THEHI J ABMEMOI R
&herencour agi ngwor ds
t hehi j abmemoi r
I ’ m say i ngt hi sasar emi ndert omy sel ff i r st .I bel i ev et hati nev er y t hi ngt hatwedoour ni at( i nt ent i ons)ar ei mpor t antast heyar et her oot st ot heout comesofourdoi ngs. Put t i ngi ti nt ot hehi j absense,weari tsi ncer el ywi t ht hei nt ent i onofpl easi ngHi m onl y andt ocar r youtt hegoodnameofI sl am.Anyhar dshi pst hatweencount eri nbet ween, bei tsecur i ngaj obbecausehi j abi snotal l owedorf r i endshi pt i esbr ok enj ustbecause “Y ouhav echanged”ar eal l par tofHi swonder f ul unquest i onabl epl an. Si mpl yhav ef ai t handI nshaaAl l ah t hi ngswi l l f al l i nt opl acef orus. 04
‘ AMI RAHJUMAT
t hehi j abmemoi r
I st ar t edembr aci ngt hehi j abi nl at eaugust2014.Thet hought ofdonni ngt hehi j abf ul l t i mest ar t edar oundMar ch2014. Dur i ngt hatper i od,i tf el tl i k eAl l ahs. w. twasgi v i ngme manysmal l si gnsofencour agement ! I f eel shel t er edandpr ot ect edwhenev erI ’ m wear i ngt hehi j ab,I ti scommont oseemusl i mahswear i ng t hehi j abi nSi ngapor eandt her ei scomf or tk nowi ngt hatweal l shar esomet hi ngbeaut i f ul .Ev ent hough i tt ookmequi t eawhi l et oembr acet hehi j ab,I hav enev err egr et t edwear i ngi t .I st i l l f i ndi tchal l engi ng butI bel i ev eHewi l l gui demeont hi snewj our neyaHei st hebestofal l pl anner s.Ameen. 05
&herencour agi ngwor ds
t hehi j abmemoi r
Wear i ngt hehi j abi sabi gdeci si on butsayBi smi l l ah,st ar tsl owl yandt ak e babyst eps.Hewi l l t ak ecar eoft her est .
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WANMURNI
t hehi j abmemoi r
Mysi st erst ar t edwear i nghi j abonmyf at her ' sbi r t hdayt hr eey ear sago( 11/ 1/ 2011) .She' st hr eey ear s ol dert hanme.I hadt hechanceofnotwear i ngi ty etsi nceI wasj ustent er i ngpol y t echni candt her e wasn' tmucht houghtabouti t .I want edcol our edhai r sandhav i ngdi f f er entk i ndsofhai r st y l est hen.My daddi daskmeonce,whenwasI goi ngt ost ar twear i ng?I t ol dhi mI ' l l weari tonmybi r t hdaydur i ngmy f i r sty earofpol y t echni c.Mont hsl at er ,mybi r t hdaycameandI t ol dmydadI wasnotr eadyf orachange y et !
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&herencour agi ngwor ds
t hehi j abmemoi r
Wemanagedt ocomet oan agr eementandt hedaywoul d beaf t ermygr aduat i on.T woy ear s l at er ,t hedayofmygr aduat i on cameandev ent houghmyhear t t ol dmeI wasr eady ,I st i l l want ed al i t t l emor et i me.ThenI t hought ofhowt hef ast i ngmont hwas comi ngandhowr ay af al l saf t er t hat . SoI br acedmy sel fandf i nal i z ed t heday .Ray awoul dbet heof f i ci al t i meI woul dst ar twear i ng.Dur i ng t hef ast i ngmont h,I t r i edt o f ami l i ar i semy sel fwi t ht hescar f s whenI wentf ort er awi hpr ay er s. Andt hat ' swher eI begi n embr aci ngt hehi j ab.
Ats omepoi ntoft i me,y ourhear t wi l l f i na l l yopenupt owea ri t .Y ou’ l l f eel bet t er ,l i ght era ndmor ea tea s e.
