Issue 83.12

Issue 83.12

I N S I D E : Endings, Hipsters, and Mars www.facebook.com/onditmagazine

1

2

On Dit Magazine Issue 83.12

Issue 83.12

CONTENTS

AROUND CAMPUS

MI SCE L L ANE OUS

Editorial ......................................................... 2-3 What’s On ...................................................... 4-5 SRC President ................................................... 6 AUU President .................................................. 7 Letters to the Editor ...................................... 8-9 The Rotten Legacy of Robert Barr Smith ....... 13 2016 Student Media ................................... 28-29 Humans of Adelaide University.................. 20-21 Planet of the Arts ...................................... 26-27 Exam Annoyances ........................................... 32 Not So Smart After All ................................... 33

Tokyo Rage ............................................... 14-15 Who Cares About Deregulation? The Real Issue at University is Freedom of Speech ........ 30-31 The Beginner’s Guide to Nerdy Summer Binge-Watching ......................................... 36-37

ENDINGS

CREATIVE WRITING Song: ‘My Name Is’ ......................................... 12 Poetry: ........................................................... 16 Flame, Dear Flame ................................... 24-25 Artist Spotlight: Carly Har vey ................... 42-43

ENTERTAINMENT & REVIEWS

How Language Works ...................................... 17 Top 10 Songs to Play at Your Funeral ....... 22-23 End of the Hipster ....................................34-35h Music for the apocalypse ........................... 32-33 Romance in the Age of the Dick Pic ........ 38-39 Farewell, Face-to-Face(book)! ......................... 40

MI S CE L L A NEOU S One Ticket to Mars Please ......................... 10-11 Love Letters to the World Dictators .......... 18-19

The Best (and Not-So-Best) Music of 2015....

Music Review: Harmlessness .............................

Film Review: Bullet in the Face .........................

Art Exhibition Review: Tar nanthi ...................

41 44 45 46

DIVERSIONS Confessions of a Law Student ........................ 47 Crossword ....................................................... 48

On Dit is a publication of the Adelaide University Union

SUB-EDITORS: Mandy Li, Natalie Carfora and Lur Alghurabi

EDITORS: Daniel Millburn, Daniel McLean and Leighton McDonald-Stuart

CREATIVE TEAM: Anna Bailes and Viray Thach

INSIDE BACK COVER: The sweat and tears of the On Dit crew

COVER ART: Delia Chin

Published 28/10/2015

INSIDE FRONT COVER: Hannah Pedley

www.facebook.com/onditmagazine

1

Editorial

F

rom the tawdry desk chair on which I’m sitting, typing, as I’ve done all year, in the On Dit office, I can just catch the hum of students on the Barr Smith lawns, whose voices carry through the window. Now and then they pass right by the office’s door and pick up a copy of On Dit, cupping in their hands a magazine which required the hard work of a great many people to make.

For the last ten months, writer and artist have slaved away under the whip of the editors, who whiled away the time by staring at an inbox that was daily covered by a tide of submissions.

Without the excellent articles and artwork of so many contributors (there were around 130 in total!) the magazine would have been a measly six page quarto; and without the graphic designers who beautified each edition the pages on which they appear would be homespun and plain.

2

On Dit Magazine Issue 83.12

In spite of the responsibility of editorship, which has left me with black rings beneath my eyes, given me ghoulish skin, and made me cantankerous beyond my years, my mother says that I’m mostly in the pink, and the doctor that I’m sane. This is a relief ! And so I have a few people to thank for helping me sur vive the year. Had it not been for the them, I would be rolling around on all fours, by this time locked up in an asylum, mad without cure. Accordingly, I’m indebted to Masya, whose help all year has been a true friend’s; and to Kate, whose patience, support and love throughout the year has been that of a perfect, very beautiful, partner.

Enjoy this last read!

Daniel McLean

E

mblazoned on the glass of the Hub as you stroll in from the North Terrace side is an out of this world quote from Andy Thomas (pun intended). If you haven’t noticed it, it reads as follows: “This is the sort of thing that only happens to you once in a lifetime.”

Now, I imagine Thomas was referring to his adventures beyond the stratosphere when he said that, but it is still relevant to us earth-dwelling students, and especially more relevant to the editors of On Dit. Being an editor of this fine magazine has been an honour and a privilege. Student magazines occupy a special place at university and they are very much the beating heart of campus culture. To be an editor of one and to see your work making its way around campus as student after student picks up a copy is humbling. This magazine and its loyal band of readers, writers, illustrators, sub editors and designers means an awful lot to me. It and they have occupied a whole year of my life, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. It has been an emotional rollercoaster, with each day bringing new challenges and the long nights proving stressful.

I wouldn’t have been able to be a part of this without the support of many others. My co-editors, our design team, and our fantastic sub-editors all deser ve thanks.

To Rhys, Rob, Kyri, Jack, and Erin: Thanks for the support and the guidance these past few months.

To have you by my side has been a continual source of badly needed re-assurance.

Finally, to Mackinley: This job involves lots of long days and late nights. I am forever indebted to you for your friendship, understanding, and counsel through them all.

In the end it was worth it. I hope you have enjoyed this volume of On Dit. I enjoyed bringing it to you.

This is it, On Dit. Goodbye.

Leighton McDonald-Stuart

F

irst off, thanks to:

Dan McLean – the MVP, and the kind of person anyone would be lucky to call a friend.

Anna Bailes, Sarah Boese, Viray Thach – the dream team of designers; it was a pleasure to work and hang with each of you. You worked tirelessly, you saved our asses, but in the end you didn’t even get to play frisbee. I feel bad about that.

Masya Zabidi – aka the third editor, the bringer of food, the Max Fischer of Adelaide University.

Lur Alghurabi, Natalie Carfora, James Lawler, Mandy Li – four incredibly talented and capable individuals. Good luck to Nat and Lur (and Celia) next year who will be taking over the reins of On Dit. Renjie Du – for the opportunity, and all the laughs in English tutes over the years.

Now, I’m aware I don’t nor mally discuss anything of great importance. Many of you are of the opinion I screw around too much and don’t take anything seriously. I’ll admit I was tempted to make a joke out of this; drawnout clichés and long-winded goodbyes aren’t especially appealing to anyone. If anything though, I would say that this year was rare, and at the end I would look at my kingdom, finally there, to sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air. Enjoy the Dit in your hands one last time (at least for this year), I know I will, Very much, And then some, Daniel Millbur n

www.facebook.com/onditmagazine

3

WHAT’S ON + NEWS: Student Exams November 7th - 20th

Semester 2 Results December 4th

Need we say more?

Adelaide University

An Open & Shut Case?

Union Board Selection

A celebration of 40 years of gay law reform in South Australia

October 28th When:

Until November 8th

5:30pm Where:

The directors of the Adelaide University Union will meet to elect a President for 2016. How exciting! It looks like a contest between Adi Rai, Renjie Du, and Rhys Williams.

Melbourne Cup November 3rd

State Librar y of South Australia

An exhibition at the State Library commemorates the 40th anniversary of decriminalization of homosexuality in South Australia. This refor m was trig gered by the murder of Adelaide University law professor, Dr George Duncan in 1972.

The exhibition aims to analyse the events leading up to refor m as well as detailing attitudes towards homosexuality in the 19th and 20th century.

The race that stops the nation!

Japanese Film Festival October 20th - November 8th Where: Cost:

Mercur y Cinema $15.50 per film ( C o n c e s s i o n E a r l y B i r d T i cke t s )

The Adelaide program of the Japanese Film Festival will feature 11 of the best films in Japanese cinema.

See more at: http://mercur ycinema.org.au/ 4

On Dit Magazine Issue 83.12

O CT 27th TO NOV 8th Boutique Beer and Bubbles November 7th Time: Where: Cost:

1pm-6pm Mercur y Cinema $35

The East End of Adelaide will play host to the very first ‘Boutique Beer and Bubbles’ event, which aims to showcase the best local craft beer and sparkling wines.

Adelaide Mini Comic Convention October 31st - November 1st Time: Where:

10am - 3pm each day.

Flinders Street Market

Come in fancy Halloween dress to Adelaide’s newest and smallest comic convention. There’ll be stalls run by local comic writers as well as toy makers, illustrators and creators. The event aims to encourage beginners as well as grass roots creators.

www.facebook.com/onditmagazine

5

AU U C O L U M N Rachel Phillips, AUU Vice -President

Yes it’s a new face! My name is Rachel Phillips and I am the Vice-President of the Union.

The last edition of On Dit is upon us and that only means one thing: exams are coming! That dreaded time of sitting in a concrete shed and late night last minute cramming has arrived. Just like all of you hardworking and dedicated students, I too will be trekking out to the showgrounds to see how much I can speedily write in 3 hours.

While I have not mastered the art of ‘studenting’ myself, there are many outlets available on campus to help us dig out of the hole that is the end of semester. While I’m sure we would all love to be at the beach working on our summer tans, the reality is that the majority of us will be crying in corners of the Barr Smith chomping on Cadbury and sipping away at your choice of liquid study companion. (You may realise very quickly, food features in most aspects of my life.) Personally, I enjoy my chocolate, but frozen berries do partner nicely.

In saying that, with exams and stressful times ahead, it is important for everyone to keep up the nutritious intake. To foster this, Student Care runs a free breakfast on Tuesday and Thursday mornings. This is open for everyone and it’s not just about the food (although we all love some free food). There is also the chance to meet new people and maybe vent about your last assignment with someone who probably feels the same. It’s also a crucial way for students who are financially strug gling to make sure they get their most important meal of the day.

6

On Dit Magazine Issue 83.12

It’s important to find avenues to de-stress during the weeks leading up to exams. Some people enjoy going for long walks or watching a movie, or taking a good old power nap (which, I personally recommend). However, when you feel the world coming to an end, there are various ser vices on campus to help you through. The Union’s Student Care ser vice has Education and Welfare Officers who can help you with academic and welfare issues, while the Counselling Ser vice is always available for chats, support and advice. You can make an appointment with them or visit their drop-in ser vice between 1pm-4pm.

So bon voyage 2015 academic year! Best of luck for your exams and final assignments, remember to support your friends, practice self-care, get sleep and stock up on Nutella.

auu.org.au twitter.com/UnionAUU

f

facebook.com/adelaideuniversityunion instagram.com/adelaideuniversityunion

S RC C O L U M N Renjie Du, President of the SRC

Hey all. How time files. Now it comes to my last column as your SRC president. This is a super busy time of the year; it could also be an extremely stressful period. I would like to spend my last column sharing with you some thoughts on mental health.

Stress is the feeling of being under too much emotional pressure. Pressure turns into stress when you feel unable to cope. People have different ways to reacting stress, so a situation that feels stressful to one person may be motivating to someone else.

Many of life’s demands can cause stress, particularly studying, work, relationships and money problems.

And, when you feel stressed, it can get in the way of sorting out these demands, or can even affect everything you do.

Stress can affect how you feel, think, behave and how your body works. Common signs of stress include sleeping problems, sweating, loss of appetite and difficulty concentrating. You may feel anxious, irritable or low in self-esteem, and you may have racing thoughts, worry constantly or go over things in your head. You may notice that you lose your temper more easily, drink more or act unreasonably. You may also experience headaches, muscle tension or pain, or dizziness.

Stress causes a surge of hor mones in your body.

These stress hor mones are released to enable you to deal with pressures or threats — the so-called “fight or flight” response.

Once the pressure or threat has passed, your stress hor mone levels will usually return to nor mal.

However, if you’re constantly under stress, these hor mones will remain in your body, leading to the symptoms of stress.

There is no quick-fix cure for stress, and no single method will method will work for everyone.

And I would like to mention that it is okay to not be okay. You are not alone: Australian Institute of Health and Welfare estimates that over 45 per cent of Australians aged 16-85 will experience a common mental health-related condition such as depression, anxiety, or a substance use disorder in their lifetime.

Things you can do to address stress including doing physical activities, which can get you in the right state of mind to be able to identify the causes of your stress and find a solution. Talking things through with a friend with also help you find solutions to your stress problems. Don’t rely on alcohol. smoking and caffeine as your ways of coping.

Whenever you feel down, the counseling ser vice is free, confidential and available to all enrolled students seeking to address issues that may be affecting their study and life. The ser vice is at Ground Floor, Horace Lamb Building.

The Student Care Office also offers confidential drop-in, phone and email assistance. The team at Student Care will support you in relation to any issue with any issue that is directly or indirectly impacting your ability to study successfully and may include a wide range of difficulties or concerns.

Student Care is committed to assisting you in whatever way possible to support your academic success. To make an appointment, you can email studentcare@adelaide.edu.au In the end, I hope you all enjoyed the academic year 2015 and good luck to you with your assignments and exams!

www.facebook.com/onditmagazine

7

LETTERS TO T H E E D I TO R Dear On Dit, Congratulations on a great year for this great publication. I have picked up every issue this year and it has never ceased to disappoint, particularly in presenting a wider range of views than previous years. A particular highlight was Vicki Griffin’s account of “Finding Love in a Bar” (Elle Dit 83.7). It made me sure of my decision to avoid real-world social contact at all costs.

Strangely, the losing candidates in the elections for Volume 83 had us believe that the magazine would turn into our very own Daily Telegraph. Yet by the most recent student elections, one of those editors had changed his tune. On Dit was now too boring. Their dummy-spit after the election (noted by Leighton in ‘Student Elections After math’, On Dit 83.10) made it clear that this magazine will be better ser ved by just about anyone else.

It has been a pleasure contributing to the magazine throughout the year, but I must make peace with one of my articles: Is Ig g y Azalea allowed to be black? (On Dit 83.1).

The left-wing contingent of Adelaide students were certainly anything but bored at the time. One student set the magazine on fire and shared the photos on Tumblr. In countless reblogs, I was branded an evil racist. Sarah Belet wrote a lengthy response in On Dit 83.2, and I earned a shout out in Off Dit as a “disgruntled twenty-something” and a “complete fuckwit”. None of these people ever approached me in person.

