The Tom Tom | February 16, 2018

THE STUDENT VOICE OF ANTIOCH COMMUNITY HIGH SCHOOL

AP CAPSTONE AND IGNITION PROMOTE PASSION AND DISCOVERY IN THE SEQUOIT COMMUNITY

THE FUTURE OF SEQUOIT ATHLETICS BEGINS NOW

THE SCIENCE BEHIND SNAPSTREAKS

RELATIONSHIP CYCLES: ABUSE, THE UNHOLY TRINITY, THE TIMELINE YOUR RELATIONSHIP: WORK IT OUT OR LET IT BURN OUT

THE RELATIONSHIPS ISSUE volume 56 . issue 8. february 16, 2018 sequoitmedia.com. @achstomtom. @sequoitsports 1133 main street. antioch, illinois. 60002

table of contents

the tom tom // the relationships issue // February 16, 2018

EDITOR’S NOTE 04 Staff Editorial 05 Sequoit to Sequoit 06 OPEN LETTER 08 News 09 Lifestyles 14 FEATURES 21 SPORTS 31 what it feels like 40

PERSPECTIVES | February 16, 2018 | The Relationships Issue

THE RELATIONSHIPS ISSUE

Jessica Nettgen JASON R. WOOD editor-in-chief // @jason_wood7

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elationships are one of my favorite things in life.

The way people interact and form bonds with each other has always been something that has intrigued me. Not only relationships in the sense of significant others, but best friends, arch rivals, family members, idols, business contacts and bromances. No matter who it is with or how it started, relationships can be incredibly powerful, and I think that’s why I value them so much. I said it in the first editor’s note that I ever wrote, people are my passion.

Anyone who knows me well knows that the two things I value more than anything else are my family and my friends—very original, I know. I treat my best friends the way I treat my real brothers. I would do anything for the ones I care about, and that is solely because of the relationships that I’ve built throughout my life. It never ceases to amaze me that the power of a strong connection with someone can have such an impact in a relationship.

If you’ve been paying attention to our magazines throughout this year, you may be confused as to why this magazine doesn’t have a central color like how the past seven have. Well, that’s because we realized that by deciding to stick to colors for a whole year, we were becoming guilty of doing the exact thing we sought out to change: seeing things in black and white. Magazine content isn’t black and white, themes aren’t black and white, people aren’t black and white. So, we decided to change things; instead of revolving around colors this semester, we’re going to focus on life topics that are seen as black and white. For this magazine, we’re tackling relationships. It’s a topic that is often seen in black and

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white, but in reality, it’s one of the most complex topics.

Relationships are diverse and constantly changing.

While I may approach and handle relationships in one way, the way my peers and my staff approach and handle them can be vastly different. My staff, both in their approaches to relationships and in life in general, is the most diverse it has ever been. I affectionately see the 80 people I work with as my extended family. Sure, some are more extended than others, but they’re my family nonetheless. It’s this dynamic that allows us to be so successful in what we do. Families fight, families grow apart, families come together, families have each other’s backs.

The stories found in the pages of this magazine (and in some special online exclusives) touch on every facet of what constitutes a relationship. In our staff editorial, we chose to acknowledge the role of technology in relationships; the idea that relationships in society nowadays have become so drastically shaped by the role of technology was something we didn’t want to ignore. As a taste of our news section, senior editor Lauren Bluthardt’s story on how the new ignition program is working to propel freshmen into their high school experience. Tom Tom staffer Skyler Wackenhuth also looked at the concept of technology in relationships and decided to analyze why we tend to obsess over snap streaks. In our feature section, print director Branden Gallimore kicks off with the idea that every relationship has two sides. They either work or they don’t work, and there’s not much of an in between. Digital director Kaylee Schreiner writes about how mental and emotional abuse are just as relevant as physical abuse between partners.

Assistant digital director Alex Rapp chose to focus on the negative effects that a relationship can have on one’s personality. In terms of sports, we wanted to focus on the relationship between incoming athletes and those who are playing their last games for ACHS. To do so, senior editor Peter Boeh, Tom Tom staffer Avery Frasch and team leader Karley Rogalski—among others—wrote about incoming Sequoits who have the potential to be the future faces of ACHS athletics. Ending the magazine, English teacher Cassandra Buchignani decided to share her story of what it feels like to be raised by a heroin addict.

Welcome back to the new semester, and as always, thank you for reading and helping us show that there is more to life than what we may see as black and white.

executive team

JASON R. WOOD Editor-in-Chief PATRICK R. JOHNSON, MJE Adviser JILLIAN M. EVERETT Managing Editor BRANDEN W. GALLIMORE Print Director KAYLEE S. SCHREINER Digital Director NICO L. CHIAPPETTA Public Relations Director CHLOE E.GRASS Creative Director DIANA ANGHEL Print Director ALIYA N. RHODES Creative Director Editorial Board DIGITAL ASSISTANTS Griffin P. Hackeloer Jacob R. Johnson Alex L. Rapp Emily M. Torres

SENIOR EDITORS Lauren N. Bluthardt Jessica L. Lamberty John P. Petty Monica E. Wilhelm

Coordinators SOCIAL MEDIA Jared D. DeBoer Emily C. Hanes Mikayla M. Holway PHOTOGRAPHY Jessica J. Nettgen Steffanie A. Richardson Kat B. Zamudio

TEAM Gianna M. Chiappetta Dan D. Filippone Joseph C. Kestian Benjamin J. Nauman Madisen M. Krapf Eleni A. Sakas Karley K. Rogalski Skyler R. Wackenhuth

staff journalists

Max L. Barton Peter A. Boeh Joyclyn L. Crawford Taylor A. Feltner Merrick W. Foote Avery J. Frasch Kayla E. Grenke Emily A. Higgins Robert S. Hulting Alexandra C. Johnson McKenna R. Kalisz Alexandria Q. Knight

Emily Lara Ella M. Maggio Julia M. Murillo Jadda C. Pope Valerie N. Rasmussen Ashly M. Ring Tyler S. Skutnik Matthew P. Soberano Kevin E. Tamayo Sadie M. Vanderwall Mollie T. Wagner Sierra M. Ward

Haley Aitken Charlotte Bongratz Gavin Calabrese Evan Day Andrew DeBoer Matthew Edmark Brianna Fisher Julia Hackeloer Kaitlyn Howe Jackson Hugener Isabelle Hunter Jake Ilkka Sofia Klem Madison McBride

Alexis Olson Maggie Quirke Alexander Riedel Alessia Rivera Grace Rowe Maya Schon Rilee Schreiner Sarah Smith Cassidy Thomas Katelyn Vaskovsky Beatriz Warnes Alison Weiser Walker Winkler

mission statement

The Tom Tom seeks to not only be the premier source of student news, sports and lifestyles at Antioch Community High School, but it also aspires to do so with integrity, respect, responsibility and pride. The Tom Tom believes wholeheartedly in giving voices to the voiceless through unique engaging methods of storytelling, while engaging with the Antioch community to see diverse and challenging perspectives. In doing so, we choose to tell some of the more challenging or untold stories even when they can be controversial in order to make our community stronger, more caring, and more tolerant. This program envisions a holistic experience of quality journalism through print publications and digital content, as well as promotes student spirit and school culture through innovative and inspiring public relations and advertising campaigns.

We are the Tom Tom. We are originals. It would be an awfully big adventure if you choose to come along with us and work as one community, One Sequoit.

JASON R. WOOD editor-in-chief

THE TOM TOM STAFF

2017-2018

STAFF EDITORIAL

LOST IN TEXLATION Communication evolves with time, but it becomes flawed because of a technology addiction.

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he internet: an electronic drug that yanks us from physical reality into the vast world of technology. It seems like we are getting so caught up in the black hole of information that technology provides us with that sometimes we find ourselves subtly substituting electronic relationships for physical ones, or even mistaking electronic relationships for physical ones. Even though the internet provides us with efficient information, it does not always provide us with emotional or satisfying connections that people receive through human interaction.

It seems like nowadays technology has created more negative effects on all types of relationships than positive ones. Oftentimes, we rely on technology so much that it decreases our own critical thinking skills.

Instead of evaluating an issue and providing critical reasoning, most of us resort to our devices to hand us the answer. Due to this dependence on technology, our relationships with other people have declined.

Insead of collaborating with humans, asking questions and discussing solutions to problems, we frequently look up a quick solution on Google; sometimes these solutions are not the best way to fix the problem and sometimes they even give us the wrong information.

Successful communicators excel in face-toface situations, but it seems like the need to be comfortable talking to other people in person is diminishing with the rising rate at which we use social media and technology. This presents many problems: making our meaning clear through technology can present challenges. We may be misinterpreted, resulting in ineffective communication and confusion.

Our new language of “lmao,” “ty,” and even the classic “lol” cannot compare to in-person interaction. “Lol” will never have the power to lift people’s spirits like hearing actual laughter will.

Like any addiction, even a technological addiction, the real cost for those of us who are truly addicted, is the number and quality of our relationships with others. Distraction is an all too familiar occurrence in today’s world and technology is often the cause.

Instead of listening and paying attention in class, we find ourselves scrolling through Twitter or sending pointless pictures of ourselves to our snapchat streaks.

Social media can also create false expectations for many people; there is so much out there that

Jillian Everett appears to be perfect, and in some ways these expectations can provide us with motivating goals, but most of the time they leave us disappointed that we could not achieve exactly what we saw on the internet. This influences our relationships with those around us because when we have preconceived expectations we don’t go into situations with an open mind which, in turn, decreases the opportunities we have to fully get to know or understand someone.

This generation has become so obsessed with their phones that it’s as if the part of our nervous system that registers the feelings of others has been paralyzed when we’re communicating electronically, as if we’re drunk and don’t realize or don’t care that our words are hurting others. Everyone is much more comfortable texting or tweeting things that they would never actually say in person. Technology can cause massive drama that has a large impact on most relationships; trust issues are at an all time high. The internet and social media is the perfect environment for rumors to thrive and spread until we don’t know what’s real and what’s not. We all know someone who has

been in a relationship with a partner who has used the internet against them, either to post embarrassing or hurtful messages, false accusations or make threats. Some have experienced sexual coercion via digital means: received unwanted sexual images or messages, been pressured to send those photos or even had their nude photos sent to other people without permission.

We strive to be like our “perfect role models” of the internet, but this desire to have the best Instagram feed and the most followers on all platforms has preoccupied our lives. It’s caused us to care more about the numbers and usernames of the digital world rather than the reality we are immersed in but fail to notice. This obsession has made many of our relationships with our phones round the clock affairs which have social, emotional and mental consequences.

Even though technology enables us to stay in touch and keep up with people who live far away, it seems as though the negative effects outweigh the positive ones when it comes to quality relationships with other people.

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PERSPECTIVES | February 16, 2018 | The Relationships Issue

A heart full of love.

MOLLIE T. WAGNER tom tom staff // @molliewagner_

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oving someone and being in love are two totally different things, both equally as destructive. I have never shied away from the idea of love; I have just never uncovered the deepest roots and darkest secrets of the four letter word that drives people absolutely crazy.

I have felt every feeling and said every word, yet I have never learned my lesson. Being in love means believing in it, even when it feels out of reach. I have always been told that I am too young to grasp the concept of love; so I began telling myself that.

When I was 13, I met a girl—I’ll call her the girl on fire because she made my heart engulf in flames when the small edges of her mouth formed into the most breathtaking smile. Stepping back, reality slapped me in the face.

First of all, she’s a girl. Second of all, I am too young. Are my feelings invalid? I was in disbelief, unable to pinpoint these feelings and too afraid to speak out loud. I believed in fairytales and happily ever after. I was a victim to long nights stuck in my imaginary bubble of thought.

The girl on fire sat underneath the nose of my parents for almost three years. I believed in her; I believed in everything she made me feel, but I couldn’t fathom my parents believing anything about my fairytale. They wouldn’t just rain on my parade, but storm. I believed that I was too young to love. Too young to understand, too young to feel all of these feelings, and I wanted nothing more but for them to go away.

When my first love vanished, I constantly questioned why this happened to me. Why did I get the brunt of this situation? Why did I fall in love with a girl? Why did I allow her to destroy the most beautiful and unmining feeling there is? Well, because I trusted in love. I lunged at it when I had the chance and I never looked back.

Love is a whirlwind. It drags you through an unforgiving sea and you’re forced to hold onto nothing but yourself, unwillingly. Some people are only given the chance to love once. Sometimes your first love is your lasting love, or a love lost. Love is real, it is out there and it is so worth fighting for. Believe in anything and it will eventually gravitate towards you when you least expect it.

