WS-II - Chapter 19

Part Four

Family and Society

World Scripture II V8 013107.ind923 923

2/1/2007 3:16:28 PM

World Scripture II V8 013107.ind924 924

2/1/2007 3:16:28 PM

Chapter 19

Family The Basic Form of Life THE FAMILY IS THE BASIC FORM OF LIFE. Its relations constitute the environment where people are reared, molding their character, values and identities. People sometimes try to set up alternatives to the traditional family, but these fail to persist beyond one or two generations. There is a “form” to the family; not in the sense of a precise set of roles, but rather a general principle that even single-parent families, childless families and families blended with stepparents and other relations take after as best they can. What is the “form” of the family? Outwardly, it consists of the pattern of relationships linking parents and children, husband and wife, and siblings; inwardly, it is the true, godly love that governs these relationships.

There is another sense in which the family is the basic form of life: it is the “textbook” for relationships in the larger society. Good family relations are productive of good citizens, who apply the lessons of relating with elder, same-age and younger family members to their relations with superiors, peers and subordinates.

Father Moon teaches extensively about both aspects of the family’s form. He characterizes its structural pattern as the “four-position foundation,” a notable teaching because it brings God into the family as a veritable member. He also describes the family spatially as extending in six directions. In either case, the form is spherical and characterized by equality of all positions. This is possible when the dynamic in all the family relations is true love. Each family member lives for the sake of the others, creating a virtuous circle of giving that generates energy and equalizes all. Such families are the building-blocks of virtuous societies.

1. The Family Ideal He who loves his wife as himself; who honors her more than himself; who rears his children in the right path, and who marries them off at the proper time of their life, concerning him it is written: “And you will know that your home is at peace.”

Talmud, Yebamot 62 (Judaism)

Supporting one’s father and mother, cherishing wife and children and a peaceful occupation; this is the greatest blessing.

Sutta Nipata 262 (Buddhism)

There are five relations of utmost importance under Heaven… between prince and minister; between father and son; between husband and

wife; between elder and younger brothers; and between friends.1 Doctrine of the Mean 20.8 (Confucianism)

What are “the things which men consider right”? Kindness on the part of the father, and filial duty on that of the son; gentleness on the part of the elder brother, and obedience on that of the younger; righteousness on the part of the husband, and submission on that of the wife; kindness on the part of elders, and deference on that of juniors; with benevolence on the part of the ruler, and loyalty on that of the minister; —these ten are the things which men consider to be right.

Book of Ritual 7.2.19 (Confucianism)

925

World Scripture II V8 013107.ind925 925

2/1/2007 3:16:28 PM

926

World Scripture and the Teachings of Sun Myung Moon

May in this family discipline overcome indiscipline, peace discord, charity miserliness, devotion arrogance, the truth-spoken word the false spoken word which destroys the holy order.

Avesta, Yasna 60.5 (Zoroastrianism)

Natural mildness should be there in the family. Observance of the vows leads to mildness…

Right belief should there be amongst family members. Crookedness and deception cause unhappiness in the family. Straightforward­ness and honesty in one’s body, speech, and mental activities lead the family to an auspicious path.

Purity, reverence, ceaseless pursuit of knowledge, charity, removal of obstacles that threaten equanimity, service to others—these make the family happy.

Tattvarthasutra 6.18-24 (Jainism)

When father, mother, sons, elder and younger brothers all act in a manner suited to their various positions within the family, when husbands play their proper role and wives are truly wifely, the way of that family runs straight. It is by the proper regulation of each family that the whole world is stabilized.

I Ching 37 (Confucianism)

The union of hearts and minds and freedom from hate I’ll bring you.

Love one another as the cow loves the calf that she has borne.

Let son be loyal to father, and of one mind with his mother; let wife speak to husband words that are honey-sweet and gentle.

Let not a brother hate a brother, nor a sister hate a sister; unanimous, united in aims, speak you words with friendliness.

I will make the prayer for that concord among men at home by which the gods do not separate, nor ever hate one another.

Be not parted—growing old, taking thought, thriving together, moving under a common yoke, come speaking sweetly to one another; I’ll make you have one aim and be of one mind.

Common be your water-store, common your share of food; I bind you together to a common yoke.

United, gather round the sacrificial fire like spokes around the nave of a wheel.

With your common desire I’ll make you all have one aim, be of one mind, following one leader, like the gods who preserve their immortality.

Morn and eve may there be the loving heart in you.2 Atharva Veda 3.30 (Hinduism)

Teachings of Sun Myung Moon Human beings have a basic need to feel and connect with each other. For this, we need wives and husbands; we need young people and old people. This is why, regardless of the world’s opinion, we have worked to establish the family as a universal form. (21:120, November 17, 1968) A family should have both a father and a mother, and both sons and daughters. Only then can it be the complete foundation for happiness… when all the varieties of heart are present in the family.

(32:197, July 15, 1970) Neither men nor women were created for their own sakes, but for the sake of their partners of the opposite sex. Let us say that there is a beautiful woman who hates men. Yet when you look at her

World Scripture II V8 013107.ind926 926

2/1/2007 3:16:28 PM

Family

927

figure, it is clear that God gave her beauty for the sake of a man. God designed each sex to live for the sake of its opposite.

Likewise, when parents live for the sake of the children and the children for the sake of the parents, taking good care of each other, they revolve around each other. The more they live for each other, they faster they revolve. This is the ideal form—not a square, but round and threedimensional. Each adds to the other’s energy; hence the more we live for each other the faster our circular motion becomes. The family forms a sphere and can continue that way for eternity. (69:8384, October 20, 1973) The family is the smallest unit where we can practice and perfect the Four Great Loves—the Four Great Hearts: true parental love, true brotherly and sisterly love, true conjugal love, and true filial love. A true family is the foundation of its members’ true love and true happiness. It is where true life and true lineage sprouts. A true family is the training ground and school to achieve true love and true character. (294:65-66, June 11, 1998) God’s love abides where parents, husband and wife, and children are united in love. Where these three kinds of love come together, God dwells absolutely and for eternity. This family is God’s dwelling-place. Wherever there is unchanging parental love, unchanging conjugal love, and unchanging children’s love, God is always present. (131:112, April 22, 1984) What is an ideal family? Some might say, “It is a family whose members all trust each other.” Some might say, “It is a family whose members know each other well.” These descriptions fall short. An ideal family is a family whose members are connected with an inseparable bond of heart. It is a family whose members feel each other’s pain as their own, or even more deeply than their own pain. Hence they willingly sacrifice themselves to carry the others’ burden. Such a family can be called an ideal family. (228:46, March 3, 1992) Human beings are born from love and should walk the path of love. Even at the point of death, they should die for love. From this perspective, love is more valuable than life itself; it even precedes life.

That is why people willingly give their lives for love.

Love is eternal. Eternal, unchanging love is celebrated in poetry, novels and great literature.

These prompt us to desire eternal and unchanging love, not momentary love.

A newborn baby automatically searches for its mother’s breast, following the vibrations of her love. The infant does not care whether she is beautiful or ugly; all that matters is that she is its mother. An infant nursing at its mother’s breast is a sacred scene, manifested in limitless variety.

Thus, we are born from love, and we grow by receiving love. Each of us is the fruit of our parents’ love and the manifestation of their love. Our parents love us because we are the fruit of their love. Parental love can expand infinitely, producing innumerable fruits. It is the starting point on the road to individual love, family love, love for the tribe, love of country, love for the world, love for the universe and love for God. After we are born, our parents take responsibility to raise us to become good people for our sojourn on earth. Our parents provide for us and teach us, acting not only on behalf of the family, but also on behalf of the nation and the world. They provide us with physical sustenance and education until we reach the age of individual maturity. That is when we should link to the horizontal foundation of love, which is marriage.

World Scripture II V8 013107.ind927 927

2/1/2007 3:16:28 PM

928

World Scripture and the Teachings of Sun Myung Moon

Parents take care of us until we marry. In marriage we inherit the love our mother and father have shared in their life together. When we give birth to our own children and start rearing them, we finally begin to understand how much our parents loved us, and thus we inherit parental love.

Through this process, we develop into people who can fully give and receive love. This is how each of us matures as a perfected man or woman.

From infancy to the time of maturity, we grow in the love of our parents—a vertical love.

Then the time comes to experience conjugal love—a mutual, horizontal love. In this way we enter the integrated realm of love. Heaven and earth together form a spherical world, covering all the dimensions of top and bottom, left and right, and front and back. When the vertical and horizontal love relationships are linked, they interact, revolve, become integrated, and finally merge into a single center of harmony.

The vertical axis of love links Heaven and earth. Once it is firmly secured, there arises the need for horizontal love. This takes place during adolescence. (298:298, March 19, 1999) When a husband and wife truly love each other and build a family, it symbolizes the planting of God. In the original world, the parents represent God, with husband and wife each embodying a different side of God. Each of their sons and daughters represents another small God. Since God is the original entity of true love, by embodying true love each member of the family becomes one with God. Parents are the living embodiments of God and thus represent Him [to their children]. Husband and wife each represent God [to each other], and the children represent Him as well. Thus three generations, centering on true love, are at the level of God. This is why all the family members—parents, husbands and wives, and children—need true love. A family formed in this way, centering on true love, is the foundation for the Kingdom of Heaven. Unless we first make such a foundation, the Kingdom of Heaven can never be established.

This is the formula… God, the Parent of the entire universe, abides in the center of these manifold relationships of love. (298:307, March 19, 1999)

❖ 2. The Family as the School of Love and Virtue Lord, give us joy in our wives and children, and make us models for the God-fearing.

If a man does not know how to manage his own household, how can he care for God’s church?

What is meant by saying that “in order to establish moral order in his state, one must first guide his family properly” is this: One cannot convince others of what he cannot convince the members of his own family. Therefore the wise governor does not need to go beyond his family in order to find the principles needed for governing his state. Here he finds his own son’s respectful obedience to his father, with which a governor should be served; affection for one’s relatives, with which higher officials should be treated; and paternal kindness, with which all people should be regarded.

1 Timothy 3.5

Great Learning 9.1 (Confucianism)

Qur’an 25.74

The moral life of man may be likened to traveling to a distant place: one must start from the s stage. It may also be likened to ascending a height [of public responsibility]: one must begin from the lowest step [one’s family].

Doctrine of the Mean 15.2 (Confucianism)

World Scripture II V8 013107.ind928 928

2/1/2007 3:16:29 PM

Family

When the family declines, ancient traditions are destroyed. With them are lost the spiritual foundations for life, and the family loses its sense of unity. Where there is no sense of unity, the women of the family become corrupt; and

929

with the corruption of its women, society is plunged into chaos. Social chaos is hell for the family and for those who have destroyed the family as well.

Bhagavad-Gita 1.40-41 (Hinduism)

Teachings of Sun Myung Moon The family is the most important school in human life, for it is the school of love. (271:80, August 22, 1995) The family is the training ground of the heart. You are trained in brotherly and sisterly love, so treat your classmates in school with that same heart and your fellow citizens in the nation with that same heart. Hence, the education your parents give you to be loving brothers and sisters is for the sake of the school, the community and the nation.

Parents should bequeath their heart and sensibility to their children and descendants. As parents you are role models, but this involves more than teaching by example. By your love you are laying the emotional foundation for your children, so that they are able to live for the family, the community and the nation. (180:131, August 22, 1988) The ideal family is a school; it is also a textbook. The husband and wife are its joint authors. When their children can live by the lessons from that textbook, they can make it anywhere in the world.

This is a formula. (131:112, April 22, 1984) The family is the textbook for attaining the Kingdom of Heaven. God prepared it for human beings as an instruction manual for connecting with Him. If you take its lessons and apply them to the nation, you become patriots; apply them to the world and you become saints; apply them to heaven and earth and you become the divine sons and daughters of God. (137:78, December 18, 1985) Morals are the universal virtues acquired by training in the family. The Chinese character for virtue (德) contains the character 十, ten, with the shape of a cross whose vertical and horizontal lines symbolize heaven and earth—hence the entire universe, as well as man and woman—two beings.

Next it has the character 四, four, which represents the four-position foundation; then 一, one, and 心, mind or heart. It means that virtues (德) are established when the four (四) parties of the fourposition foundation of heaven and earth (十) become one (一) in heart (心). Since the character 十 means ten and also two, it symbolizes twelve entities: grandfather, grandmother, husband, wife, son and daughter, six people each composed of mind and body. When these twelve become one, they indicate virtue. (375:59, April 13, 2002) All around the world today, the family is changing, and the traditional family structure is being challenged in many ways. With increasing industrialization and modernization, humanity’s value systems are crumbling, and our standards of ethics and morality are in flux. In addition, selfish individualism, hedonism, and the worship of money are robbing us of our humanity, and increasingly free sex and immorality are furthering the destruction of the family.

How tragic it is that we are faced with such trends! If nothing is done, in the future humanity will not have any hope. No matter how social conditions may change, the importance of the relationship

World Scripture II V8 013107.ind929 929

2/1/2007 3:16:29 PM

930

World Scripture and the Teachings of Sun Myung Moon

between parents and children is unshakable. The value of the family does not change. I repeat— love is the source of people’s happiness and joy, and the family is the foundation for happiness and peace. (271:80-81, August 22, 1995) These days, when we prevent families from breaking down and teenagers from falling, we liberate God’s sorrowful heart. It brings God the happiness that He could not experience in the Garden of Eden, where He could not intervene [to stop the Fall]. (305:273, August 21, 1998)

❖ 3. A Complete Family Has a Spherical Form Thus I have heard, the Buddha was once staying near Rajagaha in the Bamboo Wood at the Squirrels’ Feeding Ground. Now at this time young Sigala, a householder’s son, rising betimes, went forth from Rajagaha, and with wet hair and wet garments and clasped hands uplifted, paid worship to the several quarters of the earth and sky: to the east, south, west, and north, to the nadir and the zenith.

And the Exalted One early that morning dressed himself, took bowl and robe and entered Rajagaha seeking alms. Now he saw young Sigala worshipping and spoke to him thus, “Why, young householder, do you worship the several quarters of earth and sky?”

“Sir, my father, when he was dying, said to me: ‘Dear son, you should worship the quarters of the earth and sky.’ So I, sir, honoring my father’s word, rise and worship in this way.”

“But in the religion of an educated man, the six quarters should not be worshipped thus.”

“How then, sir, in the religion of an educated man, should the six quarters be worshipped? It would be an excellent thing if the Exalted One would so teach me the correct way…”

“How, O young householder, does the educated man serve the six quarters? The following should be looked upon as the six quarters: parents as the east, teachers as the south, wife and children as the west, friends and companions as the north, servants as the nadir, and religious leaders as the zenith.

“In five ways should a child minister to his parents as the eastern quarter: ‘Once supported

World Scripture II V8 013107.ind930 930

by them, I will now be their support; I will perform duties incumbent on them; I will keep up the lineage and tradition of my family; I will make myself worthy of my heritage.’

“In five ways parents thus ministered to, as the eastern quarter, by their child, show their love for him: They restrain him from vice, they exhort him to virtue, they train him to a profession, they contract a suitable marriage for him, and in due time they hand over to him his inheritance. Thus is the eastern quarter protected by him and made safe and secure.

“In five ways should pupils minister to their teachers as the southern quarter: by respectfully greeting them, by waiting upon them, by eagerness to learn, by personal service, and by attentiveness to their teaching.

“In five ways do teachers, thus ministered to as the southern quarter by their pupils, love their pupil: They train him in what they have been trained; they make him hold fast to moral precepts; they thoroughly instruct him in the lore of every subject; they speak well of him among his friends and companions; they counsel him for his safety and benefit. Thus is the southern quarter protected by him and made safe and secure.

“In five ways should a wife as western quarter be ministered to by her husband: by respect, by courtesy, by faithfulness, by handing over authority to her, by providing her with adornment.

