You Are The Sky by Alfred Masubelele

An Anthology

compiled by Lerato Masubelele

You are the Sky 1st Impression Copyright ÂŠ 2015 Lerato Masubelele All rights reserved Cover design: Waldo Swart Book design: Chrisna Prinsloo Photograph by Lerato Thusi Prepared for print by BK Publishing, Pretoria www.bkpublishing.co.za Printed in South Africa by Business Print Copyright permission: In terms of the Copyright Act 98 of 1978, no part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publishers. ISBN - 13 978-0-620-65676-4 To order: leratomasubelele@yahoo.com

Contents Foreword

Lerato Masubelele, 97 19

You are the sky Lerato Masubelele, 97 1

White lies/lines Lerato Masubelele, 97 26

Untitled Saliki Likanza, 97

I know my love is good Princess Khumalo,96 24

Nirvana Thato Modise, 96

Woman

Virtue’s Solace Lerato Masubelele, 97 8 Weakness in Me: Part 1. Heaven’s Door Lerato Masubelele,97 13 Her Aura Tshepo Letsoalo, 97 15 Loose (submission) Leago Mamabolo, 98 18

Love is beautiful too Lerato Masubelele, 97 31 Weakness In Me: Part 2. His Pain Lerato Masubelele, 97 33 Love Selepe Motuba, 97

It’s Love Lerato Masubelele, 97 37 How Good It Is Craig Phakathi

Runaway

Just the Same

Lerato Masubelele, 97 50

Leago Mamabolo, 98 67

Weakness In Me: Part 3.

Breaking Away

Her Hell

Nonkuleko Lusenge, 93 70

Lerato Masubelele, 97 52 Naked Kamogelo Mopai, 93 54 Traces Of My Heart Lerato Masubelele, 97 56 Unruly Justice Lerato Masubelele, 97 58

Flowers Reneilwe Masekoameng, 97 71 Devour me Lerato Masubelele, 97 72 Over the years Kamogelo Mopai, 93 76 Weakness In Me: Part 5.

Proverbs 31 woman

Indecisions

Lerato Masubelele, 97 60

Lerato Masubelele, 97 79

Let me

My love daydreams

Katleho Ntseng, 97 62

Princess Khumalo

Weakness In Me: Part 4.

Angel

The Near Ending

Lerato Masubelele, 97 83

Lerato Masubelele, 97 63 Tangerine Lerato Masubelele, 97 66

Dear You Fikile Khuzwayo, 96 91

Her

The Love Is The Name

Lerato Masubelele, 97 95

Naledi Sibisi, 92

Find Her

Fire

Leshego Mothibi, 97 99

Nomonde Jele, 96

Untitled

LILY

Lerato Masubelele, 97 102

Nonkululeko Lusenga, 96 116

your piece forever

Forgive my lips

Lerato Masubelele, 97

106

Rebone Mzizi, 94

111

113

118

Untitled

Love Tides

Thubelihle Nkutha, 93 107

Lerato Masubelele, 97 120

Beautiful Minds Collide Rebone Mzizi, 94

109

Foreword Love is the beginning and end of all things. I first conceptualised this anthology as a showcase writers’ and poets’ take on love – Generally, the youth’s opinions on love are not highly regarded and I’m hoping to change that. Love is a beautiful feeling and poetry, I feel, is the best tool to describe such a wonderful feeling. You are the sky is an anthology for everyone that believes in love, the lovers, non-believers, the bitter, the hedonists. Each poem and each story relates to everyday issues that we come across regarding love. Compiling this collection was a difficult task – every piece was selected with consideration and carefulness. This anthology showcases varied views of love from different minds to your soul. Hopefully, You are the sky will guide you through the tough times and whenever you are feeling uncertain about love, refer to this anthology. It could mean anything to you. I hope it changes the way you think about love and how it is ‘supposed’ to be. It might even open your eyes toa love that has been right in front of you.

Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m a young writer that truly believes that love is everything and this anthology is my way of showing love to the world. Lerato Alfred Masubelele

Love [luhv] noun 1. A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. 2. A feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child or friend. 3. Sexual passion or desire. Dictionary.com

You are the sky Lerato Masubelele, 97

I heard it’s a bad religion to love someone who could never love you back. Two differences brought by fate and separated by life.What a waste. You are the sky. I hope you never understand that because it’ll ruin me. I don’t even know what I’m talking about. Once upon a time, I had you all draped around me.Now the curtains fell and I’m here, standing, gazing, wondering, naked to your eye. You never left my sight, like the moon is always staring at the sky. You are my high. Dammit. I’m still addicted, sucks now that there’s no rehabilitation. I told you I love the moon and now, whenever I look up, I love you. The beginning of this was very unsuspecting. Who knew that love would ever be in the sky? You never hid the sunshine in my life.Maybe it’s because you are my sunshine, but please don’t blind me with your beauty. I never was the best for you; I was just me for you. I see stars in your eyes. Maybe the birth of the universe was the birth of you, and all I can really say is that you are my universe. Do I sound crazy yet? There is none other like you. Maybe the trees whisper 1

