84.7 Pop Culture by On Dit

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Editorial Correspondence President Reports Election Notice Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s On Vox Pop Articles Creative Reviews Diversions

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On Dit is a publication of the Adelaide University Union. Got a bee in your bonnet? Email us at ondit@adelaide.edu.au We recognise that the Kaurna people are the landowners and custodians of the Adelaide Plains. Ngaldu tampinthi Kaurna miyurna yarta mathanya Wama Tarntanyaku. Editors: Lur Alghurabi, Natalie Carfora, and Celia Clennett Sub-Editors: Karolinka Dawidziak-Pacek, Grace Denney, Brydie Kosmina, and Seamus Mullins Designers: Chelsea Allen, Anna Bailes, Daniel Bonato, and Georgia Diment Social Media: Nicole Wedding Front Cover: Anzelle de Kock Inside Back Cover: Stephen Lang

EDITORIAL

H ER

E CO

ME D AT B O

I!!!

T UP I SH ADD O H W Hey you,

Hello and welcome,

Hey,

I once read a book about a young Kurdish boy in the 1980s, struggling to make out his identity in the midst of a long war with the Iraqi Arabs. The little boy turned on his TV everyday in the hopes of finding something in Kurdish. Instead, everything was in either Arabic, English or even Hindi, and never Kurdish. The boy decided he will grow up and make movies in his language for the whole world to see, and to know that his people exist. He grew up to be an award-winning film director, Hiner Saleem, whose films premiered at Cannes and Venice Film Festivals, in Kurdish.

When my friend sends me memes at 3am, I smile because I know she’s thinking about me. The first time I showed my 7 year old cousin the puppy Snapchat filter, he immediately requested that I ‘do the one with the rainbow mouth!!’ I check Instagram every morning when I wake up, not because I want to, but something inside me that I don’t quite understand needs it. At work this week, I delivered lunch to a meeting of clients, a group of corporate grown adult professionals, and they were all talking about Pokémon Go and comparing battle techniques.

Pop culture is a huge part of many lives. We grow up with it. Now, things such as Pokemon Go are taking over the world, from gamers to non-gamers alike.

Pop culture isn’t only about what’s popular or mainstream. It can actually be the only outlet for the “un-popular” to find representation. In this edition, I hope you find something that represents you.

Pop culture is not just something you see when you turn on the TV anymore, it’s infiltrated every moment of our lives.

Write for us. Get represented.

Yours in memes,

May forks be with you,

Lur

Nat

Celia

Augmented Reality places Pokemon into our real world, enforcing many to go outside. Non-players are fleeing from the simple sight of a person making single swipe gesture on their phone, people are finding unpleasantries along rivers and no one is skipping leg day. My prediction is once Virtual Reality becomes a thing we will go back inside our caves and the world will be at peace again.

I love it.

CORRESPONDENCE Dear On Dit, I am worried. I am disappointed. Over the break I saw Everybody Wants Some, Richard Linklater’s latest film. And it just.... wasn’t that good? Where has the charm from its spiritual predeccessor Dazed and Confused gone? It seems like he’s becoming more and more out of touch. The character stories were weak and unrelatable and the soundtrack was just too obvious. I want the Linklater of old back. Signed, Disgruntled and Confused

A shout out to @radioadelaide for helping me to chill out after the stressful exam revision while penning the @OnDitMagazine article! - @thetempremental, Twitter Who will write the first @OnDitMagazine #PokemonGO article? - @BeMyTempest, Twitter Dear @BeMyTempest, We kind of got too excited and did it ourselves. Turn to page 40 for 10 tips on how to PokémonGo from On Dit’s Poké-Master In Residence, Celia Clennett.

STATE OF THE UNION

Welcome to the second semester! I have quite a few updates. Firstly, I would like to raise awareness about the lack of sports facilities on campus. We are very fortunate to have our campus in the CBD of Adelaide; however, the negative side of this is that there is little room for a sports hall. This makes the University of Adelaide the only Group of Eight university that does not have such facilities. I have been speaking with different staff members about the issue and I have been promised that the university is committed to build a basketball court on campus under part of the Union House redevelopment plan. Having more sports facilities on campus would significantly boost the student experience on campus and there is no doubt that it would help with student wellbeing. Secondly, I have been spending lots of time during my term trying to improve the services of the AUU clubs. I aim to provide more relevant clubs and better clubs services for all university students. The Unionâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s services towards clubs is a key way for the organisation to directly reach students from different backgrounds. Under my lead, the AUU Board has identified Clubs as a key area to increase our

engagement with students. Over the past few weeks, I have been speaking with students and staff members about the possible changes and will keep everyone updated with the progress in the future. Thirdly, the current General Manager of the AUU, Ms Dianne Janes has sent me her resignation. Under her term of three and half years, the Union has seen an expansion of its services and lots of positive changes. I would thank Dianne for leaving such a strong and stable team for all university students. Upon receiving her resignation, I have convened two special board meetings to immediately discuss the issue and I have gained unanimous support from my board directors in this process. The interview panel has followed all relevant regulations and agreements with the University and the Union. it was made up of myself, the AUU President, a representative from the University, a representative from the subsidiary board, and a representative of the AUU Board Directors. On the 4th of July, the panel interviewed the shortlisted candidates and has now made a recommendation to the AUU Board for the ideal candidate waiting to be approved. Finally, the university is about to

propose a plan for faculty merging from currently five faculties into three faculties. Our ViceChancellor, Warren Bebbington, has reassured me that he would send the relevant information to the AUU once it is made available to public, and he would also answer questions and concerns form the AUU about the impacts on students from the proposed changes. I will write more about these changes in an upcoming column. Hope you all have enjoyed a great holiday break and ready for the challenges of the new courses. If you have any questions about University issues or just would like a chat, feel free to come to my Office at Level 4 Union House or send me an email. Renjie Du auupresident@auu.org.au

SRC PRESIDENT

Holidays are for resting up, but there’s no rest for the wicked and boy has Adelaide University’s ViceChancellor Warren Bebbington been busy. He’s been announcing plans to cut down the number of university faculties from five to three, likely leading to cuts to courses and staff. Luckily uni management aren’t the only ones keeping busy. Over the uni break student activists from around Australia descended on Sydney University for the Education Conference. Each year EdCon is a chance for student activists to share experiences from their campuses, debate out the main issues facing the student movement and get organised for the second semester. Monday: The week started with a bang, and a reminder that cuts aren’t just an Adelaide problem. Sydney University where the conference took place is home to an arts college, Sydney College of the Arts or SCA. SCA students are now fighting against the closure of their school, and on Monday hundreds gathered to shut down a university management meeting. I spoke to the gathered crowd about cuts at Adelaide and the inspiration I felt seeing how fiery the SCA students were in fighting for their courses. While riot cops stopped us entering the management’s boardroom, the students’ determined resistance was a brilliant reminder of what EdCon is all about.

Tuesday: EdCon is organised along factional lines. The three main groups at this conference were the National Labor Students (NLS), Student Unity, and Socialist Alternative. The first two are respectively the left and rightwing student factions of the Labor party, while Socialist Alternative is the largest radical left group on the campuses and the organisation that I attended the conference with. Socialist Alternative came to argue we needed a student movement organised separately to the Labor party and prepared to stand up to attacks wherever they came from, with an emphasis on the importance of protest in securing wins. This meant we disagreed with the argument from both Labor student factions, which was to defend the focus they have had this year on marginal seats campaigning in the election. In the debate between National Education Officer Max Murphy, from NLS, and National LGBTI Officer April Holcombe, from Socialist Alternative, Max argued that the election campaign was “the most radical thing the National Union of Students had ever done”, while April argued the union hadn’t responded strongly enough to Labor’s announcement of support for education cuts. These debates are ongoing, but we were able to come together at the end of the debate to get planning for the upcoming student protests in August.

Wednesday: After their fantastic rally on Monday the SCA students came to EdCon to talk to us about their campaign. Hearing from their experience with management reminded me a lot of the fights we’ve had back here, and when we broke off into state groups for discussion we were able to discuss how we could take on their strategies of militant protests and a hardline approach to management. Thursday: The final day saw debates re-emerge about fighting local university cuts. Examples were raised from campuses like Sydney, where the staff and students had worked together over the last few years to fight staff cuts, and place likes the University of Western Australia where the student union has supported cuts. Being able to hear where campaigns have won and where they crashed and learning from the wealth of experience that we have in activism around the country brought home to me the importance of a national union able to put on conferences like EdCon. While the fight keep Adelaide Uni affiliated to the national union goes on, I hope that our campaigns against faculty cuts will be able to connect up with the national fightback against attacks on education. Tom Gilchrist srcpresident@auu.org.au

ADELAIDE UNIVERSITY UNION NOTICE OF 2016 ELECTION POLLING DATES Monday 29th August to Friday 2nd September 2016 NOMINATIONS Open at 9.00am on Monday 8th August 2016 Close strictly at 4.00pm on Friday 12th August 2016 POSITIONS AVAILABLE FOR ELECTION General Member of the AUU Board (5 positions; each elected for a term of two (2) years) The AUU Board is the governing body of the AUU and is responsible for managing its affairs. The AUU provides funding for activities, events and services on campus, as well as providing support and assistance to affiliated student organisations. The Board meets monthly and has various sub-committees in which Board members are expected to participate. NUS Delegate (7 positions) The National Union of Students is the body that is charged with the responsibility of representing student interests. Delegates will be invited to attend State and National conferences of NUS and are expected to contribute to the development of policy and action at a State and National level.

On Dit Editor (1 position, however up to four (4) students may nominate to be joint editors) Responsible for the publication of the AUU’s student magazine which is published during academic termtime. It is highly desirable that the successful candidate(s) have some knowledge of print media (if you are considering nominating, please find out what is involved). Student Radio Director (1 position, however up to four (4) students may nominate to be joint directors) Responsible for the coordination of the Student Radio programs on Radio Adelaide and the coordination and training of students involved in producing programs. It is highly desirable that the successful candidate(s) have knowledge of producing radio programs (if you are considering nominating, please find out what is involved). TO NOMINATE AS A CANDIDATE 1. Only students currently enrolled at the University of Adelaide who are financial members of the AUU may nominate. Members must be over the age of 18 years, able to hold a liquor licence and be legally able to hold the position of a director of an incorporated association. 2. Nomination forms must be either: a) completed and submitted

online at www.auu.org.au or, where a candidate is unable to submit online, b) obtained from AUU Reception during opening hours and once completed given in person to the Returning Officer or their nominated delegate or mailed to the returning officer via registered post. 3. A policy statement and photograph can be submitted, if desired, online at www.auu.org.au/elections If you are unable to submit your policy statement or photograph as above, please contact the Returning Officer at returningofficer@auu.org. au to arrange an alternative method of submission. • Policy statements must not exceed 200 words including the candidate’s name and the position for which they are standing; any words over 200 will not be published. • No policy statements or photographs will be accepted after close of nominations. • If you are unable to submit your policy statement or photograph as above, please contact the Returning Officer to arrange an alternative method of submission. 4. All AUU Board candidates will be required to attend an information

STUDENT REPRESENTATIVE COUNCIL NOTICE OF 2016 ELECTION session, to be held before the elections, outlining the responsibilities of an AUU director and the structure of the organisation. Nominations received after the close of nominations will not be accepted. POSTAL VOTES FOR THE ELECTION Applications for a postal vote should be made in writing to the Returning Officer, by no later than 4.00pm, Friday 19th August 2016. QUERIES Any questions concerning the Election should be directed to the Returning Officer via returningofficer@auu.org.au or 8313 4406. Published and authorised by the Returning Officer, July 2016. Please recycle.