I live my best life every single day with a ton of love in my heart, either friendship wise or intimately. Life is so much more fulfilling when you can walk around with an open arm whenever love is offered. Fighting it, shying away from or denying it will only make it harder for you to understand and accept this overpowering feeling. Don’t fret, when life hands you lemons; hand them back and go pick your own. Love hard, always.

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SEQUOIT TO SEQUOIT Relationships sometimes aren’t that easy, and for these Sequoits, those first ones helped frame their future experiences.

A heart full of disbelief.

MCKENNA R. KALISZ tom tom staff// @mac_kalisz

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e was the first boy to ever tell me that he loved me. The notification from my phone lit up my face while the three words that he sent me in the text message lit up my heart.

Spoiler alert: it didn’t work out, and by not working out I mean he decided that he didn’t want to love me anymore. Instead of telling me he slipped away, the ‘I love you’ texts still came in every night, but slowly I began to feel like I wasn’t the only girl he was telling that to and then he was gone.

When I was younger I always felt too mature for how young I was.

I just didn’t find interest in playing the same games or pulling pranks like everyone else; I didn’t toss my words around and try to convince the first person who heard them that they were real. So when I told someone I loved them, I truly meant it. The first people I told that I loved them were my family, and I still do love them; I have no choice but to love them. The blood that runs through their veins is the same blood that runs through mine, but everyone else has the option for me not to love them. They have the freewill to say anything and decide if they mean it or not, and they decide when they will stop believing in it or not. They can easily wake up one morning and decide that they never loved me because as far as I know you either love someone or you never did—there is no “I used to” in this situation.

Three simple words made up of eight letters holds meaning to every single person in the world, a meaning that is different for everyone. If you look up the definition of love, then the first thing you will see is love being defined as an intense feeling of deep affection.

How are you supposed to exactly know when that deep connection is love? So many people say they love someone and when you do, that you’ll just know but so many people have been wrong before.

I mean I’ll be completely honest my favorite types of movies are the corny relationship movies, where they are bestfriends and both have a huge crush on eachother but always say they don’t want to ruin the friendship but in the end they always end up together. I mean there is just something about a happy ending where they finally get their true love, but it’s unrealistic.

Well, of course it’s unrealistic, it’s a movie, but it’s more than that.

I’ve seen words hold people together and then rip them apart. I’ve seen what “love” can do to someone. Scratch that—I’ve seen what people can do to another person and use the excuse of love for the reason they did it. I’ve been there to try and put the pieces back together when what people call love, fails. Love can’t be defined; love is made up. Love is backed by words that don’t mean anything.

It is a deep connection that causes pain, that’s why I don’t believe in love- because a four letter word shouldn’t have the power to make you happy or sad, and it shouldn’t be based on something that you can’t measure. I don’t believe in love for two simple reasons, one of them being that there isn’t a science to love. I can’t take a test and have the results tell me that it’s love and the other reason being people can’t be answers they simply just make more questions.

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PERSPECTIVES | February 16, 2018 | The Relationships Issue

AN OPEN LETTER TO UNDERCLASSMEN I’ve been through it, and I’m still going through it; this is what I’ve learned so far.

JOY L. CRAWFORD tom tom staff // @joycrawfordl

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eing an underclassman is a blessing and a curse. You’re among the youngest students in school, but at the same time, you are pushed to set a good example for the incoming freshmen. Truth be

feel like you’re a part of the Sequoit legacy. If you missed the past Homecoming, there is a winter dance in February and Prom in May. There is still enough time to show off your best dance moves. A little word of

told, there are some pretty major decisions to be made in your first two years of high school: deciding which colleges to look into, trying to figure out with which friends to spend Saturday nights with and choosing your classes. Have no fear!

Your fellow Sequoits are here to help with a few things to remember as you embark on your first two years of being a Sequoit.

You’ve got time. There is no doubt that the next four years we have will go quickly, but remember to let yourself breathe. It’s a good idea to look into college, jobs and other responsibilities, but giving yourself time to be a kid and let loose is a must. Sometimes we need to take a break from competing for the best grades and catch a movie with some friends.

Get involved. One of the best feelings is the unity you feel when surrounded by fellow Sequoits at various sporting events, vigorously cheering on teams; this is a time when everyone, no matter how different they are from one another, can come together with a common goal: victory. However, sporting events aren’t the only ways to get involved in the school. We are a lucky group of students with tons of community and district wide clubs and societies to join, such as Tri-M Music Honor Society, Student Council and Interact Club. Attending school events, like dances, is another great way to

advice: attire shop before the rush.

Overall, we as students get busy with school, work and home life, but you can still be involved by partaking in events during our three spirit weeks, like dressing up and participating in raffles.

Keep your eyes on the prize.

These next four years are meant to be great and full of possibilities, but a fairly large obstacle for underclassmen is finding balance—the one thing you can’t be truly successful without. The first few weeks of a new semester are some of the most stressful weeks in a student’s life.

Missing an assignment or bombing a quiz can have a huge effect on your grade. You must stay focused.

There is an unwritten theory that your first two years of high school don’t matter, but that, my friend, simply is not the truth. There are a lot of improvements to be made in these years, along with a lot of preparation for major stepping stones such as SAT and AP exams.

Writing this piece as a sophomore was more difficult than I imagined it to be. Over the past year I’ve found that these are the strategies that work to keep balance in my life, and I can only hope that they bring the same success to you all. These two years are full of learning experiences and plenty of adventures. It becomes our duty to grab ahold of these experiences as they happen and make the most out of our time as Sequoits.

NEWS IN BRIEF CHESS TEAM HEADS TO STATE IN SECOND YEAR AS A COMPETITIVE PROGRAM Last weekend, the Sequoit chess team headed to the IHSA State Competition in Peoria, Ill. This marked the first year the chess team has qualified for state and only the second year they are a team at ACHS. Prior to the formation of the team as a competitive activity, it was an after school club.

“Honestly, I was just happy to be [at state],” senior captain Ben Lee said. “It was an amazing experience. I am very proud of the team’s performance.

A special shout out to freshman prodigy Nick Taylor. He finished 13th and ahead of teams like Glenbrook North and Stevenson.”

Lee is optimistic about the future of the “up an coming chess all stars.”

LAUREN N. BLUTHARDT

Lauren Bluthardt

WELLNESS CHALLENGE PROMOTES HEALTHY LIVING

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ntioch Community High School is now in the second week of the Sequoit Wellness Challenge, which the committee sees as a great way to get the school moving and promote healthier lifestyles. Students and staff are competing either individually or on a team.

“I really like the wellness challenge because it is right before spring break,” senior Sydney Kraus said. “It helps to get a nice body and mind for spring break and have fun while doing it.”

Over the six weeks each team or individual’s goal is to get points in every category of the challenge: intellectual, nutritional, physical, social and spiritual. Each day the participants can SUMMER IN WINTER WEEK CONCLUDES WITH FORMAL CELEBRATION This year’s winter celebration kicked off on Monday, February 12, and lasted until today, Friday, February 16. The week consists of a variety of events and activities, including a pep rally and daily dress up days for students and staff to participate in throughout the days.

This year’s pep rally consisted of a badminton tournament that culminated from the physical education classes, as well as the traditional parade of athletes

receive one point in each category in order to boost their overall score. Bonus points can be given if you tweet about your progress or attend a specific game, event or activity. At the end of the six week challenge there is a celebratory Wellness Fair.

Last year, the program brought in people to run simulations of American Ninja Warrior, free and nutritious foods, knitting and at-home workouts to help continue a healthy life. The Wellness Challenge encourages students and staff to maintain active lifestyles as well as earn tips on how to better oneself mentally.

ELLA M. MAGGIO

and competitive activities. The pep rally also saw the teams competing against one another a lip sync battle. And, new this year, band teacher Jonathan Untch deejayed the pep rally.

To cap off the week, this Friday, the varsity boys basketball team will play North Chicago at 7 p.m.; the game is also senior night. Additionally, the annual winter formal will be held on Saturday, February 17, at 7 p.m. Come out for a night at the carnival, including food, games, and dancing. Tickets cost $15 if purchased during school today and will

be $20 at the doors.

Summer in Winter Week is a fun time for many students because they have the opportunity to show off their school spirit and participate in various games and activities. As the halls are filled with fun, students can experience the mid-winter celebration.

“My favorite part about spirit week is seeing everyone look a bit happier and seeing everyone show off their school spirit and creativity,” senior Kalissa Azooz said.

EMILY C. HANES 9

NEWS | February 16, 2018 | The Relationships Issue

SIDEKICKS DAZZLE IN DEBUT BUDDY BALLERS BASKETBALL TOURNAMENT 10

Jason Wood

AP PROGRESS

Program focuses on interdisciplinary skills, research and advanced college preparation.

DIANA ANGHEL print director // @didi_anghel

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ast year, Antioch Community High School added a new AP program to the curriculum, one that other schools are slowly integrating as well. The AP Capstone program consists of two courses over the span of two years: AP Seminar and AP Research. College Board believes that this program will not only earn students a capstone diploma at graduation if they get a 3 or above on both AP tests, but it will also dramatically increase students’ prepardness and skills needed for college.

This year, the AP Seminar class is significantly smaller compared to last year’s, partly due to misconceptions. First, AP Seminar is not specif-

time better. That’s just my opinion.”

Although AP Seminar is a smaller class this year, it didn’t stop the program, or the instructors, from improving. With experience comes skill, and this could be said for both AP Capstone teachers, Michael Riggs and Kelly Taylor. This is Riggs’ second year teaching AP Seminar. According to the American Federation of Teachers, their last 15 years worth of research proved the following: teacher experience holds a positive relationship with student achievement, and more experienced teachers support greater student learning for their colleagues and their school.

“I think Ms. Taylor is doing a great job with her first year of research,” Butenschoen said.

Experiencing the same field trips, pressure, challenges, inside jokes and laughs with the same group of students results in having a very tight knit class. Students that are now in AP Research have experienced a lot of the same things, creating more opportunities and experiences that they have in common. Whether those were challenges or achievements, what is known for sure is that the AP Research class is possibly one of the most compatible and

ically an English elective; although it does teach writing skills, the students are free to learn and research a topic of choice that is interdisciplinary in nature. These topics range from science to humanitarian studies to criminology. Previous students claim AP Seminar is a lot of work, thus making students not want to take it; however, the truth is that most of class time is independent work time, just like the course that follows: AP Research. It is up to the students to create their own workload and schedule for homework most of the days, depending on how focused they are in class.

“What I heard is that people don’t want to focus on the workload and that it’s too much work for a high school student to go through,” senior Deighton Butenschoen said. “There is no such thing as too much work. You manage your

“Mr. Riggs, comparing him from the beginning of last year to the end of last year, really learned a lot as a teacher and grew a lot,” junior Tyler Crum, an AP Capstone student, said.

Likewise, Taylor has also been working to improve as an instructor and provide the best support for the students in the AP Research class. Along with training over the summer, she continues to council with other teachers in the same program to answer students’ questions in the best possible manner and learn more about AP Research, especially since the course is brand new around the country. Jumping into a new program is not easy, as no one else at ACHS is trained in the same area or capable of answering capstone questions. As more time passes, the AP Capstone program will keep improving the school, and students involved in it.

cooperative class in the school. Students have to learn to work together, oftentimes with people they wouldn’t typically pick. By the end of AP Seminar, everyone worked with everyone: an opportunity to get to know individual weaknesses and strengths.

“We’ve built relationships and we’ve become like a family,” Crum said. “It’s almost making it feel, our school, our little group of people like a community, like a big family, so I feel like it’s improving our school.”

Overall, the AP Capstone program seems like it has a bright future ahead, not only for the students involved, but also for the instructors and the rest of the school. It’s a great educational and character building opportunity for students to have.

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IGNITING NEWS | February 16, 2018 | The Relationships Issue

SEQUOIT Antioch Community High School heads into their second year of the Ignition Peer Mentoring program. The goal of the program is to enhance the success of freshman throughout the next four years.

LAUREN N BLUTHARDT senior editor // @laurennoelle_

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ith the motto “respect, responsibility and pride” running through the halls at Antioch Community High School, there seems to be greater recognition of the Sequoit Pride feeling present in the school. ACHS has recently furthered that motto with the implementation of the Ignition program.

To improve the relationships of the student body at ACHS, as well as provide a program for a smoother transition for freshmen, the Ignition program will continue to focus on growth in the school environment in hopes it maintains the following years.

Ignition is a national program that has become increasingly applied into curriculua throughout the country. The strategy of the Ignition Peer Mentoring program is to, “focus on the importance of school-based mentoring on youth risk behavior,” as mentioned on their national platform website, Ignition Mentoring. Based on a customized mentoring plan, the schools who participate in the program begin integrating the 9th grade transition programs through teacher and student-led help.

