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Verbal Abuse Project Synopsis Verbal abuse is often an overlooked violence, especially within parent-child relationships. The project aims to create a system of visual communications that educate people about parental verbal abuse and promote the best ways of helping and supporting people who suffer from the invisible scars left by parental verbal abuse. Aijing (Ellie) Chen // GR 620 Visual Thinking // Summer 2019
CAN’T YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT?
CAN’T YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT? STOP CRYING, OR I’LL LEAVE NOW.
CAN’T YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT? STOP CRYING, OR I’LL LEAVE NOW. WITHOUT ME, YOU’RE NOTHING.
CAN’T YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT? STOP CRYING, OR I’LL LEAVE NOW. WITHOUT ME, YOU’RE NOTHING.
Verbal Abuse: An Overlooked Violence
CAN’T YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT? STOP CRYING, OR I’LL LEAVE NOW. WITHOUT ME, YOU’RE NOTHING.
Project Objective To educate people of verbal abuse within parent-child relationships and promote the best ways of helping and supporting people who are abused invisibly.
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CREATIVE BRIEF In this chapter, a comprehensive creative brief will be shown to introduce design background, objective and strategy that are applied to this project. It also includes three pages of personas with elaborated descriptions and refined moodboards that provide inspirations for image, color and typography choices.
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Creative Brief Part 1 A blueprint that defines the overall strategy and objective
09–11
Audience Personas Fictional figures representing groups of people targeted by the brand
12–13
Mood Board Development A collage board that provides typography, image and color inspirations
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Creative Brief Part 2 Deliverables: the expected outcomes and products of the project
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Creative Brief // A blueprint that defines overall strategy and objective Background // Introducing what the topic is and how it matters
Single Minded Proposition // Unique selling point
Verbal abuse within parent-child relationships is an unheeded violence. Verbal abuse can take a number of forms, including name-calling, demeaning comments, accusation, gaslighting and more. People who have experienced parental verbal abuse during childhood are much more likely to develop mental and personality disorders later in their lives.
Reduce and heal invisible wounds from parental verbal abuse.
The lack of bruises and proper understanding makes it difficult for the abused to seek help and survive abusive relationships. It is important for people to become aware of the detrimental effects of verbal abuse and build a supportive, non-abusive environment for children.
Objective // The overall mission and goals of the brand To educate people of verbal abuse within parent-child relationships and promote the best ways of helping and supporting people, especially children, who are abused invisibly.
Target Audience // Groups of people targeted by the brand The Abused Child People who are suffering from parental verbal abuse and feel that they are trapped in abusive relationships. The Abusive Parent People who normalize verbal abuse in parent-child relationships without realizing the destructive impacts on children’s mental health and wellbeing. The Active Advocate People who have certain understanding and experience of verbal abuse and hope to devote themselves to helping and supporting the abused.
Keywords // Providing directions for the overall mood and tone Supportive One of the main objectives is to build a supportive environment where children can look for advice and understanding of their invisible abusive experiences. The mood of supportive will be reflected in encouraging and emotionally uplifting designs. Destructive Many people fail to take verbal abuse seriously since they lack knowledge and in-person experience of the harmful effects verbal abuse exerts on one’s mental health. Designs that show negative effects allow people to picture the situations and evoke resonance with the abused children. Invisible One of the features of verbal abuse is that it is invisible, leading to the fact that many people are ignoring verbal abuse and its damages to children’s mind. By showing the “invisible” nature of verbal abuse, the designs aim to attract people’s attention on the unseen scars left by verbal abuse that can last a lifetime. Other Keywords: inspiring manipulative overlooked informative
impactful impulsive misconceived relatable
long-lasting sophisticated ambivalent compassionate
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Persona: The Abused Child // A fictional figure representing the abused children targeted by the brand Personal Traits & Experiences 1.
Sophia is frustrated and confused when her father always makes fun of her shape, clothes and relationships with others. She finds it hard to speak up and stand for herself as her father always accuses her of being too sensitive.
2.
Her father often compares her to her two elder brothers with a demeaning attitude, saying that she is “weak and useless.” So she pushes herself to work harder trying to prove her worth to be loved and accepted.
3.
She takes any form of critique seriously and can’t stop thinking about it. She keeps convincing herself that it is her own fault of not being perfect.
4.
She has low confidence in herself and often feels insecure expressing her emotions and needs because she doesn’t believe that anyone cares about such a nobody like her.
