Bridal
Autumn
A Special Publication of the Addison Independent
Inside
Addison Co. wedding stats........ 18 Play your role in the wedding..... 19 What kind of tux to wear............. 23 About rehearsal dinners............. 26 Marrying in different faiths......... 27
A cyclist’s wedding
a bicycle motif ran through Meg Miller and Eli Madden’s wedding, including on the decorations at the reception.
By TAMARA HILMES point of interest. MIDDLEBURY — When it came time for the big day — July “We’re both big into bikes — we don’t own a car,” Meg said. 18 — Meg Madden had everything she needed to be a beautiful “We bike and walk everywhere. We live in town, so it’s really blushing bride — the dress, the flowers, the cake, the rings … easy to get everywhere.” and the bicycle. They use snow tires in the winter, and when they need to go to “We have a picture of me in my dress, posing on my suspen- Burlington, they hop on a bus. sion mountain bike,” Madden said, describing one of “But we almost never go,” Eli said. “You can reher many wedding photos. ally buy everything we need in Middlebury.” Perhaps a bicycle at a wedding is a bit out of place, “We met On those rare occasions the Maddens need somebut for Meg and Eli Madden it was completely natu- through thing that cannot be found in Addison County, they ral. just order it online, according to Eli. bikes.” “We met through bikes,” Eli said. Eli is quite Internet savvy one could say — he is a — Eli Madden self-employed web programmer. For their wedding, Meg Miller and Eli Madden met two years ago while volunteering to teach Middlebury youth to he created a website for their guests to access and ride mountain bikes through a program sponsored by the town RSVP. Along with Meg’s eye for color and design — she is a recreation department and the Middlebury Bike Club. local jewelry designer — he created a bike-themed site to match Meg and Eli both grew up riding around the streets and trails their peacock blue and brown, bike-cog-covered printed invitaof Middlebury. They were just a couple of years apart in high tions. school, but it was not until they began volunteering for the pro- ONLY ONE BAG OF GARBAGE gram that they even met one another. Cutting down on paper use was also a big plus as the couple And bikes, one might say, have continued to be a common (See Paper, Page 20)
PAGE 18 ~ Autumn Bridal ~ Monday, November 8, 2010 ~ A Publication of the Addison Independent
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Locals tend to wed in the summer ADDISON COUNTY — The Vermont Department of Health, which keeps vital statistics in the state, reports that in 2008, the most recent year for which numbers are available, that 4,937 marriages took place in the Green Mountain State. Of these, 262 were performed in Addison County. The bulk of those — 192 — local weddings took place between May and October. The busiest month was not June (42); it was August (48). The number of marriages in Addison County per month in 2008 is shown in this chart:
The number of marriages in Addison County per month in 2008
3 JAN.
10 FEB.
9
42 31
The numbers also so that 704 brides were 21-24 years, and 559 were 35-39 years; for grooms it was 526 ages 21-24 years and 597 were 35-39 years. Twenty-one grooms were 75 years or older, 10 of the brides. Statewide, 2,788 of the 4,937 marriages were first marriages for both participants. In 142 it was the third or greater for both. Vermont did not approve same-sex marriages until 2009. In 2008, the state recorded 268 civil unions. As with weddings, the month in which the highest number was performed was August (45). Civil unions involving two out-of-state res-
48
TOTAL 262
37
34
27
8
MAR. APR.
5 MAY
JUNE JULY
The majority of the 262 weddings in Addison County that year were between a bride and groom who were both Addison County residents: 155. In 10 weddings Addison County brides married a groom from out of state. Three local grooms married brides from out of state. In the rest of the cases brides and grooms came from somewhere in Vermont, just not Addison County. The Department of Health doesn’t break down the age of the participants by county, but on a statewide basis a little less than half of brides and grooms were between the ages of 25 and 34 (2,279 brides and 2,268 grooms).
AUG.
SEP.
OCT.
NOV.
8 DEC.
idents accounted for 68.7 percent of the total number of civil unions. The states with the largest number of residents who established civil unions were New York and Florida. The largest number of Vermont residents who established civil unions resided in Chittenden County; Addison County residents participated in three civil unions in 2008. Almost 72 percent of the civil unions in 2008 were between female partners, and the most common age group for female partners was 25 to 29, and for male partners it was 45 to 49. For 75.8 percent of the civil union partners, this was their first union or marriage.
