CAREGIVER CORNER
SUSTAINABLE AGING AND END-OF-LIFE CONVERSATIONS It is critical to have aging and end-of-life discussions before an illness or accident because a plan to wait until a crisis arrives on the doorstep is not a plan. Collaboration is key. Co-create the vision. Have the sustainable aging and end-of-life discussions before you are enveloped in the emotions that accompany a crisis. Give the gift of a good death to all of those in your circles by encouraging end-of-life conversations. The reality is that many other meaningful conversations help prepare our family members and ourselves for aging in a way that is sustainable for the entire family. It is not important who initiates this dialogue, and each conversation is not a one-and-done event but a series of discussions that evolve as circumstances and wishes change. Open, honest communication is crucial to create a sustainable foundation for collaboration between current or future caregivers and the family members who will receive support.
PREPARE FOR AGING-RELATED AND END-OF-LIFE CONVERSATIONS
Research Options and Locate Resources
When you have an understanding of the components that will be a part of the conversations, you can decide the order and depth as you progress.
Meet Resistance with Patience
When you begin the process of creating a safe space for open dialogue, it is not uncommon to start the conversation and be met with resistance. When met with a refusal to continue the discussion, table it and revisit the subject later. You may make a small amount of headway during each attempt until you achieve a breakthrough.
Begin with the End in Mind
When we begin with the end in mind, we acknowledge the reality that all of us are on a journey with a common destination. The decisions surrounding end-of-life are something most of us will confront, and when we explore wishes with those closest to us, we are demonstrating love and care. End-of-life conversations may be initially uncomfortable and cause us to feel vulnerable but, in the end, empower us and our family members to decide how we want to live and how we want to die.
Curiosity and Vulnerability
Curiosity and vulnerability are two essential strategies that will help you explore all aspects of these sensitive topics. When we approach sustainable aging and end-of-life conversations by demonstrating our own vulnerability, we create a safe space for family members to express their feelings and emotions. Acknowledge that the subject is unsettling and uncomfortable to discuss. Being vulnerable takes courage. Having these conversations takes courage. Sit with the discomfort and then lean into it. Explore your fears. Curiosity about your thoughts surrounding your aging and end-of-life will help you begin the conversation with others. You may be surprised to find that your reflection on death brought you to an entirely different place than that of your family member. The most important outcome, especially in the early discussions, is to keep communication lines open.
FIVE CONVERSATION TOPICS
Here are five conversations that will help you create a sustainable foundation of care.
End-Of-Life Planning
Learn the terms and understand the components surrounding end-of-life decisions. Advance directives are a good place to start because of the importance of understanding your family member’s wishes and ensuring that a person is designated to support and communicate those wishes if required. Consult with an Elder Law Attorney Not all Elder Law Attorneys specialize in every field of Elder Law. It is recommended that you locate an continued on page 16 Aging Times Magazine | August 2021
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