Progress 2019 Family & Home

Family &

Progress Home SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 23, 2019 • ALBERT LEA TRIBUNE

Erika Bute finished her last season of playing Alden-Conger varsity volleyball in the fall. She has played on the varsity team — which is coached by her mother, Jolene — since she was in seventh grade. COLLEEN HARRISON/ALBERT LEA TRIBUNE

Sport brings mom, daughter closer

ON AND

OFF COURT Alden-Conger volleyball coach and daughter have their final year on the high school court together

By Tyler Julson

tyler.julson@albertleatribune.com

F

or many parents with about coaching her daughter was children involved in high trying to avoid people thinking that school sports, watching she was favoring her in any way. from the stands as their Not wanting to throw off the team children grow both as a chemistry and wanting her to be like player and a person on and off the any other player on the team, she court is a tremendously rewarding would consciously not compliment experience. The connection between and would be harder on her than any a parent and child through sports is of the other players. a strong bond.

For Erika Bute, the naysayers However, for Jolene and Erika were also challenging in the beginBute, that connection runs a little ning, but the hardest part for her was deeper. Now a senior at Alden-Conger distinguishing her mom’s two roles.

High School, Erika Bute has started “The most challenging part was for six years on the varsity volleyball separating her from my mom and squad with her mom, Jolene Bute, as my coach, either in the gym or at her head coach. home,” Erika Bute said. “It was also Ever since she was 9 years old, challenging to have others make Erika Bute has played competitive comments like ‘you only get to play volleyball, and even before then she because your mom is the coach,’ but would attend her mom’s varsity prac- I learned to tune them out.” tices to watch and learn. As a 9-yearNot only did Erika tune them out, old, Erika Bute made the 11’s junior she proved them wrong with her olympic team, starting her young play on the court as well. She was an career as a standout instant success and has volleyball player. She accumulated some imhas continued playpressive stats through ing on junior olympic her time in high school. teams since, including After completing her a national title with the senior year, Erika reNorthern Lights team corded over 1,000 digs in 2018. and over 2,000 assists.

She started playing She has also signed on for Alden-Conger in to continue her volleyseventh-grade and ball career in college at was immediately Augustana University. pulled up to the varBoth mother and sity roster — but not daughter agreed some

by Jolene Bute. of their favorite memo“I actually had a ries from their time togroup of coaches gether in the program — Erika Bute and former players were when they would choose my team that travel to other games year because I did not want to be and scout the competition, bouncapart of the process of tryouts when ing ideas and game plans off one I had my own kid playing.,” Jolene another.

Bute said. “It was unanimous that she Even after her high school career was ready for varsity, and I fought has ended, Erika Bute said volleyball it for awhile until the senior hitters is still a topic of conversation nearly of that class asked if she could be every day at their house. the setter.”

See BUTES, Page 2 Jolene Bute said the hardest part

“The most challenging part was separating her from my mom and my coach, either in the gym or at home.”

WHAT’S INSIDE?

‘I just felt a calling’

Like father, like son

A home of their own

‘A lot of people that love him’

St. John’s employee known for care, compassion and M&M’s memorabilia. Page 3

Father-son duo from Alden both play for the Albert Lea Grizzlies. Page 4

Woman’s son inspires home for people with disabilities in Lake Mills. Page 5

Wells family says boy was like an angel sent to them. Page 7

PAGE 2 | ALBERTLEATRIBUNE.COM | PROGRESS 2019 | FAMILY & HOME | SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 23, 2019

Erika Bute sets the ball to one of her teammates in a September 2018 game against St. Clair. TYLER JULSON/ALBERT LEA TRIBUNE

BUTES Continued from Front Page

“Volleyball was a daily conversation at home every single day during the season and it gets brought up every single day out of season,” Erika Bute said.

“Volleyball is never ‘out of season’ at our house.

Which I actually love because I get to share my passion with my parents, who are also very passionate about it.”

Even though Erika Bute is done with her high school playing career, Jolene Bute still plans to continue coaching and raising the standard

for the Alden-Conger volleyball program. She said the program has gotten better and better over the past years and as long as players continue to work hard and improve, she wants to be a part of that.