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Castle cake
DONNA SEIBERT OF the Waybury Inn created this sand castle cake for the wedding of Kylie Stevens and Matthew Bruch on Sept. 12.
Photo by Trent Campbell
Know your role in the wedding (MS) — As weddings have become less regimented and more expensive, the traditional bridal party is often pared down to a best man and a bridesmaid or two. Their roles, however, have remained constant through the years. Whether the wedding you’ve got in mind is large or small, formal or casual, conventional or original, it’s helpful to have a sense of the roles that bridal party members have played through the years. • Maid of Honor — Usually the closest friend of the bride and sometimes a relative. A married, divorced, widowed, or older woman might be called the matron of honor. She assists with
receiving line and in all other wedding party activities. He’s also the toastmaster, offering the first toast to the couple. • Bridesmaids and Ushers — Typically friends or relatives of the bride, bridesmaids may be asked to coordinate special details during the ceremony preparations or at the reception, and assist the bride and the maid of honor. Ushers (sometimes also known as groomsmen) should be prepared for an early arrival at the ceremony to escort female guests to their seats. During the ceremony, they will escort the bridesmaids down the aisle. They may also be asked to coordinate the guests’ trip from the
Autumn Bridal ~ Monday, November 8, 2010 ~ A Publication of the Addison Independent ~ PAGE 19
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the d e tails of the wedding plans, like shopping for the bridal gown, addressing invitations and choosing flowers. She arranges the bridal shower in conjunction with the bride’s family, is in charge of coordinating the bridesmaids and organizing fittings, and typically signs the couple’s certificate of marriage or wedding license as a legal witness. At the reception, she should stand immediately after the groom in the receiving line. • Best Man — Commonly the groom’s best friend, relative or not, the best man is in charge of instructing the ushers and coordinating the groom’s transportation to the ceremony. He usually holds the rings until the ceremony and will also sign the marriage certificate as a legal witness. At the reception, he holds a place of honor, escorting the maid of honor in the
ceremony to the reception as well as assist the groom and the best man. • Flower Girl and Ring Bearer — The flower girl carries a basket of flower petals to sprinkle down the aisle, or flowers to be passed out to the women seated near the aisle. The ring bearer may either escort the flower girl down the aisle, or follow her, with the rings on a pillow. • Father of the Bride — His most conspicuous duty is giving away the bride at the ceremony. He might also fulfill numerous rolls, such as coordinating transportation, dancing and toasting. Traditionally, he and the mother of the bride have paid for the wedding and reception but today it is common for expenses to be shared by both families along with the bride and groom themselves.
Homegrown
SPONTANEOUS SUNFLOWERS FROM Meg’s garden wait, ready to liven up the banquet tables scattered throughout the Town Hall Theater for the Meg and Eli Madden’s wedding reception. A former florist, Meg did all of the arrangements for the wedding herself. Photo by Meg Madden
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PAGE 20 ~ Autumn Bridal ~ Monday, November 8, 2010 ~ A Publication of the Addison Independent
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Paper (Continued from Page 17) insects had planted the seeds for her. was careful to keep their wedding eco“We had thousands of plants,” she said. friendly. “It was neat because they were all differIn fact, just one bag of garbage is all the ent textures and colors and sizes. So we did waste the entire wedding produced, accord- clay pots full of sunflowers on the tables.” ing to Eli. When planning the wedding, the In her former life as a flower arranger, two did their best not to buy anything that Meg often gave advice to other brides planwas not necessary, and when it came to plan- ning their own weddings. ning the reception, they chose to rent lin“Have a wedding in July or August beens, cutlery and dishware from Celebration cause you’ll have the most flowers,” she Rentals in Brandon. would tell them. “They were very helpful,” Meg said. “We And Meg’s had quite a bit of experience didn’t want to use anything disposable at with summer blossoms — for years she sold the wedding. We got tables and table linens, flowers at the Middlebury Farmers’ Market. all of our silverware, our plates, our glass- It was actually due to her experience at the es, that sort of thing from Celebration. We Farmers’ Market that Meg knew she never didn’t need to have serving dishes because wanted to have a wedding outdoors. The people brought their own.” weather, she said, is simply too unpredictFor the reception itself, Meg