NO.1 TIP FOR PARENTING: CONSISTENCY & FOLLOW-THROUGH

When I look around at parents, the thing I see very clearly is that people struggle to know what to do about their child’s behavior, attitude, defiance, etc. As a dad myself, I do not claim to have it all figured out but sometimes it’s easier to look at other people and see what would help. I believe very strongly this would help most parents.

Say What You Mean And Mean

WHAT YOU SAY. Before making any promises to Disney World for getting all A’s, be sure you can follow through with it. Most kids see black and white, and if you break a promise, that can only mean one thing — “You lied to me.” This leads to questions of trust.

On the other side of this, if you say you are going to discipline, do it. If you have no intention of disciplining for some sort of misbehavior, don’t say it. Again, children get this really fast and may not believe you will do anything about their conduct. If you know you have fallen short of this in the past, welcome to the club. Many parents struggle in these areas. However, realize that it is something that needs to change now.

Why is this a big deal? I gave you the first reason: trust. Your kids need to know what you say is what is actually going to happen. Therefore, I think we all agree we need our kids to trust us, believe in us, and know Mom and Dad are going to handle the situation. They will have that assurance if they trust you.

In our home there have been plenty of seasons of inconsistency. In fact, most of the fluctuation was mine and not my wife’s doing. I also put her in an unfair position where she consistently became the “bad guy,” which is horrible for the parent who is actually doing the “right thing.” So, when there are two parents in the picture, both need to be involved and 100 percent supportive of one another, especially in front of the kids. When I became lax in my disciplinary follow-through, I noticed the kids would become lax in their motivation to follow their mother’s direction. But when I was consistent, they were consistently responsible. All of this results in everyone being happier, too (including Momma, because you know what they say, right?).

Another reason to stay consistent is the fact that the world isn’t doing any favors for our kids. When your kids are grown and they make a mistake, there won’t be a police officer or judge that will say, “Okay Johnnie, I’m going to give you 17 more chances and then maybe I will take you to jail.” Nope. That isn’t how it works and we know it. But we continue to raise our kids this way. What’s difficult to swallow about this is we’re setting our children up for failure.

The Bible says in Proverbs many times that our children will bring us grief if we do not discipline them in love. That is the key when you do discipline; it is an act of love. I know you love your kids just as I love mine, and it is my belief that the biblical model of parenting is the only right one. It is the one that works for a reason. Our Father in Heaven is the greatest parent and teaches us these principles.