LIFE 101

If at first you don’t succeed, just be yourself

It’s high school and college graduation time again and, as has been the case for as long as I can remember, my invitation to speak at anyone’s commencement must have been caught in my SPAM filter.

But, hey: You’re a captive audience, or at least have been up to this point in the column, so perhaps you would be willing to hear my advice to the younger generation, if only they had asked.

Naturally, I would have enjoyed putting on a graduation robe and balancing one of those goofy mortarboard hats on my head while dispensing wisdom, but instead you’ll have to conjure a picture of me sitting in a recliner, feet up, watching a Texas Rangers baseball game while typing this instead.

And here’s what would have been my premise: When it’s all said and done, are you better off blending in and following the crowd, or are you better off following yourself?

I ask this because of something I read the other day concerning the failed Times Square bomber in New York City. An adviser at the bomber’s college was contacted by the media, and his comments about the bomber were both sad and instructive:

“He was personable, a nice guy, but unremarkable,” the adviser said. “If this didn’t happen, I probably would have forgotten him. He didn’t stand out.”

From birth, we’re told we’re special, and we can make a difference. We’re told that if we follow the plan, if we go to the right preschools, attend the right high schools and colleges, get the right jobs and hang with the right friends, we’ll live life to the fullest. We believe that if we can run with the crowd, and keep running beyond the capabilities of the others in the race, eventually we’ll wind up making our mark.

But speaking as someone who has been running for quite a while, that’s really not how life works. Look at people like Lady Gaga or Bill Gates or Bob Dylan or Alex Rodriguez or Steve Jobs or any number of other people, famous and otherwise, who are icons in their own right — not only didn’t they run with the crowd, they practically ran away from it on the way to becoming rich, famous and successful.

The real lesson to be taken from their lives and applied to ours — particularly those who are just beginning their lives as opposed to those of us who have already found our ruts is that they’re living life the way they want to live it, and it seems to be working for them.

Instead of worrying about what everyone

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CHRISTINA HUGHES BABB else thinks, these people are succeeding because they like themselves, and they like themselves because they’re doing what they want to do, the way they want to do it.

My commencement conclusion: Running with the crowd won’t get you where you want to go. To be happy, be yourself. You’ll find out soon enough that’s a lot harder than it sounds.

Time to throw those mortarboards in the air now ...

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Watching The Market

I recently attended the White Rock Local Market after seeing it mentioned on Advocatemag.com. I wanted to attend after reading your article about the “Texas Worm Rancher” who was a vendor (lovely and interesting woman!). What a lovely market —it reminded me of the local markets in Europe. I also met representatives of the White Rock Local Market that had a petition asking for support of local markets. They reminded me that local markets “strengthen our community, create a new venue for local farmers and artisan producers, and bring healthy, fresh alternatives to East Dallas residents.” Thank you for mentioning the White Rock Local Market. I only wish that more people knew about it. When I returned home, I read the Dallas Morning News article aboutthe status of local markets like the White Rock Local Market.Is it possible that the Advocate can do an article or blog post concerning regulations that the Dallas City council is getting ready to make and how the public can voice their opinion? I don’t want the Dallas City Council to increase the vendor fees to be the same as Dallas Farmer’s Market because it would drive the small vendor away to the suburbs. If they put too many regulations on vendors, they will cease to buy exhibit space. Surely a city with 1.2 million people can support more than just a single downtown farmers market.

—KATHA BLACK, VIA EMAIL

Editor’s note: In the March Advocate story “It’s a Farmer’s Market Out There”, we tackle the topic of local market regulations. Check the Back Talk blog for updates.

WHY ALL THE HYPE?

Maybe I just don’t know what I’m missing, but with McDonald’s, Sonic, Burger King, Braums, Wendy’s, Whataburger, Dairy Queen and the dozens of other greasy-spoon fast food joints, is another one really something to get excited about? [Advocate Back Talk blog, “In-N-Out: Six Dallas-area sites said to be under contract”, April 25].

—DALLAS, VIA

I’ve heard amazing things from West Coast friends. I can’t wait to try the fresh fries.

—MRSEBY, VIA

I’ve eaten several times at the In-N-Out in Los Angeles. It is very good fast food, much better than McDonald’s, Sonic, Burger King, Braums, Wendy’s, Whataburger, Dairy Queen, etc. Though it is pretty similar to places like Keller’s. I’m very hopeful they will open one in Lakewood or nearby.

—COLINWN, vIa a PUB BY aNY NaME IS OK WITH US Molly Maguire’s? Couldn’t they come up with something a little more original! [Advocate Back Talk blog, “New tenant for Tipperary Inn”, April 27].

—CITIZENK aNE, vIa

I like the name. We can discuss unionizing and coal and the place of it all in American history. Still, I think they should have named it Pogue Mahone so we could giggle every time we drive by.

—LIESL,

vIa

Who cares about the name? I will be happy to have some good pub grub in our neighborhood.

—SMaRTY, vIa

I would really love to see this building’s facade restored to its 1949 look, when it was a Volk department store. Otherwise, I’m excited to see an Irish pub reclaim the space.