and Eli able. wanted to do something a Instead of the typical tent little different. Because they “Get away for an that plays host to many a have so many friends who summer ceremony, Meg and love to cook, the two chose hour (after the Eli ideally wanted theirs to to forgo the traditional cater- ceremony) — it take place at a venue that er affair and opted, instead, would be as beautiful and for a potluck-style hors makes a big stoic as a church, but not d’oeuvres and wine hour be- difference. That actually a church. The two tween the ceremony and the landed on the Town Hall reception, where they had way the whole Theater. a potluck buffet. A special day doesn’t go by “The people at the Town section on the website coHall Theater were so great,” like a blur.” ordinated who would bring Meg said. “They were real— Meg Madden ly, really helpful, and they what. When guests RSVPed on the site, they could also let us go in and look around sign up to bring a dish after viewing what whenever we wanted.” others were already bringing. There wasn’t even a need to decorate, ac“That way we didn’t have everyone bring cording to Eli. a green salad or something,” Meg said. “It “We didn’t really need to,” he said. was a sort of like a potluck registry.” “It was just so beautiful already,” Meg The caterer was just one of the many agreed. wedding traditions that the two let fall by No decorations, no caterer, no florist — the wayside. Rather than hire a florist, Meg no groomsmen or bridesmaids? did all of the floral arrangements herself in Meg and Eli both decided to keep it just one afternoon. simple and let their friends enjoy the cel“I used to do it professionally,” she said. ebration rather than be a part of a wedding “I think it was the quickest, most organized party. What with no extra bridesmaids, only arranging I had ever done, actually, because one dress needed to be found. I was excited about it.” “It was made out of a really pretty silk Meg grew all of the sunflowers used in taffeta that changed color in the light from the arrangements and her bouquet right in light peacock blue to brown,” Meg said, her backyard organic garden. They were describing the wedding gown that she orspontaneous sunflowers — bees and other (Continued on next page)
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THE NEWLYWEDS POSE next to a trailhead in the Northeast Kingdom. Meg and Eli, who met through cycling, chose to spend their honeymoon racing down trails on their mountain bikes rather than Europe or a tropical island.
Photo by Eli Madden
Autumn Bridal ~ Monday, November 8, 2010 ~ A Publication of the Addison Independent ~ PAGE 21
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WITH WEDDING OFFICIANT Brian Slavin clapping in the background, Meg and Eli Madden take the first steps into their new life as they make their way down the theaterturned-aisle.
Photo by Val Cannon
(Continued from previous page) dered online from a woman in China named Lucy. “I ordered the dress pretty last-minute,” Meg admitted. She explained that initially had purchased a different dress, but three weeks before the wedding day, she had a fashion premonition. “I sat up in bed and realized that I had bought the wrong dress,” she said. “So I ordered the other dress, which was custom-made, and had the order rushed through,” she said. “It came the day before the wedding.” Meg said that she had not told anybody that she planned to switch the dress. Before she walked down the aisle, only one other person had even glimpsed the imported, hand-sewn, strapless gown embellished with shearing on the torso — her best friend, Maria Graham. “I didn’t want to see her in the dress,” Eli said. He admitted to having given into the traditional superstition, but his own wedding garments remained quite avant-garde. Eli wore a peacock blue linen shirt with a handcrafted leather vest made by Dan Freeman of Leatherworks in Middlebury. The rings that that the two exchanged during the ceremony were also custommade for the couple. When Eli first began researching the different types and styles of wedding and engagement rings, he happened upon what is called a “tension set-
ting” — the diamond is suspended in a gap in the metal of the ring band, creating a look that is both ultra-modern and sleek and also, mystifying. In another one of his Internet searches, Eli found Bruce Boone, a jewelry craftsman in Georgia who specializes in titanium rings. Coincidentally, the man used to sell titanium bike parts before he switched to the ring business. Eli was instantly sold. The diamond, too, was a special find. Though the couple wanted to stray from the norm in many cases throughout the wedding planning process, Eli had always known that he wanted to give Meg a traditional diamond. “But I didn’t want a blood diamond,” Eli said. To find a diamond that was attained in a completely kosher manner, Eli spent many more hours on his computer. Eventually he stumbled upon the Canadian company Brilliant Earth. Their certified conflict-free diamonds were just the ticket. To go along with her titanium wedding band, Meg — who runs Shooting Star jewelry from her home studio — crafted a mini bike cog on a necklace and matching earrings. Bike cogs also trailed down from her updo to her neck and on down her back, craftily camouflaged in a henna tattoo painted on by local henna artist Shivani. Bicycles certainly reigned supreme on Meg and Eli’s big day — they encouraged (See Bike theme, Page 22)