“In five ways does the wife, ministered to by her husband as the western quarter, love him:

2/1/2007 3:16:29 PM

Family

Her duties are well performed, she is hospitable to their relatives, she is faithful, she watches over the wages and goods which he brings home, she discharges all her business with skill and industry. Thus is the western quarter protected by him and made safe and secure.

“In five ways should one minister to his friends and companions as the northern quarter: by generosity, courtesy, and benevolence, by treating them as he treats himself, and by being as good as his word.

“In five ways do his friends and familiars, thus ministered to as the northern quarter, love him: They protect him when he is off his guard, and on occasions guard his property; they become a refuge in danger; they do not forsake him in his troubles; and they show consideration for his family. Thus is the northern quarter protected by him and made safe and secure.

“In five ways does a noble master minister to his servants and employees as the nadir: by assigning them work according to their strength, by supplying them with food and wages, by tending them in sickness, by sharing with them unusual delicacies, by granting them leave at times.

931

“In five ways, thus ministered to by their master, do servants and employees love him: They rise before him, they lie down to rest after him, they are content with their wages, they do their work well, and they carry about his praise and good fame. Thus is the nadir by him protected and made safe and secure.

“In five ways should the layman minister to saints, priests, and religious leaders as the zenith: by affection in act and speech and mind, by keeping open house to them, and by supplying their temporal needs.

“Ministered to as the zenith, monks, priests, and religious leaders show their love for the layman in six ways: They restrain him from evil, they exhort him to good, they love him with kindly thoughts, they teach him what he has not heard, they correct and purify what he has heard, they reveal to him the way of heaven.

Thus by him is the zenith protected and made safe and secure.”

Digha Nikaya 3.185-91, Sigalovada Sutta (Buddhism)

Teachings of Sun Myung Moon To exist in the spatial dimension, human beings need to stand in relation to what is above and below, right and left, front and back… Centering on the individual, in the family there are parents and children, husband and wife, and brothers and sisters. Similarly, in the nation, centering on the leader, families should embrace all the civilizations of East and West and all the civilizations of North and South. Then they can embrace all people of the world as brothers and sisters. Ultimately we will form a global family at every level.

Thus, the core concept of the universe is the concept of the family. Heaven represents parents. Earth represents children. East symbolizes man, West symbolizes woman. That is why, when a woman gets married, she usually follows wherever her husband goes. Nevertheless, they have equal value—when the west reflects the sunlight, it has the same value as the east. The relationship of brothers is the same. When the older brother works on some task, the younger brothers naturally help him.

Therefore, human beings should exist within relationships of parents and children, husband and wife, and elder and younger siblings. And these three relationships meet at one central point.

There can be only one center. Above and below, right and left, and front and back should not have different centers. If the central point is different, then the balance of the relationships between above and below, right and left, and front and back will be broken. Eventually, above, below, right, left, front, back and the central point all together comprise seven positions. In a harmonious and

World Scripture II V8 013107.ind931 931

2/1/2007 3:16:29 PM

932

World Scripture and the Teachings of Sun Myung Moon

unified family these seven form a perfect sphere; they constitute a God-centered family with all elements united in perfect true love. (True Family and World Peace, June 16, 1997) An ideal family is one whose family members are united as one centered on their parents and in attendance to God. Conjugal love is a horizontal relationship; therefore a husband and wife should align their love on the vertical axis of God’s love. God is the owner of parental love, children’s love, husband’s love and wife’s love. God’s love is the ideal love. Since God is the subject of love, if we become one with God, we can always embody God’s love. Then we can create an ideal family that will never break apart for eternity. It is logical.

Parental love is focused on children and children’s love is connected to parents. A husband’s love is connected to his wife, and a wife’s love is connected to her husband. These different types of love cannot become one by themselves. The subjective force that can unify them is God’s love.

Once the Subject dwells in them, they all automatically become one. Conversely, without God, human love is self-centered and cannot bring unity.

Although the family members have diverse relationships with each other, when they are united in love, they are equally close to one another. Hence there is equality among them. Why? They participate in a unified entity with a spherical form. The cause and result become one; and the vertical and the horizontal become one; God and the family members become one. In the world that runs on the power of love, there is nothing but love. Whatever they do, there is nothing but love. Such is the ideal world. When families on earth reach that state, they create the Kingdom of Heaven on earth. This is the ideal of God. Based on this principle, I teach you to respect your parents as God. Husbands should respect their wives as God, and wives should regard their husbands as God. Parents should value their children as God. Likewise, you should experience God as your Parent, your Wife, your Husband, and your Child. This is the path to the Kingdom of God. (89:154-55, November 7, 1976) Why does a wife weep when her husband dies? Why are people sorrowful if they have no sons or daughters? The fundamental principle of the universe is that we have to possess all the directions of the compass.

Ideal relationships generate the very power that enables the universe to exist. Therefore, everything engages in give and take. The North Pole and the South Pole engage in give and take; the stars have give and take with each other. In sum, everything exists in relationship to a counterpart.

The ideal for any existing being is to engage in complete give and take, and thereby gain the support of the universe. We say that it has the support of ‘heavenly fortune.’ This is the universe’s supporting power that surrounds the existing being and maintains its existence forever. All existence cooperates with it.

Therefore, it will not do if a family has no children. These days in the West, many people think that children are unnecessary. But just let them wait until they go to the spirit world; then they will see whether what I say is true. Wherever a person stands, there is always an above (parents) and a below (children). Everyone needs to pass through the number 3, that is, through these three stages, (70:76-77, February 8, 1974) The family is the smallest unit that connects the past, the present and the future. A family is like a microcosm of the world. Within it the past, the present and the future are linked together—this refers to the interdependence of grandfather, father and son. When a son has children and becomes

World Scripture II V8 013107.ind932 932

2/1/2007 3:16:29 PM

Family

933

a father, at the same moment the father becomes a grandfather. These three generations—representing the past, the present and the future—should be united as one. Such a family can establish a base for lasting happiness. It has the power to repulse Satan’s attacks, regardless of the turmoil in the world. (28:162, January 11, 1970)

❖

Filial Piety FILIAL PIETY IS THE AGE-OLD MORAL PRINCIPLE that children show respect and honor to their parents. It is the parents’ due, for they have sacrificed and labored for their children’s sake, giving them birth, feeding them and providing them with a good start in life. Therefore, filial children do not regard it as an imposition to care for their parents in their old age. Ideally this is not regarded as a matter of duty, but as the spontaneous and natural prompting of a grateful heart.

Among Father Moon’s extensive teachings about filial piety are these: Filial should be encouraged as an enduring tradition that links the generations in an unbroken chain of lineage. Filial piety is perfected in a mature unselfish mind of the adult child who sympathizes with his parents’ difficulties and sufferings and recognizes them to be more serious then his or her own small problems. Most importantly, filial piety is a doorway to a deeper relationship with God, our divine Parent.

1. Filial Piety as the Root of Virtue Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land which the Lord your God gives you.

Exodus 20.12

them in terms of honor. And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say, “My Lord! Bestow on them Thy mercy even as they cherished me in childhood.”

Qur’an 17.23

There are three partners in man, God, father, and mother. When a man honors his father and mother, God says, “I regard it as though I had dwelt among them and they had honored me.”

Talmud, Kiddushin 30b (Judaism)

Do not neglect the sacrificial works due to the gods and the fathers! Let your mother be to you like unto a god! Let your father be to you like unto a god! Let your teacher be to you like unto a god!

The superior man works upon the trunk. When that is firmly set up, the Way grows. And surely proper behavior towards parents and elder brothers is the trunk of Goodness?

Analects 1.2 (Confucianism)

Those who wish to be born in [the Pure Land] of Buddha… should act filially towards their parents and support them, and should serve and respect their teachers and elders.

Meditation on Buddha Amitayus 27 (Buddhism)

Taittiriyaka Upanishad 1.11.2 (Hinduism)

Thy Lord has decreed… that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in your lifetime, do not say to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address

World Scripture II V8 013107.ind933 933

This do I ask, O Lord; reveal to me the truth.

Who fashioned piety in addition to dominion?

Who made a son respectful and attentive to his father?

Avesta, Yasna 44.7 (Zoroastrianism)

2/1/2007 3:16:30 PM

934

World Scripture and the Teachings of Sun Myung Moon

Now filial piety is the root of all virtue, and the stem out of which grows all moral teaching…

Our bodies—to every hair and bit of skin—are received by us from our parents, and we must not presume to injure or wound them: this is the beginning of filial piety. When we have established our character by the practice of the filial course, so as to make our name famous in future ages, and thereby glorify our parents: this is the end of filial piety. It commences with the service

of parents; it proceeds to the service of the ruler; it is completed by the establishment of [good] character.

Classic on Filial Piety 1 (Confucianism)

If your parents take care of you up to the time you cut your teeth, you take care of them when they lose theirs.

Akan Proverb (African Traditional Religions)

Teachings of Sun Myung Moon Filial piety cannot be practiced with a self-centered attitude. (62:37, September 10, 1972) Who is a filial child? He or she always thinks of what his or her parents want most and then acts upon it, taking the position of their object partner. The eyes of a filial child see the things his or her parents would like to see. The ears of a filial child hear the sounds his or her parents would like to hear. The heart of a filial child has feelings his or her parents would like to feel. In other words, filial children love centered on their parents’ five senses, always yearning for the realm of their parents’ heart. They only want what is good for their parents, never anything bad. And when their parents have something good, they try to make it even better. (161:132, January 18, 1987) A son or daughter who worries more about his or her parents’ cares and difficulties than about his or her own can be called a filial son or daughter. On the other hand, a son who always expects his parents to worry about his troubles, never concerned that they have their own difficulties, is not truly united with his parents.

According to the principle of filial piety, the child who habitually ignores his parents’ situation will fail to properly respond to his parents at the crucial moment when they desperately need his help.

Though the son clings to his parents, continually imploring them to recognize and resolve his difficulties, at the crucial moment he will be a treacherous son. We experience this in our daily life.

Filial piety starts when a child worries about his parents’ difficulties more than his own, adding theirs to his own, and accepts this as a matter of course. On the other hand, when the child ignores his parents’ difficulties, a breach occurs in the relationship. The way of impiety starts there. (62:187, September 25, 1972) A filial son takes responsibility for his parents’ sorrow. He goes to difficult places in order to resolve their sorrow, that they might rejoice. If his parents work ten hours and the son works fifteen, the parents will feel joy corresponding to the extra five. Thus, a filial son considers how to supplement what is missing. He serves his parents, trying his best. (24:261, August 24, 1969) What should you do in order to become a filial son or daughter? You should always keep your mind and heart in line with the direction of your parents’ heart. A child who walks the path of filial piety does not act apart from his parents. If his parents go east, he goes east, and if his parents go west, he goes west. Should his parents suddenly turn back, he turns back without dissent. Even if they change their direction ten times, he still follows them.

World Scripture II V8 013107.ind934 934

2/1/2007 3:16:30 PM

Family

935

If you resist and complain, “Father and mother, I don’t like this. What kind of parents are you, changing your minds so impulsively?” then you will not be able to keep the way of filial piety all the way to the end. Even when your parents do something that seems crazy, you should still follow your parents’ direction. It might seem that they are mad, but your parents know what they are doing and why they are doing it.

Sometimes parents act capriciously to test their children, to pick the most filial child from among them… Therefore, you should take your parents’ follies as your vocation. (62:32-33, December 18, 1985) When educating children, parents should not teach them only to love their parents. They should explain to their children, “I am a loyal patriot who loves this nation. I’m not a mother first, but a patriotic mother; I’m not only a father, but a loyal citizen.” In order to teach filial piety, parents should behave with filial piety themselves.3 Otherwise, their children will fall like autumn leaves.

(26:296, November 10, 1969) People have traditionally brought up their children to put the benefit of their own families first, but this is upside-down. Rather, we should train our children first to please Heaven, then please the world, then please the nation and the community, and after that, to please our family. That is the original principle. But our way of life has become upside-down due to the Human Fall. (8:105, November 22, 1959)

❖ 2. The Inseparable Bond between Parents and Children We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents: In pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him birth. The carrying of the child to his weaning is thirty months. At length, when he reaches the age of full strength and attains forty years, he says, “O my Lord! Grant me that I may be grateful for Your favor which You have bestowed upon me, and upon both my parents, and that I may work righteousness such as You may approve; and be gracious to me in my issue. Truly have I turned to You and truly do I bow to You in Islam.”

Such are they from whom We shall accept the best of their deeds and pass by their ill deeds: they shall be among the Companions of the Garden: a promise of truth, which was made to them. Paradise, holding the true promise which has been given them.

Qur’an 46.15-16

World Scripture II V8 013107.ind935 935

Brethren, one can never repay two persons, I declare. What two? Mother and father. Even if one should carry about his mother on one shoulder and his father on the other, and so doing should live a hundred years; and if he should support them, anointing them with unguents, kneading and rubbing their limbs, and they meanwhile should even void their excrements upon him—even so could he not repay his parents. Moreover, if he should establish his parents in supreme authority, in the absolute rule over this mighty earth abounding in the seven treasures—not even thus could he repay his parents. Why not? Brethren, parents do much for their children; they bring them up, they nourish them, they introduce them to this world.

However, brethren, whoso incites his unbelieving parents, settles and establishes them in the faith; whoso incites his immoral

2/1/2007 3:16:30 PM

936

World Scripture and the Teachings of Sun Myung Moon

parents, settles and establishes them in morality; whoso incites his stingy parents, settles and establishes them in liberality; whoso incites his foolish parents, settles and establishes them in wisdom—such a one, just by so doing, does repay, does more than repay what is due to his parents.

Anguttara Nikaya 1.61 (Buddhism)

Hearken to your father who begot you, and do not despise your mother when she is old.

Buy truth, and do not sell it; buy wisdom, instruction, and understanding.

The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice; he who begets a wise son will be glad in him.

Let your father and mother be glad, let her who bore you rejoice.

Proverbs 23.22-25

One companion asked, “O Apostle of God! Who is the person worthiest of my consideration?” He replied, “Your mother.” He asked again, “And second to my mother?” The Prophet said, “Your mother.” The companion insisted, “And then?”

The Messenger of God said, “After your mother, your father.”

Hadith of Bukhari and Muslim (Islam)

Son, why do you quarrel with your father, Due to him you have grown to this age?

It is a sin to argue with him.

My father, thank you for petting me; My mother, thank you for making me comfortable; Thank you for robing me with wisdom, which is more important than robing me with clothes.

Slaves will minister unto you; Servants will be your helpers.

Children whom I shall bear will minister unto you.

Yoruba Nuptial Chant (African Traditional Religions)

Adi Granth, Sarang, M.4, p. 1200 (Sikhism)

Teachings of Sun Myung Moon No one can change the relationship between parents and children. It cannot be rationalized away.

No amount of force can destroy it; nor can the lure of knowledge, power, and money. The relationship between a child and his or her parents is undeniable; it is destiny. It is inalienable, no matter how much people may try to break it.

Since this relationship, which is derived from love, life and lineage, is eternal, it can enable us to unite with God for eternity. (206:235, October 14, 1990) Parents and children form an inseparable relationship—especially mother and child. Can you argue with that? Although this is a fallen world, nothing can change the love between a mother and her child. Neither education nor political revolution can touch this bond. It is so even in the animal world, in the way of a mother bear loving her cubs. It will continue for billions of years, eternally, never changing. Motherhood is an unchanging principle. The entire universe revolves around motherhood. (143:52, March 15, 1986) To whom do you belong? You belong to your parents and to your children. Then, to whom do your parents belong? They belong to their children and to God. So, you should first belong to God, then to your parents, then to your children, and finally to yourself.

Therefore, can you attain perfection by yourself? You cannot. That is why moral laws and traditional customs the world over instruct us to respect and attend our parents. That is why these teachings remain and guide our lives to this day. Know that this is the reason we should honor and serve our parents and love our children. (18:209-210, June 8, 1967)

World Scripture II V8 013107.ind936 936

2/1/2007 3:16:30 PM

Family

937

Since parents give life to their children, children should be willing to give their lives for their parents. Life came from love. Hence, it is logical that we sacrifice life for love. There is no contradiction here. (137:76, December 18, 1985) Children should pay back their parents for the love their parents gave them. When food was scarce their parents fed them, even while they went about with empty stomachs. They loved them at such a cost in order to raise children who will do the same for them.

