as such a surprise. You knew that you were in love, and the feeling was reciprocated. You knew you and your beloved had a future together, but marriage? Maybe, maybe not. And then a little black box showed up, someone said “yes,” and it’s all good. Well, maybe not all. In the new book “Lawfully Wedded Husband” by Joel Derfner, you’ll see how marriage can change more than just two people. Joel Derfner didn’t initially think of his partner, Mike, as marriage material. Marriage wasn’t even up for consideration when they started dating. It wasn’t dating, really, it was more like hanging out, usually in bed. Those first years were rocky, with splits and reconciliations aplenty, until they got engaged in 2007. And their seemingly ever-present relationship problems intensified. Illness in Mike’s family forced them to become caretakers, resulting in lack of privacy in their Brooklyn home. Derfner had grass-isgreener thoughts on his mind. Mike became stressed, Derfner was rattled, and there were things he just couldn’t get over. One of them was the loss of couplehood that he and Mike once shared. They almost split yet again. But thanks to couples’ therapy, time, and a chance to “regain… equilibrium,” Derfner and Mike haltingly began anew to plan a
wedding. Derfner ordered bridal books, they argued over trifles, and they waited—because few states then allowed marriage between “same-sexers,” and a “civil union” was not good enough. So when reality TV came calling and Mike said the only way he’d go through with that was if the ceremony occurred in Iowa (his home state), Derfner struggled with politics, proverbial cold feet, and the meaningfulness of marriage. Does a civil union undermine marriage for both straight couples and same-sexers? What if Mike wasn’t “Mr. The One”? Would a quick TV ceremony make Derfner feel just as married as he’d feel after a full-out, friends-and-family legal-in-all-fifty-states wedding? Hm. That “might be a while.” But true love, of course, always prevails. There is such a thing as Happily Ever After. And in the end, a man can be sure that “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.” Are you a crier at weddings, a blubbering mess long before “I do”? Then “Lawfully Wedded Husband” will make you cry— and laugh. Author Joel Derfner is delightfully
snarky here, but it’s mixed with love, patience, passion for altar equality, and a deep look at the politics of marriage and how it all fits in with the history of civil rights. He’s serious, but lightly so—although the word “angry” does show up a lot, used both at the inanity of “gay marriage” and, most startlingly, between Derfner and his partner. Despite the overabundance of dictionary-worthy words, this is an enjoyable, thoughtful look at marriage, wrapped in wry humor with a few eyebrow-raisers to make things interesting. If you’re a softie for a boymeets-boy story, a lover of how-we-met tales, a twitterpated romantic, you’ll want it now. For you, “Lawfully Wedded Husband” will be a nice surprise.
57 Harold’s problem in The Boys in the Band 58 Fine-tune 59 Grace, or will to be diplomatic 60 Uses the mouth casually
61 They may be split
It wasn’t dating, really, it was more like hanging out, usually in bed.
Across
1 It comes before sex and marriage 5 Techie workplaces, often 9 Zipper problem 13 Rainbow, to some 14 Buck heroine 15 Hair of a stallion 16 Sunday service 17 Caesar’s last question 18 Coffee containers 19 Stalling sounds 20 Start of a Judy Garland quote 22 Ranch house 24 Dossier about Uranus? 25 Wolf’s warning 26 Chicago director Marshall 28 It may be kissed 29 Novel conclusion 30 Don, as a nightie 33 More of the quote 38 Bartenders’ servings 39 Two queens, e.g. 40 Pierce’s rank on M*A*S*H 43 Giant Mel 44 He gives gifts in stockings 45 Veronica of Sotto, Sotto 47 Fuel used in heating 49 End of the quote 52 Texas sch. 53 Seasoning for Rick Rodgers 54 Star of There’s Something About Mary 55 Begin to wake up 56 Arab head
Q-PUZZLE: The Stork Flies Over the Rainbow
Down
1 Of Human Bondage author Maugham 2 Plant cultivated for food or flowers
3 Sailor’s dinner companion 4 Tennessee Williams twosome 5 My Fair Lady composer 6 Place for vows 7 Bean and Burke waved theirs around 8 Give the cold shoulder 9 Shirtless guy in hot pants 10 Realm of C.S. Lewis 11 Records of anal historians? 12 Beaux ___ (noble deeds) 20 Not in the pink 21 U-shaped river bend 23 Communion offering at Metropolitan Community Church 26 Diplomacy breakdown 27 Makes a selection 30 A gentleman might pull one out for his date 31 Hit high, like Billie Jean’s balls 32 Mt. Everest locale 34 One who handles your horse 35 “The Weary Blues” poet Hughes 36 Milk fortifier 37 Evidence of rubber usage 40 Many are out of it 41 ColÛn locale 42 Like Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet 44 Was in session 46 Not potent 47 Sound of metal on metal 48 Comes out slowly 50 Aussie greeting 51 Flaky mineral 55 Brown’s Murder, _ Meowed • SOLUTION ON PAGE 34
DECEMBER 2013
The Fun Guide
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DAVEY think that you’re purchasing a healthy, low-sugar breakfast. But with 17 and 20 grams of sugar per serving respectively, you’re at the equivalent of about two doughnuts. And that’s before the milk! Though they’re not always easy to find, look for cereals with no added sugars. Most have 7 grams of sugar or less. Yogurt. Yogurt is another food that sounds healthy– and sometimes it is! But yogurts with fruit at the bottom, added flavors or honey are not smart choices. Some have as many as 28 grams of sugar. Instead of eating the sugar equivalent of nearly three doughnuts, opt for plain yogurts–and check the nutrition label. Sports drinks. Though Gatorade is a great recovery drink for high endurance athletes, most of us drink it while sitting on the sidelines. We don’t need all those simple carbs to sustain our energy levels; the result is consuming 35 grams of sugar in a single 20-ounce bottle. That’s 14 grams of sugar per cup. Instead, stick with water. If you want some flavor, squeeze some lemon juice into it. Salad dressing. Crazy but true! A single serving of “Ken’s Fat-Free Sun Dried Tomato Vinaigrette” has 12 grams of sugar per serving. In fact, the very first ingredient is high fructose corn syrup, which is really just a fancy way to say sugar. Don’t be fooled by fat-free labels. It’s not synonymous with healthy–and many fat-free foods contain extra sugar to make up for the flavor. There’s no fat in sugar…but it can definitely still make you fat! Fruit smoothies. Let’s be clear. Fresh fruit has a lot of sugar. An apple, for example, has 19 grams of sugar. But a fresh apple also has nearly one-fifth of your daily value of slow-digesting fiber; it helps you feel full longer and prevents a spike in blood sugar levels. Juices remove all that great fiber–and you’re just left with the sugar. Many of the packaged smoothie drinks in grocery stores are perfect examples of this process. A single 12-ounce Odwalla Superfood Smoothie has 37 grams of sugar and very little fiber. It’s the equivalent of almost four doughnuts. Instead of buying a smoothie, make one. And use whole fruits rather than fruit juices. Use a base of almond milk and ice to cut down on sugar and calories. Do you have any more fitness or nutrition questions? Send them to me at davey@daveywaveyfitness.com.
SScontinued from page 13
WIRED trative example of what can potentially go wrong when you respect the rights of trans youth. It also provides convenient news clips and sound bytes to show prospective supporters how “it’s already happening elsewhere.” Never mind that the story is false and many of those news clips were later pulled and redacted. They can, and are, creating a whole smear campaign out of clips, web links and misinformation they have mined from this encounter. Just as this story is starting to fade another story is brewing. A trans kid in a California was assaulted by several female students. The assault was caught on cell phone and has gone viral online. Police are investigating. This assault highlights the biggest flaw in PJI’s spin on the issue. They are trading imagined harm to cisgender girls for the very real dangers that many trans people face daily. Even if we were to accept PJI’s spin on things, is the discomfort of a few cisgender girls more important than the physical safety of trans youth? I say this not just as a trans woman myself but as a parent. If one child is in danger of physical violence and another is uncomfortable, I know which should take priority. If you take the time to go to the transadvocate web site and listen to the numerous phone interviews that Christan has posted you will likely notice a simple trend. When confronted by the real world harm their political beliefs are causing, PJI’s spin doctors are uncomfortable and curiously silent. That silence might well be the key to this whole issue. It is easy to discriminate and spread hateful messages when you don’t have to live with the harm it’s doing to your target. We need to confront these people with the reality and humanity of girls like Jane Doe, again and again, until their protest as a whole goes silent.
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DECEMBER 2013
319 Drag Kings Novem-BEARD Show Cedar Rapids, IA
The 319 Drag Kings performance of No Shave Novem-BEARD at Club CO2 November 8th. For more information go to Facebook.com/319DragKings. Photos courtesy of the 319 Drag Kings.
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JONES
and great convocation with Carolyn and Rex at “Legends” after many Lobby Days. We stopped at their home in Independence after Carolyn had been in the hospital, Carolyn had asked for someone to make her some “real” tapioca. Terri sat and chatted with Rex; Carolyn just kept saying she could not believe I was actually there just to make this for her.
Ardie Viet
Rex and Carolyn Jones at Iowa’s 2010 Lobby Day. Photo courtesy of Sandy Vopalka. They actually worked with all the groups who lead Lobby Days. They would leave early in the morning drive to Des Moines lobby legislators all day long, go to the reception and then drive back home. As the years came on, the trips to Lobby Days became actual trips; they would come in for lobbying and events of the day have dinner and spend the night in Altoona. One of the last Lobby Days was truly a trip that meant spending two nights, the night before and after Lobby Day. Fond memories of Carolyn and Rex are so many that coming up with only one is so hard. The big heartfelt hugs they gave each time we saw them. My partner Terri Gideon and I shared dinner
They were part of our Waterloo/ Cedar Falls PFLAG Group. Both were very passionate about LGBT issues and did whatever they could do to help out. Both of them would tend informational booths, march in parades (Carolyn loved how the PFLAG parents always got the biggest cheers). Carolyn and Rex also attended almost every Lobby Day in Des Moines. Not an easy task in the middle of winter in Iowa when you live a ways away. Because they lived in Independence, Carolyn also was a contact person for people to call and talk to for that area. Carolyn and Rex had a gay son, Kendall that went to school in Independence and Carolyn was very involved in creating a favorable environment for LGBTQA youth and advocated to the schools for inclusion and anti-bullying policies. Carolyn and Rex were also involved in the Buchanan County Democrats, but I don’t know much about their work with them. I know they earned the 2011
Outstanding Democrat of the year from the Buchanan County Democratic Central Committee. They always talked about butting heads with their representative. As for fond memories of them, I remember each as having a big heart and that they cared passionately for their family and just wanted to make the world a better place for others. I also know they really loved each other and it’s not a surprise to me that they passed so close together.
Jim Young
Rex and Carolyn were instrumental people in my life as I came out in 1994. They were often a PFLAG or ACCESS meetings. At the time, ACCESS was a support group that met on a monthly basis if not more often than that. They were instantly warm and loving to me. I considered them like a second mom and dad. I’d send a card at their birthdays or anniversary, and Carolyn would say that I was doing better than their own kids! Carolyn and Rex invited me to their home, and I helped them move into their home. Carolyn helped me cane some chairs I was restoring/refinishing—we both had a love for antiques and this art was something her mother-in-law had taught her. When I had a house warming party, she brought a cake from her daughter’s cake business. She and Rex had a great time interacting with my gay friends and
I remember each as having a big heart and that they cared passionately for their family and just wanted to make the world a better place for others.