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PAGE 22 ~ Autumn Bridal ~ Monday, November 8, 2010 ~ A Publication of the Addison Independent
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Bike theme (Continued from Page 21) all of their guests who could to ride their bikes to the ceremony — Eli even built a bike rack for their guests to use. While some came in their conventional cars, others embraced the spirit of the event with enthusiasm. “One of our friends rode up with their potluck dish, several different kinds of hummus, in a little kids’ trailer attached to the back of their bike,” said Meg. “It was pretty funny.” When all of the cyclists and their less wheel-happy friends arrived, Meg’s father, Gary Miller, walked her down the aisle, where she met Eli and friend Brian Slavin, a Middlebury resident who officiated the marriage. When the vows were said and done, Meg and Eli escaped for an hour while their friends and family mingled over local cheeses and wine in the gallery space below the theater and while the furniture in the main auditorium was rearranged for the reception. “We’d really highly recommend that to anybody,” Meg said of the hour-long break between the wedding and the reception. “Get away for an hour even — it makes a big difference. That way the whole day doesn’t go by like a blur.”
Though they threw out the standard “funky chicken,” the reception was a blast. Bike cog-shaped lights — specially ordered by theater light and sound director Mike Stone — danced across the walls of the theater, and cog candles graced the tops of the banquet tables laden with decadent, homemade treats. Music — chosen over the course of many nights at home leading up to the wedding — played from Meg’s iPod via the theater sound system.” “We went with ‘DJ iPod,’” Meg joked. The pair had considered hiring a professional, but in the end, they just wanted to hear their favorite songs. “And they sounded awesome because the Town Hall Theater has such a great sound system,” she added. When the wedding and reception had come to an end, Meg and Eli departed for their honeymoon, but not in the typical limo or tin-can-tied car — they hopped in Meg’s parents’ minivan. “We packed all our stuff up in my parent’s van, they dropped us off, and we rented a little cottage in the Northeast Kingdom Trails,” Meg said. And just how did the newlyweds entertain themselves that week? They biked, of course. Tamara Hilmes is at tamarah@ addisonindependent.com.
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MEG AND ELI Madden pose outside of the Town Hall Theater on their big day. For the July 18, bicycle-themed wedding, Eli constructed a bike rack for guests to use. The couple encouraged all guests to walk, bike or carpool to the eco-conscious ceremony. Photo by Val Cannon
Autumn Bridal ~ Monday, November 8, 2010 ~ A Publication of the Addison Independent ~ PAGE 23
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Newlyweds
KYLIE AND MATTHEW Bruch pose for photographs in the Waybury Inn garden just minutes after being married on Sept. 12.
Photo by Trent Campbell
Tuxedos are made to fit the setting (MS) — Personal style and preference aren’t the only things that dictate certain wedding day decisions. In fact, a host of style guidelines exist to help brides and grooms make good choices on their big day. For example, while a man might have a specific tuxedo style in mind for his wedding day, something such as the time of the ceremony can dictate which styles are appropriate. A morning ceremony, for instance, typically calls for a cutaway, or morning coat, with the ushers in matching strollers. For early afternoon ceremonies, however, it’s typical
for men in the wedding party to wear tuxedos without tails. Grooms who really want to wear tails should only do so for ceremonies that begin after 4 p.m., as tails are considered too formal for ceremonies beginning earlier in the day. W h e n wearing tails, a white vest and bow tie, but no cummerbund, is the traditional style. W h e n planning a wedding, it’s best to keep in mind that tradition as well as personal style should dictate certain decisions. To learn of any additional norms and traditions, consult a wedding planner.
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PAGE 24 ~ Autumn Bridal ~ Monday, November 8, 2010 ~ A Publication of the Addison Independent
Gearing up
LOCAL HENNA ARTIST Shivani paints an elaborate design onto Meg Madden’s back, which would not be covered by her wedding dress. Upon the bride’s request, the artist incorporated circular, bike-cog shapes into the swirls of the design.
