l Change

By Cynthia McFarland

It’s that time again. You flip the calendar to a fresh, new year and think, ‘this is the year I’m going to do it’—whatever that “it” may be.

Quit smoking. Be more grateful. Eat better. Stop overcommitting.

Admit it. This isn’t the first year you’ve had the desire to change, but why is it so hard to make something good for you into a habit? It only takes a few weeks to form a habit, right?

Wrong.

Psychologist Jeremy Dean, in his book Making Habits, Breaking Habits: Why We Do Things, Why We Don’t, and How to Make Any Change Stick, explains why that’s not usually the case.

Dean notes that there’s no solid evidence for the commonly held belief that it takes 21 days to form a habit and that this figure is likely a considerable underestimation.

He references a study from University College London, which recruited 96 people interested in forming a new habit. The study found that skipping a single day wasn’t detrimental, but early repetitions gave the biggest boost in an action eventually becoming habitual. Researchers discovered that the amount of time for the new activity to become “automatic” varied greatly—anywhere from 18 to 254 days. On average, it took 66 days before participants formed a habit.

In other words, go easy on yourself and don’t expect dramatic changes to occur quickly. Once you know it may take two months or longer to create that goodfor-you habit, your expectations become more realistic.

“When we set goals that are too ambitious, we can set ourselves up for failure and not want to try again. It’s better to start with small steps—one step at a time—and achieve some success. We can gradually make the goals more challenging, and before you know it, the small steps can turn into large leaps,” observes Marcia Morris, MD, a psychiatrist at the University of Florida Student Health Care Center in Gainesville. Morris is the author of the new book The Campus Cure: A Parent’s Guide to Mental Health and Wellness for College Students, available on Amazon and at Barnes and Noble.

Morris says that when working with patients, she helps them choose goals that are challenging but also attainable. For example, someone with social anxiety disorder might have extreme di culty talking with someone he or she does not know. For this individual, a party or business meeting can be excruciating. Morris coaches that person to start increasing social interaction in small, safe ways, such as making small talk with the cashier at the grocery store.

“New challenges can be added every week,” she says, “and in time, the person will be comfortable making a presentation in front of a group. You have to start with small steps when you want to achieve big changes.”

Although there may be multiple areas in your life where you’d like to make a change, don’t attempt a complete overhaul at once. The key to success is one step at a time. Establish one positive habit—however long it may take—before tackling another.

Ready for a change? We’ve rounded up some inspiration, so pick one and get started.