POLLING DATES Monday 29th August to Friday 2nd September 2016 NOMINATIONS Open at 9.00am on Monday 8th August 2016 Close strictly at 4.00pm on Friday 12th August 2016 POSITIONS AVAILABLE FOR ELECTION SRC President (1 position) – Responsible for the overall coordination and leadership of the SRC and as chief spokesperson for the SRC. General Secretary (1 position) Responsible for calling meetings, taking minutes and general administrative roles. Education Officer (1 position) Acts to highlight issues relating to student’s education and other academic concerns. Welfare Officer (1 position) – Acts to promote the welfare of all students and to promote and strengthen support for students. Women’s Officer (1 position) – Acts as an advocate for women’s interests, a co-ordinator of women’s action on campus. To be eligible to nominate

for this position candidates must identify as a woman. Queer Officer (1 position) – Acts to advocate on behalf of queer students, to promote and strengthen the rights of queer students on campus and to combat discrimination at university and the wider community. To be eligible to nominate for this position candidates must identify as queer. International Student Officer (1 position) Advocates on behalf of students enrolled as international students at the University of Adelaide, and to promote equality and opportunities for international students. To be eligible to nominate for this position candidates must be enrolled as an international student at the University of Adelaide. Postgraduate Student Officer (1 position) Acts to advocate on behalf of postgraduate students of the University of Adelaide. To be eligible to nominate for this position candidates must be currently undertaking postgraduate study at the University of Adelaide. Ethno-Cultural Officer (1 position) –Acts to advocate on behalf of students with a cultural or linguistically diverse background. To be eligible to nominate for this position candidates must identify as having a linguistically or culturally diverse background.

ATSI Officer (1 position) – Acts to advocate on behalf of students who identify as Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander. To be eligible to nominate for this position candidates must identify as being Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander.

General Councillor (8 positions) Acts as an advocate for all students, assists office bearers in the fulfilment of their functions.

Environment Officer (1 position) Acts to advocate for environmental sustainability within the university and broader community.

1. Only students currently enrolled at the University of Adelaide who are financial members of the AUU may nominate. Members must be over the age of 18 years, able to hold a liquor licence and be legally able to hold the position of a director of an incorporated association.

Social Justice Officer (1 position) – Acts to highlight issues relating to social justice. Mature Age Officer (1 position) Acts to advocate on behalf of Mature Aged students. To be eligible to nominate for this position candidates must be over the age of 25. Disability Officer (1 position) – Acts on behalf of students with a disability on campus. To be eligible to nominate for this position candidates must identify as having a disability, mental illness or chronic illness. Rural Officer (1 position) – Acts to advocate on behalf of rural and regional students. To be eligible to nominate for this position candidates must have must lived in a regional or remote area, or have moved from a regional remote area, within the last three (3) years and within six (6) months of commencing their studies at Adelaide University.

TO NOMINATE AS A CANDIDATE

• No policy statements or photographs will be accepted after close of nominations. • If you are unable to submit your policy statement or photograph as above, please contact the Returning Officer to arrange an alternative method of submission. 4. All SRC candidates will be required to attend an information session, to be held before the elections, outlining candidate election campaign responsibilities.

2. Nomination forms may be completed and submitted online at www.auu.org.au ; candidates who are unable to submit online may contact the Returning Officer for available alternatives.

Nominations received after the close of nominations will not be accepted

3. A policy statement and photograph can be submitted, if desired, online at www.auu.org.au/elections If you are unable to submit your policy statement or photograph as above, please contact the Returning Officer at returningofficer@auu. org.au to arrange an alternative method of submission.

Applications for a postal vote should be made in writing to the Returning Officer, by no later than 4.00pm, Friday 19th August 2016.

• Policy statements must not exceed 200 words including the candidate’s name and the position for which they are standing; any words over 200 will not be published.

POSTAL VOTES FOR THE ELECTION

QUERIES Any questions concerning the Election should be directed to the Returning Officer via returningofficer@auu.org. au or 8313 4406. Published and authorised by the Returning Officer, July 2016.

WE WANT YOU TO EDIT ON DIT IN 2017 Have you always dreamed of a life of fame and glamour? Do you want to be recognied on campus and have your face on big posters? Do you want strangers to stop you on your way to class just to tell you how cool they think you are? Do you want to be making one of the most respected student magazines in Australia? Become editor of On Dit in 2017 TO HAVE ALL THIS AND MORE! Come to our information night where we’ll tell you all about how to get there. We’ll explain everything from what it takes to make a great a magazine, what you’ll gain and sacrif ice, how to run in the student elections with a good campaign, and everything else you’re wondering about. Snacks on us. Bring your friends. Friday, July 29 at 5pm - 7pm On Dit Off ice (Level 4 Union House)

WHATâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S ON

LOVE MUSIC?

Graduate Singers Across the Dark Saturday 6th August 7:30-8:45pm Elder Hall Soweto Gospel Choir Friday 29th July 7:30-9:30pm Norwood Concert Hall

SERIOUS FUN

HUNGRY?

Waite in the Spotlight

The Big Lunch 2016

Friday 29th July 2-5pm University of Adelaide, Waite Campus

Sunday 7th August 11:30am-3pm Adelaide Central Markets

An afternoon of TEDx-style talks celebrating the diversity of research at the Waite and exploring science, plants and the future of food. Tickets are limited. Reminiscences of the Great War - A Flanders Fields Poppy Trail 2016 Exhibition Exhibition showing until the 26th August Rare Books and Special Collections, Barr Smith Library

DO YOU LIKE US? On Dit Issue 9 Deadline 5th August Send us your writing, your artwork and your love letters.

From the destruction of Belgium to the victory in 1918, this exhibition will take the viewer through the suffering and day to day life of the ordinary soldiers, the modernisation of guns, transports and the nursing stations, and the heart breaking messages of soldiers and their families.

Book a table with friends and enjoy a gourmet feast. Tickets are on the expensive side (around $100 a head), but all the money goes to support Big Issue. If you want to splurge on a fancy meal, this is one to splurge on.

Foodi Walking Tours Do you want to sneak into all of the new food spots around? Check out Foodi walking tours! Upcoming tours include: Cupcake and Dessert tour Raw food tour Craft beer tour Food Night Safari Check out their website foodi.com.au for upcoming tours.

ARE YOU A BIT OF A KNOW IT ALL? DO YOU KNOW WHAT’S ON BEFORE EVERYONE ELSE? KEEP US IN THE LOOP, EMAIL US AT ONDIT@ADEL AIDE.EDU.AU AND TELL US ABOUT THE NEXT BAKE SALE, MEETING, PRIVATE LECTURE OR CLUB EVENT.

CULTURE HITW

MARKETS

FEELING ARTSY?

What’s it Worth? Discovery Day

Round She Goes Fashion Market

SALA Festival ‘Second Nature’ Opening Night

Wednesday 3rd August 10am-4:30pm Carrick Hill

Saturday 30th July 10am-3pm Woodville Town Hall Entry $2

Friday 5th August 7pm-9:30pm 174 Wright St Adelaide

Want to live your own personal Antiques Roadshow? Have your personal (or your family’s) collection valued or gather round and ooh at the nice old things. Harsh Realities: Andrew Ellery @ Spoke N Slurred

French Books on Wheels

Sunday 31st July 5pm-9pm The Coffee Pot

Saturday 30th July 9am-1pm Alliance Française d’Adelaïde

Open mic night with free entry, $5 beer, exploring the dichotomies of disadvantage among present-day Australia.

A one-stop shop for all your French books, DVDs, CDs, magazines, boardgames, etc.

An Exhibition organized by the Adelaide University Art History Club, featuring young artists from across South Australia.

SAY HELLO! Email: ondit@adelaide.edu.au Facebook: @onditmagazine Twitter: @onditmagazine Instagram: @onditmag In Person: in our warm dry office at Level 4. Union House. Come say hi, we have a lifetime’s supply of tea

VOX POP

ANDREW

SEAMUS

BRYDIE

4TH YR, MEDIA/ARTS

3RD YR, MEDIA

4TH YR, HISTORY

1. Dragonball Z.

1. Dragon Booster.

1. Round the Twist.

2. The Shire.

2. X-Men, assuming I have a power!

2. Hogwarts, always.

3. F - Buffy Summers, M Bathsheba Everdene from Madding Crowd, K - Agent Smith from The Matrix. 4. Probably something by Neil Young. Maybe Hey Hey My My from Rust Never Sleeps. 5. I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t really know memes.

3. F - Myself, M - Mr Burns, K - Pocahontas .

3. F - Loki, M - Marry Poppins, K - Umbridge.

4. Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger by Daft Punk.

4. Picking one song is impossible, but something by Bowie.

5. Aliens! (Scientist craxy hair).

5. WADDUP HERE COME DAT BOI!

with

1. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVOURITE T V SHOW AS A CHILD? 2. IF YOU COULD LIVE IN ONE FICTIONAL WORLD, WHERE WOULD YOU LIVE AND WHY? 3. FM K THREE FICTIONAL CHAR ACTERS. 4. IF YOU COULD ONLY LISTEN TO ONE SONG FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, WHAT WOULD IT BE? 5. WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE MEME?

JORDAN

LUKE

9TH YR, PIZZA

N O T N ATA L I E

4TH YR, SCIENCE

GRAD. DIP. ART HIST.

1. Mythbusters.

1. Daria.

2. Azeroth.

2. Utopia.

3. F - Lyanna Stark, M Elia Martell, K - Robert Baratheon.

3. F - those fresh fit as swimming boys in ABC’s Barracuda, M - April Ludgate from Parks and Recreation, K - Jon Snow he can’t act for shit.