To write the most controversial article of the year is no small feat, particularly when Cory Bernadi also joined this magazine’s pages.

Since then, several friends of mine have spoken to me on the issues with the way I presented my thoughts and the politics of race I dealt with in the article. It is clear to me now that I was wrong to dismiss cultural appropriation as “pathetic”. My article failed to look at Ig g y Azalea’s own overt racism and the disadvantage that African Americans have faced. No matter how catchy “Fancy” is, I cannot stand by the opinion presented in that article.

It is only through constructive conversations that I have properly thought about what I wrote. Effective political advocates do not divide. They find common ground. I hope this is a lesson that both sides of student politics take from the year of On Dit that has been, and I wish Lur, Natalie and Celia all the best in 2016.

Taylor Rundell

8

On Dit Magazine Issue 83.12

L E T T E R F RO M A NIGERIAN PRINCE From: Nigerian_Prince@Legit.com To: All Adelaide University Students; On Dit Editors; CC: Andre Bemmer Subject: *URGENT REPLY NEEDED!!!!*

Dear Sir or Madam from the University of Adelaide, I am HRH Tabbot Mthatcher, Nigerian national and the rightful heir to the Nigerian throne. My country has been plagued by the Communist Insurgency Group who have garnered significant support and have managed to raise a paramilitary force that is far stronger than the state forces. I am currently being held hostage with my third wife by the Communist leaders in the Nigerian capital Abuja, where I have heard rumours that they plan to execute me for my conser vative stance. I am particularly against homosexuality as I hold very highly the values of the true religion of Catholicism.

Fortunately for me, my mistress knows of a sympathiser who is willing to help me escape from my captivity and ultimately this country. I plan to make my way to Australia from here because I hear that you people are very conser vative, and I feel that my stance on homosexuality will be widely welcomed there (although I may have to reconsider due to your recent change of leadership).

However I need your help. I must transfer all of my money from The Bebbington Bank into your account until I am able to make my way to Australia.

I need to transfer a total of $100 million (USD).

Once I reach Australia, I will divide up the money accordingly: At the conclusion I will reward you by giving you a total of 30% of the $100 million USD; 5% will go towards expenses we may incur during the transition; another 5% will go to the Australian border security so as to guarantee entry for myself; the remaining 60% will go back to me. If you help me through this you can use this money to lower your student debt or you can blow it all on gambling and cigars –whichever takes your fancy.

Please send your bank details to Nigerian_Prince@Legit.com so I can execute the transaction.

I am looking forward to your prompt response,

HRH Tabbot Mthatcher

www.facebook.com/onditmagazine

9

One Ticket t o

Mars, Ple as e Author: Thomas Cernov

As another university year comes to an end, you retur n your books to their shelves and swap your favourite study spot with the beach. If you’re lucky, you might find yourself leaving Adelaide for the summer.

A camping trip? Going to Europe? How about … Mars?

Maybe it will give us a new perspective.

Sadly, not just yet. We’ll definitely get there one day – we’ll need to get there one day. But why would we ever want to go to Mars? I mean, it’s just another barren planet millions of kilometres from Earth. Well, it turns out there are a lot of reasons.

Finally, there’s the science. I think we need to settle it once and for all: is there life on Mars?

Politically, any mission to Mars is likely to be so technically challenging and costly that international cooperation is probably going to be required – not to mention the question: who owns Mars? The race to colonise it means that space law will become very important. There’s always the possibility that a successful mission to Mars could pave the way to greater political functionality here on Earth too.

Technologically, a mission to Mars will benefit the whole of mankind. We’ll need to find ways to produce enough food, live on Mars and, of course, sur vive the journey. The new technologies that will enable us to do this will have ‘spin-offs’ bringing new products to our everyday lives.

Before you turn the page, there is legitimacy to this.

Whilst it’s most probably not going to be strange creatures walking around, NASA did announce a few weeks ago that they have evidence for liquid water on Mars, and this is a very promising start.

The presence of dark streaks on Mars’ surface that appear to darken and flow depending on the season has been a case for interpretation, with some scientists believing they were caused by material moving around on the surface, and others pointing to water. Recently, Lujendra Ojha from the Georgia Institute of Technolog y and his team used the NASA Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter Spacecraft and the scientific instruments on board to collect and analyse data from these dark streaks.

What they found and subsequently published is incredible.

By using a spectrometer and camera, they were able to collect data that showed that the chemical composition of these dark streaks contained hydrated salts. For the chemistry kids out there, they detected sodium perchlorate, magnesium perchlorate, and magnesium chlorate in the streaks.

For everyone else (myself included – chemistry was just never for me), these salts reduce the freezing temperature of water so that it could flow. The fact that these salts had water molecules in their structure is extremely strong evidence that they were deposited by flowing water. However,

10 On Dit Magazine Issue 83.12

NASA did announce a few weeks ago that they have evidence for liquid water on Mars, and this is a very promising start.

NASA isn’t entirely sure where the water is coming from. The salts can absorb water vapour from the atmosphere to create a water flow, so this is one possible explanation. Or is the ice on Mars melting?

The announcement of evidence of liquid water on Mars might not sound all that incredible; I mean, it’s only water, and it’s not as if it’s in the for m of oceans or lakes. If it doesn’t sound incredible, then don’t worry – just think of it like this: on Earth, there is generally always one thing that follows water, one thing that we always seem to find near water, and one thing that needs it to sur vive. That thing is life.

So what’s the next step? Well, we need to continue the search for life. We have evidence for liquid water on Mars, and we know from experiments perfor med by the NASA Curiosity rover (a carsized robot driving around Mars with lots of scientific equipment) that Mars had lakes and rivers around 3.3 billion years ago. So whilst the possibility of present life on Mars is small, there’s a real chance that it could have existed in the past, when Mars was more habitable.

to Mars and colonise it. Whilst they’re still working on how exactly they will do this, they’ll start flying astronauts to the International Space Station from 2017 onwards under a contract from NASA. There’s plenty of interest to go to Mars, but what would it actually involve? Manning a mission to Mars and then setting up a colony is no small feat, and many problems appear as soon as the details are examined. Perhaps the most important issue is the health effects, assuming that the engineering technolog y could be developed if enough money was committed.

Radiation might be the big gest concern. In space, astronauts would be completely exposed to cosmic radiation – as a result, they would be ‘fried’. Then there’s the problem of food and water; if you’ve seen The Martian, it’ll be evident to you that growing food on Mars is no easy task, especially if you’re the first group of people there. We would have to take everything with us until we could develop some agriculture indoors on Mars.

How about sending astronauts to Mars? On the one hand, it’s a far-fetched idea; the last time we sent astronauts to the moon was with Apollo 17 in 1972 – that’s over 40 years ago! But on the other hand, there are plenty of organisations that know it’s possible, and won’t take no for an answer.

NASA wants to put humans on Mars sometime in the 2030s, Mars One wants their first crew to land on the red planet in 2027, and then there’s Elon Musk.

If we could somehow transfor m Mars into a more habitable planet, it would be much easier for us; we wouldn’t need to live in confined spaces. And we can transfor m it! It’s called terrafor ming – changing Mars from the hostile planet that it is to a more Earth-like one. To achieve this, we would need to release significant amounts of greenhouse gases into the atmosphere to raise the surface temperature – similar to global war ming on Earth, except we’d be making Mars habitable. The only problem is that this process would take decades at the very least, so our best shot at the moment lies with NASA and SpaceX.

If there’s one man who’s on a mission to save humanity, it’s Elon Musk. He’s the entrepreneur behind Tesla Motors and SpaceX. Through SpaceX, Elon has made it his personal goal to take humanity

Whilst we won’t be departing to Mars any time soon, we’ll get there one day. Who knows – if you decide to become an astronaut, maybe you’ll be the first person to walk on Mars.

www.facebook.com/onditmagazine 11

My Name Is ( “ My N a m e I s ” b y E m i n e m ) Author: Andy Beemer Hi! My name is (what?)

My name is (who?)

My name is ‘Dre Bemmer Hi! My name is (huh?)

My name is (what) My name is ‘Dre Bemmer Excuse me!

Can I have the attention of the eds, for one second Hi guys! Let me clean the slate Wanna see me bash your head if you get my name wrong again mate?

Wanna spell my name incorrectly and make me more irate?

Misspelling my name twice, forever known as On Dit Gate It’s not ideal, allow me to give you the spiel Spelling my name wrong twice in a row is just unreal Devastated, Man I thought this mag had eds?

Bet now they’ve turned red, bags pack and fled Well since aged twelve, I’ve been called something else Like my sport trophies on the shelves, and stuff from Santa’s elves I’m pissed off that it makes me want to just scoff And their silly editorial pics with cheesy smiles like Dave Hasselhoff It really is not that hard to go and omit the R But you’re still my mate so go thank your lucky stars C’mon Dans, Lei Lei, my name really isn’t that hard So don’t be a schmuck, misspelling names like a retard!

Hi! My name is (what?)

My name is (who?)

My name is ‘Dre Bemmer Hi! My name is (huh?)

My name is (what) My name is John Cena

Apology from Edtiors: We are indubitably sorry to Grace Denney whose article “Embrace Your Inner Dic: How to Rule Campus” (83.11) was attributed to Grace without a surname; and to Andre Bremmer Bemmer, whose name we will remember for the rest of our lives.

12 On Dit Magazine Issue 83.12

R OTT E N

THE LEGACY OF ROBERT BARR SMITH Author: J ack Crawford In response to “The Legacy Of Robert Barr Smith” by Gus Crouch (On Dit 83.11)

I found it incredibly bizarre to open a student magazine and find a sycophantic article about members of the business class of colonial South Australia. On the other hand, however, it is unsurprising that Robert Barr Smith can be romanticised far more easily than other candidates.

This is thanks to a common argument that the philanthropy and goodwill of rich figures is essential to the achievement of true prosperity in society. A modern equivalent of the idealised philanthropist figure is Bill Gates. In the case of Barr Smith, a legacy among Adelaide Uni students is sustained and characterised by the name of the Barr Smith Library, to which he donated £9000 to buy books. However, there is always a second side to this kind of history.

Barr Smith is known to have developed his incredible fortune through pastoralism, having owned massive swathes of land (stolen Aboriginal land, of course) in South Australia, Victoria, New South Wales and Queensland. The focus of this article, however, will be on the Moonta and Wallaroo mines, over which Barr Smith (and fellow pastoralists Thomas Elder and Walter Hughes) gained directorship through Elders Smith and Company. In the six months before March 1864, the Moonta mine showed a fat profit of £32,370 and paid handsome dividends to shareholders.

Barr Smith and his fellow mine directors were happy to reap these profits without showing the slightest concern for the welfare of mine workers.

Miners at both Moonta and Wallaroo made very low wages, and were subject to constant harassment from super visors. These super visors were known to practice abusive and demeaning techniques of discipline, such as yanking the beards of workers.

Naturally, these workers strug gled to conceive of Barr Smith’s “philanthropy” in the same way that some do today.

cruel but of workers resisting their cruelty: brave strikes broke out among the thousands employed at Moonta and Wallaroo. The miners at Wallaroo stopped work immediately upon hearing of their workmates’ firing and marched to Moonta. There a joint meeting decided to stop work, demanding the reinstatement of the miners, increased wages and the replacement of bully super visors. The next day the miners marched in a joint demonstration to Wallaroo Bay to request solidarity from the smelters, which they promptly received.

Barr Smith and his cronies initially refused to meet the miners’ demands. However, the miners sustained their strike for weeks, which was organised by daily meetings of miners in the workplaces themselves. Only when the profits dried up did the anxious directors promise to address workers’ demands and remove abusive super visors. The miners returned to work having won better living conditions through their own daring strug gle, not through the kind-heartedness of Barr Smith.

The point of visiting this history is to convey that the great wealth of South Australian society should not evoke thankfulness to people like Barr Smith, but to those who actually laboured to produce it. Barr Smith was brilliant only as a cold, calculated profit-maker. He was content to have men and children as young as 10 working in his mines, paid almost nothing, and working in dangerous conditions with abusive super visors and public flog gings. After death he has libraries, buildings and lawns named after him, because of the supposed “philanthropy” of him and his son.

The donated money rests on the blood and sweat of workers.

After Easter of 1864, workers were fired from both mines for taking Easter Monday off work. Luckily, this is not only a history of rich people being

www.facebook.com/onditmagazine 13

TOKYO RAGE Author: J ames Lawl er, subeditor-at-large But Japan doesn’t think so. Opinion polls have shown the vast majority of Japan’s citizens oppose the new laws, which many believe violate both Japan’s pacifistic constitution and the popular will, and could risk ensnaring the country in another bloody war.

JAPAN’S GOING TO WAR. Or at least that’s what everyone’s afraid of.

In recent months, the nor mally-sedate streets of Tokyo have been rocked by conser vative Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe and the ruling Liberal Democratic Party’s attempt to fundamentally alter Japanese military policy.

WHAT’S GOING ON? After Japan’s catastrophic defeat in the Second World War, the American-led occupation force rewrote the country’s constitution to prevent Japan from ever waging war again. Article Nine of the Japanese constitution forbids “the threat or use of force as a means of solving international disputes”, and bans the creation of any Japanese ar med forces.

Prime Minister Abe, a staunch nationalist, this year launched an attempt to further legislatively re-interpret Japan’s constitution to allow for “collective self-defence” – this is the ability for Japan’s Self-Defence Forces to internationally undertake combat missions in defence of Japan’s allies, rather than merely Japan itself. The legislation stipulates that such actions can only be taken if an enemy attack also indirectly poses a threat to Japan itself, with Abe citing the defence of a US ship evacuating Japanese citizens from a conflict zone as an example.

14 On Dit Magazine Issue 83.12

Thus, while the LDP’s legislative majority rammed the laws through on September 19th amid physical scuffles on the parliamentary floor (check the Youtube video, it’s great), they’ve also been accompanied by thousands of protesters marching across the country, demanding the repeal of the laws and the resignation of the Abe government.