5.
She feels that she is trapped in a dilemma where the words and attitudes from her father are hurtful, but she feels helpless and often hesitated about breaking away from this blood tie.
6.
She feels embarrassed to seek help and ask for advice. Though she has tried to talk to friends about her struggle, most of them do not take her situation seriously since there is not physical bruise. “He is your father, after all,” as they would say.
7.
She used to love sketching and painting, but now she hides all her sketchbooks behind the cupboard. She is afraid of showing her interest and feels no enthusiasm for her life.
Sophia Scott
15-year-old Caucasian Girl Education Level: currently studying in middle school Occupation: student Family Condition: working class family with two brothers Marital Status: single
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Persona: The Abusive Parent // A fictional figure representing the abusive parents targeted by the brand Personal Traits & Experiences 1.
Olivia is aspirational and career-oriented. Born in a middle class family, she shares the belief that the route to success is through earning more.
2.
She sets high expectations on her only child. She believes in the power of intensive parenting as she has witnessed successful examples from her coworker.
3.
She thinks that parents should be authoritative in their relationships with kids because parents are experienced and knowledgeable, just as how her parents raised her in the past.
4.
She controls every aspect of her son’s life because she has a strong need to exercise control over almost everything and take command of every situation especially after her divorce with her husband.
5.
She believes that it is her right to be critical of her son so that he can learn from failure and prepare for the demands in adulthood.
6.
The failure in her marriage somehow keeps her from being too nice and tolerant to her child, because he reminds her too much of her ex-husband. Sometimes she just can’t help yelling and blaming him on putting her under such pressure.
7.
Her son is behaving awkwardly recently as he gets nervous easily and always shuts himself in the room. She thinks of it as teenage rebellion but she has not idea what is going on.
Olivia Jones
47-year-old African American Female Education Level: graduated with a Bachelor’s degree Occupation: project manager Family Condition: middle class family with a middle school son Marital Status: married for 18 years and now divorced
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Persona: The Active Advocate // A fictional figure representing the active advocates targeted by the brand Personal Traits & Experiences
Lucas Cruz
1.
Lucas used to struggle with anxiety and depression during his study in college because of the verbal abuse from his alcoholic father since childhood.
2.
From time to time he finds himself having trouble with close relationships and open communication since his father always degrades him by saying things like “Look at yourself. Who else would want you?�
3.
He shares his abusive experiences and seeks support and advice on social media and online forums as he can find relief in talking anonymously to people in similar situations.
4.
He never considers the house he grows up with to be very violent, but when he finally manages to leave home after dropping out of college, he becomes aware that the insults from his father have exerted damaging influences on his personal development.
5.
He is now working at a local NGO that supports people who suffer from verbal and physical abuse. Helping others can give him a great sense of fulfillment and accomplishment.
6.
He understands that verbal abuse has the same harmful effects as physical abuse, so he believes it is necessary to help people realize that the scars left by abuse, be it verbal or physical, can last a lifetime.
7.
Now that he has his own child, he is very careful about not behaving like his father and proactive in educating himself on building a healthy relationship with children.
28-year-old Latino Male Education Level: dropped out of college, but self-educated Occupation: brand ambassador at an NGO for domestic violence Family Condition: middle class family with an alcoholic father Marital Status: married and having a two-year-old daughter
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Moodboard Development // A collage board that provides typography, image and color inspirations Initial Moodboards Supportive
Destructive
Invisible Supportive Moodboard The supportive moodboard aims to show positive parent-child relationships. Photographs center around loving interactions within both families and support groups. Colors are bright and delightful and the types are gentle and approachable.
Destructive Moodboard The destructive moodboard aims to demonstrate the negative impacts verbal abuse experts on children. Bold and broken types paired with images of family conflicts and desperate children provide viewers with impactful impressions. The use of dark and bold colors also helps stress the importance of this issue.
Invisible Moodboard The invisible moodboard aims to deliver the idea that the harms brought by verbal abuse are unnoticeable while worthy of attention. Blurred images uncover the “invisibility� and helpless children are presented to show the difficulty of speaking up.