4. Anything Generation.

from

5. Leeroy Jenkins.

Girls

4. First movement of Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony in C Minor is a cracker that’s also well composed. 5. Classical Art Memes. Have you seen the WWJD one? That one.

1. I cried every time that my Thomas the Tank Engine pillow case got washed make of that what you will. 2. The Harry Potter world. Always. 3. F - Danny Castellano from Mindy Project before he gets abusive, M - Scully and Mulder, K - Folores Umbridge. 4. Gregorian chant. 5. The ones when the eds are crying because they forgot to interview anyone for vox pop.

NEW CONSOLE GENERATION? SORT OF WORDS BY: ZAC BR ANDON-SMITH

The Electronic Entertainment Expo (or E3) has recently concluded in the States, and a number of announcements have videogame fans asking questions about the future of the industry. Chief among these are Sony, Microsoft and Nintendo’s new game consoles looming just over the horizon and their potential threat to game collections and bank balances. I know they gave me pause. So what do the announcements actually mean for gamers? In the case of Sony’s Playstation 4 Neo system and the Microsoft Xbox One Slim the answer is quite simple: these are more “upgrades” to existing hardware than completely new consoles. The Neo will be identical to the current PS4 but with the capacity for greater processing power and 4K graphics. It’s largely for those who haven’t yet bought into the current generation or those with a lot of disposable income and a penchant for zealous upgrading. The One S is ostensibly just a

redesigned One in a more compact package as many other consoles (primarily the previous Playstation models) have done in the past. Luckily these two consoles will launch without the tone-deaf moneygrubbing attitude of their parent systems and will feature backwards compatibility with other PS4 and Xbox One games. Where the complexity starts is with the other two consoles: Nintendo’s NX and Microsoft’s “Project Scorpio” (yes, Microsoft has two and yes, it’s really called that). Firstly the NX was mysteriously not discussed at E3 despite being leaked over six months ago and many previewed games clearly having been graphically overhauled to accommodate the system’s enormous leap in power over its predecessor the Wii U. It is almost certain however that the NX is coming in 2017 and, unlike the PS4 Neo and XOneS, will represent a brand new Nintendo console. Presumably the NX release is a quick-fire response to the apparent failure of the Wii U due to rapid

withdrawal of third-party support for the system post-launch. This was a disappointing turn since the Wii U, unlike its generational competitors at the time, actually made strides to innovate and lacked the cynical edge of Sony’ and Microsoft’s consoles. Fortunately Nintendo is slated to burst into the new era of gaming with a powerful system, even if very little is known for sure right now. Project Scorpio, on the other hand, is set to release near the end of 2016 and is big ugly ‘STOP’ sign for anyone who was thinking of buying an Xbox One. Even the One S seems a silly investment if a more powerful console is right around the corner. Scorpio will feature 4K graphics like the Neo and be a definitively new console. It seems to be designed with the burgeoning virtual reality (VR) gaming market in mind and is a very up-market console by every appearance. Unfortunately, like the NX, not much is certain about Project Scorpio and I can’t help but feel that Microsoft completely buggered up their marketing strategy by firing their entire load (of console releases) far too early. Zac Brandon-Smith loves writing, reading, living, loving and recording podcasts about films and TV. Follow him @TheZBSmith if you like his content.

THE TIMES, THEY ARE A CHANGIN’ WORDS BY: CIANA CHIN ART WORK BY: MODUS

Music consumption has traditionally always been absorbed by the listeners only during live concerts or in music halls. With the evolution of technology, we now have the opportunity to consume music through other methods, like with the iPod, Sony Walkman or CDs. According to a 2014 survey conducted by Nielsen, up to 75% of Americans choose to listen to music, while only 73% watch television. There’s no denying that music consumption has been an integral part of our lives since we were young. I’m sure that when we were growing up, we were consuming music while watching our favorite artists on channels like MTV and Channel V without being aware that we were doing so. Music is a borderless world and, as such, we are able to continually consume music, no matter where our geographic location. Music festivals, like Coachella (in the United States), WOMADelaide (closer to home), and Stereosonic, all provide an array of music genres for consumption. Singers, mainstream

and independent alike, also do their part of facilitating that process. There are additionally various streaming devices for us to consume our music from, such as Spotify, iTunes and YouTube. Personally, there are various ways I consume my music. While I’m not a huge fan of music festivals due to the large crowd, I consume my music from Spotify (I even have a paying subscription for that!) and YouTube. It is, however, through discussions with friends about the trending songs and the latest release that provide the greatest form of consumption for me. Since I don’t have fixed genres or favorite artists (it varies from Skeeter Davis to Taylor Swift and Avenged Sevenfold to Muse) that I listen to, I find that what I absorb in the music discussion helps me to shortlist my types of music consumption. The way I consume my music is also connected to my mood. If I’m feeling exasperated, I’ll listen to the darker songs, such as Avenged Seveonfold’s ‘Nightmare’ or ‘Welcome to the Family.’ If I’m however reminiscent,

it’s Skeeter Davis’ ‘It Only Hurts for a While’ or Rod Stewart’s ‘First Cut is the Deepest.’ If I’m listening to music on YouTube, I tend to abuse the replay button and replay it multiple times. I’m not sure why, but this method of consumption stabilises the emotions. It provides a healthy way for me to expunge the negative emotions that have silently crept in. My music consumption also derives from the radio (read: On Dit’s sister, Radio Adelaide). For me, what is most important in consuming music is whether I’m able to relate to the lyrics and the emotions being expressed in the songs. The energy that I get from consuming music on streaming devices and the radio does its part to keep me on the go. It prevents me from falling asleep – and this has worked well whenever I needed to complete assignments or to revise for exams. Our consumption will only increase, especially with the greater accessibility to music now. It is also ingrained in our daily lives. Ciana is a music lover who loves nothing more than a discussion on politics, law, music and current affairs. She can be contacted via her Twitter: @ thetempremental.

REBOOTING HOLLYWOOD: GHOSTBUSTERS AND TOKEN CASTING WORDS BY: AMY NANCARROW ART WORK BY: EMILY HART THE NAME’S BOND. JANE BOND. As the race for the next Bond heats up, a plucky fan put forth X-Files and The Fall star Gillian Anderson as a contender for the first ever female Bond. This mock casting sent the digital sphere into a frenzy, with some coming out in support for an Anderson campaign and others lamenting the thought of a female super-spy to fill Daniel Craig’s shoes. Truly dedicated fans just wanted Bond left alone, and free of female casting just for the sake of it. This furore is nothing new, with female remakes recently causing quite the stir in Hollywood. With the all-female Ghostbusters remake released in July, cries of tokenism and forced casting are rife within the industry. However, I pose this question: could tokenistic casting actually do some long-term good for Hollywood’s leading ladies? To be fair, most claim that their issue with the new Ghostbusters stems from the fact that the film is being remade in the first place, let alone with a female cast front and centre. It can be universally agreed that the Bill Murray and Dan Akroyd-helmed original was so iconic and fantastic, that anyone who attempted to reboot the franchise was bound to cause a stir and send fans fuming. In this case, it’s Bridesmaids and Freaks and Geeks director Paul Feig, who has

accepted the challenge. The press surrounding the film has been mostly negative, despite its blockbuster stars and solid comedic director. The all-female cast has been accused as being a gimmick, and I’m going to level with you here: there’s almost no denying that this is the case. The casting of the four women does probably have something to do with the fact that they simply are women. However, all four are prominent comediennes, have been involved with US sketch show Saturday Night Live, or have worked extensively with Feig in the past. There are plenty of women out there that could have been cast to fulfil the ‘token’ roles, however the current cast are funny, experienced actresses. Besides this, does it really matter if the lead parts are played by women? With the gender pay gap a prominent issue in Hollywood, and the lack of diversity in an industry dominated by middleto-upper class white men, perhaps forced casting could pave the way for more stories written, directed, and acted by women. Recently, there have been numerous superstar actresses that have dominated Hollywood’s landscape: Jennifer Lawrence, Shailene Woodley, Rebel Wilson, Anna Kendrick and Alicia Vikander are just a few. These actresses have

won Oscars, starred in multiple blockbuster films per year, and have seen their fame explode throughout the tabloids. So the question perhaps should be asked: why is it that the idea of these same women taking on roles which have previously been played by men, be so abhorrent to so many fans? While tokenism may seem corny and even insulting now, perhaps the ‘female remakes’ that are coming out of Hollywood could do some long-term good. If there is a greater saturation of female-centric films on the market, audiences are more likely to get used to the idea of female stories with female casts. It may be sad that oversaturation could be the only way to achieve this, but perhaps it’s a case of the ends justifying the means. As a woman who loves film, is a feminist, and once aspired to be a screenwriter, a trip to the movies is often unsatisfying to see the same old tropes trotted out for female characters. Films that are written by women and/or feature women are out there, but do not get the exposure which they so desperately need. In my view, if films like Ghostbusters pave the way for future film equality, then they are more than welcome in the cinema. Amy is going to give the new Ghostbusters a chance, and thinks all of you should, too.

HALAL SNACK PACKS: WORDS BY: LUR ALGHUR ABI

Not so long ago, the complete and utter mess that is our Federal election gave Pauline Hanson and her One Nation party a few seats in the Senate, bad news for any East Asian, Indigenous, gay, Indian, Muslim, African, or Australian person. Upon her scarcely celebrated victory, Senator Sam Dastyari offered to take her out for a halal snack pack in celebration. Dastyari’s invitation was met with horror so clearly visible on Hanson’s expressions to the point that one might have been worried her face was about to fall off in disgust. Her response verbatim was: ‘It’s not happening, not interested in halal, thank you. I’m not interested in it. I don’t believe in halal certification. I’ll make my point very clear there. 98 per cent of Australians don’t want halal certification.’ As an almost-Australian who likes nothing more than deep-fried, overly salted potato chips to be blanketed by bits of overoiled, overspiced animal flesh drizzled with sugary god-knows-what’s-in-them sauces, I belong to the 2%.

It’s actually less about the halal certification, and more about the goodness of ethnic foods. Not to say that white people food isn’t great (baked kale excluded, lamingtons 100% included), but ethnic food has so many good things going on at the same time, that it’s really too good to forsake. The tragedy (or the comedy) is that while Pauline Hanson, her One Nation fuckwits and the United Patriots Front’s further fuckwitted fuckwits is that while they protest against Muslim migration to Australia, they still realize that Middle-Eastern food is one of the best results of migration. Blair Cottrell, the white supremacist behind the United Patriots Front, was spotted last year ordering food from a halal kebab shop in Melbourne. I can’t blame him for forgetting how much he hates us to enjoy our food. I actually wish he would do that more often. Maybe after reaching a certain quota of kebabs he will come to appreciate we’ve contributed too much to this country to be expelled.