but they do forget that you gave them life, a life I always needed. Look at you being all beautiful. I know my love letters don’t entice your thoughts but would you kill me for trying? Can you also fall in love with me too, maybe, I’d like that. Do I sound crazy yet? Whatever the future may hold for you and I, don’t ever forget that you are my sky and I hope I sound crazy to you. That’s me scribbling about you, whenever I start pondering about love. Do you ever wonder what the future holds? What’s meant to be and what isn’t? I loved dreaming whenever I dreamt about you. Maybe it’s because I love you.Okay, the truth is, the truth is I’m not man enough to stand up to reality, I’m just stuck in my own world where I’m yours and you’re mine. Allow me to reminisce on past déjà-vu. I’m tired of trying to replace you. This is the truth in its purest form. I’m tired of looking for another you. I’m still caught up in what we almost had but never got to see. I cannot get over you. I cannot put my past behind and just act like it’s nothing. All I was looking for was another you, another love of my life but you’re a ‘once in a lifetime’ person. If you ever fell for me, I’d wrap the sky to the floor so that you would never stop falling. You probably think I’m crazy, don’t you? It’s fine. I lost my sanity in you a long time ago. 2

I remember the first time I met your eyes and our first hug. No, I’m not creepy. I just remember the best moments of my life. It felt like magic and blessings overcoming me. It felt like Heaven. Oh, Jesus. I’ve always written about you. I don’t even know where my scriptures are, maybe they’re hidden somewhere in the Bible with all the greatest love letters. You are the sky. Can I remind you again? You are the sky, so beautiful, so touchable yet so distant. I’m crazy. I know. What have I done? Look at my heart being poured out in such a manner. I’m sorry; my only desire is honesty and you. I hope you drank some of my heart and I hope it tastes like love. Can you fall for me already? God, I’m so impatient. A quality I wish I never had. I’d wait another millennium just to see you smile and maybe catch another glimpse of you. A glance I’d always treasure. If I could, I’d save it as my only memory. Can I write a poem about you? And maybe you’ll love it like I love you. Comparisons I wish I’d never make. You are the goddess up in the sky with the gods. I told you, you are the sky. This is how much I’d love to love you.

Nirvana Thato Modise, 96

There’s a boy who lives in the confines of his own imagination, and he stands tall, like a mountain dripping waterfalls of ambition and courage. He…walks without a care in his mind, plants the world in his back pocket and forgets its entire existence when he changes his jeans. But at night, when he closes his eyes, he sees a girl who holds the remote control to his heart, pauses it and makes it skip a beat everytime she says hi. This girl, whose image is stapled to the inside his eyelids, holds him and he feels the touch, like the message of an angel to a prophet, and he sees the purpose of his religion, why he believes in love. She…comes into his dreams slow, like a breeze, a cold air awakening him as he opens his eyes, in a sudden realisation that she’s been standing there all along and he again blinked for too long. He stares at her, like the numbers on the winning Lottery ticket with excitement, hugs her with no intention of letting go, whispers “I love you”, softly into her ear in the hope that 4

this time…this time the words will reach her eardrums and play them loudly saying “listen, I’ve been in love with you for the past few years and I’m helplessly screaming, ‘Notice me!’” Sadly his attempts are as hollow as the emptiness in his heart and it’s on days like these that he scares himself, trying senselessly to rip off the skin she doesn’t find so attractive. He adjusts his personality daily until people start thinking he’s bipolar and he wonders…the many times he was the good guy, the many times he acted like an ass, the many times he ignored her and the many times he gave her his undivided attention, none of his 15 personalities ever caught her eye. He starts thinking his entire existence is just not what she’s looking for. He gets drunk to hide the thoughts but all they ever do is reveal themselves like the explicitness of an 18 rated movie.

Untitled Saliki Likanza, 97

My lips; burnt, wounded. My eyes became discoloured and watered streams. When my advisor was my only saving to remove all the life of you from my being; from my being, from me. She aided my addiction and told me to aspire to find a part to fill my void and seek help before overdosing on what we used to be. This defined me. No hurt left in me to confess, that the engraved image of her smile in my mind and the scent that loitered on my clothing became my form of dependency. Her presence. That girl. No heart was left in my empty shell to confess that she was the form in which was diagnosed as Class A drugs running within me. Echoes of her voice were left to roam where symphonies once filled me. My lips; burnt, wounded and blood scented. Eyes discoloured, watering streams and imagery vaults. Flickering memories of you ever since your name was recited over and over again, on my way to my advisor like an 6

unanswered prayer I banked on someone to hear. Pain no longer suppresses me. One day I’ll take flight to find refuge where I belong, in the heavens with you. My saddened memories no longer stitch my wings. You are soaring the skies, alone for now, watching down on me, waiting on me…on what we used to be. Maybe I need you running through my veins after all. I’d rather be drugged with what we used to be than composed with your absence.