However, she said losing her daughter is going to be an adjustment for her.

“It is going to be really hard to lose my ‘coach on the court’ and my best friend going to all of the games together that we have,” Jolene Bute said.

“But I am really excited for Erika and the next chapter in her volleyball career to play college volleyball. We have been to

many, many college games together. The hard work that she has put in so far and the sacrifices she has made to be the player she is today are incredible.”

Although challenging at times for both of them, having each other on the sidelines and the shared experiences are some things they won’t soon forget.

“Having my mom as my varsity coach was very challenging, but also something I wouldn’t have traded for anything,” Erika Bute said. “I loved being able to share some of my best high school memories with her.”

Safe Travels Start Here No appointment needed

Alden-Conger coach Jolene Bute talks to her team during a timeout in the first round of the Subsection 2A South tournament against Truman in October 2014. Bute said she has coached her daughter, Erika, for about eight years off and on, including Erika Bute’s sixyear varsity career.

MICAH BADER/ALBERT LEA TRIBUNE

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SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 23, 2019 | FAMILY & HOME | PROGRESS 2019 | ALBERTLEATRIBUNE.COM | PAGE 3

Wanda Wangsness has worked at St. John’s Lutheran Community for 41 years. Though she is currently the materials manager, she started as a CNA when she was a high school senior, expecting to stay six months. SARAH KOCHER/ALBERT LEA TRIBUNE

‘I JUST FELT A CALLING’

ST. JOHN’S EMPLOYEE KNOWN FOR CARE, COMPASSION AND M&M’S MEMORABILIA

By Sarah Kocher

sarah.kocher@albertleatribune.com

Wanda Wangsness is 40 1/2 years overdue a job change.

At least, that’s what high school senior Wangsness expected when she took a CNA position at St. John’s Lutheran Community at Luther Place. Her plan was to stay six months.

“I needed gas money,” she said.

Instead?

“They raised me,” Wangsness said.

Wangsness is the materials manager for both St. John’s Albert Lea campuses, managing three warehouses and stocking all materials necessary for resident care: hair combs, hand lotions, slipper socks, nurses’ station items.

“Her residents are always first in her life when she comes to this job,” said Diane Wichmann, who has known Wangsness for 25 years.

Some of this work she does from her office at Luther Place. Each wall begins with a brown base, then part way up transitions cleanly to a different color. Wangsness painted them blue, orange, yellow and red in her off time, freehanding M&M’s men on the road to Vegas in the corner behind her desk. Below that 2D representation is the real deal: a 2-foot tall, red, saluting M&M’s man wearing a sombrero.

For her 40th anniversary of working at St. John’s — she’s at 41 years now — Wangsness ordered

200 cake donuts with frosting and mini M&M’s as sprinkles.

“Anything with an M&M’s on it anywhere, they assume it’s from me,” Wangsness said (even when she’s not responsible for it).

It seems with good reason: Almost anything that could be turned into M&M’s memorabilia has a home in Wangsness’ office.

Every year, her grandchildren make her M&M’s things for the Freeborn County Fair. Her blinds have valances with a hodgepodge of M&M’s men on them. Wangsness made them out of a throw blanket. A plush yellow M&M’s joins visitors on a chair in front of her desk, and on a large lace doily rests a push-button phone — modeled in the style of a rotary with a bright blue receiver — its buttons a rainbow of M&M’s lookalike pieces.

Above the phone and chair, a trio of shelves are stuffed with M-blazoned collectibles: a fire truck, a cookie tin, several mugs, a bag of Canadian-themed M&M’s and a porcelain flowerholder overflowing with silk ivy leaves and blue and pink flowers. On it, the green and red M&M’s sit together on a bench in front of a white picket fence.

Below the bottom shelf, a painted orange M&M’s on the wall, his sneakers untied, hangs on tight to the bottom bracket of the shelf, looking worried. And from Wangsness’ right pocket, an M&M’s lanyard spills out.

On Wangsness’ desk is a

BY THE NUMBERS

41

9

3 Positions Wanda Wangsness has had with St. John’s, and also the number of warehouses she manages as materials manager small gumball machine look-alike that dispenses M&M’s.