Parents, you should first go the path of toilsome work and difficulties. Then, with that as a foundation, your children will also go the path of toilsome work and difficulties that can bring comfort to you. Moreover, because you have been filial to your parents, your children will develop filial piety towards you. And by raising such children, you can bequeath a good lineage to future generations. However, if you live only for yourself and neglect your parents, you cannot expect that your children will be filial towards you.

Who is a filial child? He loves his parents as his parents loved him. A person who lives this way has a foundation to relate with God… The principle of give and take action states that only when a reciprocal base is formed can there be some return. God comes and abides only upon such a foundation. It is a necessary foundation for establishing the Kingdom of Heaven.

Therefore, sons and daughters who can live in the Kingdom of Heaven are those who willingly paid back the debt of their parents’ love. When your parents became old and senile, you should willingly and gladly attend them. You can think about how when you were an infant your parents changed your diapers and wiped you clean. You should not feel anything difficult in doing this; it is natural for a filial child. (35:241-42, October 19, 1970) Your parents tell you to be filial. Why? They want you to participate in the same path of love that they walked, a path that centers on the parents. Yet there is more: The path of parents’ true love leads to a relationship with the invisible God. Unity with your parents connects you with both realms of heart—invisible as well as visible, vertical history as well as horizontal history. That is why your parents teach you to become a filial child.

Yet today many people question, “Why should I live a life of filial piety?” Especially, people in America think that way. They even wonder, “Did our parents ever think of giving birth to me? Or did they just happen to conceive me while making love?” They do not know this principle.

The vertical standard must be set before a horizontal standard can be set. For instance, when we construct a building, we first make sure that the beams are vertically straight and then we align them horizontally. Otherwise, the building will fall down. Therefore, while living in the world, we should connect to the vertical standard. (136:203, December 29, 1985) Yet these days, children are denying their parents. From that starting point, they go on to flaunt basic human ethics and morality. This negation of morality is a sign that we are living in the Last Days.

Unification Church members: do not dance to the rhythm of this present trend. Instead, uphold a firm and true connection with your elders. Parents must establish it, children must establish it, and educators must establish it. (21:121, November 17, 1968)

❖

World Scripture II V8 013107.ind937 937

2/1/2007 3:16:30 PM

938

World Scripture and the Teachings of Sun Myung Moon

Sibling Love LOVE AND HARMONY AMONG SIBLINGS is essential for peace in the family. Few matters cause parents more anxiety than quarrels among their children. Yet with the common propensity for sibling rivalry, harmony is not easily kept.

Sibling relations are grounded in parental love. Siblings mirror their parents; hence when parents set a good example in caring for their children, the siblings can readily follow in caring for one another. Furthermore, sibling relations are a young person’s first step to relations in the wider world, with friends and peers. In God’s family, all people are brothers and sisters. Therefore, sibling love should extend to love for all people. Hence scripture’s words about forgiving and reconciling with one’s “brother” apply not only to siblings in the same family, but to brothers and sisters in the family of faith, and ultimately to all men and women in the world.

Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity!

It is like the precious oil upon the head, running down upon the beard, upon the beard of Aaron, running down on the collar of his robes!

It is like the dew of Hermon, which falls on the mountains of Zion!

For there the Lord has commanded the blessing, life for evermore.

Psalm 133

Set things right between your two brothers, and fear God; haply so you will find mercy.

Qur’an 49.10

Surely proper behavior towards parents and elder brothers is the trunk of Goodness.

Analects 1.2 (Confucianism)

The Book of Songs says, When wives and children and their sires are one, ‘Tis like the harp and lute in unison.

When brothers live in concord and at peace The strain of harmony shall never cease.

The lamp of happy union lights the home, And bright days follow when the children come.

Confucius, commenting on the above, remarked, “In such a state of things what more satisfaction can parents have?”

Doctrine of the Mean 15.3 (Confucianism)

You have heard that it was said to the men of old, “You shall not kill; and whoever kills shall be liable to judgment.” But I say to you that every one who is angry with his brother shall be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother shall be liable to the council, and whoever says, “You fool!” shall be liable to the hell of fire. So if you are offering your gift at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.

Matthew 5.21-24

Teachings of Sun Myung Moon How should brothers and sisters love each other? What should be their standard of love? They should love each other as their parents love them. Children learn love from their parents.

Children can begin to inherit their parents’ love by relating with their siblings. A boy can love his older sister as he would love his mother; a girl can love her older brother as she would her father.

World Scripture II V8 013107.ind938 938

2/1/2007 3:16:31 PM

Family

939

The eldest son should love his younger brothers as his father loves him, and the eldest daughter should love her younger sisters as her mother loves her. (66:121, April 18, 1973) Do filial sons and daughters bring their parents presents, saying, “I love you Daddy and Mommy,” while always fighting with their brothers and sisters? No, such children are not filial. Any mother would think that a good son or daughter is one who loves his or her brothers and sisters more than her. This principle applies not only in the family, but in the family of humankind. If we live by this principle, then we can make the Kingdom of Heaven on earth. (95:189, November 13, 1977) Suppose the president of a nation has a younger brother in his family who is a mere laborer. He should not say to his younger brother, “You are a mere laborer, so you should work for me.” If he were a true brother, he would be sad that his younger brother’s position was so far beneath his, and he would want to do whatever he could to elevate his brother. Such is brotherly heart and love.

(7:38, July 5, 1959) When you regard your brother’s difficulties as less important than your own, the brotherhood relationship becomes distant. (62:188, September 25, 1972) In a family, when brothers fight, whom do the parents side with? No parent will side with the one who hit first, or who fights for a selfish purpose. The reason why they do so is because they want their child to grow up to be good. This is consistent with moral education throughout history. (31:235, June 4, 1970) People who have good relationships with their own siblings will be more likely to get along with their neighbors and friends when they go out into society. They are also bound to have wholesome relationships with friends of the opposite sex. They will not relate to the opposite sex with sensual or unhealthy feelings, but rather with brotherly or sisterly feelings. (Tongil Segye 194, p. 16) If in the past you fought with your sisters or brothers, give them a feast to make them happy and apologize for your past behavior. Be reconciled with them and love them again as you love your mother and father. If you do this, how beautiful it would be! Then after your parents pass away, your brothers and sisters will help, serve, and love each other with the same regard as they had for their parents. From such a mind and heart, the Kingdom of Heaven starts to become a reality.

You can also see aspects of your mother and father in your aunts and uncles and cousins. Your aunts and uncles display aspects of your father and mother, grandfather and grandmother. You should regard them as gifts to show God. You should love them with your life. The Kingdom of Heaven is where everyone lives together and loves one another. Everyone!

From this point of view, the world is an expanded family. There are people in the community of the same age as your grandparents, aunts and uncles, parents, and brothers and sisters…

In the sight of God, all people in the world are His sons and daughters. Therefore, we should love all the people of the world as our brothers and sisters. If you see a poor beggar who is about your father’s age, you should care for him as if he were your father. How beautiful! Is God happy to see His children fighting? It is the principle of family relationships applied to the whole of humanity, who are the children of God’s family. (184:65-66, November 13, 1988)

World Scripture II V8 013107.ind939 939

2/1/2007 3:16:31 PM

940

World Scripture and the Teachings of Sun Myung Moon

Cain and Abel must never be divided. They are like the right hand and the left hand. Everyone should believe that my God is also my brother’s God; that the God who loves me also loves my brother. (3:207, November 1, 1957)

❖

Friendship THE LESSONS LEARNED IN RELATING TO SIBLINGS find immediate application in making and keeping friends.

Friendship is the natural extension of sibling love. Strong friendships are built on an emotional connection of empathy and shared experiences, but friendship also has an ethical component: The good friend is honest, faithful and true, and always seeks to benefit his friends, while the bad friend uses his friends for his own benefit. The scriptures admonish people to choose their friends carefully, lest they be misled or find themselves abandoned in times of adversity.

1. True Friends and False Friends Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

John 15.13

It is because one antelope will blow the dust from the other’s eye that two antelopes walk together.6 Akan Proverb (African Traditional Religions)

And the believers, men and women, are protecting friends one of another; they enjoin the right and forbid the wrong, and they establish worship and pay the poor-due, and they obey God and His messenger.

Qur’an 9.71

The gentleman by his culture collects friends about him, and through these friends promotes goodness.

Analects 12.24 (Confucianism)

I am distressed for you, my brother Jonathan; very pleasant have you been to me; your love to me was wonderful, passing the love of women.4 2 Samuel 1:26

The dog says, “If you fall down, and I fall down, the play will be enjoyable.”5 Nupe Proverb (African Traditional Religions)

Fellowship with Men: Men bound in fellowship first weep and lament, But afterward they laugh.

The Master said, “Life leads the thoughtful man on a path of many windings.

Now the course is checked, now it runs straight again.

Here winged thoughts may pour freely forth in words, There the heavy burden of knowledge must be shut away in silence.

But when two people are at one in their inmost hearts, They shatter even the strength of iron or of bronze.

And when two people understand each other in their inmost hearts, Their words are sweet and strong, like the fragrance of orchids.”

I Ching, Great Commentary 1.8.6 (Confucianism)

World Scripture II V8 013107.ind940 940

2/1/2007 3:16:31 PM

Family

There are three sorts of friend that are profitable, and three sorts that are harmful. Friendship with the upright, with the true-to-death, and with those who have heard much is profitable.

Friendship with the obsequious, friendship with those who are good at accommodating their principles, friendship with those who are clever at talk is harmful.

941

The friend who is a helper all the time, The friend in happiness and sorrow both, The friend who gives advice that’s always good, The friend who has full sympathy with you, These four the wise see as good-hearted friends And with devotion cherish such as these As does a mother cherish her own child.

Digha Nikaya 3.187, Sigalovada Sutta (Buddhism)

Analects 16.4 (Confucianism)

The friend who always seeks his benefit, The friend whose words are other than his deeds, The friend who flatters just to make you pleased, The friend who keeps you company in wrong, These four the wise regard as enemies: Shun them from afar as paths of danger.

Only few people act in our interest in our absence, When we are not around.

But in our presence, every Dick and Harry, slaves and freeborn, Display their love for us.

Yoruba Verse (African Traditional Religions)

Teachings of Sun Myung Moon Do you have a best friend, someone with whom you have an unbreakable bond? Someone you treasure more than anyone else in the world, including your wife? A relationship with a best friend cannot be broken by an angry word or a day’s quarrel. You cannot abandon him even at the risk of your life.

You do not feel this way about your friend out of sympathy, but because you are connected from the bottom of your heart, which is the source of goodness. A relationship that is connected to the goodness in your original mind can never be broken. (42:218, March 14, 1971) Who is a true friend? A true friend lives for her friends; she does not regard her friends as existing for her benefit. Suppose among ten friends, one of them lived his or her life for the sake of the other nine. If you ask them, “Who is your best friend?” they will all pick the friend who lived for the others. (70:72, February 8, 1974) As we cultivate our relationship with another person—a friend or family member, over time we connect a part of our life to that person’s life and also connect emotionally. What may have begun as a professional or formal relationship expands to fill more aspects of our life. Our friend’s presence grows ever larger in our heart, and in time he or she becomes someone whom we cannot live without. (59:296, July 30, 1972) Happy is the man who has friends who commiserate with his mishaps and sorrows. Happy is the man who, when he is in pain, has friends or children who are willing to take any pains and even risk their lives on his behalf. (150:196, February 15, 1961) When you visit an acquaintance whose face you barely know, you do not feel at ease; instead you feel awkward. But when you visit a friend to whom you have strong emotional ties, you feel at ease.

You feel free to interfere in your friend’s affairs, and your friend can step into your personal life as well. A strong friendship is bound with ties of emotional affection. Friends can cope with any external difficulty on the strength of their bond of heart. (33:133, August 11, 1970)

World Scripture II V8 013107.ind941 941

2/1/2007 3:16:31 PM

942

World Scripture and the Teachings of Sun Myung Moon

If you want to be someone’s best friend, you should understand his agony and suffering, and comfort him in his misfortune. If you have a relationship with him through heart and love, you will move him, and he will move you. (7:306, October 11, 1959)

❖ 2. Wisdom in Choosing Friends Associate not with evil friends, associate not with dishonorable people; Associate with good friends, associate with noble people.

Both are fouled. A man inspired In the fear of being soiled Should not company with rogues.

Itivuttaka 68 (Buddhism)

Dhammapada 78 (Buddhism)

Bad company ruins good morals.

1 Corinthians 15.33

What is attached to the defiled will be defiled; and what is attached to the pure will be pure.

Mishnah, Kelim 12.2 (Judaism)

Those that are good, seek for friends; that will help you to practice virtue with body and soul.

Those that are wicked, keep at a distance; it will prevent evil from approaching you.

It is by dealing with a man that his virtue is to be known, and that too after a long time; not by one who gives it a passing thought or no thought at all; by a wise man, not by a fool. It is by association that a man’s integrity is to be known…

It is in times of trouble that his fortitude is to be known… It is by conversing with him, that a man’s wisdom is to be known, and that too after a long time; not by one who gives it a passing thought or no thought at all; by a wise man, not by a fool.

Udana 65-66 (Buddhism)

Tract of the Quiet Way (Taoism)

Sit in the assembly of the honest; join with those that are good and virtuous; nay, seek out a noble enemy where enmity cannot be helped and have nothing to do with the wicked and the unrighteous. Even in bondage you should live with the virtuous, the erudite, and the truthful; but not for a kingdom should you stay with the wicked and the malicious.

Garuda Purana 112 (Hinduism)

As the man one makes his friend, As the one he follows, Such does he himself become; he is like unto his mate.

Follower and following, Toucher and touched alike, As a shaft with poison is smeared Poisons all the bunch unsmeared,

World Scripture II V8 013107.ind942 942

When you gain a friend, gain him through testing, and do not trust him hastily.

For there is a friend who is such at his own convenience, but will not stand by you in your day of trouble.

And there is a friend who changes into an enemy, and will disclose a quarrel to your disgrace.

And there is a friend who is a table companion, but will not stand by you in your day of trouble.

In your prosperity he will make himself your equal, and be bold with your servants; but if you are brought low he will turn against you, and will hide himself from your presence.

A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter: he that has found one has found a treasure.

2/1/2007 3:16:31 PM

Family

There is nothing so precious as a faithful friend, and no scales can measure his excellence.

A faithful friend is an elixir of life; and those who fear the Lord will find him.

943

Whoever fears the Lord directs his friendship aright, for as he is, so is his neighbor also.

Sirach 6.7-17 (Christianity)

Teachings of Sun Myung Moon Keeping company with bad friends can ruin your entire life. Therefore, from ancient times people have been taught to be careful in selecting friends. This wisdom applies across the ages and countries of the world.

No one finds it easy to be considerate of others when he finds himself in a difficult circumstance.

This is common to everyone. When people are in bad straits, and to avoid more suffering, they may take advantage of their friends. Catching their friends unawares, they may deceive them and use them, to their hurt.

Considered in this light, who on earth can you trust? It is difficult to find a friend with genuine integrity, on whom you can rely. Although you believe a person to be your good friend, he might step on you and take advantage of you if his circumstances press on him. For this reason, selecting your close friends, and choosing who to build a good relationship with, is a most difficult question.