ACHS began the journey to increase student success two years ago when Ignition began running. Alongside specific expert trainers, the program helped train select sophomores, juniors and seniors to learn the ways of success.

In order to start of the year with a bang, the program included their second-annual Ignite Day (orientation) for the incoming freshman. From there, the mentors continue to meet with their mentees throughout the year while performing activities and discussions to better calm the change between middle-school and high-school.

One of this years faculty advisers, Michael Riggs, is an advocate for the programs success.

“We pair groups of freshmen up with upper class student mentors who help them out with socialization, social-emotional learning, academics, if we can, and engagement in the school,” Riggs said. “[We want to] make sure their high school experience is as successful as we can make it.”

Throughout the year, the mentors are trained with certain team-building and school related activities that can help the freshmen become more aware of the student community at ACHS. From low-ropes courses to goal setting, the program works to ensure positive change is being made.

CULTUR Lauren Bluthardt “We pair groups of freshman up with upper class student mentors who help them out with socialization and social-emotional learning,” Riggs said. The students participated in a blind obstacle course in which communication was key. The activity challenged them mentally and physically.

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According to nationwide research from Wheeler, Keller, and Dubois in 2010, schoolbased mentoring has consistently been found to improve academic performance in a range of areas.

Studies by the National Ignition Mentoring program have been shown to prove that encouraging the Ignition program will increase a 9th graders grades, emotional well-being, and behavior.

Along with the mentees benefits, there are also multiple advantages for the mentors. Junior Jena Burton became a mentor this year and has reaped the benefits.

“It’s a really good way to learn how to lead something,” Burton said. “Not a lot of people get experience until they get to their job and this is a really great way to start that off early.”

Being a leader is a key role to becoming a student mentor. The upperclassmen mentors learn how to handle difficult communication situations, as well as become more connected with the freshmen. The leaders also receive first-hand experience on what it’s like to be on the front lines of teaching. While the program does require extra time spent to train and meet with their assigned students, it seems the pros outway the cons.

“I think it gives [mentors] responsibility in a

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way that they haven’t had before,” Riggs said.

“They became more confident and they became more assertive.”

While those skills are necessary to succeed in life, there are also benefits in the relationships built with their younger classmates. With

As reported by the Ignition program website, participation in school-related activities went up 30 percent in schools nationwide.

Lauren Bluthardt Junior Jena Burton works hands-on with one of her mentees. “I also had a lot of troubles going into freshman year so I know it’s going to help freshmen a lot,” Burton said.

small class sizes graduating from schools such as Grass Lake School and Emmons Grade School, the ability for students to feel lost may seem higher now more than ever. Engaging on a weekly basis with the freshman helps forge a healthier student community with students who feel they are accepted and wanted at the school. These connections help the new students feel welcomed at sporting events and clubs, while also helping the students become connected to the school atmosphere. Freshman student Sarah Vilardi has found the experience with her mentors to be worthwhile. “[The mentors] really know their way around the school,” Vilardi said. “They are able to give us advice about classes to take and [how to] prepare for the rest of high school.”

Students interested in the program can become mentors through a selective application process. Current mentors have been nominated by staff members at ACHS due to their ability to show leadership and show potential to offer something towards the program.

“I think the more good students we have involved as mentors, then the more good students these freshmen are exposed to,” Riggs said. “The more mentors we have, the lower the ratio of freshmen to mentors, which means you get a more personalized connection.”

Similarly, Burton believes the program has more benefits to offer.

“I really would recommend it [the program],” Burton said. “It’s a new program and the more people who join it the better it will be and the more influential it will be and the more impact it will have on people.”

As the Ignition program continues its second year, there are lots of goals the program wishes to reach.

“Three years from now every student at Antioch would have been through the program their freshman year,” Riggs said. “Hopefully, the culture of the school would continue to be improved, [with] more kids involved, more kids who are more connected to each other, [and] more kids who are more successful academically.”

With student culture in mind, the Ignition program will continue to serve as a method to positively enhance the community at ACHS in the following years to come.

“THEY FEEL MORE CONNECTED TO EACH OTHER AND BUILD RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHER PEOPLE FROM THE FRESHMAN CLASS,” MUSIC TEACHER AND PROGRAM ADVISOR // MICHAEL RIGGS

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LIFESTYLES | February 16, 2018 | The Relationships Issue

LOSING THE LOCKS

Millions of people slice their locks each year in order to support various diseases and programs. After making the cut, these are the best places to donate.

JESSICA L. LAMBERTY senior editor // @jessicalamberty13

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air loss is a frightening, and sometimes a life changing situation that many young adults and children endure, but donating hair to non-profit organizations can help them feel a little better amidst the painful effects of Cancer treatments, Alopecia, Trichotillomania, burns and other illnesses that cause hair loss.

There are many reasons to donate hair, not all of which are cosmetic.

Along with helping people look different, it also helps children feel more like themselves prior to hair loss.

The only problem with donating hair to patients is that they do not always receive donations. This is partly due to limited involvement, but also because of false organizations claiming to give donations for free, but actually making profit from the wigs.

There has been recent controversy over donating to the Locks of Love Organization. Judy Haney, a private hairdresser at Underground Enterprises, does not recommend Locks of Love after hearing that they sometimes sell the hair for profit instead of donating the wigs to hair loss victims. It is estimated that about 80 percent of hair donations to Locks of Love are unusable and six to ten donations are required per wig. According to www.forbes.com, the charity should produce just under 3,000 wigs per year, but in 2011, Locks of Love confirmed that only 317 wigs were produced. This number is excruciatingly low in comparison to how many hair pieces should be produced, so what happens to the unused hair?

There has been recent controversy over whether Locks of Love sells the hair deemed “unusable” as a way to bring in extra profit. Also, there is no guarantee that donations to that organization will amount to anything that can be donated to hair loss victims, since the acceptance rate of 20 percent is so low. The hair length donation requirement is also longer than most other organizations at ten inches, which puts another damper on their already diminishing rates. They do accept gray hair, which is sold to offset manufacturing costs. The total cost of the hair pieces for recipients is determined based on their financial need.

In recent years, Pantene Beautiful Lengths has become a leading organization for hair donations. Senior Allie Regalado donated her hair three years ago to the organization.

“I did a lot of research when deciding where to donate my hair, but the most credible organization I found was Pantene Beautiful Lengths, where I met the eight inch requirement,” Regalado said.

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Since donation requirement is only eight inches, it helps them bring in more donations than their competitors who often require ten inches. Hair cannot be chemically treated, bleached or permanently dyed and must be less than five percent gray. Pantene Beautiful Lengths creates and donates wigs for free alongside their partner organization, HairUWear, for women battling cancer.

“It was extremely important to me that the organization I donated to would not make their clients pay for a wig because these women are going through enough as it is,” Regalado said.

Haney said that many of her clients also donate to the Pantene Beautiful Lengths Organization, but she recommends Children With Hair Loss (CWHL) instead because their donations are not just limited to cancer patients.

“Most everyone leaves their hair with me, and I donate it to CWHL,” Haney said.

CWHL is a 501 © 3 non-profit organization for kids 21 and younger.

The organization specifically targets families that cannot afford to buy a wig or accessories, which are given to children with medically-related hair loss for free.

I like them the best because they seem to have a better reputation,” Haney said. “They aren’t selling the hair, and it’s specifically for children.”

Donation requirements are eight inches or more. Non-chemically treated hair is preferred, but CWHL accepts any hair donation in good condition.

The Saint Baldrick’s foundation is a group that hosts head-shaving events, where volunteers shave their heads to raise money for cancer research, but do not actually accept hair donations. Hair must be donated to another organization in order to be distributed to hair loss patients.

Donating hair allows hair loss patients to save on medical costs when they receive wigs free of charge, so do the research prior to losing the locks.

TWO PEAS IN A POD

Friends are not always considered just friends; they are often marked as family.

EMILY A. HIGGINS tom tom staff // @emily_higgins81

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ost people on the Earth desires a connection with other people.

This connection is critical to humanity; whether it is between a neighbor, classmate or coworker, socializing is important. The bonds people share with others create a friendships. The word “friend” has many meanings, each definition different for each individual. Every interaction between people has a lasting impact on who a person becomes.

Freshmen Grace Acello and Bridget Nauman have been friends since their first cheer practice together at Ultimate Cheer Athletics. Just like they have grown together, so has their friendship.

“My friendships are super important to me because they are the people that I can express all my emotions to and I know I can talk to them about the problems [that] I am facing,” Acello said.

Friendships can have major impacts on well-being. Good friends can heighten happiness, and by creating memories and having a good time with the people one surrounds themselves with creates a positive effect on a lifestyle. This can also reduce stress and increase self-worth. By talking about recent challenges being faced with other friends can help relieve some of the stress the problems have created. Friendships come in different shapes and sizes, too. Some strive to grow a never-ending network of friends, while others prefer a smaller circle of close friends.

According to a study by the University of Wisconsin Madison, people with a wide network of friends have less tension, suffered from less stress, had stronger defenses against infection and lived longer. Friends encourage good habits, chase away depression, and cause satisfaction, pleasure and overall happiness.

Grace Acello Acello and Naumann met cheering at Ultimate Cheer Athletics in 2007. Since then, the girls have been cheering each other along not only through sports, but also in their daily lives. “We ended up being opposites to our routine and had to learn our parts together,” Acello said. “We started talking to each other and communicate about our struggles.”

Jadda Pope Growing up, both the girls moved from different towns to Antioch. “I’m at this high school because of Bridget,” Acello said. “We both knew that we had to stay together, regardless if we were in different friend groups or had grown different interests outside of cheer.”

“[When I first met Grace,] I was very shy,” Nauman said. “Being with new people, I didn’t think I would enjoy it. Grace and I got to talk to each other and communicate about our struggles. Since then, I could tell that we were going to be friends.”

People tend to pick friends who are similar to them. This explains why best friends seem to have the closest relationships, and the term “two peas in a pod” exists. This is because most fall into the similarity trap, it is important to try to stretch and learn from opposite perspectives and viewpoints.

“We both have similar personalities, but we definitely have different opinions on things,” Acello said. “I think it makes our bond stronger. Having different points of view from a different person helps [you] get through things and it definitely helps during hard times.”

Good friends are there through thick and thin, and can guide one to success. Being able to express ideas and share goals can easily have a big impact on someone. Different perspectives on topics opens up friendships on all levels, creating a stronger bond.

“Grace is just that best friend that I can tell everything to and I can always talk to,” Nauman said. “I’m not afraid to be myself around her. I don’t know who I would be without her being by my side. She’s the sister I never had and having her in my life as my best friend is the next best thing.”

The bond between best friends is something special. It is different than a relationship with parents. It is hard to realize how important a person will eventually become upon the first meeting, however, in some cases, it is an instant feeling. Most people don’t expect a person to become such a big part of their life until they are.

“You kind of have that feeling when you meet that someone special,” Acello said. “To this day I totally still think she’s going to be at my wedding.”

Friendship works in two directions. Not only does one benefit from its many perks, but being a good friend benefits the others around. The people met throughout the stages of life have an impact, no matter how large or small.

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LIFESTYLES | February 16, 2018 | The Relationships Issue

ALWAYS WATCHING JESSICA J NETTGEN photo coordinator // @jessienettgen

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ometimes, the struggle is real. Wanting that extra hour out, that friend to hang out with, that significant other to be yours, that C to be a totally okay grade on a test. Except, the people responsible for one’s well being, parents and guardians, keep all of them out of reach. Why? Because they can and because all they want is what’s best for their kids.

Since the dawn of time, teenagers have wanted nothing more than independence. They grow up learning.

The teenage years are critical; it is when young adults gain independence and responsibility through school, family life and jobs. But some parents and guardians have a hard time watching their babies grow up.

A lot of kids would call their parents strict; being home before curfew, getting straight As in school, staying loyal to teammates and not dating until college, but some parents take strict to a whole new level. Although every parent has different rules, most of them are similar in several ways.

“They are strict with my grades, my friends, and when I can hangout with people and with sports,” freshman Ashlyn Sundell said.

Most parents classified as “strict” have good intentions behind the rules they have. Parents are there to guide and teach the rights and wrongs in life, along with how to apply those morals to the everyday life.

Sure, they can be annoying at times, or even just overbearing, but one can’t help but love them regardless.

“I’m glad they help me, and I’m glad they’re there for me, and care about me but sometimes it just gets in the way,” Sundell said.

Although it may seem as though parents are holding their children back from opportunities, they simply just want them to gain more chances to do good.

Parents want to see their child graduate from college and succeed in life.

“They are more so pushing me to do things rather than holding me back because they’re strict,” Sundell said.

“They want me to do my best.”