“This has been on my desk and full for 13 years,” she said.

She started her position as materials manager around Christmas and noticed other co-workers

Years Wanda Wangsness has worked at St. John’s Lutheran Community had candy in their offices around the holidays.

Wangsness goes further than that now, Wichmann said. At Christmas and Easter, Wangsness makes M&M’s packets for her coworkers and passes them out.

“She’s a real spark plug

Grandchildren Wangsness has. She brings some to St. John’s every holiday to visit, dress up and pass out candy

for us,” Wichmann said.

This Christmas, Wangsness treated others to a Hershey’s bar snowman, wrapped in white paper, decorated with M&M’scolored buttons and sporting an M&M’s fabric hat.

Others may have received an M&M’s Christmas poem

with a fun-size packet of M&M’s stapled on.

Wangsness didn’t start this.

After working as a CNA for five years and in activities for 23, Wangsness changed to her current

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PAGE 4 | ALBERTLEATRIBUNE.COM | PROGRESS 2019 | FAMILY & HOME | SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 23, 2019

LIKE FATHER,

LIKE SON Both Kirk and Zack Peterson plan to continue playing for the Grizzlies when they start their next season this spring. PROVIDED

Father-son duo from Alden both play for the Albert Lea Grizzlies

By Tyler Julson

tyler.julson@albertleatribune.com

ALDEN — For Kirk and Zack Peterson, football has been a part of their lives for years. Like most fatherson duos, they bond over the game, whether it be watching games on TV, discussing their favorite team strategies or Kirk Peterson watching from the sidelines when Zack Peterson played for Alden-Conger. However, the Petersons share one family football experience that not many others can say they have: They are both teammates for the Albert Lea Grizzlies squad.

Kirk Peterson, now 46, started playing for the Grizzlies when he was 40 years old. At the time, Zack Peterson and his sister, Lacy, were water technicians for the team. After playing for three years, Kirk Peterson was unable to continue due to some nagging injuries that forced him to stop his workout routine.

The father said he fell out of football shape and wasn’t able to get back into a routine, until his son asked him to rejoin the team — this time with him by his side.

“Many different things led to that point, but one day Zack came to me and said he has decided that he was going to play for the Grizzlies next season, and he wanted me to play as well,” Kirk Peterson said. “All of a sudden, all the things that had led me to where I was changed, and I had one of many new goals to attack.”

The Grizzlies would play their first game at the Winter Pigskin Classic at U.S. Bank Stadium in Minneapolis during the first weekend of October.

At 288 pounds, Kirk told Zack he would only play in that game if he could get himself down to 215 pounds.

He hit the mark one week before the game.

“I loved it,” Zack Peterson said. “Not many people can say they played football with their father. Even though I didn’t play much in the dome game, I still had an amazing time. What made that game even better is a lot of family came to watch and my friend came also.”

Kirk Peterson said it was hard to describe how he felt as he stood on the same field as his son. Throwing a block for him, setting the edge and just talking on the sideline after a big play is something he’ll never forget.

“I can’t describe what it felt like to sit in that locker room at U.S. Bank Stadium and watch my son strapping on his pads, knowing that I was going to get a chance to step onto the football field with him,” Kirk Peterson said. “I think I was

Both Kirk and Zack Peterson played football for AldenConger before playing for the Albert Lea Grizzlies. Kirk, played for the Grizzlies previously for three years.

“I can’t describe what it felt like to sit in that locker room at U.S. Bank Stadium and watch my son strapping on his pads, knowing that I was going to get a chance to step onto the football field with him.”

— Kirk Peterson actually the last one dressed and onto the field that day, simply because it was a moment that in all reality I wanted to relish forever.”

Even though playing with his son is a memory that he will cherish for a lifetime, Kirk Peterson said his favorite football memory has nothing to due with suiting up in pads at all. His favorite football pastime is playing with both his son and daughter in the backyard.

“My best memories involve both of them in the backyard playing one-onone, Dad as quarterback, and them switching offense and defense making up their own plays they wanted to run,” Kirk Peterson said.

