The Four Loko Conflict Edition
TM
By: Ryan Burke, Danny Gorman, Anjanette Haggard, and Roberto Herrera
What is Conflict? The simple definition of conflict is simple: an argument or disagreement. However, in the world of communication, a conflict is much more complex concept with multiple components: expressed struggles, interdependent parties, perceived threats, incompatible goals, scarce resources and interference.
Think of it this way: in the midst of a conflict, you have to express the problem to the right person, determine if the parties involved depend on each other, identify the threat (if any) as well as the goals of everyone involved, examine if there are enough resources to go around, and determine if other parties are preventing you from reaching your goals.
Conflict: Firecracker vs. Atomic Bomb? FIRECRACKER ➔ Gossip: Technically not an expression of conflict because both parties don’t know that there is somthing wrong. They do not discuss or hint at the problem/rumor.
➔ Independence: If you can go
➔
➔ ➔ ➔
about your life without the person you have a “firecracker” with, then your situation is not a conflict. Fighting Words: If no fighting words are used, or there is no threat perceived by you, then it is not a conflict Result: You don’t care if you win or lose in the end because it’s not that important to you. Wants: You don’t necessarily want what the other person has because the resource is bountiful. Defense: Nothing/nobody is interfering with your goals.
ATOMIC BOMB ★ Struggle Bus: Both parties are aware of the conflict because they communicate it (verbally or non-verbally) to each other. ★ Friendship: Both parties rely on each other to make their system work. They need each other to overcome certain challenges.
★ Fighting Words: You believe the other party is threatening you in some way.
★ Not Seeing Eye to Eye: Parties involved want different things that are important to them and they will not settle until those wants are met. ★ It’s Either Me or You: Resources are scarce (there is not enough to share). Money for utilities is an example. ★ Penalty: You feel pissed off because the parties involved are “interfering” with you achieving yoru overall goals
College “Conflicts”: Firecracker or Atomic Bomb? Stephen, 19, GVSU So I heard from a third party that my roommate was making up rumors about me hooking up with some random guys. I’m thinking about confronting her, but I haven’t yet.
I messed up. I went out drinking with my friends one night and ended up hooking up with my best friend’s exgirlfriend...The thing is, I really like her. When he confronted me, he was furious. We are currently not talking because we both need to cool down.
Jared, 22, MSU My roommate from last year approached me saying I still owed him money for the last two months of utilities. He said he needed it by the next day because he needed money for gas to drive home. I snapped because he gave me no advance that I needed to get money I owed him. However, he said he would stay an extra day to allow me more time to get the money I owed.
Catherine, 20, U-M My boyfriend and I have been fighting a lot lately because his parents just don’t like me and don’t want him dating me. I believe that’s why he’s acting distant and not showing as much affection towards me. We love each other and are dependent on each other. His parents are tearing us apart.
Answers: Melinda-Firecracker; Jared-Firecracker; Stephen-Atomic Bomb; Catherine-Atomic Bomb
Melinda, 21, CMU
Answers are upside down at bottom of page
Signs You’re Dealing With A... When dealing with conflict, it’s important to know the conflict styles of the other parties involved. This will help you get to your ultimate goal: CONFLICT RESOLUTION! Collaborator Accommodator
“I see your point.”
“Whatever.” Avoider Competitor “That’s a good idea, but…” “No, you’re not listening!”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” “*Silence*” “Can we not?”
“No big deal.” “I don’t care.” “Okay.”
“That’s a good idea!”
“To take it to the next level, let’s…”
Compromiser “Meet me halfway.” “What if we did this instead?”
“Or we could…” “I scratch your back if you scratch mine.”
What’s Your Favorite Celebrities Conflict Style? Competitor
Mike Tyson: He is a classic example of a competitor because he competes in pigeon racing and was a renowned boxer (Minus the infamous ear incident).
Avoidant
Bill Cosby: He is an avoider because when he was accused of committing sexual crimes, he never addressed or admitted to anything
Compromiser
Angelina Jolie: She tries to make sure everyone walks away with something. A good example of this was when she directed “Unbroken,” she needed the actors to look like they were malnourished, so the actors starved themselves, but in exchange, she was going to starve herself with them.
Celebrities’ Conflict Styles cont. Accommodator
Neville Longbottom: If you have ever watched a Harry Potter movie, then you will know that he is always going along with Harry and his friends’ crazy plans
Collaborator
CatDog: This duo/ main character are always getting into trouble and situations that require teamwork. At the end of the day these two always end up getting what they want.
Words from Our Expert Our in-house communication Adam “The Barracuda” Baragatto currently works in the Department of Communication at Central Michigan University. Here’s what he has to say about conflict! Q: What do we filter on a day to day basis? A: We filter all kinds of things and people based on certain criteria. Q2: What kind of Criteria? A2: Some most common criteria might be gender roles, past experiences with conflict, family norms, and even false information you’ve been given Q3: Do we use one or all criteria when we filter? A3: We use all of the criteria, but gender roles is the most commonly used.
Words from Our Expert
Cont.
Q4: When do you consider a conflict resolved? A4: When both parties are at peace with the result. Q5: Would you consider yourself a chaser or an avoider? A5: I am one hundred percent a chaser, my wife will tell you that. Q6: My final question, what is your favorite ice cream topping? A6: Marshmallow Fluff has to be my go to.
Letter to the Editor Dear The Four Loko,
Your magazine has given me so much useful information. It has given me the knowledge to solve conflict efficiently and peacefully. The troubles I’ve had with conflict in the past are no longer present. I have healthier relationships with my boyfriend, parents, roommates, and teachers.I used to be the classic avoider and stayed far from conflict. This caused my boundaries to be broken down often. Now I have the knowledge to collaborate and make sure the conflict is resolved peacefully. Your magazine has done so much for me and I hope you keep up the excellent work of teaching kids about conflict. Sincerely, Andria Skillern