STUDENT LIFE
EKANSH TAMBE, a sophomore at the St. Mark’s School of Texas, already has a stunning photo portfolio after using his Nikon D5500 to photograph images of conflicts on six international borders. Now he’s turned his camera on our lives during the coronavirus. “It is a disease that has no borders, yet it has created both a 6-foot and a mental border between all of us,” he says. “On the world scale, I believe it has united the world as a single people fighting against this invisible crisis.” Tambe and his sister, Ashna, who is in the Hockaday class of 2024, have started a project, “Perspectives,” which includes interviews with people about how the coronavirus has affected their lives. Check out his work on Instagram.com/ekt_photos.
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ABOUT THE COVER
Artistic sneak peek: A mural graces the wall behind Einstein Bros. Bagels at Preston Royal. The artist signed it “P.”
Photography by Danny Fulgencio. FOLLOW US:
HOME RUN
Microsoft co-founder Bill Gates and wife Melinda Gates, an Ursuline grad, bought a home in Del Mar, California, for $43 million, according to House Beautiful. The couple bought the 5,800-square-foot home from Madeleine Pickens, the former wife of billionaire T. Boone Pickens. The home features a spa, theater, pool, tennis court, greenhouse and guest house.
GOOD NEIGHBOR
STRAIT LANE NEIGHBOR
DON HENLEY’S
handwritten lyrics to the Eagles’ 1973 hit “Desperado” went on the auction block for Heritage Auctions’ charity supporting the North Texas Food Bank. The Eagles co-founder, singer and songwriter asked how he could participate in DFW sports superstars’ “In This Together” auction. He also offered a guitar signed by current band members, including Vince Gill and Deacon Frey, son of the late Eagles cofounder Glenn Frey.
#PICTUREPERFECT
Check out this inside look at the “Versailles of Preston Hollow” on our @Prestonhollowadvocate Instagram. Be sure to like and follow!
CONSTRUCTION AT JESUIT
The school is building a state-of-the-art natatorium adjacent to the athletic tower. The 29,000-square-foot facility will feature the latest in pool and video technology and include an eight-lane competition pool with automated timing and scoring systems, as well as a four-lane warm-up and teaching pool with separate climate and pool water controls. The natatorium is scheduled to open in early 2021.
BOOK IT
Check out these books by neighborhood authors:
n MELINDA FRENCH GATES, 1982 Ursuline valedictorian: “The Moment of Lift: How Empowering Women Changes the World.”
n LAURA WILSON: “That Day: Pictures in the American West.”
n JENNA BUSH HAGER and BARBARA PIERCE BUSH, former Hockaday students: “Sisters First.” Hager also wrote “Everything Beautiful in Its Time: Seasons of Love and Loss.”
n ERIC NADEL: “Lim-Eric!: Whimsical Rhymes from the Voice of the Texas Rangers and his Friends.”
n ANNÉ KOURI HUGHES: “My Life with Tom Hughes.” Hughes, director of fine arts at the Shelton School, released a book about her husband, Tom Hughes, who helped elevate the Dallas musical theater scene for more than three decades. He died in 1994.
ART ROCKS
The Ursuline Academy of Dallas held a virtual art show. Categories ranged from studio art to digital photography. The art show juror was Nishiki Sugawara-Beda, a visual artist who works primarily on painting and is an assistant professor at SMU. Her works have been shortlisted for various art competitions including the Door Prize, ArtGemini Prize and 7th National Juried Exhibition at Prince Street Gallery in New York.
Let us remember how small our differences are in the face of this shared threat. In the final analysis, we are not partisan combatants. We are human beings, equally vulnerable and equally wonderful in the sight of God. We rise or fall together.
— FORMER PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH DURING THE “CALL TO UNITE” ABOUT THE CORONAVIRUS
Postcard from the Pandemic
LILLY NEUBAUER has developed an e-book called “Love in the Time of Coronavirus.” It shares insights that her family has learned during the pandemic. The book includes crafts, toys, self-care, what to cook, backyard gardening and more. “When I’ve needed to find resolve, I go quiet and imagine my daughter telling her children about this,” says Neubauer, who has a 6-year-old daughter. “Will she talk about the fear and how we all perceived isolation and distrust? Or will she tell her children about how seeing the good in humanity during this time shaped her world view?” For more information, check out openheartedhome.com/loveathome.
ARTISTIC LICENSE
Mione Plant left a career as an engineer to devote time to her art and son. Here’s how she coped at home during the pandemic. “Funny that it felt frivolous to spend time painting a mural in my bedroom at the beginning of the year,” she says. “I find now it feels almost necessary to add extra love to my walls and to my home. Our homes are a sanctuary and worthy of beauty.”
UP FRONT
THE MOM WHO USED TO BE A SPY
From Delta Gamma and the CIA to a Hockaday history teacher, Tracy Walder spins a redacted tale of intrigue
MISSION REPORT:
Tracy Walder delights in sending a photo of herself holding a gun. She describes herself as “uber feminine.” As the author of “The Unexpected Spy,” she details her life in the CIA and FBI, complete with redactions. She was recruited while a University of Southern California sorority student and spent years thwarting terrorist attacks and hiding in the trunks of cars on her way to debrief terrorists at black sites. Walder worked as a history teacher at The Hockaday School until January and now devotes her time to her daughter and book tour.
assets in the
foreign country
How did you get recruited by the CIA?
