7 minute read
DEALING WITH WAR WOUNDS ON THE TRAILS
WORDS: KATE DZIENIS IMAGES: ASTRID VOLZKE, MARCOS DE MARTINI, SARAH FARRELL
TO COPE with PTSDResilience
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Running is often used as an outlet for self-awareness and utilised as a coping mechanism for challenges in life. Queensland native Wayne McMurtrie spent his fair share in the armed forces before being discharged in 2011, but not without carrying a load of burdens that easily turned into Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Kate Dzienis delves into his past and finds out how trail running saved him from the heartache of military service.
Everyone has their own unique and individual reasons for getting involved in ultra running, and we could certainly go on for days on end about everyone’s motivations and stories behind how they started, but sometimes there’s a bigger meaning behind it all, and when you tear away the exterior of a sport that appears gruelling, arduous and resolute, it can leave itself wide open to be an avocation that leads a person to a better life.
Queenslander Wayne McMurtrie served in the Australian Defence Force for almost 20 years, giving 17 years to the service as an advanced medical assistant and achieving the rank of Sergeant.
In that time he served two tours in East Timor and two in Afghanistan, and was later discharged in 2011, but not without taking home with him the formidable conditions and exposure to military service that left him with psychological scarring.
So it’s no surprise that Wayne was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) in the lead up to being discharged, in 2009 just after his second tour to Afghanistan, but the distention and anxiety didn’t end there.
Wayne’s role during his time in the Middle East was as the sergeant in charge of a medic team responsible for the healthcare of the Observer Mentor Liaison Team. Aside from himself, there were five medics he was a part of amongst four different bases, and Wayne was also responsible for medical support to patrols. Throw on top of that coordinating and managing sick and injured coalition force members and the general public, and one can only imagine the adversity and liability that may have fallen on his shoulders.
“Most of the time we were always prepared and just followed a schedule, we had plans in place, did some training, and went out on patrol,” he explains.
“The only time when things happened unawares was when there were casualties coming in after bombings; for the most part, that was relatively easy from a medic’s perspective, but occasionally when something big and bad happened, our routine would go out the window and ‘job’s on’, so to speak.”
For Wayne, dealing with the sick, injured and disembodied was the norm – it was the coming home that proved hardest, feeling like the comradery and mateship amongst those he worked with had been lost.
After coming home in 2011, he found employment as a paramedic in remote locations like the isolated Western Province of Papua New Guinea and the
Pilbara region of Western Australia. It was very much like the current fly-in, flyout lifestyle of Australian mine workers, where Wayne endured long periods of boredom broken up with short periods of intense stress, and he found it exceedingly challenging to cope with after leaving the ADF.
He felt he had to find a way to occupy his time during those moments of quiet while being a paramedic.
Without conscious thought or action, he became a trail runner in late 2013.
“I’d always run in a general training sense, but not any distance longer than 10kms, and never with any real purpose,” he says.
“In 2013 I made a friend through work, we’d connected through both of us being army veterans, and he introduced me to the ultra running community, which provided me with a new bond.
“When you leave the Defence Force, you leave a family, and I relate it to the general public like the TV series Band of Brothers. One day, you have a mission – a sense of purpose and belonging. You have a band of brothers and sisters who are one of the only consistent things in your life. You’re all exposed to the same conditions and that forms bonds between people that are hard for outsiders to understand.
“When I left the ADF, I still had close ties to friends who discharged around the time I did, but eventually due to circumstances of life, I became isolated and lost and my protective walls that required a ‘Band of Brothers’ to support
them crumbled and finally fell.
“I found that the ultra running community provided a bond, a new ‘Band of Brothers’, and people who don’t run simply can’t understand it.”
Despite starting to turn his life around with a positive frame of mind and feeling once again like he belonged somewhere, in 2015 Wayne experienced a relapse in his PTSD after he was made redundant from work. Although still running, he escaped to Bali and while there explored different management strategies and coping mechanisms to manage his symptoms and the disease – most of it through running long distances.
Social support, networks and social cohesion provided by activities such as ultra races, and groups like the Australian Ultra Runners Association (AURA) of which Wayne is a long-time member, enhance the mental health and wellbeing of individuals. And it’s no surprise that participation in fitness activities overall correlates positively with feelings of selfesteem and confidence.
To belong in society is the most important, yet least recognised need of most humans.
Wayne believes his journey as a trail runner supports his opinion that a positive community environment provides a common purpose and sense of belonging. His most recent races included the 2020 Delirious W.E.S.T 200 miler where he finished in 79 hours, and the 2021 Feral Pig 23km where he came in at 2 hours 35 minutes.
“Your experiences can be life changing, and the bonds formed with other runners truly are lasting,” he reveals.
“Trail running allows those with PTSD to regain focus, decrease stress, anxiety and tension all while allowing a mix of companionship and alone time.
“I believe that a meditative state I achieve when I run is therapeutic; it allows me a level of clear thought I would not have achieved otherwise.
“Finding the understanding that this stems from changing my breathing from an unconscious action to a conscious one was the most powerful change of perspective I have gained from my trail running career.”
Wayne says trail running has changed for him over the years since lacing up his first pair of runners back in 2013. “Where it used to be an escape from others, from my demons, survivor’s guilt and self-doubt, it has now become a place of community, belonging and connection,” he recollects. “I’ve crewed many friends now who have done long distance, and stepping into that role has not only given me the opportunity to give back to everyone, but also give me a chance to stand on the other side of the fence and see how other trail runners face their own challenges.
“It’s allowed me to use my experience to guide them through.”
His life experiences have brought Wayne to where is today, and for the past few years he has been strongly encouraging others like him who have gone through PTSD, as well as depression, anxiety, and other mental illnesses to hop on the bandwagon and give ultra running a go.
“The trail community is like nothing you’ll ever experience – completely different to what you might know,” he says.
“Through all those friends I’ve gained, I feel I’ve made a new set of brothers and sisters who I know have got my back, have genuine support they are more than willing to give…and there’s no better feeling than knowing you have that, and you can give back to every single one of those people on and off the trails.”