Carolyn pictured with Presidential Candidate Barack Obama, October 4, 2007 at the Buchanan County Fair. Kendall says that his mother kept this in an important place and was told by his mother that she spoke about gay marriage to President Obama. His stance then, and Mom agreed, was that a civil arrangement could stand in substitute of marriage. Both their views ‘evolved’. my work friends. I have a lot of good memories with them from the times we had a local pride picnic out at George Wyth Park. They always had a good laugh with you. They’d joke with anyone. The hours I spent with Carolyn’s guidance when caning the chairs was spent laughing and working. She shared many
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DECEMBER 2013
Section 3: Community
ACCESSline Page 25
FFBC: Jody Jenner by Bruce Carr Prime Timers of Central Iowa
Jody Jenner , President and CEO of Broadlawns Medical Center. The First Friday Breakfast Club guest speaker on November 1st was Jody Jenner, President and CEO of Broadlawns Medical Center. Mr. Jenner, who came to Des Moines to assume this post in April of 2006, outlined for us some of the changes he has brought to the old County Hospital during the past seven years, and his and the medical center Board’s and Foundation’s visions for the future. Broadlawns first opened its doors as a hospital to the residents of Polk County in April 1924. Its mission now is to be an acute-care, community hospital, supported by several specialty clinics that serve the medical, surgical, mental health, and primary health care needs of the residents of Polk County. Broadlawns has ended the past four fiscal years in the black, Jenner noted, after experiencing multimillion-dollar losses between 2001 and 2006. “Our solid operating results over the last several years allowed us to go in and borrow some money for our facilities,” Jenner said. In 2010, Broadlawns issued its third $10 million round of revenue bonds; the $30 million borrowed has financed the bulk of its construction. Iowa Health—Des Moines committed $1 million to the project and has pledged to match $1 for every $2 in private contributions Broadlawns raises, or up to $1.4 million more. Other significant contributors include Variety—The Children’s Charity, which donated $865,000 for the pediatrics clinic to be built in the new medical office building, and $350,000 from Prairie Meadows Racetrack and Casino. The center is now seeking additional private funds through a capital campaign to complete the project’s third phase. “We’ve got about two-thirds of the funding that we need,” Jenner said. “We still need another $15 million to complete the renovations, and we want to get the community involved and embrace Broadlawns Medical Center. We really do feel that we’re a sort of a gem for the community. The quality of our patient care is exceeding national averages; we’ve got patient satisfaction that has improved significantly,” he said. “We’ve got an engaged work force, lower employee turnover than
the typical hospital. Our financials are coming nicely in line. We really feel the community can be proud of Broadlawns.” New construction included a $15 million addition which now provides a space four times larger than the old emergency department. Approximately 15 percent of all emergency-room visits in Polk County come through Broadlawns’ doors, Jenner noted. “Between our urgent care and emergency departments, we’ll have about 65,000 patients annually; those numbers are up about 13 percent,” he said. Today, Jenner said that Broadlawns Medical Center comprise the following: Excellent general medical, surgical, mental health, and primary health care services Specialty clinics in family health, pediatrics, podiatry, internal medicine, dentistry, mental health, and women’s health care Advanced medical procedures in anklereplacement surgery, amputation prevention, and pain management Comprehensive inpatient and outpatient mental health care programs A 60-member physician practice with more than 300 physicians on staff and 26 nurse practitioners and physician assistants Respected residency programs in family medicine, transition year, and podiatry affiliated with the University of Iowa Carver College of Medicine and Des Moines University. More than 300 students are in various stages of professional development Residency program graduates are serving in 22 Iowa counties and in communities across the nation A particularly interesting part of the modernization plan is Broadlawns’ commitment to be the Iowa leader in electronic medical records implementation, Jenner said. The center is now using palm scanners to register and check-in patients. The new system, called PatientSecure, includes 35 palm scanners, an investment of $90,000. “Our long-term goal, and we’ve talked about this at the board level, is really to be the best small public hospital in America—and I think we’re well on our way to doing that,” Jenner concluded. Jody Jenner graduated cum laude with a Bachelor of Science in Business Administration (Economics) and a Master of Business Administration degree, both from the University of South Dakota. He also graduated magna cum laude with a Bachelor of Science in Nursing from Creighton University in Omaha. He is a registered nurse and a licensed nursing home administrator. Before his arrival at Broadlawns, he was the Chief Executive Officer and Administrator of the Pipestone County (Minnesota) Medical Center, an affiliate of Avera Health System. Before that, he was with the Banner Health System and held hospital chief operating officer positions in Wyoming and South Dakota. Preceding his career in healthcare, he held various management and leadership positions in finance and administration with the IBM Corporation. Jody Jenner can be contacted at the Medical Center at 282-2200 and through Broadlawns.org.
Approximately 15 percent of all emergency-room visits in Polk County come through Broadlawns’ doors.
Prime Timers of Central Iowa, the Iowa chapter of Prime Timers World Wide, continues to grow and has expanded across Iowa and even across our borders. It has now launched its website: www.primetimersww.com/centraliowa/ Prime Timers of Central Iowa wishes to congratulate the newly established Prime Timers chapter in Omaha. Several of their men have attended PTCI events and decided they needed a chapter there. At their organizational meeting held in November, they had 56 men attend. The need for social support for mature gay/bi/questioning men is clear. PTCI had a large turnout for our Hallow-
een party. Prizes were awarded in several categories. The planned Christmas party has already attracted a lot of interest. For information about Prime Timers of Central Iowa, send an email to PrimeTimerIowa@gmail.com or follow us on Facebook. If you want to learn about membership or be on the mailing list, contact PrimeTimersIowa@gmail.com or follow us on Facebook. For more information contact: PrimeTimersIowa@ gmail.com. Follow us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/PrimeTimersOfCentralIowa
LGBTQ Patient & Family
Education and Support Groups
Come join the UI LGBTQ Clinic providers and other health professionals to learn about various health and wellness topics and have the opportunity to meet new people! This Thursday, July 18th at 5:30pm in 2520B UCC, come for the next installment of the LGBTQ Patient & Family Education & Support Groups. August 1 - Medical Care for the Gender Non-Conforming Child, Katie Larsen Ode, MD August 8 - Safer Sex for Gay and Bisexual Men, Cody Shafer, Health Educator: HIV and Hepatitis Programs August 15 - Lesbian and Bisexual Women PMS, Susan Johnson, PhD August 22 - Gay and Bisexual Men and Fatherhood, Ellen Lewin, PhD August 29 - Creating a Supportive Environment for the Gender Non-Conforming Child, Peter Daniolos, MD
Hours: Every Thursday evening 5:30-7:00pm Location: University Capitol Center (UCC), Located in Old Capitol Mall 201 S. Clinton St., Iowa City IA RM 2520B Contact: meagan-schorr@uiowa.edu or www.uihealthcare.org/lgbt/
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Section 3: Community
DECEMBER 2013
From the Pastor’s Pen by Rev. Jonathan Page
Ayn Rand and the Emergence of Gay Rights
I have a number of gay friends who are big fans of the novelist and philosopher Ayn Rand. It is easy to see why. Rand promotes the resilience of the human spirit, individual agency, the productive capacity of humanity, and, perhaps most importantly for gay rights, a libertarian form of government. For a pure Objectivist, the name Rand gave for her philosophy, each individual should be allowed to live his or her life as he or she sees fit. According to Objectivists, religion and societal morality, two things that have kept gays oppressed, are merely tools for individual slavery and excuses for taking from the producers of goods. Given this perspective, it might be surprising to discover that Ayn Rand was no supporter of gays and lesbians. Rand, who died in 1982, saw the gay rights movement of the 1970s as a despicable attempt to gain “special privileges.” Of homosexuality, Rand said, “It involves psychological flaws, corruptions, errors, or unfortunate premises…Therefore I regard it as immoral… And more than that, if you want my really sincere opinion. It’s disgusting.” She believed that companies and private institutions could, and perhaps should, discriminate against gays and lesbians but, true to her libertarian beliefs, did not think that the government should regulate sexual practices and therefore supported the repeal of sodomy laws. Rand’s views on homosexuality have been so disturbing to many of her followers that they have
worked to minimize their effect. However, these apologetics miss that her views on gays stem from the same source as her Objectivist philosophy. In her essay, “The Objectivist Ethics,” found in her collection The Virtue of Selfishness, Rand shows her appreciation for the philosophy of Aristotle. Like Aristotle, Rand attempts to ground her philosophical perspective scientifically in nature. Since survival is the one true ground of value for all living creatures, it should also be the governing factor in ethical living. That which promotes your survival is good. That which detracts from it is bad. Rationality is essential for discerning what truly promotes self-preservation. Since society will often promote values for its communal health, many of which might detract from individual thriving, an ethical human should reject communal values like altruism. While this appeal to nature as a basis for ethics might seem appealing, it also explains Rand’s disgust with homosexuality. Like Aristotle, Rand relied too heavily on her capacity to discern the true ends of human existence. Since heterosexuality seems to be the natural way of life, homosexuality is an
abhorrent distortion of nature and ethics. I would imagine that she, like most of her contemporaries, blamed homosexuality on social causes, i.e. the distortion of gender roles when young or sexual abuse. This distorted perspective should lead gays to question the very grounds of her philosophy. Her views on nature were wrong with regards to homosexuality as they were wrong in a number of other ways. In light of Rand’s opinions, it is particularly intriguing to consider what has actually led to greater acceptance of gays and lesbians in our society. Gay Objectivists are strong libertarians and might believe, falsely, that libertarianism has propelled gay rights. It has not. Equality before the law does not translate into acceptance. Laws have to be enforced, and when bigotry is involved, justice is rarely done. Moreover, our society is not, and never has been, libertarian. In fact, I am unaware of any society at any time that has been truly libertarian. Today our society is both more and less libertarian than in the past. The fact is that Rand’s utopian vision for society has not been instrumental for gay rights. Instead, what has always propelled gay rights, against religion, societal morals, and
gets calls from people who fear going back to their home country because of their sexual orientation. If you are lesbian, gay or bisexual, and your home country has a history of violence or oppression towards LGB people, your concerns are very serious. Thankfully, there are potential legal options for you, if you need to stay in the United States. You may apply for asylum relief if you are unable or unwilling to
return to your country of nationality because of a history of persecution or a well-founded fear of persecution on account of race, religion, nationality, membership in a particular social group, or political opinion. There are some barriers to an application for asylum, including conviction of a serious crime while in the United States and other circumstances. Asylum is overseen by the Immigration and Nationality Act, and if you would like more information about seeking asylum, you can call our help desk or check the Department of Justice’s website section on asylum at http://www.justice.gov/eoir/ press/09/AsylumWithholdingCATProtections.pdf If you don’t qualify for asylum, but still fear going back to your home country, there may be other ways to stay in the United States. The United Nations Convention Against Torture (CAT) is an international agreement that aims to prevent torture of people, including those who are LGB, around the world. Lambda Legal recently filed a friend-ofthe-court brief with the Board of Immigration Appeals, asking the Board to reverse an Immigration Judge’s ruling that denied a Jamaican immigrant’s application for protection under the CAT against being removed to Jamaica. The judge had denied the man’s application because he felt that the applicant
Of homosexuality, Rand said, “It involves psychological flaws, corruptions, errors, or unfortunate premises… Therefore I regard it as immoral…And more than that, if you want my really sincere opinion. It’s disgusting.”
Ask Lambda Legal By By Thomas Ude, Jr. Asylum and Sexual Orientation
Q: I have been going to school in the United States for a couple of years, and during that time, I came out of the closet. As graduation gets closer I’m afraid of going back to my home country because over there, gays and lesbians are persecuted. What are my options? A: First, congratulations on coming out and your imminent completion of an advanced degree. Getting through school while coming out makes both efforts that much more complicated and difficult. Lambda Legal’s help desk regularly
FFBC member Jonathan Page is senior pastor of the Ames United Church of Christ, 217 6th Street, Ames, Iowa. Sunday service is at 10:45. He can be reached at jon@Amesucc.org. bad science, is one human being’s compassion for another. It is compassion, seeing and caring for the other, that leads to greater acceptance and change. As people have come out of the closet and had the courage to be themselves, their straight friends and family have come to accept them as such. It has been a long, and at times agonizing, process, but mutual concern is what has made the difference. When you no longer see gays as “the other” and instead see them as fellow humans, you begin the journey towards full acceptance. Love, compassion, and courage, and not Objectivist libertarianism, have been the path to liberation. This is where true religion, as opposed
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If you are lesbian, gay or bisexual, and your home country has a history of violence or oppression towards LGB people, your concerns are very serious.
