A Dash of Spice March 2016 Issue by A Dash of Spice

a dash of

SPICE |March 2016|

Heroines of Punjab International Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day Special

content:

Interests and Hobbies

Fashion & Beauty

Food & Drink

Money Mine

Health & Fitness

Seeds of Inspiration

4 10 11 12 17 18 20 23

Feature: Heroines of Punjab The Coach

Travel

Disclaimer: No part of this magazine may be reproduced in whole or in part without written permission of the publisher. The information in this magazine is for information purposes only. One Asia Coach Pte Ltd assumes no liability or responsibility for any inaccurate, delayed or incomplete information, nor for any actions taken in reliance thereon. The information contained about each individual, event or organization has been provided by such individual, event organizer or organization without verification by us. The opinion expressed in each article is the opinion of its author and does not necessarily reflect the opinion of One Asia Coach Pte Ltd. Therefore One Asia Coach Pte Ltd carries no responsibility for the opinion expressed thereon. Comments are welcome, but they should be on-topic and well-expressed. Abusive, antisocial or off-topic comments will be deleted by web administrators. Copyright ©2016 One Asia Coach Pte Ltd. All rights reserved.

editor’s note: To celebrate International Women’s Day on March 8, A Dash of Spice aims to celebrate women from all over the world. This year we bring you the stories of the stoic heroines of Punjab – a unique community where the many men lost their lives in the civil t urmoil of 1984 and while others h ave gone abroad in search of greener pastures. As you go through the villages, they’re b ustling with women and children and the occasional old man. The women don’t just run the household but also the farms – tending to the buffaloes, planting the crops and then harvesting the crops. Yet what is remarkable of these women is the laughter – as they gather and exchange stories, there’s always laughter in the village. No lamenting of what could have been, but gratitude for what they have. In this issue we also introduce Cassi Harris, fashion stylist for women in their 50s and older; a refreshing change for the fashion scene as she brings you dressing tips. Love Cassi’s matter-‐of-‐fact writing style. What a relief to note that I’m not alone where sagging skin is concerned. As we celebrate International Women’s Day this March, I u rge women all over the world to lock arms and collaborate to realise your dreams. We bring you the story of Diana Rickman who battled some challenges after moving to New Zealand and now works with women to overcome their limiting beliefs. Then, if you are like me and love travelling, Averil M aher shares some excellent money tips while travelling. If you have a story you’d like to share and inspire women, we’d like to hear from you. Drop us an email at magazine@oneasiacoach.com and b e part of the spicy family. Lock arms as you celebrate International Women’s Day.

“Tiyaan jaman parayia” An old Punjabi saying that a daughter is just a temporary guest in her father’s home. She was born to be given away.

From left: Youngest sister Bachno, eldest sister Nanto, middle sister Puro and their sister-‐in-‐law Parkash

Heroines of Punjab: by Rachpal Kaur Tulsi “Life was different then,” they reminisce. “Do you remember how Grandfather chided Mother and Grandmother for sending us to school?” They laughed at the memory, “All b ut one day of school was all that we got.” The tone changes as eldest sister Nanto’s face turns grim as she laments how the sisters couldn’t communicate for years because n one of them knew how to read or write. “I left Punjab for Singapore in 1959, not knowing if I’d ever see my family again. Then in 1973, Bachno’s h usband sold his farm in Punjab to buy more farm-‐land in Utter Pradesh. That was the last time I saw her until we were reunited in 2015. Puro stayed on in Punjab and she was the only one I met every trip I came b ack. Two brothers had also left for Utter Pradesh and the only brother I had in Punjab, Prem, was a victim of the 1984-‐1989 massacre, murdered by terrorists, here in his own village.” A pain that is felt not only in Prem’s family, but many other homes all over Punjab. Every village has widows of 1984 who stoically held their families together, running their household singlehandedly with the hope that their children will have a better life and create a better Punjab. As you walk through the alleys and walk into any home, you see women scurrying around tending to the house and farms while an old man sits silently on the manji, the lucky one to survive the turmoil in Punjab that began in 1984.