08
AZRASYAKI RAH
Ev ent houghI wast aughtsi ncey oungt o dont hehi j ab,i twasst i l l di f f i cul tf ormet o f ul l yembr acei t .Myf r i endsdon' tdoni tand I t houghtpeopl ewoul dt r eatmedi f f er ent l y i fI do.Butbef or emyeducat i oni n pol y t echni cst ar t ed,I deci dedt hati twas t i meI f ul l ycommi tt ot hehi j ab.
t hehi j abmemoi r
Thoughmyact i onsandl i f est y l emaynotbeones ofar ol emodel ,I t houghtt hi swast hebestwayt o l ear nandchange.Wi t ht hehi j abon,I f eel cl osert o Hi m.I f eel t heneedt oconst ant l yi mpr ov emy sel ft o bet t ersui tHi m.Al hamdul i l l ah,I hav egr ownt obe mor econf i denti nt hehi j ab.
09
&herencour agi ngwor ds
t hehi j abmemoi r
I t ' sok ayt onotber eadynow,becausei ti sabi g l i f edeci si on.Beconf i dent ;nev erev erl etany one el se' sopi ni onsaf f ecty ou.Hav ef ai t ht hatHewi l l gui dey ou.Ther ewi l l bet i meswher ei t ' sast r uggl e t ok eepi ton,butI nshaaAl l ahwi t hhi sgui dance y ou' l l gett hr oughi t .Remember ,y ouar enotal one i nt hi sj our ney .
1 0
HAZI MAHZAI NOL
t hehi j abmemoi r
I wasoneoft hosepeopl ei ndesi gnschool who hadwack yhai rcol or s.I ' v ehadbr own,r ed,pur pl e, bl ueandev engr eenhai r .I want edt ot r ymany newanduni quet hi ngs.Att hebegi nni ngof2014, I st ar t edt ohav et hought sofwear i ngt hehi j ab. Whenev erI seesomeonewhodonst hehi j ab,I wi l l bet hi nk i ngt omy sel f ," Whenwi l l i tbemy t ur n?"Ofcour se,asahumanbei ngI al sohad negat i v et hought sl i k e," Whati fpeopl ej udgeand t r eatmedi f f er ent l y ?Whati fI don' tf i ti nany mor e?" Butsl owl y ,I t ol dmyf ami l yabouti tandt hey gav emeal l t hei rsuppor t .I deci dedt hatI woul d st ar twear i ngt hehi j abdur i ngHar i Ray a.Howev er , t of ami l i ar i z emy sel fwi t hal l t hedi f f er entscar f sand st y l es,I st ar t edwear i ngi taweekbef or e. Nodoubt ,i twast ough.WhenI wentt oschool ,peopl est ar t edt r eat i ngmedi f f er ent l y .Foraf ewday s,I becamedi st antf r om myownf r i endsandi twasar eal l yhor r i bl ef eel i ngbutnomat t erwhat ,I don' tr egr et wear i ngt hehi j abbecausei naway ,i tmak esmef eel cl osert oAl l ahs. w. tandI ' m const ant l yt r y i ngt o changemy sel ft onotonl ybecomeabet t ermus l i mahbutabet t erper s ont oo.I maynotbegood enought obear ol emodel andI maynotbeper f ectbutI wi l l t r yt oi mpr ov emy sel fI nshaaAl l ah wi t hhi sgui dance.
1 1
&herencour agi ngwor ds
t hehi j abmemoi r
I tmaybet hebi ggestl i f edeci si onbutdon' tbeaf r ai d.Nomat t erhowhar di tget s,best r ong.WhatI ' v e l ear nti st hati nt hebegi nni ng,peopl emayl ookaty oudi f f er ent l yandt heymayt r eaty oudi f f er ent l y becauset heydon' tunder st andbuthumanschange.Theybecomemor eunder st andi ngandaccept i v e ofwhoy ouar e.Al l ahs. w. twi l l bet her ewi t hy out ogui dey out hr oughev er yst epofy ourl i f ebecause ev er y t hi nghappensf orar eas on.