Both Kirk and Zack Peterson agreed their favorite aspect about the game of football was the bond formed between teammates and the teamwork that it took to be able to win games.

“My favorite thing about playing is when you and your team are all connecting and on the same page,” Zack Peterson said. “It makes football way more fun because you win games when you are all playing as a team.”

Kirk Peterson credits his son and daughter with helping him stay on the team, saying if it weren’t for them being so involved from an early age, he might have just played one season and been done.

Now, on top of being on

the board of directors for the team, Kirk Peterson plans to continue playing alongside his son when the Grizzlies start their next season in the spring. Zack Peterson said he plans to play for the Grizzlies for many years to come.

Father and son Zack and Kirk Peterson both played for the Albert Lea Grizzlies in the SPFL Winter Showcase at U.S. Bank Stadium in October.

The Albert Lea Grizzlies competed in the annual Winter Showcase in U.S. Bank Stadium in Minneapolis in October.

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 23, 2019 | FAMILY & HOME | PROGRESS 2019 | ALBERTLEATRIBUNE.COM | PAGE 5

Lake Mills resident Linda Tweeten holds a picture of her son, Jacob Tweeten, last month at his apartment. She credits a conversation with Gary Irons, one of her son’s teachers, with starting the idea for a residential care home in Lake Mills. SAM WILMES/ALBERT LEA TRIBUNE

A home of their own

Woman’s son inspires home for people with developmental disabilities

By Sam Wilmes

sam.wilmes@albertleatribune.com

LAKE MILLS — In February 2001, Linda Tweeten began discussing the future of her then high school-age son with Down syndrome, Jacob Tweeten, with one of his teachers, Gary Irons.

“What our answer was, that we would love to see him living in the community right here that he knows with people he knows, working here, having a home here, that he could be as independent as possible,” Linda Tweeten said.

By the end of 2003, the efforts of Linda Tweeten and Irons paid dividends with the opening of a residential home for people with developmental disabilities that today houses five people.

Irons and Tweeten undertook extensive efforts to open the home. They spoke with Lake Mills Development Corp. and were assisted in the process

by Marilyn Hoffman, the leader of the organization at that time.

The Lake Mills City Council “liked the idea,” Tweeten said.

Large donations from the Larson Foundation, Forest City, Iowa-based Hanson Foundation and a Community Development Block Grant assisted them in the process.

“We got some huge donations that really got us going,” Tweeten said.

The home in Lake Mills was purchased in May 2002, and tenants began being accepted in December of that year. There were initially three residents at the facility, and a fourth person was added in January 2003.

In January 2006, a fifth bedroom was added.

The bedrooms all have a private closet, and there is one bathroom for every two tenants, with the fifth resident having a private bathroom as well. A common area features a kitchen, dining space, living, family and laundry rooms.

Residents share meals and take turns cooking.

The home is similar to one in Mason City.

“It’s as if you were one of a member of five family,” Tweeten said.

“It’s not an apartment

The residential care home has been in operation since December 2002 in Lake Mills. where you have an apartment, it’s a home where you have your own bedroom and share everything else.”

In the beginning, a large van was donated for use, and with extra money, the board donated $5,000 to service provider One Vision, who used the funding to buy a minivan they now use.

Residents are charged a monthly rent that has never been increased, Tweeten said.

“We decided on an amount that we thought was very reasonable for their amount of money, because a lot of these people don’t have full-time jobs,” she said.

“They are adults with developmental disabilities, so that means their skills are maybe less than somebody else would have.”

Tweeten noted the initial

5

By the numbers $129,000 2002

Residents who live in the facility in Lake Mills

plan was to have Lake Mills residents in the facility and then branch out to other communities.

“From our experience with Jacob, there was nothing that would keep him here,” she said. “And so if we had that experience, other people would have that experience.”

Today, four of the five residents are local, with one from another location.

Tweeten is secretary and

Year a residential care home for people with disabilities opened in Lake Mills

Price the residential care home was purchased for

treasurer of Lake Mills Opportunities Inc., a nonprofit organization. Tweeten is joined by Irons, President Lynn Bartness, Vice President LouAnn Scholbrock and Jan Belica on the board.