Virtue’s Solace Lerato Masubelele, 97

She was never, ever, ever going to do it again. Stars collided – the universe was not in order, the first time she did it. She was the rainbow in the middle of a storm, the prayer in the morning, breathe in a lifeless heart – she was beautiful. All this beauty was consumed by the lust that roamed the deep dark thoughts that she showed with a grin. And she was thunder in the drizzle. “I can’t promise you forever but I can promise now, live with no regret and happiness shall overcome your spirit,” he said. “This Heaven is for my Lord, he deserves all the glory that this can produce,” she said. “Experience knows no death. It’s either you live this life or you don’t, just don’t let regret become your shadow,” he said. “Your temptations may elude my body but it won’t discrete my mind. Evoke my thoughts all you want but I know your intentions aren’t pure,” she said. “By the time I’m done with you, I’ll have you clutching my soul asking for more. Stare into my eyes maybe you’ll gaze into the universe. The wonders of life are meant to be 8

experienced aren’t they?” he asked. “Yes, they are but not everyone can see stars during the day,” she said. “That’s why we have eyes,” he said. Ages of fussing and poetrypassed. Seasons changed, like people do, and in the middle of summer, she caught feelings. He was pleased with what his words had done. It was mutual, the sun set and the moon blossomed, like a flower to a bee. One night, when the stars where dancing and their hormones were raging, they were together. Forbidden love was discovered and it was kept in their hearts. The universe’s balance was stolen and kept afloat in the Heavens, only they reached. Cloudy morning it was. Regret lingering almost on the edge of insanity. Who knew Heaven could feel like Hell afterwards. She was a rainy summer day, with not much to hide but her smile, which was missing from the stars. He was satisfied, a Lion, untameable after a fest. “You feel like Heaven, no wait, you are heaven. I’m glad I could feel your nature. It’s definitely a memory to treasure,” he said. “The gates are open now; your departure is not expected. You’ve made a home in me, now all you have to do is stay,” she said. “Home is where the heart is, you’ve got a huge piece of 9

me in you. I love you,” he said. “I hope you’re not a mystical fog I’m lost in. I love you, too, but I need some of me,” she said. Your soul is a dessert and will be dissected and consumed. His devious smile stole it and left. He was the devil with eyes of that matter. All she was left with was her darkness and the image of Heaven being robbed. “I lost my sight for a while and I got robbed of the only thing I can’t replace. A blind heart is a stupid one. I can’t believe I let a fool steal all my gold. Now I’m worthless,” she thought to herself. The moon bled, the stars cried and the universe was spinning out of control until she lost her mind and regret became her shadow, following her around, even in darkness. Attached like the sun and the sky. She was the dark to the night and then she lost herself 10 times over. The difference between hate and love is all in the staring. A piece of you will always be lost in someone, make sure that person belongs to your soul. Never again was she going to experience that until she was going to be one with her soul mate.

*note* Patience is the key to happiness. The wait might be long, but whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not worth waiting for is not worth having. Although, everything happens for a reason, we must respect ourselves in the process. Your body is a temple; worship and treat it as such.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;I know for sure that love saves me and that it is here to save us all.â&#x20AC;? Maya Angelou

Weakness in Me: Part 1. Heaven’s Door Lerato Masubelele,97

Love is what you make it, a quote he read somewhere. He was madly inlove with his girlfriend and he’d probably travel the universe in hopes of never losing her. She was madly in love with him; she’d probably lose her life over losing him. Their relationship was quite the perfect example of how a relationship should be but they both had some demons they needed to get rid of, in order to reach heaven. He had a past he regretted. He was a player, a womanizer, and once upon a time he was trying to change for the better, but every action had a reaction. The world seemed like it was crashing down when all the broken hearts and the tormented souls started haunting him, again. The more he tried to be committed to his girlfriend, the more his love for the ladies grew. Sadly his past caught up to him and he had to pay. All his old girlfriends and lovers tried ruining his relationship but he didn’t give in, he couldn’t give in. There were temptations lurking in every corner and he never shut a blind eye to what was happening. He didn’t tell his girlfriend what was happening, he just kept it to himself, thinking, maybe in time all of this will go away. 13

He was wrong. Ever heard of the saying ‘ Karma’s a bitch ‘ well Karma started chasing him. She had a past she regretted. She had done certain things in the past she wish she had never done. She used to be a whore back then, chasing everything with a dick, until she found him. Then he changed her life, by showing her the path of enlightenment and righteousness. She loved him for that and she made him her everything. He was her only source of happiness. She lived a messed up life, she used to be an alcoholic and a regular drug user. She stopped doing all the ‘ bad ‘ things for him. They found each other right in the middle of the storm and found the light to guide them, with their demons behind them, whichwere chasing after them. How would they deal with them? Was their past going to affect their present? Was it REALLY love? This journey they were taking was to show them love and endurance but, most importantly, trust.