(91:29-30, January 2, 1977) When you make a friend, is he someone who works and aspires for a better future? Or does he live only for today, without any ambition? Friends who lack ambition will cause you to decline as time goes by. Therefore, make relationships with better friends in order to build up your future. (32:14, June 14, 1970) Do any of you want a friend who is strongly inclined to self-indulgence? Is a friend who always cares about only him or herself a good friend or a bad friend? Why bad? That kind of person sows divisions and discord. He separates his friends from their families, clans, and networks of relationships. That kind of person blocks relationships, just like a pulling down a window-shade blocks the view out of a window. You should clearly understand why such a friend is bad. Evil connects with self-indulgence…

You want a good friend, right? You do not want bad friends, do you? Is a friend who says, “Skip your meal and forget about school! Come out and play!” a good friend? Rather, a good friend would feed you if you did not eat at mealtime, and a good friend would encourage you to go to school even if you do not want to go. That is a good friend; he is in every way the opposite of a bad friend. Here we distinguish the good from the evil. (36:69, November 15, 1970) Analyze each of your friends—one friend is like this and another is like that. Study and compare your friends of different types. Is this one calm, or arrogant, or strong, or indecisive? Select three or four of them and verify whether your judgment of them was correct. (54:177, March 24, 1972)

❖

World Scripture II V8 013107.ind943 943

2/1/2007 3:16:31 PM

944

World Scripture and the Teachings of Sun Myung Moon

Conjugal Love THE MARRIAGE BOND IS DIVINELY SANCTIONED; it carries with it the promise of God’s blessing. The joys of conjugal love are a gift of God. Through bearing the fruits of conjugal love—children—we participate as cocreators with God. More than that, conjugal love can be a place to meet God and know God’s love in a most intimate and real way.

Father Moon teaches extensively on this topic: God created human beings to become complete through marriage. He offers much practical advice on how spouses can strengthen and renew their love. Yet, the mutual affection between husband and wife is only the half of it; more fundamental is the vertical link between God’s love and human love that is created through the blessing of marriage. The God of love created the human love between man and woman to mirror divine love. Hence it should be absolute, unchanging and unique: spouses should be as faithful to each other as God is to each of us as individuals. These days, when many people are questioning the value of marriage, people would do well to heed the voices of religion which lift up the place of marriage within the divine plan of life.

Several scripture passages ground marriage in the original plan which God instituted in the Garden of Eden. Here is Father Moon’s unique contribution: he explains how this original conjugal love was damaged by the Human Fall. As a result, conventional human love inevitably deviates from divine love, putting the ideal of marriage out of reach. A central purpose of Father Moon’s mission is to restore conjugal love to its original blessed state through the Holy Blessing Ceremony which he offers to all humankind.

1. Love and Affection between Husband and Wife Sweet be the glances we exchange, our faces showing true concord.

Enshrine me in your heart and let one spirit dwell within us.

I wrap around you this my robe which came to me from Manu, so that you may be wholly mine and never seek another.

Atharva Veda 7.36-37 (Hinduism)

Not those are true husband and wife that with each other [merely] consort: Truly wedded are those that in two frames, are as one light.

Adi Granth, Var-Suhi-Ki, M.3, p. 788 (Sikhism)

Among His signs is that He created spouses for you among yourselves that you may console yourselves with them. He has planted affection and mercy between you.

Qur’an 30.21

World Scripture II V8 013107.ind944 944

Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm; For love is strong as death, jealousy is cruel as the grave.

Its flashes are flashes of fire, a most vehement flame.

Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it.

If a man offered for love all the wealth of his house, it would be utterly scorned.

Song of Solomon 8.6-7

O that you would kiss me with the kisses of your mouth!

For your love is better than wine, your anointing oils are fragrant, your name is oil poured out; therefore the maidens love you.

Draw me after you, let us make haste.

The king has brought me into his chambers.

2/1/2007 3:16:32 PM

Family

We will exult and rejoice in you; we will extol your love more than wine; rightly do they love you. 7 Song of Solomon 1.2-4

945

May the universal Devas and Apas join our hearts together; so may Matarisvan, Dhatri, and Dveshtri unite us both.8 Rig Veda 10.85.35-47 (Hinduism)

Behold the comely forms of Surya! her border-cloth and her headwear, and her garment triply parted, these the priest has sanctified.

I take your hand for good fortune, that you may attain old age with me, your husband. The solar deities— Bhaga, Aryaman, Savitri, Purandhi— have given you to me to be mistress of my household.

Kwan-kwan go the ospreys, On the islet in the river.

The modest, retiring, virtuous, young lady— For our prince a good mate is she.

Here long, there short, is the duckweed, To the left, to the right, borne about by the current.

The modest, retiring, virtuous, young lady— Waking and sleeping, he sought her.

Pushan, arouse her, the most blissful one; through whom a new generation will spring to life.

She, in the ardor of her love, will meet me, and I, ardently loving, will meet her…

He sought her and found her not, And waking and sleeping he thought about her.

Long he thought; oh! long and anxiously; On his side, on his back, he turned, and back again.

Live you two here, be not parted, enjoy the full length of life, sporting with your sons and grandsons, rejoicing in your own abode.

Here long, there short, is the duckweed; On the left, on the right, we gather it.

The modest, retiring, virtuous, young lady— With lutes, small and large, let us give her friendly welcome.

May Prajapati bring forth children of us, may Aryaman unite us together till old age, Not inauspicious, enter your husband’s house, be gracious to our people and animals.

Come, not with fierce looks, not harming your husband, good to animals, kind-hearted and glorious, a mother of heroes, loving the gods, pleasant, gracious to humans and to animals.

Make her, thou bounteous Indra, a good mother of sons; grant her good fortune; give her ten sons and make her husband the eleventh.

Be a queen to your father-in-law, a queen to your mother-in-law, a queen to your husband’s sisters, and a queen to your husband’s brothers.

World Scripture II V8 013107.ind945 945

Here long, there short, is the duckweed; On the left, on the right, we cook and present it.

The modest, retiring, virtuous, young lady— With bells and drums let us show delight in her.9 Book of Songs, Ode 1 (Confucianism)

Kaen-kwan went the axle ends of my carriage, As I thought of the young beauty, and went to fetch her.

It was not that I was hungry or thirsty, But I longed for one of such virtuous fame to come and be with me.

Although no good friends be with us, we will feast and be glad.

Dense is that forest in the plain, And there sit the long-tailed pheasants.

In her proper season that well-grown lady,

2/1/2007 3:16:32 PM

946

World Scripture and the Teachings of Sun Myung Moon

With her admirable virtue, is come to instruct me.

We will feast, and I will praise her: “I love you, and will never be weary of you.”

Although I have no good spirits, We will drink, and perhaps be satisfied.

Although I have no good viands, We will eat, and perhaps be satisfied.

Although I have no virtue to impart to you, We will sing and dance.

I ascend that lofty ridge, And split the branches of the oaks for firewood.

I split the branches of the oaks for firewood Amid the luxuriance of their leaves.

I see you whose match is seldom to be seen, And my whole heart is satisfied.

Book of Songs, Ode 218 (Confucianism)

Teachings of Sun Myung Moon Man and woman are God’s masterpieces. When they love each other centered on God, it is supreme, transcendental love, not worldly love. They feel that their love is the best of all loves; the most beautiful love, shining forever. Where can they experience and fulfill such love? Only in the family.

(26:154, October 25, 1969) A husband and wife love each other without conditions. Their love is unconditional. Their love is absolute, eternal love. (112:294, April 25, 1981) When a husband and wife love each other, the man does not block his wife from entering deep into his heart. The woman likewise does not resist her husband. Even if impenetrable walls surround their hearts, love has no difficulty surmounting them. (49:52, October 3, 1971) When you love your spouse, you feel your body’s desire to unite with your beloved. When husband and wife become one flesh in true love, they become inseparable. They can live in unity, loving each other forever. (187:47, January 6, 1989) Why is marriage so important? It is the path to finding love. It is the path to knowing what love is.

It teaches about life.

Marriage joins the life of a woman and the life of a man. In time [through children], it joins the lineage of the man and the lineage of the woman. It thus begins a history, a nation, the world and the Kingdom of Heaven on earth. (279:114-15, August 1, 1996) What is the Kingdom of Heaven as a couple? It is the state of matrimony where a man and woman are totally united as one. It is not like a typical marriage where in the beginning you tell your spouse, “I love you,” but after a few years you say good-bye and divorce… A heavenly couple is inseparable; they could lose their legs by exploding dynamite but still keep embracing with their upper bodies!

That is possible only with true love. To achieve that kind of love, your mind and body must be completely united. Then you can attain the Kingdom of Heaven as a couple. (96:29, January 1, 1978) The purpose of marriage is to synchronize the man’s heart and the woman’s heart to perfect their love. The wedding ceremony is a proclamation of the couple’s commitment and determination toward that goal. If you start with the goal to perfect your love and heart through

World Scripture II V8 013107.ind946 946

2/1/2007 3:16:32 PM

Family

947

your married life, you are on the way to fulfilling the ideal of family. If you actually fulfill it, upon your death you will certainly go to heaven, because your lives will be heaven. (97:277, March 26, 1978) A man’s wife represents his mother; she contains elements of his mother as well. At the same time, she contains elements of his elder sisters, younger sisters, and indeed all the women in the world.

When he loves his wife, who contains all these elements, he is loving his mother, his elder sisters and younger sisters, and indeed all the women in the world.

Likewise, to woman, her husband represents and contains elements of her father, elder brothers, younger brothers and all the men in the world. In loving him, she loves her father, her brothers, and all the men in the world. This is the ideal of the family. (God’s Will and the World, September 21, 1978) We marry for the sake of our partner. Therefore, the man should have the attitude that even if he finds some aspects of his wife unattractive, he will love her even more than if she were beautiful.

This is the principled way of thinking. (97:321, April 1, 1978) What is the solution for unity? It is the heart to love each other. Love can come from pity as well as from liking. Few couples love each other from the start.10 Love grows with time. A woman marries a man who is absolutely stubborn, and thinks the man is totally unlovable. Then the woman takes pity on him for the many obstacles that he must confront because of the stubbornness. Then, when her pity turns to love, the man can find solace in her. The woman might even find her husband’s stubbornness useful because she is not stubborn enough herself, and this way, turns his stubbornness to mutual advantage. So, love’s affection can bloom even from pity, and eventually lead to unity.

(41:332-33, February 18, 1971) Families that live in hardship are not necessarily unhappy. Sharing a single piece of bread, when the husband feeds his wife even though he does not eat, or the wife feeds her husband even though she goes hungry—how deep is the love in that family! (216:270, April 7, 1991) A woman is better off taking a wild and rough man for a husband rather than one who is delicate and fine-featured. The husband-wife relationship brings together opposites. Therefore, a woman who takes a wild and tough man as her opposite partner will live happily. The wife who receives the love of such a husband is a happy wife. You women should not forget this, and encourage your husbands to be rough and tough.

It is the law of love that the strength of a man becomes like a gentle spring breeze in front of a woman. Among men matters are determined by the strongest fist, but in front of a beloved woman that fist becomes as soft as cotton. Therefore, a woman should not be afraid of a man who is wild and rough. Rather she should think that the stronger a man is, the more worthy he is to receive her love. (Blessing and Ideal Family 4.1.6) Do you wish to become a loving couple that shines like the moon and even like the sun? Try to dig out all the beautiful points in your spouse. It may take a lifetime of digging, and still you cannot fathom them all. Finally when you arrive in the spirit world, you can plumb love’s deepest core.

World Scripture II V8 013107.ind947 947

2/1/2007 3:16:32 PM

948

World Scripture and the Teachings of Sun Myung Moon

Therefore, wives, study your husbands. You may think he is one way, but then you should discover another side of him. Study him from every possible angle, and you can see the whole universe in him. Then you can think he is more amazing than God! When you married him you saw him only through a small lens, from one direction, not from all directions. As long as you continue to regard him only from that narrow perspective, you cannot find ideal love. Over the years of living together you need to study him from every direction.

Do you have an unforgettable memory of your husband at his most charming? What is it? It is his body. So observe his entire body. After a fight, you glance at your husband and you will see his eyes blink. They blink just as your eyes blink. Observe carefully his breathing, his eyes, nose, lips and emotions—all these parts of him are just like you. The man you love exists for you, so you can never let him go.

If your heart never gets old, your love will never grow old either. Your life will never be boring and your lineage will endure forever. True love never grows old. It becomes more beautiful the older it gets. With such a heart you will always see your husband as the best-looking man in the world, and he will look at you as the most beautiful woman in the world.

It doesn’t matter that your wife looks unattractive; through the eyes of love, she is the most beautiful woman. Regardless of her form on earth, in the spirit world she will appear young and pretty, transfigured by the light of love that is brighter than any earthly light. A woman who places great store in her beauty is dismayed to see it fade as she grows old, and when she passes on to the other world she takes on an ugly appearance. On the other hand, a woman who shares a lifetime of love with her husband becomes beautiful in the other world. Her husband becomes the most handsome man.

The light of love is the highest form of light. Because it is the highest, it has the power to beautify anything. Therefore, think that the wife whom you love is the very light of heaven and earth. She is your love, your dream, your happiness, your freedom and your peace. Then when you go out of town, should you meet an alluring vixen you will not be tempted in the least. That temptress would appear like rotten fish in your eyes. There is no other way to beauty than by the love and light of God. (297:168-70, November 19, 1998) A husband and wife are like partners. Just as people have different faces, they have different destinies. If a man has a bad fortune, but he marries a woman whose fortune is good, his fortune can change for the better. Conversely, if a wife’s fortune is bad but her husband’s is good, her fortune can change for the better.

Over time, the husband and wife balance their destinies, as if they are leveling a mountain and filling in a valley to make a plain. After leveling the ground, the husband and wife can do many things together, such as plowing the fields and cultivating diverse crops and trees. (God’s Will and the World, September 22, 1978) Heaven starts in the family. Unless you can find God in your spouse, you cannot enter the Kingdom of Heaven. (Way of God’s Will 1.8)

❖

World Scripture II V8 013107.ind948 948

2/1/2007 3:16:32 PM

Family

949

2. Marriage Makes a Man or a Woman Complete He that has not got a wife is not yet a complete man.

Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard’s Almanack

The unmarried person lives without joy, without blessing, without good.

Talmud, Yebamot 62b (Judaism)

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” So out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all cattle, and to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for the man there was not found a helper fit for him. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh; and the rib which the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and cleaves to his wife, and they become one flesh.11

In the beginning there was only the Self, one only… He found no joy; so even today, one who is all alone finds no joy. He yearned for a second. He became as large as a man and a woman locked in close embrace. This self he split into two; hence arose husband and wife.

There­fore, as Yajnavalkya used to observe, “Oneself is like half of a split pea.” That is why this void is filled by woman. He was united with her, and thence were born human beings.

Brihadaranyaka Upanishad 1.4.17 and 1.4.3 (Hinduism)

The righteous cannot flourish save when they are male and female together, like Abraham and Sarai.

Zohar 1.82a (Judaism)

He is only a perfect man who consists (of three persons united): his wife, himself and his offspring; thus says the Veda, and learned brahmins propound this maxim likewise, “The husband is declared to be one with his wife.”

Laws of Manu 9.45 (Hinduism)

Genesis 2.18-24

Teachings of Sun Myung Moon A man by himself or a woman by herself is only one half. They marry to become complete. The love that you should perfect in your marriage is not egoistic love based on the belief that you live to gratify yourself. That kind of love is temporary and false. You should think that you are not born for your own sake but for the sake of your partner. Then you should give and forget, give and forget.

True love begins from that point. (262:67-68, July 23, 1994) Living for others is the basic rule of the existing world; all things are created for others and nothing was created for itself. Hence, man was not born for man; he was born for woman. Woman was not born for woman, but for man.

Whether beautiful or ugly, every woman exists for the sake of a man. All the characteristics and emotions of man and woman are designed for each other, not for themselves. When the partners in a marriage say to each other, “I was born for you, I will live for you, and I will die for you,” they are

World Scripture II V8 013107.ind949 949

2/1/2007 3:16:32 PM

950

World Scripture and the Teachings of Sun Myung Moon

considered an ideal, happy couple. This is, indeed, correct from the perspective of the basic rule of the existing world. This is the starting-point for true love. (135:234, December 11, 1985) Young men and women aspire to become great individuals. They want to build a good family and become good parents. Yet at the same time, they feel that they are lacking something within themselves. That is why, whether man or woman, they desire to have a good partner in their life. For the same reason, people wish to have children who are better than themselves. How wonderful it would be if we could complement our weaknesses through our counterpart! All people, when they love each other, carry such a desire deep in their hearts. (26:147, October 25, 1969) Woman has a feminine nature and man has a masculine nature; God made them as divided embodiments of Himself. How can they come together as one? Through love. Having formerly been divided, when they come together they will experience how strong the love is that God had been holding within Himself. Otherwise, they would never know God’s love.