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Moodboard Development // A collage board that provides typography, image and color inspirations Final Moodboard Supportive
Color/Texture
Layout Type
Objective Photography
Art Typography
Situational Photography
Situational Photography
Layout Type
Art Typography
Objective Photography
Layout Type
Art Typography
Color/Texture
Situational Photography
Art Typography
Objective Photography
Objective Photography
Layout Type
Color/Texture
Situational Photography
Color/Texture
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Creative Brief // A blueprint that defines the overall strategy and objective Deliverables // Expected outcomes and products of the project Poster Series A series of three posters that uncover the overall concept of reducing and healing invisible scars from parental verbal abuse. It features the cross-out of abusive words and promotes the better ways of communication between parents and children.
Mobile App A mobile app that provides interactive experience for people, especially younger ones, who feel trapped and seek advice and more understanding. It provides an integrated service system that offers real-time support. Offerings: • Journal: A diary function for young people to write about their thoughts and feelings and record verbal aggression if necessary. • Connection: A social media platform that allows people to search for, talk to or make friends with someone with very similar experiences. • Support: A place where people can contact their trusted adults or the national support hotlines that can help them get out of the harms of parental verbal abuse. • Words Matter: Providing detailed information of the brand’s offerings such as the toolkit and the event. It also contains a self-help course section for people to learn more about verbal abuse.
Awareness Toolkit An awareness toolkit which incorporates prints and artifacts aiming to help people understand the signs and effects of verbal abuse, and learn ways to improve parent-child relationships via accredited information, skill-building guidance, counseling supports and more. Offerings: • Envelope • Welcome sheet • Business Card • Booklet • Flash cards • Bookmarks
Educational Event An educational seminar that advocates a better understanding of verbal abuse. It aims at educating people, especially parents, about how the words they use everyday can possibly affect children’s mental wellbeing. Offerings: • Graphic walls • Roll-up banner • Tickets • Name Badges
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VISUAL SYSTEM This chapter starts with brand identity development: brand naming and log design. An annotated visual system that guides the overall design of the project will also be presented to show what typefaces, images, colors and graphic elements are used to create cohesive and effective visual communications.
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Brand Development Brand identity system including brand name and logo
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Annotated Visual System Identifying typefaces, images, colors used to create a cohesive system
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Brand Development: Name First Round
Second Round
Hush Keeping quite
Words Count
Mute Keeping quite
Choose Words Wisely
Sh! Keeping quite
WiseComm
Bless Than Blame Using better words
Thoughtful Talk
NCNH No Curse, No Hurt
Conscious Communication
No More Stopping verbal abuse
Rephrase Love
CDR Children Deserves Respect
AfterWords
Name Concept
ROVA Respect over Verbal Abuse
Behind the Words
TOVA Turn off Verbal Abuse
A Better Tone
EnVisible Making it visible
Alt Your Words
Since I headed towards the supportive keyword and aimed at changing the abusive behaviors, I decided to use the name “words matter” because it focuses on importance of words without putting an emphasis on the negative side.
Revoice Rephrasing words
Spell of Words
Melodia Melodic + Invisible Abuse
Under the Spell
Retone Changing the way of talking
Make Words Heal
InTune Staying in tune
Makt It Right
DeFume Fume being invisible and hurtful
Mend with Words
Remedy Cure and treatment Chlorephyll Turning bad things to good DeSteam Steam being invisible and hurtful Words Matter Words being important RIA Reduce Invisible Abuse
Final Choice
Words Matter
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Brand Development: Logo Sketches + Roughs
‘
WORDS
matter
’
MATTER
m w
MATTER
words matter
WORDS
WORDS Matter
WORDS
WORDS matter
MATTER
WORDS
WORDS Matter
matter
WORDS matter
WORDS MATTER
matter
WORDS
matter
MATTER
WORDS
MATTER
MATTER
WORDS
matter
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Brand Development: Logo Final Logo
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Annotated Visual System // Identifying design elements used to create a cohesive system Logos
Colors
PMS
Typefaces Cover, number: Bee Four Title, quote, footer: Agenda Subtitle: Mislab Std Body copy: Alda Logo: DIN 2014 Narrow, Mislab Std
Images
178 CP
2018 UP
2417 CP
287 U
Black 6C
C
0
0
75
90
80
M
65
40
15
70
70
Y
60
90
70
15
60
K
0
0
0
0
75
R
226
250
62
57
16
G
120
166
160
86
24
B
101
52
113
146
32
Graphic Elements
Loving Family
Support Group
Abused Child
Quote Marks
Brush Strokes
Graphic Lines
Given that this project is heading towards the “supportive� keyword, the images will focus on showing what healthy relationships should be without verbal abuse.
