Restore Issue No. 03 | Mother's Day | May 2022
In This Issue Mother's Day Gifts My gift picks you'll love to give and receive
Have You Hit the Wall? A word of encouragement from guest contributor Stacey Morgan
What's Inside From My Heart to Yours Page 3
Mother's Day Gifts Pages 4-5
True Confessions of a Distracted Mom Pages 7-8
Have You Hit the Wall? Pages 9-12
What's New on the Podcast Page 13
Copyright © 2022, ABF Communications, LLC ~ P.O. Box 1804, Queen Creek AZ 85142 Scripture taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERATIONAL VERSION. © Copyright 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. All articles written by Andrea Fortenberry, unless otherwise noted. Some articles contain affiliate links. Cover photo and photos on Page 8 by Josh and Jennifer Photography.
from my heart to yours May is always a busy time of year, isn't it? If you're a mom with kids in school or any sort of activity, this month can feel a little bit more like mayhem, right? There are many extra things to attend, like concerts, performances, and graduations. There are finals and formals. There's spirit week and summer activities to plan before they get filled up. Kids are coming home from college. This month can be a blur. If you're feeling weary and tired this time of year, know you're not alone! But let's promise each other that we won't let busyness get the best of us. Here's how: By making time to rest: Rest isn't a reward for completing your to-do list, rest is necessary to keep you from completely burning out. Take a nap. Eat on paper plates. Carve out moments where you can find space to breathe. Plan for downtime and don't feel guilty about it. Be where your feet are: My friend Alison Wallwork told me this was the best parenting advice she's ever received. I agree! It's the reminder to be present wherever we are. When we catch our minds wandering to our never-ending to-do list or some other distraction, let's realign to be present wherever our feet happen to be. I hope that wherever May takes you, you will celebrate this beauty and busyness of the season. Happy May and Happy Mother's Day!
xoxo,
Andrea 3
Mother's Day Gifts New Finds You'll Love to Give and Get for Yourself
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I loved this read by my friend and coworker, Stacey Morgan. (Check out her guest post on page 9!) I got it on audiobook and finished it within a few days. Find it here via Amazon.
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I love Mrs. Meyers products and this is my favorite scent. I have the air freshener, hand soap, dish soap, and cleaning spray. You can find them at Target or through The Grove Collaborative. When you use my referral link to The Grove Collaborative, you'll receive a free $20 gift set.
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I heard so much hype about this Olive and June mani set that I had to try it for myself. And guess what, I love it! The polish lasts for a week, longer than a non-gel salon manicure. Set shown is $60. Get 20% off when you use my referral link.
I love giving these prints and devotion sets I wrote to my mom friends. Find them in my online shop
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My friend Alison wrote this devotional to help busy moms catch their breath. Find it via Amazon.
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I love this journal to help me capture memories of my kids. You fill out one short entry per day, it's quick and easy. Find it here on Amazon.
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One of my podcast guests shared this recommendation with me. I love the way it makes my skin feel so clean and soft. You can find it at Ulta or here through Amazon.
Have you ever dropped something down that miniscule space between your seatbelt and the console of your car? It's almost impossible to get it out! Enter Drop Stops. These things are the best and save me so often. I need to get a set for my couch. Find them here on Amazon.
I love coloring and I love The Golden Girls, so coloring in this book always makes me smile. I bought mine at Target, but you can also find it on Amazon.
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. ~ Psalm 23:1-3a
Mom Friends, You're invited to Restore: Soul Care for Moms! The heart behind Restore is to encourage you: to give you an enjoyable night off and remind you that you're not alone in motherhood.
GINGER CIMINELLO gingerciminello.com
We're going to have inspiring worship, encouraging teaching, dessert, and a lot of fun! Invite your mom friends to join us! Moms of all ages and stages are welcome!
Tuesday, June 21st, 2022 6:30-9:00 PM ANDREA FORTENBERRY andreafortenberry.com
Rock Point Church 24759 S. Power Road Queen Creek, AZ Tickets: $25
NOELLE RHODES noelleprhodes.com
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abf.ticketspice.com/restore2022
Childcare is available, pre-registration required.