HOW POP FOOD TAKES US TO PARADISE ART WORK BY: PAULINE HANSON

At this stage, these foods have become an essential component of the ‘Aussie’ lifestyle. Non-British and non-Indigenous people have been here for too long to wipe their culture out. It would be dangerously stupid to try and do that while this culture brings us together. The strength of food in fostering cross-cultural harmony isn’t limited to Australia. In fact, in Iraq, people disagree all the time over religion and politics. We even disagree over what day of the month it is (I am serious. Literally). There are so many ethnicities and religions in my country that it’s almost impossible to prevent this. However, even though members from my family belong to three separate religions, all their disagreements are put aside when dolma is served in a 1-meterdiameter tray. Just like a halal snack pack, dolma is packed with carbs, oil, spices, and meat sacrificed to a deity you probably don’t believe in, and that’s okay. Perhaps dolma is one of the few elements in our culture that remain the same no

matter what war happens, and no matter who’s cooking it. No matter who’s the president, and whether we like him or not, dolma gives us a reason to gather around one table and enjoy the food too much to talk about politics. When halal snack packs, a magical creation of the 21st century are made popular by politicians, Facebook groups, or the culture around us in general, what that’s really saying is that as long as we’re eating each other’s food, we respect each other. If halal certification is the price to pay to enjoy a halal snack pack, kabab, dolma, hommos or baklava, then so be it. Lur doesn’t even like halal snack packs, but will defend to death your right to eat one.

F F

O BRAND WORDS BY: NICOLE WEDDING ART WORK BY: ROSALYNA AMES In one of his podcast episodes last year, novelist Bret Easton Ellis talked about the moments just after writing American Psycho. Seeking a second opinion, he found himself defending his repeated inclusion of brand names throughout the text; people warning that the novel would be out of date within a decade. Ellis ignored the advice, and we all know how well that worked out for him. While it’s true that many of the brands featured in the novel don’t exist anymore, to be an accurate indictment of culture it always needed to be comprehensive - and the ‘80s just happened to provide a lot to work with. Our obsession with brands and branding has continued to grow since then, with newer occupations like ‘Brand Strategist’ emerging to become vital to the success of companies. We know by now that we commodify our entire lives, and we’re generally ok with it. Sure, we might laugh at the notion of a “personal brand” (do a quick image search of the phrase), but we know we only create them to survive. Enter the anti-brand. Perhaps the company that best exemplifies the movement is Muji, the Japanese retail giant founded in the late ‘70s. Call it Bauhaus or boring, but their “no label” philosophy (from ‘Mujirushi Ryohin’, or ‘No Brand Quality Goods’) has remained

incredibly successful. Muji products imitate the simplicity of generic brands - think: brown notebooks, white bowls and wooden furniture. It’s notable that Muji existed in the same time frame portrayed in Ellis’ novel at all, let alone have preceded it. American Psycho speaks to us by capturing the zeitgeist of the ‘80s; Muji, on the other hand, makes an effort to be entirely free of the constraints of time. Conspicuous branding will always have its place, but Muji represents a significant—and growing—cultural movement that values simplicity above all else. Muji is your favourite converted warehouse café; it’s Beyoncé/Drake/everyone dropping albums without lead-in marketing; it’s the practice of calling a dish “deconstructed” when the chef never put it together in the first place. Muji doesn’t make enemies, nor would it dream of taking sides. The irony, of course, is the quiet effort that goes into the development an anti-brand. Just because there’s no polo player on a shirt or quatrefoils on a handbag doesn’t mean a large number of people haven’t tried to make the products look effortless. Sure, Muji is beautiful—and its minimalist approach has practical value—but the real selling point is how inoffensive it is. Rarely would a person look at a Muji product and bring up the topic with friends, even if they themselves have a kitchen stocked with plain-white Muji tableware. It’s not that people don’t want to be caught out knowing what the brand is (it’s not embarrassing to have Muji products), it’s that the brand itself discourages discussion. It makes sense that consumers are drawn to the anti-brand, and particularly so in the case of millennials. We grew up as social

media became a legitimate parallel universe, and we accordingly construct our worlds, both IRL and URL, with great care. “Personal branding” in the context of the digital economy is both personal (‘What will my friends think of me?’) and a necessity (‘I want to get headhunted on LinkedIn.’) With this constantly on our minds it’s understandable we need a break, and the popularity of simple design reflects this. Homewares and clothing might not have been a predictable outlet for disconnect, but the disconnect itself was always predictable. Of course, if the anti-brand appears to be selling nothing, it must be selling possibility. The narrative is as much The American Dream as it ever was – only, the dream is now tempered by the realities of ongoing conflict, rising youth unemployment and environmental degradation. The anti-brand is conscious not to be flashy in the circumstances, but it still offers the chance to be part of a collective. Is the effort in vain? Perhaps. But maybe, by trying to change our relationship with material goods, we’re really just trying to find ourselves – and that can only be a good thing. Nicole is trying to figure out what her brand is before she graduates.

POOP CULTURE WORDS BY: DARCY MOUN KLEY ART WORK BY: JACK LOWE

For those who haven’t heard of the genre of video dubbed the YouTube Poop (YTP), it can be difficult to define, as there are such a vast number of subgenres. Broadly, the community of people who create these videos, colloquially known as ‘poopers’, share certain identifying techniques. One of the crucial elements of the YTP is the use of audio or visual clips from parts of pop culture, be they from political debates, anime, cartoons, advertisements, movies or memes. The poopers manipulate these clips using various video editing techniques. This all combines into an absurd mash up of pop culture that is made primarily for the amusement of the creator or their community. Now, it would be lying for me to say that I thought all YTPs were art, but I believe they can be, and those that are can say more about the trajectory of our culture of communication than might at first appear. That we live in a remix culture is self-evident – we are inundated on the internet with memes and videos all referencing, in some way or another, elements of other works. The fact that YTPs remix sources that are already existing means that they are essentially derivative, and this is in fact a crucial characteristic of the genre. The original source, something that is recognisable, has a sort of power over us in that it represents something greater than the thing itself; SpongeBob represents the TV show, which represents a part of the viewer’s childhood. When one is watching a danielradcliffe777 video, the images one is familiar with are distorted to the point that only the very general idea of that image is recognisable. It is the juxtaposition of the recognisable element, ingrained into our culture, being separated from its source and placed in an entirely new context that gives the clip any kind of meaning. This remix culture of sourcing elements of pop culture in the creation of something completely new realizes the prediction of the post-modern text. Roland Barthes, a French poststructuralist writer, described the postmodern text in his 1967 essay ‘The Death of the Author,’ as ‘a multidimensional space in which a variety of writings, none of them original, blend and clash […], a tissue of quotations

drawn from the innumerable centres of culture.’ This idea of remixing was elaborated on by the philosopher Jacques Derrida, in his 1966 lecture ‘Structure, Sign and Play in the Discourse of the Human Sciences.’ He supported the idea of a new way of writing in which there is no point where the evolution of language ceases and each word finally has one fixed meaning. Instead, meaning is always occurring and receding and there is no end point. These post-structuralist ideas provide a framework for those of the remix culture. These days however, our ways of communicating have shifted from text to a more audio and visual sphere. We send each other emojis to convey how we are feeling and we have developed apps like SnapChat, in which images are the primary form of communication. This development requires those ideas of the evolution of communication to be taken a step further into the realm of video and audio editing. Perhaps it is a symptom of the culture that ‘millennials’ grew up in; the incredibly rapid advance in technology has made entertainment and life, from as close as ten years ago, distant to us in a way that has not been felt by any generation before us. On top of this, pop culture moves much faster now, so the remix spawns and respawns, becoming a continuous arrival of the new and modern that extends indefinitely. This interconnected community of poopers exemplifies the theory of the dynamic nature of language, with their individual interpretations of the same source material and the exchanging and reworking of each other’s YTPs. There is even a ‘game’ in the YTP community called YouTube Poop Tennis, wherein two participants take turns reworking one video source, trying to outdo the other in remixing and adding to it each time. But what is the result of the combination of remixing and popular culture? The remix seems to communicate something about our modern culture and the ideas that surround it. It can be seen as something of a metaphor for the shift in how we engage with information. While with traditional media we were limited solely to passive

consumption, the proliferation of technology used in video editing has made viewers able to participate in the creative process and manipulate the source material. This shift in the onus of creativity has blurred the lines between author and consumer, and has begun to challenge our ideas of authorship and ownership. To paraphrase Michel Foucault, What Is An Author anymore? Another effect of the shift from traditional media is the way in which we receive information. Where once we were provided with a relatively cogent narrative, we now receive information in fragmented pieces and one personâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s experience on the internet can be completely different to anotherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s. In light of these bits of information we each form our own personal philosophy, piecing together these parts in an attempt to make a whole. YTP does the complete opposite of this. It is notable that these creations generally have similar properties to a NeoDadaist work of art. Neo Dada, a term applied to artists such as Jasper Johns and Robert Rauschenberg, was a movement in art known for its usage of popular media and found objects, as well as its focus on performance art. Certain key ideas of this movement were its usage of elements from popular culture and the emphasis on the viewer as part of the artistic process. The pooper uses pop culture sources, such as memes and TV, and explores the realms of the medium of audio-visual creation, simultaneously mocking and celebrating its sources. There is generally no plot or central idea behind a YTP and the video is essentially a collection of random bits of information and memes, formed into a kind of Frankensteinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Monster of unrestrained chaos, which, many people would agree, is a fair representation of the general experience on the internet. So given the evolving ideas of authorship, and the proliferation of meaning inherent in technological advance (to again paraphrase Foucault), maybe we will never have an author who becomes the voice of our generation, and maybe that is fitting in this culture where authorship is becoming more and more redundant. These YTPs, however, embody the randomness with which we consume information on the internet and the importance of the remix in modern communication, and may be the best representation of our generational experience. Darcy is constantly asking herself: Where is that large automobile?

