FOREVER FRIENDS

WRITER: DEBBI KIDDY

Celebrity BFFs, like Oprah Winfrey and Gayle King and Ben Affleck and Matt Damon, are known for their longevity, as well as their star power. Most would agree that long-term friendships are healthy, yet most adults also admit they have very few friendships that have stood the test of time.

Studies confirm what many already know—spending time with long-term friends is not only fun, but also improves your health. Irene Levine, Ph.D., a psychologist and creator of “The Friendship Blog,” says one reason lifelong friendships are so appealing is your friend not only knows who you are today, but knows who you were. Communication flows easier when there is a positive history and shared memories.

Martha Clarke, 81, of Eustis, has known her friend, JoAnn Robertson, since they were five-year-olds. They went to the same school from kindergarten to high school and through Elon College High School in North Carolina.

“When we were girls, one of the things we loved to do was to climb the humongous—at least to us—tree that grew in JoAnn’s yard. We’d climb as high as we could and then swing from one limb to another. We didn’t worry about falling,” says Martha. “As we got older, we would get together and sew, or just take a walk and talk.”

In an article by Catherine Pearson, “5 Secrets of People with Lifelong Friends,” she says other important aspects of lasting friendships are keeping expectations realistic, being adaptable, appreciating for the uniqueness of the relationship, and offering forgiveness when needed.

Maintaining that priceless relationship gets more difficult as circumstances such as moving away, divorce, or even disagreements come into play.

Asked whether or not Martha and JoAnn ever had major disagreements, Martha says, “Sure, we had disagreements over the years. But if you love someone, you can forgive them, forget, and go on.”

Martha’s view is in line with Lisa Firestone, psychology expert on relationships and author, who wrote an online article, “Forgiveness: The Secret to a Healthy Relationship.” Lisa believes to truly enjoy a lasting friendship, friends should “grow their ability to forgive.”