Her Aura Tshepo Letsoalo, 97

I watched forever in her eyes and I could see the first time we ever met. It was different…like it was from her point of view. The way she looked at me – the way I looked at her – it was as if we were in an endless loop of yearning to be together. It was like meeting her for the first time over and over again. She said that I’m beautiful while staring dead into my eyes. It was probably a reflection of her beauty. I didn’t pay it much attention. I couldn’t pay it any attention. I was too busy channelling all my focus into trying not to blink. I was scared that I’d miss a moment, a slight movement, a breath or even a single second that I could never get back. There was something about being with her that made me time-conscious, I guess, as if a minute with her meant everything. She does this thing where she smiles and the corner of her eyes wrinkle up and she covers her face with her hands and for a moment you could forget if anything, besides seeing her smile, even matters. See, she has this thing about her, her aura, it pulls you in and you just can’t help it. You could feel her presence in a crowd, it sort of sways around like its being carried by the wind 15

– as if it’s free from all confinements of this world. Man, even the way she breathes is enough to make you believe in something bigger than you. But this wasn’t love. She was freedom. She couldn’t be confined by the constraints of love…or at least not yet. She was young and beautiful and free to be herself and so was I. Nothing, no amount of time, money or anything in fact, could be traded for this feeling that I still struggle to describe. It felt like falling down a cliff but being caught at the last moment, like swimming in a pool full of chlorine, but keeping your eyes open, because she’s worth it, like anger, like this was raw and painfully beautiful and I honestly don’t know what it was but I swear to God that I felt something. Something that I didn’t want to put a label on. I felt an urge to listen to her speak until her mouth grew tired of airing her thoughts and let her body make sense of them. I felt the urge to dig into her mind like a gold mine of her thoughts. But more than most I felt the urge to just sit across from her. I felt the urge to just be with her. I didn’t care about any other girl, really. Sure, I looked around, but if you’ve ever seen her laugh, I mean genuinely laugh, you would hold onto every thought of her as if it’s your last breath, and you would find memories of her 16

laughing, creeping between awkward silences with other girls and at parties where everyone is great but they’re just not her. Sometimes I wonder if she’s even real, you know – like the way she glided across the room as if her hips were a dream – It was unreal, man. Sometimes it feels like a lie but then I remember what her hand felt like in mine. It felt like holding on to a future that I wanted for myself, for her and for us. She was real. This was real.

Loose (submission) Leago Mamabolo, 98

I’m going to tie my hair down. Let the bladed wind cut every strand. I’ll be a new bold print to a free spirit’s paperback heart. There will be no validated questions asked or set dates and al fresco dining. I’m going to feel him when he isn’t right and enjoy him when he’s wrong. Peel a wound here and wait for some pocket change there Everyday …I clench hope in a fist Until Winter’s toes fall off and Summer’s skin is bleached. He’ll hand me places from the palm of his hand and for my life’s fantasy I’ll be stolen from reality like an easy lover without a care in the world.

Woman Lerato Masubelele, 97

“That deceiving smile you’ve always got on, is going to be the death of me, woman,” he said. “Sometimes I regret ever meeting you, where the fuck did I find you? But what’s the point of living in regret. All we’ve got is our killer eyes and our passionate hearts,” he said. “Live in me forever? Maybe?” she said. “Look at how I told you that you’ll fall in love before I went crazy. You’re stupid for doubting me. I’m not sorry for making you smile, you almost hate me anyway,” he said. “You were already crazy when I met you, stop being foolish. You are the one that fell for my smile before you ever met me, so stop talking nonsense. Stop being an asshole,” she said. “Making me seem like a glorified asshole is only going to break your heart, not mine,” he said. “Who said I have a heart. I’m just an empty void with feelings you’ll never ever reach,” she said. “What if I don’t want to go there? Stop with whatever you’re doing to me. Can you not see that I am trying to fall in love with you? ” 19

Questioning your heart is useless. It’s like telling the sun not to come out tomorrow. The heart wants what the heart wants. Do not fight it or else you’ll get hurt. Sometimes, the bad things are good for us. Nobody deserves to get heartbroken, but we don’t always get what we deserve, so a little heartbreak can set you straight and maybe you’ll thank it, one day. We all become pathetic excuses for human beings when we’re in love. We’re blind to life; maybe that’s how love affects us. A great feeling it may be, but don’t drown your conscience. “I’m sorry for letting you fall in love with me, I’m trying to deal with being a womanizer but I’m still getting there. My heart’s full of omens, forgive me if I do break your heart,” he said. “After me there will be another, when are you going to stop this childish and not so vicious cycle?” she said. “After the ’one’ has broken my heart, I heard that it is what sets people straight. Till then, don’t introduce me to your girl-friends,” he said. “Tell your eyes to stop making me fall for them,” she said. “I’m sorry I’m not blind,” he said. “What is love to you?” She asked. “Love is that thing in your eye I love staring at,” he said. “I will slap the shit outta you if you don’t stop this nonsense,” she said. 20