ARTIST PROFILE: ANZELLE DE KOCK

Anzelle de Kock is a second year media student at the University of Adelaide. After discovering last year that marketing wasn’t for her, she changed her major to graphic design. She is the Head of Events and PR for the Adelaide University Media Association (AUMA) and has also been asked to do some graphic design projects for the group. Her artwork has previously been published in the Elle Dit edition this year. Anzelle’s first experience with digital art applications was in high school when she learnt to use Adobe Photoshop. She has since used Photoshop in her spare time to edit herself in movie posters, wedding photos with her true love (Drake), and on the front cover of Vogue (changed Kim Kardashian and Kanye West to herself and Drake). Anzelle is a self-taught Adobe Illustrator user, and has also recently taught herself the basics of Adobe After Effects to experiment with animation. In January this year, Anzelle made her website public after working on it for 6 months. Most of Anzelle’s inspiration comes from pop culture. Always in the know about the latest celebrity gossip and film and TV updates are one of her many skills, which is why we asked her to contribute her work for our Pop Culture edition. Like many of us, she isn’t sure what she will do once she graduates, but hopes it will be something fun like designing album covers for her favourite musical talents or to work for Disney and Pixar.

For more artwork from Anzelle: Follow her on Instagram: @anzelledekock19 And check out her website: www.anzelledekock.com

WARNING: THE NIGHT IS DARK AND FULL OF SPOILERS WORDS BY: EMMA FERR ARO ART WORK BY: STEPHEN L ANG OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER: THIS SHOULDN’T COME AS A SURPRISE TO ANYONE, BUT THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS SPOILERS A spoiler is when you find out – either deliberately, or accidentally – the ‘big’ outcome/plot twist of a television episode, movie, or book, before you’ve actually seen it, and ultimately, the text is ‘ruined’. Sometimes, people intentionally spoil something for themselves. Personally, it happens when I type the name of the text into a Google search, and read Wikipedia summaries that tell me the entire plotline. Within five minutes, I know the text without ever actually reading or viewing it. But spoilers in themselves have become a form of text: there are websites dedicated to episode recaps, forum discussions of the movie’s plot twist, the scenes are made into gifs, and so on. And because of the way in which media is distributed, and consumed, spoiling something for yourself almost becomes unavoidable, especially when you actively choose to seek out the content.

Let’s use Game of Thrones as an example. Every Monday night, after work, I would watch Game of Thrones on a streaming website, and immediately be bombarded with available spoilers on other various forms of media – ‘thoughts I had while watching episode 3’, ‘questions I had after watching episode 7’, ‘why Sansa Stark is the true Queen Of The North’, etc. After the season had ended, articles are still being published outlining what audiences desire from the next season. These articles often come with spoiler alert warnings. But their content, in themselves, are essentially, spoilers – because they provide information on the episode’s content. These spoilers are accessible to people who don’t even watch/give a shit about GoT, and they can be informed about the show. (Though, honestly, the only people reading these articles are GoT fans who want to contribute or be entertained by something they already know about.) But it’s accidental spoilers that have the biggest impact. Someone will tell you what you didn’t want to know without meaning to, you inadvertently read something online, and before you know it, it’s been ruined. That’s the thing about spoilers – they can’t be un-ruined.

You can’t delete the knowledge from your brain. People will go out of their way to avoid spoilers. ‘TAG YOUR SPOILERS’, bloggers on Tumblr scream, because they’ve blacklisted any mention of Game of Thrones. ‘If anyone spoils this, I will – insert violently imaginative threat here’, ‘I can’t believe in 2016 I have to tell people to tag their spoilers.’ People will avoid going online. But spoilers transcend past the Internet into everyday life. For example, after the penultimate episode of GoT, The Battle of the Bastards, I messaged my friend asking if he’d seen the episode. He replied, ‘I’m at work, I’ll watch it after. DON’T TELL ME ANYTHING.’ (He said it in a ‘please don’t ruin this for me’ tone, and not in a, ‘ho, don’t do it’ tone.) This seems fairly reasonable. We want to be surprised. And if we’re not a jerk, we won’t ruin the surprise for others. Honestly, although I had almost wanted to know what happened in The Battle of the Bastards because the unknown gave me moderate anxiety, I would’ve been pissed off had it been spoiled. But when is a spoiler no longer a spoiler?

Is there some sort of timestamp? If I casually mention, ‘oh, hey, remember when Ned Stark got beheaded, and – fan theory here –’ and you get angry at me because you haven’t finished season one yet, is it really my fault that I’ve inadvertently spoiled something you were maybe, possibly, most likely, someday intending to watch? It was six years ago. Or is it when a spoiler is not even categorised as a spoiler, but just general knowledge? Darth Vader is Luke’s father. Bruce Willis was dead the whole time. Ross and Rachel end up together. Snape kills Dumbledore. Augustus dies. Rosebud was Kane’s childhood sled. Tyler Durden doesn’t exist.

read/seen the text, I found out these spoilers.

I’ve never seen the original Star Wars, The Sixth Sense, or Fight Club (I know.) I watched Citizen Kane in Year 11 English. I’ve read The Fault In Our Stars, but I haven’t seen the movie. I found out that Snape killed Dumbledore in Year 5, before I read the book. Whether or not I’d

Should people get over spoilers?

Because these spoilers are in a whole other category: they’re not even spoilers anymore, they’re facts. They’re part of our cultural literary history. Their respective texts are cult favorites, texts which have formed the basis for following texts, themes, outcomes, and plot twists. They’ve become part of people’s lives, something that’s fundamentally important, that they consider part of their personality – their favourite book, favourite quote, a fandom they’re in, a character they cosplay. They’re not spoilers. They are, verifiably, general knowledge.

Well, not necessarily. This feels like a really first world thing to say, but everyone’s should be allowed to find out the big scene, outcome, or plot twist, by themselves. The lengths to which people avoid spoilers

is admittedly a little ridiculous, but really, people should know to either: a) tag their spoilers, or b) not talk about spoilers at least until an appropriate amount of time has passed, in which case it’s the person’s fault they haven’t been on the ball, and even then, if they ask you not to say anything, then DON’T. But when a spoiler has become so culturally relevant that it becomes general knowledge, I don’t think knowing it can ‘ruin’ a text for you. You can’t blame someone for telling you something when there’s the expectation that pretty much everyone already knows. And honestly, if your life is defined by whether or not something’s spoiled, you really need to sort out your priorities.

Emma thinks that Lyanna Mormont is the real MVP of Westeros, and that – spoiler alert – R+L=J.

CHANGING THE CHANNEL WORDS BY: BROOKE LLOYD

I guess I could begin this by saying it was my fault. After all, I’d just finished re-watching BBC’s Sherlock. My expectations were higher and more twisted than Benedict Cumberbatch’s flowing curls. I willingly picked up the TV remote that Sunday night. Pressing the remote control button, I hoped something,anything, would fill the void of the everlasting Sherlock hiatus. Instead, in true Holmes style, I made a bitter deduction: everything is ordinary. Those of us who still choose to watch free to air television are considered behind on trends. I have never used Netflix because I know I would not get the proper usage out of it, nor would my parents have gotten their money’s worth out of me having Foxtel as a child just so I could sit binge-watching Rugrats. You could argue that I have inflicted this first world peril upon myself. While free to air television isn’t as memorable as it once was, I like to believe it will eventually redeem itself.

Now that isn’t to dismiss the dreadful viewing free to air viewers currently suffer. There are now twenty six channels on free to air, including all of the HD counterparts. You would like to imagine a wide range of new and exciting viewing. However, many of these new channels instead play hour-long infomercials, regular reruns of old series, or films. We free to air viewers also have a lot cooking and renovating shows that we are gradually tiring of watching. Thrown into this unfavourable mix are commercials that recycle over and over. I could start rambling about their incessant tunes, or the length of ad breaks themselves, but I’d like to instead address the ads for the internationally sourced programs that air months before the program itself. You see, Australian networks do this bizarre thing where they claim every international show is also number one in the U.S. I mean, how can we take their word for it if they don’t air the show until six months after they start advertising it? We won’t wait for them to air the show. In fact, we’ll in the very least search the show on

IMDb, and discover that it only has a 6.4 star rating out of 10. ‘But how can free to air TV keep going?’ You ask, huddled in a cave of blankets with Netflix playing in the background. The answer is new programming. Rest assured that after delving deep into the mass of scrappy repeated programming, ideas and annoying tunes, there are new shows too. Mainstream TV offers many new shows such as Kiss Bang Love, and an upcoming Australian rendition of Survivor. Alternatively, the ABC and SBS offer a range of innovative programming to suit everyone’s needs. While it is questionable that new programming will be successful (namely Kiss Bang Love), I’m clutching the remote hopeful that free to air TV will eventually evolve from being ordinary.

Brooke is a couch enthusiast who spends most of her weekends hoping she doesn’t have to sit through repeats of Masterchef Australia.

NOTHING WAS THE SAME WORDS BY: BILLY VAWSER ART WORK BY: MATILDA BRISTOW

2007. A revolutionary year for pop culture. So many things started or happened in 2007. Let’s start off with something that happened on the 14th of October 2007. A reality show about a upper-class normal family, with good Christian values (or so we assumed) aired on the E! Channel and it was a TV show that has changed the face of the world as we know. It was Keeping Up with the Kardashians. Does anyone remember that in the first couple of seasons when it was just about a good Christian family who ran a fashion boutique and a children’s clothing shop next door. They had lots of dramas, but through the grace of God and their god-like behinds they overcame their struggles as a white upper-class family living in Los Angeles and now the Kardashians have changed the world. They’re not just household names, they’re like non-royalty royalty. A lot of people worship the ground the Kardashians walk on. I am one of these people and I regret nothing. 2007 was the year that Britney Spears had her meltdown, a result of constant hounding from the paparazzi, peer pressure from her friends and the Hollywood system, and her divorce from Kevin Federline. Everyone wanted to take advantage of her, and bless her innocent heart, and they did. Bringing us to the meltdown. People remember small snippets, like Britney bashing a car in with an umbrella, Britney shaving her own head, Britney’s wigs afterwards, the brilliant album that was released during the meltdown Blackout. But there’s a happy ending

because look at Britney now. A responsible, mature mother of two, showgirl extraordinaire. I mean, she doesn’t sing anymore, but she lip-syncs well! What else happened in 2007? High School Musical 2 was released and we were all blessed with the Sharpay Evans sung anthem ‘Fabulous.’ Hilary Duff released her album Dignity in March – which is still ahead of the game in terms of musical aesthetic. The double disc Hannah Montana 2/Meet Miley Cyrus album was released in June and we were all eternally blessed with jams like ‘See You Again’ and ‘Start All Over.’ Carly Rae Jepsen, the person who created one of the greatest albums of ALL TIME – everyone, please listen to Emotion by Carly Rae – it’s an 80’s technicolour dream brought into the 21st century. I joined Facebook in the September of 2007. I was 10 years old. I started off with a fake name because I didn’t want my mum to find out I had Facebook – so Ryan Douglas Rita Poalaya it was. Then she found out and just let me have Facebook. Now social media is a passion of mine. I’m just so honoured that I got to live through 2007, the year that changed pop culture for what it is today.

