Challenging conversations
Facilitators: Jenny Francis and Sue Hellman
Learning objectives of the session • To consider when and why a challenging conversation might be needed • To reflect on how to avoid challenging conversations
• To gain a toolkit to help when challenging conversations are needed
Possible causes of needing a challenging conversation Lack of skills of knowledge by staff member Unclear communication of expectation
Poor leadership style by line manager
Poor communication Lack of motivation by staff member
Anger or resentment by staff member Differing perspectives on acceptable norms
Poor behaviours being left too long as acceptable
Issues you may also want to consider: • What motivates and inspires staff
• Theory of leadership styles • Behaviour categories, Myers-Briggs
• Emotional intelligence
• Leadership styles, good communication and open mind are crucial. • We all perceive things differently. • Remember your way is not the only way and may not even be the best way! Hay/McBer
Each of his own opinion An elephant is like a brush exceeding stiff and strong, though each was partly in the right, and all were in the wrong “The blind men and the elephant� J G Saxe (1816-1887) An elephant is like a rope An elephant is soft and mushy
An elephant is like a snake An elephant is like a tree trunk
Do you aim to get buy in?
Where do you push people to in this spectrum? Where might conflict occur?
How clearly do you communicate?
So you do understand what I mean don’t you?
Yes of course I do
So how well do you communicate?
Confronting Tough • • • • • • • • • •
Issues (based on Susan Scott)
Name the issue ( keep it to one) Give one specific example to illustrate the issue State your emotion Say what you feel is at stake Acknowledge your part Say “I want to resolve this with you” Invite the person to give their take on the situation Don’t defend or argue , just listen Then interact and focus on the issue not the personality Act reasonably, responsibly and respectfully