I went to a career fair at USC. The CIA had a table, and I gave them my resume.
a position for a operative in
What was the experience like, transitioning from college to the CIA?
I don’t really recall it being all that shocking. This was the late 1990s. People had no preconceived notions about the CIA like they do today.
What was your typical day like when you were in the CIA? There’s really not a typical day. You move from office to office.
covert operation to
I saw that you have photos of yourself with a gun. Did you have gun training? Yes. I outline the training in my book. Obviously, at the FBI, you go to Quantico. You have a lot of gun training.
Tell me about what you do now.
I stopped teaching at Hockaday in January, just before my book came out. I knew I couldn’t handle teaching with a book and my daughter. It was too much. I was a teacher for about 15 years — at a public school in California for five years and at Hockaday for about 10 years.
with special agent at the FBIWhat was it like teaching at Hockaday?
It was awesome. I love those girls so much. I taught history there, and then I created a class for women on national security and foreign policy and terrorism. A lot of my students ended up going into careers in national security and homeland security. I have girls that went in the FBI and CIA. I guess you could say I created a little farm there of students who went into those careers because I think that women’s voices are missing in a lot of our foreign policy-making decisions.
What advice would you give to your younger self? Have more confidence in yourself. I feel like I did not have enough confidence in myself at all.
Did you experience gender discrimination?
Oh, yes. The chapters in my book on the FBI are pretty bad. The CIA was amazing. I’m still great friends with people who are there. Some were bridesmaids in my wedding. I really had an amazing experience with both men and women, but not at the FBI.
When you were a little girl, what did you want to be?
I always wanted to be a high school history teacher. That’s what I went to college to be.
Is your book being made into a television series?
Yes. Before it was made into a book, actress Ellen Pompeo of “Grey’s Anatomy” bought the rights to my life.
What’s it like on book tour?
It’s been so much fun. It’s been trial by fire. I got to be on “Good Morning America,” Fox News and all these different things that I would have never thought I would have ever had the opportunity to do.
I saw that your nickname was Malibu Barbie. Oh no, that wasn’t my nickname. It’s one sentence in my book. It was when I was talking to an intelligence service in a foreign country. They just didn’t like me all that much. There was some politics involved, and that’s what these men called me.
What’s the deal about your love of pink?
That is a big part of my book. What I was trying to show is that sometimes we associate the jobs that I had in the operations side of the CIA and a special agent at the FBI as masculine jobs. Therefore, women who represent any kind of femininity whatsoever are marginalized or not taken seriously in those jobs. Because women don’t see themselves as feminine in those jobs, sometimes it’s a deterrent from women wanting to take those jobs. I know some people think, “Why do you talk about pink?” For me, it’s bigger
than that. It’s about people seeing my femininity. That is who I am. I am uber feminine, and I make no apologies for it. I’ve won a ton of awards at the CIA. I had a lot of promotions at the CIA. I was the only female to graduate all the way through in my class at the academy. It’s OK to be feminine and do these things.
What did your Hockaday students think of that?
I think they were always so confused. I had a sparkle mouse, a sparkle stapler and a sparkle tape dispenser. My chair was hot pink. But then I had a picture of me and my gun and all my things that I had purchased from my time living overseas. It was quite the dichotomy.
What advice do you have for the Hockaday students who graduated in May?
They’re graduating in such a tough time. The best advice I have is to be resilient and be strong, which I don’t think is what they want to hear right now. I think that’s a hard thing to digest when you’re stuck in the middle of all this crazy, but I think this is going to make them better adults and better humans.
Homeland
“Women who represent any kind of femininity whatsoever are marginalized or not taken seriously in those jobs.”Tracy Walder is the author of “The Unexpected Spy.” Tracy Walder
“A thrilling tale... Walder’s fast-paced and intense narrative opens a window into life in two of America’s major intelligence agencies.” Publishers Weekly (starred review)— Alison Stewart, WNYC
HOCKADAY HERO
HOW A SENIOR’S ALTRUISM HELPED HER ENDURE SHELTER-INPLACE. NEXT UP? DARTMOUTH
SENIOR GINA MIELE was so passionate about attending The Hockaday School that she endured a one-hour commute from Forney. During that time, she found her true passions: tutoring at Tom C. Gooch Elementary, volunteering at United to Learn and serving Medical Imaging Ministries of the Americas to bring ultrasound technology to underserved areas around the world.
She has a sister, who attends Hockaday, and three brothers, two of whom attend Cistercian Preparatory School in Irving — a longer commute.
While traveling to and from school, the family listened to books on tape, including classics such as “Jane Eyre” and “Wuthering Heights.” She also studied and slept a lot in the car. “The silver lining about this situation with shelter-inplace and online learning is that we don’t have to spend so much time commuting in the car,” she says.
Miele plans to attend Dartmouth College.