Billy Vawser is awesome, amazing, and quite honestly a great human being. Follow him on Instagram: @billyvawser.

MACGYVER: THE HERO WE NEED WORDS BY: ROB L AWRY ART WORK BY: JOHN HARGREAVES MACGYVER IS THE HERO WE NEED. LET’S HOPE HE’S THE ONE WE’RE GETTING. The other day I was struggling to open a box. You know the type with that hard plastic packaging? I didn’t have any scissors at hand, but logic prevailed. Realistically, I knew there had to be something in my immediate vicinity, some tool, that I could use. I looked no further than my pin board to find exactly what I needed: a push pin. Beautiful. I owe my resourcefulness to MacGyver, the classic 1985-1992 TV series starring Richard Dean Anderson and his hair. If you know of the series, it’s probably through Patty and Selma Bouvier or as some other punchline. The verb ‘MacGyver’ means to improvise a solution using whatever’s at hand, and in popular culture, the exact nature of this is often misconstrued. Let me set the record straight. MacGyver, the man, can’t just combine two random things and create something totally unrealistic. He can’t make a space shuttle from a matchbook and some duct tape. In one episode, he does make a flare using bamboo, a funnel and some high potency fertiliser, but there’s always some basic (if exaggerated) scientific principle behind his solutions. In fact, in Season Two’s ‘Three For The Road’ episode, MacGyver’s attempt to jump start his car with a paperclip outright fails. At the end of the day, Mac is still human like you or me only better. I think he presents something we’re sorely missing from telev ision today.

To watch MacGyver is to enter a world free of cynicism. MacGyver, both the series and the title character, became a champion of social justice and a testament to the good of humanity. A pacifist, Mac spent countless hours volunteering at the Challengers Club for disadvantaged youth, he fought poachers of endangered black rhino and rare golden eagles, put racists in their place, lobbied against pollution, he was decisively antigun, liberated political prisoners, and was always on hand for a friend in need. In later seasons, Mac’s best friend Pete – as well as his portrayer, Dana Elcar – was diagnosed with glaucoma and lost his sight, and the pair only grew closer. As an impressionable 13 year-old, Mac gave me a great deal of confidence. He was nerdy. Heck, he was a dork. Mac liked science and he cared about people. He didn’t like his first name. He stood up for what he believed in and he never gave up. I also felt extremely comfortable in how he never tried to get with his female co-star at the end of each episode. Of course, none of the 80s action series showed the male leads getting frisky with the damsel of the week, but I can’t think of any instances where Mac would have actually wanted to. You can’t say that about The A-Team’s Hannibal or Faceman. Off camera, Knight Rider’s Michael Knight would have been swimming in the babes. Mac, however, is all about respect, and I’d argue we got more developed supporting characters as a result; characters who, although in need of Mac’s unique abilities, were by no means helpless. All of this is what I fear losing in the wake of CBS’ upcoming MacGyver reboot starring Lucas Till (Havok in the X-Men prequels). Remakes are often updates, and this typically means giving the cynical masses something that we can relate to in this post-9/11 world (groan). So far we’ve seen footage from the pilot, and I’m a little apprehensive. Dialogue from the trailer

mentions a young Mac escaping a ‘terrorist holding cell.’ By contrast, the first episode of MacGyver ’85 has Mac try to rescue a group of trapped scientists. Note the difference. My MacGyver doesn’t fight terrorists. International art thieves with links to terrorism, maybe, but that’s still not his typical workday. Obviously one episode, let alone the pilot, cannot determine what a show will be like. After all, the original MacGyver pilot had Mac living in an observatory, not the houseboat we would come to know and love. A second pilot is currently being shot, under a new script, and I hope the producers take this as a chance to really think about the MacGyver they wish to bring into the modern world. My hope is that they do it like Philip Marlowe in The Long Goodbye. Okay, I’m sorry, I mean like what Marvel Studios did with Captain America; modernise the setting, not the character. I’m not saying MacGyver should be frozen in a block of ice for thirty years (although this does feels oddly consistent with that one episode where MacGyver meets Merlin) but there’s certainly a way to retain his 1980s sensibilities in 2016. The world today is harsher, yes, but isn’t that all the more cause for some good-natured optimism? So let the Lethal Weapon reboot/adaptation be edgy and snide, and let the Training Day TV series be full of the harshities of 2016 – because MacGyver is the hero we need right now. And who knows? Perhaps he can save the world with nothing but a message of hope and a weekly timeslot.

Rob wrote this article on his houseboat. It was a bit annoying when his long-lost archaeologist friend dragged him out to sea and tried to convince him to help her find the holy grail, but he got there in the end.

WEEABOO

I am a person who reads One Piece weekly, who religiously scours the new content each season on MyAnimeList.com, who flew to Melbourne several weeks ago to meet Kyary Pamyu Pamyu and watch her concert, who has essentially lived on Pokémon Go for the last many days, who has been studying the Japanese language since she was in Year 1, and who is seriously considering moving to Japan at some point in her life ... In short, I am a person very interested in Japan, Japanese pop culture and the greater culture of the country, itself. Am I a Weeaboo? Fuck, I hope not.

The term Weeaboo sends a shiver so potent down my spine that, on many occasions, my person has collapsed into to a puddle pure cringe. Never have I ever been so uncomfortable than when standing in the line of AVCon 2015, and the two girls in front of us in full Sailor Moon cosplay

WORDS BY: CHRIST Y ANNE JONES ART WORK BY: GENEVIEVE were making cat noises, calling BR ANDENBERG each other ‘[Name]-chan’ and, at one point, when bumping into each other, screamed ‘ITAI!’ at the top of their lungs (which means, basically, ‘ouch’). Don’t get me wrong, I mean, I love cats and Sailor Moon, but neither of these girls were Japanese and clearly neither of them actually spoke the language. While I maintain that I love AVCon and the greater community of people who emphatically consume anime/manga are good and lovely and kind–to hear these two people in front of us manifest this idea of the ‘classic Weeaboo’, this utter idealisation and flagrant but failing attempt to assimilate into a culture and language that was not their own just seemed so …ignorant? I’ll go with ‘ignorant’. With this in mind, the last time I was actually in Japan, while on the

verge of the worst throat infection I have ever had in my life, I told my boyfriend that I would not wear a surgical mask like all the other Japanese people on the train because I didn’t ‘want to look like a damn weeb.’ In hindsight, however, I believe I was over thinking it and would, next time, just wear the stupid facemask in order to be polite and courteous to those around me – and also potentially save myself two weeks of intense pain. There is, I believe, a line between loving a particular facet, or many facets, of pop culture and partaking in damaging cultural appropriation. When the comments of a Jvlog (YouTube videos generally made by those who live in Japan) disintegrate into a cess pool of ‘how do I get a Japanese girlfriend/boyfriend/

partner’ and ‘Japan is exactly like all the anime, isn’t it?’, you know things have gone a little too far. When videos start turning up on the internet, made by Caucasian people, titled ‘How To Look Japanese’ – things have fallen of the precipice of ‘far’ and into the depths of ‘completely fucking idiotic and wrong’. Yet, does all of this not reverse? I have seen firsthand the sheer mass of bad English littered on Japanese billboards and product packaging, written by people who clearly were not fluent in this language. I have sung along to many, many Japanese songs with 90% Japanese lyrics until the chorus of pure English. I have watched a number of documentaries on the small handful of Japanese people specifically seeking out

foreign (usually, Caucasian) friends and partners. Is this not the same appropriation? Not quite. None of the above examples really contain the reverse of our cat-sound, Sailor Moon friends, but that is a whole other can of worms for a much larger, much better researched and much more in depth article than this one. So I will end the article with this: do I think that Weeaboo culture is bad? Yes. I do not believe it is a good idea to appropriate any culture to the point of ignorance or offence. People are people. And most people don’t like being equated to tiny facets of their culture which manifest only in TV shows or comics (See: that one Simpsons episode about Australia which always has, and always will, annoy the absolute shit out of me,

despite my love for the cartoon). BUT, do I think that all people who enjoy [insert Japanese pop culture element here] are weebs? No. It is entirely possible to love the idea of a country, learn its language, travel to that country, want to live there, want to grown up and be a manga-author, enjoy and love its art, its cinema, its comics, and treat its people, its language, and its greater culture with respect and decency. Now excuse me, while I chibi-down into my Himotou! Umaru-chan hoodie and spend the rest of the day eating Pocky and playing Animal Crossing to the dulcet tunes of ONE OK ROCK.

Christy Anne Jones is a T.S. Eliot fan girl, green tea enthusiast and writer of fantasy stories about faraway places. She dreams of one day publishing a novel and owning a dachshund.

SWITCHED MEDIUMS WORDS BY: SKYE JENNER

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD There is nothing, I repeat, nothing, more frustrating than watching a book-turned-movie and finding they have all of the facts wrong. Especially, when it’s a story that you have loved and become emotionally tied to. Watching them get butchered on the big screen is possibly some of the worse pains of the twenty-first century. Alright, that’s a major exaggeration. There are a lot of things more frustrating. And certainly a lot of things in life that are much more detrimental to our health. But, it can be frustrating when somebody takes a well-loved storyline, changes it’s medium and manages to butcher it. So here are some books that I love, which have been turned into movies. For better or for worse. HARRY POTTER This may not be the most popular opinion, but when I first saw the Harry Potter movies, I hated them. With a fiery, fiery passion. For starters, one of my favourite characters was left out – Peeves. Then as the stories went on, the Weasley twins’ wit and humour was kind of lost in the movie dialogue, and Ginny’s pure spirit was so watered down. Yes, I understand

why a lot of these changes were made, but it still meant that parts of the story which I thought were REALLY important were left out. The movies have slowly grown on me through the years, but I still think the books are WAY better.

keep to the science, but have great interpersonal relationships between the characters. The dry, slightly dark wit also appeals to the slightly more macabre side of my humour.

PERCY JACK SON AND THE LIGHTNING THIEF

Like Bones, the creators of the TV series Bitten took a great idea from an author, and used it for an entirely different storyline. So much so, that the author of the original series doesn’t have much to do with the show and hasn’t actually watched most of it. The intertwining of the writer’s imagination and the original book series worked really well here – I was constantly recognising some of my favourite characters, but always wondering what was going to happen next. I also loved that Logan (who was killed off in the first book) survived the first season.