Some say that strict parents create sneaky children. Imagine Merrick Foote having parents

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constantly breathing down their child’s neck —loopholes would constantly go into effect. Teenagers find ways around their parents, whether it be lying about where they go or having friends over when their parents are not home.

“I’m pretty social either way and I still find a way to hangout with people,” Junior Emmy Faber said.

Even children with strict parents can appreciate what their parents do for them. No matter what, parents are there to love and encourage them every step of the way. Moms and dads everywhere are doing their best to bring up their children in the way they believe is best. Hopefully all teenagers will be able to look back and thank their parents for all the work they did to raise good people.

“I think I’ll appreciate it later in life because I wont get into bad stuff,” Faber said. “They are just trying to watch out for me and have my best interest.”

A SCIENCE TO STREAKS A photo a day isn’t keeping the doctor away.

SKYLER R. WACKENHUTH Tom Tom Staff // @skylerrose_

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t seems everyone is using this Snapchat feature, but never talk about it: streaks. Snapchat streaks are a feature where a number will show up next to someones name based on how many consecutive days the users have been “snapping.” Snapchat released the feature back in 2016, but why are people addicted to sending streaks and why is a simple concept so hard to keep up with?

Steaks are only official after three days of sending photos, and text chat does not count towards a streak, but how do people go about trying to start a streak?

“I mostly just have them with people I talk to everyday and I don’t directly ask people for streaks,” Huggler said. “I’ll usually slide up on someone’s story if they are offering, or if I wanna talk to someone I’ll just start up a conversation and the streak just happens naturally.”

Huggler prefers having streaks with people she talks to daily, but others have streaks with people that they don’t talk to on the regular.

These choices are both socially acceptable, but they boil down to what each user prefers and can even depend on the day.

“I try to talk to all of them, but there are a lot of times when I just send one picture and that’s all I send to them for the day,” Karellas said.

Having a streak seems pretty simple, sending one photo a day increases the number shownnext to the persons name on Snapchat. If a snap hasn’t been sent in 24 hours, an hourglass emoji is shown to alert the snappers to send one before the streak ends.

Streaks can reach larger milestones as well.

After 100 days of consecutive snapchatting, a one hundred emoji is shown instead of the number. This higher number is celebrated.

“I don’t really know,” Karellas said. “It’s just pretty cool to think you have snapchatted someone for 100 days straight.”

Losing a streak can be devastating for some and can start fights if done on purpose; this raises concern about society and why people get angry over sending one photo in a 24-hour time

span. If a streak was accidently lost or Snapchat has a bug that causes a streak to end, contacting Snapchat support can help resolve the issue and get the streak back. Losing a streak with a large number can be annoying knowing the amount of snapping done to keep it going.

“I get upset, but I get over it pretty quick and we just start a new one,” Huggler said. “It’s not a big deal.”

Keeping streaks can be hard for some people who don’t go on their phone frequently or forget to Snapchat people. Some find it’s easy, after all it’s just one photo.

“I find it somewhat easy to keep streaks because as long as you send one picture to your streaks everyday you can keep them,” Karellas said.

At the end of the day, Snapchat introduced the streaks feature to promote others to look forward to talking to their friends. Some people have a harder time keeping up with streaks due to personal preference but others find it amusing how high of a streak they can get. It is pretty weird how the world got addicted to taking time out of their day to send one photo a day, what could one do with that wasted time?

Skyler Wackenhuth Junior Kameron Jones takes a selfie to maintain her snapchat streaks. “I try to snap my streaks everyday,” Jones said. “Keeping streaks is really fun.”

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LIFESTYLES | February 16, 2018 | The Relationships Issue

TOP 10 SPORTS MOVIES OF ALL TIME

#10

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KICKING AND SCREAMING

very team has that one parent that takes the game just a little bit too seriously. “Kicking and Screaming” asks the question: what would happen if that parent was actually the coach? Apparently, hilarity ensues. Will Ferrell plays a dad coaching an unsuccessful soccer team going up against his own father´s championship winning team. Endlessly quotable and laugh out loud funny, this film is sure to entertain.

MERRICK W. FOOTE tom tom staff // @mfoo42 Illustrations Merrick Foote

#9

CADDYSHACK

This iconic golfing movie focuses not so much on golf itself as it does on the culture and behind the scenes hijinks of a seemingly ordinary golf course.

Comedy legends Bill Murray and Chevy Chase fill its 98-minute runtime with laughs and an unforgettable battle with one pesky gopher, while the rest of the cast deal with the aftermath of a new boisterous country club member´s arrival.

#7 42

#8 RUDY

As the movie on this list that is thought to be most historically accurate, “42” displays young baseball star Jackie Robinson’s rise to the big leagues. Portrayed

by Chadwick Boseman, Robinson was the first African-American to ever play Major League Baseball. The true story of this trailblazer is completed with a study of the nearly insurmountable pressures faced by Robinson, as well as pulse-pounding scenes of realistic baseball.

An underdog story, this football movie tells the fictional story of Daniel “Rudy” Ruettiger, a small and untalented high schooler who dreams of playing football for Notre Dame. While too uneducated to get a scholarship and too poor to pay for school on his own, his dreams appear unattainable. However, just like any good underdog, he finds a way to achieve his goals. The positive and uplifting message to follow your dreams, as well as the emotional satisfaction gained by watching this film, make “Rudy” one to remember.

#5 MIRACLE 18

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DODGEBALL: A TRUE UNDERDOG STORY

This quirky comedy about a ragtag team of individuals from the rundown Average Joe’s Gym who take on the fictional fitness powerhouse Globo Gym is perhaps the funniest sports movie ever made. Its cast of oddball characters and focus on a sport that’s rarely documented make this film original and undeniably rewatchable. Filled with laughs, twists and turns, the story of Average Joe’s Gym is unlike any other sports movie ever made, which guarantees it a spot on this list.

Set during the peak of the Cold War, “Miracle” tells the true story of the 1980 American Olympic hockey team.

At a time when hockey was largely dominated by the Soviet Union, the U.S. somehow managed to pull off an unexpected win to get a gold medal at the Olympics. The beauty of this movie is in its portrayal of the tension between the two battling countries both on and off the ice. While the destination is known to be coming, “Miracle” still manages to make the journey to a win feel fresh and exciting.

#4 SPACE JAM

#3 In a rare acting move from Michael Jordan, he teams up with the Looney Toons to battle cartoon aliens in a game of basketball that is won because one team drinks water and the other does not. Appealing to all ages, “Space Jam” is so ridiculous that it manages to work almost seamlessly. Intense basketball, an outlandish story and a perfect balance of real world and animation make this movie a slam dunk.

MONEYBALL

“Moneyball” is the sports movie that doesn’t try too hard to tell the story of what happens on field; instead, it shows what goes on behind the scenes of a Major League Baseball team. Centering on general manager Billy Beane and his assistant general manager Peter Brand, this movie depicts the true story of Beane and Brand’s unorthodox methods for building a pennant-winning team.

With Brad Pitt in the main role and Jonah Hill, Chris Pratt and the late Philip Seymour Hoffman in various supporting roles, “Moneyball’s” acting, story and its untraditional focus propel it to being one of the best sports movies ever made.

#1 #2

REMEMBER THE TITANS

Consistently hailed as the best football movie, “Remember the Titans” manages to deliver on sports action, emotional intensity, good characters and great acting. Denzel Washington plays a high school football coach who must deal with racial tension and bad blood within his team while trying to win the state championship. Believable performances by Washington, Ryan Gosling and Ryan Hurst, as well as great writing and directorial work, push this film to excellence.

ROCKY

Perhaps the greatest underdog story ever committed to film, “Rocky” is the feel-good story of a young Philadelphian boxer who works his way up the ranks and gets a chance to fight in his first ever big-ring bout. With unforgettable fight scenes, an amazing training montage, an iconic theme song and numerous sequels that are still being made, “Rocky” is a movie that has stayed in American minds for over 40 years. Stellar performances from Sylvester Stallone and Carl Weathers, as well as its emotionally satisfying story, have cemented this boxing classic as the best sports movie of all time.

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OKAY OK K.

LIFESTYLES | February 16, 2018 | The Relationships Issue

FAMILY FUN TIME

Every family has their own unique way of operating, which is what makes them special.

GIANNA M. CHIAPPETTA team leader // @gigic29

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Gianna Chiappetta

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ome people see the glass half full, while others see it half empty. It’s the way people see things, hear things and say things that make them who they are. It’s common for a family to see the glass the same way, creating their one of a kind dynamic.

Every family has their different way to approach someone. Even though one is born with a specific name, not every family refers to them by it. For sophomore Brandon Reynolds, his family uses nicknames.

“My parents don’t really have nicknames, but my brother Conner, my sister Brittany and I do,” Reynolds said. “We call my brother Connie, my sister Burtney, and my nickname is Brandino, which came from my friend, Gabriel Tijerina.”

Per societal rules, parents are referred to as mom or dad, but for senior Mary Cook, her family is unique.

“I like to call my mom by her first name, Sheila, because I love it so much and think it’s so pretty,” Cook said.

Families can converse in a variety of ways. Some may chose to text, while others prefer to email. One may choose to use words, while another chooses to use body language.

“Sheila will usually text me at least 10 times a day,” Cook said. “If Zach doesn’t respond to any of her texts, she uses me as a messenger. If it’s something to deal with the whole family, then we have a group chat that we use.”

Sequoits are commonly found separating the differences between families by how strict they are. While some have a set curfew and Sundays dedicated to their religious practices, others have free range to do what they like, and say whatever is on their mind.

For junior Michael Volkmar, his family uses their manners.

“In my family, it’s a rule that my siblings and I aren’t allowed to use curse words,” Volkmar said. “We still make lots of jokes and have fun talking to each other.”

Growing up means making mistakes.

Every family has a different level of “punishment” as a consequence for one’s actions.

Some may be let off the hook, while others have to pay their dues. “[If I were to get grounded, my parents] would take away my phone and not let me hang out with friends,” Reynolds said.

Some families are home bodies, while others are adventurous. For fun, some families choose to spend the night on their couch, watching a movie, and, for others, fun means trying something new and exploring new areas.

“My family usually goes on vacation twice a year,” Volkmar said. “My parents, sisters, grandparents and I travel all over the world together.”

What makes a family so special is their creative catchphrases. These are usually created by a memory within the family which has stuck and become a part of their everyday vocabulary.

“My siblings and I say ‘simmer down hot sauce’ when one of us gets in a bad mood,” Cook said. “We heard it from a family friend and just kept using it.”

All families have their own special dynamic. A way of communication for one family may be different from another, but that’s what makes everyone’s family unique.

Families can differ from the way they eat dinner to how they spend their weekends together. Every family has its baggage and bumps in the road. Not everyone is close to their family or even considers their blood relatives family, but family is not determined by blood. The people who stand by one’s side and love them unconditionally are the people who represent the word love. Everyone’s family is different, and no single family is considered perfect, but that’s the beauty of what makes a family, a family.

Griffin Hackeloer

THE RELATIONSHIPS ISSUE features 021618

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goal of most people in the world, no matter what race, religion or ethnicity, is to build relationships with others. These relationships can be with siblings, friends or lovers. Although all relationships vary from person-to-person, we all seek that one relationship—the one that triumphs all of the others. The one, that no matter what is going on in your life, will be right there with you. Through thick and thin, we all search for that one, and that one is our true love. For some, love is a very simple idea, but for others, the idea of finding love can be scary. Love can come so easy to certain people, as if no effort was needed, despite the search they always seem to come up empty. There is a whole spectrum of love in relationships:

fake love, forever love, the never-had-a-chance love and the happily-ever-after love. Every love has a story, with a beginning, a middle and an end, but not many of those loves make it to the ending they all wish to have.

Instead, they find the ending with hatred and tears of sadness. In order to find the one, the true one, and to have the fairytale love we all dream of, there are many aspects of relationships and love to focus on, all of which are deeply dug into and reported from those with experience. No matter the circumstance, the outcome, the type, the experience or the person, these relationships matter; these relationships are what follow.

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Griffin Hackeloer

FAKE OR FUTURE BRANDEN W. GALLIMORE print director // @brandengal

ove may have a specific definition, but people see it many different ways. Some may believe that love is what makes the world go around.

People may think love is easy to obtain, or others may feel it is impossible to find. Many know that one couple that is deeply in love with each other, whether it be grandparents, parents or their friends. On the contrast, many also know of that couple that fell apart, or never worked out at all. Not everyone is made for love, just like not everyone is made to be the next president or pop star. Some people decide to let life fall in place without searching for the one, but some are always soul searching for a significant other. At one point or another, when someone thinks they found “the one,” how do they know for sure whether or not the affection and care will last between them?

A lot of the time in a relationship, both sides do not know if they will last forever or crumble apart over time; they always find themselves asking: “Is this love fake? Or is it the future?”