安倍は辞めろう A rally and protest march were slated for October 2nd in Hibiya Park, right in the heart of Tokyo and not far from the Diet, Japan’s parliament.

Organisers claimed a previous rally had drawn a whopping 120,000 people, and I needed to know whether people had maintained the rage.

I got there at about 6.30pm, just as the demonstration was scheduled to start, and was met by a long, snaking line of people waiting to enter the main rally auditorium. There were an incredible array of luminously-coloured flags and posters.

Some called for the Abe government’s resignation, others for an end to war; another one that simply read “NO”. I joined the slow-moving queue, only to be turned away just as I reached the entrance; apparently they’d hit the safe capacity of 3,000.

Undeterred, I summoned my meagre athletic reser ves to haul myself into an adjacent tree, from where I had a good view all the way to the auditorium stage. A few older, more portly men unsuccessfully attempted the same with a neighbouring tree; every so often there was a dull thump as one attempted to climb up, only to unceremoniously slide back down.

As your crack correspondent, I of course understood virtually nothing that was said, other than an occasional “We don’t need Abe!”. But that was the unifying theme of the rally, which

the line, a youth rap group led another segment of protestors, spitting anti-Abe lyrics from atop a flatbed truck. The atmosphere was electric.

included speakers not only from the anti-security bill movement, but also from the anti-nuclear movement, the anti-US military base movement, and the anti-Trans Pacific Partnership movement.

The protest’s executive committee itself was made up of twenty-three separate organisations.

While the security bills remained the main focus, all the key grievances in Japanese civil society had coalesced into one angry mob with one clear message: get Abe out.

Just as the rally was winding up, I heard sounds coming from outside the park. I ran out just in time to catch the main event – a seemingly-endless column of flag-waving protestors, stretching as far as the eye could see, preparing to march down the middle of the city’s Ginza shopping district. Police were everywhere: not to contain unruly marchers (for, this being Japan, there were none) but to stop the crowd from spilling across the entire road.

With a crackle of noise from a megaphone, the march began, bellowing anti-war slogans as it ponderously weaved between Tokyo skyscrapers.

At its head was a bohemian brass marching band, led by a tiny, flag-twirling girl who danced and twirled across down the street with a lithe grace and a Cheshire Cat grin. Behind them walked the speakers from the rally, solemnly carrying a “SMASH FASCISM – ABE OUT” banner, followed by a never-ending stream of protestors chanting Abe wa yamerou, meaning “Abe, quit!”, and sensou hantai, translating to “No war.” While a few marchers met the radical-leftist stereotype, most were simply older, ordinary-looking people, who’d finished their regular day at the office or at home before heading into town to call for the government’s head.

Pedestrians stopped on the streets and peered down from high-rise offices, snapping photos on smartphones as the procession marched on.

Many quietly clapped or raised fists in solidarity with the marchers, reflecting the massive popular discontent with the security laws. Further down

And then suddenly it was over. I found myself standing next to the lead protest trucks, which were pulled up on the side of the road. People were milling about, swapping stories and taking photos before heading off to catch the train home.

The pixie bandleader from before wandered past me blank-faced, her previous energ y dissipated.

There’d be no stor ming of the Diet, no charging through a wall of riot police to drag Abe out by his shirt collar and face mob justice. It was finished.

At a loss, I meandered off into the narrow streets in search of dumplings. Behind me, more groups of protestors continued to trundle their way to the finish line; they were still arriving when I walked past an hour later.

The organisers later put the attendance at 20,000.

This was a quiet night, but only when matched against the numerous massive rallies which had been occurring across the country. By comparison, Sydney’s 2014 “March in March” rally, the largest of the much-feted anti-Abbott protests, only drew 12,000 people.

But the anger remains in Japan, even if unseen.

A few weeks later, I was speaking with a couple of Japanese students when the topic moved onto the security bills. Both were adamantly against the laws; even the notion of Japan’s defence forces

being use for humanitarian missions, such as fighting ISIS in Syria, was too much. Japan’s past was too strong, they said; they couldn’t risk even the slightest chance it could happen again.

Abe may have passed his laws, but Japan remains against him. Bright banners, bawling megaphones and wailing trumpets will continue to march down Tokyo’s neon-drenched boulevards – perhaps for as long as it takes. www.facebook.com/onditmagazine 15

A PLEA Author: Justin Free McCulloch

POETRY PERPETUALLY SAD Author: Lesl e y Hancock Perpetually sad Forever broken How can time heal This wound that is open If what has left me in this injured state Continues to wound me day after day.

Love doesn’t die when you lay them to rest.

It leaves a gaping hole in the middle of your chest.

Every breath hurts.

It doesn’t go away.

You just learn to live with it day after day.

At first you wonder how you’ll sur vive But soon discover one minute at a time.

And as those minutes link up and bond You’ll find that life starts getting on.

You’ll want to stop it, go back, rewind To a place in your memory that you find Before the casket, flowers and call To the days you felt no sadness at all.

It doesn’t stop, but it does get better.

Or at least I’ve been told, so I’m hoping to get there.

But time doesn’t heal This wound cannot close For the love that’s still in there continues to grow.

16 On Dit Magazine Issue 83.12

I am not a human.

Introvert on Zoloft, life is going quickly.

I just think “fuck it, I’m living on borrowed time anyway.”

The worst part of it is I’m not afraid of dying, I am afraid of failing.

Unexplainable feelings.

Feeling disconnected to my life?

Why am I thinking about suicide?

Wondering if tonight is the night.

I feel like it’s time to go.

I feel like I can’t achieve anything.

Sitting on a four-story roof wondering if I’d regret falling once I was in the air.

I nearly did it and I’m scared.

Intrusive thoughts, I can’t take them anymore…

I am freaking out and have no one to talk to.

Need some reassurance, can I just talk to someone? Please?

Every line of this poem is taken from the titl e of a post from mental health discussion boards.

45.5 per cent of Australians experience poor mental health sometime in their lives. One in five Australians are suffering from poor mental health now. In the last census data, the avera ge number of deaths due to suicide per year was 2,641.

Th at’s 4.6 million Australians who shouldn’t h ave to suffer. Th at’s 2,614 lives lost per year th at shouldn't h ave been.

Everyone knows someone who’s affected with poor mental health, and it’s becoming a very serious issue in today’s world. If you feel like you need some help, don’t be afraid to ask someone! Tell a loved one how you feel; ask a classmate to get coffee with you after class.

You shouldn’t h ave to be alone, and you never will be. http:www.beyondblue.org.au/ - 1300 22 4636 University of Adelaide - Disablity Service 8313 5962 - disability@adelaide.edu.au Ground Floor, Horace Lamb Building

HOW LANGUAGE

W RKS Author: Luca Ricci

I often wonder how we’d cope without languages.

How would we communicate our own thoughts, intentions and emotions? Even though we don’t often acknowledge it, we must admit that the action of speaking is pretty awesome. We put together sounds to convey a message. The recipient receives the message, and elaborates it to extrapolate a meaning. I find it quite fascinating.

However, languages, just like humankind, does not remain unaltered. They are constantly on the move: sounds and grammar change, meaning is constantly altered. Sometimes, languages even die out. Just to show how complex and paradoxical this process might be, I will write about the story of a peculiar language: Latin.

As someone who’s been studying Latin for a few years, I always get the remark “Why do you study it? It’s a dead language.”

As someone who’s been studying Latin for a few years, I always get the remark “Why do you study it? It’s a dead language.” Well, that’s true. I suppose no one goes around in togas reciting orations.

However, we should be aware that Latin did not completely die out. Even though it might not be spoken today, there are still plenty of occasions when we use it. Any law student would be able to tell you the difference between mens rea and

actus reus. The Romans’ influence in jurisprudence (and many other things) was so preponderant that it still lives today through those small expressions.

And let us not even consider the huge amount of latinate expressions (such as veni, vidi, vici and et cetera) that we frequently use, either to impress someone or to convince ourselves of our genius.

At this point, someone might rightly object saying that these ter ms do not constitute a language. We don’t need Latin to know what they mean. That’s indeed true. What about our own languages?

Since the Romans conquered most of Europe, their language was surely going to impact on the areas of dominance. That is why the group of “Romance” idioms is thought to derive from Latin. Of course, I’m not talking about a few similar words. Instead, I am referring to the broader linguistic structure.

Latin is at the core of Italian, French, Spanish, Portuguese and Romanian. Their grammatical structure and syntax has been heavily infor med by Latin to the extent that we can recognise similar patterns. Thus, while many people constantly refer to Latin as a dead language, I would rather call it a transitory language. We see how this works even in modern idioms. Shakespearean English is not identical to current English. It is only after a long period of time that we realise how languages have changed. However, the process is not instantaneous. Instead, it occurs through slow phases, which might take even centuries to complete. As we see in Europe, for instance, the transition from Latin to the modern languages was completed only after 1000 years or so. Latin, therefore, is nothing else than an initial phase of a linguistic evolution, which we are still living today.

www.facebook.com/onditmagazine 17

letters

to the world’s

dictators Author: Mas ya Zabidi

k im m y, k im m y, o h

tle ab ou t yo ur We kn ow so lit t? ar st to re he W St or ie s fr om le ss ab ou t yo u. co un tr y an d ev en rs ty, sin ist er al a bl oo dt hi Py on g ya ng re ve to fa m ish ed e hi s un cl e liv d fe o wh nt ty ra ca us e th e fe w ca n’ t be tr ue be do gs. Su re ly th is a lo va bl e, so ft Le ad er su g ge st ph ot os of D ea r m ili ta ry su its r th an af fin ity fo m ar sh m al lo w wi ba ttl es. y an in no t fo ug ht de sp ite ha vi ng co un tr y fa ce d ed ia re po rt s a Th e le ft wi ng m n. I be g to on an d st ar va tio wi th m al nu tr iti at ed by th e ul rc e ph ot os ci th e us ca be er di ff N ew s Ag en cy K or ea n Ce nt ra l cl ea rly un bi as ed pa ss io na te ly jo yo us ly an d sh ow a pe op le e I sa w th is tim y. Th e la st m im K on g rin ch ee at th e Pa la ce ad m ira tio n wa s m uc h lo ve an d sh ow ed hi s ha el Fa ss be nd er N ov a wh en M ic m e ki nd of sa Sh am e. It ’s th e gl or io us ju nk in t. lo ve an d re sp ec r th e lo vi ng u ke ep it re al fo H er e’s ho pi ng yo m as se s xx

18 On Dit Magazine Issue 83.12

Artis t: Emil y Hart

vl ad, Ho w is it po ss ib le th at yo u ha ve tra ns iti on ed so su cc es sfu lly fro m su r viv in g th e bl ea kn es s of th e So vie t Un io n to th riv in g in a pr oca pi tal ist Ru ss ia? ?

Ea sy : yo ur ma gn eti c, se xu al ch ar ism a. Sc re w pr og re ss ive ec on om ic an d fo re ign po lic ies or ch es tra ted by bu re au cr ats.

Th is wa s all YO U. Th e pe op le ne ed ed a str on g lea de r an d yo u en ter ed ba re ba ck an d to pl es s on a ma re . Yo ur ph ys ica l pr ow es s kn ow s no bo un ds , fro m yo ur ab ili tie s to de fe at Ru ss ia’s na tio na l jud o ch am pi on , to sw im mi ng wi th en da ng er ed do lp hi ns th at yo u su bs eq ue nt ly (al leg ed ly) als o ha d fo r di nn er.

Po lli ng sh ou ld clo se fo r Pe op le’s ma ga zin e 20 15 ‘Se xie st M an Al ive ’ as th e cle ar wi nn er by a mi le wi ll be Vl ad th e ra d xx x

dea rest bibi , Your addres s at the recent United Nation s Gener al Assem bly where you deride d Ameri ca’s nuclea r agreem ent with Iran had me breath ing heavil y at my dial up modem power ed PC. You critici sed the rest of the world for respon ding to Israel’s misfor tune with “deafe ning silenc e” and empha sised your point with a silent 45-sec ond staring contes t with the other foreig n delega tes in the hallow ed hall. Betwe en this specta cular scene and Rober t Mugab e’s claim “we are not gays”, you made this GA one for the ages.

Closer to home, errant Palest inian childr en throw rocks at your Israeli Defen ce Force soldie rs. The lack of respec t these youths have for the men in green more than warran ts the treatm ent you dish out at them. It’s puzzli ng that more countr ies don’t lock up kids for insulti ng men of author ity.

Here’s to you and your steadf ast ways xx

he y bo o,

tion s from you r It seem s like you take inst ruc too if I had a ld wou I craz y, scar y wife , but mes han dba g.

Her ned skin ile cod face like a cro face and not I get it, you ’re tryi ng to safe was 1M DB, that up adm it to the mas sive fuck righ t. gs thin e mak to but it’s not too late Jho Low, the real Thi s is wha t you do: blam e wha t? BLA ME per petr ator ; or you kno w ed the hug ely anis org TH E CH INE SE. You in Chi nato wn ies rall e” Prid lay suc cess ful “Ma ’re doi ng a gre at in Sep tem ber , so I’d say you tly (un edu cate d) mos job of dist ract ing the at the min orit y out lash Mal ay mas ses to Chi nes e bus ines s own ers. mou stac he xxx Kee p gro win g that Hit ler- like

HUMANS OF

ADELAIDE UNIVERSITY

Kate Arts & Music

Robyn Marine Biology

1) K: In the ar ms of Hugh Jackman!

1) R: Skydiving.

2) K: Religious debate in Schulz on level 7,

2) R: Mawson, ‘question everything’.

3) K: A gossip magazine,

3) R: It’s a magazine.

4) K: a) Starting a relationship with the Asian editor of On Dit. b) Target car park up to $11

4) R: a) Living in Denmark for six months. b) The exams in the next few weeks.

5) K: My chair is my wardrobe, does that count?

