SPIRIT GRATITU

How To Be Happier

WRITER: RUTH STERN

Have you ever asked yourself the following questions: Why can’t I be thinner? Why can’t I make more money? Why don’t the kids behave better? How does she/he attract more friends than me? And there are hundreds more. These questions imply “I am not enough” in some one form or another. And that feeling of not being enough is a huge contributor to not experiencing happiness and joy in your life.

One of the most important lessons I have learned in my research and personal exploration in the pursuit of happiness is the practice of gratitude can overcome these feelings of “not enough.” Gratitude allows you to savor and enjoy what is in your present experience. The unhappy person is always waiting for something better to come along, as they can never be satisfied with now. The belief is when I get that I will finally be happy. Author and lecturer Dr. Wayne Dyer calls it the “disease of more.”

Recently, I was counseling a client who suffers from Lyme disease. She experiences symptoms of fatigue, pain and various other sensitivities. She contacted me because she was chronically depressed over her diminished quality of life. Although I know nothing about Lyme disease, I do know the power of the mind/body connection.

There is much research indicating negative emotions can increase or exacerbate the distress felt when people are ill. Her anxiety and depression increased because she was so focused on what she couldn’t do. One of her goals was to be able to leave her home and enjoy the day. At the onset of treatment, she would feel extremely fatigued after 15 minutes. I asked “Mary” to write a gratitude list every night that included the smallest of things that gave her joy and appreciation. Her list included being grateful she could walk, great eyesight, two loving children and a supportive spouse. A week later she called me and told me this exercise had a profound effect on her and the best news is she was able to spend two hours shopping with no problems. She had not been able to do this for months.

I believe what happened here is that “Mary” took the focus off her physical condition and increased her internal positive vibrations with gratitude. Her focus became appreciation for what is, rather than what she doesn’t have. Imagine if everyone did this on a daily basis, and how it would shift their life from disappointment and sadness to joy. It is the simple act of appreciating all you are and already possess. A wonderful benefit of staying in a place of appreciation is you begin to see and attract even more of that, which is the law of attraction.

Take a few minutes a day and write down your gratitudes. Savor it and feel it as you write — and you might see some miraculous changes as well.

3 Ways To Increase Selfacceptance

1. Be kind to yourself like you are to others. Realize mistakes are opportunities to learn and focus on things you do well.

2. Ask a friend, family member or colleague what your strengths are and what they value about you.

3. Spend quiet time by yourself so you can be at peace with who