You have love within you, but by yourself you cannot know it. You can experience it when you embrace your spouse. When you love your spouse, you feel all the love that was inside you from the beginning. (185:187, January 8, 1989) A husband needs his wife more than any other person in the world. The wife needs her husband more than any other person in the world. A husband and wife should be each other’s walking stick, companions who are ever advising each other. (27:87, November 26, 1969) Husbands, the woman standing before you is God’s daughter. Also, before she is your wife, she is humanity’s daughter. If you can love her as God’s beloved daughter and a woman whom all humanity loves, then you are qualified to be her husband. Men who do not respect their wives are not true husbands. Do you have such regard for your wife? If not, you should change, even now.

Wives, you should not think that your husband only belongs to you. First, he is a son of God; next, he represents all the men in the world. You should become a woman who can love this man more than all humanity can, and love him more than God loves him…

When a woman marries, she should be willing to become like her husband’s left foot, walking in step with him on their family’s path of love for God and all humanity. The husband is like the right foot and the wife is like the left foot. You should not go through life crippled; therefore you should marry. Your couple should not walk with a limp; both the right foot and the left foot should be healthy and strong. If it can walk straight, your couple is destined to live a harmonious married life. (88:318, October 3, 1976) Many women think it is okay not to marry if they do not want to. Yet if a woman does not marry, her physical body will not be able to function as a woman, and she will eventually get sick. A woman’s body is built with marriage as its normal life state. For a woman to live a single life and never marry a man is not normal, and to think that it is all right not to marry is not normal thinking. (238:71-72, November 19, 1992)

❖

World Scripture II V8 013107.ind950 950

2/1/2007 3:16:33 PM

Family

951

3. True Conjugal Love Unites a Man, a Woman and God When a man is at home, the foundation of his house is the wife, for it is on account of her that the Shekhinah (divine Presence) does not depart from the house. So our teachers have understood the verse, “And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent” (Genesis 24.67), to mean that the Shekhinah came into Isaac’s house along with Rebecca. Esoterically speaking, the supernal Mother is together with the male only when the house is in readiness and at the time the male and female are conjoined.

At such time blessings are showered forth by the supernal Mother upon them.12

composed of both male and female. And the Holy One, blessed be He, directs an emissary who is in charge of human embryos, and assigns to him this particular spirit, and indicates to it the place to which it should be entrusted. This is the meaning of, “The night said, a man-child has been conceived” (Job 3:3)… Then the spirit descends together with the image,13 the one in whose likeness the spirit existed above. With this image the man grows; with this image he moves through the world.

Zohar 1.50a (Judaism)

By the first nuptial circumambulation the Lord shows you His ordinance for the daily duties of wedded life. The scriptures are the Word of the Lord, learn righteousness through them, and the Lord will free you from sin…

By the second nuptial circumambulation you are to understand that the Lord has caused you to meet the true Guru; the fear in your hearts has departed; the filth of selfishness in your minds is washed away…

By the third nuptial circumambulation there is longing for the Lord and detachment from the world…

By the fourth nuptial circumambulation the mind reaches to knowledge of the Divine and God is inwardly grasped. Through the grace of the Guru we have attained with ease to the Lord; the sweetness of the Beloved pervades us, body and soul. Dear and pleasing is the Lord to us; night and day our minds are fixed on Him. By exalting the Lord we have attained the Lord: the fruit our hearts desired, for He has arranged these nuptials. The soul, the spouse, delights in the Beloved’s Name. The Lord God is united with His Holy Bride; the heart of the Bride flowers with His Name.14

Woman, O Gautama, is the sacrificial fire, her sexual organ is the fuel, the hairs the smoke, the vulva the flame, sexual intercourse the cinders, enjoyment the sparks. In this fire the gods offer semen as a libation. Out of this offering a new person is born.

Brihadaranyaka Upanishad 6.2.13 (Hinduism)

The Originator of the heavens and the earth; He has appointed for you of yourselves spouses, and pairs also of the cattle, by means of which He multiplies you.

Qur’an 42.11

See now, when desire brings man and woman together, there issues from their union a son in whom both their forms are combined, because God has fashioned him in a mold partaking of both. Therefore a man should sanctify himself at such time, in order that the form may be as perfect as possible.

Zohar, Genesis 90b (Judaism)

When a man begins to consecrate himself before intercourse with his wife with a sacred intention, a holy spirit is aroused above him,

World Scripture II V8 013107.ind951 951

Zohar 3.104b (Judaism)

Adi Granth, Raga Suhi, M. 4, p. 773-74: the Laavaan (Sikhism)

2/1/2007 3:16:33 PM

952

World Scripture and the Teachings of Sun Myung Moon

Teachings of Sun Myung Moon A man is born to find a woman, and a woman is born to find a man. We are created as man and woman to reach a higher level of God’s love through our union. As single people we cannot reach the fullness of God’s love—true love. We may touch God’s love, but it will only be one-dimensional love. As single people we cannot experience God’s three-dimensional and spherical love.

Therefore, a man and woman marry in order to reach that higher realm of love. In God’s original world before the Fall, when a husband and wife united they would form a mighty center, creating a sphere. The stronger the horizontal bond between them, the more they would connect to the vertical power of love. Their minds and bodies would revel in it and totally become one.

(109:275, November 2, 1980) When husband and wife are one in heart, they should become one in body. When they are one in heart and body, then they become one with God. The husband and wife become one in the center of love’s shimmering light as God covers the place where the man and woman are joined. The light embraces them and transforms them by its mysterious power. It transports them to an inexplicable, wondrous state. (296:33, October 11, 1998) God first created Adam as His incarnation. At the same time that Adam is God’s Son, he is also God Himself, wearing God’s body. Next, God created Eve as Adam’s partner in order to perfect horizontal love as the ideal love of husband and wife. At the same time that Eve is God’s Daughter, she is also the Bride who perfects God’s horizontal ideal of love in substantial form.

Where Adam and Eve reach perfection, marry with God’s blessing, and consummate their first love, this is precisely the place where God receives His bride in substantial form. This is because God’s ideal absolute love descends vertically and participates in the ideal conjugal love flowing horizontally between Adam and Eve. The true love of God and the true love of human beings—one vertical and the other horizontal—join, reach perfection and bear fruit at a single point. (277:19899, April 16, 1996) What is the purpose of marriage? It is to fulfill God’s ideal of creation. An individual by him or herself cannot fulfill it. It requires that we form a couple whose hearts are united with the heart of God, the Subject of all creation. Thus, when He moves, we move, and when He is still, we are still. That is how the inner and outer become one. Unless we set the standard as a couple through which we can harmonize with God, we cannot fulfill His purpose of creation. (35:321, October 19, 1970)

❖ 4. Marriage Is a Sacred Partnership, Aligning Two Human Beings with the Divine Image I am He, you are She; I am Song, you are Verse, I am Heaven, you are Earth.

We two shall here together dwell, becoming parents of children.

Atharva Veda 14.2.71 (Hinduism)

World Scripture II V8 013107.ind952 952

Representing heaven and earth, I have created husband and wife. This is the beginning of the world.

Mikagura-uta (Tenrikyo)

From the beginning of creation, “God made them male and female.” “For this reason a man

2/1/2007 3:16:33 PM

Family

shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”

So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder.

Mark 10.6-9

Blessed art Thou, O Lord our God, King of the universe, who created humankind in His image, in the image of the likeness of His form, and has prepared for him from His very own person an eternal building. Blessed art Thou, O Lord, Creator of man…

May Thou make joyful these beloved companions, just as Thou gladdened Thy creatures in the Garden of Eden in primordial times. Blessed art Thou, O Lord, who makes bridegroom and bride to rejoice.

Blessed art Thou, O Lord, King of the universe, who created mirth and joy, bridegroom and bride, gladness, jubilation, dancing and delight, love and brotherhood, peace and fellowship. Quickly, O Lord our God, may the sound of mirth and joy be heard in the streets of Judah and Jerusalem, the voice of bridegroom and bride, jubilant voices of bridegrooms from their canopies and youths from the feasts of song. Blessed art Thou, O Lord, who makes the bridegroom rejoice with the bride.15 Talmud, Ketubot 8a (Judaism)

The gospel of Love… presents the unity of male and female as no longer two wedded individuals, but as two individual natures in one; and this compounded spiritual individuality reflects God as Father-Mother, not as a corporeal being.

In this divinely united spiritual consciousness, there is no impediment to eternal bliss—to the perfectibility of God’s creation.

Science and Health (Christian Science)

All the souls in the world, which are the fruit of the handiwork of the Almighty, are all mystically one, but when they descend to this world they are separated into male and female, though these are still conjoined. When they first issue

World Scripture II V8 013107.ind953 953

953

forth, they issue as male and female together.

Subsequently, when they descend to this world they separate, one to one side and the other to the other. Afterwards God mates them—God and no other, He alone knowing the mate proper to each. Happy is the man who is upright in his works and walks in the way of truth, so that his soul may find his original mate, for then he becomes indeed perfect.

Zohar 1.85b (Judaism)

The sacred partnership of true marriage is constituted both by the will of God and the will of man. From God comes the very institution of marriage, the ends for which it was instituted, the laws that govern it, the blessings that flow from it; while man, through generous surrender of his own person made to another for the whole span of life, becomes, with the help and cooperation of God, the author of each particular marriage, with the duties and blessings annexed hereto from divine institution…

That mutual familiar intercourse between the spouses themselves, if the blessing of conjugal faith is to shine with becoming splendor, must be distinguished by chastity so that husband and wife bear themselves in all things with the law of God and of nature, and endeavor always to follow the will of their most wise and holy Creator with the greatest reverence towards the work of God… The love of which We are speaking is not that based on the passing lust of the moment, nor does it consist in pleasing words only, but in the deep attachment of the heart which is expressed in action, since love is proved by deeds. This outward expression of love in the home demands not only mutual help but must go further; must have as its primary purpose that man and wife help each other day by day in forming and perfecting themselves in the interior life, so that through their partnership in life they may advance ever more and more in virtue, and above all that they may grow in true love towards God and their neighbor.

Pope Pius XI, Casti Connubi (Christianity)

2/1/2007 3:16:33 PM

954

World Scripture and the Teachings of Sun Myung Moon

In the celestial glory there are three heavens or degrees; and in order to obtain the highest, a man must enter into this order of the priesthood (meaning the new and everlasting covenant of marriage); and if he does not, he cannot obtain it.

And again, verily I say unto you, if a man marry a wife by my word, which is my law, and by the new and everlasting covenant, and is sealed

unto them by the Holy Spirit of promise, by him who is anointed, unto whom I have appointed this power and the keys of this priesthood; and it shall be said unto them—Ye shall come forth in the first resurrection… which glory shall be a fullness and a continuation of the seeds forever and ever.16 Doctrine and Covenants 131.1-3, 132.19 (Latter-day Saints)

Teachings of Sun Myung Moon We can solve the fundamental problems of family life by strengthening marriage. Although some religious people regard marriage as sinful, we proclaim it the holiest of states.

God instituted marriage as the only proper way for a man and a woman to love each other.

Furthermore, when a man and a woman become one in marriage, whom do they come to resemble?

They resemble God. Indeed, it is only when a man and woman unite in matrimony that they can fully resemble God, who created us in His image male and female. Only then can God dwell with us. (70:76, February 8, 1974) If you only love as a single person, and do not embark on the path of loving as a husband and wife, your life will end in ruin. Love among single people inevitably breaks apart. It is a lifestyle that damages society and even the world. (111:257, February 22, 1981) Commonly people think that love is what a man and a woman enjoy together. Yet that kind of love has no root in the past or outlook toward the future; it is merely a phenomenon with no direction.

It is selfish love. Selfish love cannot be the source of peace, the basis of unity or the basis for freedom. How can there be peace, unity or freedom where people love each other one day and separate the next? There is no happiness there, only regret; no freedom there, only more obstacles; no unity there, only loneliness. That kind of love leads only to destruction.

I want you to understand that Satan employs such love as a weapon to destroy the ideals of human life. Using this kind of love as a weapon, Satan is robbing us of true freedom, true peace and true unity. From this perspective, the satanic expression of love is truly God’s adversary. It is a most dreadful sin, a most hated enemy. (104:141, April 29, 1979) Why do we marry? It is to resemble God. God is the harmonious being of dual characteristics. Man and woman are the divided manifestations of God’s dual characteristics. They have to unite as one body, becoming like a seed, in order to enter God’s original dwelling place.

To yield good seed, you have to go the way of love. This means that you must be born in love, set love as your goal while growing, make love your aim in life, and walk the path of love. Then you will return to love. (138:99, January 19, 1986) Why do you have to marry? It is because God exists with dual characteristics. A man and a woman each reflect one of these aspects of divinity. Therefore, they must come together and unite to manifest the fullness of God’s image. That is why marriage is the essential condition for your complete growth in the ideal of human love.

World Scripture II V8 013107.ind954 954

2/1/2007 3:16:33 PM

Family

955

Marriage blends men and women into the semblance of the divine unity, so that human beings might fully become the image of God. God created human beings and all things for the purpose of consummating His love. Where do you consummate that love? It is while you live on earth, in the relationship between husband and wife, in the family. That is why your wedding day is the most joyful day in your lives. (123:217, January 2, 1983) We do not marry for ourselves, but for the sake of another. What do I mean in saying that marriage is for the other rather than for ourselves? Heaven and earth abide in a relationship between subject and object.

By this principle, marriage between a man and a woman participates in the joining of heaven and earth.

With the man on the right side and the woman on the left side, their marriage symbolizes the fulfillment of all the horizontal relationships in the universe. Since the man as the subject partner is above, and the woman as the object partner is below, their marriage represents the fulfillment of the vertical relationship between God and human beings. Therefore, marriage is not mainly for the man, nor mainly for the woman. It is rather to accord with heavenly law. This is also the reason why men and women were created differently; they were born to accord with heavenly law. (101:38-39, October 28, 1978) When a man and a woman embrace in perfect love, they bring perfection to the universe. Were their love to shatter, it would shatter the order of the universe and bring chaos to the vertical world.

(118:32, April 26, 1982) Look at this world: The mineral kingdom has positive and negative ions, the plant kingdom has stamen and pistil, and the animal kingdom has male and female. Scientists have found that even germs are male and female. God created all things so that they can become one at their particular level centering on love. Seeing this universe of pairs, we understand that they are that way so that all can be linked to the love of a man and a woman, who come together representing heaven and earth.

Thus all things celebrate the love of human beings.

Just as we lay a foundation before building a house, God created the entire pair system as the foundation for human beings to love. Doesn’t human love have many qualities in common with the love of animals? For instance, if a male and female are going along together and the female is attacked, the male will risk its life to defend the female. When they have offspring, they will risk their lives to defend them. Human love is that way because the foundation on which it was created is that way. (222:123, October 28, 1991) Marriage is the union of all virtues of heaven and earth. Encompassing vertical and horizontal, left and right, and front and back, it is the completion of the whole. Marriage is where we perfect the ideals of children, siblings, husband and wife, and parents. For this reason, had Adam and Eve become a true husband and wife, they would have been the parents most beloved of God. They would have stood in the position of the second creators, inheriting everything that God experienced as the First Creator. Through raising their children, they would have developed the heart of love as God’s representatives. After attaining that heart through direct experience, they would profoundly understand and empathize with their children as they in turn traversed the positions of children, siblings, husbands and wives, and parents.