Parkash: The Widow of 1984 I must have been about 14 years old when I was married off. I was a still young and didn’t understand what was happening and just did as my brothers told me to. M y mother had died when I was very little and I was brought up by my father, brothers and their wives. I have no memory of my mother. The saving grace was that only after 5 years of marriage did I move in to my husband’s home so much of my youth was still at my father’s house. But I was constantly reminded that I was just a guest in my father’s house. What I missed in mother’s love, I gained in my mother-‐in-‐law’s care and love for me. She knew that I wasn’t used to the lifestyle in the village, and she allowed me to adjust slowly; teaching me how to run a household, pluck cotton and other farming work. All was well; I had six children, three daughters and three sons. Life was comfortable; we h ad our farm. Some years later my h usband decided to join the Punjab Police force in the Home Guard. Life was good. Our children went to school and then we married off two of our daughters, Lakhi and Shind. I must say I was truly blessed as my mother-‐in-‐law loved me and I had adapted to the life in my new home. Then in 1984, there was a group that wanted Punjab to be a separate state, creating a turmoil in Punjab. Our lives changed overnight; it was no longer safe for anyone to walk out of the homes. We had nightly curfews and lived in constant fear of being attacked. Then one fateful night, some men knocked on our door and asked my husband to go out with them to talk. He didn’t come back and we got worried. Hours later, in the darkness of the night, we heard gunshots in the fields. Frightened, none of us dared to go out. In the morning, we walked with trepidation to the field to find my husband, d ead, with bullets all through his body. My happy little world came crashing down as I lost my two pillars – first my mother-‐in-‐law and a month later, my husband. With three children still teenagers, I mustered my strength to push on. There was no other choice. Two of my sons were working in another state, Andra Pradesh and used to send money home. M y daughters and I used to weave rugs to earn some extra money. Then there was the farm that became my responsibility which I managed with the help form my other son who was just a teenager then. With great difficulty I b rought up the children and got the remaining four married off. I am not the only one. There are so many widows of the massacre that started 1984. I sometimes wonder how different our lives would have been. But it’s fated; we cannot change that. The massacre took away many men either through death or migration; men who had to flee the terror or face death. We women were left to fend for ourselves. Somehow we managed. I am blessed that my children have their own families and I have many grandchildren and great-‐grandchildren. I pray that Punjab will rise again.

Was my opinion sought? No. Nobody asked the women as it was assumed that women wouldn’t know anything about land matters. But if anyone had asked me what I wanted, I would have told them that I’d rather live in Punjab. Alas! No one asked what I wanted.

” No Time for Regrets: Bachno’s Journey It was the early 1970s and I had been married for almost 15 years and a mother to eleven children. We lived a comfortable life on our farm in Punjab. There was an excitement going on at that time that you could buy more land in Utter Pradesh (UP) for what one had in Punjab. My older brother Minder was the first in the family to take the plunge, selling all his land and moving his family to UP and h e persuaded my husband to follow suit. Was my opinion sought? No. Nobody asked the women as it was assumed that women wouldn’t know anything about land matters. Since it was my older brother who had made that suggestion, I felt less apprehensive, as at least I h ad a familiar face from Punjab. But if anyone had asked me what I wanted, I would have told them that I’d rather live in Punjab. Alas! No one did and with eleven children in tow and the little clothes and pots and pans all bundled up in sheets, we made our long journey to UP in a truck. It was a long drive, one day and one night on uneven roads. What a sharp contrast UP was to the land where I was born; UP was a barren land with small, attap-‐ roofed homes. The farmland was rocky and uneven and we spent a few months levelling the fields before we could start p lanting our crops. Life was different; our home was on the farm, a sharp contrast to Punjab where we lived in the village. It was lonely b eing so far away from my family. I longed to go back to Punjab, but I couldn’t travel back alone. This was my new home, there was no choice as we h ad sold off everything in Punjab. When my mother died and then a month later my brother was killed in 1989, I only found out months later when someone visited but situation in Punjab was b ad that I couldn’t go back. Finally, I made one trip back after 40 years to meet my second sister Puro and then again four years later in 2015 when my eldest sister from Singapore was visiting. No time for regrets; just blessed we reunited.

