kill the complaints

Turns out it takes a major toll on your health, both mentally and physically. Here’s what complaining hurts, head to toe, and how to knock it o .

neuro-negativity

Complaining and negativity cause a release of cortisol, everyone’s favorite stress hormone, which a ects nearly every part of the body. It interferes with immune functions, learning and memory; lowers bone density; and increases weight gain and blood pressure. Excessive cortisol release can also increase a person’s risk for diabetes, obesity and heart disease. Perhaps the scariest side e ect of complaining is that it can actually rewire our brains.

Electric charges pass from synapse to synapse when you have a thought, with certain synapses growing closer together over time as we have similar thoughts repeatedly. Those who complain often may soon find that negative thoughts pop into their minds much easier than positive ones once the brain has physically changed itself to accommodate the frequent negativity. In other words, complaining begets more complaining.

Cut It Out

Complaining has its place: According to Eric Berne’s 1964 book Games People Play, most people do it for attention, sympathy or a way to bond over shared dislikes. Most importantly, it provides an emotional release. Those things aren’t bad, and we all need them; the problem arises when we never make our complaining work for us. If grumping about is so detrimental to health and productivity, how can we stop?

1. TRACK HOW OFTEN YOU COMPLAIN AND WHAT YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT. The amount may shock you into choosing your words more carefully, or you may notice one recurring complaint you can then tackle head on.

2. ABOUT MINDING YOUR WORDS, CHANGE THOSE “HAVE TO” CLAUSES TO “GET TO.” If you no longer “have to” go to the grocery store with the kids but instead you “get to,” you will sound (and maybe even feel) more appreciative.

3. DON’T SPEND TOO MUCH TIME WITH CHRONIC COMPLAINERS. You may find yourself stuck in their spiral and co-complain when you wouldn’t otherwise.

4. MOST OF US ASSOCIATE COMPLAINING WITH VENTING RATHER THAN PROBLEM SOLVING. Instead of complaining, head straight to the source of your issue and have a meaningful conversation, like chatting with your spouse about that annoying thing they do or talking to your manager about your impossible workload. Not only does this approach feel empowering, but it should eliminate the negative situation entirely. Boom: nothing to complain about!