Thomas Ude, Jr. Senior Staff Attorney had not “proved” he was gay–a conclusion reached despite the client’s own testimony, and additional testimony from two romantic partners, that he is gay. Lambda Legal, along with several national advocacy groups submitted a brief outlining the complex nature of sexual orientation and explaining that the coming out process can be quite complicated, and is shaped by each person’s unique circumstances and background. The Board of Immigration Appeals agreed with us and sent the case back to the immigration court for further review, and we are hopeful that the applicant will be able to stay safe in the U.S. If you have any questions about seeking asylum, or think you have been discriminated against you are LGBT, contact our help desk at 1-866-542-8336 or visit www.lambdalegal. org/help
DECEMBER 2013
Section 3: Community
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A Church Where Everyone Is Equal by Rev. Peter Trabaris Preparation for New Beginnings and For Change
During the month of December regardless of faith tradition, or perspectives, we focus in various ways on the themes of preparation and change, and most importantly new beginnings. December, being the last month of the year, makes us think about how we have lived our lives during the previous twelve months, and what we will do in the coming New Year. Did we accomplish everything that we wanted to do? Were we the person that we wanted to be? During December we also engage in various ways throughout our society, which help us to process these questions and consider how we will live our lives differently in the coming year. For Muslims, Ashura, a day for fasting that causes us to remember the day that Noah left the Ark and when Moses was saved by God from the Egyptians. Bodhi Day celebrates Buddha’s Enlightenment. Chanukkah, the Festival of Lights, recalls the rededication of the Temple. Christmas, celebrating and recalling the birth of Jesus. And Kwanzaa, late in December, calls us to remember the importance of family, community, and of sharing and enjoying the fruits of our work. For those of us in the LGBTQ Community, December is also the month when we observe World AIDS Day. World AIDS Day brings us together to remember and honor
the many that have died from HIV/AIDS. It also causes us to remember that HIV/AIDS is still among us, and that there is an ongoing need for us to continue to be diligent in our sexual practices. Being tested regularly (especially if sexually active) and continuing to understand that while overall HIV infections are down. According to the latest UNAIDS 2013 Global Report, there are roughly 35.3 million people living with HIV around the world, including 2.1 million young people ages 10-19 around the world—and that among males, the infection rate is still higher among men who have sex with men (Sidibe, 2012). And for many of us, December also includes a new tradition, the tradition that I call LGBT Chorus Day! That may sound out of place when lifted up alongside the other observances that I have mentioned, but I submit that attending the local chorus performance each December, is becoming one of the two ways that we come together as an LGBTQ Community across our affinities. We come together to observe World AIDS Day and attending the chorus not only brings us together, but makes a book end to World AIDS Day observances. On World AIDS Day we process loss and ponder new responsibilities, and the choruses helps us to both process and celebrate—and begin
to move forward. I remember how, years ago, during the height of the HIV/AIDS Crisis, attending the Gay Chorus concert felt like a religious experience. It provided us a way to think about what was going on all around us, while allowing us an avenue, to come together as a whole community, irrespective of faith perspectives, to process on a spiritual plane, created by the musical experience, our grief. In addition, it helped us to know that we were not in it alone. We were together and together we could face whatever was happening around us. We could find comfort and solace in the middle of all of the sickness, and the dying. And when the chorus would sing, There’s a Place for Us, through the tears that would inevitably flow, find healing together for our wounded souls. And in those moments the barriers between gay men, lesbian women, bi-sexuals, transgender men and women, and our heterosexual allies, that were stronger in those days, would fall, and we, for the duration of the concert would become one undivided community. For those of us in the Christian community, December brings Advent, which is a time for introspection. During the four Sundays of Advent, and the weeks in-between, we
I submit that attending the local chorus performance each December, is becoming one of the two ways that we come together as an LGBTQ Community across our affinities.
TTTRABARIS cont’d page 30
Rev. Peter Trabaris, Interim Pastor, MCC of Central Iowa. Peter has served as the pastor of four MCC congregations in Illinois, and Iowa, and has functioned in denominational leadership, most recently serving the MCC North Central US Network. Peter has represented to the National Council of the Churches of Christ USA, and has served on the Executive Boards of the Church Federation of Greater Chicago, the Hyde-Park and Kenwood Interfaith Council, the Lakeview Overnight Shelter Board, and was the Co-Founder of the Northeast Lake County Clergy Network. Peter was an activist in the LGBTQ Community working for the Illinois Gay and Lesbian Student Caucus, the Illinois Gay and Lesbian Task Force, and the Helping Hands Outreach AIDS Ministry. Peter can be reached at: revpetert.mccciowa@aim.com and 515-393-7565.
Planned Parenthood of the Heartland by Sharon Miller, Director of Education and Outreach December 1st was World AIDS Day, but this entire month is an opportunity to raise awareness and prevent the spread of HIV/AIDS. We’ve come a long way in the fight against HIV/AIDS, yet the epidemic continues to affect millions of people across the country every year. The foundation for preventing the spread of HIV/ AIDS is to increase access to education and affordable health care. Historically, the highest rates of HIV infection are found in the communities with the least access to affordable preventive health care. Overall, in the U.S., men who have sex with men, particularly young African-American men, have the highest rates of HIV infection. Among women, women of color remain disproportionately affected by the epidemic. As a leading health care provider and advocate, Planned Parenthood is committed to reducing the impact of HIV/AIDS by providing nonjudgmental, comprehensive reproductive health care to all women, men and young people. Sex education, HIV testing and access to contraception are essential resources we provide to our patients every day. We offer affordable rapid HIV testing, so patients can be tested and learn their status within minutes. Anyone who needs additional care is
immediately connected with our trusted resources and health care partners. Education also is a big part of staying healthy and preventing the spread of HIV/ AIDS, especially among young people. Our goal is to empower people with the information they need to take charge of their health. Our team of educators works with thousands of young people and adults every year on topics related to dating and sex, as well as HIV, STD testing and condom use. It’s also critical that all Americans understand the health benefits of the Affordable Care Act. Thousands of people who are eligible for health insurance coverage under the new health care law, including Americans living with HIV, can no longer be denied health insurance because HIV is a “pre-existing condition.” This will increase access to vital health care needs at a more affordable rate for millions of people in need of quality coverage. To truly achieve an AIDS-free generation, we must increase access to reproductive health care, invest in sex education, fully implement the Affordable Care Act and provide support for reproductive health care programs. We need your help to spread awareness, and your promise to take care of your personal health.
ACCESSline Page 28 DIRECTORY NOTICE
The ACCESSline community directory is updated each issue. LISTINGS ARE FREE but are limited by space. Free online listings are available at www.ACCESSlineAMERICA.com. Information about new listings must contain a phone number for publication and a contact (e-mail address, land address, or website) for our records. For more information or to provide corrections, please contact Editor@ACCESSlineAMERICA.com or call (712) 560-1807.
The ACCESSline is expanding our resource directory to include heartland resources outside of Iowa. Please bear with us as we continue improving our resource directory. NATIONAL ORGANIZATIONS
Breur Media Corporation : Website Consultation, Design, Programming, and Hosting. HIV and STD Testing Sites near You, including places where you can get tested for free: hivtest.org/ Crisis or Suicide National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: suicidepreventionlifeline.org Information on Mental Health National Alliance on Mental Illness: nami.org Counseling, Information and Resources about Sexual Orientation GLBT National Help Center: glnh.org or 1-888-843-4564 Information on Mental Health for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender nami.org Information on Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Health, cdc.gov Gay and Lesbian Victory Fund 1133 15th Street NW, Suite 350, Washington, DC 20005, victoryfund.org 202-VICTORY [842-8679] Human Rights Campaign, National political organization, lobbies congress for lesbian & gay issues, political training state and local, hrc.org, 1-800-777HRCF[4723] Lambda Legal Defense & Education Fund I I E. Adams, Suite 1008, Chicago, IL 60603 lambdalegal.org, 312-663-4413 Rivendell Media National Advertising 212-242-6863, sales@rivendellmedia.com National Gay & Lesbian Task Force (NGLTF) - ngltf.org - taskforce.org 1325 Massachusetts Ave NW, Ste 600, Washington, DC, 20005 National Organization for Women (NOW) 733 15th ST NW, 2nd Floor Washington, DC 20005, now.org 202-628-8669 PFLAG National Offices 1133 15th Street NW, Suite 350, Washington, DC 20005, info@pflag.org - pflag.org, 202467-8180 The Trevor Lifeline |Crisis and suicide prevention lifeline for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth. (866) 4-U-TREVOR - (866) 488-7386 Open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. All calls are toll-free and confidential - thetrevorproject.org/
IOWA ORGANIZATIONS
Diviners of God Support line for ex-Amish & ex-Mennonite. 402-328-3229, evenings & afternoons. Equality Iowa P.O. Box 18, Indianola, IA 50125, equalityiowa.org - 515-537-3126 Faithful Voices Interfaith Alliance of Iowa’s marriage equality project. faithfulvoices.org Imperial Court of Iowa Non-profit fundraising & social, statewide organization with members from across the State of Iowa. PO Box 1491, Des Moines, IA 50306-1491 imperialcourtofiowa.org Iowa Chapter of the National Organization for Women (NOW) Janis Bowden, President, IA NOW janleebow@aol.com PO Box 41114, Des Moines, IA 503111
Section 3: Community Iowa Gay Rodeo Association (IAGRA) 921 Diagonal Rd, Malcom, IA 50157 polebender60@yahoo.com 641-990-1411 Iowa PFLAG (Parents, Families & Friends of Lesbians and Gay) State Council, PO Box 18, Indianola, IA 50125 http://community.pflag.org/Page. aspx?pid=194&srcid=-2 515-537-3126 or 641-583-2024 Iowa Pride Network 777 Third Street, Suite 312, Des Moines, Iowa 50309 - Iowapridenetwork.org, Executive Director: 515-471-8062, Outreach Coordinator: 515-471-8063 LGBT Youth in Iowa Schools Task Force PO Box 1997, Des Moines, 50306 515-243-1221 One Iowa 500 East Locust St, Ste 300, Des Moines, IA 50309 - 515-288-4019 - OneIowa.org The Quire Eastern Iowa’s GLBT chorus, thequire.org
NEBRASKA ORGANIZATIONS (LIST IN PROGRESS)
Citizens For Equal Protection-402-398-3027 1105 Howard St, Suite #2, Omaha, NE 68102. cfep-ne.org - info@cfep-ne.org The Imperial Court of Nebraska Meets the third Monday of Every month at the Rainbow Outreach Resource Center at 17th and Leavenworth in Omaha, NE. Meetings start at 6pm and are open to the public. PO Box 3772, Omaha, NE 68103 Nebraska AIDS Project Omaha Office (Home Office) 250 South 77th Street Suite A Omaha, NE 68114 (402) 552-9260 - Email us: info@nap.org (also serving Southwest Iowa)
