SISTER HOOD

Through friendship and companionship, women support each other in many ways.

The bonds of sisterhood are not limited to college sororities; they are a universal part of being a woman. Female friendships are complex and somewhat enigmatic; however, they are also special because no one can understand what a woman goes through like another woman.

We share life experiences men could never fully comprehend, although some try their best to sympathize. Our close female friendships shape who we are and who we eventually want to become. They empower us when we feel weak, help us feel less alone, and give us an outlet to share our problems, thoughts, feelings, and triumphs.

The ties of sisterhood even have health benefits. According to a landmark UCLA study, brain chemicals released while stressed are a stimulus that motivates us to maintain our friendships with other women. And numerous studies have found that having multiple friends, especially as we age, reduces our risk of disease and keeps us from developing physical impairments. So our friendships aren’t just healthy, they are also healing.

Nonetheless, there can be low moments. Jealousy, cattiness, and competition can weave their way into any solid female friendship. But, if the foundation is sound, such petty instances of insecurity and envy should never reach validation. Instead, they should fall by the wayside because ultimately we only want to see the best for our “sisters.”

When we want to know if a shirt is too tight or if we have indeed gained weight, only our girlfriends can answer honestly without retribution. When we need to unload our deepest, darkest secrets, our friends are the closest thing to a locked diary. And when we have to make difficult life decisions others would criticize, our closest girlfriends are the ones who won’t judge, but will instead offer a lifetime of caring words and loyalty.

REMEMBER ME?

Fran Sullivan and Angela Lackey first met nearly 40 years ago while working their first jobs as phone solicitors.

“We sold photo portrait packages for Olan Mills,” says Angela. “After school from 5 to 9p.m., we would sit in a small room in their building, which was right on Main Street in Leesburg, and cold call people out of the phone book to see if they would buy a package from us.”

Though Angela and Fran both attended Leesburg High School, the two girls did not run in the same circles. It was only through work that they began to get to know each other. Nevertheless, their jobs were only temporary, and when the work dried up and they graduated, they lost touch.

Fran stayed in Leesburg. Angela moved away to attend college and lived in Orlando for a while before returning to Leesburg. More than a decade passed before they finally saw each other again.

“We reconnected when our children started going to school together at First Baptist Daycare,” says Fran. “I would see Angela at birthday parties and it took us some time to realize we had known each other way back in high school. Then the girls started playing soccer together. Plus, our daughters’ birthdays are only a few days apart, so we started combining birthday parties. Eventually, we started forming a friendship again, but this time it was different because we had the kids to keep us connected.”

They quickly discovered they had many activities they enjoyed doing outside of being mothers, like dining out, shopping, and going to the beach.

“During the summer we visit the beach a lot, and every Labor Day it’s a tradition to go to the beach to celebrate the end of summer,” says Fran.

It does not hurt that their husbands get along — or that their daughters, Meagan and Lauren, are best friends. And now that the children are adults with their own families, Angela and Fran say they have been able to grow even closer and learn more about one another.

“Now we go to church together every Sunday, but before we go, we always have breakfast,” says Angela. “Actually, once or twice a week we go out to eat and catch up. We usually talk about everything — husbands, work, children, grandchildren, parents.”

But, just as they enjoy good times together, they also have been through their fair share of tribulations. Most significantly, they were able to uplift each other during their individual battles with cancer.

(Accessed April 15, 2014) ry d ent

Meagan and Lauren celebrate their sixth birthdays. Because their girls’ birthdays were so close together, Angela and Fran would throw shared birthday parties.

“I had a very rare cancer called Merkel cell carcinoma 12 years ago and Angela is a breast cancer survivor,” says Fran. “Because I went through my cancer first, I felt like I was really able to be there for Angela and help her. I understood what she was going through.”

That kind of support, Angela says, was, and has always been, invaluable.

I felt like I was re g through.” f ble.

“In life, you have to have an outlet,” she says. “You have to be able to talk to someone openly and honestly, or else you’ll go crazy. Yes, you have the support of your husband and your children, but there is something about having a good friend where you can just let your hair down and speak the truth without fears of judgment or criticism.” openly and here f la has as Fran deals with her mother’s health issues.

Lately, Angela has been able to return the favor by lending an empathetic ear as Fran deals with her mother’s health issues.

“Angela lost her father three years ago, so she knows how difficult it can be to face the possibilities and then realities of losing a parent,” says Fran. “Through times like these, it is nice to have someone who knows exactly what you’re dealing with and can be there for you.”