MAN IN THEMIRROR Perhaps he’s not an accurate reflection

Why do dogs chase their tails, even after they’ve caught them? Why do people with expensive cars intentionally take up two parking spaces in crowded parking lots?

And why does my aging body still do daily battle with acne?

That’s a question I asked myself the other morning while contorting my face in the mirror right before I gummed my oatmeal and applesauce. It’s not exactly a traditional resolution, I suppose, but surely there must be a way to rid myself of facial blemishes in the new year.

The fact that acne is a problem that just now has risen to the top of my list probably says a lot about my life, especially since the issue continued to clog my brain on the drive to work and even as I fired up the computer to see what had filled my inbox overnight.

And then I read the short email: A good friend was apologizing that a golf outing we were planning a few months down the road probably wouldn’t be happening because he just found out he had esophageal cancer.

I read the few sentences in the email a couple of times, not so much because I didn’t understand what he was saying but because I didn’t want to understand. And then I did what most people would do — I Googled “esophageal cancer” because I didn’t know much about it.

And a few clicks into my research, after soberly noting that the most recommended form of treatment involves finding a “clinical trial”, I saw the numbers: About 16,640 new cases of esophageal cancer are diagnosed in the United States each year, and about 14,500 people die of the disease each year.

As my friend, a real estate investment guy who single-handedly pulled me through our MBA accounting class, noted wryly when I talked with him later: “I’ve run the numbers, and they aren’t very rosy.”

His wife of 15-plus years took the news fairly well, he said, but their two teenagers sobbed uncontrollably. Surgery was out because his cancer already had snuck over to surrounding organs, so he was pinning hope on four progressively more aggressive rounds of chemotherapy, four 10-day blocks of hell that my friend said he “hoped to survive” in order to buy enough time for cancer researchers to find a cure for his at-the-moment virtually uncurable disease.

“There are still some things I don’t want to miss in my life,” he said, choking a bit as he spoke the words into his phone.

Hang in there, I told him; I couldn’t think of much else to say. Dealing with cancer is a mostly personal crusade, as much mental as physical, particularly when you know the odds don’t favor the outcome you want.

The conversation ended, the obligatory endof-call greetings were exchanged, and we both cursed his situation without swearing or crying or raising our voices.

I worked my way through the rest of the day, completing my regular tasks and booking future meetings on my calendar and discussing future stories for our magazine. And I went home to fill in my wife about the day’s events.

As the day wound down, I found myself in the bathroom again, staring at the same blemished face that had given me so much pain that morning.

And I decided that maybe I wouldn’t spend so much time looking into the mirror tomorrow, because the reflection looking back at me seemed to be pointing in the wrong direction.

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BACK TALK: MORE CONSIGNMENT TROUBLE?

Last month, as neighbors began to call us about another potential consignment store scam, Advocate editor Rachel Stone checked into the accusations. Excerpts from her original post on the Back Talk East Dallas blog are below; to read the post in full and to comment, visit lakewood.advocatemag.com and search: Heavenly Consignments.

In the wake of the Red Cat scandal, another neighborhood consignment store owner is being accused of misleading her clients.Some clients say Lisa Massena of Heavenly Consignments on Garland Road accepted their consignments but never paid, even while admitting, in some cases, she sold the items.

“As far as I know, 90 percent of the people have been paid,” Massena says.

The only ones she hasn’t paid out are those who she cannot reach, she says.But Heavenly Consignments, which opened in August 2009, has an “F” rating from the Better Business Bureau because of two unanswered complaints. It has negative ratings on consumer websites. And several clients say she stiffed them.

Massena sent out a letter to clients stating that the business is closing because of her husband’s recent death, and clients should pick up their consignments. The letter states they will be paid within 45 days for anything that has sold. In the summer, Ellen Quinn of East Dallas says she consigned “a ton” of costume jewelry that had belonged to her grandmother to Heavenly Consignments. Six of the pieces were sterling silver, one with a pearl and one with an emerald chip.

“Of course, those were the ones that came up missing,” Quinn says.

When Quinn went to retrieve the jewelry, Massena told Quinn she couldn’t find it. Massena came up with some of the jewelry on a second visit, but the most valuable items were missing, and Massena didn’t have sales receipts for them, Quinn says, adding that she hasn’t been paid for the jewelry or for two pieces of furniture Heavenly Consignments sold for her. Massena, however, says Quinn has been paid in full.

“She’s clearly lied to me,” Quinn says of Massena. “I don’t think I’m going to get a penny out of it.”

Another client, neighborhood resident Julia Woodard, says she brought antiques, including a shoeshine stand, to Heavenly Consignments.

“They told me it sold [around mid-October]. I said, ‘So where’s my check?’ ” she says.

Woodard says she is still trying to retrieve other consigned items that are now missing. Massena says it takes about 45 days from the time an item sells to the time the check is sent out. She admits that payments were slow after the store first opened, “and I apologize for that,” she says.

She is closing the store because she says it is too much to handle. Her husband was near death for two months, and she could not focus on the business. Massena resents the comparison to Red Cat, which closed without notice and is accused of selling clients’ consignments at estate sales and keeping the profits.