1 2
SI TI NURHAZLI N
t hehi j abmemoi r
Nov ember2014mar k st wo y ear ssi nceI donnedt he hi j ab.Myst or ybegi nswhen I wasst i l l i nSecondar y2. Backt henI at t ended week endmadr asah,and i tr equi r esmet oweara uni f or m( aj ubahandhi j ab) . Thi smeanst hatt heonl y t i meI woul dbeseenal l cov er edupwoul dbeon Sunday swhenI gof or madr asah.Soev er y week endwhenI hadt obe al l cov er edup,t her ei s t hi sf eel i ngt hatI get . Cl uel essonhowt o descr i bei t .I ti sal mostl i k e t hebestf eel i ngev er .I f eel pur e,s af eandI ev enf eel pr ot ect ed.Al way si na st at eofcal mnes sand os et oAl l ahs. w. t . f eel i ngcl ThatwaswhenI madea deci si ont ost ar tdonni ng t hehi j ab.I twasn' tt hat easyt obegi nwi t h.I hadt o t el l my sel ft hathi j abi s compul s or y .I ti sa commi t ment .Y oudoi t becausey ouar ebei ng obedi entt oAl l ahs. w. t . I t ' sabi gcommi t ment . Whatwegot hr oughasamus l i mahwhodonst he hi j abi sat estt hatAl l ahs. w. thasbest oweduponus. Someofusst r uggl ewi t ht hest ar esorsegr egat i on. Knowt haty ouar enott heonl yonesf eel i ngt hi sway . Thi sshoul dnotweak eny ou.Ours i s t er si nf ai t hal l ov er t hewor l df eel st hesamewayt oo.Remembert haty ou ar eal r eadyt hest r ongestbei ngwheny ouf i r stt ook t hatst epofdonni ngt hehi j ab.I ti snoteasyand t hati ssomet hi ngpeopl eshoul dk now. 1 4
SI TI NURHAZLI N
t hehi j abmemoi r
Nov ember2014mar k st wo y ear ssi nceI donnedt he hi j ab.Myst or ybegi nswhen I wasst i l l i nSecondar y2. Backt henI at t ended week endmadr asah,and i tr equi r esmet oweara uni f or m( aj ubahandhi j ab) . Thi smeanst hatt heonl y t i meI woul dbeseenal l cov er edupwoul dbeon Sunday swhenI gof or madr asah.Soev er y week endwhenI hadt obe al l cov er edup,t her ei s t hi sf eel i ngt hatI get . Cl uel essonhowt o descr i bei t .I ti sal mostl i k e t hebestf eel i ngev er .I f eel pur e,s af eandI ev enf eel pr ot ect ed.Al way si na st at eofcal mnes sand os et oAl l ahs. w. t . f eel i ngcl ThatwaswhenI madea deci si ont ost ar tdonni ng t hehi j ab.I twasn' tt hat easyt obegi nwi t h.I hadt o t el l my sel ft hathi j abi s compul s or y .I ti sa commi t ment .Y oudoi t becausey ouar ebei ng obedi entt oAl l ahs. w. t . I t ' sabi gcommi t ment . Oncey oust ar t ,i tst ay sony ourhead.Y oudon' t choosewheny oucant ak ei tof f .I wi l l hav et o s acr i f i cet hi ngst hatI l i k et odo,becausewhen I donhi j ab,I wi l l nol ongerbet hesameper son. I cannotscr eam att het opofmyl ungset c. Hi j abdoesn' tmean' r es t r i ct i on'buti nst ead ' t r ans f or mat i on' .Fr om agi r l ,I t ur nedi nt oal ady . Fr om al ady ,y ouwi l l t ur ni nt oawoman.Butmy j our neyaf t erbei ngahi j abi wasn' teasyt oo.
Thest r uggl ei sr eal .Peopl est ar eatmewhenI r ock cl i mbwi t hhi j abon.I f el tt hati mmedi at e s egr egat i on.I becamest r anger st ot hem.I t ' ssad. Y ouf eel di f f er entbutI di dnotr egr etmydeci si on. Hi j abwi l l al way sk eepmesaf e.HowI r espondt o t hesegr egat i onoft hewor l di sat estt hatHe hasper sonal l ygi v ent ome.AndI asabel i ev er i ti samustt ost ayst r ong. 1 3
MALI AHZUBI R
I am et er nal l ygr at ef ul t obesur r oundedbyst r ong andi nspi r i ngwomen.Thedeci si ont ost ar twear i ngt hehi j abwasnotonl yi nf l uencedbyt hebel ov edMusl i mahsi st er si nmyl i f ebutal somy t r easur edMusl i mi nbr ot her s.
t hehi j abmemoi r
I twast heconf i denceandper sev er anceoft hese i ndi v i dual sf r om di f f er entwal k sofl i f et hatencour agedmet oembr acemydut i esasaMusl i mah wi t hgr aceandaccept ance.