“Stop what?” He asked. “Stop with this whole making me fall for you, this whole eye staring – souls falling, stop being you!” she said. “Are you really going to blame me for that? It’s my nature, I cannot help it. I’m not holding you; if you want to walk away you can go. ” “Damn you for making me become so attached to you. Argh!” Whenever we find ourselves falling for someone we’re not sure of, we should take a step back and look at the path that’s ahead. We’re not supposed to fall for someone; we’re supposed to share a path with them. That’s how most of us find ourselves in toxic relationships. We fall for someone knowing that the person isn’t going to catch us. You cannot prevent heartbreak from happening, its nature’s way of humbling you. All you can do is guard your heart, it is your greatest asset. “Baby, you’re so beautiful, the heavens clutched the moon and stared at you. The stars were even jealous. Without you in my life the sun would’ve never risen,” he said. “Boy, you shine brighter than all the stars combined and you’re the spark that gives me life,” she said. “Girl, how you make Juliet jealous, she even worships your smile,” he said. “Romeo has nothing on you,” she said. 21

Passionate love is beautiful. If two people can always be passionate with each other then most mad people would consider it true love. True love is giving your true self to your partner and not feeling ashamed about it. Falling in love is going to be different. Not every partner is going to be as passionate as your last one. We need to stop defining love and being ourselves in love. I hope you fall in love.

Serendipity (noun) Finding something good without looking for it.

I know my love is good Princess Khumalo,96

I know my love is good. It’s warm. warm enough to melt icebox walls, then creep into the cracks of your cold heart honey, the fire it could make inside, heat as sweet as sunshine. I know my love is good. It’s beautiful. beautiful enough to carve smiles onto stone faces, having laughs fall out of the edges. honey, the breathtaking befuddlement it could show you. a loss of yourself in elation. I know my love is good. It’s powerful. powerful enough to conquer the senses & make you wonder how you lost your inhibitions so fast. honey, it’s the yearning of few & given to even fewer. one in a million type stuff. 24

I know my love is good. It’s unique. unique enough to take you to a land filled with feelings of cotton & tastes of candy floss, tinted with the bitterness of pain, lies & deception shown by those i once held dear to me. honey, the strength I could show you, sweet& sour surprise. I know my love is good. I know my love is warm. I know my love is beautiful. I know my love is powerful. I know my love is unique. I know my love is just … It’s just … good.

White lies/lines Lerato Masubelele, 97

“I’m sorry for messing up,” he said. “It’s whatever,” she said. This all began with ‘I love you’ a white lie according to him. A relationship turned sour is what they were. This all started a few months back when these two met through friends, the first glimpse of each other and hell had no fury. Opposites attract but not these two, they were both fucked up and unsaved. Andrew and Tamia were lovers torn apart by lies, deceit and lust. They were a storm in summer. “Look, I just want to see your body talk with that lust that’s shining through your eyes, this might be lust talking but trust me it’s from the bottom of my heart where all my demons reside,” he said. “Tell your lust demons to control themselves or else they’re not going to possess this body anytime soon,” she said. “You want cocaine for breakfast?” he said. “I’m not into that but I heard those white lines mess you up really bad,” she said “I just want to numb the pain,” he said. They stared into each other eyes and for the first time they 26

both felt sane. The high was nice while it lasted. They lost all faith during their teenage years, God had failed them, or so they said. He came from a wealthy family. He barely saw his parents when he was young, because they were always working in the ruins just to ruin his life but they never knew that. He had everything he wanted except affection; he wanted it so badly from his parents. All the money they gave him he spent on drugs, all sorts of drugs. Just to numb the pain for a short while. He had no passion for life and that’s why demons manifested in him. Declared insane by a few people, his sanity relied on the lust that was in him, no love found. She was a normal girl from an average family. Influenced easily, her future didn’t look bright. Her heart was big enough to put all the broken hearts inside and still have a smile after that. She was heaven sent in more ways than one, but she lost her innocence a while back. She didn’t regret it. Regret was depression’s friend and she was enemies with both of them. She lived life to the fullest and she didn’t want to regret regretting. “I might be lying but I think I love you,” he said. “It’s okay I don’t believe you anyway,” she said. “I’m just glad I found someone who can take my crap, not many are willing to stay even though I fuck up most of the time, I’m really grateful that I have you,” he said. 27