Finding the one can sometimes seem impossible.

A lot of those that get married think it’s to the one that will always be there for them, supporting and loving them, but according to Psychology Today, 40 to 50 percent of those marriages are expected to end in divorce; therefore, deciphering if a relationship is fake or not is important before it’s too late. Usually, someone can tell if a relationship is going to work out or not from the start.

“If you start a relationship off slowly and don’t jump into things right away you start to build a foundation of truth,” junior Eli Vanderwagen said. “Then your relationship will usually last longer.”

Starting a relationship out slow, using baby steps as some may say, can work for couples, but not every couple is the same. Just like how not everyone may be a fan of the New England Patriots or barbeque flavored Lays, all people have different methods of finding and maintaining love than others.

“You just gotta really look for the emotions and feelings others portray to the meaning of the relationship,” senior Nathaniel Baldwin said. “Once someone starts being short with you then you have to be prepared for things to come to an end.”

Those who want to find love need to first learn how to be independent and feel content with themselves before giving their all to their partner. Supporting a significant other is very important, but prior to this it is important to be able to support oneself because if a relationship flourishes, then they have to be able to cope and take matters into their own hands without a total breakdown. Having these traits are a good indication that someone is ready to give their all to someone else.

“Signs of a relationship that will last would be the people within the relationship don’t have to depend on the other person for everything,” junior Hannah Moll said. “They both can be independent on their own.”

Having a safety net is always a good idea, no matter the situation. If there’s no way to succeed without moving on, then no one will be willing to take

Griffin

risks. And sometimes, the greatest risks people take are on others, which may not always be the best idea. It’s true that finding a diamond in the rough does happen, but knowing that other person along with what they want in a relationship is the most important part.

“You can tell if a relationship is going to last or not by knowing the intentions of your significant other in the relationship and what they want out of it,” junior Rachel Phillips said.

At points life can be scary—the intimidation of others, the idea of not knowing something for sure or even the suspense of mystery. But, with relationships, the scariest part is not knowing whether or not a new relationship will close doors with other relationships or friendships.

“Sometimes when people get in a relationship with someone they forget about their friends that have been with them from the start,” Moll said. “They can sometimes ruin their past friendships.

But, with relationships comes sacrifices. Those sacrifices may be time with friends or family, or something else, but these sacrifices should only reach a certain extent. Never should someone surrender their happiness, peace of mind or rights. If issues occur outside of the boundaries, Baldwin likes to use the UAM method—understand, accept and move on.

“These are the three things people must do to keep a relationship going,” Baldwin said. “Jealousy, holding onto things, and losing ties will cause a relationship to come to a close rather quickly.”

Most people aspire to live life with a meaning behind it. So, why not build relationships with meaning? If there is no meaning and care behind a couple, then it will surely collapse. Having goals in mind and wanting something is a great mindset to have.

“Don’t be in a relationship just to be in one,” Phillips said. “Be in a relationship because you want to.”

Wasting time in a relationship that crashed and burned can be one of the worst feelings there is, but being able to find signs of a relationship that is prone to this is key. If one side of a relationship is all in, but the other isn’t sure what they want, then there is no fairy tale ending for it.

“If both people in a relationship are willing to give 110 percent then it’s definitely worth their time,” Moll said. “It will build and develop into a great and healthy relationship that’s worth being in.”

The world may be seen as revolving around love, but if there is no care between two partners, the love will never exist, therefore ending early. Having a strong, steady relationship is only possible with equal effort, care, love and happiness.

“Relationships are all about care, love and giving,” Baldwin said. “Both partners must respect the others needs so if one is more pushy and wants the relationship to last longer than it should it could cause problems.”

In high school, relationships can obviously go one way or the other, depending on the couple. There’s always two sides to relationships—the side that has care and hopes, and the side that feels like more of a job than anything. Most relationships in high school do not work out, usually because of both parts of the partnership moving on to different places like school and work, but there is the occasional couple that makes it last. High schoolers lives can be hectic, but

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one thing is for sure: love is necessary, but maybe not between each other.

“If your relationship didn’t work out it happened that way for a reason so don’t give up on finding the right person for you and never change who you are for someone else,” Phillips said. “You have to love yourself before you love anyone else.”

Relationships for a teenager can be a positive to learn and gain new experience in life. A lot of those in relationship love the security of knowing they’ll always have that one person they can rely on to always be there for them. But, in order to make JUNIOR // anything work between two people, it is ELI VANDERWAGEN important that those two get everything with themselves straight before coming close with another. But, with everything in life, patience is a virtue.

“Everyone has someone out there for them,” Baldwin said. “If you don’t find that person in high school, it’s not the end of the world.”

Time is precious, and no one has an unlimited amount. That’s why it is important to live life without looking back or without having any regrets. Not every relationship is going to end up with one of the partners down on one knee saying the four word phrase that everyone hopes to someday hear. There are those relationships that are fake, and burn out slowly crumbling to the group as if there was no hope for them in the first place. On the other hand, there are plenty of couples that spend their lives til the end with each other—loving, caring and enjoying every moment together. It is important to know for sure about someone before committing so much to them. That’s why, before making a big decision, ask yourself: “Is this love fake? Or is it future?”

IF YOU START A RELATIONSHIP OFF SLOWLY AND DON’T JUMP INTO THINGS RIGHT AWAY YOU START TO BUILD A FOUNDATION OF TRUTH

FEATURES | February 16, 2018 | The Relationships Issue

‘‘

“UNFORTUNATELY, THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN PSYCHOLOGICAL AND PHYSICAL [ABUSE ARE] GREAT, BUT IT ALL COMES BACK TOGETHER TO BECOME A NEGATIVE LIFE EXPERIENCE,” SCHOOL PSYCHOLOGIST // JIM WHITE

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JR Johnson

I

t never ends.

Screaming. Fighting. Pain. And then it’s over. But even when it’s over, it’s never truly over. Words repeat themselves over and over again inside as though they’re being spoken out loud and the words leave marks; scars that are invisible to the naked eye, but are very real everytime eyes are closed. These victims feel the sharp pain of a fist the same as the cutting edge of a single word.

And it never ends.

This is the reality for millions of adolescents every day. In present day society, sexual abuse and harassment are recognized on every news station and talked about in entire communities. Though this is beneficial, people ignore the mental, emotional, verbal and physical abuse that one in three adolescents in the United States experience in their high school careers. Psychological and emotional abuse are often sidelined due to the fact that they are not nearly as visible as physical abuse; they are the side that no one really sees and the side that everyone is afraid to acknowledge.

And it never really ends.

Abuse doesn’t just start happening out of the blue; oftentimes, it stems from a relationship that is already toxic or unhealthy. In any unhealthy

WORDS BRUISE JUST AS MUCH AS FISTS KAYLEE S. SCHREINER digital director // @kayschr06

relationship, the idea of mutual respect does not exist. One person is constantly trying to get more out of the relationship than the other. However, these type of relationships do not necessarily form with the intent of one person wanting to be destructive towards the other.

“I feel like a lot of times relationships become toxic by accident,” senior Briana Pinto said. “I feel like most people aren’t personally like ‘I’m going to get into a relationship to hurt people.’”

But what most people do not realize is that abuse is most likely a learned behavior either on the part of the offender, the part of the victim or even both. Though the exact cause of an abusive relationship may not be able to be pinpointed, there are patterns that are common throughout many of them.

“Usually [the cause of abuse is] learned behavior,” Antioch school psychologist Jim White said. “It’s what either the victim or offender has been around in their past.”

And the cycle never ends.

Though the reasons a person may abuse their partner are not always clear, the situation usually arises from the need to maintain or find a sense of control. The offender may not seem like it, but they are emotional, insecure and short-tempered. However, just because a person is aggressive 25

FEATURES | February 16, 2018 | The Relationships Issue does not automatically make them abusive; aggression is a drive while violence is a behavior.

“Violence is a behavior that people choose sometimes when they don’t know how to be appropriately aggressive, assertive or when they start to feel anger,” Ph.D. Susan Hanks said in an interview with No Safe Place.

Unfortunately, only one in three young people will speak up about being involved in an abusive relationship, and it is not unheard of for a victim to stay in the relationship, despite the harm that may come to them because of it. These relationships, no matter how destructive they may be, are very real to both parties. A victim oftentimes stays in the relationship because that relationship is what feels normal to them; they don’t know anything other or better than that relationship.

“They stay in [the relationship] because they don’t know different and they think that that [the relationship] is what it’s just supposed to be,” White said.

A victim may stay silent about an abusive relationship for many different reasons. Insecurity is already a prominent trait and common occurrence in a victim’s life. Bringing that low self-worth into the light just increases that negative feeling even more, leaving a victim feeling worse about themselves than they would have if they hadn’t spoken up. In addition to not wanting to expose themselves or their partner, many teens are often unaware of the laws surrounding domestic abuse.

And for a victim, it will never end.

Abuse stays with a victim for the rest of their lives whether anyone notices or not. Besides the fact that, according to LoveIsRespect.org, victims of abuse are at higher risk for drug abuse, eating disorders, risky sexual behavior and further domestic violence, the psychological effects are often bypassed due to their more noticeable counterparts.

Psychological wounds may be the hardest ones to heal; an event, memory or person can live forever inside of one’s mind. Once a person has a bad experience in a relationship, oftentimes it’s harder to rebound from that. A person that has been in an abusive relationship may find themselves struggling to trust another person or letting themselves be happy in a new relationship, even if it is a healthy one. These scars hurt just the same as the visible one’s that may appear on a person’s skin.

“Unfortunately, the differences between psychological and physical [abuse are] great, but it all comes back together to become a negative life experience,” White said.

But people can help end it.

In order to help prevent abuse in relationships and help those who may be in need of it, the psychological and mental side of abuse must be recognized. Though talk of sexual and physical abuse is beneficial because it puts the topic out there, it often isolates and overshadows those who suffer equally from words and nonviolent actions.

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JR Johnson “I feel like most people when they think of the word abuse think of people punching each other or physical stuff,” Pinto said. “I feel like people don’t think about how their words can necessarily affect people as much as their fist.”

No matter the form of abuse, it will stay with a person forever.

Words bruise the same as a fist whether those wounds are visible or not.

All abuse may be different, but one thing is for sure: giving help to those who need it is a priority.

“If this [abuse] is going on, there’s nothing to work out at all,” White said. “The person getting exposed to it [the abuse] needs to get away from it, there’s nothing to work out there.”

LONGING FOR CONNECTION JOHN P. PETTY senior editor // @johnppetty

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t is oftentimes said that “it’s not what you know, it’s who you know,” and these connections, either big or small, often loom large when it is all said and done. Relationships refer to an individual and their partner, and are seen as significantly important in our present society. Because of this, people of all ages, especially teens, will put in extra time and effort to sustain them. Yet, to some, no matter how many negatives arise in a relationship, the most important objective is to keep it going because it’s worth it, right? The answer is tricky, but everyone has their own purposes and ideas when it comes to a relationship, as well as their own opinions.

The making of a strong relationship may seem consistent, but times are

constantly changing and so are feelings. Sophomore Elkanah Gahima explains that the point of a relationship is to be comfortable and share time with another person.

“A relationship means someone to be yourself with and being with someone you can truly appreciate and tell everything to,” Gahima said. “Relationships these days are missing the intimacy that you can’t find anymore...most relationships now are just about going out having fun and not truly bonding.”

It may be clear that people want to share a connection and enjoy time with one another, but sometimes the relationship doesn’t work out as planned. Freshman Alexia Baas agrees that there are flaws with the relationships that most people are looking to have.

“Some relationships get complicated and people don’t know how to end things properly when it’s time,” Baas said. “Some people in relationships want more then what the other person wants to give.”

Despite common issues, relationships are different and happiness can be achieved both individually or with someone else. Those in relationships know that there are oftentimes struggles, but getting through the tough times to enjoy good times can certainly be worth it. Being with a significant other is not the only way to be happy, but many people find that enjoy time with another person seems like an opportunity worth taking.

TIME AND EFFORT JOHN P. PETTY senior editor // @johnppetty

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elationships have their many benefits and problems that coexist with one another. Yet, regardless of the success of one’s relationship, it is assumed that extra time will be set aside for another person. Time is a non-renewable resource; it is evident that putting time into making a connection with another person can have numerous advantages, including a bond that is tough to break. However, at the same time, spending an extended amount of time with someone can be difficult, exhausting or even negative for both parties. It’s basically a common understanding that being in a relationship requires some sort of time commitment, but there is not necessarily a direct correlation between more time spent together and a more healthy or successful relationship.