Lake Mills Opportunities serves as the homeowner, furnishing, maintaining, providing appliances and helping pay for heating and electric services.

One Vision finds and supervises the tenants and

ensures the home is maintained at a proper level.

Tweeten’s son lives at an apartment in Lake Mills. If he ever needs to move into the facility, his mother said she would resign from the board so he can do so.

“My interest continued,” she said. “Even though I could see Jacob living here alone, my interest was still for other people, and I knew families in Lake Mills that had children who needed to

live in a place like that who had that independence away from Mom and Dad but still having some supervision.”

To Tweeten, the facility is an example of how open the community is for people with disabilities.

“One year, the tenants baked cookies and took it around to some of their neighbors,” she said. “And the neighbors are very open to them. And they can walk downtown and people know them. Or they go to church and people know them. And they can come up and they can go to the movies and people know them.

“And they are accepted.

And there (are) jobs in the community that employers have made a space for them to work even with their disability and their limitation.”

PAGE 6 | ALBERTLEATRIBUNE.COM | PROGRESS 2019 | FAMILY & HOME | SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 23, 2019

About once a week, M&M’s memorabilia shows up on Wanda Wangsness’ desk, she said.

While she framed the M&M’s fabric here and also put up the photos of her children, she estimates a large portion of what’s in her office was gifted to her. SARAH KOCHER/ALBERT LEA TRIBUNE

EMPLOYEE Continued from Page 3

position. It was the same staff and residents she loves, but a new role.

“I thought, ‘Let’s broaden your horizons,’” she said.

Wangsness said when she took the position as materials manager, a co-worker said, “Oh, you’re the new M and M in town.”

“It just took off from there,” Wangsness said.

Most of what’s in her office are gifts from others, starting with a Las Vegasthemed M&M’s frame given to her by her daughter-inlaw, now filled with an image of Wangsness at the Las Vegas M&M’s World.

At home, she has two M&M’s couch throws and nothing else themed. In her office, it’s like the Albert Lea hub of a Mars Inc. museum display.

“I guess I thought, ‘This is something so out of the box … let’s just run with it,” Wangsness said.

Her collection is only growing. Wangsness said coming into her office sometimes makes her feel like she’s surrounded by elves.

M&M’s merchandise is left on her desk, often without a clue as to who left it.

“Once a week there’s something sitting there,”

“She doesn’t need that for her reputation. She’s good. She’s sweet. She’s like a candy.”

— St. John’s resident Jeanne Wendell Wangsness said.

And now, she has made her own mantra of gratefulness out of it all. M&M isn’t just materials manager anymore; now, it’s also “much and many thanks.”

For example, when she thanks staff as part of the safety committee, it might be, “Much and many thanks for working safely.”

While it’s hard to miss for anyone who walks into her office, M&M’s aren’t what Wangsness has a reputation for at St. John’s, resident Jeanne Wendell said.

“She doesn’t need that for her reputation,” she said.

“She’s good. She’s sweet.

She’s like a candy.”

She’s also attentive, Wendell said.

“She’s got two good listening ears and she never says anything to you unless she’s thought of how to say it,” Wendell said.

Wangsness can figure out, without you telling her, whether you’re doing well or not.

“She never questioned anything on the amount of time she spent … with a person,” Wendell said.

She’s also a woman Wendell knows as good with adults but who truly loves children.

Both Wendell and Wichmann said during Wangsness’ time off, she will bring her grandchildren in to spend time with the residents.

“We’ve just adopted all the grandmas and grandpas in here,” Wangsness said.

She didn’t know her own grandparents well, so she speculated that may be why she puts effort into caring for residents with her own grandchildren. “... They come here from the time they can waddle.”

Wangsness is “Bumma” to nine grandchildren, whom she brings in to pass out treats for every holiday.

“Any time that there is a reason we can come and put a funny hat on, I gather as many as I can … and we put something on our head, or a whole complete costume, and up and down the halls we go,” Wangsness said.

