How to be a
Lesbian in Japan Or, more specifically, how to date women as another woman in Japan Clare Grady (Hyogo JET Alumnus)
This is something I thought was impossible when I moved to Japan in 2012 as a new JET ALT questioning her sexuality. But here I am now, on the other side (with a girlfriend of 1.5 years), after having figured it all out on my own. There were no resources I could find at that time, so I want to create those resources for other women like myself who want to get into the wlw (women-loving women) dating world in Japan. Because it is very possible! Japanese Lesbian Culture
Top/Bottom Relationships
Having coming out in Japan, I am not the best person to make comparisons between lesbian culture in Japan versus other countries but I have noticed, and had confirmed by others, that lesbian couples in Japan tend to adhere
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to the traditional roles of a top (“tachi”) and a bottom (“neko”) more so than abroad. While I have seen some girls speak out against this culture of announcing to others your “position,” it is included in almost all dating profiles and will definitely come up in conversations about dating. It can even be a determining factor in whether you can be friends with another lesbian or not! Two neko or two tachi can hang out as friends no problem, but a tachi and a neko together? That would be a date and possibly considered cheating if either person has a significant other. As most of my friends are non-lesbian foreigners, and my (Japanese) girlfriend is not into that clear-cut top/bottom culture either, I have not had any issue with this so far. But, this culture does exist, so do not be surprised if it happens to you! Also, don’t be surprised if