“I think your boyfriend or girlfriend should be your best friend so you

every extra moment with one another. Senior Megan Trusky agrees that relationships are somewhat of a time commitment, but adds that in some circumstances that too much of a good thing is not really good after all.

“Some negatives are that you might spend too much time with your significant other rather than spending time with your other friends and your family,” Trusky said. “It may also take time away from homework, activities, or a job.”

Trusky also mentioned that she thinks there are couples that spend too much time with each other and, therefore, forfeit opportunities that activities and high school have to offer.

“There are people that spend too much time with their signifi-

should spend a lot of time with that person,” junior Amber Phillips said.

After all, some couples may be perfectly okay with seeing each other every once in a while, while others may find that it is essential to spend

cant others rather than doing other activities and experiencing all that high school has to offer,” Trusky said.

TO HAVE AND TO… LET GO EMILY C. HANES social media coordinator // @emily_hanes15

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usic is a very common and simple way for a person to get their emotions across. For decades, artists have been able to emit memorable tunes that stick with people. With meaningful lyrics and a marvelous melody, it’s easy for people to relate to certain songs.

Songs have been written about every topic imaginable, but the best ones - from swooning 40’s ballads to contemporary hits - have been written about the ups and downs of being in love. When it comes to relationships, this is even more relevant. Relationships are known to have their ups and

downs, and music is a frequent method people often use to enjoy the good or cope with the bad.

Whether it be smooth sailing or rocky roads, there is a song out there for every emotion someone might feel while in a relationship. The Tom Tom has created a playlist for these very moments. With a variety of songs including classic hits by Elvis Presley to contemporary tunes by Rihanna, this playlist has a song for everyone. Follow our spotify to listen this playlist and many more! @achstomtom 27

FEATURES | February 16, 2018 | The Relationships Issue

THE UNHOLY TRINITY: OWNERSHIP, PRESSURE, RELIANCE

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ALEX L. RAPP assistant digital director // @a_rose106

he father, the son and the holy spirit. Three iconic images of Christianity. The Holy Trinity. Three symbols meant to guide both values and beliefs of those that choose to follow them. The embodiment of “do unto others as you would have done to yourself.” The golden rule.

Yet, for every aspect of light, there is dark. For to have one means to have the other. One could then assume if there is a holy trinity, then there must be an unholy one. And in life, particularly in high school relationships, this trinity is defined by ownership, pressure and reliance.

Parents raise their children to build their relationships on trust: trusting one’s partner, working together and being part of a team. In that relationship, both parties must rely on each other, be a part of each other’s lives and push the other to be better than they already are—all the while accepting their flaws.

Relationships are corrupted when the relying on on each other becomes an unhealthy addiction one can no longer live without.

Relationships are corrupted when being a part of one another’s lives becomes an erasure of identity, when you are no longer who you were meant to be but a possession of the other.

Relationships are corrupted when the push to be better becomes a tidal wave, crashing over you, filling your lungs and crushing you under immense pressure.

According to a comprehensive study by the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, one in ten teens carry out an act of sexual violence, through sexual coercion or by physical force, against someone else. Males ages 14 to 17 were the primary aggressors; however, at age 18, females show a spike in sexually coercive behavior. According to a study by the National Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Children, girls who took part in a survey about abusive relationships as young as 15 admitted to sexual coercion, abuse and, in some cases, rape.

This requirement to perform sexual acts the result of immense society pressure placed upon teenagers and young children at that young age.

No matter what form it may take, at its best, sexual coercion is manipulative and cruel, at its worst, sexual coercion is abusive.

For boys, to reach unattainable levels of sexual prowess and for girls to remain, simultaneously, both innocent of any sexual act and desirable for any sexual act.

Extreme pressure in relationships can also cause the crumbling of the relationship from the inside.

Couples who are too young or too naive can create this pressure on each other by not knowing how to function in a real relationship.

Teenagers who experience this pressure from the inside of the relationship are often too young to know how to work it out and often end up with a failed relationship.

“Basically, we were just both naive in a sense where it was our first relationship and we both didn’t know what we were doing,” junior Valerie Lapke said.

This crippling pressure, which, more often than not, kills relationships before they begin gives headway to the darker side of society in which people are pressured into actions no one should undertake unwillingly.

Another aspect of this unholy trinity that can take over lives is ownership. This forced takeover of your partner’s life is rooted in identity erasure. Although relationships require the constant push and pull of compromise to properly function, relationships in which a part of yourself must be lost in order to maintain a hold on the other person are not worth it—for anyone.

This identity erasure creates a dependence upon the manipulator. Once becoming a part of them, once sharing their opinions, their hopes and fears, how will the victim function, left alone with only parts of the other person? Once left alone, it’s over. So, the victim will do anything within their power to maintain good relations with the abuser. “[It’s] being manipulated to the point where you can’t function as your own human [that is hard],” junior Shyanne Arias said.

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Griffin Hackeloer

Griffin Hackeloer Guilt is a major aspect of the identity erasure. Manipulation of significant others almost always begins in guilt. If someone is made to feel guilty enough, then it’s highly likely they’ll follow along with almost anything the other party has said.

Manipulators make it appear that they do a better job of “loving you” so that the victim feels like they must set aside their needs in order to love the aggressor just as much. Manipulation and guilt are not love. They’re merely cheap excuses for the real thing, which takes away who a person is and who they could become.

A major part of the unholy trinity, ownership is truly the removal of the personality of an entire human. Everything they were, everything they are, and everything that they could be is destroyed in favor of the other person.

The final aspect of the unholy trinity is reliance. While reliance in a relationship can be a positive in which both members feel they can trust each other and depend on one another for their needs, reliance turns sour when the members of the relationship only want to interact with each other.

Family relationships and friend relationships are some of the most relationships in a person’s life. According to Personal Relations, an academic journal, friendships in old age may be the best predictor of well being.

In another study by author William Chopkin that featured more than 270,000 people in over 100 countries, it was uncovered that both family and friendship relationships correlated with better health and happiness overall.

The reliance that fits the unholy trinity takes these relationships away from the people in them. It takes away chances of health and happiness that these people may have based on these relationships. It forces them to rely on one person and one person only.

Even in one-sided reliant relationships, both parties suffer. The dependent person suffers because they can not exist on their own or with other people because they are too focused on their partner; however, the person being depended on also suffers because of the immense pressure placed on them, thereby leading them back to an entirely different aspect of the trinity.

All three of the unholy trinity force unhealthy and unholy aspects of relationships that cause lasting problems for the people involved in them.

You are anything but the Blessed Trinity.

Your crushing pressure, beauty and crippling reliance surround me.

I blame you for who I am.

I blame you for what I do.

I blame you for all you have done to me.

With all my strength, I reject you and everything you represent.

Amen.

TO HAVE AND TO… LET GO LAUREN N. BLUTHARDT senior editor // @laurennoelle_

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he one fantasy of life that generations continue to ponder is the feeling of being loved. One searches in idle mind, infatuated with a soul that combates with the same tenderness and adoration as the soul one currently has. You beg, you yell, you cry until you can’t fight the depth of feeling trapped by the one person who was right for you.

Most of the time people head into relationships for the wrong reasons.

The once small things that a person disliked turn into large burdens on their life. Where there is always the option to say “I do”, there is always the words “I can’t”.

According to the CDC, the separation rates in the past decade have seen an almost rollercoaster of range with the most recent data showing a slight increase in the crave for solidarity.

Individualism tends to be another factor in the race for divorce, according to the Huffington Post. If someone does not understand themselves before delving into a relationship, there are often issues with what is right and what is wrong. The biggest issues can be what food is commonly liked or what type of lifestyle they want to live.

As the years go on, men and women are becoming increasingly independent. There are no walls put up between unhealthy relationships - it is rather an open playing field for freedom in all facets of life.

The sanctimony of marriage has also decreased since in the early 2000s, placing a hint of doubt on the minds of how beliefs have changed throughout the years, according to the CDC. When did the expectations become too high for many Americans?

Did it happen because of the one-and-done Tinder culture or an I’vehad-my-fun type of world now?

Change is a difficult task to bargain with, and for most people that task ends in an unhealthy relationship. With more goal setting prominent in the world, it seems there has been greater consideration of self-awareness of what a person wants.

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FEATURES | February 16, 2018 | The Relationships Issue

THE STORY: BEGINNING, MIDDLE, END EMILY M. TORRES assistant digital director // @emily_marilynnt

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nce upon a time, the apples were sweet and the glass slipper always fit. As time went on, happily ever after still seemed in reach, but it also seemed as though it was a stretch. By the end, the apples turned sour and the glass slipper started to shatter; happily ever after was no longer in reach.

Love can be a funny game. When one starts a relationship, it can be uncomfortable and awkward getting used to your significant other.

THE BEGINNING The beginning can be awkward but fun at the same time; it’s the honeymoon stage.

“Like all relationships, it’s awkward at first when you are trying to get to know someone you’ve never met before, but after I started to talk to [them] for a while, I started to realize we had a lot in common,” freshman Chloe Martinez said.

Getting to know someone can be fun and exciting. It can make a relationship interesting finding out more about that special someone.

“It’s really special to me being able to open up to someone and being able to share things with them that you don’t usually share with other people,” senior Derek Olsen said.

Sharing experiences with someone special can be an incred- ible feeling. There is someone there to listen and understand. Being a good listener and being able to understand them can be the best part about one’s relationship.

“The best parts of the beginning of a relationship are the laughs and the smiles when you guys are with

each other,” Martinez said. “Having a relationship with a person that you are happy to be around is the best.”

THE MIDDLE When the honeymoon stage starts to fade, the relationship can turn into something familiar and comfortable.

“Once we hit the middle of our relationship, we became really comfortable and since we knew each other completely, we also had a stronger friendship,” junior Karina Steitz said.

Even though familiarity may hit, it may seem as if there is a new best friend in one’s life. They may experience having a best friend along with a significant other.

“The middle of a relationship feels like having a best friend by your side day and night,” junior Braden Buehlman said.

Throughout the middle of one’s relationship, they might also go through rough patches. Even though the rough patches may be difficult, most still seem to find the fairy tale worth fighting for.

“We fought a little but it was over stupid stuff like little arguments,” Steitz said. “The middle was really fun for me. I loved his family and we would all go to see his games.”

THE END As the honeymoon phase completely disappears, a relationship might not be what it used to be; the pair in the relationship may start to lose sight of what they are really there for: each other.

“He was my first love so it was really hard to let go because we did everything together,” junior Abby Pyburn. “I was very upset but I had to do what was best for me. I was very emotionally unstable for a while because he took a toll on me.

I just know that it was the best for me and I had to do it.”

Having someone in one’s life for so long and then experiencing all the love wash away can be painful. An end to a relationship is difficult and many people have different ways that they face it. Some may be sad while others are understanding and know that it’s for the best.

“It was tough to get over,” junior Kevin Tebbe said. “We both want to still be good friends so we set up a plan to give each other a week to ourselves then hang out one more time and this really made it easier to overcome.”

When the sour apple becomes poisonous and the glass slipper becomes painfully small, nothing is sweet nor fits anymore, then it’s the end of a relationship. Reality sets in and the fairytale is finally over; the slipper finally breaks. The relationship is complete.

Kayla Grenke

ONLINE EXCLUSIVES:

THE FEATURES IN THIS SECTION ARE NOT SOLELY LIMITED TO THE PAGES OF THIS MAGAZINE. LOOK ONLINE FOR FURTHER COVERAGE OF RELATIONSHIPS IN AND OUTSIDE OF OUR SCHOOL WRITTEN BY DIANA ANGHEL, JESSICA LAMBERTY, ALIYA RHODES AND MONICA WILHELM. MORE PARENT ADVICE, WRITTEN BY CYNTHIA BOEH, HELEN CHIAPPETTA, DANAH DEBOER, JENNIFER EVERETT AND KELLY NAUMAN CAN ALSO BE FOUND ONLINE.

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Perspective RELATIONSHIPS TAKE MORE THAN A QUICK TEXT STACEY TORRES tom tom mom

Relationships take work.

That might not sound glamorous or fun, but it is true. Any kind of relationship you are involved in, whether it be a romantic one, a friendship, family, school, professional, they ALL take work. There are no shortcuts. When you are first introduced to someone, you are getting to know them. It’s fun and interesting to learn about them. However, once you know them, that is when the hard work begins. How do you stay interested? How to keep them interested? I have come to learn that communication is very important. We all know that, but to really, truly communicate you need to do more than just listen and talk. Pay attention. Remember things about that person. Don’t just text or use social media to convey feelings or important things. I once read somewhere that an indication of a great relationship is little to no evidence of it on social media. I know you all like to post your favorite pictures and get Instagram likes, that’s great. But do not use that as the only way you share your feelings.

Show people that you care about them. Do things, don’t just tell them you care. Show them. Actions really do speak volumes!