5) R: Hair straightener for ironing clothes.

6) K: “Livin’ on a Prayer” – no one can sing it, so there’s no judgement.

6) R: “Let it go” from the Frozen soundtrack.

1) C: Happy.

A: In my sleep.

2) C: Hub Central, near the food court.

A: Kitchen toilets in the Hub, there is a huge picture of Blinky Bill.

3) C: Are you sure it’s not On Dit? A: A magazine.

4) C: a) Travelling to Finland to perfor m for the Australian Gymnastraeda team. b) Price of muffins in Aroma increasing A: a) Amsterdam. b) Muffin inflation.

5) C: Using a pen as a hair tie. A: Using the sandwich toasters in the student kitchen to make eg gs

Caitlin & Alex (Left to Right) Science

20 On Dit Magazine Issue 83.12

6) C: Taylor Swift.

A: INXS.

1) How do you want to die?

2) Best toilet graffiti on campus 3) What is On Dit? 4) Highlight/lowlight of this year?

5) Name an alternative us e for a hous ehold item.

6) Favourite s ong to sing along to?

1) B: I hate thinking about mortality.

2) B: Napier level one. There are some really good caricatures of Tony Abbott.

3) B: It’s what you read when you want to procrastinate.

4) B: a) New Year in Paris b) These weeks prior to exams.

5) B: A pencil as a hairpin, you never have to worry about not having a hair tie.

Brenna Law/Music/French

James, Anna, Charlie (Left to Right) Exchange 1) J: Leave it to fate. A: Peacefully in my sleep.

C: Chased off a cliff by a horde of women.

2) J: Hub next to the kitchen. A: Toilet graffiti must be less common in female toilets.

C: The Breaking Bad graffiti in Med School Sth. 3) A: On what? C: I don’t understand what you want. J: A magazine – it’s free and actually quite interesting.

4) J: a) Going to Bali and jumping in a waterfall. b) Shark tour getting cancelled. A: a) Physically coming to Australia. b) Had a report on water that was due in last week. C: a) Adelaide Hills. b) Had some heavy nights out here, I may have lost my dignity once or twice.

5) J: Phone screen for mirror. A: Cushions for killing insects. C: Laptop as a girlfriend.

6) J: “Human” by the Killers A: Whole of the Lion King soundtrack C: “Wonderwall”, it’s basically the English national anthem.

6) B: Katy Perry of any kind.

Brian Science/Biotech 1) B: Preferably of natural causes. See, I have a bet on it with my friend and if I win he has to give $50 to my next of kin.

2) B: In the basement of the library there used to be a huge web detailing who gave who a blowjob. Sadly it’s been painted over now.

3) B: It’s a magazine; I read it before class sometimes.

4) B: a) Watching a mate get bog ged about a foot deep in mud and go flying over his handlebars. b) Failing Biochem for the second time.

5) B: Using a paint scraper to shuck off tyres.

6) B: “How Deep is Your Love”. I like to sing it loud on my motorcycle, although it can get a bit strange when you’re stopped at the lights next to someone.

www.facebook.com/onditmagazine 21

top 10 songs to pl ay at your

funer al Author: Gus G. Crouch

1. The Smiths - “Asleep”

4. The xx - “Angels”

The eerie opening, mellow piano chords paired with the dulcet tones of Morrissey’s voice, The Smiths capture this ambiance of melancholy as a requiem for his own loneliness and loss. The song fills you with his solitude along with an emptiness as the listener is trapped within Morrissey’s state of despair. As my number 1, “Asleep” resonates with me in the sense of being in “the wilderness” yet being present at the same time.

Could there be a more perfect voice than Romy?

A voice so soft, raw and filled with effortless emotion. This song about unattainable love creates an air of dejection and despair, with Romy and Jamie xx proving to have a knack for emotive singles with “Loud Places” from Jamie xx’s first solo album In Colour. A song of beauty, frustration and overall sadness, it captures both the lust and frustration found with love and ultimately, loss.

2. Pink Floyd - “Brain Damage/Eclipse”

Included in what is quite possibly the best album of all time - Dark Side of the Moon - these singles with their nonsensical lyrics and inexplicable laughing track, make one of the most epic pieces of progressive rock. “The lunatic is in my head” makes you feel as if the strug gle is not in the world around Roger Waters but within his own head. This sense of a lost sanity is evident throughout both “Brain Damage” and “Eclipse”.

5. The Beatles - “Let It Be”

The words of Mother Mary’s wisdom, “let it be”. The most overplayed song in Year 9 music classes, thanks to those simple four chords needed to play the song. Behind the song’s simplicity lies a provenance of immense sadness: Lennon and McCartney wrote a piece about a dream of Paul McCartney seeing his mother once again after her passing when he was only 14.

6.

Wolfgang

Amadeus

Mozart

-

3. The Smiths - “There is a Light That

“Requiem in D Minor (K 626)”

Never Goes Out”

A piece written for his own death, Requiem in D Minor is both extremely beautiful and mysterious. Imagine writing for your own funeral! Each of the fourteen movements in the requiem capture a different feel to death and the tragedy of its occurrence. 55 minutes of dark, yet glorious music makes you appreciate Mozart a little more than “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star”.

Morrissey reveals the lengths he’d go for true love in this lusty yet heartfelt song. The chorus line “To die by your side, well the pleasure, the privilege is mine”, poetically captures the desire and desperation that accompany an all-consuming love. The sense of a deeper connection and simultaneously losing it is perfectly encapsulated in this track.

22 On Dit Magazine Issue 83.12

7. Elton John - “Candle in the Wind”

9. Andrea Bocelli - “Con Te Partiro”

“Your candle blew out long before your legend did”, sums up so many tragic deaths of friends and family taken too long before their time beckoned. The emotional pull of John and his grand piano is so strong especially in the 1997 remake for the death of Princess Diana. John’s many songs of love and loss have remained relevant to so many over the past 40 years and “Candle in the Wind” is definitely one of those.

How can you go wrong with Bocelli? The man has the voice which not only soothes the soul but brings upon raw emotion. His English-language version of the song - “Time to Say Goodbye”- is brilliant but his native Italian captures his emotion even more so. The crescendo in his voice at the back end of the song also helps to heighten the song’s sentiment.

8. Jeff Buckley - “Last Goodbye”

Much like “Candle in the Wind”, Buckley’s vocals and guitar make no effort to hide any for m of emotion. The factor of Buckley’s death not long after the release of his album Grace also adds to the sorrow filled and cutting vocals which grabbed my attention back in my early primary school days. Without the context of his death, it is a song of total beauty, with the context however, it takes it to a whole new level of saddening beauty.

10. Pink Floyd - “The Great Gig in the Sky ”

Although only number 10, it has to be the greatest instrumental piece of the 20th century. The song opens with a soundbite of Malcolm Mug geridge questioning why he should be afraid of dying, before progressing to the sensational wordless vocals of Clare Torry. It is quintessential Floyd with the listener able to reflect throughout the spinechilling vocal and synth combination.

www.facebook.com/onditmagazine 23

FLAME, DEAR FLAME Author: Jordan Vihermaki

‘Flame, dear Flame,’ I breathed, hugging the lighter to my chest.

It was a cheap thing, plastic and coloured bright red. It displeased me, to see the device that give birth to the flame so cartoonish, but I had to swallow my pride. The fire it spawned would be as pure as from a lighter of solid gold.

At that moment a gust of wind cut through me, making me shiver as the chill seeped down to my bones. A part of me wanted to abandon this whole endeavour, to go home to a war m bed and try again on a night not so cold and dark.

Pushing back the heretical thought, I gripped the lighter tighter, letting the heat of the Holy Fire fill me, burning away my weak thoughts.

Every second felt like an eternity, the shuffling footsteps growing steadily closer. I didn’t dare turn away from the road to look at him, too scared that giving him a glimpse of my face would allow him to recognise me later. Eventually he grew close enough for me to smell him; the stench of alcohol and stale sweat was exactly what I’d expect of the filth that roamed this place.

Holding my breath, the blood thundering in my ears, I shut my eyes and prayed to the Flame, letting its war mth encircle me.

All of a sudden the footsteps stopped, and for a second so did my heart, while my veins ran cold.

‘Hey, spare some change buddy?’ a voice asked in my ear, rasping from long years of smoking abuse.

If I gave up now its war mth would abandon me, flee from me and find another vessel for its holy purpose. I could not let that happen, because if it did I would confine myself to the corruption of this world, abandon my beacon in the dark.

By then my hand was clenched so tightly around the lighter I feared I would break it. Taking a deep breath I force myself to relax. I couldn’t risk insulting the Flame by damaging its most holy vessel.

Off to the side I heard the scrape of a boot on the footpath, making me start. Heart racing I stuck my hands deep into the pockets of my coat, and pulled my baseball cap down low.

‘Piss off,’ I growled, lowering my voice as far as I could.

If the Flame was kind the stranger would just see some poor sob waiting for his bus, too stupid to realise that they didn’t come to such a poor area at this time of night.

24 On Dit Magazine Issue 83.12

For a time the stranger didn’t move; instead, he just breathed down the nape of my neck, making me sweat.

‘Now get on out of here,’ I added, praying my voice wouldn’t crack. ‘Or I’ll cut your ass up.’

That seemed to do the trick, and the stranger decided I wasn’t worth it, and continued on his way, muttering insults.

It was another sign of corruption that ran to the building’s very core, but this would also be the means in which I burnt the blight to ash.

For a time I waited, glancing up and down the street, checking to make sure I wouldn’t be getting another unwanted passerby.

With a bit of tinkering I managed to get the strip of matches and the clump of tinder wedged into the centre of the mosquito coil. Positioning my makeshift fuse against the dry wood, I paused and bent my head, offering a quick prayer to the Flame.

After about thirty minutes, by which time my fingers were starting to grow numb, I was satisfied.

As I stood up I shook my legs to banish their stiffness, the pins and needles almost making me stumble as I took my first step.

Turning around I sur veyed my target, the place the Flame demanded be purified in its divine name.

It was a squat building, only a single story, identical in basic architectural design to all of the others in the street. Same brown roof, same small garden and same front porch. But where all the other copies in the street were in a decent state of repair, my target stood out like a sore thumb. The garden had long been overtaken by weeds, and the windows boarded over. Graffiti was scrawled over all of the walls and bits of exposed wood had rotted away.

The place was an affront to purity, but at the same time I could see the wisdom in the Flame for sending me this target. It was abandoned, and located in a destitute part of town. If I had to guess, it used to be public housing before it was given up as a loss. At that moment it was probably on a list in a bureaucrat’s office scheduled for demolition.

Either way, it was unlikely that the cops would put much effort into finding out who did what I was about to do. In Utopia I’d be hailed a hero, but for now I’d just hope for the day when the sacred fire engulfed the world.

In four strides I leapt over the fence and hurried my way over to the corner of the house, to where an overgrown bush would obscure me and hide my work from view.

Squatting down, I emptied my pockets: a mosquito coil, a box of disposable matches and a small pile of tinder.

Running my hands along the wooden support of the house I found a particularly deep crack that stood out amongst the chipped green paint. Giving it a tug, a portion came off, and revealed the ter mite eaten innards.

As always when I shut my eyes its glow invaded my head, its essence speaking to me from all its vessels; from the furnace of the sun, to the strike of a match.

My convictions renewed, I dug the lighter out of my pocket, and with a few flicks of the flint a new avatar was born. Touching it to the end of the mosquito coil I waited until it began to burn, before blowing it out and leaving a tiny ember.

The Flame was not suited to subtly, but its raw power was tempered by humanity’s guile.

Standing up, my legs burning from squatting for so long, I strolled down the overgrown path that ran through the garden and back towards the street.

Every muscle in my body beg ged me to run, to get away from the fuse before the heretics somehow found me. With all my will I forced that desire down, and did my best to ignore the adrenaline that ran through my veins.

The coil’s slow burn would ensure that the ember wouldn’t reach the match book for at least an hour, by which time I’d be long gone.

It was simple, but effective. Just like the Flame I ser ved.

Hopping the fence I started to walk off down the street, though not before casting one final glance back at the house.

It was cruel, not to witness the fruits of my labour, but it couldn’t be helped. If I was to carry on my duty, and burn away more blights on the world, I needed to escape the attention of the ignorant and heretics.

I knew that if I succeeded, one day the whole world would be wreathed in fire, and I too would be purged to ash, along with everyone else.

‘Flame, dear Flame.’

www.facebook.com/onditmagazine 25

PLANET OF THE ARTS WHY EVERYONE SHOULD DO A HUMANITIES DEGREE

Author: Mitchell Salt

Like a lot of articles at the moment, this one’s going to mention the U.S primaries, or the best soap opera series of the year. It’s got great scripting, interesting sets, poor acting but exciting plot developments and casting. Republican primary candidate Carly Fiorina is number three in the polls, and her biography is as interesting as her stated desire during one of the debates to show Hilary Clinton some sort of pro-life snuff film with a fetus. Despite her mixed legacy in the business world, she took to breaking glass ceilings like a literal Boss, becoming a prominent CEO and corporate figure. But her initial undergrad degree wasn’t a Bachelor of Commerce or Finance, or in business at all.

It was a BA, in subjects even I blush at how wanky and unemployable they look: Philosophy and Medieval History. But it demonstrates where someone could start with such a degree, and why people shouldn’t write some (or all) arts subjects off in ter ms of future employability. In fact, at the current rate technolog y is travelling, they may be the few left with actual jobs.

26 On Dit Magazine Issue 83.12

A report from the Oxford Martin School released in February lists the likelihood of a lot of jobs being automated in the future. The report looks at the current trends in employment and technolog y: the high risk stuff is mostly anything that could be done on a gap year or the summer break (fruit picking, dish washing, cashiers, baristas etc.). But things don’t look good for the big ger professions too, particularly in the hard sciences or civil and agricultural engineering. Architecture and drafting, avionics, optometry, environmental and health technical fields, specialties in the geosciences, chemistry and phar maceutical industries are listed as vulnerable to automation technolog y.