Often, they’ll bring in suckers: They have a stick for residents to grab and to prevent choking, and they can be small enough for those with diabetes to still

This keychain is likely Wanda Wangsness’ oldest piece of M&M’s memorabilia, though it is just one of hundreds of pieces in her office. SARAH KOCHER/ALBERT LEA TRIBUNE consume some of. When her grandchildren walk down the hall, she said, they pass out suckers. When they walk back down, the residents tip their suckers to the children, and the children tip their suckers back in a sort of sugary salute.

“We have so much fun together,” Wangsness said.

When she brings her grandchildren to St. John’s, it looks different from when she came herself as a child at 5 years old to visit her greatgrandmother. She was always told to behave — to be quiet.

Now, they sing everywhere they go during their informal family parade through the facility, Wangsness said.

“They know how much fun you can have, even if you’re old,” she said. “… They understand love and compassion and giving to someone else that can’t pay you back.

And I think that’s one of the biggest things I want to instill in them. And if I’m lucky enough to live long enough to end up in a care center, I would like them to bring their kids and sing and be loud and give me chocolate when I’m not supposed to have it. I want them to help me grow old in a fun way, just like I want them to help all these people that live here.”

Wangsness said she wants to stay at St. John’s

Wanda Wangsness brings her grandchildren to St. John’s to celebrate holidays with the residents. PROVIDED as long as she can.

“It felt like family the minute I walked in that door,” Wangsness said. “And it still feels like family.”

She started for gas money, but she stayed because she found her passion, she said.

“I just felt a calling,” Wangsness said. “I wanted to make life the best it could be. You don’t come to a nursing home to add years to your life. When you come here, I want to add life to your years. And the more fun and the more loving and the more connected you

are through your grandchildren or through M&M’s or through I don’t know, it’s just terribly important to me.”

She’s doing so through the three things Wangsness holds to be universally effective.

“There’s three things in my 41 years here, three things that absolutely spark life and happiness with these people, and it’s puppies and children and M&M’s,” Wangsness said. “If you can produce one of those three or all of them together, we are giving our residents a wonderful day.”

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SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 23, 2019 | FAMILY & HOME | PROGRESS 2019 | ALBERTLEATRIBUNE.COM | PAGE 7

‘He has a lot of people that love him’

By Colleen Harrison

colleen.harrison@albertleatribune.com

WELLS — Over seven years ago, Trey Seedorf had never taken a bath or a shower in a tub.

Over seven years ago, Trey had never celebrated his birthday, or received a Christmas gift.

Over seven years ago, Trey didn’t know his own name.

Over seven years ago, Trey hadn’t found his family yet.

But he has them now.

Now 11 years old, Trey is the youngest of Terri and Steve Seedorf’s four children. He was born to the stepdaughter of Steve Seedorf’s brother, who he was left with after he was born. Trey’s step-grandfather was an alcoholic who neglected Trey and his sister, so much so that thenHead Start teacher Renee O’Rourke picked up on the signs of trouble at home.

She stepped in, and the children were eventually removed from the home.

After about one month, Trey came to live with the Seedorfs in December 2011.

His sister is now with another family.

Terri and Steve Seedorf had their foster parents license at one point, but didn’t continue with it after a year of only two calls they were out of town for. When Trey came into the picture, Terri Seedorf said they had a family meeting with their three older children before bringing Trey into their home.

When the family was in consensus that Trey belonged with them, then came the hoops for the Seedorfs to jump through.

There was fingerprinting and plenty of paperwork, and eventually a hearing that granted them legal guardianship of Trey. They do hope to one day legally adopt Trey, but there are some complications as Trey is part Native American.

To the Seedorfs, Trey was meant to be a part of the family. Terri Seedorf said they had always wanted four children. Having suffered two miscarriages, Terri Seedorf felt she couldn’t have any more children after her oldest three, who all have names that start with T: Tiffany, Tanner and Trinity. Trey fit right in as child number four.

“It was just kind of like an angel set in place there, when we had the opportunity to foster him,” Steve Seedorf said.

“I think it was just a blessing,” Terri Seedorf said. “It was like God’s plan anyway.”