Photo by Maria Graham
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Autumn Bridal ~ Monday, November 8, 2010 ~ A Publication of the Addison Independent ~ PAGE 25
Potluck panorama
WEDDING GUESTS DISH up homemade hummus, fresh venison and other exquisite treats at the Maddens’ wedding reception. Friends and family of the bride and groom provided all of the food, and coordinated who would bring what using the “potluck registry” web site that programmer Eli created. Photo by Val Cannon
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PAGE 26 ~ Autumn Bridal ~ Monday, November 8, 2010 ~ A Publication of the Addison Independent
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(MS) — It has become commonplace for couples to practice what will be expected of them and the wedding party during the wedding ceremony. A church or synagogue may require an abbreviated run through of the ceremony, and the officiant will instruct the wedding party on how to enter and leave the building, as well as when to engage in scripture readings, etc. This rehearsal typically takes place the evening before the wedding or a few days prior. After the rehearsal, it’s customary for the immediate family and wedding party to go out to dinner together and get to know each other before the wedding. Traditionally, the groom’s parents host the dinner, which gives the mother of the groom a
role in the wedding festivities. However, many of today’s modern couples factor the rehearsal dinner cost into their overall wedding budget. The rehearsal dinner doesn’t have to be an extravagant affair. It can take place at a restaurant or even in someone’s backyard. Some of the best are informal and really allow everyone to mingle. This occasion is also the ideal time to give groomsmen and bridesmaids a gift for their participation in the wedding, especially if a bridesmaid luncheon is not being held. The bride and groom should also thank everyone for being a part of their special day and helped out with all of the wedding planning.
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Pretty sweet
SUGARED JOHNNY JUMP-UPS from the garden sit atop mounds of cream cheese icing and carrot-cake cupcakes that Meg’s parents made from scratch. Rather than opt for a traditional layer cake, Meg and Eli went with a trendier cupcake tower. Photos by Val Cannon
Autumn Bridal ~ Monday, November 8, 2010 ~ A Publication of the Addison Independent ~ PAGE 27
Different faiths celebrate weddings in various ways (MS) — From every religious perspective, the joining of a couple in matrimony is the celebration of a new and cherished stage in their lives — one that focuses on both the joys and responsibilities of building a life together. However, there are many wedding customs particular to each religious tradition that have endured over generations and continue to be an important part of marriage celebrations throughout the world. Catholic weddings typically start off with a processional and opening hymn, followed by readings from both the Old and New Testaments and a psalm. After the recitation of the wedding vows and the exchange of rings, the priest blesses the rings as symbols of love and fidelity and offers a prayer to bless the couple’s new union. Taking communion is another traditional part of a Catholic ceremony, often followed by the recitation of the Lord’s Prayer by the entire congregation. Once the priest has blessed and dismissed the congregation, the wedding party begins its recessional and exits the church. Jewish weddings can include any of a number of customs, depending on the couple’s preferences and their family traditions. Many Jewish couples include the signing of a Ketubah, a marriage agreement in which the couple declare their commitment to each other and to God and the Jewish people, in their ceremonies. In Jewish weddings, both the bride and groom are typically accompanied down the aisle by
their parents and the ceremony takes place under a chuppah, or canopy, that represents the home. Once the ceremony has concluded, the groom steps on a glass that has been wrapped in cloth — a tradition with several meanings, including a regard for the sanctity of marriage. Muslim wedding ceremonies are traditionally brief and simple, though they can be followed by several days of celebration. Typically, at the marriage ceremony, called a nikah in Arabic, the bride and groom are in different rooms and may or may not be able to see each other. The officiant goes into each room to ask the bride and groom if they consent to the marriage and are entering into the marriage of their own free will. The bride’s responses are communicated to the officiant by a guardian, called a wali. Then, with witnesses in attendance, the couple signs the marriage contract or license and the officiant brings them together to pronounce them husband and wife. Protestant weddings can vary according to the particular denomination, but in most ceremonies, a friend or family member of the couple participates in the ceremony by reading a passage from the Bible. Most often, the wedding begins with the groom and best man standing in front of the church with the pastor as the wedding party enters and makes its way to the front of the church. The ceremony ends with the pastor offering a final blessing and the wedding party exiting the church following the bride and groom.
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PAGE 28 ~ Autumn Bridal ~ Monday, November 8, 2010 ~ A Publication of the Addison Independent
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