Their marriage and conjugal love as husband and wife was to be the origin and starting-point of God’s love, life and lineage in human beings. It was to be the starting-point for fulfilling God’s ideal, the Kingdom of God on earth and in heaven.

World Scripture II V8 013107.ind955 955

2/1/2007 3:16:34 PM

956

World Scripture and the Teachings of Sun Myung Moon

God is the root of love, root of life, root of lineage, and the root of the Kingdom of Heaven on earth and in heaven. At the marriage of Adam and Eve, God would enter into their hearts and experience with them the love of their conjugal union. Then God would be the vertical True Parent, and Adam and Eve the horizontal True Parents. Because each of us would be born with the blood and flesh of these two sets of parents, our minds would be aligned with the vertical and our bodies with the horizontal.17 This would form the realm of the harmonious oneness of God and human beings in love.

In that realm, people who perfect their love both in mind and body would become God’s sons and daughters. We would enter into a parent-child relationship with God, become God’s princes and princesses, and inherit the entirety of His world. Then, when we perfect husband-wife unity centering on true love, we would form a family that lives in attendance to God. Our family would be the base of peace and of God’s ideal. As man and woman, each being a half of the whole, we would come together to form one body; and as God’s partners we would perfect the ideal of divine love. (254:106, February 1, 1994) The first union of love between Adam and Eve was to have signified the perfection of God’s own love. It was to have been a continual feast of happiness where God, Adam and Eve, and all creatures in the universe would be intoxicated with joy and blessings. Their marriage would most certainly have been the joyful ceremony to establish the originating point of God’s love, life, and lineage among human beings. This was Adam and Eve’s original destiny. Yet instead they covered their lower parts, hid themselves among the trees, and trembled in fear, because they had formed an immoral relationship that set the origin for false love, false life, and false lineage contrary to the heavenly way. (288:127, November 26, 1997) The issue here is that God’s true love and human beings’ love must start out from the same point and become one as subject and object partners. Otherwise, human love will have different directions and purposes than God’s true love. It then becomes impossible to establish the absolute ideal world that both God and human beings desire.

This purpose of God—to start God’s true love and human true love from the same point—was interrupted and blocked by the Fall. False parents came into being as a result of Satan’s love, and human beings as descendants of those false parents inherited false love, false life, and false lineage.

These false elements take them to hell. (275:55, October 31, 1995) The International Holy Blessing Ceremony is the ceremony of resurrection that enables us to uproot and restore completely all that was defiled in our families because of the Fall, especially the false love, false life and false lineage we received from the false parents… Through the Blessing Ceremony we receive the enormous grace of being engrafted with the seeds of true love, true life and true lineage, by which God and human beings can become one through love. I sincerely hope that all humanity throughout the world will receive this enormous blessing, change to become heavenly families, and be registered in the Kingdom of Heaven on earth. (275:59, October 31, 1995)

❖

World Scripture II V8 013107.ind956 956

2/1/2007 3:16:34 PM

Family

957

Ethics of Married Life LOVE IN MARRIAGE is not unfettered emotion; it survives and thrives through the discipline of married life. The path of marriage holds special challenges to a couple committed to a lifetime together. It serves as a crucible for refining character and a school for perfecting love.

Scriptures spell out some of the traditional ethical rules that have informed marriages through the ages.

They spell out different but complementary roles in the household. Husbands should honor their wives and wives should obey their husbands. Both spouses should be faithful, sharing everything together and never contemplating divorce. While occasionally these traditional roles have been made to justify a double standard, when rightly understood they describe reciprocal and mutual responsibilities. (See Chapter 20: Women’s Rights for a discussion of equality between the sexes in the larger society.) Father Moon teaches that the ideal of marriage is when the spouses live for the sake of each other, the husband respecting his wife as God’s daughter and the wife respecting her husband as God’s son. Love is the ultimate basis of the equality of husband and wife.

1. The Core Ethic of Conjugal Love: Spouses Are Subject to Each Other Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands.

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, the he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. Even so husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no man ever hates his own flesh, but nourishes it and cherishes it, as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is a profound one, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church; however, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Ephesians 5.21-33

World Scripture II V8 013107.ind957 957

You wives, be submissive to your husbands, so that some, though they do not obey the Word, may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, when they see your reverent and chaste behavior…

Likewise you husbands, live considerately with your wives, bestowing honor on the woman as the weaker sex, since you are joint heirs of the grace of life.

1 Peter 3.1-2, 7

The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not rule over her own body, but the husband does; likewise the husband does not rule over his own body, but the wife does.

1 Corinthians 7.3-4

Your wife has rights over you.

Hadith of Bukhari (Islam)

A man is forbidden to compel his wife to her marital duty.

Talmud, Erubin 100b (Judaism)

2/1/2007 3:16:34 PM

958

World Scripture and the Teachings of Sun Myung Moon

Your wives are as a tilth to you: so approach your tilth when or how you will; but do some

good act for your souls beforehand, and fear God. Qur’an 2.223

Teachings of Sun Myung Moon The way of love is to exalt your spouse a thousand times above yourself. God went through a course of absolute obedience to humanity to reach the realm where He could love us as His object partners.

A husband and wife married in God’s love desire to practice just such a high standard of love—the standard of love that God desires from His object partners. Each partner gives the other absolute obedience. Each continually gives and forgets what he or she has given. From that practice, the flower of love blooms between the husband and wife. (288:68-69, October 31, 1997) You who were born as a woman should have the attitude that you will love your husband as God and as the representative of all humanity. Unless you love him more than anyone in the world, you cannot enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Likewise, you men should know that unless you love only one woman, and love her as God and the representative of all humanity, you cannot love God or humanity. (97:321-22, April 1, 1978) A wife who lives with true love attends her husband as God. Moreover, she attends him as she would attend Christ, the Lord. Christ is the King of kings; therefore she attends her husband like a king.

When she rejoices in her husband as if she were beholding the Lord, she is lifted up to the value of God’s partner; and as God’s partner, she would manifest the value of God. Likewise, a husband with true love attends his wife as God, as the Bride of Christ, and as a queen. (March 9, 1978) You should have absolute obedience, absolute sacrifice, and absolute love for God. But before practicing all this for God, first practice it for your wife or for your husband. (97:312, March 26, 1978) What is the most valuable part of the human body? It is the love organ. What is the love organ? It is the reproductive organ. Does your reproductive organ belong to you? No, it belongs to your spouse.

Who decided that? God. It is the way God created heaven and earth.

Everything in creation was created for love. Therefore, no creature has its reproductive organ for its own sake. Each achieves love by offering its reproductive organ to its partner. Connecting with your partner is the only way to complete love. This is the heavenly law.

True love is absolute, unique and unchanging. Do you need true love? Only when you are connected to true love can you become an owner of love who is absolute, unique, unchanging.

What does this mean? It means that a man alone cannot be an owner of true love. He can perfect his love only through connecting with his counterpart, who is the owner of his reproductive organ. A woman can perfect her love only when she connects to true love; this means when she takes ownership of her husband’s reproductive organ, and her husband takes ownership of hers.

(297:156, November 19, 1998) A husband holds the key to his wife’s holy place, and a wife holds the key to her husband’s holy place. No one can enter it without that key, which is conferred by marriage.

World Scripture II V8 013107.ind958 958

2/1/2007 3:16:34 PM

Family

959

Does a man’s sexual organ belong to the man, or to his wife? It was not created for the man, but for the woman. Do you understand? Since the male organ was created for a woman, it belongs to the woman. Therefore, you men cannot use it as you wish. Only your wife can use your organ as she wishes. This is the heavenly law. (130:126, January 1, 1984) When all men and women recognize that their sexual organ belongs to their spouse and not to themselves, they will bow their heads and become humble when they receive their spouse’s love.

Love comes to you only from your partner. If you do not live for the sake of your partner, what you are doing is not love. (279:123, August 1, 1996) There is etiquette between husband and wife. A wife should not just walk about the house naked out of a desire to entice her husband. She should first ask him, “Is it okay if I do this?” Likewise, if his wife is fast asleep, a husband should not wake her up saying, “Honey, come here!” Even in bed the couple should be courteous and respectful of each other. (225:160, January 12, 1992)

❖ 2. Relations between the Sexes: Different Responsibilities but Equality in Love Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because God has given the one more strength than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in the husband’s absence what God would have them guard.

man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.”

Qur’an 4.34

It was right for woman to be made from a rib of man. First, to signify the social union of man and woman, for the woman should neither use authority over man, and so she was not made from his head; nor was it right for her to be subject to man’s contempt as his slave, and so she was not made from his feet.

In the family women’s appropriate place is within; men’s, without. When men and women keep their proper places they act in accord with Heaven’s great norm.

I Ching 37 (Confucianism)

All of you are guardians and are responsible for your wards. The ruler is a guardian; the man is a guardian of his family; the lady is a guardian and is responsible for her husband’s house and his offspring; and so all of you are guardians and are responsible for your wards.

Hadith of Bukhari (Islam)

Genesis 2.21-23

Saint Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologica 1.1.92.3 (Christianity)

Woman is as much the creation of God as man is. If she was made from man, this was to show her oneness with him; and if she was, this was to prefigure the oneness of Christ and the Church.

Saint Augustine, The City of God 22 (Christianity)

So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh; and the rib which the Lord God had taken from the

World Scripture II V8 013107.ind959 959

The husband who wedded her with sacred texts always gives happiness to his wife, both in season or out of season.

2/1/2007 3:16:34 PM

960

World Scripture and the Teachings of Sun Myung Moon

He may be destitute of virtue, or seek his pleasure elsewhere, or devoid of good qualities, yet a faithful wife must constantly revere her husband as a god.

Women need perform no sacrifice, no vow, no fast; if she obeys her husband, she will for that reason alone be exalted in heaven…

She who, controlling her thoughts, words, and deeds, never slights her lord, resides after death with her husband in heaven, and is called a virtuous wife.

Do not abuse your wife. Women are sacred. If you make your wife suffer, you will die in a short time. Our grandmother, Earth, is a woman, and in abusing your wife you are abusing her. By thus abusing our grandmother, who takes care of us, by your action you will be practically killing yourself.

A Winnebago Father’s Precepts (Native American Religions)

Laws of Manu 5.153-65 (Hinduism)

Teachings of Sun Myung Moon The equality of the sexes originates from the relationship of love. Is a woman a match for her husband in physical strength? Can she equal him in jumping? Externally, a man is better than a woman in many respects. Yet a woman is better in expressing love; this makes them equal. There is equality between the sexes—between woman and man—only through love. (209:208, November 29, 1990) Can a woman win over her husband in a fistfight? She cannot. Can she defeat him by using force? If she uses force, she will be defeated every time. However, even force is under the dominion of love.

When a woman embraces her husband with love, he may pull her and push her, but then he lifts her up and they spin round and round.

For example, I can hold True Mother in my arms and spin her round and round. She says, “I’m so dizzy!” but she is happy. Maybe I will kick her playfully, but even as she complains, “Why are you lifting me up and spinning me around?” she is joyful. We pay no attention to the movements of our feet and our bodies as we spin around in the bosom of love; it is pure ecstasy. (137:217, January 3, 1986) When you couples begin your families, it is good if the husband leads a public life and the wife is in charge of the home.18 (Blessing and Ideal Family 7.3.3) A wife should be obedient and supportive of her husband. Of course, for this to work, the husband should fulfill his responsibility [toward her]. (Blessing and Ideal Family 7.1.6) Wives, do you resent your loving husband for being in a higher position than you? Husbands, do some of you dislike your beloved wife because she is better than you? The two of you are one. One! Once you become one, you can freely go wherever you want: you can come up from below, come down from above, or stay in the middle. There are no obstacles. (91:141, February 6, 1977) In your family, do you respect your father but regard your mother as insignificant? Do you celebrate your father’s birthday magnificently but do not even remember your mother’s birthday? Even nonbelievers know that the relationship between husband and wife should be harmonious like heaven and earth.

World Scripture II V8 013107.ind960 960

2/1/2007 3:16:35 PM

Family

961

Harmony arises when opposites come together. There is harmony among your eyes, nose, ears and lips because opposites come together. Likewise, only when a father and mother come together can they embrace everything in the world. The father alone cannot do it; it is impossible.

These days the world puts the man first. Therefore we must promote a movement for women’s liberation, one that deals with the fundamental issue. In the Principle perspective, the husband should obey his wife for the first three years of marriage. That is the proper course of restoration. Since Adam and Eve fell together, they must climb up together through a path of re-creation. (21:194, November 20, 1968)

❖ 3. The Good and the Bad in Husbands and Wives A good wife who can find?

She is far more precious than jewels.

The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.

She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.

She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands.

She is like the ships of the merchant, she brings her food from afar.

She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and tasks for her maidens.

She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.

She girds her loins with strength and makes her arms strong.

She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.

Her lamp does not go out at night.

She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle…

She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.

Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her, “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.”

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.

Proverbs 31.10-31

World Scripture II V8 013107.ind961 961

Socrates’ wife Xanthippe would first abuse him and then throw water at him. He once joked, “Did I not say that Xanthippe was thundering now, and would soon rain?” When Alcibiades said to him, “The abusive temper of Xanthippe is intolerable,” he replied, “But I am used to it, just as I should be if I were always hearing the noise of a pulley, and you yourself endure to hear geese cackling.” To which Alcibiades answered, “Yes, but they bring me eggs and goslings.”

“Well,” rejoined Socrates, “and Xanthippe brings me children.” Once, she attacked him in the market-place and tore his cloak off; his friends advised him to fight her off with his hands. “Yes?” said he, “And while we are boxing, you may all cry out, ‘Well done, Socrates!

Well done, Xanthippe!’?” Socrates used to say, “A man ought to live with a restive woman. A horseman who can handle violent-tempered horses is easily able to handle all the others.

Likewise, after handling Xanthippe, I can live easily with anyone.”

Socrates (Hellenism)

Sujata, the young wife of an eldest son of a rich merchant, Anathapindika, was arrogant, did not respect others and did not listen to the instruction of her husband and his parents. Consequently, some discord arose in the family. One day the Blessed One came to visit Anathapindika and noticed this state of affairs.

He called the young wife, Sujata, to Him and spoke to her kindly, saying, “Sujata, there are seven types of wives:

2/1/2007 3:16:35 PM

962

World Scripture and the Teachings of Sun Myung Moon

A wife who is pitiless, corrupt in mind, Neglecting husband and unamiable, Inflamed by other men, a prostitute bent on murder, Call that wife a slayer!

A wife who would rob her husband of his gains— Though little be the profit that he makes, Whether by craftsmanship, or from his trade, or by the plough— Call that wife a robber!

The slothful glutton, bent on doing nothing, A gossip and a shrew with strident voice, Who brings to low account her husband’s zeal and industry— Call that wife a master!

Who with loving sympathy, Just as a mother for her only son, For husband cares, and over his stored-up wealth keeps watch and ward— Call that wife a mother!

Who holds her husband in the same regard As younger sister holds the elder born, The meek in heart, who in his every wish her husband serves— Call that wife a sister!

And she who is as glad her lord to see As boon companions long apart to meet, A gracious character of gentle birth, a fond helpmate— Call that wife a friend!

If fearless of the lash and stick, unmoved, All things enduring, calm, and pure in heart,

She bear obedience to her husband’s word, from anger free— Call that wife a handmaid!

Now she who’s called: a mistress, slayer, thief, Who’s harsh, immoral, lacking in respect, when death comes— Will wander in the miseries of hell.

But mother, sister or companion, slave, In precept long established and restrained, when death comes— Will wander in the happy heaven world.

These, Sujata, are the seven kinds of wives a man may have; and which of them are you?”

“Lord,” said Sujata, “let the Exalted One think of me as a handmaid from this day forth.”

Anguttara Nikaya 4.91, Sujata Sutta (Buddhism)

If you marry a man and you want to be certain of always retaining him, work for him. With work you will always be able to retain your hold on men. If you do your work to the satisfaction of your husband, he will never leave you.

