last post PETS AND AIRSOFT
PETS..? IN AIRSOFT..?? .??
OVER MANY YEARS (DECADES?) OF WRITING ABOUT AIRSOFT, FRENCHIE HAS COVERED NUMEROUS TOPICS AND SUBJECTS BUT MAYBE NONE QUITE SO ESOTERIC AS THIS ONE, AS HE RUMINATES, COGITATES AND REFLECTS ON THE SUBJECT OF PETS IN AIRSOFT…
A
s I have mentioned on more than one occasion before, I have been writing about airsoft for quite a while and this has one serious drawback, to wit, eventually you realise that you have pretty much written about everything that’s worth commenting on. That inevitably leaves only those subjects which frankly aren’t worth commenting on but which become increasingly attractive as you stare down the barrel of a monthly deadline. So, having just watched my cat throw up on the living room floor and with my dog in the vets recovering from a Nad-a-dectomy, let us consider the place of pets in airsoft. (Look, if you think that this is likely to be serious, please go and check out the reviews.) Obviously, pets have NO place in airsoft but as we emerge from the global pandemic into a world full of new opportunities and changing attitudes, maybe it’s time that we in the airsofting community opened our eyes and considered sharing our sport with our best friends - the furry ones that is! Cats would, in fairness, hate airsoft. They lack thumbs which means that their ability to hold a gun is limited …although I suppose we could make a little harness for the gun allied to a mouth-operated switch. That done, they may learn to enjoy it. They are mostly consummate hunters and, apart from the terminally lazy ones, they enjoy stalking their prey and they are utterly merciless. I can foresee problems when some utter b******d of a cat sneaks up on an unsuspecting player and unloads all the ammunition
they have simply because they like the way their victims squeals and dances (any of you who own cats will know exactly what I mean)! Dogs would be more amenable, although the lack of thumbs is also an issue. However, taking our cue from the feline solution we have the advantage that many breeds of dog could happily carry a support weapon all day, along with a consummate supply of ammunition. Dogs are athletic and are natural predators and so should require minimal motivation. “Doggles” are already widely available, as is doggy body armour, so man’s best friend can avoid injury too. Just to get a feel for what this would add to a game, imagine you are defending a fixed position when a rustle in a bush grabs your attention. Without pause, an exemplary specimen of a German Shepherd launches itself at you, teeth bared, back-mounted PKM spraying plastic death. It would make for great videos - and help with constipation no end!
“I CAN FORESEE PROBLEMS WHEN SOME UTTER B******D OF A CAT SNEAKS UP ON AN UNSUSPECTING PLAYER AND UNLOADS ALL THE AMMUNITION THEY HAVE SIMPLY BECAUSE THEY LIKE THE WAY THEIR VICTIMS SQUEALS AND DANCES (ANY OF YOU WHO OWN CATS WILL KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN)!”
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JULY 2021