I actually watched the movie before I even realised that Percy Jackson was a character in a book. And, I liked the storyline, I just thought that it was way too American-central. It took reading the book to understand that there was a justifiable (in the world of fantasy) reason for this. The movie encouraged me to pursue the other stories and I am now a huge fan of Rick Riordan. Although, having said that, I still haven’t had the chance to sit down and watch the newest Percy Jackson movie, The Sea of Monsters. BONES Kathy Reichs not only helps to write the script (and ensure the validity of the science), but she also wrote the book series that Bones is based on. Although, other than the led in both stories being a forensic anthropologist named Kathy Reichs, there really aren’t many similarities. I’m a huge fan of BOTH series. They

BITTEN

There are a lot more TV shows and movies that have been inspired by books, and even comics (think of the Marvel universe). The list of switched mediums is honestly endless, but these are some of my favourite (and least favourite) adaptations of books. And, since I’m a total bibliophile, I always think that the books are better than the film adaptations! Skye spends a little too much time in front of the TV with her nose in a book.

AN ALTERNATIVE LIFESTYLE

ART WORK BY: A JOYNER ON DIT ISSUE 59, NO 10 (1991)

IN THE FRIGHT GARDEN WORDS BY: HIL ARY D’ANGELO ART WORK BY: R ACHEL WONG

There I sat, wedged between my younger cousins, aged one and four, as unease and discomfort rose within me. Visions of characters I could only assume were straight from a horror movie danced in front of me, sure to corrode my dreams for months to come. I broke into a cold sweat. I felt as if I, the responsible adult in the room, was on the edge of a nervous fit and could break at any moment then surely they were bothered as well... What the hell was I watching? It was like this: a somewhat modern‐ day Telletubies, but with a disturbing edge unable to be redeemed by endearment. This time, there were “tombliboos” – all of whom shared the same toothbrush and took delight in using it to tickle each other’s rears. But really, the disconcerting nature of the show culminated in the absence of real dialect, with the focus instead on the high‐pitched, hyperactive, sexual‐sounding noises these creatures let out. As if the imagery itself wasn’t bad enough,

those alone were enough to cause nightmares. Loud ones. I was disturbed, but my cousins were somehow perfectly complacent – no doubt due to their failure to comprehend the severity of the garbage on the screen before them. That, and the fact that they’d never known anything different. This, ladies and gentlemen, is the age where children’s television has turned to absolute shit. The worst part? It doesn’t end at the introduction of mediocre new programs for our modern youth. Even worse than that, classics such as Bananas in Pyjamas, Bob the Builder, and even Noddy have been reconstructed and replaced with what I can only refer to as alarming CGI. I dispute that my disaffection with these shows is born of a nostalgic attachment to the ones I grew up with. In my opinion, it’s quite easy to see: there’s simply nothing engaging, uplifting, or original about them. In

15 years, I doubt my cousins will feel inclined to spend a week of illness on the couch revisiting episodes of In the Night Garden (something I recently did with Around the Twist). While I spend my swot vacs watching episodes of Blue Water High on YouTube, I can’t imagine they’ll spend theirs catching up on old eps of Yo Gabba Gabba. To realise my lasting fondness for the shows of the golden age, one needn’t do more than browse the shelves in my room. Multiple seasons of Rugrats, Sailor Moon, Daria, Lizzie McGuire, and Arthur (back in its classic era) are on proud display and await my frequent inclination to relive their wonder. Yep, it was the best of times then, and I’m quite confident that now is the blurst of times. Next chance I get, I’m dressing up as Sailor Moon. If I see any tombliboos around, I retract my position.

Of Hilary’s 5 favourite TV shows, 4 were designed for children. Woops.

ART WORK BY: MEL ANIE PERRE

CLIMATE OF THE DEAD WORDS BY: MITCHELL SALT

SURVIVING ZOMBIES AND THE THREAT OF GLOBAL WARMING ‘What would you do in a zombie apocalypse?’ is such a great conversation starter. In certain circumstances, it could even be used as a pick-up line. Hours can be spent talking about it. Even more time thinking about it, and watching the source material of people being torn apart either physically or psychologically, more often in both ways because of moral dilemmas and personal faults. Those fictional circumstances we see may inspire in some of us more planning for the future then anything real. But they do inspire a large amount of survival tips, advice, guides, weapon fetishes and information both in print and online, in ways that make most other genres of pessimism porn really look piss weak and less concerning. In Shaun of the Dead, probably the best survival tip for the point where everything is going down is given at the beginning. ‘It is vital that you stay in your homes. Make no attempt

to reach loved ones, and avoid all physical contact with the assailants (zombies).’ Unless unsafe to remain where you are, there is a very clear reason for this. People are in a state of panic already looking for and trying to be with loved ones, or looting shit and fleeing. This makes the streets extremely chaotic and dangerous. In the film, it only took a day and a half for the military to arrive and clear the streets of the undead, which meant the main characters in today’s world could have hidden away, put on head phones, and ironically binge watched all seasons of The Walking Dead, or iZombie and Z Nation, until it was over. Why am I sure all of that would happen? Because the chaos described is a consistent feature of real-life places hit by natural disasters, in areas without sufficient warning or prior coordinated evacuation similar to a sudden zombie outbreak. The response time for emergency services and the military is up to 72 hours in affected regions, depending on their preparedness and the amount of resources available to relief efforts. This wouldn’t be any

different in a flesh/brain eating apocalypse, no matter how bad it could be. Emergency personnel spend a certain chunk of their lives preparing for uncertain disasters, the skills to deal with them, and developing leadership. Having enough preserved food, stored water, a first aid kit for non-zombie related boo boos, a flash light, clothes and blankets, a battery operated mobile charger and manual radio, some toilet paper and patience, one simply has to stay calm and in one place. Then—out comes the elaborately thought out survival plan formed in conversation with friends over a George Romero marathon, and all the badass sharp objects discussed. An escape would be easier in the window of time emergency services could make the area safer, provide supplies or at least offer a way to evacuate to somewhere quieter. If you can find friends and family (or the people deemed most competent at survival) in a preplanned area before it goes down, and have a contact far away alive in the place you need to hold out in, then your chances of survival are confirmed

to be high, by the circumstances of modern world natural disasters. NASAâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Earth Observatory makes it clear that while climate change may not be responsible for recent disasters, it is very likely to contribute to future ones. Drought, intense storms, tropical cyclones and flooding are all weather related catastrophes that will have a greater likelihood of happening if average temperatures rise around the world. Temperature variability from hot and cold will complicate the way we live our lives and our overall wellbeing probably more then we may think. This threat is happening now, something we need to be prepared for both in the worst scenario of the higher frequency of needing to live on beans and packet meals for three days, or the more continual and likely scenarios of constant blackouts, higher costs of food, water shortages, property destruction, economic hardship and general human and ecological suffering, injuries and even deaths. Released last year, The Handbook: Surviving and Living with Climate Change

has some steps and core advice that can also be applied to dealing with a world overrun with zombies. One is moving to Tasmania: a sparsely populated island surrounded by water if youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re fleeing the undead, or the goldilocks of climate conditions to build a life in without unbearable heat. Now this is extreme advice even for the friends of mine who came from Tasmania, and should only be done when no other options are available. On the subject of cities, they need to be avoided due to the large presence of other people that would have been turned into zombies or, according to the authors, due to too many people putting too much pressure on the functioning of essential infrastructure and services, as well as the price of food and vitals in times of shortages. Intense heat waves and storms affect all of them; major cities may experience more blackouts and overloading of electricity infrastructure, which affects the treatment of water and sewage, transportation and road management as well as hospitals and emergency services. Large

outlying towns and communities are suggested as more suitable to live in, like in zombie films where people end up surviving longer (depending on who runs the place). Overall, the authors suggest having people who care about whether you live or die as the important factor in survival. Making as many friends as possible, having the confidence to do things for ourselves such as learning to fix things in a home, learning to grow some of our own food, collecting some of our own water, making a plan and figuring out what skills we need to learn are also fundamental. More time should be spent thinking about a world where climate change affects us rather than a fictional event covered endlessly. But in dealing with the worst case scenario we are half ready with the conversation about what we need to do.

ANIME ASSASSINATION CLASSROOM | YŪSEI MATSUI REVIEW BY: SEAMUS MULLINS 5/5 | A murderous monster tentacle-d sensei, who can move at the speed of Mach 20 (he’s fast!), has destroyed 70 percent of the moon and is now threatening to destroy the earth before the end of the year, takes over as teacher of a junior high school class in Japan, and teaches the students how to kill him. It’s an interesting premise to say the least and one which although had bewildered me hearing about, encapsulated me and took over my life for two weeks as I blasted through all 47 episodes. What starts out as incredibly ridiculous plot, it quickly becomes grounded and intriguing as the 28 students, each with own unique skills sets, soon realise no ordinary assassination will take down their strange new teacher, and learn that they must be creative and work

together to complete this monumental task. However, with a huge cash reward up for grabs for whoever takes the kill, the students end up having a number of peculiar and odd assassins visit their classroom competing for the prize too. Although their assassination target and now unconventional teacher turns out to be not quite what the students expected from a murderous and odd creature, and they somehow end up learning a lot not just about assassination, but about life too. A silly, heartfelt, funny anime which borders on the ridiculous in almost every episode, Assassination Classroom is a must watch for any anime fan and one I can’t wait to rewatch.

GAME GREG’S EGGVENTURE | KRION GAMES REVIEW BY: CELIA CLENNET T AND AMANDA LI 4/5 | When it boils down to it, Greg’s Eggventure is a straightforward mobile game, with an endearing concept and addictive gameplay. Greg (I kid you not) is stuck in a dark, daunting forest – clearly not the ideal situation for a scared and fragile egg. The aim of the game is to get Greg back to his nest. The mechanics are simple, making it an easy game to crack: you guide Greg with the flick of a finger, bouncing the egg across the screen and manoeuvring around perilous obstacles along the way. Be careful though; after five bounces, Greg’s shell will break! Watching his trajectory offers moments of true nail-biting suspense. The game benefits from its lush, meticulous visuals and charming art style. The colourful details are sure to dazzle, and the egg’s cute facial eggspressions, leave you wanting

to protect him from the dangers of the forest. Its level designs also deserve praise. The obstacles become increasingly inventive, from portals to waterfalls, requiring strategy and thereby giving your mind a good workout. Greg’s Eggventure was created by a small team of University of Adelaide students, with a driving passion for gamemaking. The game grew from a basic concept, getting an egg from A to B, and it evolved in complexity from there. If you want to prove that you can look after a baby by showing that you can protect an egg, well, this could be the game for you. But it isn’t just for wannabe parents – it’s for anyone who enjoys casual gaming and groan-inducing egg puns, as well as outstanding visuals. If you’re one of those people, what are you waiting for? Eggventure awaits!

