The Cruellest Month?

BY JIM MATHIS

T.S.Elliot began his epic poem The Waste Land, proclaiming “April is the cruellest month.” But given the winter we’ve had, April will have to be pretty rough to out-cruel any month since November of last year. It was a brutal winter. Too much snow. Too much cold. Too much winter. According to the calendar, the first day of spring (or the vernal equinox, as it’s formally known) happened on March 20 this year. But my yard was still deep in snow. The ground was frozen solid. It sure didn’t feel like spring. And as far as I’m concerned, the first signs of spring have little to do with dates on the calendar or seeing the first robin; to me the season begins when the first tender stalks of asparagus push through the newly-thawed ground. I will be there when they show up at The Food Co-op even before the farmer’s markets open. Then, and only then, will it truly feel like spring. (For those of you checking your calendars for signs of spring, the Falls Park Farmer’s Market opens May 6 this year.)

I know people who travel the back roads and byways to carefully protected and undisclosed locations each spring to pick stalks that grow in ditches and around abandoned farm houses. Armed with a pair of garden shears, a plastic bag and good sense of direction (or a maybe a GPS) they return each year to clip their prize. Although I really like asparagus, I have never been lucky enough to stumble upon one of these hidden patches of green goodness. And those who know the location of the growths aren’t sharing. Once you’ve located fresh, tender asparagus, it is versatile, easy to prepare and the humble stems can brighten up any thing from salads to pastas to risottos. The most common preparation is steaming gently; the kitchen supply stores will even sell you a special tall, skinny pot made just to steam the spears, while keeping the tops out of the water. But since spring also brings the beginning of grilling season, that is where much of mine will be cooked.

Asparagus, when steamed or lightly stirfried has a sweet and grassy taste. But roast or grill those same spears and the flavor becomes much richer and nuttier. Just be careful not to let them get too charred or they get a little bitter. My all-time favorite is to wrap bundles of asparagus in thinly-sliced prosciutto. If the stalks are pencil thin, I’ll put 5 or 6 in a bundle, if they’re thicker, I’ll wrap 3 stalks at a time. Drizzle with olive oil and sprinkle on some fresh-cracked pepper (the prosciutto brings the salt) then grill for 3 to 4 minutes on each side. If you do it right, the bundles will stand up like proud little soldiers on the edge of the plate. And that, in my humble opinion, is just about as good as a vegetable ever gets.

A flowering perennial, asparagus is a cousin of onions and garlic. And while the onions make you cry and the garlic will give you foul breath, asparagus has its own downfall; it makes your pee smell funny. Some claim it doesn’t affect them, but scientific studies have shown it happens to all of us, but some just can’t smell it. My parents thought I was nuts when I mentioned it, but my sister backed me up. So much for the scent and sensitivity being genetic. At first, I thought it was just me. Then the so-called Naked Chef Jamie Oliver mentioned it on TV. Aha! I thought; I am not alone. Not alone indeed. A little research uncovered an abundance of references in science and literature. French novelist Marcel Proust once wrote that the vegetable “transforms my chamber-pot into a flask of perfume.” I wouldn’t call it perfume, but Proust was known to be a bit flowery.

Asparagus isn’t the only thing that appears only in the spring; morel mushrooms and ramps (sometimes called wild leeks) are even more prized springtime treats. A few specialty stores like The Food Co-op and Look’s will occasionally get fresh morels and ramps. Don’t be shocked when your see the price… these little morsels can be expensive. Despite the cost, when they come in, they will likely disappear fast, so you’ll want to sign-up for email alerts or watch their Facebook posts for their arrival. I’ve been known to leave the office early and change dinner plans when the first of the spongy morel mushrooms arrive, simmering them gently in butter with a little garlic, served atop a medium-rare ribeye.

The rare little honeycomb-like mushrooms are notoriously hard to cultivate, but they grow wild in wooded areas throughout our area. Consequently, if you’re a brave soul, you can find your own under oak or elm trees in shelterbelts or parks. But don’t bother asking where to find them, morel hunters will take their favorite hunting spots to the grave or pass them down like cherished heirlooms.

Ramps occasionally show up in Sioux Falls stores, years after they became the darling of East Coast menus. If you’re lucky enough to find a few of the pungent, garlicky shoots, I recommend sautéing in a little bacon fat until they just begin to caramelize. That will tame the garlic taste and bring out the natural sweetness. That, my friends, is just this side of heaven. We must enjoy the sweet stalks of spring while we can. The local asparagus will be around for only about six to eight weeks before it fades from the stores and markets, only to be replaced by bundles from far away lands. The ramps, if you can find them, will be gone before that and the morels are the most finicky of them all. If you don’t hunt for them yourself, you may only get one or two chances to pick them up. But once spring gives way to summer, we’ll turn our attention to the tomatoes and sweet corn that thrive in the summer heat, and while those are delicious, I’m begging to miss spring already.

Do yourself a favor, eat something good today!

If you’re willing to share the secret location of your asparagus or morel patch, Jim can usually be found at ADwërks, an ad agency he owns in Sioux Falls.