A TOTALLY SIMPLE
WAY TO TIE A
SHOELACE
correctly
Your mission, should you choose to continue reading is to follow these crucial steps and learn how to correctly tie a shoelace. I know, exciting. Then you can show and teach the children of the world. Or just the children you know, but don’t get creepy with it. Okay? Like, seriously.
What you will need: Shoe (laced) x2 Hands x2 A friend or relative x1 Light snack x0
1
THE CROS Firstly
Take your left hand and take hold of the shoelace situated to the left of your left foot. Now take hold of the right shoelace with the hand situated on the end of your right arm. Got it? good. Now pull upward. The tighter the better‌ Not too tight, though.
SSOVER Okay, this is the tricky part Cross the right and left shoelaces over, right hand under left, and grab hold of the corresponding shoelace with the opposite hand it is in now. Done.
Congratulations You have successfully completed part 1. Please get a friend or relative to turn the page for you. You seem to have your hands full.
Phew‌ Tense stuff
2
Next, holding the right lace tight, take the left lace and took it under the right lace grabbing it again with your right hand.
FU N
FA CT
1:
M ich ae lC
ain
ha tes
sh oe lac es.
THE UN
Keeping hold of your laces Move your hands as far away from each other as possible, until you come to an abrupt stop. Your laces are now in contact with your tongue.
NDERTOOK If you are still reading this you have completed part 2. Please do not pat yourself on the back just yet. Assuming your friend or relative hasn’t read on without you, you will need his help again.
FUN FACT 2: 4.5m wide - 1.35m tall. The biggest, hand woven shoelace mosaic with over 60,000 laces.
H T
PH
3 O L E O
Manoeuvre Move both of your hands down the shoelaces, closer and closer together, until your thumbs meet in the middle. Pointing your left index finger, wrap the shoelace in your right hand over said finger, away from you, pinching once you meet at the same lace forming a loop. We will call this, ’loop Alpha’. Done? Great.
L HO E 50% complete We advise taking a short break before continuing. Also more help will be needed.
T Okay, don’t let the name distract you, this is serious Unpenetrated your left finger from the right hole. Then, using your left hand, complete a full 360 degree rotation with the lace around your right thumb and index finger, holding ‘loop Alpha’ in them both.
AROUND
THE REACH
Warning: Make sure you make a
clockwise rotation, as you went right under left at ‘The Crossover’, otherwise your final knot will be asymmetrical, and you don’t want that, do you?
5 You seem to be getting the hang of it
Now the hard parts over, use the thumb on your left hand, push the right shoelace through the hole left opening between your right index finger and ‘The Undertook’ creating a second loop. We will call this, ‘loop Bravo’. Okay maybe that wasn’t as easy as I made out to be.
THE PUSH
FUN FACT 3: A 60 year old man once tripped over his shoelace at the shooting range and shot himself.
Hang in there. There is only one step left and it’s kind of a big deal. It all comes down to‌
THROUGH
H
6
THE FINA Get your friend or relative to mop your brow Carefully remove your right index finger and thumb. Let go of the shoelace completely. Take ‘loop Bravo’ currently by your left thumb with your right hand, then with your left hand grab ‘loop Alpha’ and pull them away from each other.
6
AL PULL Success! Now do it on the other shoe.
Perfect, you have just completed the 6th and final step of ‘A TOTALLY SIMPLE WAY TO TIE A SHOELACE CORRECTLY’.
Unless you’re left handed, then your’re fucked.