Since freshman year at Hockaday, she tutored at Tom C. Gooch Elementary each Saturday from 9 a.m. to noon. During her junior and senior years, she served as a co-head of the program. In addition, she was secretary of the Hope Supply Co. Teen Board, which works to provide homeless children with essential items and organizes fundraisers to raise money for the group. Last summer, she participated in the Opportunity Gap Immersion hosted by United to Learn and spent a week traveling around Dallas to learn about issues such as homelessness, food insecurity, the environment and education.
During the coronavirus pandemic, she helped lead a United to Learn reading program, which involved high school students creating videos of themselves reading books for Dallas ISD elementary schools. She read “The Giving Tree” and “Big Dog, Little Dog” in Spanish.
“Gina has the ability to make deep connections with the people she touches and inspires,” says Katherine Tagtmeier, chief programs officer of United to Learn. “She is a remarkable listener who is skilled at understanding sources of inequity and addressing them.”
Last summer, Miele worked with Medical Imaging Ministries of the Americas. A radiologist taught her thyroid, abdomen, OBGYN and kidney ultrasound protocols designed to be taught to non-medical personnel. She then traveled to Peru with the organization visiting clinics in the Andes Mountains and teaching ultrasound protocols.
“Gina is the embodiment of purpose and impact in action,” says Laura Day, founding director of the Institute for Social Impact at Hockaday. “She is committed to making the world a better place through her commitment to empathy.”
TART TREAT
LOVE SEVY’S? MAKE THE RESTAURANT’S THREE CITRUS PIE
NEIGHBORHOOD TREASURE SEVY’S GRILL opened May 8, 1997. The name “Sevy” was coined after professional golf legend Seve Ballesteros. Owner Jim “Sevy” Severson says the name of the restaurant is because of his love for golf and his last name being Severson. “Wearing spikeless golf shoes in the kitchen, having complimentary logo tees and building a four-hole putting green on the side patio all tie in to this passion,” he says. Here’s his recipe for a top tart.
RESTAURANT OF ORIGIN
Sevy’s Grill
8201 Preston Road, Suite 100 Dallas, TX 75225 (214) 265-7389
www.sevys.com
TIME TO PREPARE
Prep: 15 minutes
Cook: 45 minutes
Total time: 1 hour
COOKING TEMP
450 degrees for crust
350 degrees for pie
SERVING SIZE
4-5
TOOLS & UTENSILS
Medium mixing bowl
Pie plate
Whisk or electric mixer
DIFFICULTY
INGREDIENTS
THREE CITRUS PIE CRUST:
• 1 ½ cup finely crushed graham cracker crumbs
• ½ cup granulated sugar
• 4 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
DIRECTIONS
THREE CITRUS PIE FILLING:
• 3 ounces orange juice
• 3 ounces lemon juice
• 3 ounces lime juice
• 6 egg yolks
• 2 14-ounce cans Eagle brand condensed milk (not evaporated)
THREE CITRUS PIE CRUST: Heat oven to 450 degrees. Place ingredients in medium bowl and mix well. Press into 10-inch pie plate and bake for 10 minutes. Let cool.
THREE CITRUS PIE FILLING: Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Place egg yolks in medium bowl and beat at low speed. Slowly pour in each juice — one at a time in a thin stream. Let set for five minutes, then gradually stir in condensed milk. Pour into cooled crust and bake 20 minutes. Remove and let cool completely, then chill. Garnish each slice with whipped cream and slice of citrus fruit.
Replace graham crackers with gluten free graham crackers to make this a gluten free recipe
VEGETARIAN
Medium ✓
DAIRY FREE
LOW CARB
GLUTEN FREE VEGAN
prestonhollow.advocatemag.com/best-of-2020-voting
A TO Z
A Guide to Preston Hollow
Story by LISA KRESLA is for Acres
One hundred acres: That is the number of acres that Ira DeLoache bought when he became the main developer of Preston Hollow in 1930. Other amazing facts: The Crespi Estate, designed in 1938 by world-renowned architect Maurice Fatio, originally was built on 25.25 acres. It’s now a 14-acre property. The former Malouf home on Strait Lane has 4.3 acres. Former Mavericks player Dirk Nowitzki bought the Preston Hollow estate previously owned by the late Dallas billionaire Charles Wyly. It’s on more than 2.5 acres.
B is for Boutiques
Thank goodness for the shops that survived the Oct. 20 tornado and “pivoted” during the coronavirus outbreak because we like to get our shopping on. Kory Helfman, the owner of Ken’s Man’s Shop in Preston Royal Center, has served customers at that location since 1993. His father started the business in 1964 in Garland.
“Customer care has always been our No. 1 thing besides the quality of our merchandise. We always love to say that we hug our customers, which is hard to do at this point.” Other treasures: Interabang Books, Apple to Zinnias, Bachendorf’s, Castle Gap, Toy Maven and Tootsies.