“I’m doing this the right way. I’m not closing in the middle of the night. I’m telling people to come get their stuff,” Massena says. “If you want to put a negative mark against me, I really don’t care because I lost my husband. I took care of him while he was sick with cancer for five years, and I had to take him off life support. We were married 30 years.”

“I was trapped in my neighborhood nearly all day. Thanks a lot, White Rock Marathon. I’m sick of it — it happens every year for a full day, plus several knock-off races doing the same thing. We live in this neighborhood. It is ours. This is our city. We need to make the decision-makers pay attention to our very legitimate complaints. Have you ever noticed the way people treat us when we try to stand up for ourselves on this issue?”

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Question Of The Month

We asked our Facebook fans

WHAT’S SOMETHING NEW AND POSITIVE YOU HAVE PLANNED FOR THE NEW YEAR?

This is going to be our low-key, local year. Instead of big trips, it will be small indulgences to support the local community. More tiny dinner parties with friends, more cooking together, more day trips.

—MELISSA GROVE

As a human rights lawyer and activist, I’ll be joining the worldwide campaign to eradicate sexual violence toward women and children.

—DR. MADHUMITA PARIDA

I’m going to help my dear Nigerian friends build a school in rural, middle-belt Nigeria. We broke ground last summer, and this year we hope to build so the Mary Penelope Academy can open in the fall of 2011.

—KELLY L. STERN

More exploring of Dallas!

—KERRY SUMPTER SMITH

COME PLAY WITH US ON FACEBOOK!

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1. LAKEWOOD WOMAN INJURED IN STRANGE TREE-FALLING ACCIDENT search: toppled // 2. GREEN LIVING STORE LEAVING LAKEWOOD search: Green Living // 3. RESTAURANT TALK: TAQUERIA LOS ALTOS FOR LUNCH search: Los Altos // 4. WHAT TIME WILL THE WHITE ROCK MARATHON BLOCK YOUR STREET? search: asset //

5. GREEN SPOT STILL SELLING FABULOUS TACOS search: citrus salsa at 214.635.2120 or crobinson@advocatemag.com.

Experience. Technology. Excellence.

For over 65 years Lakewood Family Dental has been helping Dallas smile. Dr. Beadle & Dr. Slaughter look forward to helping you with all of your cosmetic and general restorative needs. Our office maintains all the lastest technology and we offer a complete range of options allowing you the flexibility and comfort you require.

Bookstore Anniversary

Thank you for the article on Paperbacks

Plus [ Advocate Back Talk blog “Paperbacks Plus celebrates 36th anniversary”]. It is such a great store. I was volunteering at a library book sale last night, and one of the buyers was going on and on about how nice the owner is. I thought we were going to wind up forming a Paperbacks Plus fan club.

—JAMES TAYLOR, VIA EMAIL

Oncor Tree Trimming

This would be a positive change [ Advocate Back Talk blog, “Oncor to change treetrimming practice after meeting with Sen. Carona”] for the existing old stately trees if Oncor will really do this. Future butchering can be avoided if contractors would research the proper growth of trees. Just a suggestion for someone who wants to plant a tree: Go to the Dalas Arboretum and find that species in full growth and then take a glance at your area and visualize that tree in your yard. There are so many varieties of trees and shrubs to choose from. It just takes some research.

—BECKY AUSTIN, VIA

Good, I guess, but a little late for those of us whose trees have already been butchered. On the other hand, at least our power didn’t go out on the last high-wind day like it usually does.

—QUENTIN, VIA

If the residentswould just take care of their trees, Oncor wouldn’t have to do it. I hope they charge the residents individually for the tree trimming service they are providing.

—AF,

Via

FIGHTING TO MAKETHETRAILSSAFER

This story [“Enough is Enough”, December Advocate ] makes it sound like the tragic fatality on the Katy trail is the cyclist’s. The author labels the “speeding cyclist”, but why wasn’t the runner labeled as “irresponsible” or “erratic” for turning abruptly without looking behind her? As far as I know, the cyclist hasn’t been charged with anything, and most stories I’ve seen acknowledge the runner bears much of the blame, so why does your story paint it in this light?

—WILSON, VIA

One thing I will say regarding Ted Barker’s position — families with children use the trails. Unfortunately, children are not going to stay on their side of the trail and understand all the rules associated with a hikeand-bike shared lane like this. As a cyclist, it is frustrating, but it is what it is. Folks view high speed cyclists as the one thing they can regulate off the trails, though the issue to me, as a cyclist, is that there aren’t dedicated bike lanes in Dallas and most roads are simply not safe to share with cars because Dallas folks also feel the road is for cars only, and at the end of the day, as a cyclist I will not play chicken with a two-ton machine. I’d rather be alive than right.

—BRIAN VIA

I agree that the wording in the story does imply fault with the cyclist. However, I don’t think we need to assign fault to either side of this tragedy. The Katy Trail incident is not representative of the problem that needs to be solved at White Rock; it simply brought the spotlight.

—STUART,

Via

Editor’s note: The line about the cyclist hitting the runner wasn’t meant to imply fault. We didn’t want to ignore what happened on the trail in this story, since the accident brought the speed issue to the forefront, but we didn’t feel this story was the place to go into detail about the Katy Trail accident. Read what we had to say about that by searching “busy trails” at lakewood.advocatemag.com.