IN SEASON PETER A. BOEH

CHEER WALKS THE PODIUM AT IHSA STATE The cheer team this year has been pretty consistent in their routine. For most of the season they have been placing fourth out of around 20 teams.

The girls took second at their sectional to qualify for state for their fourth time in a row. The team then placed third at state. They are proud of what they accomplished this year and are excited for next year as they head into the offseason.

“Placing 3rd was the most incredible feeling, being on the podium was our ultimate goal that we set over the summer,” junior Graci Leineberg said.

“I’m super excited for the next season even though we’re losing some amazing teammates. I hope to reach the same goal next year.”

Griffin Hackeloer The varsity cheerleaders ended the first day of the state competition in third behind Crystal Lake Central and Lemont High Schools. Despite the nerves, the girls worked diligently in day two of the competition to take third in the medium varsity division.

Matthew Soberano Sophomore Luke Menzies hooks a double leg in the regional competition, ultimately going for a takedown. The wrestling team achieved a season goal this day by winning an IHSA Regional title.

WRESTLING The boys have had a great season this year despite losing some great senior wrestlers. Their record this year is 19-7 with a regional title and a successful go at sectionals. Four wrestlers moved on to state this weekend: Niall Schoenfelder, Jackie Sistrunck, Daniel McPherson and Alex Barbarise.

“I hope we are able to get somebody down to state and possibly get more than one,” senior D’Andre Burns said. “I just want the team to finish our season strong to end my senior year.”

GIRLS BASKETBALL The girls basketball team started the season started off slow, but picked it up when they came back from losing eight straight games earlier in their season. The girls are finished the season with a record of 10-17, with a loss Tuesday to crosstown rival Lakes Community High School 50-38 in the opening round of regional competition.

GYMNASTICS The new gymnastics team had a very good run for their first year being a sport at the high school. The team placed fifth at regionals, unfortunately ending their season short. The team is looking forward to starting up the season again next winter and hope that they can achieve more as a team.

“For our first year being a team I think the season went great,” senior Katelyn Steuer said. “From the first day of practice to the last meet, the amount of growth and improvement the team had was amazing.”

BOWLING The girls varsity bowling team started their season strong and continued that spark throughout their season.

The team’s chemistry following the girls finding their own personal touch to knock down the pins as effectively as they can. The team won the regional championship and took fourth at sectionals; they compete in the state tournament in Rockford today.

“The season has been pretty good,” junior Kayla Tikovitsch said. “I would definitely like to try to make it to state, so this week we have been practicing extra hard, we have to do extremely well to advance.”

BOYS BASKETBALL The boys basketball team had a great start but ran into a rough patch during January, losing seven games in a row. The team was having trouble finding the inside of the rim but continued their lockdown defense, which has kept them in games this season. Although, the team seems to be starting to pick up the offense’s slack and putting the ball in the hole. The team is getting better every week and are working towards that regional title. The boys have a record of 10-13 and hope that Febuary can be their month to start winning again.

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SPORTS | February 16, 2018 | The Relationships Issue

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LITTLE WONDERS DANCE TO FOURTH IN STATE The dance team had a very successful season. They won both the NLCC and the Sectional title. The dance team has never won a sectional title before so this was a very exciting moment for the team and the program.

The girls went down to state and they received fourth place. The girls were very happy with the season they had and they can not wait to start again next year.

“I felt that we had an amazing season, it was way more successful than anyone of us ever thought it could be,” junior Claire Reband said. “Next season I’m excited for us to compete again because we all have gotten so close especially towards the end and I know that will help us be even more successful than we were this year.”

Griffin Hackeloer

PETER A. BOEH 33

SPORTS | February 16, 2018 | The Relationships Issue

T R E N D I N G

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KEVIN E. TAMAYO tom tom staff // @kevintamayo162

ennis skirts are the new exciting fashion in the sport. These are purely plain garments that have made their way into the sports fashion world. These skirts aren’t desired just for the looks, but for the wide variety of components that they offer.

One of these components is the comfort that the skirts provide. These skirts make it easier for female tennis players to not be uncomfortable while playing. The material itself has also changed throughout time. Back in the day, tennis players used to wear dresses, but it would weigh them down. Now, they are starting to wear the lighter material that is incorporated into a tennis skirt, giving them a comfortable feeling. Another reason as to why these are being used frequently is the mobility that the skirt provides. The skirt isn’t like a romper where you have to put your

legs through it. It’s a loose skirt that offers tennis players the ability to move around easily. This product helps the players perform to their highest level throughout competition.

The skirt offers athletes to be able to move in lateral and unilateral directions faster than they would in a dress. They can run, jump and move side to side faster. The skirts are becoming more popular because of the new technology that comes along with it. These new technologies have a feel that can be associated to a dri-fit or a climacool product.

This silky product helps adapt to the weather conditions around the athlete. Other fabrics, like cotton, absorbs water and make the piece of cloth feel more heavy and dense.

Tennis skirts bring the practicality that a tennis player would need during a match.

Mikayla Holway

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F A S H I O N

E

ach time one watches a basketball game, they can see that one of the more popular options that players select are the compression shorts. Compression shorts are similar to regular compression leggings except they end at the knee area.

These tights have an elastic waistband that holds the shorts in place while remaining durable. Usually, leggings from popular companies like Under Armour or Nike have a four way stretch

they supposedly keep your muscles warm and help with a players blood flow. Keeping one’s muscles warm can decrease the chances of somebody getting a gruesome muscle strain.

These shorts are meant to enhance an athletes performance in an athletic event. They also decrease the chances of not getting an injury by relieving pain from muscle stiffness and soreness.

Sweat can be irritating and cause an athlete to start chafing and cause rash-

that allows an athlete to move in unique ways. Sometimes, these tights have padding that benefit the aggressive and forceful players by protecting their glutes and thighs. The thought behind the compression cloth is that it helps protect basketball players from getting floor burn when they are roughing it out to get rebounds or driving into the lane.

It is assumed by manufacturers that

es. These shorts are mostly made of polyester which is a high end material that is essential to dry sweat quickly and prevent any of those problems.

There are cloth seams that are applied into the shorts so that people that use them can feel comfortable moving around in them. The compression shorts are crucial for any player that wants to improve their game.

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ore athletes, like football players and soccer players, are starting to use Nike Flyknit cleats due to the attraction of the shoes and the advantages they provide. The majority of these cleats also come with a stylish flywire which is a thread of nylon that maximizes support, which helps loosen and tighten certain areas of the foot.

The shoes have a certain silicon that is used in every Flyknit shoe to add shape to the cleat. The Flyknit itself is considered a sock due to its mobility and comfortableness. The mobility of these shoes comes from the stretchy cloth throughout the cleat. Due to the stretchy material, this makes the athlete’s feet have natural movement unlike other shoe

cushioning placed into these cleats that are called propulsion plates.

These plates, allow the athlete to add extra bounce because of its flexibility.

These shoes are not just for the style or with the benefits that come along with it; they also are beneficial to the environment by helping reduce waste. Newer shoes like the soccer Nike Hypervenom Phantom Threes, deliver control technology that are weather resistant. This shoe’s shape helps soccer players increase their shot velocity when they kick the ball.

The tongueless design on this cleat helps with reducing distractions. This shoe also has a vivid asymmetrical lacing system that helps with the ball control area and the strike zone. The Nike Flyknit line is rising on athlete’s

types. Football cleats like the Nike Alpha Menace are made out of a material called mesh. There is special

radars as one of the top shoes to be aesthetically satisfying and performance enhancing.

mikayla holway

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SPORTS | February 16, 2018 | The Relationships Issue

O H W R O I N E S THE R E Z Z U B E H T BEATS

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or nearly a decade, senior Olivia Ori has found comfort and passion on the basketball court. She currently is the shooting guard for the girls varsity basketball team, her third season participating at the highest level of the sport.

She has tried to play different sports throughout her life including softball and volleyball, but basketball gives her a different feeling, a better feeling—it makes her forget about all of her worries and stress.

Ori has played on many different teams in the last ten years starting at the Lindenhurst Park District, then moving to the Jr. Sequoits feeder program and ultimately playing for the Antioch Upper Grade School Warriors. When high school came around, she played for the school and also switched to more intense teams for the spring and summer seasons by starting to play AAU basketball. She had played for the Lake County Challengers, AGB Hawks and Bowen Basketball.

She would go to practices early, stayed after and continued to practice her shot in her driveway at home. Whenever the team needs a quick shot they make sure to get her open and get her the ball.

Her coach of three years has a lot of confidence in her and feels she is a very coachable person, which is not always the easiest trait to find in a player. “[Olivia] is one of our best three point shooters,” girls varsity basketball coach Jamie D’Andrea said. “If she gets a pass and her shot is in rhythm, there’s nobody else I’d rather have shooting that shot.”

Ori has used her shooting ability to help the team out of tight games and even increase the leads in most of them. One moment she will never forget was during a JV tournament her freshman year, she had a last second

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ER TAYLOR A. FELTN aytayf10 tom tom staff // @t

half court shot to win the game for the Sequoits in overtime.

Not only has she made a positive impact on her coaches, but also on her teammates throughout the years.

Junior Becca Ustich had nothing but good things to say about Ori on and off the court.

Olivia helps her team understand the game because she gives them pointers on the court on what to do and how to do it in order to strengthen the team and allow them to gain points,” Ustich said. “Off the court, Olivia helps anyone and everyone with anything they need.”

Being a genuine person in the real world and on the basketball court isn’t always the most common thing, but Ori works hard at it and makes sure she does it well.

Even though Ori’s high school basketball career is coming to an end, she is very grateful for the years and memories she has made.

She also encourages other people to try basketball and to get involved in sports so they can have forever friends and memories from them. Ori even has some advice for anyone in the future that is willing to give basketball a shot.

“To any future basketball players: play basketball for yourself,” Ori said. “Do not let anyone tell you that you can’t do it or bring you down. Just keep working.”

This advice does not only go for basketball or sports, it goes for people that are willing to try something new and work at it to get better.

T F E L S A H O H THE COACHLW Y C A G E G A LASTIN

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he man behind the wrestling madness is varsity wrestling coach Wilbur Borrero, who is currently staring down the end his career as a dean at Antioch Community High School. Along with leaving his position as dean, he is potentially leaving the mats and his post as head coach for the varsity wrestling team. While Borrero doesn’t plan on staying, he has said that if they need him for two more years he would be willing to be an assistant and help out the team.

“I’m hoping it’s not my last year coaching because I enjoy working with kids,” Borrero said. “If they needed me to coach again next year because they haven’t found the right person for the program, then I’d be willing to do it.”

As time goes on, Borrero wants the team to be able to be successful in the following years, whether or not he is there with them or not. His athletes also understand the importance of finding a new coach for the upcoming years.

“I feel pretty confident that we will have a great coaching staff that will be able to take over next year without coach Borrero,” junior and varsity wrestler Mikey Volkmar said.

Borrero understands this is potentially his last year coaching, but he is not letting the weight of leaving affect him or his athletes.

“If I didn’t give it all I could while coaching, then I’m cheating these kids,” Borrero said. “I’m giving it everything I’ve got in coaching and when it’s done, it’s done.”

As the years have passed, Borrero believes he has changed as a coach. Borrero personally believes he is getting smarter as a coach, while others tell him that throughout the years he has gotten less intense with his athletes in the way that he both coaches and talks.

“I was more intense when I was younger,” Borrero said. “I’ve gotten smarter, but I believe I’m still as intense, even though some of my previous wrestlers have told me I’ve gotten soft.

I don’t believe I have; I think I’ve just gotten smarter in how I handle situations so that instead of working the kids to death everyday, I will take it in different times.”

Creating relationships with athletes and making memories with them can be a coach’s favorite part about his job. This is no different for Borrero as he has developed respectable and lasting relationships with his athletes and has many memorable experiences with his wrestlers.

“My most memorable experiences are always things that they tell me afterwards,” Borrero said. “I had wrestlers that would take my keys and hide them so I wouldn’t know where they’re at and then they would put them in a place I had to climb in order to get the keys.

There’s a lot of experiences that I’ve had and a lot of good times.”

Volkmar agrees with Borrero.

“We’ve had some pretty fun times with Borrero, after meets he would let us eat as much as we want and other stuff,” Volkmar said.

rilynnt EMILY M. TORRES tant // @emily_ma digital director assis

As a dean, Borrero has made memories with his co-workers just like he has with his athletes. From dressing up for Halloween to riding around the school on scooters, Borrero claims that he will miss the good times that he has had being at Antioch for the past fifteen years.

This year for the wrestling program has been a decent season. Borrero sees that the kids have been working hard for what they want even through all of the ups and downs that the team and the athletes themselves have gone through this season.