“Look, if it wasn’t your eyes I wouldn’t be tolerating your nasty ass, honestly I’m tired of the crap you do but my heart belongs to you and I told you that I’m not going to give up on you. I think, I think I might have found a small part of me in you,” she said. “Thank you for not giving up on me, I’ll forever treasure you in me and thank God for my eyes, my sanity,” he said. “There are times when you need someone, there will be times when you fly the skies to find that one, your time will soon come,” she said. “Cause they always be behind in the cut, always in the skies watching stars when they up, so don’t you confide into the evil and corrupt, this is urgent,” he said. “Tonight we’re serving serpents,” she said. Their toxic relationship became the moon and the stars to them. Without it the dark was dull and full of emptiness. Finally, their empty voids had been filled. Ages passed and they were still together. They were a match made in Heaven, found in Hell. Slowly but surely the honeymoon phase passed and the white lies started building up. Slowly but surely he was falling in love with her. He didn’t want that. Love was a dangerous thing, to a vacant heart. They had sex regularly but once they made love, it was 28

different. They both couldn’t get it over their heads; how beautiful it was. There was faith. For the first time they both felt God, in sin. For the first time in what felt like forever they were both fulfilled and there wasn’t any darkness in them. This felt weird, it felt great too. “Who the fuck said you can feel happy again,” their demons said. The night was empty again. “Look, I’m on the brink of falling apart. Please understand why I’m like this. I’m a mess,” she said. “I’ll always be here,” he lied. Their forever was finished. There she was, addicted to white lines all because of white lies. Her life was a mess. Every good thing turned bad and she couldn’t identify the good even if it was in front of her. There was hope, at least. “God, why is this happening to me,” she said. “My child, everything happens for a reason. You might not understand it now but in the future you’ll definitely understand why all of this is happening to you now,” God said. “God, promise to never leave me,” she said. “I will always be beside you, I’m always here. Whenever and wherever,” God said. “I love you God,” she said. 29

“I love you too my child,” God said. She cried herself to sleep that night. A few months later, peace finally came over her and she had a sense of happiness. God had demolished her demons and she never heard from Andrew ever again. She prayed for him. Her heart was healed. But she was missing a piece of herself. *note* In life, we might go through certain situations, we might not understand why they are happening to us and we might end up hating ourselves. The important thing is to pray for ourselves and pray for the healing of our souls and never forget that God is always by our side. Then we’ll find peace and love in our lives.

Love is beautiful too Lerato Masubelele, 97

It lurks on every corner Drowning every heart It requires bondage It requires care The cure to everything When two become one Please donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t ever let me go Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re the only thing worth living for Overcome your demons and live again Close your eyes and love with me

“The truth is that the more intimately you know someone, the more clearly you’ll see their flaws. That’s just the way it is. This is why marriages fail, why children are abandoned, why friendships don’t last. You might think you love someone until you see the way they act when they are out of money or under pressure or hungry. For goodness sake, love is something different. Love is choosing to serve someone and be with someone in spite of their filthy heart. Love is patient and kind, love is deliberate. Love is hard. Love is pain and sacrifice; it’s seeing the darkness in another person and defying the impulse to jump ship.” Melanie J. Williams

Weakness In Me: Part 2. His Pain Lerato Masubelele, 97

As tears came running down his cheeks, he hated life. Every single moment he cherished, he regretted. He was conceited. Every single thing, matter or not, mattered. He was concise and a conniving guy. His words spoke of heaven but meant for hell and his actions might make you look twice. He came from a past he wanted to forget. He never knew his parents well; all they did wassend him money and never gave him any affection. Earthâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s treasures never satisfied his soul. He never wanted the best for anyone not even himself. He made mistakes in the past which led to him losing his faith, whenever he closed his eyes he was haunted by her. That girl that broke his heart, that girl that took his soul, that girl that took his feel. He became a heartless bastard, breaking everything from virginities to hearts and even spirits. He belonged to the world. His spirits were diminished by her, that girl. He used to love her with all his heart, soul and being. They had been together for quite a long time until she cheated. With that happening, he lost himself. After a long while he changed for the better. He met his 33

girlfriend and thought his ‘happily ever after’ had started. He was wrong. That girl from the past came back. She wanted him again and she was willing to do anything to get him. She was in love with something bigger than lust; she was in love with him. She wasn’t the only one gunning for him. All his old ex’s seemed to have fallen in love with him, again. His smile had stolen a thousand souls and left them stranded in a desert of emotions and they were thirsty. He thought he was seeing things, but every broken soul he left came back, wanting more. The girls didn’t realize that he had changed and that he had a girlfriend, either way they didn’t care, they wanted him for their own pleasures. He couldn’t resist, he tried but he couldn’t. Sex was his weakness, his only desire. The pleasure of fornicating enticed his mind and satisfied his being. He didn’t care about the consequences and he wanted it, but he didn’t want it with others, he wanted it with his girlfriend. He gave in to the demons. He had to fix this. He felt bad. History was repeating itself. He had to stop it, in order to save his beloved girlfriend. His next action was going to determine his fate.