AMES, IOWA
First United Methodist Church 516 Kellogg Ave, Ames, IA 50010, Contemporary worship Sat 5:30; Sun 8:30 & 11am acswebnetworks.com/firstunitedmcames/ 515-232-2750 ISU LGBTA Alliance GLBT Support, Activism, Social Events, Newsletter - 515-344-4478 L East Student Office Space,2229 Lincoln Way, Ames, IA 50014-7163, alliance@iastate. edu - alliance.stuorg.iastate.edu Living with HIV Program, MICA 230 SE 16th Street, Ames, IA 50010, Ask for Helen (Director), 515-956-3333 ext. 106 or 800-890-8230 Lord of Life Lutheran - 515-233-2350 2126 Gable Lane, Ames 50014, Services Sundays at 9:00a.m.; Wed. 7:00pm. PFLAG Ames Youth and Shelter Services Offices, 2328 Bristol Drive, Ames, IA 5001, 2nd Tuesday, 7pm - pflagames.org 515-291-3607 Romantics Pleasure Palace 117 Kellogg Street, Ames, IA 50010-3315 romantixonline.com 515-232-7717 United Church of Christ-Congregational 217 6th Street, Ames, Iowa, 50010, Sunday Continental Breakfast, 9:00am; Sunday School, 9:30am; Worship 10:45am. office@ amesucc.org 515-232-9323 Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Ames 1015 Hyland Ave. Summer services: 10:00 am, Sunday. Services 10 a.m. for the rest of the summer. Contact uufa@uufames.org and www.uufames.org or call 515-231-8150. Also, the email and website are uufa@ uufames.org and www.uufames.org Unity Church of Ames - unityofames.com 226 9th St, Ames, IA 50010-6210, Sunday service and Sunday school 10:30am. Wednesday mediation 6:30pm Daily dial-a-blessing 515-233-1613
ARNOLDS PARK, OKOBOJI, SPENCER, SPIRIT LAKE, IOWA
The Royal Wedding Chapel 504 Church Street, Royal, IA 51357 712-933-2223 TheRoyalWeddingChapel.com Wilson Resource Center An Iowa Great Lakes area gay-owned, nonprofit community based organization. PO Box 486, 597 W. Okoboji Rd., Arnolds Park IA 51331-0486 - 712-332-5043 F.JosephWilson@aol.com. wilsonresource. org
BURLINGTON, IOWA
Arrowhead Motel - arrowheadia.com 2520 Mount Pleasant St, Burlington, IA 52601-2118 - 319-752-6353 Faith Lutheran Church E L C A 3109 Sunnyside Ave, Burlington, IA 52601 HIV/AIDS Screening @ Des Moines County Health Department in Burlington, 522 N 3rd By appointment between 8:00am to 4:30 319-753-8217 Confidential
RISQUES IV (adult store) 421 Dry Creek Ave, West Burlington, IA 52601 (319) 753-5455, Sun - Wed 8am-Midnight Thurs - Sat Open 24 Hours, LoversPlayground.com Steve’s Place 852 Washington St, Burlington, 319-7545868 Unitarian Universalist Fellowship Services start at 10:30 am, 625 N 6th St, Burlington, IA 52601-5032, (319) 753-1895 uuburlington.org
CEDAR FALLS - WATERLOO, IOWA
Adult Cinema 315 E 4th St, Waterloo, IA 50703-4703, (319) 234-7459 Black Hawk Co. Health Department Free HIV testing (donations accepted); MW, 1:00pm to 3:00pm; Thurs, 1:00pm to 4:45pm 1407 Independence Ave. (5th fl), Waterloo 50703 319-291 -2413 Cedar AIDS Support System (CASS) Service, support groups & trained volunteers for persons with HIV/AIDS in Waterloo/CF call Elizabeth or Karla, 319-272-AIDS(2437). cvhospice@forbin.net Cedar Valley Counseling Services Promoting personal growth and development in a strengths-based environment, Joan E. Farstad, MA, Director. 319-240-4615, cvcounseling.com farstd@cvcounseling.com. Cedar Valley Episcopal Campus Ministry. In Lutheran Center, 2616 College St, Cedar Falls, IA - 319-415-5747, mcdinoiwa@aol. com, episcopalcampus.org Community AIDS Assistance Project (CAAP) - PO Box 36, Waterloo, IA 50704 LGBTA Support Group at Hawkeye Community College, Call Carol at 319-296-4014 or carol.hedberg@hawkeyecollege.edu Iowa Legal Aid Free civil legal service available to low income persons who qualify under income/asset guidelines. 607 Sycamore, #206, Waterloo, IA 50703 1-800-772-0039 or 319-235-7008 Kings & Queens 304 W. 4th St, Waterloo, IA, 319-232-3001 Romantix Waterloo (Adult Emporium) 1507 La Porte Rd, Waterloo, IA 50702 319-234-9340, romantixonline.com Stellas Guesthouse 324 Summit Ave, Waterloo, IA Private B&B, Overnight accommodations for adults only. 319-232-2122 St. Lukes Episcopal Church - 319-277-8520 2410 Melrose Dr, Cedar Falls, IA 50613 Services: Sunday 8:00 & 10:15, Thurs 11:30 st-lukes-episcopal.org St. Timothys United Methodist Church 3220 Terrace Drive, Cedar Falls, 50613 sttims-umc.org, 319-266-0464, info@sttimsumc-org, “Welcome of all persons, including those of all sexual orientations and gender identities.” Together For Youth 233 Vold Dr, Waterloo, IA 50703, TogetherForYouth.net 319-274-6768 UNI-LGBTA Alliance-Student Organization, 244A Bartlet Hall, University of Northern Iowa, Cedar Falls 50613 - lgbta@uni.edu 319-222-0003 United Church of Christ Cedar Falls 9204 University Avenue, Cedar Falls 319-366-9686 Unitarian Universalist Society of Black Hawk County - 319-266-5640 3912 Cedar Heights Dr, Cedar Falls, IA
CEDAR RAPIDS/MARION, IOWA
Adult Shop 630 66th Ave SW, 319-362-4939 Adult Shop North 5539 Crane Lane, 319-294-5360 CRPrideFest (formerly Cedar Rapids Unity) Social activities, non-profit Pride festival organization. PO Box 1643 Cedar Rapids 52406-1643 - CRPrideFest.com Christ Episcopal Church “We have a place for you.” 220 40th Street NE, Cedar Rapids, IA 52404, 319-363-2029 ChristEpiscopal.org Belle’s Basix - 319-363-3194 Open 5pm to 2am M-F, Sat & Sun 3pm-2am 3916 1st Ave NE, Cedar Rapids Club CO2, A GLBTQA Nightclub, 616 2nd Ave SE, 319-365-0225, Open 7 days a week 4PM-2AM, Happy hour from 4-8 pm, clubco2.com
Coe Alliance GLBTQ and straight students, staff and people from the community. Coe College, 1220 First Ave NE, Cedar Rapids, IA 52402. coealliance@coe.edu or Erica Geers, faculty advisor at 319-8616025 Community Health Free Clinic 947 14th Avenue SE, Cedar Rapids, IA 52401 - 319-363-0416 - communityhfc.org Free Medical Services provided for the uninsured and underserved patients of Cedar Rapids, Marion and the surrounding areas in Eastern Iowa. CSPS Legion Arts Contemporary Arts Center - 319-364-1580 1103 3rd St. SE, info@legionarts.org Diversity Focus, 222 2nd Street SE, Cedar Rapids, Iowa 52401, 319-363-3707, DiversityFocus.org, Lead in the promotion of diversity, cultural awareness, and inclusion in the Corridor community. Eden United Church of Christ 351 8th Ave SW, Cedar Rapids, Iowa 52404 (319) 362-7805 Sunday School 9am - Worship 10:15am Foundation 2 Crisis Counseling 24-hour telephone crisis counseling. f2crisis@aol.com or www.f2online.org 1540 2nd Ave. SE Cedar Rapids, IA 319-362-2174 or 800-332-4224 Linn County Public Health 501 13th NW, Free confidential HIV testing, 319-892-6000 Linn County Stonewall Democrats For more info, contact linnstonewall@ gmail. com People’s Church Unitarian Universalist A welcoming congregation. 4980 Gordon Ave NW, Cedar Rapids, IA. Worship starts at 10 AM and Adult and Children Religious Education is at 11:15 AM on Sundays. 319-362-9827 - peoplesuu.org PFLAG CR, Linn Co and Beyond Support Group meets on the 4th Thursday at 7pm except for Nov Dec - call for details. 319-431-0673, pflaglcb@gmail.com The Linn County Stonewall Democrats Meet 2nd Wednesdays, Blue Strawberry, 118 2nd St SE in Cedar Rapids, IA. Contact Harvey S. Ross, HRoss007@aol.com. Tri-ess, Iota Kappa Phi Chapter P.O. Box 8605, Cedar Rapids, Iowa 52408 We are a transgendered organization supporting crossdressers, their families, and friends. - ri-ess.org, 319-390-6376, georgia523@ yahoo.com - marlenemarschel@yahoo.com Unity Center of Cedar Rapids “A center of positive, practical Christianity.” 4980 Gordon NE, Cedar Rapids unitycr.org - (319) 393-5422
CLINTON, IOWA
18 and Beyond (aka ABC Books), 135 5th Ave South, 563-242-7687 Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Clinton 309 30th Avenue North, Clinton, IA 52732 (563) 242-4972 - uuclinton.org, Sunday services at 10:30 (year-round), Where YOUR spiritual and ethical journey is welcome! Rev. Ruby Nancy, minister
COUNCIL BLUFFS, IOWA
Council Bluffs Community Alliance “…will promote the city of Council Bluffs as a developing gay, lesbian, bisexual & transgender family community, & to assure the equality of all Council Bluffs’ residents.” CouncilBluffsCommunityAlliance.org Council Bluffs NOW PO Box 3325, Omaha, NE 68103-0325 Romantix Council Bluffs (North) (Adult Emporium) 3216 1st Ave, Council Bluffs, IA 51501-3353-romantixonline.com515-955-9756 Romantix Council Bluffs (South) (Romantix After Dark) 50662 189th St, Council Bluffs, IA 51503 romantixonline.com, 712-366-1764
DECORAH, IOWA
Decorah Human Rights Commission Contact: City Clerk, 400 Clairborne Dr, Decorah, 563-382-3651, Meetings: First Tuesdays, 5:30pm Luther College Student Congregation Contact Office for College Ministry 700 College Dr, Decorah, IA 52101, 563-3871040. Luther College PRIDE-Diversity Center, 700 College Dr, Decorah, IA 52101 Contact Charles 563-210-6570 PFLAG Northeast IA (Waukon/Decorah) Meets 4th Monday of the month at 7 PM in Northeast Iowa Peace and Justice Center, 119 Winnebago St., Decorah. Contact Ellen C. at 563-380-4626.
DECEMBER 2013 Unitarian Universalist Fellowship Meets alternating Sundays at 10:30am, Decorah Senior Center, 806 River St, Call Bill at 563-382-3458.
DES MOINES, IOWA
AIDS Project of Central Iowa Free HIV testing, prevention supplies, care services, food pantry, information. 711 E. 2nd, Des Moines, IA 50309, 515-284-0245 Blazing Saddle 416 E 5th St, Des Moines, IA theblazingsaddle.com - 515-246-1299 Buddies Corral 418 E 5th St, Des Moines, IA - 515-244-7140 Des Moines Diversity Chorus [A gay-friendly mixed chorus] Rehearsals on Mondays at 7 p.m. at Westminster Presbyterian Church, Beaver Ave. at Franklin St., Des Moines. All are welcome, no auditions. PO Box 65312, West Des Moines, IA 50265, Julie Murphy, Artistic Director jahmurphy@hotmail.com, 515-255-3576, desmoinesdiversitychorus.org Des Moines Gay Men’s Chorus 515-953-1540, 4126 Ingersoll Ave, Des Moines - administrator@dmgmc.org Des Moines Pride Center @ One Iowa (temporary location) 419 SW, 8th St., Des Moines, IA 50309 Family Practice Center - 515-953-7560 Safe, supportive LGBT health care. 200 Army Post Road, Ste 26, ppgi.org First Friday Breakfast Club Educational breakfast club for gay/bisexual men. Meets first Friday of each month. Contact Jonathan Wilson for meeting topic and place. 515-288-2500 info@ffbciowa.org ffbciowa.org First Unitarian Church 1800 Bell Avenue, Services Sundays at 9:30 & 11am - 515-244-8603, ucdsm.org Franklin Family Practice Dr. Joe Freund, MD 4908 Franklin Ave., Des Moines, IA 50310 515-280-4930, ucsinformation@ucsdsm.org, UCSOnline.org/FranklinFamilyPractice The Gallery (adult store) 1000 Cherry St, Des Moines, IA 50309-4227 - (515) 244-2916 Open 24 Hrs, LoversPlayground.com The Garden 112 SE 4th Des Moines, IA, 515-243-3965 Wed-Sun. 8pm-2am grdn.com Gay & Lesbian AA & AI-Anonymous Mon 7pm; Tue-Thu 6pm; Sat. 5:30pm, at Drake Ministries in Ed. Bldg. 28th & University Gay and Lesbian Issues Committee 4211 Grand Avenue, Level-3, Des Moines, IA 50312 - 515-277-1117 Lavender Victory Fund Financial assistance for women in need for medical emergencies. lavendervf@aol.com Le Boi Bar 508 Indianola Rd, Des Moines, IA Liberty Gifts 333 E. Grand Ave, Loft 105, Des Moines, IA Gay owned specialty clothing, jewelry, home decor. 515-508-0825 MINX Show Palace - 515-266-2744 1510 NE Broadway, Des Moines, IA 50313 MCC of Central Iowa 2500 University Ave, 2nd Floor Chapel, Worship, Sunday at 11:00 am, Pastor’s Email: MCCofCentralIowa@gmail.com, 515-393-7565 North Star Gay Rodeo Association of IGRA, Iowa Division of North Star, NSGRA@ NSGRA.org or 612-82-RODEO Primary Health Care Inc., David Yurdin, 2353 SE 14th St., Des Moines, 503020, Works with GLBT ages 16 to geriatric, 25 years of experience. 515-248-1427 Rainbow Union, Drake University ru@drake.edu PFLAG Des Moines - 515-243-0313 1300 Locust , Des Moines, IA 50312 Plymouth Congregational UCC Church and the Plymouth GLBT Community 4126 Ingersoll Ave. 515-255-3149 Services at 9am & I lam Sunday. PlymouthGLBT.com Polk County Health Department Free STD, HIV, and Hepatitis B & C testing. HIV. Rapid testing also offered. 1907 Carpenter, Des Moines, IA, 515-286-3798. Pride Alliance, AIB College of Business Gay and straight students celebrating diversity. Contact: Mike Smith, Advisor, PrideAlliance@aib.edu - aib.edu/pride Pride Bowling League for GLBT & Supporters - Every Wednesday, 7 PM, Air Lanes Bowling Center 4200 Fleur Drive, Des Moines, IA 50321-2389. Email pridebowlingleague@gmail.com or 515-447-2977.