True Confessions of a Distracted Mom, Circa 2016 Last night the kids enjoyed playing together in the bathtub. I shampooed their hair and stood up from kneeling at the tub. I leaned against the wall and watched them. They began throwing wet washcloths at each other and made a game of it. I watched quietly and smiled, I enjoyed hearing them laugh. A few moments later I was lost in thought, thinking about the kids going back to school after two weeks of Christmas vacation: getting up early again, making lunches and rushing out the door the next morning. (Then I also started thinking about watching the premiere of Season 6 of Downton Abbey later after they were asleep.)
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Their loud giggling and screaming caught my attention again. I noticed that they had splashed a lot of water outside of the tub during their game. I must have had a disapproving look on my face because my son looked at me, threw the washcloth at his sister and said, "Mom, watch us and smile!" We need that reminder as moms, don't we? So often our minds are full that we’re somewhere in the clouds or somewhere in the future, not living in the moment. Apparently, it shows up on our faces. Our children notice. They need us to watch them and smile! So often I lament the messes of parenthood: the cleaning up of spills and toys, endless laundry and dishes, the noise and the commotion. It makes me tired just thinking about all of it. Sometimes I squash out the possibility of fun because it’s too messy or too noisy. I crave peace and quiet and when it’s anything but, I guess it shows up on my face. Ah, I am so selfish sometimes. I get lost in the short-term that I can neglect the importance of the long-term. I too easily forget that I want my children to remember my smile and my laugh. I want them to have memories of our family giggling and having fun together. Sometimes that means I will have to allow messes so that fun can be had. Sometimes this means reminding myself of my children’s innocence, that they are sweet and immature and won’t always obey because they are children. I can be a mom with a scowl or a smile on my face. Either way, my children are watching me. I am so thankful for tonight’s bath time reminder: I get to choose.
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Have You Hit the Wall? By Guest Contributor: Stacey Morgan As another school year comes to an end and we reflect on the past year, there’s not much in the world to give us hope or optimism for the future. The pandemic still affects so many aspects of our daily lives. Global strife threatens national security. Economic pressures weigh heavily on families. Political conflict turns friends and neighbors into ideological enemies. Taken as a whole, these feel like dark, bleak times. At a personal level, the fears associated with each of these threats and the unknown future they portend feel overwhelming. Do you remember how hopeful everyone was for the start of 2022? As the ball dropped, we rang in the New Year, joyously celebrating what seemed to be a light at the end of the tunnel—medical breakthroughs, the end of a tumultuous election year, the schools and businesses reopening and life slowly trudging toward that light and an eventual return to normal. As the months went by and those assumed saviors failed to deliver on their promises of peace and stability, we, as a people, have fallen into despair. We are tired of feeling afraid and tired of arguing with each other. Constantly adjusting to our unfilled expectations has made us frustrated, sad, and angry. We have expended all our mental and physical energy and we are empty. We have hit the wall.
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If you’re a runner or any kind of endurance athlete, then you know what “hitting the wall” means. It’s the point at which your body, in complete cahoots with your brain, tells you, We need to stop. This is too hard. Let’s just sit down and never get back up again. Physically, “hitting the wall” often feels like heavy legs, labored breathing, and extreme exhaustion. Mentally, it’s an intense desire to just lie down on the pavement and die. Your pace slows to a crawl, you can’t think straight, and you feel terrible. Everything inside of you is begging you to quit this hard thing you are doing. There are many reasons runners might hit the wall, but as we have all learned these past couple of years, you can also hit the wall while simply sitting on your couch. And many of us, as we stand here now, find ourselves not just hitting the wall, but stuck to it like a bug on a windshield. These walls we find ourselves stuck against are not the type of physical exhaustion we hit while attempting to run a marathon; they are emotional, mental, and spiritual walls that are a shared piece of our human experience. And because these intangible walls live in our mind, heart, and soul, they can be far harder to break through than physical ones. For a little while you can convince yourself to do anything, to endure anything. But eventually, it’s not the physical pain that forces us to stop, it’s the voice in our head that begs us to quit, walk away, or crawl under our blankets and never come out again. That voice convinces us to stop trying, to stop caring, or to give up by whispering one big lie into our ears: Life will always feel like this.
