SEVEN WARNING SIGNS YOU ARE IN A UNHEALTHY CODEPENDENT RELATIONSHIP

Acodependent relationship often is viewed as one of primary importance. While this may not sound like a bad thing and usually comes from intense love and devotion, codependency means a person will sacrifice their own happiness or well-being to sustain the relationship at all costs. This problem occurs most often with people suffering from low self-esteem. Unfortunately, the codependency exacerbates feelings of worthlessness rather than eradicating them.

In most cases, the other partner in the relationship is selfish and erratic, leaving the insecure partner feeling responsible for the relationship’s success. It is important to note that people who are codependent do not always realize there is a problem, and may in fact feel proud of how they “hold the relationship together” with their strength and sensitivity. In addition, even codependent partners who know something is wrong often feel the current relationship is their only chance at happiness, and stay out of fear.

The key to breaking out of a codependent situation lies in viewing your behavior and thoughts more objectively, and learning how to prioritize your own needs. However, it can be difficult to face the reality of being codependent, so you may wonder how to determine if it is a problem for you. Listed here are the main warning signs you are in an unhealthy codependent relationship.

Being in the relationship requires significant sacrifice. How do you know the price is too high for the reward? An effective way to gain objectivity is to list everything you remember giving up to keep the relationship. Pay close attention to what you learn from your list. Have you changed your life to suit your partner? Are your needs often ignored? Does your life revolve around your partner’s priorities and desires? If the answer to any of these questions is yes, it is highly likely you are in an exhausting codependent relationship.

You have a difficult time expressing negative emotions even when you know you are right. If you are codependent, you may struggle to confess to being wounded because you believe these negative emotions are your fault. You may have become accustomed to being blamed for any feelings your partner doesn’t like or being told your anger or sadness is irrational, inappropriate, or even ridiculous.

When you’re not with your partner, you feel lost or frightened. Although it is normal and indeed healthy to miss your partner’s company when you’re not together, something is amiss if you’re feeling anxious and out of place without your partner. This is an indication of codependency and indicates you are relying on your significant other to a dangerous degree means you rely on your partner’s feedback to gauge your own emotions. To avoid being codependent, you need to acknowledge and believe you can survive after a break up. Admit that your partner is the center of the whole world.

You take the blame for your partner’s negative behavior. When your partner does something that hurts, disappoints, or makes you feel betrayed it’s vital that you recognize this is your partner’s fault and not your own. If you are codependent, you always find a way to view a situation in a way that makes you responsible for your partner’s bad behavior. This can be devastating to your self-respect.

1 2 3 4

5 6 7

You believe you are less significant than the relationship you are in. We know solid, loving relationships require both parties are willing to make sacrifices for each other at appropriate times. If you are the only one who sacrifices or if you feel you could endure unlimited emotional (or physical) pain to keep the relationship alive, you may be a codependent partner in danger of losing your worth and sense of identity.

You value your partner’s success more than your own. While you should support your partner’s ambition, you are also entitled to receive similar support in return. In a codependent relationship, you might believe your partner’s goals are more lofty and worthwhile than any you have, and be willing to miss opportunities for your own success to ensure your partner’s.

Your partner does not put forth the same effort to nurture and maintain the relationship. It is easy to become exhausted and overburdened if you are the only person fighting for the survival of the relationship. In a healthy relationship, both partners make sustained efforts to be close and keep each other happy. If you are the only one constantly seeking to improve and sustain the relationship, you may be codependent.

If these signs are particularly familiar to you, this strongly suggests you are currently in a codependent relationship. The good news is it doesn’t mean the relationship is unsustainable. Rather, it means if you both want to continue dating, you need to get relationship counseling to discover why you have this dynamic, and learn how to change your less healthy patterns of behavior. Unfortunately, not all partners of codependent people will admit things are amiss in the relationship. If your partner is not willing to meet you in the middle and create an equal relationship, you may be better off if you break up.