Restore Issue 12: May 2023

Thoughts on Becoming

Slow growth is still growth

Find out what gifts teachers really want Question of the Month

from my heart to yours

May is always a busy time of year, isn't it? If you're a mom with kids in school or any sort of activity, this month can feel a little bit more like mayhem, right?

There are many extra things to attend, like concerts, performances, and graduations. There are finals and formals. There's spirit week and summer activities to plan before they get filled up. Kids are coming home from college. This month can be a blur. If you're feeling weary and tired this time of year, know you're not alone!

But let's promise each other that we won't let busyness get the best of us. Here's how:

By making time to rest: Rest isn't a reward for completing your to-do list, rest is necessary to keep you from completely burning out. Take a nap. Eat on paper plates. Carve out moments where you can find space to breathe. Plan for downtime and don't feel guilty about it.

Be where your feet are: My friend Alison Wallwork told me this was the best parenting advice she's ever received. I agree! It's the reminder to be present wherever we are. When we catch our minds wandering to our never-ending to-do list or some other distraction, let's realign to be present wherever our feet happen to be.

I hope that wherever May takes you, you will celebrate this beauty and busyness of the season.

Happy May and Happy Mother's Day!

Question of the Month: Teacher Edition

What is your favorite and least favorite gift to receive for Teacher Appreciation?

Favorite: Gift cards

Least Favorite: Mugs and cups

Favorite: Wine and a wine glass

I have no least favorite because I love them all!

Favorite: Gift cards

Least Favorite: Cups, mugs and food

Favorites: Gift cards, cash (LOL), cookies from this one local bakery.

Least favorite: Homemade food, unless I know your family really well, LOL.

Favorite: Handwritten notes from the student or gift cards.

Least favorite: Candles or mugs

Gift cards: favorite

Candy or homemade goodies: least favorite

Favorite: Gift cards

No more mugs, candles or chocolate

But a sweet card or picture is so very treasured. I have a "warm fuzzy" box for special things students have written for me or made me.

Favorite: Gift cards

Least: Mugs!!! Shawna

Favorites: Amazon gift cards and Bath and Body Works hand soaps

Least: Candy

A Summer of Significance

By Amy Carney

Childhood is short. Summer is even shorter. God willing, we get 18 summers with our children at home, so how can we cultivate a summer of significance this year?

Psalm 90:12 (NKJV) confirms that how we choose to spend our precious time this summer matters. “Teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts to wisdom.”

Here are six ways we can cultivate a significant summer:

1. Strengthen your family values and purpose: Have you claimed your core values and purpose for raising your kids? It will be nearly impossible to live out a summer of significance if you haven’t taken the time to define what significant even means to you.

Start by defining your core values and what you want to instill in your children while they grow up under your care. What do you want your son or daughter armored with when they leave your home one day headed into adulthood? Claim it. Name it and strive to live it out this summer.

2. Prioritize play: Too often, we look to fill our children’s days with organized activities and planned outings. While our sons and daughters certainly enjoy being regularly entertained, perhaps you can strive to cultivate more simple, playful moments and activities in your home this summer.

In my book Parent on Purpose*, I discuss how I use our dinner table to cultivate playful moments for our family. For example, you can easily plan a themed family dinner night. We still talk about the backward dinners we did when our kids were younger, where we all came to dinner wearing backward clothing and started our meal with dessert and ended with salad. Consider what brings your family joy when you do it together. Plan more of that to create significant summer moments and memories for your family. On my blog at www.amycarney.com you can read 11 FREE (or almost free) ideas for being more playful this summer! (Be sure to look for my Boredom Bucket idea for helping kids to be playful on their own!)

3. Cultivate an atmosphere of growth: What didn’t go so well for your child during this school year? Focus on strengthening that area this summer. Our youngest has struggled with writing longer narratives, so we’ll be working on that skill during the break from school. While playing and relaxing are important, it’s also crucial to keep learning and growing through the summer months. So consider ways your children can expand their learning this summer without turning to screens.