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That voice in our head tells us that life will always feel this hard, that our days will always be this dark, that this pain will never go away, or that the people in our lives who we counted on to save us will always disappoint us. Our natural human tendency is to accept that lie because in the moment, everything we think and feel tells us it’s true. Discouraged, we reach within ourselves for strength to endure, and when we come up empty, we cry out, “I can’t do this anymore!” The world tells us that we have the right to then get angry or go numb. We lash out, reject those who try to help us, and rail against the circumstances that brought us to this point. Then we drink or smoke or shop or eat—whatever it takes to not feel this way anymore. We hit the wall and stick there. God offers us another option, one that is powerful and effective because it does not depend on our own inner fortitude as the sole source of our energy and strength. The Bible recounts story after story of tired and struggling people hitting wall after wall, but eventually breaking through because of the energy and strength offered through community and a connection to the ultimate source of life and love, God Himself. We may not always see it, we may not always feel it, but nevertheless, it is always there:
“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” - Hebrews 11:1 The way I see it, faith is the belief that despite what the voice in your head is telling you, you can, and will, break through that wall. But it’s a willingness to surrender your own attempts to do it alone and instead say to God, “I don’t know how, I don’t know when, but I trust you when you say you will give me the strength I need for today. I have an expectant hope that you will eventually help me break through this wall and that there are better days on the other side.” It may not be easy. In fact, it probably won’t be. This is not an effortless kind of hope we can throw on without a second thought. It’s a gutsy, gritty kind of hope that we have to chose to pick up each morning and wrap ourselves in tightly as we face what can feel like a scary and threatening world.
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When the rest of the world is telling us to be afraid, trust no one, fear for the future, or give up, God’s hope speaks the truth that a force much greater than current events or our own abilities is in control. His transcendent hope suggests that perhaps we have been placing our shallow hope in people and things that, in their failure to save us, have been exposed for the false idols they are. But God offers us the truth; that we can rest in His divine power to sustain us in these challenging times. God never promised us an easy life where He will clear away the conflict or challenges we face individually or globally. In fact, He promises us quite the opposite. He knows how hard life is. Jesus walked these roads, He experienced these struggles, and He knows what deep, terrible pain feels like. He knows all about despair and the walls blocking our path. But He asks us to have faith. Faith that He will comfort us in our pain and our loneliness. Faith that He will bring people to us who will hug us and dry our tears and walk alongside us. Faith that He will give us the strength we need to keep on going. Faith that every dawn is a new day bringing us one step closer to breaking through. This is the only true source of lasting hope—a God who promises to be with us in both the best and worst of times. We can move forward confidently into another season full of unknowns, not because we trust ourselves, or anyone or anything else, but because we trust God. When we do that, the fog lifts, the wall crumbles, and the world begins to look a bit brighter. This is our hope for the future.
Stacey Morgan is always ready with a crazy story from her own life; whether it be military deployments, carpooling, skydiving, or blasting her husband into outer space, which she wrote all about in her book The Astronaut's Wife (Tyndale Momentum 2022). Stacey currently works for MOPS International as an Executive Leadership Coach. She and her husband have four children and currently reside in Friendswood, Texas. When she’s not speaking at women’s events or scribbling down ideas for her next book, she’s watching historical dramas on PBS, laughing at internet memes, or planning her next exciting adventure. Follow her on Instagram @staceymorgan2000.
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Recent Episodes
Happy 2nd Birthday to the Podcast! The Perfectionist's Guide to Mothering turns two this month! Thank you so much for every listen, rating, and review! I truly hope you enjoy it as much as I do. If you haven't left a rating or review yet, please head over to Apple Podcasts to do so. It takes just a few minutes and will help more moms be able to find it.
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THERE'S NO WAY TO BE A PERFECT
mom BUT A MILLION WAYS TO BE A GOOD ONE. ~JILL CHURCHILL
Wishing you a very Happy Mother's Day!