VOLUME 9 • ISSUE 6 • JUNE 2015
Refreshing Your Health
FATHER FITNESS • The depressed male • Coping with fatherhood stress • Staying healthy • Top Tips
Father fitness BEING THE “HALIGI NG PAMILYA” IS NO EASY TASK. MAKE YOURSELF FIT FOR THE TASK AT HAND. The debate about balancing work and family life has always been pictured as an issue for women. This, I believe, is an unfair presumption. Modern times have bombarded men, particularly fathers, with calls to “be more involved with family life”, as if fathers care less about their families than their partners.
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This is farthest from the truth. More and more men have embraced the ideal of a nurturing father, not just a providing one. Furthermore, a 2008 study by Boston College showed that men in general are, in fact, more bothered about this conflict than
A SLICE OF ORANGE
VOLUME 9 • ISSUE 6 • JUNE 2015
women. In this study on families where both parents are working, 59 percent of fathers report “work-life conflict” while only 45 percent of women report such a conflict (it is suffice to say, however, that both genders report this conflict in high proportions). The study suggests that this conflict could be because of the desire of fathers to spend more time with their children, but their workplace is more reluctant to give them time off for family reasons than women. Does the phrase, “Bakit hindi ‘yung misis mo ang gumawa n’yan?” sound familiar?
This conflict is just one of the many stresses
The depressed male
sleep, low energy, low motivation, suicidal
plaguing fathers nowadays. Here are some
With all of these stresses, it is not surprising
thoughts, loss of appetite or overeating, or
others:
that many men are stressed and depressed
loss of pleasure in pleasurable activities),
1. Financial security. Many men take it
these days. However, the Filipino culture of
see a psychiatrist or psychologist. It is best
upon themselves to ensure that the overall
machismo does not provide men with a lot
to do this with your partner, but if you are
family cash flow is secure now and in the
of outlets to relieve stress. Our culture taught
not comfortable with this idea, make the visit
future.
us that “men should be strong” and “show no
alone. This is better than not going at all.
2. The family’s safety. Fathers have an in-
soft emotions.” Therefore, men are not likely
stinct to protect his family. However, the se-
to ask for help when they feel stressed out or
Coping with fatherhood stress
curity threats to the family are numerous, and
depressed. Instead, men show their frustra-
1. Consult a financial planner. Financial
fathers cannot be with every family member
tions through anger, irritability, and hostility.
wisdom is not instinctive for most people,
all the time.
both men and women. Relieve yourself from
3. Time constraints. In addition to work
financial worries by taking the first step and
and family time, both fathers and mothers
The Filipino culture of
talk to a professional. Then follow your finan-
need to also find time to exercise and main-
machismo does not pro-
cial planner’s advice. The road to financial
tain relationships with friends outside family and work. 4. Health issues. The male gender, in itself,
vide men with a lot of outlets to relieve stress.
freedom for you and your family is long and winding, but always starts with the first step. 2. Team up. Work things out with your part-
is a risk factor for heart disease. In addition,
ner. Talk to each other and set out a plan. It
the prevalence of smoking and alcohol in-
doesn’t matter whether your plan is division
take is higher among men.
Men should take these as warning signs
of labor or working together (every couple’s
5. Loss of sexual activity. Being a father
that may require professional help. If you
temperament is different). What’s important
means less time with your partner, and this
catch yourself having these signs, or other
is that expectations are clear and plans are
could lead to less sexual intimacy.
signs of depression (insomnia or excessive
well laid out and executed.
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VOLUME 9 • ISSUE 6 • JUNE 2015
3. Build social support. I have to stop right
that this is for your own individual mental
gave yourselves time to be alone together,
here to clarify things: Spending time with a
and psychosocial health, which is as impor-
just like when you were still in your courtship
friend who support you does not have to
tant as your role as one member of a part-
stage. And do not do this out of obligation—
lead to smoking sessions and binge drink-
nership. You do not need to do everything
enjoy the experience yourself!
ing. Instead, use the time to share a laugh,
with your partner, and she needs to under-
6. Enjoy time with your children. It has
feel a sense of belonging, and learn from
stand this. Politely show her this article if she
once been said that being a good father
each other.
disagrees.
meant being a good husband to your chil-
4. Nurture a hobby. Depending on your
5. Date your spouse. Having given way to
dren’s mother. But on top of that, find joy in
personality, find a hobby that you can do
your need for some me-time, acknowledge
spending time with your children. Rekindle
alone or with a group. Sadly, this point, to-
your partner’s needs. This will lead to less
the feelings you had when you first held
gether with item 3 (build social support) is
conflict between the two of you, which trans-
them in your arms, every day. Let this joy
one of the things husbands and their wives
lates to less stress. It does not have to be
wash away all the stresses that hound you.
fight about. Calmly explain to your partner
a formal date. What’s important is that you
Staying healthy
Top Tip for a Clean Diet
Top Tip for Vices
At the very top of a father’s checklist to
Max out your fiber and water. Indulge in
Drown your cravings and time yourself. Ev-
healthy living are four things that have been
fresh fruits and vegetables, and aim up to 16
ery time you get a craving, drink a glass of
repeatedly emphasized in this newsletter:
glasses of fresh water (no soft drinks, etc.)
chilled water, and time yourself two minutes.
sleep, clean diet, exercise, and zero vices. I
every day. You will feel more energized.
Your cravings will subside.
Top Tip for Exercise
With these tips, you are ensured to be fit for
Work out at home. If pressed for time, alter-
fatherhood.
will not belabor these topics. Instead, I will share with you my top tips for each. Top Tip for Sleep
nate doing pushups and body weight squats
Impose a caffeine deadline. Do not drink
for a minimum of 20 minutes and a maxi-
any caffeinated beverages 8 hours before
mum of 40 minutes. Do each exercise until
your allotted bedtime.
your muscles hurt moderately.
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A Slice of Orange
is a newsletter designed to help clarify basic health information and offer juicy tips on uplifting your health.
Editorial team Alvin Delfin Christine Llenes-Delfin Ivan Olegario, MD