What Fourth Grade Math Taught Me

BY LURA ROTI

I’m not a quitter. If I begin a project, I always see it through – with a few exceptions.

Wallpapering our parlor was one. I found some lovely damask paintable wallpaper and watched a few YouTube videos. I spent a day preparing the walls just the way the guy at the paint store told me to. The first strip did go up easy enough. So did the second. But the third WOULD NOT hang straight.

Thankfully, I know Jay Parker. He’s a neighbor and a professional painter. He kindly informed me that our historic 1888 home’s parlor, with its windows, archways, and French doors, is a difficult room to paper – even for a seasoned paper hanger. It took Jay less than a day to paper the room.

And then there’s teaching math to our remote schooling daughter, Parker. Because my husband Shon, and I, work from home, when we decided to remote school, we each made alterations to our work schedules so we could help her out (namely, getting up a few hours earlier and working a few hours later).

Each day, Shon teaches Parker science and South Dakota History, and I teach math and English.

Of the four subjects, math is the one neither of us is any good at. And fourth grade is the year that the prefix “long” is added to the basics…or at least that’s how I explain fourth grade division, multiplication and FRACTIONS. Fractions were the final straw.

Until fractions, Parker was able to recall what her phenomenal teachers had taught her in the past, and building on those principles, quickly catch on to each new concept. But when fractions came along, and she had to learn nearly everything from me - someone who was learning right alongside her. She became quite frustrated. And rightly so.

Our daily math lessons becoming a dreaded, two-hour torture session for both of us. Somehow, we muddled through. By the end of each lesson, she would understand a concept. And we would determine that the next day would be better. But the next day was not better. Because, the minute we’d understand one concept, the next would build upon it and we’d have to both learn a new one.

In my head I kept asking myself, “Is the risk of COVID to our daughter, who has viral-induced asthma, really so awful?” The response my heart pounded back was always a resounding, “yes.”

Finally, it became painfully obvious to me that Parker needed a math tutor. And miraculously, a few e-mails later, I found one willing to teach remotely.

During the first session, I walked into her room to check on her, and she was smiling while working on a problem. Literally. Smiling.

I was also smiling. And for the first time since we started remote schooling, I began to look forward to our school time together because Parker and I can focus on English, a topic I enjoy. In fact, Parker even said, “mom, since you’re a journalist, now you have more time to make English fun.’”

Reflecting on our decision to hire a tutor, I wonder what took me so long. Simple answer? Money. Tutors are not inexpensive. Not so simple answer? I’m not a quitter. And even though math isn’t my strong suit, I CAN teach it to Parker.

I have always been a big believer in having a plan B in place – just in case.

Before Shon and I went on our first trip together without Parker, we drafted our wills. Professionally, I’m often quick to come up with a plan B, if plan A isn’t working out. And many times, I have already visited with my clients about what that plan is, so no one is disappointed if our initial plan doesn’t work out.

So, why didn’t I have a plan B in place when we started remote schooling end of August? Because with the COVID-19 pandemic, nearly everything we do is plan B. Scrap that, plan C…. or maybe D. And many times, it makes me feel like I’m getting an F in daily living.

Instead of going grocery shopping, we do Instacart. Instead of date nights Downtown, we have a glass of wine by the backyard fireplace (when it’s not 14 below!) This Thanksgiving and Christmas, we didn’t eat with family, we Zoomed with them. Parker’s Birthday party was a Zoom spy party.

We never planned to remote school. We are strong advocates for our state’s public school system and its amazing teachers, who, although they are underpaid, over perform.

And yet, here we are, remote schooling because of COVID-19. Fortunately, the vaccine rollout is underway. Soon enough she will return to in-person school and our lives will begin to look like they once did. This is not to say, it will be easy. Life before COVID had its challenges too.

I guess life is a bit like Parker’s math lessons. The minute I think I have things figured out, things change, and I have more learning to do.

parks

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