Business professions could also be hollowed out, with personal financial advice, accounting and auditing to be fossilised. Market research analysis and specialization could also completely go, as well as many business admin senior/junior roles.

Managerial and super visory prospects will be worse off, as well as pretty much every entry level paid position across the board, such as clerk work and many of the tasks done for internships phased out entirely.

Scary shit, how could anyone get the necessary skills and network experience in the real world for their careers without them? This would be true in law too, where the competition is already fierce for even an inch on the lowest levels of the ladder.

Relevant experience and employability will also, according to the list, be noted in the process of applying for jobs… by automated systems.

integrity at all (both 3.7%, and I’m concerned).

Across the spectrum, from spoken languages to creative writing and political science, the arts subjects have emphasis on focused articulation and broad discussion skills. They value debate, consensus building and critical abilities. Dean of the Arts at the University of Sydney Professor Duncan Ivison lists some other skills sought out in the job market that arts provide, such as ‘critical thinking, empathy, context sensitivity, intellectual breadth, creativity and imagination, analytical reasoning and flexibility’. But of course, he’s Dean of the Arts and gets paid to say that sort of thing, until they program some sort of robot to spruik arts subjects. Maybe they’ll write better articles for On Dit too, who knows?

On the other hand, and only half seriously: this cold new world of automatic broken dreams may be the job paradise of arts students certified to solve what could be a big human problem.

Psychologists will have their work cut out for them, to be sure. But the role of finding meaning in the world will also be important, and the ethics and values of how we live as well. Human decision But the rol e of making, psychological But focusing on just the finding meaning in problem solving, politics, practical benefits of the the world will also be resource distribution and arts is the wrong way human development will to go. Finding work is important, and the matter too as much as they never a good reason why ethics and values of do now, maybe more. It’d be people should do them in about effective governance, how we live as well. the first place, since they and what inspires people are something authentic to to change circumstances for life. Fareed Zakaria’s In Defence themselves and others. It’d also of a Liberal Education outlines be down to the stories we can tell to how important broad knowledge, process what’s going on around us, making clear writing, creativity and deep thinking the narratives we use to make sense of it and of are to a good and prosperous future. And our new identities. The real leaders that govern this is something enjoyed by many that do the human community have always been the people these subjects now and very much beyond the who focus on people, and the question of what it university experience. Philosophy and history means to be a person in an uncertain world. infor m us of who and what we are, where we come from and where we will go. Understanding But if the possibility of standing in line at an the news is something vital in the modern world, endless Skynet dole queue isn’t enough to sign up as well as the ability to have meaningful, deep to a subject that later helps with writing a Gothic and infor med interactions with people from novel in the long wait to see the giant red eye and different cultures and backgrounds. Friendships change your income details, there are opportunities made in these subjects last forever, and some to develop important communication skills, which familiarity with a European language doesn’t from last year’s Graduate Outlook Sur vey (GCA) are hurt in the picking-up department. highly sought after by employers. The strength of the feedback on this made effective communication For all these reasons and many more, consider (48%) more valued than work experience (19%), an arts degree. relevant qualifications (14%), technical skills (6.5%) and even being organised... or having any

www.facebook.com/onditmagazine 27

2016

Student Media

28 On Dit Magazine Issue 83.12

On Dit Authors: Natalie Carfora, Lur Alghurabi and Celia Cl ennett We’re Natalie, Lur, and Celia, studying a range of topics from Art History, Creative Writing, English, and Media. We’ve been at uni for a long time and we’ve seen a lot of student magazines, so we’ve got tons of ideas to make next year legendary.

Collectively, we have experience in writing, editing, illustrating, and discovering new talents.

We have been working with the On Dit team for a while now, and we have seen first hand how it positively changes the student experience. Being a part of the magazine has opened up a lot of doors for us, and we want to offer that opportunity to a lot more people. We want On Dit to have a fresh, multicultural perspective that speaks to the diverse student body of Adelaide Uni.

Next year we want to see lots of themed issues to give contributors the inspiration they need. We’ll bring back Hearsay, the annual creative writing special. We’ve also got lots of plans to encourage first time contributors, including regular office hours and a special mentorship program. We’ll start some bold and engaging discussions next year by featuring satire, culture and politics.

From the 2015 On Dit we really liked the pop culture edition, so that’s going to stay. We would have liked to see more illustrations, and a larger focus on talented students on campus, whether they be artists, perfor mers, scientists, or comedians.

It is really important to us that all students feel welcome to join the On Dit family, so submit something, we want to hear what you’ve got to say!

Student Radio Authors: Rob Lawry and Sophie Atkinson We’ve always had an interest in media in its various for ms. Sophie has been involved in theatre from a young age and will occasionally burst into song and dance given the opportunity. Rob’s an obscure comedy nerd who is still holding out for a DVD release of Danger Theatre (whatever that is…).

end of this year, we aim to support the presenters in every way possible by offering advice, feedback and content ideas. We’re also looking to take the students feedback into consideration and we’re looking to set up some avenue to let us hear your say.

Coming to the University of Adelaide to study media has allowed for us to further explore our passions both inside and outside the classroom.

One of our most valuable experiences by far was getting involved with student radio this year.

Through our respective programs we’ve both enjoyed the extensive creative freedom to write, produce, and perfor m our own content.

While 2015 has been a good year for programming, unfortunately a lot of people are still missing out. A big lapse that the two of us are looking to address next year is in Student Radio’s social media presence. On Dit trumps radio in in its online following and we want to be more involved in student’s online world (where you’re all spending an increasing amount of your time). This means a more integrated approach, encapsulating all program content with regular updates so listeners need not miss out on upcoming inter views, debates or satirical pieces. A great way to build on this will be to build on our physical presence around campus events. If there’s something cool happening, it figures that Student Radio should be on the scene!

The inspiration to become student radio directors came to us on a winter-school study trip to Japan.

On one fateful day in Kyoto, Sophie received a tarot card reading “predicting” the two of us would make a beneficial partnership. With our combined enthusiasm for student radio and our desire to see it run in good hands next year, campaigning for the position was a natural choice.

In 2016, we aim to keep on providing great content for students around campus. One of our first aims has been to re-instate the popular program, Left, Right and Centre to the radio lineup. Having each presented some forty-odd hours of radio by the

We’ve both had an incredible experience being involved in student radio, the opportunity to for m our own voices as talent has been invaluable. We strongly encourage anyone who is passionate and wants their voice to be heard to to apply for next year. We look forward to your applications! www.facebook.com/onditmagazine 29

WHO CARES ABOUT DEREGULATION? THE REAL ISSUE AT UNIVERSITY IS FREEDOM OF SPEECH Author: Leighton McDonald-Stuart

Universities sit at the ver y centre of our lear ned society, providing the educational base with which future generations emerge from, as well as helping to keep our society innovative, prosperous, and healthy. That they do not sit in some sort of moral or ethical vacuum means that any changes to our universities will have ripple effects into our future society -hence why the eroding of free speech at our learning institutions is so very troubling.

I do not state that freedom of speech is being eroded lightly. While we have no concrete protections when it comes to speech in this country, we do enjoy a de facto freedom of speech, with very few exceptions. This is not to say that our conversation comes without consequences; it does. It’s just that at our universities the very conversation is being shut down before anything can be said.

That conversation is being shut down in a number of ways. The first is to block debate at every turn, the second is to label something “trig gering” to some obscure minority or ter m it a “microag gression”, and the third is to simply accuse someone of being (insert noun)phobic. This realization of the limiting of speech is inherently damaging to our universities and to our society as a whole.

The classic example of a refusal to engage in a debate can be seen at Flinders University. Notable economist Bjorn Lomborg has sought to establish a branch of his Copenhagen Consensus institute at the university. Instead of welcoming a debate

30 On Dit Magazine Issue 83.12

on the merits of certain aspects of environmental and economic policy, students there have staged protests and used their student bodies to oppose this institute at all costs. In doing so they have attempted to avoid having a discussion purely because they disagree with an opposing viewpoint.

The dangers of censorship in or of academia is best exemplified by the Galileo affair, where the Catholic Church banned Galileo’s books and refused to let any person hold his heliocentric ideas.

Galileo, in a letter to Kepler, remarked “What do you have to say about the principal philosophers of this academy who are filled with the stubbornness of an asp and do not want to look at either the planets, the moon or the telescope, even though I have freely and deliberately offered them the opportunity a thousand times?”. How is Galileo’s situation at all different from that of Lomborg?

That our student bodies are now comfortable with shutting down debate that they disagree with or feel uncomfortable having is indicative of changing approaches to freedom of speech. Once, universities existed to inquire, ponder, and debate.

Today it seems they do not. Academic freedom is imperative and goes to the core of a university. One cannot challenge existing views without having the freedom to deliver an opposing argument.

This isn’t just limited to Flinders University, or to Australian universities. Notable journalist Brendan O’Neill was recently prevented by Oxford’s Christ Church from partaking in a debate on abortion, despite being a Marxist. O’Neil writes in The

Spectator that “A mob of furious feministic Oxford students, all robotically uttering the same stuff about feeling offended, set up a Facebook page littered with expletives and demands for the debate to be called off ”. It seems today’s university student is quite at home with ending any debate that they don’t agree with. Niamh McIntyre, one of those afore mentioned furious feministic Oxford students, proudly boasted in The Independent that “The idea that in a free society absolutely everything should be open to debate has a detrimental effect on marginalised groups”.

In other words, McIntyre and her cohort would rather be in a cotton-wool-wrapped world where their views are not challenged, lest it offend some ridiculous and unnamed “marginalised group”.

McIntyre contends that she “did not stifle free speech”, purely because she felt “threatened” by the presumed content. Despite what she may say, J S Mill’s Harm Principle was focused more on the physical side of things, as opposed to the “I feel offended” sort of har m.

“Feeling” brings me quite neatly onto ‘trig ger warnings’ and ‘micro-ag gressions’. Oh yes, those things. For the uninitiated, trig ger warnings are a little message at the start of a piece designed to warn prospective readers that content may trig ger a post-traumatic stress reaction, while micro-ag gressions are innocent words that are thought to have violent connotations. The trig ger warning started off as a protective device used to warn readers about discussions of rape and other associated things, but it has quickly denigrated into a tool used to ban or prevent material that some obscure minority finds emotionally unsettling. The list of things that are now seen as “trig gering” have burgeoned to include “misog yny, the death penalty, calories in a food item, terrorism, drunk driving, how much a person weighs” and many more according to feminist columnist Jill Filipovic.

Micro-ag gressions at the University of California have come to include such statements as “America is the land of opportunity” and “I believe the most qualified person should get the job.”

Now, addressing mental health issues is obviously a serious priority for our society, but this begs the question; are we going to address someone’s posttraumatic stress disorder by asking for a trig ger warning on the front page of The Great Gatsby? Are we going to help someone by burying all mentions of a particular word everywhere? Absolutely not. In reality, these trig ger warnings and microag gressions are ultimately going to restrict

freedom of speech as well as discussion on campus while leaving people with obvious mental issues untreated. Already they are limiting what books can be included on a mandatory subject reading list (Metamor phoses at Columbia, and Mrs. Dalloway at Rutgers). British sociologist Frank Furedi aptly described trig ger warnings as “unrestrained infantilisation”. He further explained; “Trig ger warnings do not simply protect people from dangerous books but also from dangerous ideas.”, and that “In a narcissistic culture where often ‘it is all about me’, the affir mation of ‘my feeling’ is sufficient to reorganise course content around it,”.

Academic blockades, trig ger warnings, and microag gressions are not the only devices that are limiting freedom of speech on campus. The attitudes of the ever increasing number of “social justice warriors” towards those who they disagree with is creating an environment that is not conducive to the exercise of speech, of free thought, and of debate. You risk being labelled “fascist scum” if you happen to be of conser vative ilk or simply opposed to communism or radical feminism. If you seek to express a view that doesn’t confor m to that espoused by the revolutionary socialist groups on campus, then you are “racist”. Don’t support gay marriage? You’re “homophobic”. Not a fan of unisex toilets? “Transphobic”. The radical left has initiated this massive smear campaign against its opponents and in doing so they have significantly shifted the threshold, at least on campus, of these ter ms. Naturally, people don’t like to be labelled as “racist” or “homophobic” and so the liberal use of these ter ms by these radicals is only shutting down speech and debate.

From my experience as an editor of a student publication it’s clear that freedom of speech is quickly coming to an end at our universities. By stifling debate, mandating trig ger warnings, and applying denigrating ter ms to those who disagree, students are seeking to end freedom of speech at our tertiary institutions and in broader society.

Students today do not come to university to have their ideas challenged or even to challenge the ideas of others, they now purely want to be wrapped up in cotton wool and comfortable in only their own beliefs.

How would Galileo get on in today’s university?

My bet is that he would be driven out by an angry horde, upset that a “cis gendered”, heterosexual white male had dared to challenge the view of an oppressed, incredulous minority without even so much as including a trig ger warning.

www.facebook.com/onditmagazine 31

Exam Annoyances Author: Matthew Sclauzero

The end of the academic year is fast approaching and coming with it is the dreaded fortnight of exams. Newer students may be overwhelmed by the sheer volume of assignments, readings and tests scheduled for the final week of the semester.

Some of your more adventurous lecturers may even be setting deadlines during revision week, an affront you may not notice because you’re too focused on the four consecutive tests scheduled for next Tuesday, or you’re too busy with your social life to care.

However insur mountable the next few weeks may seem, take it from a bitter fourth year that you will pull through. I have found that the best method for dealing with this stress is to channel all your anger towards a single target. Year after year, exams as a concept have been that target.

So let’s begin: Exam Schedules These are always released way too late in the semester. There’s no chance of booking those cheap holiday flights as you’ll never know whether your exams will be spread across two days or two weeks.

