Winging it

My adventures in grandparenting

As I write this month’s reflection, I’m winging across the country to visit my two daughters and four grandsons in Pennsylvania.

It’s a different experience, grandsons. Raising two girls was an experience full of joy and “emotional complexity.” Now our next generation of all boys is emotionally pretty simple and straightforward, but life is now characterized by what I might call “physical exuberance.”

I don’t mean to stereotype — I’m just tell you what our life has been like.

If you are one of our younger readers, it may seem that being a grandparent is several lifetimes away, but it’s not. As I get older, I am more conscious than ever of the swiftness with which time goes by. Yesterday I was a grandson scampering around Grandma Butcher. Today I’m a grandpa four times over. Tempus fugit.

I’m one of 65 million grandparents in the United States today, and that figure is expected to grow to 80 million by 2020. By that time, one in every three people in the United States will be a grandparent. Research shows that while many find grandparenting a highly satisfying time in life, an increasing number of grandparents face the added financial and emotional burden of being the primary caregiver of their grandchildren because of parents’ financial stress or other social problems. They need all the support we can give them.

In our increasingly mobile society, 75 percent of grandparents say they wish they could see their grandchildren more often, and only 33 percent live within 25 miles of their grandkids. When asked, “What is the most satisfying thing about being a grandparent?” 45 percent answer, “unconditional love,” and not being responsible for the discipline of the children.

Of course, becoming a grandparent can be a mixed bag. While we might have had some control over the timing of our children, the arrival of grandchildren is out of our control. And when we first gain this new status, we may have to deal with the reality of our own aging.

In fact, I read recently that folks in my generation — the Baby Boomers — are seriously concerned about being called names that sound old. Grand-Dad or Grammy? Perish the thought. We’d prefer all kinds of outlandish but younger-sounding names, inventing a new generation of handles.

Of course it never works, because the truth is that we don’t name ourselves — our grandchildren do. And don’t be surprised if the name they choose makes you sound old. After all, to them you are already ancient!

So I feel a strange calm, up here at 33,000 feet, knowing that soon this peace will be replaced with the physical exuberance of my grandsons. Do these visits make me feel older? Probably. But that’s OK. I don’t fight it.

As the plane banks to the northeast, I’ll simply utter a few lines from a 17th century prayer: “Keep me reasonably sweet; I do not want to be a sour old person — some of them are so hard to live with and each one a crowning work of the devil. Give me the ability to see good things in unexpected places and talents in unexpected people. And, give me, O Lord, the grace to tell them so. Amen.” peoplePreston Hollow author Ben Fountain’s 2012 award-winning novel, “Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk,” was chosen for the seventh annual Dallas Morning News Points Summer Book Club. Fountain spoke at the book club’s forum, answered questions and signed copies of his books last month at the Dallas Arboretum.

Karen Shuford of Preston Hollow poses with Communities Foundation of Texas (CFT) Trustee Ken Hersh. The CFT, an organization that connects donors and nonprofits, celebrated 60 years of philanthropy in Dallas with a “Generosity of Generations” panel discussion. Mayor Mike Rawlings and several other former mayors shared stories about Dallas history. Ruth Altshuler of Preston Hollow and Judy Gibbs and Lottye Brodsky of Park Cities (pictured below) also participated in the event.

Education

The Dallas ISD Board of Trustees voted to allocate $5 million to the Early Childhood Education Department to increase opportunities for prekindergarten services. The board also approved the 2013-14 budget of $1.2 billion, including about $27 million from the state. DISD teachers will receive a raise for the first time in three years. The Dallas Area Parkinsonism Society meets at 1 p.m. Sept. 9 at University Park United Methodist Church, 4024 Caruth at Preston. Certified music therapist Carolyn Dobson will discuss music therapy for people with Parkinson’s disease. For more information, call the DAPS office at 972.620.7600 or visit daps.us.

Thirteen Greenhill School students competed at the annual National Junior Classical League Convention — which celebrates Greek and Roman literature, language and culture —on the campus of the University of Nevada-Las Vegas. Hannah Neustadt took first place for girls costume, and Vicky Zhou took first place in the mottoes category and second place in the Greek derivatives category. Justin Estrada took first place in junior boys track.

HAVE AN ITEM TO BE fEATurEd? Please submit news items and/or photos concerning neighborhood residents, activities, honors and volunteer opportunities to editor@advocatemag.com Our deadline is the first of the month prior to the month of publication.

EvEnts

Celebrating equality

Women’s Issue Network (WIN) members Scherry Johnson and Preston Hollow resident Dr. Catalina Garcia wore white to honor suffragists who lobbied for voting equality at the Women’s Equality Day Celebration at Dallas City Hall. The celebration, hosted by WIN, was held on the 93rd anniversary of the passing of the 19th amendment. Photo by Deborah Brown

ClassEs/tutoring/ lEssons

ART: Draw or Paint. All Levels. Lake Highlands N. Rec. Ctr. Jane Cross, 214-534-6829. Linda, 214-808-4919.

ARTISTIC GATHERINGS

Casa Linda Plaza. Art Classes & Drop In Pottery Painting For All Ages. 214-821-8383. Tues-Sat 10am-6pm

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VOICE TEACHER with 38 years experience. MM, NATS www.PatriciaIvey.com 214-769-8560

ChildCarE

LOVING, CHRIST-CENTERED CARE SINCE 1982 Lake Highlands Christian Child Enrichment Center Ages 2 mo.-12 yrs. 9919 McCree. 214-348-1123.

ChildCarE

sErviCEs for you

EmploymEnt

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profEssional sErviCEs

A WILL? THERE IS A WAY Estate/Probate Matters-Free Consultation. 214-802-6768 MaryGlennAttorney.com

ACCOUNTING, TAXES Small Businesses & Individuals. Chris King, CPA 214-824-5313 www.chriskingcpa.com

BOOKKEEPING NEEDS? Need Help Organizing Finances? No Job Too Small or Big. Call C.A.S. Bookkeeping Services. Cindy 214-821-6903

HOLLOWAY BENEFIT CONCEPTS Benefit strategy for area businesses. www.hollowaybenefitconcepts.com 214-329-0097

INDEPENDENT STYLE CONSULT Amanda. 214-533-9000. Menswear. Amanda.preston@jhilburnpartner.com

Design star

Christ the King student and 11-year-old Preston Hollow resident Emilea McCutchan poses with her winning design for the Dallas Children’s Theater “Hats off to 30” hat design contest in celebration of the DCT’s 30th anniversary season. McCutchan’s hat design will be used in the theater’s production of Little Women in the 2013-2014 season.

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