Gurbachan Kaur: Survivor of Partition I was born in Pakistan and my mother died when I was very young and h ardly saw m y father as he was in the Special Forces and so my maternal grandparents raised me. I must have been about 11 years old when the partition of Pakistan and India happened. Overnight, my little fairy-‐tale world collapsed as thugs took the streets, looting homes and setting fields and houses on fire. I remember how the elders in the family will rush us up to the roof whenever the thugs hit the villages and we kids would be huddled in a corner, in fear. Over the months, whole villages were burnt down and we would see dead people lying in the streets, too many that d ogs and vultures would devour them. Word got a round that there were camps set up by the government and it was safer in the camps. With great difficulty, hiding in fields, my aunt took me to the camp. It was several weeks before we reached and many days we had no food or water but pressed on in the hope that the camps would be our saving grace. Alas, it was no better as the camps were overcrowded and again, we went without food and water for d ays on end. Once , in sheer desperation, we got a handful of green chillies and tried to eat them. Families were torn apart as some made it to the camps while others were separated in scuffles. Children became orphans overnight. I never saw my father or any of my relatives again. I don’t know what happened to them. Everyday we waited in the hope that we’d be put on the train to India. After about six months, an officer saw my name and recognised my father’s name; they were friends. I can still remember how with tears in his eyes, he put my aunt and me on the train and we made our way to Jallandhar in Punjab, India. The trains were overcrowded but people still tried to climb aboard and were pushed down. It still brings tears to my eyes as I recall streams of red blood flowing off the trains. I was fortunate that another officer in Jallandhar recognised my father’s n ame and made sure I was adopted by a good family. Some years later I was married off. My mother-‐in-‐law was like a mother to me; she would never allow anyone to say anything bad to me. I lost everything in the war; but I gained a family when I got married. I have six children, three sons and three daughters and we have a good life. I’m now surrounded by a loving family and adorable grandchildren who fuss over me all day and I would not ask God for more. 7

Banjaaran: The Nomadic Women of Punjab

With kids in tow, the women travel with the menfolk from village to village fixing leaks in pots and pans. No fixed home. Finding shelter in small sheds in every village.

Ratto: The Young Widow I was a young bride; just a teenager. My parents were poor so getting me married off was a h uge burden off their back. Unfortunately, while my husband’s family was fairly well off with big farms and h ouse, my husband became addicted to alcohol, which is so common in the villages. There was little my in-‐laws or I could do to get him off his addiction. Sadly, when I was hardly 40 years old, he died from his addiction, leaving me with two teenagers. Around that time my son lost his arm in a road accident. Unfortunately, not being educated myself, I found it a struggle to keep my kids at school. They were playful and I did the best I could. Finally, last year when my daughter turned 18, I married her off; a burden off my shoulders now that she is married. My son is my only hope n ow.

Veero

Ratto , on her way home after a day at the farm.

Veero: Marrying Off Daughters I have four daughters and a son. From the time my daughters were born, my b iggest tension was getting them married off. Then there is also added costs. Marrying off daughters is never an easy job; while my husband worked on the fields, the responsibility was on me to put money aside for their weddings. Men don’t know about these things; it’s always the woman’s responsibility. While the groom’s family may not ask for a dowry, one cannot marry off the daughters without giving them substantial gifts as you never know when the in-‐laws could turn around and throw us an insult for not providing enough for our daughters. When people say that boys and girls are equal, I say that we have still a long way to go. But the relationship between mother and daughter is special – ultimately a mother confides in her daughters only and not the daughter-‐in-‐laws.

Meeko: Raising a Soldier It’s been about 30 years that my husband d ied leaving me with two young boys and a girl to raise on my own. As we were n ot landowners, I had to d o many jobs to raise my children and school them. I had a few goats and I u sed to clean other p eople’s houses or work on their farms. But I was resolute to ensure that my children all received a good education. I’m lucky that my children were obedient and completed at least Grade 12. Now I can rest easy as one of my sons is a crane driver while the other is a soldier. I’ve seen much hardship but it’s all fated; it’s all in God’s hands. I thank Him for the life I have.

Meeko

the coach: Some years back I attended a conference where a speaker said that one reason women are not good at collaboration is because of the word ‘labor’ in the word ‘colLABORation’: that ‘labor’ was associated with pain and exhaustion as women associated it with the birth process and being in labour. I let you ponder and d raw your conclusion. I’ve never been pregnant and h ence do not know what being in labour feels like (yes, I’m using British English and yes there is a ‘u’ in labour and none in ‘collaboration’ and so I question the above theory.) who called the shots? Although I've left my corporate job for almost 15 years, the belief had stayed -‐ it is men who ran corporates.