Exam Venues Always overdress. Experienced students will be ready for this but you’d never think that a room filled with so many students could reach such chilling temperatures. If it’s winter it’s probably 12°C outside, you’re only wearing a thin jumper and there’s still another 2 hours and 30 minutes to go before you can stand up and shake off those icicles. If it’s summer you probably chose to wear shorts and a t-shirt, only to be seated 10 feet below an industrial grade air conditioner.

32 On Dit Magazine Issue 83.12

Exam Adjudicators Dress codes for this position include jackets or pants that make a loud rustling sound and traditional Dutch clogs. The purpose of this get up is to make you very aware of their presence as they stoop down to peer at your face while checking your ID. Adjudicators are also ironically prone to abusing loud speaker privileges to reprimand students for being too noisy.

Exam Content Probably one of the most ridiculous ways of assessing a person’s competence in the 21st century. These papers are typically adorned with questions asking you to regurgitate a for mula, law or quote that was mentioned during a lecture you dozed off in a few weeks ago. Before the advent of the Internet, it was probably pretty reasonable to require a student to remember these niche for mulae, but it would be plain irresponsible to try to implement a seldom used for mula in the modern day without confir ming its accuracy on the Internet first.

That Guy or Girl Sitting Next To You There’s at least one encounter every exam period without fail. You’ve never met them before but you can definitely make a quick judgement of character based on their penchant for shaking their leg or clicking their pen.

However infuriating exams may be, study discipline is the key. So hit the bar, cinema or wh atever takes your fancy and scrape th at 50. You’re going to be doing it all again next year anyway.

NOT SO SMART AFTER ALL Author: Rach ael Ingl eton

‘I wish I was naturally smart’, ‘Why can’t I be like those people who just get it’, ‘Why can’t I just “get it”’. These are all questions that begin to swell in your mind as exams and final assessment looms. You sit in your class, envying those people who with minimal effort riff off a sentence that would have painstakingly taken you half an hour to write. Before you begin to launch a full offensive at those “lucky people”, let me tell you this: natural intelligence isn’t all it’s made out to be.

There are of course natural born geniuses whom none of us have any chance of matching: those people who were writing symphonies at six, and who read Socrates like we read Buzzfeed. But the people I’m talking about are people who on a good week would put in 8 hours of work and still get straight Ds. To most students, this seems like the holy grail of university, but to those on the other side of it, it’s a nightmare. Putting people’s natural resentment for you aside, your “luck” comes with crippling selfdoubt. The first problem is the unrelenting guilt of knowing that you should be working harder.

When you only put in sixty percent, instead of ninety, you spend most of your day loathing your laziness, and cursing yourself for not being a more motivated person. But then your inner monologue reasons with you, and asks “why? Why do you need to work harder? Is a 6.5 not good enough?” It is this thought that is so damaging. Of course you know that it is enough, but it will never quell the guilt you have, knowing that if you actually tried, you could do so much more.

or equation. These flukes come with the fear of knowing that one day your luck might dry up, and you’ll be left with nothing with the crumbling ruins of your academic career.

Okay, so I’m over exag gerating, but it’s very true.

We’re never rewarded with the satisfaction of knowing that we earned every part of our success, because we’ll never know. And believe it or not, that satisfaction is very reassuring. You can feel proud of your achievements, and sleep at night knowing that you deser ve what you’ve got. For us, in that satisfaction’s absence, lies doubt and uncertainty.

So when exams roll around this semester, just ask yourself, do you really wish you were naturally smart?

So when exams roll around this semester, just ask yourself, do you really wish you were naturally smart? Is taking the red pill really worth it? From where I stand, there’s only one thing I can hold for certain, and that’s knowing that people who work tirelessly for their success and do succeed – they’re really the lucky ones.

If you manage to overcome that hurdle, then sure enough you’re knocked down almost instantly by the next: fear. You see, unless you’re an A-grade dickhead, then you put your success down to luck.

You get exam questions you thought you’d get, you got an easy marker, or you found that key case

www.facebook.com/onditmagazine 33

DEA H OF THE HIPSTER Author: Vicki Griffin

34 On Dit Magazine Issue 83.12

Artis t: Mary Angl e y

When I first pitched this idea to On Dit, I thought it was going to be a ver y easy article to write: hipsters suck, and now we’re all hipsters, and society sucks, and I hate craft beer, the end.

But the more I looked into the topic, the more interesting and convoluted it became, and the less I could stand by my initial cynical and negative attitude that, let’s be real, is most probably a side effect of seeing everyone Instagramming craft beer on a sunny Sunday afternoon while I am stuck inside attempting to study.

Let’s trace the history of the word ‘hipster’.

Originally a word used to describe middle-class white youths seeking to emulate the lifestyle of black jazz musicians (a phenomenon I think is known nowadays as “rachet”), the hipster subculture expanded after World War II to include a ‘burgeoning literary scene.'

Jack Kerouac described 1940s hipsters as, ‘rising and roaming America, bumming and hitchhiking everywhere [as] characters of a special spirituality.’

Nor man Mailer characterised hipsters as existentialists living a life surrounded by death and strangled by social confor mity, and electing instead to ‘divorce [themselves] from society, to exist without roots, to set out on that uncharted journey into the rebellious imperatives of the self.’

Many of these characteristics may have rung true for the modern hipster in its original inception which, if I recall correctly, was around that messy early 2000s period when pop culture was in a steep decline, and internet culture was in its infancy. We woke up one morning and turned on the TV, expecting to see morning cartoons, and instead saw planes crashing into buildings. We saw our childhood idols of the 90s shave their heads and flash their vaginas to the paparazzi. In just a few short years, my generation lost its innocence. Songs about girl power gave way to rap videos about getting money and fucking bitches.

Even worse, layering was in fashion, a clever ploy by companies to convince us that wearing one top just wasn’t enough – we needed at least three, all slightly different cuts so you could see each layer poking through. Is it any wonder we became disillusioned?

The conditions were ripe for a re-birth of Kerouac’s hipster, whose attempt to divorce the self from society was to don some thick-rimmed non-prescription glasses, a plaid op-shop shirt and ride a bicycle. This may sound trite but I assure you was revolutionary at a time when Panic! At the Disco and the whole emo subculture were the only for ms of expression for angst-ridden teens who did not identify with the mainstream. Marketing companies convinced us that we needed to be individual and use clothing to communicate our identity. So, contrary to Kerouac’s hipster, really all the millennial hipsters were doing was falling for this logic. Wikipedia tells us, ‘Some analysts contend that the notion of the contemporary

hipster is actually a myth created by marketing,’ and it truly is hard to tell. Hipsters were mocked; nobody wanted to be a hipster. Wikipedia further explains, ‘Members of the subculture typically do not selfidentify as hipsters, and the word hipster is often used as a pejorative to describe someone who is pretentious, overly trendy or effete.’

The hipster ate itself. Commentators were baffled by this clothing trend that seemed, at its heart, to be an attempt to be authentic. And marketing companies, watching their consumers hungrily in an attempt to work out what they might want to spend their money on next, jumped straight on it in a moneyhungry and very inauthentic way – this was the minute the hipster died. When everybody strives to be alternative, nobody is – or maybe we all are? This is the crossroads my research has brought me to.

Jump forward a few years to today, and something very confusing is happening. Traditional hipster clothing brands such as American Apparel are going bankrupt, and yet McDonalds is ser ving gour met burgers on wooden chopping boards. In the age of immediacy, when you could have a fuck buddy at your house with just a single swipe right, people are willing to wait that little bit longer for a moustached and tattoed barista to make the perfect cold-drip coffee at a local café I heard about on Instagram.

In an age when sweat-shops in China can churn out shitty t-shirt after shitty t-shirt that could be yours at K-Mart for merely $5, people are desiring highquality, ethically-sourced clothing alternatives.

The hipster trend is dead because it is totally nor malised.

And I’m wondering if this is really that bad? Racked. com proposes that in recent years, hipster culture ‘has become much more about internalizing a set of ideals about how to live ethically, rather than simply rejecting everything mainstream.’ So, yes the hipster is dead, because everyone has become a hipster. But maybe we are all hipsters, attending far mers markets, and eating vegan local produce, and going to our friend’s small bars for a fancy gin cocktail because, well, it’s a pretty good way to live? Because we might as well say fuck you to the corporations and stimulate the local economy, because we might as well turn our backs on a corporate career and decide to open a small coffee shop, because going to a local craft market on a Sunday is a whole lot better than staying inside, because instead of supporting Coles for ripping off the far mers, you might as well go to the far mers market and give the poor bloke your money yourself ?

And so I’ve confused myself here. Because I fully intended to write a hate piece about a shitty trend that everyone killed by jumping on the bandwagon.

And, having thought about it more thoroughly, living the hipster lifestyle seems like a sensible way to live. www.facebook.com/onditmagazine 35

The Beginner's Guide to Nerdy Summer Binge - Watching Author: Claire Hal e

Your exams are finally over; you have nothing to do; you could go outside but the Australian sun is a bit too harsh for your liking. This is where the following guide comes in. Read on to see what series are worth watching, ranked by length of time needed to watch.

Firefly Number of seasons: 1 Time taken to watch all: 10 hours W here to watch: Netflix One of Joss Whedon’s first creations in TV land (his other works include Buffy, Dollhouse and The Avengers Movie), Firefly stars Nathan Fillion (Castle) as Captain Malcolm Reynolds as well as many others who fly around space in the 26th century.

Unfortunately, this series was a little short lived, but never fear; there is a movie, titled Serenity, and there are talks that Netflix may pick up the rights and start making new seasons!

Sherlock Number of Seasons: 3 (4th one is in production) Time taken to watch all: 18 hours W here to watch: Netflix The BBC’s adaptation of this British favourite definitely has won the hearts of nerds around the world. Created by Doctor W ho duo Steven Moffatt and Mark Gatiss, and starring Benedict Cumberbatch (The Imitation Game) as the title character, this series puts Arthur Conan Doyle’s genius into the 21st Century.

While there have been three seasons, there are only three episodes per season with massive breaks between seasons. Luckily, there will be a Christmas Special to tide you over until the next season comes out.

36 On Dit Magazine Issue 83.12

Harry Potter Number of Movies: 8 Time taken to watch all: 19 hours W here to watch: Some of the early movies are on Netflix Probably one of the starting points to becoming a nerd, JK Rowling’s series has won hearts of millennials in particular. Why should you watch these movies if you haven't? Well it's simple, you can improve your chances at the next Har r y Potter quiz night!

Within the ‘fandom’ of everything Potter, next year a new movie Fantastic Beasts and W here to Find Them starring Eddie Redmayne (Les Misérables, The Theor y of Ever ything) as well as a theatre play called Har r y Potter and the Cursed Child will be beginning; therefore, it is imperative that watching the original movies should occur before the year of Potter (that's 2016).

Game of Thrones Number of Seasons: 5 Time taken to watch all: 2.1 days W here to watch: iTunes and Google Play HBO’s adaption of George R Martin’s colossal novel series has seen a new legion of fans the world over. A very war like approach, the battle for power is the main storyline for this series. The series has numerous notable actors starring such as Sean Bean (Lord of the Rings), Emilia Clarke (Terminator), Thomas Brodie-Sangster (Love Actually) and many more. GoT is definitely something you want to watch.

Just make sure you're not watching it with your parents or younger relatives… It is rated R18+ in Australia because of some VERY interesting scenes…

New Doctor Who Number of Seasons: officially 9, but more like 10ish Time taken to watch all: 5.1 days W here to watch: Series 1-8 on Netflix, Series 9 cur rently showing on ABC at time of writing

Fun fact: there are a few Australians who star in the show. A prominent character is played by Julian McMahon (Home and Away, Nip/Tuck, Fantastic Four) who is the son of the 20th Prime Minister, William McMahon!

The revived series of 52-year-old Doctor W ho is a great starting point for any prospective Whovians.

Rebooted in 2005 after a long hiatus from screens, NewWho has seen 5 different incarnations of the Doctor. Starting with Christopher Eccleston (Thor : The Dark World) as the 9th Doctor and progressing through David Tennant (Broadchurch, Casanova, Har r y Potter), Matthew Smith (Terminator, Party Animals), John Hurt (Har r y Potter, Alien) and Peter Capaldi. (The Thick of It, Paddington.)

Old Doctor Who Number of Seasons: 26 Time taken to watch all: 12.8 days W here to watch: DVDs or some episodes are on iTunes

NewWho has also created spin off series. Torchwood (can be found on Netflix) is one for people who don't mind a bit of gore mixed with your Doctor W ho, while The Sarah Jane Adventures takes a more child like approach to fighting aliens. There is also an animated serial on Netflix called Dreamland. All are good to watch never the less.

On top of NewWho, is ClassicWho. Before the 9th Doctor, there were 8 others portraying the mysterious character. ClassicWho started in 1963 and the series lasted until 1989 when it was unfortunately cancelled. However, in 1996, a TV movie was produced breaking the Who drought in the 90s.

ClassicWho does have a different for mat with episodes to NewWho. Stories carry over several episodes that last roughly 30 minutes. As with all oldish shows, the technolog y is a little cringeworthy and laughable.

Charmed Number of Seasons: 8 Time taken to watch all: 7.4 days W here to watch: DVDs or there are often re-runs on Channel 11.

This 00s favourite is not a widely known nerdy series. Created by Aaron Spelling (creator of Beverly Hills 90210), it stars Shannen Doherty (90210, MallRats), Holly Marie Combs (Pretty Little Liars), Alyssa Milano (W ho’s the Boss, Melrose Place) and Rose McGowan (Scream, Jawbreaker) Charmed focuses on the lives of young witches who come to ter ms with their magical abilities. If none of the other shows mentioned in this article interest you, I definitely sug gest you give Charmed a try!

www.facebook.com/onditmagazine 37

ROMANCE IN THE AGE OF THE DICK PIC

Author: Lani Gerbi

I love old-school romance. Seriously, you cannot fathom how much I love that shit. I’m not historically picky; I’ll take anything. Give me King Arthur riding out on a perilous quest to save his true love Guinevere; give me Romeo and Juliet - I don’t even care that it’s about two teenagers, or that Shakespeare managed to kill off as many characters as there were days in the play; shit, let me at some Mills and Boon paperbacks, I’m shameless, I’ll read the shit out of that. You don’t even want to know how many times I’ve binge-watched the entire Pride and Prejudice BBC mini-series, I mean seriously, Colin Firth, you

38 On Dit Magazine Issue 83.12

must allow me to tell you how ardently I love and admire you.