TTDIRECTORY cont’d page 29
DECEMBER 2013 SScontinued from page 28
DIRECTORY
Raccoon River Resort Accommodations for men, women, or mixed in campgrounds, lodge, Teepees or Treehouses. Reservations: 515-996-2829 or 515-279-7312 Ritual Café - ritualcafe.com On 13th between Grand and Locust. Gay owned, great music, awesome food & coffee. 515-288-4872 ritualcafe@aol.com Romantix North Des Moines Iowa (Bachelor’s Library) 2020 E Euclid Ave, Des Moines, IA 50317, romantixonline.com 515266-7992 Spouses of Lesbians & Gays Support group for spouses of gays and lesbians. 515-277-7754 St. John’s Lutheran Church 600 6th Ave “A Church for All People.” Services Sat 5pm, Sun 7:45, 8:45 & 11am. See web page for other services. 515-243-7691 - StJohnsDSM.org TransformationsIOWA Meets every Wednesday at 7pm, 2nd saturday of each month at 1pm at OneIowa, 419 SW 8th St, Des Moines, IA. For more information email sophia.transformations@gmail.com or call 515-288-4019 x200 Trinity United Methodist Church 1548 Eighth Street - 515-288-4056 Services Sundays 10am, trinityumcdm.org Urbandale UCC - An open & affirming congregation. 3530 70th St., Urbandale, IA 50322, 515-276-0625, urbucc.org Walnut Hills UMC Join us at 9:30 am for Sunday worship. Sunday classes & group studies at 10:45 am. 515-270-9226, 12321 Hickman Rd, Urbandale, IA 50323, whumc.org Westminster Presbyterian Church 4114 Allison Ave - WestPres.org Sunday services 8:45 and 11am. Of note is their GAY-LESBIAN-STRAIGHT AFFIRMATION GROUP, GLSA 515-274-1534 Women’s Culture Collective (WCC) A lesbian social group. Des Moines, IA iowawcc.org Word of God Ministries, Sunday service: 3:00pm, at 3120 E 24th Street, Des Moines, Iowa 50317, Gay, lesbian & straight affirmation 515-707-5947. Zanzibar’s Coffee Adventure Open daily. Gay-friendly, 515-244-7694 2723 Ingersoll, Des Moines, IA
DUBUQUE, IOWA
920 Main 920 Main St., Dubuque, Iowa 52001, Tue Sat: 8:00 pm - 2:00 am, (563) 583-2121 or dbq.gaybar@hotmail.com Adult Warehouse - 563-588-9814 975 Jackson St, Dubuque, IA Dubuque Friends Worship Group (Quakers) Join us at an unprogrammed worship service on Sunday at 10am. Welcoming and Affirming, 563-582-9388 St. Mark’s Community Center, 1201 White Street, Dubuque, Iowa 52001 Rainbow Pride support and socialization group. For members of the LGBT+ community who want to expand their social circle, get support for LGBT specific issues, & help with advocacy. Meets Mondays at 1pm Hillcrest Wellness Center 225 W 6th St., Dubuque, IA 563-690-1239 PFLAG Dubuque/Tri-State Carnegie Stout Library, 3rd Floor Conference Room, 360 W. 11th St. 3rd Tuesday, 7pm 563-581-4606 Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Dubuque - “The uncommon denomination.” general services at 10am. 1699 Iowa St, Dubuque, IA uuf-dbq.org 563-583-9910
ELKADER, IOWA
Bethany Church (ELCA) - 563-245-1856 307 3rd St. NE, Elkader, IA 52043 Inclusive. Welcoming. A ‘ReconcilingWorks’ congregation. www.bethanychurchelkader.org bethanychurch@alpinecom.net Schera’s Restaurant & Bar 107 S Main St, Elkader, IA 52043, Scheras.com, E-mail: info@scheras.com Fine dining featuring Algerian & American Cuisine. 563-245-1992
FORT DODGE, IOWA
Romantix Fort Dodge (Mini Cinema) Sun-Thu 10am-12am, Fri & Sat 10am-2am 15 N. 5th St, Fort Dodge, IA 50501-3801 RomantixOnline.com - 515-955-9756
Section 3: Community GRINNELL, IOWA
Broadviewwildflowerseed.com, Broad View Wildflower Seed, 428 Hamilton Ave., Grinnell, Iowa 50112, Manager/Owner: John C., chicoski7@yahoo.com Saints Ephrem & Macrina Sunday services at 10am. (Affiliated with the Orthodox-Catholic Church of America.) Divine Liturgy is served Sundays during the College academic year 1:30 p.m., Herrick Chapel, Grinnell College Campus, 1226 Broad Street, Grinnell, IA, 641-236-0936 Stonewall Resource Center Open 4:30pm to 11:30pm, Sun through Thurs and by Appointment., Grinnell College, 1210 Park Street PO Box B-1, Grinnell, IA, 50112, srcenter@ grinnell.edu 641-269-3327 United Church of Christ-Congregational, ‘An open and affirming church.’ 902 Broad St, 641-236-3111
INDIANOLA, IOWA
Crossroads United Church of Christ (UCC) An Open & affirming congregation. Services: Sunday 10:30am, Summer worship: June, July, Aug, @ 9:30 am, worshiping in the Lounge at Smith Chapel, Simpson College, corner of Buxton and Clinton. Mailing address: P.O. Box 811, Indianola, IA 50125 515-961-9370. crossroadsucc.org
IOWA CITY, IOWA
AA (GLBT) 319-338-9111 Meetings Sundays 5 - 6pm at First Baptist Church, 500 North Clinton Street. For more info, call IC Intergroup Answering Service, Congregational Church UCC An Open and Affirming Congregation, Sunday Worship 10:15 a.m. 30 N Clinton St (across from Ul Pentacrest) 319-337-4301 - uiccic.org Counseling Clinic 319-354-6238 Lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender sensitive and supportive counseling for individuals, couples, families and groups. Sliding Fee. 505 E Washington St., Iowa City, IA 52240 Counseling and Health Center Client-centered therapy. Les-Bi-Gay-Trans always welcome. 616 Bloomington St, Iowa City, IA - 319-337-1679 Crisis Center 319-351-0140 1121 Gilbert Ct, Iowa City, 52240 Emma Goldman Clinic 227 N. Dubuque St, Iowa City, IA 52245 319-337-2111or 1-800-848-7684. Faith United Church of Christ An open and affirming congregation. 1609 Deforest Street, Iowa City, 52240 Sunday Worship 9:30 AM 319-338-5238 bob.faithucc@g.com, faithucciowacity.org GLBTAU-U of lA Student support system and resource center, info, activism, events, and other community involvements. 203 IMU, University of IA, Iowa City, IA 52242-1317 - 319-335-3251 (voice mail) glbtau@uiowa.edu Hope United Methodist Church Worship Service at 9:30am. 2929 E. Court St., Iowa City, IA - Contact Rev. Sherry Lohman. 319-338-9865 Human Rights Commission (City of Iowa City Human Rights Commission) 319-356-5022; 391-356-5015; 319-356-5014 Fax 319-887-6213 humanrights@iowa-city.org ICARE (Iowa Center for AIDS Resources & Education) Practical & emotional support, youth programs, information, referrals and support groups. 319-338-2135 3211 E 1st Iowa City, IA 52240-4703 Iowa City Free Medical Clinic - 319-337-4459 Free & strictly confidential HIV Testing. 2440 Towncrest Dr Iowa City, Call for appointment Iowa City NOW PO Box 2944, Iowa City, IA 52244 Iowa Women’s Music Festival P.O. Box 3411, Iowa City, IA 52244 319-335-1486 Men Supporting Men 319-356-6038, Ext 2 HIV prevention program. Discussion Groups, Educational Series, Safer Sex Workshops, Book Club. Andy Weigel, email: aweigel@ co.johnson.ia.us New Song Episcopal Church 912 20th Ave, Coralville, IA. Sunday services at 10am. Jennifer Masada, Jane Stewart, and John Greve. 319-351-3577 Pride Committee WRAC, 130 N Madison, Iowa City, IA 52242 Bridget Malone - 319-338-0512 Charles Howes - 319-335-1486 Romantix Iowa City - 319-351-9444 (Pleasure Palace I) 315 Kirkwood Ave, Iowa City, IA 52240-4722 - romantixonline.com
Studio 13 13 S. Linn St. (in the Alley) Iowa City, IA Open 7pm ‘til 2am, daily 319-338-7145 U of I Lesbian, Gay & Bisexual Staff & Faculty Association, c/o WRAC, 130 N Madison, Iowa City, IA 52242, 319-335-1486 Unitarian Universalist Society of Iowa City Inclusive & free religious community nurturing intellectual & spiritual growth & fostering ethical & social responsibility. uusic.org 10 S. Gilbert, Iowa City, IA Sunday services: 9:30am & 11:15am. 319-337-3443 United Action for Youth (UAY) A GLBTQA youth group providing support and counseling for teenagers and young adults processing sexual identity issues. Meets Mondays 7-9pm at UAY 410 Iowa Ave. Iowa City, IA. 319-338-7518 or Teen Line, 319-338-0559. The Ursine Group Bear Events in the Midwest. PO Box 1143, Iowa City, IA 52244-1143 - 319-338-5810 Women’s Resource Action Center (WRAC) Leads & collaborates on projects that serve U of l and the greater community, offers social & support services, including LGBT Coming Out Group. University of Iowa, 130 N Madison, Iowa City, IA 52242 - 319-335-1486
MARSHALLTOWN, IOWA
Adult Odyssey (Adult Video Store) 907 Iowa Ave E - 641-752-6550 Domestic Violence Alternatives/ Sexual Assault Center, Inc., 132 W Main St. 24 hour Crisis Line: 641-753-3513 or (instate only) 800-779-3512
MASON CITY, IOWA
Cerro Gordo County Dept. of Public Health 22 N. Georgia Ave, Ste 300 Mason City, IA 50401. Free confidential AIDS testing. 641421-9321 PFLAG North Iowa Chapter 641-583-2848, pflagmcni@yahoo.com, Carlos O’Kelly’s Mexican Cafe @ 7 p.m. Wed.
