IT'S ABOUT LOVE
IT’S ABOUT LOVE AND DEVOTION...
A CAREGIVER’S STORY
The generations that came before us might have viewed relationships and marriage differently…or have they? Does unconditional love and marriage ‘until death do we part’ still exist? For Betsy and Matt Sloan, marriage most certainly meant an unwavering commitment. You see, Betsy’s husband, Matt was diagnosed with early-onset dementia at the age of 56. His mother also had Alzheimer’s disease. Betsy acted as a caregiver to both of them. For her, love took on a tremendously new level of commitment and dedication. Betsy was tireless in her efforts to help ease her husband’s stress when he suffered from hallucinations, paranoia and when he would become irritable or combative. She met his needs with love and dedication, and also remembered to have a sense of humor whenever possible.
Caregivers truly experience a different kind of love… one that transcends one of romance and frivolity and reminds us that to be selfless in a time of need will be one of the most profound gifts we can offer. What can be learned when you are a caregiver for a loved one with dementia-related illness? Betsy says that she came away with three lessons learned.
1. Practice Unconditional Love
For Betsy and Matt, marriage was a promise of unwavering commitment. She was there for her husband,
no matter what. Through doctor’s visits and caregiving responsibilities and all of the difficult times, she was a constant source of love and support for her husband.
2. Have Patience
Living with someone who has dementia can be an extremely trying experience. Betsy learned the importance of taking time for herself and remembering that self-care is not a luxury, it is really a necessity.
3. Go With the Flow
When some things cannot be controlled, it’s important to remember to just “go with the flow,” Betsy says. Remember that it’s not always about us, it’s about our loved ones. When we change our focus to meet them where they are, that is a powerful shift that allows us to use empathy and caring and tap into a whole new level of compassion and love. Caregivers truly experience a different kind of love… one that transcends one of romance and frivolity and reminds us that to be selfless in a time of need will be one of the most profound gifts we can offer. “Dementia cannot rob the heart of love,” Betsy says. I, for one, will have to agree. Beth Douglas is an experienced marketing communications professional who is passionate about promoting quality, compassionate senior healthcare. She is a contributing writer and independent contractor with Douglas Design & Marketing.
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Aging Times Magazine | September 2021
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