A Different Lens Mental Health Monthly By RanDee McLain, LCSW
Rollercoaster of emotions with military transition In the US we have military service members moving and PCS’ing every day. I have been the service member that deployed and left my family behind. I have also been the one left behind. I will always say for me personally it was harder as a spouse. In the service there was a lot of unknows, but I knew what the mission was and what was expected of me. As the spouse left behind, we have to maintain the home, children, work, school and all other daily life activities in addition to the stress of having a loved one away and potential in dangerous situations. Both roles can be challenging, and it is important that we take care of ourselves and understand that it is normal to feel a wide range of emotions during this time. In true transparency this is something I am struggling with myself. Even as someone who has worked in the military and veteran community for most of my adult life it never gets easier. My other/better half is about to leave for overseas unaccompanied orders. I know all the things people say to do during this time. I have a indepth understanding of the deployment cycle and the emotions that come with it. I have been here before……but what is that saying, do as I say not as I do? It is much easier to coach other families to take care of themselves and normalize the emotions than it is to face them myself.
Communicate
24
WWW.HomelandMagazine.com / FEBRUARY 2022
There are a lot of great resources that I will list below that can give you tools to help during this time. I would like to share what I have learned from both sides and what steps I am taking now to assist in my own transition. The stress and anxiety can come as early as when you first get orders. I know for us there was so many unknowns- and still is. There was how long, accompanied/unaccompanied…ohhh wait another country? I have my career and life here …do I go? Do I stay and continue the career path I am currently on? Unlike a deployment, there is no guarantee we will end up here after this move. Again, there are so many unknows that is when the stress and anxiety start to creep in. Many military couples start to see their service member seem somewhat detached or removed before a big deployment or move. Their focus can shift to what’s next and preparing for that. This is really a time to communicate and share how you are feeling and how it is impacting you. A few take aways I have for any type of extended military separation.
Be Intentional