locking arms

I have been criticised (severely) for not partnering up more with women. But the truth is, I am gender-‐ blind when it comes to collaborating for my business and my projects. I go where I get the best deal and with the person who best meets my needs. For example, my website designer is a male and I've been So what’s my point? working with him for the past 6 I’m putting it out there: Guilty years. I did try working with a woman as charged! I am a woman who designer many years before and we just didn't click, she didn't understand seldom collaborated with other women. Not consciously, my needs and couldn't meet my turnaround time. no intentionally. It just didn’t happen. It’s not that there So as I venture further into my were no opportunities; business, I've come to this realisation perhaps I never saw them as I’d n ever placed collaboration that no matter how hard I work, I cannot do it alone. Collaboration is as a high priority for my IN, girlfriends! So to all the women success at work. out there who are starting out on your I had a belief. Hard work, only new venture, here are 2 tips I'd like to share with you to start locking your MY hard work will pay off. arms with someone else: Did I collaborate with men? 1. Quit the playground politics: You Yes I did. Because, you see, know what is this. When we were men ran organisations, they were in-‐charge. Weren't they little girls and little Mary Jane didn't the decision-‐makers, the ones share her toys with us, little Diana had a nice d ress and was always showing

off and so we stopped being friends them. So it didn't work out for one project. Or maybe this was just a short-‐term project and you're having a rethink whether to continue or extend the project. Or perhaps the outcomes weren't delivered. Whatever the reason, don't make the parting terminal. Leave that door open as you never know how, when and where your paths will cross again. 2. Go with the best: Stop being controlled by what some segment of the society dictates. A woman entrepreneur is not obliged to only partner with other women but with whomever that best meet your needs. Rachpal has designed an online coaching programme for women in transition. For a FREE CONSULTATION, write to her at more@oneasiacoach.com or visit her website at www.oneasiacoach.com

interests/hobbies:

spice up your life

From left to right: Kuljit, Bhupinder and Kulvinder

knitting relationships…… by Rachpal Kaur Tulsi They’re up at 4 a.m. every morning, seven days a week. A quick bath in the chilly morning followed by some quiet moments in prayer and then the household duties begin: milking the buffaloes, making tea for the family, feeding the buffaloes and then fixing b reakfast for all. By 7, the yard is bustling with activity as kids are sent off to school or work. They hardly sit down – only to have a quick breakfast b efore the routine starts again, this time washing the clothes, hanging them out to dry, sweeping and mopping the floor and then getting the vegetables ready for lunch. Finally lunch is served to everyone – husband, children, parents-‐in-‐law, guests before they sit to have a bite. Not a complaint; this is life in their village. This is their life; caring for others before self. As the afternoon sun shines with its full might, they lay the manji under the shade of the tek tree; finally free from the chores and time for themselves. Knitting needles and rolls of yarn laid out on the manji as they swiftly knit away cardigans while catching up on the latest happenings in the village. As the fingers click away, it’s amazing to see the designs created without any pattern book. “We’ve been doing this for so many years, it’s hard to explain how we create the designs. We know the basic needlework and the rest is just a turn and twist here and there. Sometimes, the women in the village will pay us to knit them cardigans. So that’s some extra pocket money for us.” The lull in the afternoon is a contrast to the bustle in the morning. The only activity is the chatter and laughter as stories are exchanged and gossip shared.

fashion/beauty:

Make it Fit By

Cassi Harris

glitter and glam

DeliriousLife Dressing Rule Number One –

Make It Fit!

If you are looking in the m irror and wondering why your clothes don't look as good on you as they look on other women, or even as they once used to look on you, then chances are you are making the number one basic error of dressing over 50-‐ wearing clothes that don't fit. It's very simple: Regardless of the style or expense of your clothes, they will never flatter you if you are either squeezed into them or swimming in them. Women in middle age can fall into this trap easily without even realizing it. We see the first lumps, bumps and wrinkles of our aging bodies and it is uncharted territory for us. What do we do now? Pretend by our clothing that we are really 30 but just h appen to look 55? Or grab the loosest, baggiest trousers and b louses to camouflage our tummy and slightly sagging what’s-‐its, thinking we will fool ourselves or anyone else? Unfortunately, it doesn't work. Clothes that don't fit properly will only add bulk to your frame, and they actually draw more attention to problem areas than if your clothing fits properly. They will actually steal attention away from the best parts of your figure, making you look dowdy, unfit and yes, even older. The perception from others becomes exactly what you are trying to avoid – that either you look like you are attempting to squeeze into something you pulled out from your closet twenty years ago, or worse, that you are not accepting of the fact that you are no longer fresh out of college.