But let’s just hold up a second and remember that all of these beautiful stories have a historical context. Yes, King Arthur is awesome, but so is sanitation, and if you really think about it, would you actually like to be Guinevere in that story? A barren woman who falls in love with a knight that isn’t her husband? There’s no such thing as divorce at that point so good luck with that.

And Romeo and Juliet? As gorgeous as Leonardo DiCaprio is, Romeo the character is still a maybe

nineteen year old screwing around with a thirteen year old child. Do you look at Year 8 students and go ‘ah yes, young adults’, or do you go ‘Jesus they’re tiny’? Would you really like to live in a time at which anybody actually let you pick your life partner at thirteen? I have to say, I remember who I was crushing on at thirteen, and I thank the entire cohort at Mount Olympus that I did not have marriage prospects at that time because shit no.

But what about Pride and Prejudice? How can anyone fault that pinnacle of literary genius? Well, they can’t – anyone who disagrees can fight me – but the time period in which our lady and saviour Jane Austen was writing? Not all that flash. Doing the washing took a full two days minimum and involved sticking your hands into soapy boiling water, and not regular soap either. Soap would be made from urine – ew – and lye, which would burn your hands. Think about how often you can be bothered sticking your dirty jeans in the washing machine. How often do you think ye olde schoole washing would have been done? Yeah that’s what I thought. Maybe monthly. Maybe. But only if you happened to have some essays due or something.

That wouldn’t have happened though, if you were female or poor, which, between the two, accounts for the vast majority of this magazine’s readership, because education was still pretty much a pursuit for men. As we all know, manly man brains are made of steel and muscle and dry Weetabix, while we ladies have lace for brains so we’ve got to learn arts and crafts and music and French, etc. You know. Because having lady bits makes it easier to learn the piano.

(False. I tried it. Over the course of a brief musical affair, I found that the pianoforte was completely unmoved by my feminine arts and allurements, and refused point blank to sound pretty no matter how many times I tried to convince it that I was in fact a lady.)

So historically speaking, old school romance isn’t quite as nice as it looks with Colin Firth on the cover, but is it better or worse than modern day dating? While it is still a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife, or at least several significantly younger and better looking lovers – Hugh Hefner, I’m looking at you – is it now a truth universally acknowledged that a single woman in possession of a good phone must be in want of a dick pic?

It’s true that in a lot of ways, women have reached a more equal footing in the romantic arena. For example, we’re allowed to express romantic sentiments without having first received a marriage proposal; what could we possibly have to complain about?

A lot. We’ll start with the phenomenon of the unsolicited dick pic. I have one response to that and it is what the fuck? If someone doesn’t find your face attractive, do you really think a shitty photo of your unmentionables is going to be an improvement?

If the girl you like doesn’t want to go out with you, can we all just agree that murdering her is not an appropriate response?

And another thing, also directed at the menfolk.

If the girl you like doesn’t want to go out with you, can we all just agree that murdering her is not an appropriate response? For some reason, we’ve morphed from the standard practice being to accept the rejection with grace and try not to cry in front of her because she might be upset by it, to actually having a gigantic fit and killing people.

How about we don’t do that?

And one last thing for the ladies. Some boys talk a lot of shit about how women nowadays are skanks, and how they wouldn’t want a girl that had been with too many guys. Fuck that. Don’t fuck those boys.

Do what’s right for you. If you’re comfortable and it’s consensual, go for it. The single best feature of modern day dating, aside from the returns policy, is the ‘try before you buy’ philosophy.

So in essence, the grass isn’t really greener anywhere, but there’s still something to be said for modern day romance – even if it’s just how glad I am that I will never have to know exactly how much my parents value me in actual monetary ter ms.

www.facebook.com/onditmagazine 39

Farewell, Face-to-Face(book)!

Author: Tash Loh Before we begin, I’d like to do a quick experiment.

Hands up if sometime in the last week or so you approached a few hundred random strangers on the street, pointed towards your face and enthusiastically recited a witty Tumblr post while giving an IRL of the thumbs-up emoji? How many people seemed to like this? How many people commented on your perceptibly odd behaviour?

Funny how placed in a physical context, the culmination of these actions seems strange. But it’s literally everywhere every day. It only takes a few flicks of the forefinger through Instagram to obser ve the very definition of our generation’s apparent adoration for selfies and over-sharing.

I will bet my bottom dollar that you and your banterfuelled rowdy mates have an epic group inbox on Facey-b with a super hilar name that references some slightly lame inside joke between you guys – I will defend my group’s name of Tequila and Boy Cooties to the damn grave – and I will also bet that the flurry of 100+ messages sent in one roasting session is not an accurate representation of how much you actually communicate in real life.

It’s easy for older generations to dismiss ours as tech-obsessed, lazy millennials with a lack of drive and passion. We’re glued to our phones and talk incomprehensible t3ch sp3@k, spending all our time on anti-social media tweeting the Instagrams and snapbooking the facechats. You seriously only have to read one or two opinion columns somewhere on The Advertiser website to suddenly find yourself amongst “hurr durr technolog y is bad” old(er) people who will frantically insist that we are single-handedly destroying society (I think that was more on you when you totally fucked up

40 On Dit Magazine Issue 83.12

the economy, Cheryl). But TBQH, do their claims actually carry any weight?

What if society’s traditions never evolved? What if the Cheryl’s of the 1800s turned their noses up at the 1890s kids who decided to rebel against the reliable old mailing system and – gasp – embrace the wonders of the telephone?! A new and efficient way of communicating?! Someone think of the children! The reality is, our society absolutely thrives off of evolution. We thrive off of innovation, new developments and, yes, being social. The whole advent of social media is that its presence acts solely as an enabler for deep and meaningful conversation, not the other way around.

How many people do you think would have listened to Grace Helbig or Troye Sivan if they just started talking in funny voices on the bus in the hopes that people would find them funny? How many people would have “done it for the vine” if there was no vine for it to be done for? The world is no longer linear, Cheryl. The world is a fucking beautiful and magnificent diamond network of ideas that can be shared at the click of a button or the tweet of the twitter.

If you’re by any means a traditionalist (which I’ll admit a tiny bit to being) then you will find yourself slightly saddened by the supposed end of face-to-face conversation. But if you’re someone who believes in the beauty of seeing creative souls present their immaculately coordinated Instagram feeds you’ll be welcoming the social media revolution with open ar ms. Tradition is dying. It’s time to scatter the ashes, get drunk at the wake and move on.

THE BEST

(AND NOT-SO-BEST) MUSIC OF 2015 Author: Andrew Lang It seems th at this year more th an ever we’ve been inundated with music from all genres and all corners of the world, which h as grown h arder and h arder to follow. Which is why, in wh at will probabl y be the first music countdown you see this year (you’re welcome), I bring you some of my personal music highlights and lowlights of 2015.

THE BEST

THE NOT-SO-BEST

Sufjan Stevens - Carrie & Lowell

Aphex Twin - Computer Controlled Acoustic Instruments

The first album in five years from indie folk darling Sufjan Stevens sees a departure in style from his last production-heavy album The Age of Adz, instead opting for an incredibly minimal set of vocals and guitars.

Inspired by the deaths of his mother and stepfather, Car rie & Lowell’s eleven songs toe a constant line between meditative songwriting, uplifting folk music, and depressing lyricism. The album is yet another showcase of Stevens’ adeptness in changing genres with every album he writes and making something truly memorable. In many ways Car rie & Lowell is a very dark record, but stands out as one of his best.

When writing this article I was deter mined not to cover old ground and write about albums I’ve already reviewed. But I just had to give this one another crack.

I mean, have you heard this? Aphex is generally astute at crafting innovative works, and usually he manages to mask that creativity with musicality. But it seems that even Aphex Twin isn’t infallible, and Computer Controlled Acoustic Instruments is evidence of this. Mr Twin, a snare drum speeding up and slowing down for 20 seconds isn’t a song, no matter how much technolog y you throw behind it.

Recommended track: “Fourth of July” Rachel Grimes - The Clearing The Clearing sees Rachel Grimes, for mer member of Louisianan minimalist classical outfit Rachel’s, release her second album as a solo act. Where Book of Leaves, her last album, was comprised entirely of piano solos, her second effort sees a wider sonic palette of electronics (courtesy of Loscil) with strings, harps, and woodwind also entering the fold. Even though it retreads some of the ground of her last album, this beautifully dissonant record displays Grimes’ strengths both as a composer and perfor mer.

Recommended track: “In the Vapor W ith the Air Under neath” Chantal Acda - The Sparkle in Our Flaws Chantal Acda is best known through several of her collaborative projects, such as her collaborations with Adam Wiltzie as Sleepingdog. But now Acda has struck out on her own, with a sophomore effort that is pure, honest, and unyielding. Acda has always had a great maturity and subtlety to her lyrics, and this record is no exception, singing of the connections between past and present, and the effects of experience on our current selves. Coupled with superb playing from a number of established perfor mers, it’s a truly stunning work.

Recommended track: “piano un10 it happened”. Seriously, it’s pretty much the only good one.

The Decemberists - What a Terrible World, What a Beautiful World After taking a few years off, everyone’s favourite folkslash-prog-rock-slash-historical-fiction outfit The Decemberists came back for another shot at glory this year. But sadly W hat A Ter rible World suffers from a classic case of having a few good songs and an album to round it out. The result feels unpolished, inconsistent, and underwhelming. “The Singer Addresses His Audience”, a song from the perspective of a singer trying to come to ter ms with the balance between commercial success and their longtime audience, rings true for a band that now play their shows at Radio City Music Hall while maintaining their indie cred. But when we know how good The Decemberists can be, it’s hard to recommend more than a couple of songs from this one. Honestly, I’m just here for The Hazards of Love.

Recommended track: “Make You Better”

Recommended track: “Homes” www.facebook.com/onditmagazine 41

ARTIST SPOTLIGHT:

CARLY HARVY

Clare

Natarsha

This is a portrait of my beautiful friend Clare looking very ‘Frida Kahlo’ for my Mexican housewar ming. This was the first time I used thick paint and palette knives instead of brushes for a portrait.

Natarsha is part of a series of mini porthole portraits on plywood, in which I used bright colours to construct the sitter’s face in the style of fauvism. There’s glitter, and there’s a gold leaf.

This shit’s fun.

42 On Dit Magazine Issue 83.12

About the Artist Carly Har vy is an emerging artist and chemical engineering student from Adelaide. Her work focuses on popular culture and portraiture and is an amalgamation of contemporary realism and physical abstraction, using an unconventional combination of oil paint, glass, glitter and embroidery.

Plant Portrait I

Wrong

I’m currently planning a series of plant portrait diptychs. It’s surprising how many people associate plants with people in their lives or events from their childhood. In my series, I’ll use plants to personify the human emotions and personalities of my sitter. If anyone wants a portrait of themselves with their favorite plant, give me a yell at carly.har vy@student.adelaide. edu.au

Before people had front cameras on their phones an oil painting of yourself was the only way to record that your winged eyeliner was on point.

I painted this self-portrait along with portraits of my housemates so that we could show our house guests that we were classy AF. But having your face enlarged is not a nice experience at all. So I crossed it out.

www.facebook.com/onditmagazine 43

MUSIC REVIEW

HARMLESSNESS - THE WORLD IS A BEAUTIFUL PLACE &

I AM NO LONGER AFRAID TO DIE Author: Andrew Lang Har mlessness is the new album from Connecticut’s The World Is A Beautiful Place & I Am No Longer Afraid To Die. Previous efforts have seen the band take something of an emo sound to their music, which isn’t a style that’s interested me that much for a while. But I was bored, Spotify was open, and it had been a while since I’d given them a try. So here we are.

Harmlessness sees the band take a more reser ved approach to their sound. 2013’s W henever, If Ever was an almost complete turn off for me, simply because of the band’s interest in (admittedly infrequent) screaming vocals. But this record has none of that, instead opting for a sound resembling something like indie rock, which makes for a much more enjoyable listening experience.

The album opens with “You Can’t Live There Forever”, a song of quiet acoustic guitar and growling vocals that sounds as though it was played in front of a handheld recorder. The accompanying lyrics even contain a few tongue-incheek references to the band’s name. But suddenly, the song’s lo-fi quality quietly explodes into something a little more rousing, bringing violins and drums into the fold while still maintaining its reser vedness. And this is perhaps the best way to describe Harmlessness – exploding, quietly but with enthusiasm.

44 On Dit Magazine Issue 83.12

As someone who tends to focus on music rather than lyrics, the music on its own make for an incredibly depressing experience. But coupled with words, the songs that make up Harmlessness make for a far more uplifting listen. A frequent theme of the songs comes from the idea of selfcare and acceptance of self, even under the most overbearing of circumstances. A song entitled “Mental Health” has the line ‘You are nor mal and healthy to forgive yourself ’; another, “I Can Be Afraid of Anything”, speaks of ‘I really did dig my own hole, and I'm climbing out’. These songs are confessional, entangled in the need for optimism in hopeless situations.

The album culminates with “Mount Hum”, an eight-minute apex that stands as perhaps the most optimistic song on the record, going through highs and lows in incredible swells. But as soon as it seems to have begun, the whole experience is over.

While there are moments of despair throughout, the album ultimately brings us out the other side more encouraged, more optimistic. And this is where it shines – not in purely expressing one ideal over another, but recognising and accepting them all. Harmlessness stands as one of the year’s big gest surprises for me, and celebrates the diversity of experience and the power of self-acceptance.