Remain faithful to your husband. Do not act as though you are married to a number of men at the same time. Lead a chaste life. If you do not listen to what I am telling you and you are unfaithful to your husband, all the men will jeer at you. They will say whatever they wish [and no one will interfere].

Do not act haughty to your husband.

Whatever he tells you to do, do it. Kindness will be returned to you if you obey your husband, for he will treat you in the same manner.

A Winnebago Elder’s Instructions (Native American Religions)

Teachings of Sun Myung Moon What is the problem with families today? Isn’t it that both the husband and wife are insisting, “Live for my sake” and “You must love only me”? Such a selfish attitude is the characteristic of Satan, so God will leave such a family. Once Satan enters a family, it breaks down. The parents raise the children, insisting, “You must live for us.” The children tell their parents, “Father, mother, live for me.” They each want the other to live for their sake, so the family breaks apart. (69:87, October 20, 1973)

World Scripture II V8 013107.ind962 962

2/1/2007 3:16:35 PM

Family

963

Wives often lie to their husbands, and husbands to their wives, in order to hide things from each other. Each tries to possess a realm over which they have sole control. If your family is like this, you are still connected with Satan’s world. (396:257, November 10, 2002) When a wife suggests to her husband, “Please do this,” he answers, “Yes.” When the husband suggests to his wife, “Please do this,” she answers, “Yes.” Is it right when a husband and wife obey each other like that?… Should the central point of a marriage be the husband, the wife, or their love? It should be love. (91:220, February 20, 1977) It is not easy being a husband. Although you come home tired from work, you still have responsibilities toward your wife. Although your work was full of difficulties and aggravations, you still have responsibilities toward your wife. The greater the difficulties, the greater are your responsibilities toward your wife. The fact that you are tired is no excuse.

The same is true for you wives. It does not matter whether you like your husband or do not like your husband; you still have responsibilities toward him. The basic rule is joint responsibility.

Your spouse stands before you as God’s representative on earth. He or she is in a unique position as God’s representative, more than any other person in the nation or any other person on earth. Husbands and wives who have thoughts other than this while they live on earth will go to a fearful hell.

Likewise, as parents, you have to be careful that you never cause your children to say, “Our mother and father are always fighting.” If your children see you like that, then regardless of how well you do otherwise, you will end up in hell. Rather, you should act in such a way that your children say, “Our father represents God. He is God in our home. Our father is our home’s president. Our father is our home’s saint.” They should say the same things about their mother. The sages of old had a saying, “All is well when there is harmony at home.” In the Unification Church, we go a step further and call for “harmony with Heaven.” We must create harmony with Heaven everywhere in the cosmos. (101:41-42, October 28, 1978) A woman who sometimes gets hysterical, crying, “Eeek!” needs a mate who can comprehend her ways. When she gets upset at her husband, calling, “John!” he should calmly reply, “Oh, yes?” He should not snap back at her, “What do you want now?” Instead he should take his time, slowly turn to face her, and say, “Yessss?” [making a face].

The rockiest and steepest mountain has the loudest and strongest echo. When you shout at it, “Bee!” the mountain answers with a resounding “Boo-oom.” A husband should give that kind of echo to his wife. When his wife nags him, “Ng, ng, ng,” he responds, “umm, umm, ummmm.” A true man has such a nature, something that is mysterious to his wife. He should be different from her and not just react to whatever she says. (118:225-26, June 6, 1982) When a husband and wife have separate bank accounts and say, “This is my money and that is your money,” is that perfect love? Perfect love goes beyond this and says, “My money is as much yours as it is mine.”

Would you want to set preconditions on your partner before you get married, or would you ask only for love? Does a person who requires his or her partner to sign a prenuptial agreement really trying to love or just pretending to love? Perhaps he or she is using love.

That is not our way; we should live for love. Marriage means gathering together all your power, knowledge, money, and yourself, and putting everything in one package to present to your husband, asking only for his love in return. (92:192, April 10, 1977)

World Scripture II V8 013107.ind963 963

2/1/2007 3:16:35 PM

964

World Scripture and the Teachings of Sun Myung Moon

When a true husband or true wife encounters difficulties, he or she does not weep and complain, “Because of that terrible husband…” or “because of that terrible wife, I am ruined.” Instead, they weep repentant tears, saying, “Because I was lacking in devotion, I could not make my husband happy,” or “I could not make my wife happy.” The husband and wife who live together in this manner are a true husband and a true wife. (204:41, June 29, 1990) Who is a true wife? A true wife determines that she was born for her husband, lives for him and would die for him. Only in that place, can she be a true wife.

Who is a true husband? A true husband determines that he was born for his wife, lives for her and would die for her. The ideal of God’s creation lies in this, though most people don’t realize it.

As we practice this, we come to understand the principle: We exist to live for the sake of others.

Only by living in this manner can we find true love. Since God set up this principle, it is the only path for humans to find happiness and hope. (77:293, April 25, 1975)

❖ 4. Divorce is Hateful to God; Spouses Should Be Faithful ‘Till Death and Beyond The lawful thing which God hates most is divorce.19 Hadith of Abu Dawud (Islam)

Some Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?” He answered, “Have you not read that he who made them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one. What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder.” They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?” He said to them, “For your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for unchastity, and marries another, commits adultery.”

Matthew 19.3-9

The Lord is the witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. Has not the Lord made them one? In flesh and spirit they

World Scripture II V8 013107.ind964 964

are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth. For I hate divorce, says the Lord God of Israel.

Malachi 2.14-16

God has indeed heard (and accepted) the statement of the woman who pleads with you concerning her husband and carries her complaint to God; and God hears the arguments between both sides among you. Surely God is Hearing, Seeing.

If any men among you divorce their wives by zihar, calling them their mothers, they are not their mothers; none can be their mothers except those who gave them birth. They utter words iniquitous and false.20 Qur’an 58.1-2

The husband receives his wife from the gods; he does not wed her according to his own will; doing what is agreeable to the gods, he must always support her while she is faithful.

“Let mutual fidelity continue until death”; this may be considered as a summary of the highest law for husband and wife.21 Laws of Manu 9.95, 9.101 (Hinduism)

2/1/2007 3:16:35 PM

Family

They continue by legislation to attack the indissolubility of the marriage bond, proclaiming that the lawfulness of divorce must be recognized, and that the antiquated laws should give place to a new and more humane legislation.

Many and varied are the grounds put forward for divorce, some arising from the wickedness and the guilt of the persons concerned, others arising from the circumstances of the case… in a word, whatever might make married life hard or unpleasant… Opposed to all these reckless opinions stands the unalterable law of God, fully confirmed by Christ, a law that can never be deprived of its force by the decrees of men, the ideas of a people or the will of any legislator: “What God hath joined together, let no man put asunder.”

Pope Pius XI, Casti Connubi (Christianity)

It floats about, that boat of cypress wood, There in the middle of the Ho. With his two tufts of hair falling over his forehead,

965

He was my mate; And I swear that till death I will have no other.

O mother, O Heaven, Why will you not understand me?

It floats about, that boat of cypress wood, There by the side of the Ho. With his two tufts of hair falling over his forehead, He was my only one; And I swear that till death I will not do the evil thing.

O mother, O Heaven, Why will you not understand me?22 Book of Songs, Ode 45 (Confucianism)

A virtuous wife who, after the death of her husband, constantly remains chaste even though she have no son, will reach heaven just as do men living a life of renunciation.

Laws of Manu 5.160 (Hinduism)

Teachings of Sun Myung Moon When man and woman became husband and wife, their relationship should be eternal. If the beginning was good, the end also should be good. It should remain constant. If you were happy in the beginning, you should be happy at the end. (86:109, March 14, 1976) Children who grow up in a loving home become anxious and distressed if hear that their parents want to divorce. Good children will claim, “I am your child, the union of both of you. You should make any kind of compromise for me. Please be the great parents I know you are. I need you.” We should teach young people that this claim is just: their parents have no right to divorce due to their parental responsibility for their children.

Because of their love for their children, parents do not have any right to even contemplate divorce. Young people in this country should assert their rights and launch an anti-divorce movement. (October 23, 1977)23 Young people: do not think that if you do not like their spouse you can choose to divorce her. The universe is not made that way. If you value yourself, you should value love just as much. Therefore once you are bound together as husband and wife, you have to maintain that relationship for eternity. All human beings are destined to walk this path. That is where the value of a human being lies.

(117:292, April 11, 1982)

World Scripture II V8 013107.ind965 965

2/1/2007 3:16:35 PM

966

World Scripture and the Teachings of Sun Myung Moon

God is the absolute being. God is one, not two. Adam and Eve had the characteristics of God, so they were also absolute beings. Adam was created with God’s male characteristics, and Eve was created with God’s female characteristics—these characteristics are absolute. The love that can unite the inner [male] and outer [female] characteristics is absolute love; even God obeys it absolutely.

Therefore love regards each husband and wife as the one and only couple in the universe. They are absolute, eternal and unchanging. Yet because couples do not understand this principle, they divorce. As long as you maintain your foundation in this principle, you can never divorce. (226:171, February 4, 1992) Why do a husband and wife fight? They fight because they each want to receive love. Couples who only want to receive love will not last. A family whose members only want to receive love will fall apart. But a family whose members are determined to give love to each other will not break down.

It will survive, even if others wish it ill. Love that prompts us to live for each other is eternal love.

(36:76, November 15, 1970) If a wife is boastful and despises her husband, she puts herself in hell. What is hell? It is the universe’s trash can [for people who lack love]. However, even if a wife is on the verge of plunging into the deepest hell, if she has a righteous husband who holds on to her hand, saying, “I will stay with you, no matter what,” then she will not go to hell. The same is true when a wife does that for her husband. This is the gospel of all gospels. (161:324, March 8, 1987) When a bride-to-be or husband-to-be is asked, “How long will you love your spouse?” If he or she answers, “As long as my spouse is young,” would their partner be happy with that? Rather, the answer should be, “I will love my spouse until death, and further, for eternity.” Eternity encompasses the future and beyond.

When you say that you will love your spouse until your death, it means that you will love and give everything you have to him. Am I right? The term, “eternity” covers all, and “until death” means to love everything about your spouse. We can be satisfied with nothing less. (37:24, December 22, 1970)

❖ 5. The Trouble with Polygamy The possession of many wives undermines a man’s moral nature.

Srimad Bhagavatam 11.3 (Hinduism)

You will not be able to deal equally between your wives, however much you wish to do so.24 Qur’an 4.129

Whoever has many wives will have troubles in surfeit.

He will be deceitful, he will lie, he will betray to have them together; It is not certain that he can have peace to pray well.

Yoruba Poem (African Traditional Religions)

Teachings of Sun Myung Moon When a woman marries a man, should she have relationships with only one man, or with hundreds?

There must be only one man in her life. Why only one? It is for true love. In order to achieve absolute true love, we marry only one person. (122:234, November 14, 1982)

World Scripture II V8 013107.ind966 966

2/1/2007 3:16:36 PM

Family

967

There is only one person in the universe whom you are meant to marry. Therefore, consider that you and your spouse are the only two people in the universe. You should abide in that first love, which only one man and one woman can share. Then God will abide with you. (265:251, November 23, 1994)

❖

Parental Love BEING A PARENT CALLS FORTH THE NOBLEST and most unselfish emotions in ordinary people. Rare is the parent who would not sacrifice his or her life for the sake of their child. Having children is a life-altering experience, calling forth moral strength to end destructive lifestyles and become responsible role models to their children.

Parenting challenges people as nothing else to be sacrificial, patient, forgiving—in short, to develop a love that more closely resembles the love of God. Parental love is the highest stage in the family school of love. To enter into that stage, couples have a duty to have children; it is a duty to love and to their own perfection. Furthermore, parents are responsible to educate their children in the most basic matters of life—what Father Moon calls education in heart and norm.

This education has three aspects, each treated in turn: moral instruction, discipline, and setting an example.

Scriptural wisdom regards discipline to be an essential duty of parents, when done out of love and concern for their proper growth. Failure to discipline children, on the other hand, is a form of abuse, because it leads to rotten character. A parent’s example in particular concerns the parents’ example of faith and devotion to God; it is key to the children developing their own faith. Next, parents are guardians, protecting their children from harm.

Anyone who has had a teenage daughter knows of the sleepless nights spent worried about her and thinking about how to keep her safe. The final group of passages speaks about the heart of parents to unconditionally love their children, forgiving them when they fall short and wanting the very best for them.

1. The Essential Value of Children God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth.”

Children are the clothes of a man.25 Yoruba Proverb (African Traditional Religions)

Genesis 1.28

He who refrains from procreation is as though he impaired the divine image.

Genesis Rabbah 34.14 (Judaism)

Lo, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward…

Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them!

The whole future of the race depends upon its attitude toward children; and a race which specializes in women for “menial purposes” or which believes that the contest of the sexes in the spheres of business and politics is a worthier endeavor than the creation of tomorrow’s generation, is a race which is dying.

L. Ron Hubbard, Science of Survival (Scientology)

Psalm 127.3-5

Teachings of Sun Myung Moon Once we marry, we should have children. Some may think that it does not matter whether or not we bear children. But that is not the case. Unless we bear children, we cannot fulfill the will of love.

World Scripture II V8 013107.ind967 967

2/1/2007 3:16:36 PM

968

World Scripture and the Teachings of Sun Myung Moon

There are four directions of love: east, west, north and south, around the center. When love is centered, its root can spread in all four directions and support the tree. (214:12, February 1, 1991) Why do we need children? It is to know God’s love, His love as our Parent. We need children to know how to attend [God] as our Parent… So we should not only give orders to our children, we should attend them and live for them [as God lives for us]. Only then can we comprehend God’s love.

We need our children as a textbook. Without children, we are incomplete. We cannot know God’s love because we cannot know how much God loves human beings, His children. Just as we cannot know the love of a husband or wife unless we become a husband or a wife, we cannot know parental love for children until we become parents. God created us so that we can learn to love by relating with each other. Hence if we do not have children, we cannot become true parents.

(133:138-39, July 10, 1984) Mothers and fathers cannot achieve unity without children. Why do parents prefer their children’s love? They cannot help it. Mother and father love each other as they love their children together, not just individually. It forms a rope of love that binds mother and father into one. A chain made of iron will eventually rust and break, but the rope of love lasts forever. Neither money nor food can bind parents and children. Only love can bind them. (18:329, August 13, 1967) What is marriage for? It is to establish a family with children. If you do not have children, your relationship may begin to deteriorate. Only after giving birth to children can your family be secure. Even if a husband might want to divorce his wife out of resentment, if his wife gives him a son, he cannot easily divorce. He feels committed to keep his family intact. For the sake of our families, we should have children. (23:25, May 11, 1969) You should love your children more than you love your spouse. (130:163, January 8, 1984) If you women are asked, “Who do you like better, your husband or your children?” the correct answer should be, “My children.” You can divorce your husband, but you cannot separate from your children. Even if you were to disown them and have their names removed from the record of your family tree, you would still be connected to them in lineage. After divorcing your husband, you might forget him. Yet if you were separated from your children, as time goes by you would miss them more and more. Anyone who has children can understand this. (18:112, May 28, 1967) Parents want their children to be better than themselves. No parent wants his children to be inferior to him. A good-looking man and a beautiful woman married each other and bore a homely child. Yet if you say to them, “Your child is better looking than you are,” they are happy. It is true. No parent would take offense at that statement. (77:102, April 1, 1975) True Mother26 gave birth to thirteen children. She once remarked, “Nothing in the world has given me more pleasure than giving birth to my babies and nursing them at my breast. Now that I have grown old, I look back on those times as the most pleasurable of my life.” (44:199, May 7, 1971)

World Scripture II V8 013107.ind968 968

2/1/2007 3:16:36 PM

Family

969

There is no multiplication in the spirit world. The multiplication of children happens only on earth. The earth is the only place where the citizens of the Heavenly Kingdom can be multiplied.

That is why on earth, you should give birth to many children, centering on God’s true love.

(218:200, July 28, 1991)

❖ 2. Raising Children with Firmness and Love Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.