Photo by Aaron Goedtke

So what, then is a “good fit”? Below are some guidelines which will make you instantly look thinner, exude more confidence, and look much more attractive.

TOPS •

•

Long sleeved garments should hit just below the wrist bone with ease, not being too tight or loose. The shoulders of any jacket or top should stop AT the shoulder– right where your arm is attached – not below the shoulder. There should not be excess fabric in the armpit of your top when you put your arms at your sides. Excess material there makes your sides look bunched and drags the eye towards your hips, which are not a typical older woman's b est asset. The back of your top shouldn’t show ripples or ridges. If there is a little ‘extra’ in your back, then wear a camisole under tops. If there is visible pull between your shoulder b lades, then you will need to go up a size. And please, invest in a well-‐ fitting bra! A button-‐front blouse should never gap open at the bust line.

PANTS •

•

Tailored pants should fall to the ground with shoes on. This means that sometimes your jeans will skim the ground when you walk. A tailor can adjust the length to just above the ground. Long pants that are too short for your frame will make you look “nerdy” (and not intentionally so!). Cropped pants can be really cute on most women, but be sure that they are not hitting the widest portion of your leg. That definitely looks nerdy! Cropped pants should hit at the bottom of your calf muscle where your leg comes into your ankle. And ankle pants should hit at your ankle – not at the top of your shoe. If you notice your pants creasing in the hip area, that means they are too small. Opt for the next size up. You may need to have the waist taken in to get a correct fit. If your pants are bunching in the hip area, then your pants are too big, not fashionably baggy. Baggy pants that fit are pants your size but in a proportionate baggy style. There is a b ig difference, which you can see and feel when you wear them. Photo by Aaron Goedtke

SKIRTS and DRESSES •

•

A slim pencil skirt should fit without bunching or wrinkling up at your hip. Do the sit-‐down test: when you stand up, is the skirt ‘stuck’ or hiked up at your hip? If it is, then it is too small. I believe there are 3 lengths of dresses and skirts that women over 50 should stick to: Knee Length, which hits right at the bend of your leg; Street Length, just below your knee or at the top of your calf muscle, and Mid-‐Calf, the bottom of your calf muscle. Having a hard time parting with your mini d resses? Wear them as a tunic over skinny stretch jeans or leggings with a jean jacket or blazer -‐ they look great n o matter what your age! Photo by Thomas Corcoran

Cassi Harris, in her 50s, started DeliriousLife: Fashion, Beauty and Style for Women over 50, sharing fashion tips for women in theirs 50s and over. Whoever said that when you’re in your 50s and older that you need to wear shapeless dresses or h igh-‐waisted jeans? Based in Minnesota, USA, Cassi loves to check out the stores for the latest fashions and best d eals in clothes, shoes and bags. For fashion and styling tips, follow Cassi at: Web: www.DeliriousLife.net Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DeliriousLifeFashion/

food and drink:

Pakora Ingredients: 2 cups flour besan (chickpea flour) 1 cup water one big onion, chopped 2 green chillies, chopped 10 sprigs chopped coriander 2 diced potatoes 1 cup cauliflower, chopped 1 teaspoons salt (adjust for taste) Oil for deep frying

spice, dice and splash

Method: • Mix all the ingredients in the besan flour to coat them evenly. • Add the water to make a thick batter. • Heat the oil in a wok or deep pan till very hot. • Drop spoonfuls of the batter into the hot oil. • Allow one side to turn golden brown and turn the other side. • When both sides are golden b rown, remove from oil and d rain. • Serve with chilli or tomato sauce or mint chutney.

money mine:

common cents

MONEY TIPS for the Savvy Traveller By Averil Maher

I love travel. In fact I decided very early on that I was going travelling as soon as I possibly could. So, at the tender age of 19 years I boarded a plane (for the first time ever) and jetted my way from Wellington New Zealand to London England. As you would probably expect, my mother was a little apprehensive about me travelling so far away from home on my own. I was a bit nervous as well but I had a friend in England and, with the confidence of youth, was sure everything would b e fine. One thing I will always remember about this time was a simple p iece of advice my mother gave me. She said “Always have your hands on your money – or someone else will” This advice stood me in good stead as I wandered around the markets in London, crowded buses in Rome and h uge ferry terminals at midnight. And it has been the basis of the sound financial systems I put in p lace to manage my money when I returned home.