The project also aims to deal with how people in abusive relationships seek help and support. Images of therapists as well as support groups will show different ways of combating parental verbal abuse.
Since the topic centers around verbal bullying, images of children who suffer from the pain and struggle will also help demonstrate the harmful impact of verbal abuse.
The topic of verbal abuse centers around language and conversations. So some of the punctuation marks (especially quote marks) will be used in a flexible way as one of the major graphic elements.
The brush strokes will be used to cross out abusive words from parents that the project endeavors to reduce and rephrase in better ways.
Lines are also important part of the major graphic elements that are used to connect words as well as add visual interest to the overall composition.
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DELIVERABLES Four major deliverables, a poster series, an awareness toolkit, a mobile app and an educational event, will be presented in this chapter with both full digital versions, physical comps and items in situations. Each deliverable piece is also annotated with the design concept behind it.
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Poster Series A set of three posters that show brand concept and call to action
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Awareness Toolkit An integrated kit to help parents and children understand verbal abuse
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Mobile App Designed for young people to seek help and understanding
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Educational Event A seminar offering knowledge and instruction on tackling verbal abuse
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Poster Development Initial Posters First Round I’M SO SICK OF YOU.
SICK I’M SO
I’m so sick proud of you.
WORDS
Words C an H u rt.
OF YOU.
Reduce and heal invisible wounds from parental verbal abuse.
CAN HURT CAN ALSO HEAL
In the first round of poster development, I came up with three distinct posters that corresponded to the three keywords I had chosen: supportive, destructive and invisible.
WHY AREN’T YOU SMART ENOUGH?
I SHOULD HAVE ABORTED YOU.
YOU ARE TOO SENSITIVE.
NO ONE WOULD LOVE YOU.
WORDS CAN HURT Reduce and heal invisible wounds from parental verbal abuse.
Reduce and heal invisible wounds from parental verbal abuse.
Second Round After deciding to move on with the “supportive” direction, I created three posters that were visually tied to express the idea of reducing parental verbal abuse and advocating effective communication.
Reduce and heal invisible wounds from parental verbal abuse.
“YOU SCREW UP EVERYTHING!”
AMAZING you are
Reduce and heal invisible wounds from parental verbal abuse.
Reduce and heal invisible wounds from parental verbal abuse.
at what you do
Learn more about signs of parental verbal abuse and how to combat it at wordsmatter.com
WHO WOULD WANT YOU?
“STOP CRYING, SISSY!”
STRONGER PRECIOUS you are
you are
than you think
Learn more about signs of parental verbal abuse and how to combat it at wordsmatter.com
and worthy of love
Learn more about signs of parental verbal abuse and how to combat it at wordsmatter.com
Third Round Since the posters for the second round looked quite similar in terms of layout, color and image choice, I continued to refine the posters until they became more interesting while still visually connected.
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Final Poster Series Final Poster Series in Situation
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Awareness Toolkit Entire Collection Physical Comps
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Awareness Toolkit: Envelop + Business Card + Welcome Sheet Envelope + Business Card + Welcome Sheet Physical Comps
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Awareness Toolkit: Booklet Booklet Physical Comps
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Awareness Toolkit: Booklet Book Cover
Inside Pages
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01
I didn’t know that the way my father talked to me wasn’t the way other dads talked to their daughters.
What Defines Verbal Abuse
— Aileen, 34, kindergarten teacher
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A Guide to Detecting and Reducing Parental Verbal Abuse
are you
In the parent-child relationship specifically, a parent may tell a child that he or she is being oversensitive or play it off as teasing, “It’s just a joke!” Or a child may think his or her parents sincerely want to help them and are just being tough. But there is a vast difference between true concern and putting a person down and depleting his or her selfesteem. It is critical for both parents and children to become aware of the detrimental effects of verbal abuse and build a loving, supportive and non-abusive environment for children’s development.
in abusive conversation?
wordsmatter.com
Criticism That Isn’t Helpful
where they want it. Or they
like “You never do it right,”
may just cut children off by
or “You always eat too much.”
saying that they complain too much.
Jokes That Are Criticism
Making Threats
Some parents are so used to
Often parents know about
sarcastic ways of talking but
fears against their children.
insist that they are simply
Since they make themselves
joking. In this way, children often feel that they have no reason to be mad or upset.
seem indispensable or make
02
children feel dependent upon them, they threaten to
This is actually twisting the
punish, leave or abandon the
abuse that still makes kids
children to cause panic.
feel upset about themselves.