4. Teach life skills: Having the kids at home provides a perfect opportunity to teach them what we want them to know before they head out the door for adulthood one day. This summer, take the opportunity to teach your children how to do their own laundry, cook, clean, or change a tire. What do they need to know, and what can you take the time to teach them this summer? You can finally open that bank account or help your child start a business. Or you can teach them how to tie their shoes or handwrite, address, and mail a thank you note. What life skills will you purposely teach your child this summer?

5. Make mindful entertainment choices: Binge-watching random television shows, scrolling social media constantly, or playing video games non-stop shouldn’t fill our child’s summer days. There may be space for mindless entertainment choices, but we must purposely set boundaries so they don’t consume our days. Try to select documentaries to educate yourself as well as create conversation in your family this summer. Two of our favorite DVD sets we watched when traveling around the USA on our epic RV adventure were: How the States Got Their Shapes and History Channel’s America- The Story of Us.

6. Go on local adventures: Perhaps like me, you may have circumstances that don’t allow for upcoming travel or vacations this summer. Yet, we can still consider where we may be able to take the kids to explore, get out in nature and enjoy the outdoors at a minimal cost. Most likely, you don’t have to venture further than your home state for family fun. But, so often, we take the beautiful places that surround us locally for granted that we’ve never taken the time to visit . . . yet. What adventures will you create this summer that will add to your family narrative and strengthen your relationships?

Other questions to ask yourself to cultivate a summer of significance in 2023:

What does each family member need this summer to strengthen them physically, mentally, emotionally, and relationally?

What frustrated you the most this school year? Work on improving that area this summer so you have established better habits when school rolls around again. What summer family tradition can you repeat this year? Summer wouldn’t be summer without ?

Be sure to check out my Create a Summer of Significance Printable Pack featuring 20+ plan your summer. Find it at: amycarney.com/shop.

She is a public speaker, content creator, and product maker, helping parents raise their children with more joy and purpose.

She and her husband of 25 years are parents to 21-year-old triplet sons, a 20-year-old daughter and two younger sons they recently adopted from the Arizona foster care system.

You can connect with Amy at amycarney.com.

Amy Carney is the Author of Parent on Purpose* and 100 Questions for Mom.*

Thoughts on Becoming

A few weeks ago, we hit 10k downloads of The Perfectionist’s Guide to Mothering!

Thank you so much to every one of you who has listened to an episode! I know your time is valuable and I appreciate that you’ve spent some of it with me.

Can I share a little secret with you?

I really wrestled with whether to post about this milestone or not, but decided to because I want you to know that:

Things take time to grow.

Your pace is your pace.

Someone else’s success doesn’t threaten yours. Collaboration will help you get where you want to go.

I started my podcast in May of 2020, three years ago.

Can I tell you that I felt defeated when someone who launched her podcast at the same time as me reached this milestone about a year in? I wondered why it was taking me so long.

Just recently I saw another podcaster post about this milestone, and she’s only had her podcast for six months.

I’ve realized that it doesn’t matter the pace that anyone else is going because my pace is my pace. Your pace is your pace.

We’re quick to compare because we regularly see the highlights of others when we don’t see the behind the scenes of what it took them to get there. Social media does provide some with viral growth and instant platforms, but for most of us, it’s slow and steady growth over time.

I have a quote from Angela Duckworth hanging in my office:

“Nobody wants to show you the hours and hours of becoming. They’d rather show the highlight of what they’ve become.”

My heart in sharing this with you is to show you the becoming. To show you that growth takes time.

I also have another sign hanging in my office of Galatians 6:9: “Let us not grow weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we don’t give up.”

Friend, don’t give up on your dream or that thing you’re slowly but surely building. There is space for you. The success of someone else doesn’t threaten yours or mean that God has forgotten you. Your pace is your pace. Things take time to grow.

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“Let us not grow weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we don’t give up.”