If you are like me, and love to travel, h ere are some of my best money tips. Tip #1. Know what your money is doing. Like my mother told me – keep an eye on it. Check your bank statements. Confirm that the transactions are indeed yours. Watch out for additional bank charges that might b e eating into your balance. If you are carrying cash, be aware of where it is. In your pocket is not a good idea. Pay attention to how much cash you hand over at a store and notice what change you receive. Tip#2. Always have two sources of funds available to you. For example a credit card and a debit card. Keep these in different places. Perhaps one in your wallet and the other in a compartment in a different bag. Should your wallet be lost or stolen you will have something to fall b ack on. Talk to your bank about which type of card is best for your needs. Find out what fees are applicable when making a withdrawal from an ATM machine, transaction charges and exchange rates. Tip#3. Download some travel Apps on your phone. These can help you with language, finding the nearest toilets or the cheap places the locals like to eat. Finding local eateries is one of the highlights of travelling abroad. Eat like the locals – spend like the locals. Tip#4. Use p ublic transport. As a traveller or tourist you can often pick up special ‘tourist rate’ type travel cards. The Metro or Underground is usually good value and very straightforward when trying to navigate your way around a foreign city. One of my favourite ways of getting around a city is to use the local bus network. Not only do you get to your destination easily, you can talk to other passengers or the bus driver about where to get off and what to see and do. When sitting in a bus you also get a tour of the city and discover things that would otherwise have gone un-‐noticed. Tip#5 Check cheap hotel booking sites. There are several choices, for example Trivago.com, Wotif.com, Lastminute.com. I have found that sometimes if you talk to the hotel in question and say you have found this particular deal online, they will often match it. Never be afraid to ask for a better deal. Another alternative is to stay with a friendly local. Travel site AirBnB.com has a fantastic selection of affordable room rates within other people’s homes. I have stayed with some really lovely folk. My final accommodation suggestion if you are traveling with a group and plan to stay several d ays in one location is to hire a Holiday Home. You can stay in a top end villa or country house for less than a top hotel. Some sites to look at are HomeAway.co.uk, Cheznous.com or Luxuryretreats.com I hope my tips have inspired you to get Savvy when planning your next trip away. Now, where shall I go next? Averil M aher is a Money Mindset and Business Coach. She has been helping others smash through their limitations to achieve their dreams of over a decade. Averil believes that if you can dream it your can do it. She lives with her husband and aging dog in a quiet seaside town in New Zealand. To find out more about what Averil offers visit www.celestinecoaching.com

health and fitness:

live life to the fullest

Diana and her family on a holiday

Hi, I’m Diana Rickman, 51 years old and married to Steve for 26 years. We have two children, James 19 and Lizzy 16. I was born in London and lived around UK before we moved to New Zealand in 2006. I’m currently studying for a Psychology degree with Massey University. I love gardening, reading, walking, baking, creating and learning. I'm an EFT practitioner and mindset coach and I'm on a bit of a quest to explore, share and teach and learn. I create podcasts, a blog and coach and I'm passionate about helping women grow emotional strength because I believe it's the key to confidence, contentment and your personal and professional success. My own experiences with EFT resulted in a passion for the technique and inspired me to train as an AAMET certified M aster practitioner and establish my coaching practice. I love sharing that special moment as my clients realise their own strength and wisdom; they 'get it' they h ave choices. To work with me, you can reach me at: Facebook -‐ https://www.facebook.com/dianarickmancoaching website – www.dianarickman.com Linkedin -‐ https://nz.linkedin.com/in/dianarickman Itunes -‐ https://itunes.apple.com/nz/podcast/emotional-‐freedom-‐show/id1073696212?mt=2

My Journey to Health and Fitness By Diana Rickman Then about six years ago I began to have problems “I create podcasts, a blog and coach and I'm passionate about helping women grow emotional with my health. I started to experience slight asthma, my childhood eczema returned and then most strength because I believe it's the key to confidence, contentment and your personal and alarming of all, my heart developed arrhythmia. I would often find myself feeling shaky and breathless. professional success.” On top of all this I was about 15 kilos overweight.

I haven't always been like this! I used to feel like I had to charge through life in a super hero suit fixing, controlling, organising and making everyone but myself happy. It was exhausting and not very satisfying but I buried my feelings in my busyness not daring to stop and think about what I really wanted.