C is for Crespi
The Crespi Estate, on Walnut Hill near the Tollway, has a 28,000-square-foot limestone mansion designed in 1938 by world-renowned architect Maurice Fatio. The home was commissioned by Italian Count Pio Crespi, who had been sent to Texas to oversee his family’s cotton empire. Andy Beal purchased the 25-acre property for $100 million in 2016. Developer Mehrdad Moayedi bought the $36.2-million estate in a December 2017 auction. He then sold the home and divided the land into a new seven-home neighborhood called The Crespi Estates.
D is for DeLoache
Ira P. DeLoache, the founder of Preston Hollow, moved to Dallas in 1909. In 1922, he flew in an airplane over Dallas and decided to become a developer. DeLoache became the main developer of Preston Hollow. He purchased 100 acres to start developing the area in 1930. He retired in 1960 and died in 1965.
E is for Ebby Halliday
Born Vera Lucille Koch, Ebby Halliday founded Ebby Halliday Realtors. She was one of the first successful female entrepreneurs in Dallas and has been called the "First Lady of Real Estate." ''She was the first woman to enter what was a chauvinistic profession in a macho state,” John S. Baen, a professor of real estate at the University of North Texas, says. “She beat those ol' boys at their own game.'' She died in 2015.
F is for Fire Station
The global architecture firm Perkins+Will received the American Institute of Architects’ 2016 Build Design Honor Awards for Preston Hollow’s Fire Station No. 27. The 23,600-squarefoot fire station was one of four Dallas projects selected for the award by a jury of internationally recognized architects. Located in the Preston Center, it opened in December 2015.
G is for Gates
City Councilwoman Jennifer Staubach Gates, who represents District 13, is the daughter of Cowboys legend Roger Staubach and represents “Serviam” values thanks to the “I will serve” motto of her alma mater, Ursuline Academy. A registered nurse, she is the kind of council member who provides her cell number and returns calls and texts. She and husband, John, have lived in Preston Hollow since 1990 and in their current house on Keyhole Lane since 1996. They have two daughters, Jessica and Jordan. “Football was my dad’s job,” she says. “My parents were humble people. You wanted to make them proud.”
I is for Inwood Road
Drive up Inwood Road and check out Lovers Lane Methodist Church, Grace Bible Church, Ursuline Academy, Wesley Prep, the Erik Johnson Library, big houses, tornado-scarred homes and Jesuit, which is building a new natatorium.
H is for Hillcrest High School
Architects renovated the school, which includes a new public entrance, administration offices, a two-story classroom addition with areas for independent study, upgrades to fine arts spaces and a 1,000-seat gymnasium with locker rooms and a tornado shelter.
J
is for Jordan Spieth
K is for Kindhearted Nancy Latner and neighbors care for 85-yearold Ross Musso. Latner discovered that Musso lived alone for many years after both his sisters died. Three dogs are his companions. His monthly Social Security check does not cover his living expenses. A neighbor who prefers to remain anonymous helped him financially over the last five years, and he’s been able to stay in his home. On weekdays, Meals On Wheels delivers a warm lunch and provides dog food. Latner brought him goodies. If you’d like to help, please write a check, payable to Ross Musso, and mail it to Nancy Latner at 6223 Meadow Road, Dallas, TX 75230.
Jordan Spieth is an American professional golfer on the PGA Tour and former No. 1 in the Official World Golf Ranking. He is a three-time major winner and the 2015 FedEx Cup champion. He graduated from Jesuit College Preparatory School in 2011. He is passionate about his sister Ellie, who has autism. “She’s the most special part of our family.”
L is for Lisa Loeb
Grammy Award winner and Hockaday grad Lisa Loeb has a new album, “A Simple Trick to Happiness.” She was the first pop musician to have a No. 1 single while not signed to a recording contract. She followed that hit song, “Stay (I Missed You)” from the 1994 film “Reality Bites,” with six albums, including two that were certified gold. Loeb also created five children’s albums. “Feel What U Feel” won the Grammy for Best Children’s Album in 2018.
HILLCREST, TORNADO, NORTHAVEN TRAIL, AND PRESTON TOWER PHOTOS: DANNY FULGENCIO.M is for Meat Loaf
Thomas Jefferson High School alum
Meat Loaf (born
Michael Lee
Aday) has always been a hell raiser. Now, his life is a musical. The production, based off his best-selling album “Bat out of Hell,” appeared on Broadway. But recently, he sued Dallas Hyatt Regency DFW and Texas Frightmare Weekend after he fell from a stage.
O is for the Oct. 20 tornado
After the tornado, neighbors helped one another in a way that no insurance company or billionaire could. Acts of kindness conquered the devastation. Early in the morning on the day after the storm, one man wielded a power saw and cut down branches so people could drive the street. Others housed those who had lost their homes. Central Market rolled out a mobile kitchen, and Preston Hollow Presbyterian Church provided meals to Oncor workers. We were lucky that no one died. We took care of one another.
N is for Northaven Trail
Neighbors and leaders celebrated the opening of the newest phase of the Northaven Trail between Preston Road and Cinderella Lane with a ribbon cutting. “We’re fully connected,” says Jeff Kitner, Park and Recreation Board member. In the meantime, Friends of the Northaven Trail, a volunteer organization that supports and maintains the trail, commissioned Kevin Sloan Studio to design a master landscaping plan that includes Blackland prairie grasses and wildflowers with sections of plants to attract butterflies, pollinators and hummingbirds.