Love is like fire sometimes it will burn sometimes it will be beautiful all time it will keep you warm Lerato Masubelele

Love Selepe Motuba, 97

Spiralling and spinning, entering and existing, falling only to find yourself standing in pain. Love is a being. It is not an abstract feeling created within your anatomy. If anything, your anatomy is simply the reaction to apprehension of the presence of this divine being. Exquisite, absolute, divine. White love is all of this and more. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the purity, the virginity, the sheer ferocity of a love like this that exists between partners or lovers. Black love. Depth. Weight. Fulfilling. The intimate love shared amongst the platonic. Love is a being that serves as a creator, connector and gives reason to. To denounce love would be the cause of your very own demise.

It’s Love Lerato Masubelele, 97

She saw the universe in him and he didn’t even see the twinkle in her eye. The stars are paths for lovers to untangle, although there are many, there is only one for you. She knew that he was the one for her, everything about him was perfect – for her. To him, they were just buddies and he never even thought about what more they could be. You never really notice until you focus. “Hey, how you doing? I’m just checking up on you, checking if everything is cool with you, you know, ” she said. “Hi, I’m doing okay. There’s not much to complain about. I’m guessing everything is well with you?” he said. “NO! Everything is not okay; can you not see how much I love you? Open your eyes idiot, ” she thought to herself but she replied; “no, everything is well, there really isn’t much to talk about but yeah you have beautiful eyes, I mean, the sky is looking very nice today, it feels like a day to fall in love, don’t you think?”she said. “I don’t know much about love. I’ve got to go. Bye,” he said. “WHAT THE HELL, how are you not getting these hints, I love you is basically written on my forehead. WAIT, wait 37

for me,” she thought to herself, quietly while gazing out to the direction the boy went to. Nothing else mattered in that moment. Finally, she decided to blurt out her feelings. She was brave. If life was perfect everything in that moment would’ve gone her way. *note* When you are in love, everything is just heavenly. When you are in love you feel like you can take over the world. When you are in love nothing else matters. When you are in love everything else becomes a blur and your focus is on that one person. When you are in love everything is extraordinary. When you are in love, all of your fears are conquered and your inner desires are fulfilled. I cannot comprehend how you would hate to be in love. Love is so damn beautiful. Unfortunately, love has a bad side too. If you are too scared to follow your heart, it will get broken, if you are too scared to take risks with your heart, it will get broken. Love is all about taking risks, if you cannot dare with your heart, you will not get what you most desire. Like every other thing, you need to work at love. Love is not a bottomless pit filled with smiles and hearts, love is the ‘I’m sorry’ you will not receive. Love is a rainbow on a rainy day. It gives you hope and makes you feel whole. Love is everything.

How Good It Is Craig Phakathi

He laid there looking at her at full blast, her breasts, her skin, her birthmarks and curves. The best part about the sex was after the sex, when he stared at his forever for eternities – small eternities that he would keep inside his pocket, only to take them out when the rain was low and the draught of her absence has wilted and weakened his petals. He was her flower – she was his water. “How lucky I must be,” he thought. I am a drizzle, she is a hurricane, whose heavy thrusts left my sunny suburbia in pieces. They lay there, not saying a word. This was it; this was what death must have felt like, a quiet moment when all the elements align, when you feel whole, no ligaments left unlinked and no love left ungiven. They were children of the soil and the soul, of flesh – of flowers – of fragrant. This moment was a wooden shed and sleep was the bitch that was going to burn it down, for hours their eyes would not meet – their feet would not tuck. For many years sleep was a time of peace and relief but tonight Elle was afraid, heart beating, sweaty palms – 39

she worried sleep would ruin this moment and she would wake up with him no longer there. On to the next one. He was a soldier after all, a soldier of the word yes, but a soldier nonethe-less. This writer brother, he was her everything and he had left her before, to kill men of other races all in the holy word of peace and poetry. She wrestled her mind, but her lids fell heavy and sleep followed. She dreamt that night, of a warless world – where her love was not gone, there, in their bed – the after sex ritual when they made love with their eyes. I didn’t want to leave, but I have duties, to protect you and my people, I love you my queen – Homme (pronounced ho-mie) He lathered his DNA and sealed the envelope; kissed her cheek and slithered slowly out of bed. “My hurricane of a woman, my melody of a woman – if only real music was so good,” he thought, adorning her for the last time. “BUZZ! BUZZ!” The alarm belted its body-cringing symphony, it was incredible how a sound could bring forth a powerful human emotion such as anger, well usually, but today it brought possibility. Elle stretched her arm awaiting her finger tips to embrace the chest of her soldier. Her arm never reached the chest, it never found the heartbeat. He had left, again. She found the letter, and after minutes of analysing it, washed some of the ink away with her tears. 40