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Trivializing Efforts
Blaming Problems on Children
Trivializing happens when
Blame involves putting the
parents act as if something
blame for parents’ actions
their children work hard on
onto their children instead
is not a big deal. They tend
of taking responsibility. It
to minimize their children’s
can include blaming children
achievement or say that they
for some things they have
are capable of nothing. This
nothing to do with or simply
kind of verbal abuse can go
making them responsible for
hand-in-hand with criticism.
parents’ emotions.
What Defines Verbal Abuse
Are You Involved in Abusive Conversations
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It is worth mentioning that verbal abuse is different from a normal argument and there are certain signs that can help parents and children better detect whether they run into abusive conversations. A number of signs of verbal abuse are shown on the right page. Some are quite obvious, while others are more subtle:
— University of New Hampshire
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01
Argumentative on Ordinaries
Some subjects simply lead themselves to debate, like politics or philosophy. But
if parents counter opinions
their kids have on ordinary topics and try to convince them that their opinions are
worthless or wrong, it turns into verbal abuse.
Denying but Not Discussing
In a healthy relationship, parents and children can talk
sincerely and expect each
other to listen. In an abusive relationship, parents might
discount any claims of their mistreatment, deny anything
they have done wrong and
What Defines Verbal Abuse
Are You Involved in Abusive Conversations
05
I realize that my survival mechanism has become repressing. I just knew that I was never allowed to be sad or angry. — Joelle, 16, High School Student
WHAT SCIENCE KNOWS If science knows anything, it’s that “bad is stronger than good,” as Roy Baumeister and his colleagues noted in their seminal article. Humans are hardwired to pay more attention to potentially negative possibilities. That applies to words as well: We respond more deeply and quickly to criticism than praise, for example, and remember the deflating or wounding remark with more exactness than the compliment. This applies to children as well as adults. It’s not surprising, especially given that we process negative and positive events via two different systems, that the positive doesn’t offset the negative. Words are still damaging when you have one loving parent who uses his or her words with care and one who is in fact verbally aggressive. Researcher Ann Polcari and her team proved this in a study
How It Impacts Children’s Lives 12
How It Impacts Children’s Lives
of whether or not affectionate behavior by one parent could mitigate or buffer a child from the damage inflicted by a verbally aggressive parent. Even more salient is the finding that if the parent who is verbally abusive later shows affectionate behavior, the effect of the abuse isn’t ameliorated.
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What Defines Verbal Abuse
02
07
02
IT CHANGES THE DEVELOPING BRAIN
The work of Martin A. Teicher showed that the human brain is highly adaptable. The evolutionary goal is for children to adapt to whatever environment, so that they are not in a constant state of stress. Born into a safe and attentive environment, the kid’s brain develops normally; when born into a family which is either unsupportive or hostile, the brain does not.
A study of some 2,000 adults in their 60s found that when it came to telling their life stories, they recalled painful events quite differently—even when there’s been a long interval of time since they occurred—with the exception of childhood trauma. Scholars concluded that elders perceived positive events as central to their lives largely due to cultural norms, but that negative events were perceived as central or a turning point because of the related coping skills and also emotional distress.
Are You Involved in Abusive Conversations
Are You Involved in Abusive Conversations
How It Impacts Children’s Lives
to steer the conversation
form of “you” statements,
02
The trouble is, when kids get involved in a verbally abusive relationship, it makes them unsure of themselves, unable to recognize their true value and sometimes incapable of adapting to life’s many challenges.
How It Impacts Children’s Lives
criticisms often come in the
01
How It Impacts Children’s Lives
their turn to talk. They try
What Defines Verbal Abuse
Parents may stop children from talking about certain topics or tell them it’s not
putting them down. These
American parents surveyed reported one or more cases of verbal bullying toward children in their homes.
03
the ones with a problem.
Controlling the Conversation
making children aware of a space for improvement and
8 COMMONS SIGNS OF VERBAL ABUSE: Everyone can get into arguments from time to time and sometimes it is easy to lose our cool and yell. It’s all part of being human. But verbal abuse isn’t normal.