Highly recommended.

BULLET IN THE FACE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL MEETS FACE OFF Author: Lachlan Hunt There are two ways media can tap into the elusive bracket of So bad it’s good comedy: intentionally or unintentionally. Films like The Princess Bride and Man on the Moon reflect the market for new audiences that are in on the whole premise of self-parodying situations. The Room is an example of the opposite, as it gathers on an audience because it was intended to be a serious drama, yet stumbles unintentionally into a new comedic context. Bullet in the Face (IFC Originals, 2012) was sitting on the shelf at my local library, minding its own business, and it actually looked like something that might be well put together. Although there are no names on the cover, I saw Eddie Izzard in the top left hand corner of a roulette wheel of gun-in-hand thugs. ‘A Viciously Funny Comedy’ was the tag-line across the top of the DVD cover. Let’s find out.

Turns out that this is actually a six part mini-series, but it’s not too hard to follow. In a jewellery heist gone wrong, Gunter Vogler (Max Williams) has a standoff with a detective (unnamed and uncredited).

They swap shots and Gunter kills his opponent, but has his face blown off in the process. The police department find Gunter and want to bring his trainer, Johann Tannhauser (Eddie Izzard), to justice.

Fade into three months later, and Gunter now has the dead detective’s face surgically attached! From there, a trail of twisted black humour, savage violence and bizarrely stretched plot-lines carry you through the next five episodes. Bullet isn’t such a cheap knock-off in its visuals either. Every fight scene and decapitated head holds together, and there’s numerous cringeworthy moments – cringeworthy for the right reasons.

Williams has bounced between various short films and TV appearances in his career, but he has the face to be a front-man, in all its reappearing for ms.

Kate Kelton as everyone’s part-time lover, Martine Mahler, gets to play “who got me pregnant?” through most of the series. Elusively playing all three of the

male leads’ partners, she has a fantastic potency for danger in her eyes, genuinely pulling off the beautiful but deadly trope.

Eddie Izzard is probably the better know favourite of the series though. Almost all his lines hit the funny bone, and I wouldn’t be surprised to find out if writer Alan Spencer had worked with Izzard to produce his specific dialogue. His internationally acclaimed panache seeps through his bold, psychopathic mobboss character.

That being said, it may make Bullet in the Face sound cheap or poorly constructed, but the series clearly has money to spend. The plot moves along quickly and every insight into a character’s back story becomes a gag. Cantered camera angles spread just the right amount of over-emphasis on every heavyhanded plot twist. As demonstrated in Sledgehammer, The Tomor row Man and Hexed, writer Alan Spencer is a creative fan-boy, soaked in mass-media blockbusters and he parodies this hype and over enthusiasm with his own bold, melodramatic style. He cameos in it too, naturally (ep 5).

As far as mini-series go, Bullet in the Face is now my goto example of how you can successfully blend Bold and the Beautiful and Face-Off for a good hour and a half of gory comedy. It’s a show beg ging for drinking-game rules and heckling. Whenever its humour misses the mark, the creativity of its fight scenes and the stretch of its overarching plot cheekily rescue the show.

Late nights in front of the TV with friends are now a prime opportunities for all audiences to ridicule every fallacy of Spencer’s imagination, but also to rejoice in his visual brutality.

-thespectrumperspective Follow thespectrumperspective on Tumblr and Lachlan Hunt on Medium

www.facebook.com/onditmagazine 45

TARNANTHI: FESTIVAL OF CONTEMPORARY ABORIGINAL AND TORRES STRAIGHT ISLANDER ART: 8th October – 18 October: With many exhibitions continuing until the 17th of J anuary Author: Josephine Boult

As the sun rises over Mt Lofty, it casts its light over the planes of Adelaide, the lands of the Kaur na people, its traditional owners. Tar nanthi (pronounced tar-nan-dee) is the Kaur na word describing the coming of new beginnings, ‘to rise, come forth, spring up or appear’, like the first light of day. This, in tur n, is a universal symbol for starting afresh.

The purpose of Tarnanthi is to bring together artists from across Australia, to shed new light, new perspectives, and new opportunities for indigenous art, both for artists and audiences. Showcasing over 300 artists from all over the country, and representing a diverse mix of works in different medium and materials, the festival presents new opportunities for both artists and audiences to embrace the rich cultures that stem from this beautiful land.

While the greater festival concluded on the 18th of October at the Art Gallery of South Australia, the exhibition will continue until the 17th of January, 2016. Covering two floors and multiple exhibition spaces, the artworks are diverse not only in medium but also in subject matter.

With such a plethora of amazing artwork at our fingertips, it is extremely hard to distinguish highlights of the exhibition. However, one of the works that caught my eye was Yhonnie Scarce’s suspended glass installation, Raining Thunder Poison, which resembles a nuclear cloud, a reimagined reminder of the nuclear bomb testing conducted at Maralinga in northern South Australia between 1953 and 1963. What initially appear to be tear-drop shaped glass bulbs turn out to be 2000 individually blown glass bush yams, suspended from fishing line. The powerful piece catches the light, twinkling like a grand chandelier. Yet behind the beauty is a darker reality.

46 On Dit Magazine Issue 83.12

In another gallery, grand collaborative canvases by Spinifex artists paint vibrant tales of identity and culture, depicted through intricate patterns of dots and natural linear motions of the paintbrush. The complex iconography comes together to represent the artists’ lives and presence within their beautiful desert surroundings. Accompanying photographs of the artists provided by Stephen Oxbury further acquaints the viewer with the people behind the paintbrush.

Upstairs, Yvonne Koolmatrie’s woven sculptures reimagine traditional south-eastern weaving practices in an exhibition called Riverland. Over the last three decades she has used traditional weaving practices to sculpt eel and yabby traps, lyrical story mats, modern for ms such as hot hair balloons and aeroplanes and natural for ms such animals and fish. The artist brings contemporary art practice and tradition together in a dynamic display that attests to her dedication to material and the robustness of Ngarrindjeri culture.

I left the exhibition feeling uplifted. I felt like I’d gotten to know something about the lives and culture of the artists whose work was on display. I was impressed by the vibrant hues, intricate patterns and the complexity and beauty of the pieces. Overall, I felt like Tarnanthi had achieved what it set out to do. That is, with a strong focus on the artists, it celebrated and supported both emerging and established indigenous artists by presenting their work in a new way to new and receptive audiences, revering the agency of imagination. As the sun dips below the horizon, casting orange and pink hues over the city, we can feel satisfied that a new chapter for Aboriginal and Torres Straight Islander art and culture has begun.

Confessions of a Law Student Author: Anonymous

Mo st peo ple don ’t und ers tan d the def ini tio n of iro ny. Th ere is of cou rse , the OE D def ini tio n tha t wil l spi t out som e sta nda rd ans we r.

Th en the re is the AU law stu den t app rov ed def ini tio n.

In ligh t of my loo min g fai lur e of yet ano the r art s sub jec t, I tho ugh t we ’d tak e a fie ld trip. Yo u kno w, fin ally em bra ce Ac ade mic En glis h II wit h an exe rci se in iro ny. So Ele ctr ic Cir cus (or EC s as it’s aff ect ion ate ly kno wn by the reg ula r pun ter s) it wa s. We tho ugh t, ‘wh at cou ld be mo re iro nic tha n a gro up of con ser vat ive law stu den ts hit tin g up EC s wh ile spo rtin g asy mm etr ica l shi rts and Wi nds or Sm ith s?’ Ev ide ntl y, qui te a lot mo re. Yo u see , bef ore the nig ht wa s out thi s gro up of Ba car di Bre eze r ban dit s wo uld com mit sev era l fel on ies .

I me an, wh at we did wa sn’ t –st ric tly- ille gal , jus t you kno w, fro wn ed upo n.

Aft er wh at wa s a rat her sho rt lin e – tha nk you Ad ela ide Pri vat e Sch oo l Co nn ect ion s – I me t my ma tch wit h $5 vod ka ras pb err ies. An d wit h tha t dan ger ous coc kta il of son gs on hig h rot atio n and che ap alc oh ol I wa s don e. Som ew her e bet we en the fou rth pla y of Ste ve Ao ki’s sm ash hit “B on ele ss” and wa kin g up in the mo rni ng, I had ma nag ed to sen d so ma ny tex ts to my exe s tha t I cou ldn ’t bea r op eni ng my ph on e to see the dam age . No t to wo rry tho ugh , tha t pro ble m wa s eve ntu ally sol ved wh en my mo st sha me ful mo me nts we re rea d to me at an imp rom ptu po etr y sla m at the Au str al two we eks late r.

We als o ma nag ed, som eho w, to fin d our wa y int o an uns usp ect ing spo rtin g clu b. I’d jus t like to tak e a mo me nt her e to tha nk the SSA F, wh ich for the firs t tim e act ual ly fun ded som eth ing use ful to me : my inc om ing han gov er. Oh yes , we ma nag ed to fin d the ir sup er sec ret bo oze sta sh, and con tin ued to inc arc era te and inc apa cita te our sel ves a litt le fur the r. Bu t if the re’s on e thi ng my leg al edu cat ion has tau ght me thi s far , it’s tha t it on ly cou nts if you get cau ght . Wh eth er we did or did n’t get cau ght is a ma tte r of op ini on . Fo r me , fin din g my sel f hun gov er as hel l out the fro nt of the On Dit off ice in the ear ly ho urs of the mo rni ng ask ing the edi tor if sle epi ng the re wa s an op tio n wa s bad eno ugh .

As I sai d, it’s a litt le iro nic .

www.facebook.com/onditmagazine 47

CROSSWORD

By Masya Zabidi

AC R O S S

D OW N

1

2

2015 Nobel Literature Prize Winner, Svetlana _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 7 This adult magazine will no longer publish nude photos, _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 10 2015 Nobel Peace Prize Winner, _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ National Dialogue Quartet 11 Popular TV show based in Stars Hollow getting Netflix treatment, _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Girls 12 Japan’s nationalistic Prime Minister, _ _ _ _ _ _/ _ _ _ 16 Lena Dunham’s newsletter, _ _ _ _ _/ _ _ _ _ _ _ 17 Latest Cate Blanchett starrer co-starring Rooney Mara, _ _ _ _ _ 18 Art gallery that host Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander artworks 19 Rugby 2015 World Cup is held in _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 20 2015 Man Booker Prize Winner, _ _ _ _ _ _ James

48 On Dit Magazine Issue 83.12

Described by Kerouac as “roaming America, hitchhiking everywhere as characters of special spirituality” 3 Theme song of James Bond’s latest is sung by ___/_____ 4 Liverpool Football Club’s new manager, Jürgen _ _ _ _ _ 5 US publishing giant, Conde Nast’s latest acquisition is cult music website, _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Media 6 One of Off Dit’s troublemakers, _ _ _ _ _ Do-Wyeld 8 Multipurpose spacecraft created to conduct exploration of Mars, Mars Reconnaissance _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 9 According to Gus G. Crouch, one of the best albums of all time is _ _ _ _/ _ _ _ _ of the Moon 13 New Year’s Day 2016 falls on a _ _ _ _ _ _ 14 Main villain in Star Wars the Force Awakens, _ _ _ _/ _ _ _ 15 Canada’s new Prime Minister, Justin _ _ _ _ _ _ _

THE PEOPLE WHO MADE 2015 FLY Al ex A. Antoniou Al ex Lightbody Amelia Briggs Amelia Lee-Hammat Andre Bemmer Andrew Lang Angelo Tavlaridis Ann J ackson Anna Bail es Anna Thompson Annie Matsouliadis Anthony Nocera Anthony Zatorski Arthur Yeow Ath anasios Lazarou Ben Hosking Ben Newell Brydie Kosmina Caitlin Langford Carina Stathis Carl y Harvy Carmen Qiu Catherine Story Celia Cl ennett Ch arlie Kelso Chelsea All en Christy Anne Jones Christy Anne Jones Claire Hal e Claudia J anowski Connor Powrie Davita Koh

Delia Chin Emilie Francis Emil y Carr Emil y Ch ambers Emil y Hart Emma from Emma’s Dil emmas Fergus Kelso Gaida Merei Gemma Peach Genevieve Brandenburg George Th alassoudis Georgina Morphett Grace Denney Grace Marryat Gus Crouch Hanna J acob Hannah Pedl ey Hilary D’Angelo J ack Crawford J ack Hodges J acqueline Johns J ames Lawl er J asmin Hoadl ey J enny Nguyen Jordan Vihermaki Josephine Boult Justin Free McCulloch Justin Martyniuk Justin McArthur Karolinka Davidzi-

49 On Dit Magazine Issue 83.12

ak-Pacek Karl Stulkis Kate Andrinopoulos Kendra Pratt Kyriaco Nikias Lachlan Hunt Lani Gerbi Lara Jungh ardt Lauren Copland Lesl ey Hancock Lorraine Diaz Luca Ricci Lur Alghurabi Macintyre Howie Reeves Maddison Veitch Magnolia Bell Mandy Li Mary Angl ey Masya Zabidi Matilda Bristow Matthew Sclauzero Matthew Tamlin Max Cooper Max Wurm Mel Littl e Meng Wai Mikaela Wangmann Miriam Crosby Miss Lili Mitchell Salt Monty Do-Wyeld

Morgan Rigby-Meth Natalie Carfora Nick Bolton Nick Goggin Paddy Reynolds Patrick Swanson Peter Thomson Phoebe Paine Rachel Ingl eton Rachel Phillips Regan J enkins Renjie Du Ril ey Calaby Rob Katsambis Ron Presilbeal Sarah Bel et Sarah Boese Seng Ch au Serrin Prior Sophia Georgiadis Sophie Kitchen Sophie Underwood Steph anie Rogers Tash Loh Taylor Rundell Teagan Short Tim Smith Toby Barnfield Tom Cernev Tom Haskell Vicki Griffin Viray Th ach

50 On Dit Magazine Issue 83.12