MOUNT VERNON, IOWA
Alliance Cornell College 810 Commons Cir # 2035 - alliance@cornellcollege.edu - orgs.cornellcollege.edu/alliance/
PELLA, IOWA
Common Ground (Central College) Support group for GLBT students and allies. Contact: Brandyn Woodard, Director of Intercultural Life woodardb@central.edu 641-628-5134
QUAD CITIES, IOWA
AIDS Project Quad Cities Info, education & support. Davenport, IA 52804, www.apqc4life.org 319-762-LIFE Black Hawk College Unity Alliance Serving GLBT community at Black Hawk College. 6600 34th Ave, Rock Island, IL 309-716-0542. Connections Nightclub 563-322-1121 822 W 2nd St, Davenport, IA 52802 DeLaCerda House 309-786-7386 Provides housing & supportive services, advocacy and referrals for people living with HIV/ AIDS. P.O. Box 4551, Rock Island, Il. 61201 Good Samaritan Free Clinic 309-797-4688 Provides free primary medical care to patients age 16-64 who are working but have no medical insurance. gsfc@mchsi.com 602 35th Ave, Moline, IL GoodSamaritanFreeClinic.org The Hole-In-The-Wall 309-289-2375 A Private Membership Men’s Club, Located 3 miles east of Galesburg, IL. just north of I-74 at Exit 51. HoleInTheWallMensClub.org Holy Spirit Catholic Faith Community Meets one weekend a month for mass. Please visit our web site: www.transformationalcatholicchurch.com for more information or call: 309-278-7909. Lucky Shamrock 313 20th St, Rock Island, IL - 309-788-7426 An Irish Pub open to all types. Mary’s On 2nd 563-884-8014 832 W. 2nd St. Davenport, IA MCC Quad Cities - Svcs Sun 11am, Bible study Wed 7pm 563-324-8281, 3019 N Harrison, Davenport, IA 52803 Men’s Coming Out/Being Out Group Meets 2nd & 4th Thursdays, 7pm. QCAD. outforgood@gmail.com 309-786-2580 PFLAG Quad Cities 563-285-4173 Eldridge United Methodist Church 604 S.2nd St., Eldridge 1st Monday, 6:30 pm Prism (Augustana College) 309-794-7406 Augustana Gay-Straight Alliance, Augustana Library - 639 38th St, Rock Island, IL, Contact Tom Bengston
Quad Citians Affirming Diversity (QCAD) Social & support groups for lesbian, bi, and gay teens, adults, friends & families; newsletter. 309-786-2580 - Community Center located at 1608 2nd Ave, Rock Island. Quad Cities Pride Chorus (Call Don at 563324-0215) At the MCC Church in D’port, 7pm Wed. qcswede64@aol.com Rainbow Gifts www.rainbowgifts.net - 309-764-0559 T.R. Video Adult books & video, 3727 Hickory Grove Rd, Davenport, IA. 563-386-7914 Unitarian Universalist Congregation of the Quad Cities, Rev Jay Wolin, Sunday Service 11am - 563-359-0816 3707 Eastern Avenue, Davenport, IA 52807 Venus News (Adult) 902 W 3rd St, Davenport, IA. 563-322-7576
RED OAK, IOWA
First Congregational United Church of Christ (open and affirming) - 712-623-2794 608 E Reed St, Red Oak, IA 51566 Rev. Elizabeth Dilley, Pastor uccwebsites.net/firstcongredoakia.html firstconguccredoak@yahoo.com
SHENANDOAH, IOWA
PFLAG Shenandoah 1002 South Elm Street - 712-246-2824
SIOUX CITY, IOWA
Am. Business & Professional Guild. Gay Businessmen. Meets last Sat. of the month; ABPG, P. O. BOX 72, Sioux City, 51102 - abpguild@yahoo.com Grace United Methodist Church 1735 Morningside Avenue - 712-276-3452. Jones Street Station (Bar) 712-258-6922 412 Jones St., Nightly 6:00pm to 2:00am. Mayflower Congregational Church 1407 West 18th St - 712-258-8278. Morningside College Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual Alliance Contact Professor Gail Dooley, Advisor Morningside College GSA. 1501 Morningside Ave, Sioux City, IA 51106-1717 dooley@morningside.edu - 712-274-5208 PFLAG Siouxland PO Box 1311, Sioux City, IA 51102 siouxlandPFLAG@aol.com Romantix Sioux City 712-277-8566 511 Pearl St, Sioux City, IA 51101-1217 St. Thomas Episcopal Church Service Sun 10:30am 406 12th St, Waverly, IA Rev Mary Christopher - 712-258-0141 Western Iowa Tech. GSA widemal@juno.com for info.
SIOUX FALLS, SOUTH DAKOTA
Toppers, 1213 N Cliff Ave, Sioux Falls, SD 57103, (605) 339-7686, Su-Tu 7:00pm - Close : We-Sa 3:00pm - 2:00am, sdtoppers.com Center for Equality, PO box 2009 Sioux Falls, SD 57101-2009, 605-331-1153, centersforequalitysd.org
WAVERLY, IOWA
Cedar Valley Episcopal Campus Ministry. 717 W. Bremer, (St. Andrew’s Episcopal) episcoplcampus.org - 319-415-5747 Gay, Lesbian Bisexual Student Alliance Wartburg College, Waverly, IA 50677. Contact Susan Vallem - 319-352-8250 St. Andrew’s Episcopal Church 717 W. Bremer. We welcome all to worship with us on Sunday at 10:30am. Bible discussion Wed. 6:45pm 319-352-1489 Rev. Maureen Doherty, Pastor
NEBRASKA (CONTENT IN PROGRESS) HASTINGS, NEBRASKA
PFLAG Hastings - pat@datacc.net
LINCOLN, NEBRASKA
Indigo Bridge Books The Creamery Building, 701 P St, Ste 102, Lincoln, NE 68508 - 402-477 7770 “Indigo Bridge Books strives to provide a solid, relevant Gender Studies section with a focus on LGBT titles. indigobridgebooks.com Nebraska AIDS Project (Lincoln Office) 1921 South 17th Street, Lincoln, NE 68502 (402) 476-7000 - nap.org OUTLinc - outlinc.org Bringing Lincoln’s LGBT Community Together Panic - 402-435-8764 200 S 18th St, Lincoln, NE 68508
ACCESSline Page 29 PFLAG Cornhusker Chapter PO Box 82034, Lincoln, NE 68501 Meetings 4th Tuesday, Unitarian Church of Lincoln, 6300 A St, 7-9pm pflagcornhusker.org PFLAG Helpline: 402-434-9880 - Confidential Support & Information - We’re Here For You ! Planned Parenthood of the Heartland Sexual and Reproductive Health Care, Transgender Care - (402) 441-3302 2246 O St, Lincoln, NE 68510 The Rainbow Clinic in the UNL Psychological Consultation Center “…a specialty outreach service to the GLBTQ community. Psychological services, including individual, couples & family therapy, are provided within the UNL Psychological Consultation Center by regular PCC staff…open year round; day & evening appointments available. $10 for intake & $25 for therapy sessions. Application can be made for reduced fees based on federal poverty guidelines. 325 Burnett Hall, Lincoln, NE 68588 402-472-2351 unl.edu/psypage/pcc/ Star City Pride starcitypride.org - info@starcitypride.org The Unitarian Church of Lincoln 6300 A Street, Lincoln, NE 68510-5097 (402) 483-2213 - unitarianlincoln.org Sunday from 10am to 11am
OMAHA, NEBRASKA
AIDS Interfaith Network 100 N. 62nd, Omaha, NE Call Br. Wm. Woeger, 402-558-3100 Citizens For Equal Protection-402-398-3027 1105 Howard St, Suite #2, Omaha, NE 68102. cfep-ne.org - info@cfep-ne.org Flixx Bar 1019 S. 10th Street www.flixxomaha.com Front Runners/Front Walkers Walking/jogging club. P.O. Box 4583, Omaha, NE 68104, 402-804-8720, frontrunners.org Greater Omaha GLBT Network - goglbt.org “…to advance growth & equality for its members, businesses & allies by providing educational, networking & community-building opportunities. Meetings 1st Thursday every month locations at a traveling location to see the community and be seen. For more info or to be included on the e-newsletter list, please email us at info@goglbt.org. Heartland Gay Rodeo Association (HGRA) (Midwest Division of the International Gay Rodeo Association) PO Box 3354, Omaha, NE 68103, hgra.net - 402-203-4680, Serves Iowa and Nebraska Heartland Pride ”…to develop a high impact and relevant cultural festival & events annually that promotes equality & unity for the LGBTQ & Allies Communities of Western Iowa and Greater Nebraska. heartlandpride.org Imperial Court of Nebraska 402-556-9907 P.O. Box 3772, Omaha, NE 68103 Inclusive Life Pastoral Services Holistic Health-Weddings-FuneralsCoaching-Essential Oils-Holistic Health www.inclusivelife.org 402-575-7006 The Max 1417 Jackson at 15th, Omaha, NE 68102 6 bars in 1 - 402-346-4110 McLovin 1010 South 10 Street, Omaha, NE, 68108 info@mclovinstore.com, MclovingStore.com 402-915-4002, A store for men. MCC Omaha 819 South 22nd, Omaha, NE 68103, Sun 9:30AM & 11:15 AM. Wednesday “ReCharge” Worship, Wed 7pm - 402-345-2563 PFLAG Omaha Mead Hall, First United Methodist Church, 7020 Cass St. (Omaha), 2nd Thursday, 7, 6:30 Social, 402-291-6781 Queer Nebraska Youth Network https://sites.google.com/site/theqnyn The QNYN is the only youth-focused, peer-led group providing social activities, connections to resources, and confidential online discussion to lesbian, gay, bi, trans and queer youth in Nebraska River City Gender Alliance Peer support, friendship, and understanding for crossdressers, transgenderists, and transsexuals. PO Box 4083 Omaha, NE 68104, 402-291-6781, info@rcga.us - rcga.us River City Mixed Chorus Gay/lesbian chorus, PO Box 3267, Omaha, NE 68103, Call Stan Brown, 402-341-7464 Tri-ess Chapter, Kappa Phi Lambda Chapter, Omaha, NE 68107, Transgendered organization supporting crossdressers, their families, and friends. tri-ess.org, 402-960-9696, Judy marlenemarschel@yahoo.com Youth Support Group for GLBT Youth 13-21, meets twice monthly. Omaha, NE - 402-291- 6781
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Section 3: Community
DECEMBER 2013
The Mirage Featuring the Kings and Queens of the Night
Myling Belle
Hugh Jindapants
Connie Shewa
Franky D. Lover
The University of Iowa will host THE MIRAGE featuring the Kings and Queens of the Night on Saturday, December 7th from 9pm–1am in the 2nd Floor Ballroom of the Iowa Memorial Union. The event will feature an amateur competition and professional performances from drag queens, drag kings, and burlesque dancers. Headlining drag
queens include Gina Belle, Connie Shewa and Myling Belle. Headlining kings include members of the I.C. Kings: Franky D. Lover, Hugh Jindapants, and J.T. Amore. Mr. Gay Iowa USofA and Les Dames du Burlesque will also perform. Miss Kitty will emcee. The event will also feature a condom casino, free rapid HIV testing, and free
snacks. The purposes of The Mirage are to promote diversity and inclusion on campus, raise awareness for World AIDS Day, promote sexual health, and bring students, faculty, staff and the community together for an entertaining evening. The event is open and free to everyone.
This event is sponsored by Student Health & Wellness, the LGBT Resource Center, Women’s Resource and Action Center, ECGPS, CSIL Grant Funding Program and Mpowerment Iowa City. For more information, contact Trisha Welter at 319-335-8094 or trisha-welter@ uiowa.edu.
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TRABARIS prepare ourselves to receive the Christ Child anew into our hearts and our lives; and to prepare our hearts for the living of holier lives, for living in communion with one another, and for receiving Holy Communion, signifying our partnership within the Body of Christ, which at the same time makes us ready for eternal life. In all of these ways, and in many ways that I have not discussed, as a human people, we prepare ourselves for change, and for new beginnings during the month of December. In MCC, we take this concept of preparing for change very seriously. We work hard to always be ready for whatever change needs to occur that will help us to remain relevant, and to remain faithful in the exercise of the precepts that Jesus taught. I’ve often wondered why this is. I think that there are several reasons. First, I think that it is because we have always realized that the very nature of our ministry, especially in the early years, caused us to be a prophetic witness in the world, and within the larger community of churches. When MCC began in 1968, there really was no Open and Affirming Movement among mainline churches. Groups such as Dignity, Integrity, Lutheran’s Concerned and others were around by the mid 1970’s, but they weren’t really embraced by their respective denominations very much yet. So, MCC was the “Gay Church”. And as such, MCC stood as the primary example of what a church that brought together people of all lifestyles, ages, races, classes, sexualities, and genders could be. Amongst the denominations, and church councils, MCC provided a witness of how Christians from various backgrounds could come together in prayer, and in the sharing of communion, and MCC remains the only Christian Church were everyone who wishes can participate in communion, including non-members, people from other faiths, and even people of no faith tradition. And while most fought against our very existence, they quietly reached out to MCC to begin to learn how to emulate the type of ministry MCC was involved in. And today MCC continues to exercise this prophetic
ministry, as we work with the Transgender Community, with LGBTQ folks in Russia, Africa, Jamaica, Uganda, and elsewhere, who are still fighting for equality or even the right to live, and with the ongoing movement for Marriage Equality around the globe With young people as we advocate against bullying and continue advocating for access to drugs for persons living with AIDS in the developing world. Second, it is because MCC is a church that was born in the LGBTQ Community. Members of our community are by nature a people who think outside of the box. We are a creative people. We are a spiritual people overall. We are a people who are not satisfied with accepting things the way they are, just because they have always been that way. We are a people who embrace change. Our nature calls us to be about change. We all go through transitions, and transformations, within our very beings as we encounter our sexuality and our gender realities. And this makes us a people who are always looking to be co-creators with God, and not just people who quietly sit on someone’s church pew. And I think it is because we were, for a time, the Church with AIDS. (Kittredge Cherry, 1988) During the 1980’s, MCC had the highest percentage of church members living with AIDS. Because of the stigma attached to HIV/AIDS, initially, people, doctors, nurses, churches, hospitals, funeral homes and cemeteries wanted nothing to do with those impacted by HIV/AIDS. And out of necessity, MCC churches were at the center of all aspects of dealing with and fighting for change for those living with the disease. This experience taught us that being a church in any traditional sense was inadequate. The traditional church carries with it hundreds, to thousands of years of history. Sometimes this is comforting. Being raised in the Greek Orthodox Church, I can truly say
that there is no liturgy that is as beautiful (my opinion, of course). Still, while there are strengths to that kind of long-standing tradition and practice, this very strength, makes it is hard to deal with what a 21st century people need for the church to be. In churches where tradition preempts change, or where dogma and long held beliefs disallow new ways of experiencing and understanding the Divine, it is hard for the church to be relevant. Among other things, modern day Christians increasingly demand churches where everyone, including LGBTQ people are accepted. There is an expectation that bigotry has no place in the church. People want a faith experience that helps them make sense of an ever changing world, while helping them to develop an authentic Christian faith that touches the lives of real people, in meaningful ways. Unfortunately, many churches are still finding it hard to allow such changes. And so, the inclusion of LGBTQ people, dealing with divorce, or abortion, or contraception, or women in ministry, or a married priesthood, or out of wedlock births is still a challenge, if not outright forbidden in many churches. Just as many LGBTQ people have, and in many cases still are being shown the hard hand of religious intolerance and condescension, and at times outright bigotry, MCC has, and does, experience the same from many quarters of the traditional church. Now, things are changing, there are increasing numbers of churches who allow gay folk to attend, and some, allow gay folk to be fully involved in church life, and for this I truly rejoice. And, as we have just seen this week, with the trial of the Rev. Frank Schaeffer, United Methodist minister, who was just found guilty of a number of church offenses, for performing the marriage of his gay son, the acceptance within mainline Christian Churches still contains many limits for members of the LGBTQ Community, our
MCC was the “Gay Church”. And as such, MCC stood as the primary example of what a church that brought together people of all lifestyles, ages, races, classes, sexualities, and genders could be.