This time I tapped to try to find the cause of my ill health. An ECG ruled out any real problems with my heart and I was offered beta blockers and asprin for my heart, lotion for my eczema and ventolin for my asthma. Not really how I h ad imagined myself at 45! I felt old and tired; I didn't sleep well at night and my And then I crashed! Fourteen years ago I moved with confidence had gone. my husband and children to New Zealand for a gap I used EFT to calm any stress I was feeling and tried to year. Unfortunately, for me severe homesickness h it focus on small steps back to health. I read about diet me and quickly turned into depression. I felt alone and and h ow it can effect your health particularly looking vulnerable. I lost my confidence and my self esteem for any asthma triggers. Bread and dairy seemed to hit the floor. Not that I would h ave admitted it to you! be the main culprits so I started to slowly reduce the I just picked myself up and carried on. After all I was amount I was eating. The next thing I thought about the fixer, it was my job; I just needed to be stronger. I was sugar. Just small, manageable changes to my had all the time and compassion in the world for diet. During the first few weeks I didn't notice any weakness except for when it was my own! great difference and so I decided on a different The woman I was b ack then believed she had to do it approach. The first thing I tried was dropping all gluten from my diet. The effects were amazing and it on her own. That's how I learned about Emotional Freedom Technique, or tapping as it's more commonly took about 24 hours to feel the difference. I known. I read a tiny article about Gary Craig and EFT remember taking the dog for a walk and feeling so tapping. I couldn't believe that something so simple 'bouncy'. I made it up a very small hill without taking a rest. Things just got better and better as the week and lets b e honest, so strange, could have such a went on. I felt amazing! amazing effect. I wasn't sure if I should take this seriously but Gary seemed like a normal bloke; an engineer by trade and not at all 'woo woo.' In spite of my doubts, EFT grabbed my attention and I began to find out more about the technique. I started focusing EFT on my emotions. I acknowledged that I was feeling depressed and tapped on the embarrassment I felt about this. I used EFT to calm the feelings and very quickly began to feel like my old self again. I was hooked and have been using EFT for 14 years now.

This was exciting! I began experimenting with other food types and discovered that d airy was fine but careful monitoring revealed just how much sugar I was eating in a day. I aimed for the 5 recommended teaspoons which was easier to do than I thought. I used EFT to help me cope with the cravings for chocolate and lollies at first. The more I reduced my sugar intake the less I craved it. Within 8 months I felt like a new woman. My heart had stopped

'shaking', my asthma had gone and I lost 10 kilos without every feeling hungry. I felt like I was 10 years younger. M y eczema was reduced to a few finger nail size patches and thankfully they pop up, very rarely, to remind me when I need to slow down or look after myself better. I've since lost a further 5 kilos and to celebrate my return to fitness and health last year on my 50th birthday I completed the Tongariro crossing. I've got the bug now and more walks are planned for this year. Whilst I'm sure that the changes I made to my diet are responsible for my new health and weight loss I also know that tapping enabled me to think calmly about how I was using food to feel better. Funny when I think of it now as the food actually made me sick. What I didn't know then was that EFT is wonderful for calming feelings but the real magic happens when you learn to work through past events or beliefs especially if you do this with the help of a trained practitioner. To my surprise I began to remember old stories from my past. Events that had shaped my beliefs about how I should b e and act. Not all of them were very useful or supportive. I tapped as I thought about these stories and the hurt or anger tied up with them seemed to disappear. I could accept myself just as I was. Unfortunately, EFT can't stop things happening but it does help how you react to them. I now feel fit and h ealthy and I'm comfortable in my clothes and more importantly my own skin. I'm thankful to EFT for allowing me to calm down and listen to my own wisdom, I'm grateful for my EFT coach and mentor Liz Hart who continues to guide me on my personal journey and training with EFT. I love my life and the woman I am now and I'm proud of myself for creating that.

3 T i p s To Your Journey to Health and Fitness

If I could give you any advice on your own journey to health or fitness it would be: 1.Get support, you don't need to do this on your own. Sharing your journey with a friend or coach will always make the going easier, more fun and more enlightening. 2.Trust in your own wisdom. You may need to work at this before you're ready to accept it but you know yourself best. 3. You don't need to be a super hero to change your life. Be kind to yourself, accept and love your weakness. It's where your compassion comes from. 22

seeds of inspiration:

where women inspire women

travel :

the spicy route

Sunrise over Chhajjalwaddi by Rachpal Kaur Tulsi

The call of prayer wakes the whole village at 5 a.m. I’m a city slicker and that is one part of the holiday in Punjab that I don’t look forward to. The heads of the household would have been up for an hour by then; all bathed and joining the prayer before heading off to milk the buffaloes. By the time I crawl out of bed at 6.30 a.m. the whole house is bustling with chatter. Although I’m always grumpy at being woken up by all the chatter and clanging of pots and pans, I relish climbing to the rooftop to watch the sunrise with my hot cup of chai. From there I peep into the other homes as I exchange greetings with the neighbours who’ve become fast friends over the years or watch old men pushing their carts or leading the herd of buffaloes to the farm.