Still, there have been adjustments.

Trey had been through a lot in just his first four years of life. He was quiet and often hid when he first came home with the Seedorfs. He was also behind academically and was considered developmentally delayed due to neglect.

While the Seedorfs said there is still some fear for Trey of losing the people in his life — before the Seedorfs, he lost everyone in his life either due to death or abandonment — Trey has

Terri and Steve Seedorf are the legal guardians of their son, Trey, who came into their home as a foster child in December 2011. COLLEEN HARRISON/ALBERT LEA TRIBUNE

Terri and Steve Seedorf have four children: Trey and Trinity, who are pictured, and Tanner and Tiffany. made leaps and bounds worth of progress.

“When we first got him, he was quiet as can be,” Terri Seedorf said. “In kindergarten, he got in trouble for talking too much, and — you know what — we were excited.”

Terri Seedorf attributes a lot of Trey’s progress to his environment — being in a home with people who love him. They got him talking through time spent with other children as well as adults, through school, church and family gatherings.

“Just being in an environment where people love you and interact with you — that makes a difference,” Terri Seedorf said.

“We always talk about what’s going to win: nature or nurture. And right now, nurture’s winning.”

Trey calls the Seedorfs Mom and Dad, and now has their last name. He plays with his brother and sisters and loves wrestling with the family’s two dogs. He has started to take an interest in hunting with his father

as they start to question more where they fit in with their families. She hopes the family’s close bond as well as the counselor will help Trey weather any possible rough patches with his past.

While the United South Central fifth-grader still struggles sometimes academically, Terri Seedorf said the teachers have been wonderful to work with.

“He fits in real well,” Terri Seedorf said. “It’s a team effort — we all work really hard.”

Trey has had not only an impact on his family’s home life, but Terri Seedorf’s professional life as well.

Originally a Catholic school teacher, Terri Seedorf became a special education teacher after gaining Trey as a son.

“He’s the reason why I became a special ed teacher — dealing with a child that has been abused and

neglected, and knowing that we can make a difference in his life,” she said.

While the Seedorfs are no longer foster parents, they still encourage others to consider it as a way to expand their own families and to help children in need. They said perspective foster parents need to be mentally prepared, as many foster children come from troubled backgrounds and need time to adjust to their new surroundings.

“If people have the financial resources, and if they want to help children, this is a good way to do it,” Terri Seedorf said. “It takes a lot of work, though. You have to be mentally prepared for nights when they wake up screaming. You never know the baggage of what’s going to come.”

“Any families that are out there thinking about fostering, I would encourage them to have open arms and go with the flow,” Steve Seedorf said.

The Seedorfs have hit their share of bumps since Trey came into their lives, but wouldn’t trade those tough times for anything.

Having never been around water much — the only baths Trey had ever had before being with the Seedorfs were sponge baths — he was extremely afraid of water and even the bathtub when he first came to live with them. Bathtime was hard, and so were the swim lessons the Seedorfs enrolled him in. But now, Trey loves the water. He takes 45-minute showers when he can. The family spends a lot of time on their boat during the summer, and Terri Seedorf said Trey would live in the water if he could.

Instead, he lives at home, with his family.

He has them now.

“He has a lot of people that love him,” Terri Seedorf said, before calling into the next room, “Right, Trey?”

“Yeah,” he yelled back, followed by giggling and laughing from both rooms.

and likes to play on the Wii with his siblings. Trey has started to try his hand at basketball and wrestling and is testing the waters of being a part of band this year. He has also gotten into taekwondo, which his mother believes helps him to focus. While he still has trouble sleeping through the night, saying nightly prayers with his dad helps.

The Seedorfs said they have been very open with Trey about who his biological mother is, and where he came from. They’ve gone to powwows of the Nakata tribe — or Yankton Sioux tribe — and are learning about the culture of Trey’s ancestors together, so much so that his former last name is now part of his legal middle name.

Trey meets with a counselor once a month to make sure he knows he can ask any questions he has or talk to someone about his background and his adjustments.

Terri Seedorf said adolescence can sometimes be a trying time for children who are being fostered or adopted,

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