KOKUA YOU, KOKUA ME

from Healthy Living February 2015

At First

We Floridians bristle when Yanks try to tell us how they do things “up north,” but I’m hoping you’ll indulge me as I tell you how people conduct themselves out West.

Waaaaaay out West.

In Hawaii, most locals still practice the Aloha Spirit even though interlopers with fat checkbooks and unbridled love for concrete and asphalt tirelessly try to transform paradise into Pasadena.

The good people of Hawaii don’t blast car stereos. They stop at pedestrian crosswalks. They don’t honk horns or ﬂip the bird when you cut them off.

They may, however, shoot you a shaka — an island wave with pinky and thumb extended, and middle ﬁngers tucked into palms, that means “hang loose.”

Translation: “take it easy.”

In Hawaii, locals don’t fret, even though many work two jobs to afford humble dwellings, $4 gas and $8 milk.

A large number of homes are crammed with families — mom, dad, kids, aunties and uncles, grandpas and grandmas, and sometimes friends.

Housing costs necessitate cramped quarters. But many homes are stuffed by choice.

Ohana — family — is revered in Hawaii. Feeble parents aren’t automatically shuttled off to nursing homes and assisted living facilities; they are embraced by the children they raised.

The Hawaiian culture is permeated by the kokua (kuhkoo - uh) spirit.

Simply stated, “kokua” means “helper.”

But one word falls far short of capturing the meaning of kokua, a term associated with selfsacrificing love. Healthy people who voluntarily accompanied lepers banished to the island of Molokai in the 1800s and early 1900s were known as “kokuas.”

“Kokua” is a noun and a verb.

“Please kokua” means “be helpful” or “be courteous.”

“Kokua you, kokua me” is the Hawaiian version of “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

Hawaii residents know what’s truly important.

That’s why they move so slowly.

Hawaiians operate on

“Hawaiian Time,” a relaxed, laissez-faire attitude toward punctuality. That’s “laissez-faire,” not “lazy affair.”

In the book “K—Kanaka, Stand Tall: A Search for Hawaiian Values,” author George Hu’eu Kanahele writes, “The tendency for many modern Hawaiians never to start anything on time, or to arrive late for a meeting, and so on, is . . . a vestige of an ancient way of looking at the value of time.”

Hawaiians have their priorities straight.

But it sounds like a terribly inefﬁcient way to live, right? Don’t knock it. Data from the Center for Disease Control and Prevention says Hawaii has the highest healthy life expectancy in the nation. And Hawaii has occupied the top spot in GallupHealthway’s well-being poll for four consecutive years. By the way, Florida is 48th on the list.

Even governmental agencies operate on Hawaiian time. During a recent vacation, I naively showed up at the post ofﬁce at 10a.m., when the facility was supposed to open. I learned that 10a.m. in Princeville, Hawaii, is actually 10:12 mainland time.

Another day, I missed out on a fruit smoothie because the owner of the juice stand closed early. Big waves at Tunnels. Surﬁng almost always trumps making money.

I’m not suggesting you relocate. Hawaii’s housing costs are among the highest in the U.S., Oahu is overcrowded, and sprawl development threatens outer islands.

However, I am suggesting we adopt the aloha spirit and live by “kokua you, kokua me.”

Perhaps we Floridians could learn a thing or two from the islanders.