P is for Preston Tower
Built in 1966, Preston Tower is one of the original high-rise condominium towers in Dallas. There are two towers: the front 29-story high-rise and a back tower with less than 10 stories. Bernie’s is a cocktail lounge on the ground floor of Preston Tower, the swanky building behind the “pink wall.” Owners Stephen Becker and Leslie Merrill serve cocktails and appetizers. Their signature drink, called “Leslie’s lemonade,” consists of lemon juice, St. Germain and vodka.
Q is for Quaf
Meso Maya’s Avocado Margarita
n Lime wedge for rimming the glass
n Tajín Clásico seasoning to taste for rimming the glass
n 3 tablespoons avocado, muddled to a smooth puree
n 3/4 ounces of fresh pineapple juice
n 1 ounce syrup (see below)
n 3/4 ounce Cointreau
n 1 1/2 ounces Herradura tequila
Rub the rim of a 12-ounce cocktail glass with the cut side of a lime wedge to moisten. Pour Tajín seasoning onto a saucer. Roll the rim of the glass in the Tajín seasoning. Fill glass with ice.
In a mixing glass or cocktail shaker, combine avocado puree, pineapple juice, lime juice, simple syrup, Cointreau and tequila. Fill shaker or glass with ice and shake vigorously for 10 seconds. Strain the liquid into the prepared cocktail glass. Garnish with pineapple wedge on the rim. Makes 1 serving.
Simple syrup: In a small saucepan, combine 1 cup sugar and 1 cup water over medium-high heat. Bring to a boil and simmer for two or three minutes, stirring occasionally, until sugar is dissolved. Let cool completely before using. It may be prepared ahead, stored in a glass jar and refrigerated for several weeks.
R is for Rotary Club
The Preston Center Rotary Club is a group of professional men and women who meet to serve. The mission of the club is to place service above self. The group meets at 7:15 a.m. every Wednesday with amazing speakers at the Park City Club on Sherry Lane.
S is for Strait Lane
n 10711 Strait Lane is a French mansion that sits on 4.36 acres of land and comes with a spa, 10-car garage, bowling alley and a waterpark in its backyard. It also has a tennis court, gymnastics room and two basketball courts.
n 10660 Strait Lane is a 14,670-square foot estate with a private lake and jogging trail, as well as a wine cellar large enough for 6,000 bottles.
n 10777 Strait Lane is a four-bedroom home that has been called “The Dallas White House.” Amenities include a home theater with space for 24 viewers, a pool, a custom bar room and tennis court.
n 10210 Strait Lane was built in 1964 by Philip Johnson. It was featured in Vogue and The New York Times. It also has a pool, tennis court and separate media house.
T is for Thomas Jefferson High School
After the Oct. 20 tornado, Dallas ISD trustees approved nearly $132 million in construction projects for two of the sites during its board meeting. More than $82 million of that total will go to renovating Thomas Jefferson High School. Some alumni wanted to rebuild TJ instead of renovating it. District officials want to reopen the schools by the start of the 2022-23 school year.
U is for Ursuline
Founded in 1874, Ursuline Academy of Dallas is a college prep school for ninth to 12th graders. Sister Mary Emmanuel, who was interviewed in 1975, was concerned about false values, materialism and the media. “Pleasure is the be-all and end-all of everything,” she said. “They’re missing something. In the heart of everybody that God has created is that longing for happiness. True happiness is union with God. You must love God above all things and your neighbor as yourself.”
W is for Walnut Hill Elementary
Walnut Hill Elementary started around 1914 with a school election, according to the school’s website. Three oneroom schools — Royal Lane School, Smith Hall School and the school located at the intersection of Valley View and Marsh Lane — combined to become Walnut Hill. The first building had four rooms upstairs and the auditorium downstairs. There was only one teacher, Mrs. Weeks. The 20-25 students from families in the area walked to school or rode horseback each day. Four students who completed the eighth grade in 1916 became the first graduating class at Walnut Hill. The school was devasted by the Oct. 20 tornado.
X is for Xerophilous
We’d like to advise you about plants that thrive in a hot, dry climate.
Master GardenerDiane Sloan, who is a consultant on how to “rewild” the Northaven Trail, suggests: Hesperaloe parviflora, the red yucca, which is not actually a yucca at all, but a member of the aloe family. “Use it as an accent in a grass garden or English-style cottage garden,” she says.
Y is for YMCA
The Semones Family YMCA Town North supported essential care workers with childcare during the coronavirus. The organization served first responders, medical professionals, government officials and more.
V is for VIP
Here are the important folks who live in our neighborhood: Former President George W. Bush, Mavericks owner Mark Cuban, musician Don Henley, retired basketball star Dirk Nowitzi and media darlings
Clarice Tinsley and Meredith Land.