1 5
MALI AHZUBI R
t hehi j abmemoi r
Donotbei nt i mi dat edbyt hei deaofper f ect i onbecauset hat i smucht oohi ghofanex pect at i onf oranyofust of ul f i l l . Set t l ef orbei ngbet t erandi fy ouref f or t sandr esol v e ar et r ue.I nshaaAl l ahy ouwi l l i ndeedbecomea bet t erMus l i m.
1 6
NORAI NI
WhenI f i r stdonnedt hehi j ab,I st i l l f el tat adof awk war dnesswhenev erI gooutandhav et hat pi eceofcl ot honmyhead.Fewot herchal l engesar ose.Peopl est ar t edt ocommentabout mebei ngconser v at i v eandmel ook i ngol dwi t h myhi j abon.Foraper sonwhol ov esf ashi on, i t doesaf f ectmei nawayoranot her ,butwi t ht he gr aceofAl l ahs. w. t ,I r ecal l edbackmyi nt ent i on ofwhyI donnedt hehi j abi nt hef i r stpl ace.
t hehi j abmemoi r
What ev erchal l engesHebest oweduponmei s t her ef orar eason.Ast i mepasses,I l ear nedand gr ewt ol ov et het hi ngI oncedi sl i k eandev ent ual l y ev ey t hi ngf el l i nt opl ace.Al hamdul i l l aht her e' s somet hi ngbeaut i f ul aboutk eepi ngcer t ai naspect s ofy ourl i f ehi dden,i nt hi scase,modest y .Hi j abi s notonl yast at ementoff ai t h,buti ti smor et han j ustcov er i ngmodest l y .I t ’ sav ei l ont hehear t . 1 7
NORAI NI
t hehi j abmemoi r
T ak eonest epatat i me. Seekt hek nowl edge. Pr ot ecty ourwor t h. Fai t hmak est hi ngspossi bl e,I nshaaAl l ah.
1 8
FATI N
WhenI f i r stdonnedt hehi j ab,I st i l l f el tat adof awk war dnesswhenev erI gooutandhav et hat pi eceofcl ot honmyhead.Fewot herchal l engesar ose.Peopl est ar t edt ocommentabout mebei ngconser v at i v eandmel ook i ngol dwi t h myhi j abon.Foraper sonwhol ov esf ashi on, i t doesaf f ectmei nawayoranot her ,butwi t ht he gr aceofAl l ahs. w. t ,I r ecal l edbackmyi nt ent i on ofwhyI donnedt hehi j abi nt hef i r stpl ace.
t hehi j abmemoi r
What ev erchal l engesHebest oweduponmei s t her ef orar eason.Ast i mepasses,I l ear nedand gr ewt ol ov et het hi ngI oncedi sl i k eandev ent ual l y ev ey t hi ngf el l i nt opl ace.Al hamdul i l l aht her e' s somet hi ngbeaut i f ul aboutk eepi ngcer t ai naspect s ofy ourl i f ehi dden,i nt hi scase,modest y .Hi j abi s notonl yast at ementoff ai t h,buti ti smor et han j ustcov er i ngmodest l y .I t ’ sav ei l ont hehear t . 1 9
FATI N
t hehi j abmemoi r
T ak eonest epatat i me. Seekt hek nowl edge. Pr ot ecty ourwor t h. Fai t hmak est hi ngspossi bl e,I nshaaAl l ah.
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Ser i esofpor t r a i t st ha thopest oi nspi r e, byi nv ol v i ngs t or i esofMus l i ms i s t er sembr aci ngi t . I ns ha aAl l a h,Ameen.