Chhajjalwaddi is village about 20 minutes from the Golden Temple in Punjab, India. Most international flights to Punjab come via Delhi and by plane, the journey from Delhi to Punjab is about 50 minutes. Travelling by road takes about 10 hours but nothing beats a train ride in India as you pass through the different cities and watch the scenery change from city to village, in six hours. Mid-‐February to mid-‐March and mid-‐September to min-‐November is the best time to visit when the weather is not too hot and not too cold. Late November to end-‐January is peak winter where it can be very foggy and it rains a lot. May to end August is summer when it gets really hot a humid with temperatures going up to 45 degrees Celsius. 24

the warm hospitality: As I go for my morning walk through the village, I wander off to the n eighbouring village. Curious children smile shyly at me as the women stop in the yard at the stranger. When they can’t hold back their curiosity, one will call out a greeting to me “Sat Sri Akal” and once I reply, the questions will flow: “Who are you?” “Where are you from?” and as we chat, it always ends with an insistent invitation for tea. “Just one cup, you must come in. you’ve come this far, just one cup of tea.” My reply is always the same, “Not today. I’ll come another day.” And off I go back to my village.

eating by the chulla : A typical sight of a village home in Punjab is the chulla, the outdoor stove that’s fuelled by sun-‐dried mud and dung and wood. Perhaps it’s the smoke, but the food is so d elicious. And what better way to enjoy food on a cold night but to sit by the stove and have piping hot chappatis and dhall topped with a generous dollop of home-‐made butter. Perhaps that’s one reason I n ever tire visiting Chhajjalwaddi every year. While it’s a time for my mother to meet her family, I usually send my food order or rather “demands” a month ahead. Top favourite on my list is deep fried baby brinjals stuffed with masala.

Golden

the Golden Temple Amritsar: No visit to Punjab is complete without a visit to the The Golden Temple Amritsar. Built about 400 years ago, d uring the reign of Mughal Emperor, Akbar who gifted the land to 4th Sikh Guru, Guru Ramdas, it is one of the key centres for the Sikh faith. No matter what time of the day or night, there will always b e throngs of worshippers coming to offer their prayers and making their vows. While many Sikhs will take a dip in the sarowar, I usually give it a miss. Instead, I like to wander around the temple, admiring its intricate carvings. The free kitchen churns out approximately 200,00 chappatis a day; all from the generous donations of the worshippers. Do check if there are special dates like the full moon or the birthdays of the Gurus as the Temple gets really crowded and you could be queuing for 5 to 7 hours to get into the temple. I like to get there b efore 9 a.m. before the crowd or heat builds u p.

It’s been 21 years since I first set foot in Chhajjalwaddi. I’ve seen the children grow to young adults, some got married over the years and have little ones of their own. Slowly, the old ways of the village are fast disappearing as the young ones have aspirations to have big homes with modern amenities like television, air-‐conditioning and other little technological advancements of the western world. As they flash the latest mobile phones and branded T-‐shirts, I feel a tinge of loss of the old ways; I know it’s selfish to want time to stand still in villages like Chhajjalwaddi. So while I can, I enjoy every bit of village life I can. S ometimes I join the harvest and another time I join in mourning the death of a neighbour or relative. But no night is complete with us all huddled under thick blankets listening to the stories that Mother and my aunties will tell of the days gone by. M ay the sun always shine over Chhajjalwaddi.

â&#x20AC;ŚI specialise in Transitional Transformation Coaching for women in transition; to smoothen the transition period, to give clarity and equip you with skills to move effortlessly to the next phase. My coaching philosophy is to take you from being a blunt tool to the sharpest tool in the shedâ&#x20AC;Ś Rachpal Kaur Tulsi

+ Reigniting Personal Belief; Reclaiming lorem ipsumPersonal Power Rachpal Kaur Tulsi [Street Address] Consultant/Coach [City], [State][Postal Code] www.oneasiacoach.com [Web Address]