Z is for Zoning
In 2019, the Dallas City Council voted to approve new zoning rules for a 14-acre plot in the middle of our neighborhood. The vote came over strenuous objections of neighbors who believed that a highrise development in the area would make traffic worse around the already busy Northwest Highway and Preston Road intersection. This means towers as high as 22 stories can be built along Northwest Highway across from Preston Center Plaza. The zoning issue came about when Preston Place, a three-story condominium, was destroyed by fire in March 2017.
FATHER JOSH, MARRIED WITH CHILDREN
HOW ST. RITA’S PRIEST INSPIRES A NEIGHBORHOOD
JOSH WHITFIELD, a married priest at St. Rita Catholic Community, was featured in an Associated Press story that was also published in the Washington Post. The father of four is “a relentlessly good-natured priest beloved by the parishioners at Dallas’ St. Rita Catholic Community,” according to the story. “His life is spent juggling two worlds. He celebrates Mass, he hears confessions; he drives his son to karate practice, he encourages his oldest daughter’s love of baseball. He is, he says, ‘an ecclesiastical zoo exhibit,’ one of the tiny community of married priests — men who slipped through a clerical loophole created 40 years ago.” A former Episcopal priest, he is the author of “The Crisis of Bad Preaching: Redeeming the Heart and Way of the Catholic Preacher.” His children are Maggie, 10, Peter, 8, Zoe Catherine, 5, and Bernadette “Birdie,” 4.
Interview by LISA KRESL | Photography by DANNY FULGENCIOHow are you doing during these tumultuous times?
My family and the parish are rising to the occasion. We’re anxious and ready to return to normal, but not at the risk of being unsafe. I think that’s the anxiety and the stress we all feel trying to navigate those waters.
What’s your daily routine?
I get up, say a private Mass in the church with the doors closed, which is strange. Then I come into the office and do the work that I need to do, which is get ready for the livestream services. Since this coronavirus thing started, half of my energy has been spent on being the CEO of a huge church — seeing where we are financially, seeing where we are in regards to PPP loans, doing our best to keep all our employees employed and making sure the school stays afloat. We’ve had a team of people calling every parishioner that we have. We established a buddy ministry, where some of the younger, able families have been connected to some of our older parishioners. They keep tabs on each other. It’s been inspiring to see this community step up and take care of each other.
What have you learned during this experience?
We’ve been forced to focus on simple things, which are quite beautiful. Previously, we were so rushed and busy, we didn’t appreciate things like we should — a simple phone call or hanging out with your kids.
How has your home life changed?
Kids being home all the time, goodness gracious. It’s nonstop, but I love my kids, which means I sometimes yell at them, but it’s been beautiful. We’re doing e-learning. My wife is a teacher by training, and she’s taking charge of that. We stop and pray the rosary as a family at 3 p.m. There’s a lot of playing outside in our backyard. We eat out back a lot.
What does your family do for fun?
The kids put on some plays. We had a mermaid play in the family room. They’re using their imagination. My wife and I enjoy watching them play together and use their imagination, rather than plugging into a screen.
But I am grateful to have the arsenal of Disney available when you need your kids to settle down.
How are you comforting people right now? Just commiserating really. I can walk out and bump into a person in my parish in five minutes. When I do that, I say, “How are you doing?” We share our experiences. The anxieties that they’re feeling and the questions that they have are the same ones I have. They don’t have answers, and neither do I. I think it’s OK to let people know it’s OK to worry.
Tell me about your book.
The book is my view of what goes into quality preaching, which is sometimes woefully lacking in the Catholic context. I’m a convert. The beautiful tradition of Protestant preaching is clear. In Catholicism, there’s just not as much training or emphasis placed upon it. I think the results of that lack of training are apparent. That’s why it’s called “The Crisis of Bad Preaching.” We have people who can go through seminary and not actually ever take a preaching course, which is mindboggling. If you read the book, it’s me basically taking Aristotle and Saint Augustine and applying it to how I learned to preach.
What is your advice for neighbors during this time?
Call a church, even if you’re not connected to the church. If you’re
isolated, human connection is important. Realize that a lot of this is beyond your control. The only thing you can control is one’s own soul and mind. Take care of your spirit. That means meditation, prayer and whatever you do to stay mentally balanced and psychologically healthy.
Have you had any requests for weddings or funerals during this time?
We did a wedding. We can technically do weddings, but we have to limit the number to 10 people. We’re gearing up for wedding season, and some are choosing to go forward under the restrictions. We were able to provide a livestream of the wedding for them, which was good. For the May and June weddings, I’d say half of them have decided to postpone their weddings, but some are going forward. We can do small graveside funerals, outdoors with 10 people. We’ve done that.
What’s your advice to graduating seniors? If I were a senior in high school, I would be seriously contemplating a gap year. I wouldn’t go to LSU or Notre Dame and take a bunch of Zoom classes.
Do you have prayers to sustain us?
Appreciate the simpler things. For Catholics, it’d be Hail Mary, Glory Be and all the stuff out of the Catholic Treasury of Prayers, but also the Lord’s Prayer. Find a quiet place and put yourself there.