“I think we’re having a good season, I mean we’ve had some ups and downs, we’ve had some kids that are no longer a part of the program that we thought would still be with us but there’s also personal things that aren’t always shared,” Borrero said.

“The kids have worked hard. When they wrestle they give me everything that they have when they compete.”

As the season comes closer to the meets that matter, the team is focused on doing their best in order to achieve their goals of being state champions. Borrero wants his whole team to be able to go down to the state competition this year. “[After IHSA Regionals] we will start making those steps as a team toward the state tournament,” Borrero said. “What I would love to have is for the opportunity for our team to get downstate as a team and see if we can bring back another state trophy.”

As he comes closer to his retirement, Borrero is recognizing that he is still in the peak of the wrestling season and he is excited to see the progress the team has had.

As the season comes to a close, four of Borrero’s wrestlers made it down to individual state being held this weekend. For updates on the wrestlers accomplishments, follow our Instagram, @SequoitsSports, and Snapchat, @ACHSTomTom.

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SPORTS | February 16, 2018 | The Relationships Issue

O T N I G N I P P E T S R O I N U J E H T T H G I L T O P S E TH

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or the past two years, junior Avery Malicki has been a member of the girls softball team for Antioch Community High School. With the early exposure to the sport, playing travel softball prepared Malicki for her career as a Sequoit. The success Malicki has had as an athlete did not just come to her naturally, it came from the 13 years of being involved with the sport.

“I got involved with travel softball when I was four years old,” Malicki said. “My whole family was into sports and my older brother started playing football, so my dad encouraged me into softball, which I wasn’t really excited for, but it eventually grew on me around the time I was eight years old.”

Softball is a bat-and-ball game played between two teams of nine players who take turns batting and fielding. The Antioch softball team has had much success in the past and continues to uphold that tradition. Last year, Malicki’s nine home runs and grand slam were major advantages for the team over their competition. For travel, she plays catcher or third base, but for the Sequoits, she is a designated hitter. Since she is so consistent in her batting she often only bats to help the team travel the bases and become victorious over their competitors. This has helped the Sequoits capture two IHSA Regional titles these past two years.

“She is such a strong hitter when it comes to games, I honestly don’t know how she does it,” teammate Abby Pyburn said. “Then when she takes the field, at least in travel, her arm as a catcher is unbelievable. I’ve never seen a girl throw as fast or strong as Avery.”

In Malicki’s opinion, high school softball is completely different than travel softball, but in a positive way. In travel, there is an abundance of talent at every tournament one may compete at during the season. Oftentimes, the competitive edge doesn’t allow for chemistry to rise within the team because of the focus of having to compete every weekend for weeks on end. In high school, there is a family connection that often allows for some teams to be successful and that is how Malicki feels towards Antioch softball.

“My favorite part about Antioch softball is the girls on the team. I love being around them everyday because we are all like a bunch of sisters,” Malicki said. “They’re all so funny and when it comes time to compete, we all have such good chemistry that we play as one unit and sometimes come out on top over our competition.”

According to Malicki, when it comes time to compete, there is a switch in her personality.

Oftentimes, athletes can be a completely different person outside of their sport. One can be a confident person on the field, but could

IAN JOSEPH M. KEST@j estian9 team leader // _k

seem like the shy kid in school. For Malicki, that switch in her personality can be described as competitive and a perfectionist.

“Avery is probably the biggest perfectionist I have ever met in my life,” Pyburn said. “She let’s the little things bother her when she makes a mistake and will then try and fix that until it is down perfectly. Even when it seems perfect to everyone else, she still feels like she’s not doing something the right way.”

Malicki is also hopeful about competing in college athletics.

Like some high school athletes, determination and hard work are part of an everyday routine working towards her dream of competing in college. For Malicki, her dream consists of competing at the Division I level in either the BIG10 or the SEC conference.

Being involved in travel softball, Malicki has been able to expose herself and show off her talents in college showcases, which has worked in her favor.

“I have gotten a couple emails from small Division I schools but mostly Division II,” Malicki said. “My dream is to play for the Gators at University of Florida, but that is a dream that may not come true so I like to have an open mind [about] what school I would like to attend as an athlete as well as a student.”

Malicki has not only just been involved with softball, she has made it a priority in her everyday life. This has not only resulted in her success, but also her enjoyment with the sport after competing for so many years. The drive, determination and passion are tools that can help her as she prepares for the upcoming season in the spring.

S T I O U Q E S E THE FUTUR N THEIR WAY WHO ARE O EVAN VAZQUEZ First it was Kayla and then it was Rolando; now there is one last Vazquez to make a mark on the soccer program. Evan Vazquez has played soccer for nearly nine years. He is a key player in any formation—playing either center mid or center back. As of right now, he has played all three years at AUGS and plays for the Chicago Kickers, and next year he plans to wear the cardinal and grey.

“I can’t wait to start playing with my new team and I am excited to play all four years for the high school,” E. Vazquez said.

E. Vazquez is known for being able to see the field and predict where his teammates will or should be. He brings that strength to the team which has been a problem in recent years.

The more time the team has the ball, the better they have a chance at winning. Being in those center spots brings out other roles that E. Vazquez can bring next year.

“I think he can bring a lot of heart and hard work to the team next year,” older brother, senior RJ Vazquez said.

E. Vazquez also plans to wrestle throughout his four years of high school and hopes to carry on the values that athletes have left before him; he also wants to get a few regional wins.

PETER A. BOEH LAUREN DEGUZMAN Starting a sport at a young age can be beneficial for any athlete, no matter the sport. For seventh grader Lauren Deguzman, cheer filled her life since the second grade and she is hoping to continue for many more years to come. This past year, Deguzman was a part of the Antioch Vikings seventh and eighth grade team that placed third at state. Throughout her many years as a Viking cheerleader, she learned a number of lessons that will be useful in and out of cheerleading.

“The vikings program encourages me to stay active and trains me for things we might eventually do in high school,” Deguzman said. “Not only is the physical training beneficial, but I also have created friendships that will carry into my high school years.”

Even though she still has one more year left in the Antioch Vikings feeder program, Deguzman is already preparing for the high school tryout process. By taking three tumbling classes a week, Deguzman is hoping her hard work and determination will pay off in the future.

Transitioning from a feeder program into the high school level can be difficult for some athletes, and can create a high level of nerves for incoming freshman. For the cheerleading team specifically, their season is longer than any other sport—

equivalent only to dance. Not only does the tryout process begins in May for the athletes wanting to cheer during the football season, but the process also begins again in October for the athletes wanting a spot on the competition team. This is something that will be completely new for the vikings cheerleaders, considering they are just placed onto a team and the tryout process does not take place.

“My teen coaches have always told me that high school cheer will always be harder than vikings,” Deguzman said.

“I’ve always been told that high school cheer expects a lot and you have to be mentally and physically prepared for what they throw at you.”

Making the decision to start cheerleading is something that Deguzman will never regret. Not only has she made friendships and developed trustworthy relationships with her teammates over the years, but she has pushed herself to do things she thought weren’t possible. Though still a seventh grader, Deguzman is looking forward to bettering herself in order to become a Sequoit cheerleader in the future, and experience everything it has to offer.

AVERY J. FRASCH EMILY ROBERTS Girls golf is certainly not the most popular sport to join in high school, and last year’s team only had seven players. However, eighth grader Emily Roberts has played the sport since she was eight years old and is ready to take on the challenge of joining the high school team.

“I enjoy playing golf because it is challenging and something I have grown up around because my dad plays as well,” Roberts said. “I also love being outside and playing an outdoor sport.”

Roberts believes she has acquired many techniques that have helped her improve her game. Her dad and other various golf teachers have taught her how to play and what needs to happen in order to constantly better her final score each time she takes the course. Outside of the many skills that she is ready to use when she joins the team, Roberts is also excited to play to win matches and tournaments instead of just playing for fun.

“I was really excited as well when I joined the team last year,” freshman Madison Maish said. “I hope she is ready to play and make the team atmosphere even better.”

KARLEY K. ROGALSKI

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PERSPECTIVES | February 16, 2018 | The Relationships Issue

WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE

RAISED BY A HEROIN ADDICT

BY CASSANDRA BUCHIGNANI as told to mollie wagner

M

ommy and daddy are fighting again.

I haven’t seen much of her lately, just when she’s throwing clothes into bags banging her big box on wheels down the stairs of our apartment complex. Mommy’s gone now—she fell out of our fingerpainted picture right after my birthday; I just turned four. Daddy walked me to the bus stop with his hand in mine just like he did everyday. We live in a small town with trailer parks and broken families, mine included. But I had Dadieo and he had me, his little Sandoz; together we had all we needed, each other.

When we moved to the big city, our house was connected to a bunch of other houses. “A six flat,” Grandma says. Her and Grandpa own it and we get to live right underneath them. I don’t know why, but daddy never carries a briefcase, wears a tie, or even gets a little envelope with money inside every week. I don’t mind though, it only makes him more perfect in my patchouli burned eyes. Our apartment is lined with Jim Morrison and Jimi Hendrix posters, and I always play with the strings that hold together the three guitars my dad takes such pride in. Tonight I head butted dadieo’s beer gut on the thin Indian style rug, pretending to be the big WWF fighters—I won. I always win. We plop down on the maroon couch all out of breath with smiles plastered across both of our faces. I wear the stereotype “daddy’s little girl” with such pride.

Middle school mornings are tough. Dadieo barges in with a huge smile and a little song, but I only long for my eyes to close once more before the sun pokes them awake. He does drag me out of bed though, and I instantly collapse into a starfish onto the heated floor. I watch him as he leans back exposing his beer belly and fluffing his hair back in the mirror. I went to eat

40

cereal, but the only spoon in the drawer had char marks all over it. I skipped breakfast. Dad took me to school and I wanted to ask about the spoon, but he cracked a joke so I just let it ponder in my thoughts for awhile. As the days go by, I come home to more spoons with burn marks and fewer questions being answered. He

over me. Dadieo is in too deep for anyone else’s opinions and trying to stop his neverending lifestyle is out of reach and inevitable. As much as I love him, I have to let him go. Daddy’s little girl is being pushed out the door, and I am so relieved to leave.

I am 14, and living with my aunt and her

takes me home from school and there’s alcohol lingering on his breath—I can smell it. His eyes seem to be redder than usual, but I hug him tight and tell him all about my day.

There’s a little clinic on Clark Street that my dad and I go to every so often. I love it. It’s the perfect way to indulge in a whole day with just my dad and me in the city. I’ve never known the purpose for these trips, but I did know that he was so desperate for whatever was in the little pink bottle. This seems to be much more than a drinking problem. Dadieo is sick, and he is trying to get better, which is only making him worse.

It has officially been confirmed that something is really wrong. I see him in his bedroom window. The outside light was just enough to fulfill his needs, which is why his curtains are wide open. Tears fall from my eyes as I scribble the images flashing in front of me. Doctors use needles, and dadieo is by no means a doctor.

My breathing starts to escalate, and my cousin peers over my shoulder to see what I am so hysterical about. I rip the paper of disappointment to shreds. Grandma tries to piece the puzzle together, she tries to understand—no one can understand what’s going through his mind except him. He made up his mind.

He promises to stop, just like last time. This promise becomes a past time. For awhile, he was getting better. But now, we have company.

It’s not just him and I anymore. It’s daddy’s little girl now in competition with his new girl. Since I was the only girl in daddy’s life, I was hurt that he was choosing bad habits and influences

family. Being without Dadieo is so hard; there is no one to pull my winter hat over my head, and my cousins are never in the mood to play poker.

I got off the bus the first day back from spring break. It was a long day. I walked inside to the still house and felt the tension in my bones. My aunt called me from upstairs and asked me to come talk to her. As I start telling her about my day, the excitement in my voice starts to dwindle as my uncle takes my cousins hands and walks them out of the room. She places her hands on my shoulders and sighs hard. Her eyes start wandering; they glisten with tears. She tells me that my father had passed away due to a heroin overdose.

This woman is clearly sick. Worse than daddy. Who would ever make a joke like that?

I run into my room and slam the door. My body starts shivering as I aggressively sob. It cannot be possible. I’m crying, screaming and shaking.

I’m throwing things, stomping my feet and pinching myself—this has to be a dream. A sick, twisted dream.

This dream was my reality for the next 11 years. The past decade with Dadieo gone; it’s always the little things that make me wish I knew him longer. Eighth grade graduation: gone. Conformation: gone. High school graduation: gone.

College: gone. First job: gone. If I get married: gone. He’s missed everything. The comforting faces have always reminded my heavy heart, “he would be so proud of you.” But those words will never fill the void of what’s been taken from me.

Griffin Hackeloer 41

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