friends and supporters. (Snyder, 2013) So, in MCC we have come to understand that the church must always be ready to become something new, while at the same time, honoring what has been. And at the same time, the church must work to live an authentic spirituality that gives life to the teachings of faith, helping those who join forces with MCC, to increasingly deepen their faith, and exercise their faith by taking their faith out into the world, by living lives that, in the words of our Creating a Life That Matters Program are: “about relationships: intentional, authentic relationships–with the Sacred, our Self, and our Passion…. and that transforms lives and inspires people to more directed, clear, passionate involvement in their life and in the life of the planet, through the support of their local MCC.” (Church, 2013) Here at MCC of Central Iowa, we are actively focused on the process of change. We are building a new ministry. We are reaching out to, and listening to the members of the community, to discern how we can best be a pastoral presence, and a force for positive change in Des Moines and Central Iowa, and I invite everyone to join us on this exciting birthing journey. As we all move through this December, my hope is that we will all take time to re-evaluate where we are at, and what our lives are about. Reflection is a good thing. Self-reflection helps us to ultimately grow, and become stronger. Preparing ourselves for change is also good. Doing so, helps us to be nimble, and ready for the challenges life brings. Church, M. C. (2013, November 21). Creating a Life That Matters. MCCChurch.org, pp. http://mccchurch.org/resources/creating-alife-that-matters/. Kittredge Cherry, J. M. (1988, January 27). We Are the Church Alive, and the Church with AIDS. Christian Century, p. 85. Sidibe, M. (2012). UNAIDS 2013 World AIDS Day Report. Geneva: UNAIDS. Snyder, S. (2013, November 19). Methodist pastor from Iona found guilty in church trial. Lebanon Daily News, pp. http://www. ldnews.com/local/ci_24550943/methodistpastor-from-iona-found-guilty-church-trial.
DECEMBER 2013 SScontinued from page 11
EMPRESS campaign for Empress. Candidates have 4 weeks in which they are classified as “candidates” they then become “aspirants” for another 3-4 weeks. During this time, candidates travel all around Iowa campaigning for their election. As the Empress, Shelbi intends to attend as many out of town and out of state functions as she can. She is set on going to the Nebraska, Minnesota, St. Louis, and Corpus Christie coronations and would like to attend Tulsa, at least one other Texas, and New York coronations as well. She feels that her responsibility, as Empress, is “to make sure that the needs of the community are heard, discussed and acted upon.” Being a work-a-holic, before becoming Empress, she worked no less than 60 hours a week, now she has cut back and started to have more fun and do more of the meaningful things she loves. When asked what inspired her in the beginning and what inspires her now Shelbi replied, “Being a good person inspired and still inspires me to do what I do right now. A person is not rich because of the amount of money they have. I give richness the value of how many people I can help in life.” Though she has to put “a face on” more than she wants, the opportunity to help those in need, one of her passions, makes it all worth it. Her favorite part of the process has been the people she meets, the conversations she gets to have with new and old friends. When asked her least favorite part she replied, “I always tell people that someday, when I rule the world, every woman will be required to wear a minimum of a 4” heel out in public at all times. My least favorite part is how my feet feel after wearing a 5” heel or more in most cases.” In summing up her experience in becoming Imperial Court Empress, Shelbi said, “In becoming Empress XXI of all of Iowa, I have learned a couple of things: You cannot please everyone, people have very strong ideas about what you should do for your community. The joy that you get from raising money to help a family, or an individual, in need is an amazing feeling. Everyone is in it for the same result, the betterment of our community. And don’t be afraid of new ideas, they help us to create fun ways of doing the job we choose to do.”
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PASTOR’S PEN to Ayn Rand, comes into play. Every religion is a product of its culture and historical context and that reality has, and continues, to cause problems. Yet, I would argue, at the heart of all true religion is compassion and love because, as the author of 1 John says, “God is love.” Even the Apostle Paul, for all of his difficult statements on same sex attraction and women, can write, “Owe no one anything, except to love one another; for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. The commandments, ‘You shall not commit adultery; You shall not murder; You shall not steal; You shall not covet’; and any other commandment, are summed up in this word, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore, love is the fulfilling of the law.” (Romans 13:8-10) I hope that my gay Objectivist friends can appreciate the importance of compassion, not only for gay rights but for their own lives, and in so doing can temper some of the harsher edges of Ayn Rand’s philosophy. It would make their lives, and the lives of those around them, better.
Section 3: Community
ACCESSline Page 31
International Puppy Contest by Papa Woof Roth
Papa Woof Roth was honored over the IPC weekend being made one of the Co-Owners, truly bring IPC to the heart of the Midwest. Photo courtesy of Bruce Hardin.
IPC Board - Pup Flip, Sir Joe Mastrapasqua, Pup Gadget, Papa Woof Roth. Photo courtesy of Bruce Hardin.
tries. The staff and judges for Leather -nFetish Pride and International Puppy were November 8th to the 10th, 2013 introduced—after, the 4 contestants were was the International Puppy Contest and presented. This year competing for the Florida Leather -n- Fetish Pride at the title was Pup Hercules—Midwest Puppy Flamingo Resort so much fun was had 2012, Pup Amp—SEA-PAH, Pup Tripp— by all! Mid Atlantic Kennel Klub, and Pup Ego— The weekend kicked off with many Toronto Puppy 2013. Once the formalities arriving Thursday or early Friday for some were done it was time for fun with social good social time, seeing old friends and time and meet and greet. making new ones. Weather was perfect for Saturday was the “main event” starting the weekend and many spent time sitting off with the puppy photo shoot and then by the pool or playing in it. The layout of interviews. During interviews a number of the Flamingo Resort made it possible for demos were offered to keep everyone busy several vendors to set up booths around ending with Papa Woof Roth and Puppy Boo the pool with everything from flogs, whips, going Puppy 101. dungeon kits and more to even some very After the afternoon’s activities kinky Christmas ornaments. The Tampa wrapped up it was time for the Puppy Leather Club hosted an amazing dungeon Obstacle Course. A good turnout of pups as usual. showing up to compete and it definitely The weekend’s festivities kicked off kept the audience amused. The pups all had Friday night with the raising of the US and amazing times showing that no matter what Canadian flags and the National Anthems age or body type everyone could have fun. representing the contestants’ home coun- Pup Hercules was the winner with a time of just over 17 seconds! After the event it was time for a dinner break and everyone preparing for the main event. The on stage portion of the contest kicked off with introductions, the Tampa Bay Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence doing the prayer for the evening. The Bill (Trooper) Boyd “Best in Show” award was presented to Pup Ego for his true spirit of being a puppy. Camden IPC Class of 2013 - The Pups competing for the title last year Cass did an always amazing reunited again at IPC. Photo courtesy of Bruce Hardin. number to entertain the crowd and then things really got going. First off was intros and speeches with all 4 contestants giving a very strong showing and looking amazing in their gear. Next up was the puppy play portion with each contestant showing their stuff with Pup Cruz as playmate after they chose some puppy toys from a bag full on stage (yes, some chose to shred the bag) at the IPC Class of 2014 - Pup Ego, Pup Hercules, Pup Tripp and end of things, Pup Tripp took the honors of International Pup Amp. Photo courtesy of Bruce Hardin. Puppy 2014 and Pup Amp
was 1st runner up. It was a very close field and all the contestants should be proud. Slavepup Axel did a very moving step down speech as he relinquished his International Puppy title. Also announced was that this was the last International Puppy Contest at the Flamingo and that the contest was moving to Saint Louis, MO and the Bad Dog Bar & Grill and was also moving to July 17-20, 2014. Sunday started with the Mama’s Family photo and the Puppy Family photo and then everyone was off to the Victory Brunch. During brunch, the “Good Puppy” award for the International Puppy Weekend was presented to Pup Sprocket from Toronto; the “Good Puppy of the Year” was presented to Pup Jaeger. Also announced was that Pup Gadget and Pup Jaeger would be the Western and Eastern International Puppy Liaisons and work with groups and events helping them get things rolling! Slavepup Axel was named Contestant Liaison and would work with not only the IPC titleholders but also other titleholders when they have questions or need guidance. The other big announcement was that Papa Woof Roth was being made one of the Co-Owners of International Puppy with the move to Saint Louis, MO. The rest of the afternoon was spent enjoying the beautiful weather and the Tea Dance. For more information go to Intl-pup.com, Floridaleathernfetishpride. com, and Flamingofla.com.
International Puppy 2014 - Pup Tripp. Photo courtesy of Bruce Hardin.
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KRUG subscribe to the view of living as a “Small I” as compared to the egotistical “Big I.” I’m really no one extraordinary; instead, I’m just a survivor like the rest of you in this room. And no, I don’t have it all figured out—there still are things that I’m working on. Nonetheless, I will share parts of my personal story tonight because I believe in the power of stories. They are the one sure fire way of connecting with others. The lessons inherent in personal stories ripple from person to person, human to human, and in that way, all of us have a vested interest in ensuring that people tell their stories. Indeed, that’s the very first thing I ask someone new in my life, “Please, tell me your story.” Thus, it’s not all about me, but then again, it’s hard to share without saying something about your life. I’m also no expert of anything. Yes, I’ve had 17 years of therapy, and yes, that’s automatically qualified me to hold a therapist’s license in 22 different states and three provinces of Canada. Still, I’m just an ordinary person who’s simply lucky enough to be standing here before you. The title of my talk is “Living as Transgender: Compassion for One’s Self and for Others.” And thus, on this sacred day for transgender people, our Day of Remembrance, I’d like to set a tone of hope and promise. Yes, of course, we need to honor those who have suffered and who we’ve lost, but I also believe in inspiring others to lead healthy and satisfying lives. Let me begin with a quick story. In May, 2009, I transitioned from man to woman. By then, I had been a trial lawyer for twentyseven (27) years with a very successful practice near Cedar Rapids. On a Monday morning in early May, I sent more than 200 emails, letters, and notes to clients, lawyers, judges and friends. I explained that I had long fought myself over my gender identity and that the woman inside me had won the battle. From that day on, I would present only as female and only be known as “Ellen.” I gave my clients the opportunity to secure new counsel if this troubled them. The reaction from my fellow Iowans was overwhelmingly positive. I immediately received phone calls, emails, and letters from supportive colleagues and clients. In particular, a man and a woman—two attorneys from a large Cedar Rapids law firm—called to congratulate me. They asked, “What can we do to help you?” I was so touched. Barely two months later, in July 2009, I tried what had to be the first jury trial by an openly transgender lawyer in Iowa history. I asked each jury member not to view me—a transgender person—as a reason to find against my clients. In turn, the jury promised they wouldn’t hold me against my clients. After four days of trial, the jury came back in my clients’ favor, just as I had hoped. It was a magnificent victory moment and all that I could have dreamed of. It made me believe that yes, even as a woman with an incredibly deep voice, I could succeed as a trial attorney. As importantly, I now believed that my law firm would survive and the four people who relied on me for their livelihoods and jobs would remain employed. That was July, 2009. Unfortunately, by November—just four months later—many of my business clients had slowly walked away.