DESIGN
LIVING BEAUTIFULLY IN PRESTON HOLLOW
K itchen A id
GET INSPIRED BY THESE THREE AMAZING COOKING SPACES
BY LISA KRESL | PHOTOGRAPHY BY DANNY FULGENCIOELEVEN MADISON PARK AND MOLTENI
Cary and Mark Deuber, former stars of “The Real Housewives of Dallas,” have a killer kitchen in their Strait Lane home.
Mark loves to cook, and the family prepares culinary treats five nights a week. Their $300,000 kitchen layout mimics Eleven Madison Park in New York City, which has three Michelin stars. The centerpiece is a $75,000 French-made blue Molteni stove — the only one in Texas, and the only one with its own Instagram.
“We decided on a kitchen with function,” Cary says. “Everything is easy. There’s a place for everything. You never have to leave a spot with a plate.”
Highlights include a Sub-Zero refrigerator — filled with fresh produce and meats — a prep kitchen with its own dishwasher, custom German Kitchen Center cabinetry to organize the tools and a baking station for sweets and pasta. The massive island, fitted with a warming stove and two additional dishwashers, serves as a plating, entertaining and cleanup station.
“Everything is easy. There’s a place for everything.”
BACK IN BLACK
Elizabeth Dodson and her husband, Justin Schaffer, live in a minimalist home highlighted on the 13th annual American Institute of Architects Dallas Tour of Homes.
When she told her architect that she wanted a black kitchen, he asked, “Are you sure you want a kitchen this dark?”
Dodson likes the simplicity. “I wear black a lot. I prefer the quietness of a limited color palette,” she says. “It feels more relaxing to come home to.”
She is the mother of two boys. On a typical morning, the boys wake up between 5:45 and 6:15 a.m. They play in their rooms and join their mom in the kitchen for chamomile tea. The boys’ playroom includes a custom-made, mini IKEA kitchen, which can be closed behind cabinets.
“We wanted an open living/dining area because when we have friends over for dinner, I’m never done cooking when they arrive,” Dodson says. “As the mom of two young boys, I need to have line of sight in all directions.
“I love the calm, neutral color palettes. But this room is so airy, and there’s a lot of white, so it felt like it could carry a dark kitchen. As I was looking for inspiration in design magazines and online, I kept being attracted to dark kitchens. I love that it’s a moment of impact, but in a really calm way.”
“Are you sure you want a kitchen this dark?”
“BIG OL’ EAT-IN KITCHEN”
Sandy and Mike Landon did an empty-nesting about-face.
After testing a four-story townhome on Turtle Creek, the two bought a 3,800-square-foot house on Valley Dale in October 2016. The Landons moved into the 1950s three-bedroom, threeand-a-half-bathroom home in August 2017 after gutting and renovating the structure. The house was featured on the Northaven Home Tour, which benefitted Kramer Elementary PTA.
Mike has two sons, and Sandy has two sons — all in their 30s. The two entertain family and friends frequently. The home’s focus is a kitchen with a quartzite counter. Mike does most of the cooking, but Sandy makes her mark on the space with a giant floral arrangement she designs with succulents, quartz and seasonal flowers. A steel and glass cabinet filled with art separates the kitchen from the bar, which used to be a breakfast nook.
“We wanted a big ol’ eat-in kitchen,” Sandy says. “It’s a good party pad.”
Jehadu Abshiro contributed to this report.
FIERCE ADVICE FROM FIERCE FEMALES
AFTER LIVING THROUGH A PANDEMIC, THESE TWO WOMEN HAVE INSPIRATIONAL INSIGHTS
implants human sperm, eggs or embryos from an unauthorized donor.
What are you doing now?
EVE WILEY found out that a fertility doctor inseminated her mother with his own sperm rather than the sperm of the donor her mother selected. She thought the act should be a crime, so she set about visiting Austin every week to press for legislation that makes it a sexual assault offense if a health care provider
I’m still working on fertility fraud legislation in other states. Before COVID-19, Colorado, Florida, Ohio, Nebraska and Pennsylvania were in various stages of passing a fertility fraud bill before sessions were placed on hold. I’m also spending a lot of time connecting with people who reach out to me with their NPE (Not Parent Expected) results stories and helping them find a biological parent or cope with their new genetic identity.
How are you coping during the pandemic?
The past two years have been full of lifechanging events. We lost our home in a
tornado, had a baby in the middle of a pandemic and adjusted to a new normal. To cope, I’ve been practicing a lot of patience and grace with myself and my family. We have done a lot of managing of expectations, not giving into the pressure of getting everything done all of the time, slowing down and centering our days around enjoying one another. We have talked a lot to our small children about how this is a hard thing, and we have done hard things before.
If you could go back in time to your high school graduation, what advice would you have for yourself?
You’re not a failure if you don’t know what you want to do with the rest of your life. Be patient with yourself, and get experience to figure things out. Always be coachable, and always keep learning.
Her husband is a lawyer, and she is the mother of a boy and two girls.
What’s your schedule these days? On a typical day, I wake up with exactly 30 minutes to spare before my first virtual call. I usually start between 7 and 8 a.m. each day. By 8 a.m. I start yelling through the house with the phone on mute to ensure that our children are awake and ready for their distance learning programs. Some require multiple wakeups. If there was a camera in my house observing how I shift between professional person and screaming mom, it might make for good reality TV. I am usually on calls back to back until around 6 or 7 p.m. I do take some time to walk up and down my street — sometimes on calls.