Proverbs 22.6

of the son. If he does wrong, they give kindly advice and lead the boy that he does not do evil any more.

Mahaparinirvana Sutra 471 (Buddhism)

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Ephesians 6.4

As the child, according to its natural disposition, commits thousands of faults, the father instructs and slights, but again hugs him to his bosom.

He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.

Adi Granth, Sorath, M.5 (Sikhism)

Proverbs 13.24

[The prodigal son] arose and came to his father. But while he was yet at a distance, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. And the son said to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you; I am no longer worthy to be called your son.” But the father said to his servants, “Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet; and bring the fatted calf and kill it, and let us eat and make merry; for this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.”

You can only coil a fish when it is fresh.27 Nupe Proverb (African Traditional Religions)

What son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Besides this, we have had earthly fathers to discipline us and we respected them… For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant; later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

Luke 15.20-24

Hebrews 12.7-11

A child picks up earth, dirty things, tiles, stones, old bones, pieces of wood and puts them into his mouth, at which the father and mother, apprehensive of the harms that might arise thereby, take the child with the left hand and with the right take these out…

For the father and mother of an only son, in sleep or while awake, or while walking, standing, sitting or reclining, their minds always think

World Scripture II V8 013107.ind969 969

A daughter keeps her father secretly wakeful, and worry over her robs him of sleep; when she is young, lest she do not marry, or if married, lest she be hated; while a virgin, lest she be defiled or become pregnant in her father’s house; or having a husband, lest she prove unfaithful, or, though married, lest she be barren.

Ecclesiasticus 42.9-10 (Christianity)

2/1/2007 3:16:36 PM

970

World Scripture and the Teachings of Sun Myung Moon

Teachings of Sun Myung Moon Children do not like it if you criticize them repeatedly. Rather, they are happy if you accept and praise them even when they do wrong. Immature children need to be appeased in this way, to encourage them with praise. Nevertheless, children are self-centered. When they see something they like, they want to have it right away. Therefore, they need education. (36:73, November 15, 1970) Sometimes parents push their children hard, and even spank them on occasion, but it is for their sake. Then after pushing them like that, the father and mother pray for their children in tears, unable to sleep at night. That is true love. (102:253-54, January 14, 1979) Do you know what true parental love is? A true parent never thinks, “Now I am investing in my children’s future, but someday I will receive it all back with interest.” Parental love is to sacrifice day and night in loving their children, giving and giving more without ceasing. Thus, a mother keeps her children in mind even when she goes to the market, thinking that she would like to buy something more for them. That sort of parental love is close to the original love that God implanted in us.

Because love has this origin, there is a basis to save humankind. (142:35, March 3, 1986) Parents want to give their child the most valuable thing they own. Nevertheless, as long as the child is unable to manage it properly, they cannot give it. Were they to receive it when they were not ready, it could harm them. For example, a sharp knife is dangerous for a child, and no parent lets his child play with one, no matter how much he wants it. (29:108, February 25, 1970) There is a Korean proverb, “Give a piece of cake to a person you hate, but a spank to the one you love.” It makes sense. When our parents scold us, we need to understand their loving heart, and when they hit us with a rod, we need to feel the pain they are going through and shed tears with them. Then we can inherit the proper tradition to continue in the next generation. (95:81, October 23, 1977) Parents who raise their fists and strike their children in anger should immediately repent. The mother who does not hit her children, but rather sheds tears of compassion and love, is a more effective parent. The mother who disciplines this way will never be dominated by her children. She will always be successful at inducing her children to submit to her guidance. Were she to hit them, she would get poorer results. (41:332, February 18, 1971) You and your spouse should never fight in front of your children. Never. Promise that you will never do it. This is the case in my own family. Because my wife and I have kept that promise, our children grew up secure in the belief that their parents never quarrel and love each other more than any other parents in the world. Thus you should educate your children, that they can regard their parents as their source of hope… If you have a son, he should say, “I want to become like my Dad.” Your daughter should say, “I want to become like my Mom.” That is the right way to educate them.

(90:123, October 21, 1976) Parents can give a general direction to their children and let them solve the detailed problems by themselves. I was a self-supporting student. Tigers let their cubs experience severe trials and harsh discipline in order to rear them to be the kings of the mountain by developing their wild

World Scripture II V8 013107.ind970 970

2/1/2007 3:16:36 PM

Family

971

nature. Iron gets stronger by heating. This is an important lesson to think about when educating children. (Blessing and Ideal Family 7.5.5) No matter how painful a situation your children put you through, when they come to you with tears in their eyes and ask your forgiveness, you must forget all the bad memories and once again put on a happy face. (23:182, May 18, 1969) What is the essence of love? It is living for others. It is giving what we have to others. Where does love originate? It originates from God. Since God is the Subject of absolute love, He desires to give.

That is the essence of His love. When viewed from this perspective, parental love is the closest to the essence of love.

Parental love always strives to give. Although a child turns to wickedness and refuses to listen to his parents, if the parents continue to love him even more than before, the child will repent.

Were the parent to reproach the child, saying, “You still don’t recognize my love for you, even though I have invested so much for you that my back is bent!” and strike him with a stick, after three times the child would pack and run away. However, if the parent weeps in front of the child, saying, “Your problems are all because I could not love you enough. It is my fault for not loving you more,” and showers him with still more love, the child’s heart will melt and he will return to the parent. A greater love has the subjective ability to embrace and digest a lesser love. (48:182-83, September 12, 1971) According to spiritual law, the worst crime is for a parent to neglect or abuse his or her children, driving them into the dungeons of hell. There is no forgiveness for such acts… God could never treat His children that way, so He cannot forgive those who do.

On the other hand, God is moved to see parents who are willing and ready to die for their children. He will say, “You resemble Me; that is the way I have been living, sacrificing everything for My children.” Thus, parents who would die for their children can enter heaven.

(93:335, June 17, 1977)

❖ 3. Educating Children in Their Parents’ Tradition The Lord said, “Shall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do, seeing that Abraham shall become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth shall bless themselves by him? No, for I have chosen him, that he may charge his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and justice; so that the Lord may bring to Abraham what he has promised him.”

worship and enjoin kindness and forbid iniquity, and persevere, whatever may befall you. Lo! That is the steadfast heart of things.”

Qur’an 31.17

What any man should provide for his children as a legacy is learning. Other things are not real wealth.

Naladiyar 134 (Jainism)

Genesis 18.17-20

And remember when Luqman said to his son by way of instruction, “O my dear son! Establish

World Scripture II V8 013107.ind971 971

You shall therefore lay up these words of mine in your heart and in your soul; and you shall bind them as a sign upon your hand, and they shall

2/1/2007 3:16:37 PM

972

World Scripture and the Teachings of Sun Myung Moon

be as frontlets between your eyes. And you shall teach them to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.

Deuteronomy 11.18-19

My son, keep your father’s commandment, and forsake not your mother’s teaching.

Bind them upon your heart always; tie them about your neck.

When you walk, they will lead you; when you lie down, they will watch over you; and when you awake, they will talk with you.

For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching a light, and the reproofs of discipline are the way of life.

Proverbs 6.20-23

One should not promise a child to give him something and then not give it to him, because he will thereby teach the child to tell lies.

Talmud, Sukkah 46b (Judaism)

I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you.

2 Timothy 1.5

Teachings of Sun Myung Moon Bequeath to your children a good tradition that they will continue to follow throughout their lives.

(71:19, March 24, 1974) Parents usually tell their children, “You should become this or that kind of person, and you should do this or that kind of work.” But it is far better to tell them, “You should be a person who knows God.” (11:308, March 5, 1962) The family is the school of love; it is the most important school in life. The family is where children cultivate the depth and breadth of their heart (shimjung) by receiving an education in love and emotion that only parents can provide. This becomes the foundation stone for building the children’s character. The family is also the school teaching virtues, norms and manners. It is the way of Heaven that academic education, physical education and technical education should be given on the foundation of this primary education of heart and norm.

Parents should be true parents, showering their children with true love. At the same time they should also be true teachers, properly educating their children in heart and moral norms. Though some parents may not be aware their role as teachers, their children still learn from them by imitation.

The role of parents is that important. Children develop their character of love and their spiritual nature when they are nurtured by their parents’ true love and when they emulate their parents’ lives of love. (271:80-81, August 22, 1995) A father should be his child’s best friend. When he comes home, his child should run to him, even if he was playing with a friend. A father should become his child’s best teacher. And he should be the center of heart. (57:282, June 4, 1972) As parents you should set the right example by your devoted service to God’s Will, and in your daily life of faith and service… By doing so, you are raising children who will respect their parents and not talk back to them, and who will honor their parents by obeying whatever you ask them to do. (31:268, June 4, 1970)

World Scripture II V8 013107.ind972 972

2/1/2007 3:16:37 PM

Family

973

Even a father who lives a life of crime does not tell his children, “I am a robber and a murderer, and you should follow in my footsteps.” No, however evil they may be, parents do not teach their children to be evil. When parents say to their children, “At least you should not be bad,” it implies that they themselves were bad; when they say, “At least you should do well,” it means they themselves did not do well.

It is right that parents invest everything completely for their children; that way they can leave a legacy behind. This is an age-old principle of education. It would be even better if the parents left such an excellent legacy that it should be bequeathed to the society and to the world. If parents act like that, no one will say they are bad parents.

A while ago, I read that some parents left their children in an orphanage to travel around the world. That kind of neglect causes children to become bad. If the parents are always with their children, watching over them and correcting them, they will not become bad. (36:73, November 15, 1970) Do you want to be blessed? Do you want to live eternally? Then, you should become a public person.

When educating your children, do not love them only as your own children. Love them with the heart to offer them for the people of the world. When nursing your child in your bosom, consider yourself the representative of all mothers on this planet earth, and regard your baby as the representative of all humankind. Do not nurse your baby with the heart to love only your child. Rather, be a mother who loves other babies as if they were also yours. Babies nourished with the milk of such a mother will definitely become great people. And if your children do not attain such greatness, it will be a descendant one or two generations later who turns out to be someone who can lead the world.

This is a formula. (31:168, 700524) When you die, there are three things you should leave behind: First, that you lived by the path of the Principle, following God’s Will. Second, that you raised good offspring. Third, that you imparted education to your children that will enable them to achieve greatness in the world. (101:200, October 30, 1978)

❖

The Love of Grandparents GRANDPARENTS GRACE A FAMILY WITH WISDOM, experience, and delightful love for their grandchildren. In traditional cultures where three generations live under one roof, children honor their grandparents and care for them in their infirmity as a part of daily life, learning lessons of love and respect in the process. Grandparents are moral anchors. There are too many cases where parents are corrupted by drugs or crime and rendered unfit to care for their children; then the grandparents step in to the breach to take over the parenting role. Father Moon decries the loss of the three-generation family in urbanized, industrialized society as contributing to selfishness and a coarsening of morality.

In many traditions, the honor given parents and grandparents is linked to the honor given the ancestors and the gods in one vertical chain of devotion. In this light, Father Moon speaks of grandparents as representatives of God in the home. Honoring them is a way of honoring God, the greatest Grandparent of all.

World Scripture II V8 013107.ind973 973

2/1/2007 3:16:37 PM

974

World Scripture and the Teachings of Sun Myung Moon

You shall rise up before the hoary head, and honor the face of an old man, and you shall fear your God: I am the Lord.

Leviticus 19.32

The feeling of grandparents for their grandchildren can be expressed this way: “Our children are dear to us; but when we have grandchildren, they seem to be dearer than our children were.”

You might say that the grandmother falls all over herself to try to show her appreciation for her grandchild. It goes right back to those wishes that were made for them when they were little girls: the wish that they would live to become grandmothers someday. So when the time comes and they reach grandmotherhood, they do extra little duties to show their appreciation.

Henry Old Coyote (Native American Religion)

Do not neglect the sacrificial works due to the gods and the fathers! Let your mother be to you like unto a god! Let your father be to you like unto a god! Let your teacher be to you like unto a god! Let your guest be to you like unto a god!

Father and mother Are gods of the family; Even so, honor them as gods with Heartfelt service, All of you of human birth.

Norinaga Motoori, One Hundred Poems on the Jeweled Spear (Shinto)

O son, help your father in his old age, and do not grieve him as long as he lives; even if his mind fails, be considerate with him; in all your strength do not despise him.

For a kindness to a father will not be forgotten, and against your sins it will be credited to you.

Ecclesiasticus 3.12-14 (Christianity)

My father sent for me; I saw he was dying. I buried him in that beautiful valley of winding waters. I love that land more than all the rest of the world. A man who would not love his father’s grave is worse than a wild animal.

Nez Perce Tradition (Native American Religions)

Taittiriya Upanishad 1.11.2 (Hinduism)

Teachings of Sun Myung Moon As children, you are destined to inherit the fortune of your grandparents and parents. Why do you need grandparents? They represent the past—they embody the living history of the past. Parents represent the present age and children represent the future. Thus, the family connects the past, present and future, as well as East, West, North and South. Grandparents, parents, children and God—the center of them all is true love. Think about whether it is this way in your family. By loving and respecting your grandfather and grandmother, you inherit everything from the past and learn from the past. From your father and mother you learn about the present. By loving and cherishing your children, you learn about the future… The three-generation family is like the entire universe.

It is like a textbook to learn how to love the universe. Hence, if there isn’t a grandmother or a grandfather in your family, you may feel insecure. (162:140, April 5, 1987) [In a traditional family] the grandfather and grandmother, the bride’s mother-in-law, father-inlaw, and sister-in-law, and the grandchildren should all live together. What is the center? God. Centering on God, three generations are settled—formation, growth and completion. Hence, children need to know how to love not just their father and mother, but also their grandfather and grandmother. They should honor their grandfather and grandmother with a higher status than their father and mother. Loving them is the way for the children to love God. (128:18, May 29, 1983)

World Scripture II V8 013107.ind974 974

2/1/2007 3:16:37 PM

Family

975

Grandparents represent God in heaven; their position is like Heaven. As the elders in the family, our grandparents bring Heaven to us. That is why you need to attend them as the representatives of God. Think of them as representatives of the King of Heaven and serve them as you would serve God. This teaching is one of the traditions of the ideal family. (251:219, October 17, 1993) If the husband and wife fight, the grandfather and grandmother will say, “Now, now. Don’t do that!”

When the children fight or the grandchildren fight, they say, “Now, now. Don’t do that!” In this way, with love, they play the role of a servant. They live for the sake of the other members of the family, telling each of them, “You are in a high position. You are wonderful.” Grandparents play the role of the servant of love to the greatest extent… The greatest, most amazing and most powerful person in the universe is the person who walks the way of the servant of love. (135:121-22, October 4, 1985) It is wonderful when a daughter-in-law loves her grandmother and grandfather so much that she always buys better things for them than for her husband. She may be good-looking, and the old grandfather and grandmother may be all wrinkled, yet whenever she goes shopping she looks to buy something for them, something finer than what she buys for her husband, and she does it with a more joyful heart. What a wonderful scene! If she does that, then the grandfather and grandmother will give her everything they had hidden away—everything having to do with love.

Who is the oldest being in the world? It is God. Therefore, you learn from loving your grandfather how to love God and live for His sake. When you learn this tradition, you can receive all the treasures of love stored in Grandfather God’s secret warehouse. It is wonderful! (107:329, June 8, 1980) It is true that many grandchildren and daughters-in-law hate to see the cane their grandfather carries about.28 Perhaps they wish the grandfather an early death? Rather, good grandchildren and daughters-in-law who have loving hearts would think, “Oh God, when the cane disappears someday, I will be drenched in tears.” (184:270, January 1, 1989) If the people of a nation hold the elderly in contempt, eventually that nation will lose its national character. A person who doesn’t like old people is selling out the character and tradition of his nation. (21:120, November 17, 1968)

❖

World Scripture II V8 013107.ind975 975

2/1/2007 3:16:37 PM

World Scripture II V8 013107.ind976 976

2/1/2007 3:16:37 PM