FILM

LATEST INSTALMENT | THAT ONE BIG DIRECTOR REVIEW BY: JAKE JACOBSON 5/5 | Did you enjoy Latest Instalment in a Recognisable Franchise? I thought it was a considerable improvement over Previous Instalment in a Recognisable Franchise. Remember that part where Flagship Intellectual Property teamed up with Potential Spin-off ? And who could forget the cameo from Ham-f isted Pandering Masquerading as Fan Service? I really cracked up when they made that reference I understood. Remember when the story clumsily set up several unnecessary plot points for later f ilms, some of which won’t be made for another decade? I did NOT see that one coming, let me tell you! It

really was impressive how they took an existing narrative template and didn’t alter the formula in any way. They really recaptured the spirit of the original film by recreating the same film, beat-for-beat. It was like I was reliving my childhood, or at least the collective “childhood” that exists in the pop culture consciousness like a drug-induced state of euphoria, where shared familiarity substitutes real experience. Yes sir, it may have taken them awhile, but I have to admit, they’ve finally managed to distil nostalgia into pure marketability. I can’t wait to see what they do with Inevitable Reboot.

MUSIC

WSET TLERS | WESTERN SKIES MOTEL REVIEW BY: ANDREW L ANG

Settlers is the new record from Western Skies Motel, the solo folk project by Danish guitarist, René Gonzàlez Schelbeck. Combining inf luences from folk, Americana, and ambient music, it signifies a brave new direction for guitar compositions. Settlers opens with Falling Leaves, immediately settling the listener into the album’s style, with a calming, soothing tide of notes, played on an acoustic guitar. What starts as a solo performance, quickly descends into a cluster of enveloping guitars, coupled with some subtle percussion. It’s a testament to Schelbeck’s compositional prowess, that these songs never feel cluttered, especially considering the complexity of the notes and rhythms at play. Perhaps the most unusual parts of the whole record are

the short drone pieces, which end a select few tracks. The closing minutes of Whirl are the best example – as the sole guitar slowly slows to a crawl, reverb-drenched harmoniums replace it, almost choral in their texture. These provide refreshing yet ominous interludes to the record. No less powerful is the record’s EP counterpart Generations, which blesses us with six more intriguing and gloomy tracks. Settlers is, without a doubt, the finest album of the year thus far. Its focus on both folk and ambient styles gives a sense of melancholia and despair, and at times almost a soundtrack-like quality; some songs wouldn’t be out of place in an episode of True Detective. For fans of folk, experimental, acoustic or country music, this is by far one of the most revolutionary albums you’ll hear in a long, long time.

RANTSPACE

WORDS BY: BRYDIE KOSMINA MASTERCHEF (GRAMMAR) RULES I love Masterchef. I haven’t watched a season of it before, but I have become weirdly addicted to it this year. I have literally re-arranged plans and gone to earlier movie sessions, and, on one sad day, cancelled dinner plans so I can watch it as it airs. Something is wrong. Please send help. My housemates can attest to this weird obsession of mine; many a time have I been caught doing my happy dance as I make a cup of tea/grab a glass of wine to sit down at 7.30pm Sunday-Thursday to watch my show. I know all of the contestants’ lives and backstories. I have seen many of them cry because their sponge cake

is dry or whatever the fuck. That’s how this show works. I have a small life, pity me. But SO HELP ME GOD, I WOULD LIKE TO PERSONALLY THROW AN UNDERCOOKED SOUS VIDE CHICKEN ROULADE AT WHICHEVER PRODUCER OF THE SHOW DECIDED TO MAKE ‘HERO’ A VERB. HERO IS NOT A VERB. Hero is a fuCKING NOUN. Hero is a character from Much Ado About Nothing. Hero[ic] is an accurate description of my patience watching you fuckers say this week after week. Hero. Is. Not. A. Verb. I’m sorry, but

you cannot hero an ingredient. If you get lemon as a core ingredient, you don’t ‘REALLY NEED TO HERO THIS LEMON’ – you need to MAKE LEMON THE HERO OF THE DISH. It’s a NOUN, for FUCK’S SAKE. No, you don’t need to ‘hero’ this salmon, YOU JUST NEED TO COOK IT LIKE A NORMAL FUCKING PERSON, YOU COLOSSAL TWITS. Someone help me. I have a small, sad life and this is ruining what little I have.

POKÉ TIPS WORDS BY: CELIA CLENNET T Do you want to be the very best like no one ever was? Do you feel like Ash Ketchum where zero progress is made but hey at least you’ve made friends with a couple of strangers who refuse to leave you alone? Here are 10 tips to help you master Pokémon Go: 1. Turn off ‘AR’ in top right capture screen disables virtual reality, making throwing pokéballs easier while simultaneously making you look less like an idiot. 2. Use your index finger instead of your thumb to improve your accuracy at throwing pokéballs. 3. Curve balls can be thrown by doing a circular movement before throwing the pokéballs. 4. Don’t waste your candy on low CP pokémon. Wait until your player

levels up and you catch stronger base pokémon. 5. Choose one pokémon that you have access to, to catch many of them and accumulate candy by transferring them all to the professor. 6. The pink petals found at Pokéstops are Lure Modules placed down by other players and you can find many pokemon nearby 7. If you are intending on investing real money, your most efficient purchase as a beginner is the Lucky Egg. This doubles your experience which is valuable for the first time pokemon catch bonus of 500xp, resulting in 1000 xp. The becomes less and less worth it as you catch more and more unique pokémon. 8. Find an overlapping Pokéstop and use a Lure Module on both and sit in the middle so that you can

accumulate lots of pokémon to catch. Pokémon incense can stack with lure modules. 9. You can see how far pokémon are away from you in the Nearby tab, which you can track close by pokemon by tapping them, revealing them on the map for a short period. 10. You can triangulate the position of pokémon by walking in a straight line while taking note when it starts to get further away in the Nearby footsteps. Then turn 90° and repeat until you find it.

MR STABLES AND MISS L’S CORRESPONDENCES (POP CULTURE) ISSUE 7 Stables and L are back from a galaxy far, far away and are ready to tackle another 12 weeks of worrying about not attending lectures and classes. We begin the semester with some popular culture, so we’re going to have to dumb it down a bit. HOLIDAY WAS GOOD. UNIVERSITY IS BACK. MUCH WORK TO BE DONE. YOU READ THIS IF YOU WANT BREAK FROM WORK. ONLY ANSWERS. NO QUESTIONS. HOW ARE YOU SO BASIC Fiveforfighting: You are correct when you say that I am not a fan of American superhero films, and I don’t understand why you’re grilling me on why I don’t like them. You know a film is going to be shit when they show the plot twist in the trailer. They’re poorly written and are more cringe worthy than most of the pathetic ‘answers’ we write in this fucking column answering your stupid dumb fucking questions. Fuck Off. American Gigalo: You know brothels are illegal in South Australia? So asking me where ‘the best deals are fam coz I wanna git

sum’ is going to be a pointless act, and you’ll only get fucked over. Jacob and William Grimm: Sascha Baron Cohen’s Grimsby was pathetically bad and was just a mess, but it’s still not as much of a mess as your pointless sordid existence. DON’T LET YOUR MEMES BE DREAMS Dat boi: O shit waddup! If you’re ever feeling down because of Uni remember the universe is 13 billion years old and you just happened to exist at the same time as the Adelaide Flindor Meme War MMXVI. T’was good procrastination – HOLD UP – Procrastination is my greatest vice… Our Vice-Chancellor is Bebbington… Bebbington has 10 letters… Illuminati has 10 letters… Oh My Lord Bebbington is Illuminati confirmed. Danny: Hi Danny, yes of course it’s okay for guys to like Grease! You might get teased at first by your more macho mates, but eventually they’ll come to accept you and your homosexuality. Moneypenny: What do I think of Jane Bond? I don’t think of Jane Bond because James Bond is sacred. It takes a lot of balls to take

on the role of Bond. Ray: Ghost Busters! Although I hear that the new one is pretty shit so probably best sticking to the classic exorcist. Just a tip though, don’t fall behind on your payments to your exorcist, otherwise your house will be repossessed. Red Guy and Duck: The cure for Ennui is to find something to preoccupy yourself with. Like, what’s your favourite idea? Mine is being creative. Or maybe it’s time to find your special one? Or find a tasty snack, but don’t be greedy to eat all that – or you’ll end up with your gums all grey. Don’t forget to have good dreams too, because Roy is watching, always watching. THROWBACK Tabbott Mthatcher: Hi Tabbott, you sound familiar. Don’t worry, a lot of people get spam emails about penis enlargement kits. Coincidently, I got my first one ever over the Winter break. It’s probably best to ignore it but I know it can sometimes play on your mind, especially if your mum sends them to you.

DODGY CRAFTS WITH MADDY AND EM

WORDS BY: MADDY SEXTON AND EMILY HART

GOOD EGG™ Do you know what is popular in our culture? Brunch. Have you ever been to Argo on the Parade on a Sunday morning around brunch time and felt like you looked like an egg in a sea of Lorna Jane f itspo queens? Now you will be the egg. The popular egg.

2. Cut a slightly smaller version of this circle out of your pillow stuffing material. 3. Place your pillow-stuffing circle on the centre of your top (or over the coffee stain). Place your larger yolk shape over the top of the stuffing, and stitch around the

INGREDIENTS Yellow felt/fabric Scissors A plain white jumper/ t-shirt (Oversized by at least 4 sizes is best.) (*This tutorial is also good for hiding big ol’ stains so if you have something that you spilt coffee on during brunch but still kept for some reason, this is it’s time. To rise and shine.) Pillow stuff ing (If you can’t be bothered buying stuff ing, steal it from an actual pillow. Because you’re worth it.) Needle and yellow/any thread LET’S EAT 1. Cut a large and round piece of your yellow fabric to make the yolk part of this important protein/ wardrobe staple.

hide any unwanted ab action that you may have developed over the break and gives you the dreamy potbelly ef fect that is so #in right now. While you have creative momentum, you should make a brunch shirt for each of your nearest and dearest friends so that you can take on Argo with the force of an entire $40 big breakfast. Ideas include: • Avocado (green shirt with brown circle shape) • Smashed avocado (green shirt) • Bacon (pink shirt with wavy white stripe shape) • Wholemeal bread (brown shirt with brown shapes) • Protein ball (any shirt with abs shape)

edges as well as you can. Don’t worry about the stitching-nobody can really sew so just have fun and be yourself. Good sewing is an urban myth. 4. That’s all. Please wear this to uni so that we can see it come to fruition. Handily, this also helps

*** Pompom Ideas That Thought of Now:

Just

• Hang them from your rear-view mirror like fluffy dice, minus the dice function. • Attach them to a stick to make a pompom flower.