—LAKEWOODHOBO, via

CLUELESS aT CITY HaLL

I was surprised to find myself in agreement with the mayor on a major issue [Advocate Back Talk blog, “Ethics, no-bid contracts and the city council”, April 29]. I heard much of the debate on WRR Radio. Some of the comments missed the mark entirely. The fact that Assistant City Manager [A.C.] Gonzalez had worked “hard” and three years on the contract is irrelevant to its merits. And [State Rep. Helen] Giddings’ civic endeavors? No relation. The vendors went through 9/11? So did vendors at airports all across the country. I sent an email, through the city’s website, to each member of the council. I said I thought vendors at the farmers market might be asking for the same favorable treatment that those at Love Field received. As to the claim of “millions” of dollars brought to the city by [U.S. Rep. Eddie Bernice] Johnson, that’s what she was elected to do.

—GaY HOPKINS, vIa

Wondering if you can touch your toes?

ANDREA EBERLE, 29, is a nonprofit marketing and events manager who lives near White Rock Lake with a bright blue beta fish named X (pronounced “ten”). If she could eat at only one neighborhood restaurant for the rest of her life? Starbucks, she says, because then she’d “be forced to spend time really learning to cook.”

What’s a little-known fact about you?

One of my great-grandfathers was working on the Manhattan Project at the same time the other was a missionary in China. So the fact that I exist at all is pretty random. What’s your most embarrassing moment?

I’m just hoping it’s not when this article gets published. What did you want to be when you grew up?

Lots of things: princess, scientist, singer, actress, supreme court justice and of course C.J. Craig from “The West Wing”.

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How would you explain our neighborhood to someone living in, say, Newfoundland?

Lakewood is the Dallas version of that neighborhood in “The Gilmore Girls”. It’s the closest thing to a little East Coast town you can find no ocean, but at least we’ve got the lake. What do you miss about the you from 10 or 20 years ago?

I loved the 9- and 19-year-old versions of me, but I don’t miss them. In all the important ways those girls are still who I am. The things I do miss are all about other people. I miss my mom who passed away seven years ago, or the dogs I had then, or sometimes I’ll even miss my obnoxious little brother running around playing make believe because now he’s grown into this massive football coach who’d never be caught dead wearing something out of grandma’s closet with a gray wig and pillbox hat.

What do you love about the age you are now?

I love that most of the time now I feel capable. I feel like I have the skills to figure out what I need or want to do at any given moment. And when I don’t, I have a pretty good idea of where to go to find help. I didn’t always feel that way. So that’s a nice place to be. What are you afraid of, rationally or irrationally?

I’m afraid that too many people are giving up on trying to understand people who aren’t like them. When communication shuts down — that frightens me.

Do you have any benign confessions to make?

I don’t understand why so many Texas companies feel compelled to put “Texas” or “Lone Star” in the name of their business. Really??? Does no one else find that odd?

When did you realize you were no longer a child?

When they closed the lid on my mother’s casket.

CONTESTS & PROMOS:

It’s summer vacation time, and whether you’ll be on a beach or touring the Louvre, you’ll need a magazine (for surf-side reading or shooing off other tourists, see?). Take the Advocate with you, send us a picture of you and it on location, and you’ll receive a newly designed Advocate T-shirt. Mail photos to editor@ advocatemag. com

Libraries offer free education and entertainment to the masses. It doesn’t matter what your economic status is, you can come in and have free access to books that can inform and transform you. I hope libraries will always be around in some form or other.

You’ve seen our bylines, our blog posts, our tweets and our Facebook posts. But who are we, really?

CHRISTINA HUGHES

BABB

JOB TITLE// Babb recently took over as managing editor of all five Advocate magazines.

ADVOCATE SERVITUDE// Babb has been here since February 2008.

FAVORITE QUOTE// “Sixty percent of the time, it works every time.” —from the movie “Anchorman”

MOST PRIZED DESK

OBJECT OR ORNAMENT//

Both my husband and I have been faithful library patrons forever. But my husband has become a power user since he discovered the joy of interlibrary loans. He requests CDs, movies, books via the computer and picks up his requests at our local library branch, Lochwood. So if you look for something in the DPL system and can’t find it, ask about interlibrary loans.

—PATTI HASKINS

“Surfing Obama bobblehead, which my parents begrudgingly brought me back from Hawaii.”

HOBBIES// Running

FAVORITE PART OF YOUR JOB// “Putting the finishing touches on a complex, meaningful or difficult story — in a way, it’s like finishing a marathon or giving birth.”

ANYTHING ELSE?//

“I tend to be a bit melodramatic.”

GM OF JAVIER’S MEXICANRESTAURANT

ISMISSING Search: Pepe // IN-N-OUTUPDATE: SIX

DALLAS-AREASITESSAID TO BE UNDERCONTRACT

Search: In-N-Out // UPDATED: NEW TENANTFOR

TIPPERARY INN Search: Tipperary // ‘COHOUSING’

DEVELOPMENTFOROLD LAKE HIGHLANDS Search: cohousing // FREEHOMEENERGYAUDITAND

REPAIRS — NOTRICK, I PROMISE! Search: E3 Solutions

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