How do you deal with stress? When I can break free, I go for a run. Then there’s family time, dinner and binge television. Things I have given up:
Interviews by LISA KRESL | Photography by DANNY
makeup, clothes that have buttons and zippers and high heels. I miss my shoes.
How are you coping during the pandemic? Running. I try to get outside each day, even if it’s for a walk. Television. I’m also uncharacteristically allowing myself to binge watch many shows to decompress. Walking the dogs. Cooking. I have taken great pleasure in learning some new recipes and being creative with leftovers. Staying connected. I have connected with so many friends via virtual meetings.
If you could go back in time to your high school graduation, what advice would you give yourself?
Have more fun. I was so focused on the next goal that I moved at a rapid pace with tunnel vision. Don’t focus so much on the destination, but enjoy the journey. Push yourself out of your comfort zone to accelerate your growth in mind and spirit.
FULGENCIOLessons from the wilderness
Finding new beginnings, faith and innovation during tough times
Everything has changed over the past 10 weeks — how we grocery shop, learn, work, celebrate birthdays and worship. It feels as if we have moved from the known into the unknown. It feels like we are in an in-between time. The village elders of our faith traditions would call this season the wilderness.
The wilderness is a time set apart from time. Wilderness seasons are unknown, disorienting, scary and isolating. But the wilderness is also the place of new beginnings; it’s the place of faith and innovation. In the wilderness, we come to find faith in a new way.
The wisdom literature of our traditions, the Torah, Bible or Quran, are full of stories of those who have journeyed wilderness seasons. We should take comfort that we do not wander these days alone; in fact, the wilderness is the place where God, the divine, hovers closest, revealing new pathways of faith, life and love. Here are four lessons from those who have traveled wilderness seasons that I believe can help our journey:
1. You are a human being, not a human doing. This season has clarified for many of us that we are more than what we produce, more than what we consume and more than our achievements. Our identity is not rooted in those things; our identity is rooted in God.
2. Seek order amid chaos. It’s tempting to make a to-do-list of all the things you need to accomplish each day (see above). Instead of ordering your days around tasks and work, seek to order your day, so it awakens you to the rhythm of the divine. Begin your day with prayer/ meditation. Take an afternoon walk and breathe fresh air. End your day by asking yourself, “What brought me life today? What took life away from me?”
3. The wilderness is the birthplace of innovation. The wilderness plays by a different set of rules. Past constraints no longer exist. It doesn’t matter if you aren’t good at something. It doesn’t matter if you haven’t tried something before. In the wilderness, everything is a possibility; anything is a potential solution. Try something new, take a risk in your business or try out that new idea.
End your day by asking yourself, “What brought me life today? What took life away from me?”
4. Renew your purpose. Frederick Buechner said, “Your vocation (purpose) is where your greatest joy and the world’s deepest hunger collide.” Pay attention to where you feel drawn to help during this season because your deepest joy and the world’s deepest hunger may collide.
I pray that whatever we learn this season we learn deeply, for this season is redefining our lives.
REV. MATTHEW RUFFNER is the senior pastor at Preston Hollow Presbyterian Church. He is a husband to Sarah Ruffner and a father of two. Follow him on Instagram at @thisismatthewruffner and visit him on PHPC.org to watch the church’s live stream and listen to sermons. The Worship section is underwritten by Advocate Publishing and the neighborhood businesses and churches listed here. For information about helping support the Worship section, call 214.560.4202.
WORSHIP
BAPTIST
PARK CITIES BAPTIST CHURCH / 3933 Northwest Pky / pcbc.org
Bible Study 9:15 / Worship Services 10:45 Traditional, Contemporary, Spanish Speaking / 214.860.1500
ROYAL LANE BAPTIST CHURCH / 6707 Royal Lane / 214.361.2809
Christian Education 9:45 a.m. / Worship Service 10:55 a.m.
Pastor - Rev. Dr. Michael L. Gregg / www.royallane.org
WILSHIRE BAPTIST / 4316 Abrams / 214.452.3100
Pastor George A. Mason Ph.D. / Worship 8:30 & 11:00 am
Bible Study 9:40 am / www.wilshirebc.org
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LEGAL SERVICES
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PEST CONTROL
A BETTER EARTH PEST CONTROL
Keeping the enviroment,kids, pets in mind
Offering Mosquito Control. Termite & rodent control 214-350-3595
FENN CONSTRUCTION Kitchens And Baths. Call Us For Your Remodeling Needs. 214-343-4645. dallastileman.com
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DALLAS HOME ORGANIZING DENISE WATERS
972.955.7389
• Desk • Room • Garage • Office
• Family Photographs
UPHOLSTERY
Clean & protect all of your fine furnishings,draperies and rugs.
38 years in business
Designer Recommended • Safe for all custom made goods FiberCare & The Cleaning Co. 214-987-4111
fibercaredallas.com