Are You Involved in Abusive Conversations
even insist that children are
04
There’s a difference between
63
%
OF OVER 3,000
Name-calling and cursing are some of the easily recognized forms of verbal abuse, but small things like the tone of speaking, facial expressions and even interjections can in fact contribute to verbal abuse too. In some occasions, criticism becomes more severe than yelling and screaming. Verbal bullying also refers to what is not being said. A lack of response can make the abused feel as if he or she does not even exist, or simply doesn’t “deserve” an answer.
What Defines Verbal Abuse
Unfortunately, people may not even realize when verbal abuse is taking place. Compared to physical abuse, verbal abuse is more of a gray area, because it can be just as hurtful, but has no clear way of even being proven.
What Defines Verbal Abuse
01 What Defines Verbal Abuse
INVOLVED
Reduce and heal invisible wounds from parental verbal abuse.
What Defines Verbal Abuse
What Defines Verbal Abuse
01
A CONTEXTUAL DEFINITION Verbal abuse, also known as verbal bullying, is the repeated improper and excessive use of language to criticize, threaten, insult or belittle a person, causing emotional harm. Just because verbal abuse doesn’t leave a physical scar does not mean that it did not deeply hurt the abused ones.
Studies show that various parts of the brain are affected by a hostile situation, among them the corpus callosum (the conduit for transferring motor, sensory, and cognitive information between the two hemisphere of the brain); the hippocampus (part of the limbic system which regulates emotion); and the frontal cortex (controls thought as well as decision making). This information seems genuinely terrifying, but it also appears to be beyond dispute.
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How It Impacts Children’s Lives
Are You Involved in Abusive Conversations
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Awareness Toolkit: Booklet Inside Pages
04 Additional Info and Support
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Researchers found that individuals who have experienced parental verbal abuse during childhood are three times more likely to have narcissistic, paranoid, as well as obsessivecompulsive disorders during adolescence and early adulthood.
Growing up with parental denial and verbal aggression, children might arm themselves against the pain, which only lessens their already impaired ability to manage negative emotion and self-soothe. They may become constantly flooded with feelings which can further limit the growth of their emotional intelligence, a skill set built on identifying emotions and processing them.
We strive to help parents and children build healthy and loving connections.
RESOURCES FOR MORE SUPPORT
I’m so critical of myself and overly sensitive to others’ intentions.
REFERENCE
Seeking help for the child is the first and most important step toward recovery from abusive conversations. Yet another effort should be to get help for the verbally abusive parents and other family members. Here are some national resources that can help: The National Domestic Violence Hotline can be reached 24/7 via call or chat (1-800-799-7233 or TTY 1-800-787-3224) and can access service providers and shelters across the U.S. to supply free and confidential support.
— Amelia, 27, Nursing Assistant
Words Matter educates people of parental verbal abuse and promotes the best ways of helping and supporting children who have been struggled with abusive relationships.
How It Impacts Children’s Lives
Are You Involved in Abusive Conversations
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How to Heal Invisible Scars
Try to deal only with the
alone, go to another room.
present rather than letting
spouse or a friend. Be sure
If he’s too young for that,
all the stressful incidents
to do this in private, where
try walking to the other end
that have already piled up
your child won’t hear you
of the room. Then take a
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Yelling at Children (Verbal Abuse) https://consumer.healthday.com/encyclopedia/ children-s-health-10/child-development-news124/yelling-at-children-verbal-abuse-648565.html
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How to Deal With Verbal Abuse Your Parents https://www.wikihow.com/Deal-With-EmotionalAbuse-from-Your-Parents-(for-Adolescents)
few slow and deep breaths,
and mess up your choice of
unintentional words.
seeking to let go of the
words towards children.
Additional Info and Support
A GUIDANCE FOR CHILDREN The first step in recovering from parental verbal abuse is recognizing that it actually took place. This is difficult for children for many reasons, including “normalizing” the household; still wanting a connection to the parent or parents; buying into the cultural notion that parental verbal abuse isn’t really corrosive; and more.
situation emotionally. Wait for five minutes (or more if needed) before talking to
Below are a few basic coping techniques to respond to the abuse while it is happening. Reach out to someone you trust if you need help and support. Focus on taking care of yourself and healing from the abuse as much as you can:
your child.