Section 3: Community The death knell for my firm came in early November when my biggest client called up out of the blue and ordered me to immediately cease all work on its files. It demanded that I deliver every one of its files to its home office by the end of that day. That one phone call sounded the death knell of what had been the Krug Law Firm. By three months later—March 2010—I had laid off everyone and closed the firm. I then relocated to Minneapolis to start a new life— and an incredibly happy one—as a writer and nonprofit leader. But, that’s only a part of the story. On the last Monday in November, 2009, a couple weeks after that sentinel phone call from my major client and after it became clear that my firm was lost, I received another telephone call. This one was from a Des Moines lawyer, someone who’d received my coming out letter six months prior. Again, it was another call out of the blue—I hadn’t talked to this lawyer in months. We had had several cases together, and while we were very cordial with and liked each other, we weren’t the type of friends who lunched or had drinks. Or picked up the phone to just shoot the breeze. Here’s how the call went. Des Moines lawyer: Ellen, I thought of you yesterday. How are you doing? How is it going? Me: Well, it could be better. It looks like I’ll have to close the firm. Des Moines lawyer: I’m sorry to hear that Ellen. But are you okay? At this point, with me being a lawyer who’s trained to pick up on things, I figured that something was up. I didn’t know what, but certainly I wanted to reassure. Me: Yes, I’m okay. Despite all of the crap, I’m good. I have the one person I need; I have me, Ellie Krug. I sensed relief on the other end of the phone. Des Moines lawyer: That’s good to hear Ellen. Real good to hear. We talked for a while about a case still on-going and life in general. The Des Moines lawyer then related the reason for his call: over the weekend, he’d heard about a transgender person named Christine Daniels who had committed suicide. Daniels had been a sports writer with the Los Angeles Times, who had transitioned from man to woman, and then back to man. Daniels had taken her life just a few days before the phone call. It had been the talk on the Sunday football shows. Knowing me, the Des Moines lawyer became concerned. He decided to reach out. He decided to care. It was, in the end, a phone call I would remember for the rest of my life. And, it’s been a phone call that I’ve now shared with thousands of people as I talk about my story. Truth be told, I hadn’t heard of Christine Daniels and didn’t know anything about her very public transition or her struggles. Later, of course, I investigated. I learned that like me, she had been married, and like me, she loved her wife a great deal. I further learned that the wife rejected Christine as she transitioned. The wife then filed for divorce. The guilt and loss Christine suffered with losing her wife were so overwhelming that Christine did something that most transgender people who transition can’t possibly fathom: she “de-transitioned,” and went back to living as a man. Unfortunately, that didn’t bring back Christine’s wife. And in the end, it only added to Christine’s crippling depression. On the one year anniversary of Christine’s divorce being
finalized, Christine hooked a tube to the tailpipe of her Toyota Camry parked and running in her garage and got in the car. Someone later found her and tried CPR, but it was too late. Christine Daniels was dead at age 52. I will come back to the Des Moines lawyer’s phone call at the end of this talk, but for now, please let me address the subject of suicide and how intertwined it is with transgender people. First off, please understand that I know a thing or two about suicide. My father killed himself when I was 33 years old. He was alcoholic, depressed, and as I found out after his death, probably a bisexual sex-addict. Despite many pleas by family members—including me—my father never got help. Instead, he crawled into a bathtub one afternoon in January, 1990, and put a pistol into his mouth and pulled the trigger. In doing that, my father lost so very much. There were grandchildren he’d never see; places he’d never go; and sobriety he’d never achieve. What a waste. Just as Christine Daniels’ death was a waste. And, of course, a tragedy. The rest of Ellen Krug’s speech will be printed in parts in subsequent ACCESSline Issues.
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REMARKABLES been a red herring. The proof of that lies not in demonstrating that race has increasingly become a choice without compromising the right to civil rights protection. The proof lays in the fact that religion, something that is undeniably a choice, has enjoyed civil rights protection ever since such protection was born. The bottom line is that folks are welcome to debate all they want whether or not being gay is a choice. Giving expression to being gay clearly is a choice and there remain those who choose to stay in the closet. No matter. Choice has nothing to do with entitlement to civil rights protection. The entitlement to civil rights protections has nothing to do with minority status either. Everyone is among those in virtually every protected category. Civil rights protection has everything to do—and only has to do—with characteristics that are irrelevant to one’s worth or ability and that have a history of discrimination, often government sanctioned discrimination.
[The church] needs to stop judging people based on their sexual orientation. We have to stop the hate speech. We have to stop treating them as second-class Christians. ~Rev. Frank Schaefer after being convicted of breaking church law for officiating at his Son’s same-sex wedding.
Community Billboard: Classifieds Small advertisements for the LGBT Community related to housing, for sale, wanted and personals. No profanity, no solicitation for illegal activities, no physical addresses. Black & White ad sizes available: 1/32 page and 1/16 page, priced at $25 and $40. TEXT ONLY. No photos and no graphics. Payment required prior to print, multiple cc/debit card charges possible, no refunds, no stopped payments after charge set up. For more details contact Sarah at ads@ACCESSlineAmerica.com.
Male Seeking Companionship
White, 5ft 11in tall, 180lbs, blonde male who is drug free, and employed. Seeks a man or transexual woman to spend time with. From New Mexico but in Sioux Falls, SD area frequently and can travel please call at (575)708-1171.
DECEMBER 2013
Section 3: Community
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ACCESSline Ticket Give-Away Winners On November 11, the Imperial Court of Iowa held a Bingo event at the Blazing Saddle with all proceeds going to the Des Moines Vet Center. The event was hosted by the Imperial Court of Iowa Empress XIX Shelbi Anne Baker and the numbers were called by Mike Ferry. ACCESSline donated six sets of tickets, three to Hoyt Sherman Place for Jake Shimabukuro and three for Des Moines Play House. Jennifer Allen, Art Goodale, and Neil O’Sullivan won the Jake Shimabukuro tickets. Frank Platt, Bryce Sprosty, and Brad Snyder will be attending a show at Des Moines Play House. Blazing Saddle also holds drag shows the first and third Tuesdays of the month at which the ACCESSline holds ticket giveaways, where you may be asked to do a funny dance or to answer trivia questions in order to win. Joe Raetz, Missie Larson and Kent Donaldson
will be attending a show at the Des Moines Playhouse. On November 23, Imperial Court of Iowa held another Bingo at the Blazing Saddle. This Bingo was hosted by Empress XIX Shelbi Anne Baker and Emperor XX Matthew Millard. The proceeds from the bingo were to go to the Hospitality and The Project Food Bank. This event consisted of Bingo, a raffle, and auction. The ACCESSline donated three sets of tickets at this event for the Des Moines Play House. Those winners were Missie Larson, Steph Reynolds, and Brad Snyder. Blazing Saddle holds their drag shows the first and third Tuesdays of every month. The next Bingo events will be held December 14 and January 4. The December 14 bingo proceeds will go to the Eychaner Organization and the Matthew Shepard Scholarship fund.
Ticket winners from Blazing Saddle’s Drag Show and Bingo.
Frank Platt, Bryce Sprosty, and Brad Snyder won Des Moines Play House tickets.
Jennifer Allen, Art Goodale, and Neil O’Sullivan won the Jake Shimabukuro tickets.
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PARENT ask what policies/programs are in place to create a safe learning environment. Is there gay-friendly staff and are all students aware of who they are? Has the school provided sensitivity training to the staff? Provide them with contact information for organizations like PFLAG and GLSEN who have developed such programs for schools.
Where We Are Now
Unfortunately, we have all grown up in a homophobic society in America, steeped in unenlightened and judgmental attitudes. The most important thing to do is care enough to gain accurate information. Through our son we have met so many warm, loving and genuine people—gays, their parents and families. We all share the same frustration seeing the violence, suffering and unfair treatment of our loved ones. Personally, it makes us angry that there is a need for us to advocate for one of our eight children in the hopes that he can have identical civil rights as the others. Its just not fair! If gays do not receive equal civil rights, why should they be taxed to support a school, county, state or country which treats them so unfairly? This is unforgiveable discrimination and where the term “abomination” truly belongs when speaking of gays. It is important for people to work together to make our society a safe, equal environment for all citizens. We had experienced a degree of homophobia within ourselves until homosexuality hit “our house”. That gave us an
Section 3: Community incentive to learn about it. Now we realize how much devastation and havoc can occur, and how many people can be so affected due to a lack of knowledge. We have applied this education to other aspects of our lives and feel very fortunate to have a gay son. Is it any wonder we are so proud of him? Until he came out he reminded us of a rose bud—we knew there was something more in there but it was closed so tight. Gradually that bud started to unfold and now has come to a beautiful full bloom. If you are a parent who suspects, or has just learned you have a gay child, you are not alone. Most importantly, continue loving your child, regardless of your feelings toward homosexuality. They are still the same person as before with only one difference. It may seem like a tremendous difference now, however, the more knowledge you receive, the smaller that difference becomes. You may have a rose trying to bloom too—one that needs nurturing, love and support. Join a PFLAG group (Parents, Families & Friends of Lesbians and Gays). Trust me, it’s not as frightening as you probably think and confidentiality is the only criteria. There is much understanding and comfort waiting for you. Thank you, Rex and Carolyn Jones Lesbians, bi-sexuals and transgendered SUGGESTED READING: “Straight Parents/ Gay Children” by Robert Bernstein, “Beyond Acceptance” by Caroyn Welch Griffin, Marian, J. Wirth & Arthur G. Wirth, “Family Outing” by Chastity Bono, “A Stranger at the Gate” by Dr. Mel White, “Friends & Family” by Dan Woog, and “Free Your Mind” by Ellen Bass & Kate Kaufman.
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JONES stories of her growing up. Often Rex would be busy doing something, but it wasn’t too long before he was there to visit with us as we worked. Often we’d end up going to grab a bite to eat. Sometimes if they were in town here, we’d meet for a dinner to just catch up. I got to know a few of their kids when I visited. Kathy’s Kakes, her daughter’s business, was something that Carolyn was very proud of. She’d talk about the cakes she helped deliver. She’d take me over to see Cathy’s new space. Their son Kendall from Madison was someone else I had a chance to meet a few times. She would share stories about Kendall’s work with the union in Madison; she knew I was active in union activities. I think it was Randy that worked construction and lived in their basement. I got to visit with them a few times when he was there with us. One night a friend of mine and
ALPHAs
ALPHAs have a meet and greet every third (3rd) Friday of the month, held at Icon’s Martini Bar located at 124 18th Street in Rock Island. It’s a gathering for members of the LGBT community, supporters and friends to socialize, celebrate and get to know one another over martinis. Events are posted on Facebook at alphaselitecrew@ facebook.com or for more information contact alphaselite@yahoo.com.
DECEMBER 2013 theirs—T Todd—picked up some Chinese food and had a dinner with them. Their granddaughter was there too. So it was Rex, Carolyn, the granddaughter, Randy, T Todd, and me. We laughed a lot that night. They had some wonderful photos their granddaughter had done of them. Carolyn and Rex were great story tellers! They talked about their trips, their kids, memories, etc. Carolyn’s smoke breaks were a bone of contention. She knew I kept telling her to stop smoking when she was having some health issues! I joked about her smoking in the garage when Rex had his oxygen tanks going in the house—I asked if she was trying to outdo the smokers in a casino—a cigarette in one hand and the oxygen tank next to them at the slots— she’d laugh! Rex and Carolyn Jones were two of the most amazing people that I met when I came out. I truly miss them and their laughter, love of life, and the joy they made in people’s lives—a message of real love!