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freepik.com
Are You Involved in Abusive Conversations
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How to Heal Invisible Scars
03
03
— Michael, 53, Engineer
overcome your emotions
and feel wounded by your
Are You Involved in Abusive Conversations
The Enduring Pain of Childhood Verbal Abuse https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/ tech-support/201611/the-enduring-pain-childhoodverbal-abuse
01 02
It’s Not Your Fault
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Understand that it’s not your fault and recognize abusive patterns. Learning to recognize the warning signs can help you prepare yourself better or plan to avoid situations where abuse is most likely to happen.
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Calm down and Respond Try to stay calm when abuse takes place and Let your parents know that the behavior is not acceptable. If your parent begins yelling at you or belittling you, stop and take a few deep breaths before you respond. It can be scary to stand up for yourself, but the abuse may never stop if you don’t say something.
Are You Involved in Abusive Conversations
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Stay Away When Needed Minimize time around your abusive parents if possible. If you can, find ways to minimize your time with the parent when they are being abusive, either by finding a safe space inside your home or by spending time outside your home.
Share Your Thoughts Talk to a friend or confide in an adult you trust. A supportive friend should listen without being judgmental or putting you down. A supportive adult may be able to offer suggestions for dealing with the situation, or help get you in touch with a professional who can help you.
Reach out for Help Call for help if you are feeling threatened. If you ever feel like you are in danger, or if your abusive parent attacks you physically, get away from them as soon as you are able and go someplace where you feel safe.
How to Heal Invisible Scars
06 07 08
Seek Help from Authority
03
Report to an adult in authority. If you feel like you’re in danger or cannot take it any longer, tell an adult who’s in authority. This might be a teacher, school counselor, physician or nurse, child care provider, or law enforcement officer.
How to Heal Invisible Scars
How to Heal Invisible Scars
03 | Focus on the Present
If your child could be left
or resentment with your
01 | Learn to Share
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How to Heal Invisible Scars
Learning how to parent can be a long process. And frankly, it involves a lot of effort and troubleshooting. In moments of stress and anger, try to refrain from saying anything mean or sarcastic to your child. Remember, you’re his or her main and most important role model. Here are three ways on the right page that help you calm down:
02 | Take a “Time-Out”
Share your feelings of anger
How to Heal Invisible Scars
How to Heal Invisible Scars
Parents are vulnerable to becoming involved in maltreatment if stressful incidents in their lives build up or if they are unable to manage these stresses. Apart from some extreme cases like sadistic psychosis, the lack of capacity for understanding and dealing with children or false ideas about children’s needs can also result in verbal abuse.
Definition of Verbal Abuse https://legaldictionary.net/verbal-abuse/ Would You Recognize Verbal Abuse? https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/abuse/ would-you-recognize-verbal-abuse-heres-whatyou-need-to-know/
Recovery is a pretty long process, but I realized that I had to get to the root of my stress.
03
A GUIDANCE FOR PARENTS
02–03 03–04, 06–09
Images
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03
04
— Words Matter
National Child Abuse Hotline can be reached 24/7 at 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) for information on free help in your area.
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Additional Info and Support
Additional Info and Support
Verbal abuse in childhood can have a lasting impact on children’s development. A verbally abused child tends to suffer from rejection sensitivity and low self-esteem, have anxious style of attachment, or even become prone to rumination and perhaps depression. There is the direct effect of the verbal abuse in the moment, which inflicts deep emotional pain. In most cases, this is an established pattern of repetitive behavior, so in addition to the cycle of pain, the child also develops coping mechanisms, many of them maladaptive.
04
How It Impacts Children’s Lives
THE PSYCHOLOGICAL IMPACT
Do Things You Enjoy Build your self-esteem with positive self-talk and do things you truly enjoy. If you have dealt with your parents’ verbal abuse for years, it may take a toll on you and your emotional health. Any time you catch yourself thinking any negative thought, try to come up with something positive instead or put your attention on things that help you relax.
It’s Fine to Love Recognize that it’s okay to still love your parents. It’s normal to feel confused or have mixed feelings when you deal with parental verbal abuse. Your concern, however, shouldn’t stop you from getting help or talking about it with someone you trust. It’s possible to get help dealing with abuse and still care about your parents.
Are You Involved in Abusive Conversations
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Book Marks Physical Comps
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Educational Event: Tickets + Badges Tickets + Badges Physical Comps
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Our Mission: Reduce and heal invisible wounds from parental verbal abuse. For more information on the topic of parental verbal abuse, visit wordsmatter.com
Aijing (Ellie) Chen // GR 620 Visual Thinking // Summer 2019