06:19 am: Time for work. She first thought a teacher’s work is never done. How she loved her students. One of them, the curious girl with the two white-ribbon ponytails, approached her table one day with a vital question coursing her eight year old mind. She stopped at the table and entered the conversation with a brief smile to let the teacher know she was here peacefully. “Yes, Briana,” Elle began. “Miss Taylor, my father said last night over dinner; that the most important people in the world make things. Scientists like him, make cures to illnesses, factory workers make products and engineers make planes and cars. I think that you are important, but what do you make Miss Taylor?” Brianna asked – what a bright young thing she was. “Well honey, (I hated when grown men called grown women honey because frankly, grown women were not honey, we were not sweet like it was, welcoming like it was, golden like it was. Our fields had beenploughed many a time, seeds had been planted, unholy words had escaped our mouths – grown women where sugar cane, the lower you go the sweeter it becomes, never like honey though – honey wore short skirts and never had a care in the world, honey was a little girl not a grown woman,)teachers, like scientists and engineers, do make something, ”Miss Taylor said, with Brianna’s eyes widening with mental illumination. Teachers 41

make the most important thing, something that if not made, we would not have scientists or engineers. Brianna was getting aggravated, “Stop teasing, and tell me, what do teachers make?”An impatient Brianna asked still very politely with a pinch of sass. “Teachers make a difference; we make you curious, longing for more knowledge way after the bell has rung, teachers make you hungry for answers,” Miss Taylor said, what beautiful music this was for young Brianna. “I want to be a teacher when I grow up,” she said with her crooked smile. Elle was in the shower washing away the scent of her soldier, thinking about her children at school when she realised it was Saturday, her stomach turned causing her to run out the shower and vomit her dinner in the toilet nearby. She loathed Saturdays – but not this much, what was wrong with her. She covered herself with a towel and went to her bedroom. As she was moisturising her body, she got to her belly and an adolescent thought escaped her as she motioned her hand round her womb. I couldn’t be, maybe…. She blushed when she thought about it, a child of her own, her own curious Brianna white-ribbon ponytailed princess, calling her honey throughout summer. She would graduate to my love at 15 years old and later to fellow woman 42

when the time had come. Then she thought of the subway. Elle was coming home from work, it was late and she ran to the subway violently shoulder nudging a few people, not having enough time to say sorry and explain herself. A girl just last week was raped on the corner of Do The Right Thing Lane and Spike Lee Street, she had been coming home from work (on an afternoon like this) when a couple of no-good brothers approached her. They grabbed her bag, tugged her pelvis as she tried to run away, ripped her $200 dress (A gift from her mother) and entered her ‘queendom’ with impeccable force. Proclaiming that ‘this bitch be tight.’ while they took turns giving her their all, they were men and they had to prove it. When they were done with her they abandoned her bloody garden on the corner of Do The Right Thing Lane and Spike Lee Street – this girl was only eighteen. Elle made it to the train with moments to spare; she caught her breath and took a seat next to a little boy heading home from school in the city. While in the train, Elle saw a light skinned brother staring at her, stealing a little piece of her beauty with every glimpse he took. She was beautiful, even her white science teacher Mr Carlson had told her at sixteen years old, “You’re quite beautiful, for a black girl.” I guess it was really a compliment coming from a 60 year old man who was just a boy during one of the most racists times in 43

American history, when brothers where called niggas and not in rap songs, in real life, with the harshest meaning of the word too. It was not slavery but niggas were dying. The light skinned brother took another glance, a longer glance, up then down, looked at her legs and her blouse covered breasts. He looked at her lips and her thighs, he tried to enter her eyes but she wouldn’t let him. When the train came to her stop, she had to get out but had to pass the man as he stood near the only exit. As she walked out the door, the man danced his hand on her ass, ever so slightly that no one noticed, but she felt it – she was weakened by this touch. When she got home she burst into tears, she had been raped by this man – he raped her and left no evidence to prove it. Womb, Be Still. She muttered while still caressing it. She made breakfast, exercised and took to the mirror to tame the nappy beast of her afro blackness – thinking about Homme and where he was right now. He had told her that he was not like the other writers, that he was a revolutionist, he had travelled with Martin Luther King Jr., wrote him stories. He never was for that fag shit but Martin, he was the only brother he ever loved. He had spoken in Philly, Detroit and Boston too, recited poems that shook his crowds, “We are not American, we talk like them, we walk like them and we don their surnames like them, Johnson you are not Johnson, 44

Freeman you are not Freeman, your name is African, something beautiful like Adwubi (of the Akan people) or Nonina (of the Xhosa people) we are not Americans, this is not our home.” He always told her while in bed writing his poems and stories, “I feel like its 1978 all over again, Malcolm is dead, Martin is dead, Biko is dead, Nelson is in prison; it is my time now.” How could he raise a child like this, he was a soldier and there was a war out there. There was a war in South Africa – there was a war in Philly – there was a war in Detroit – there was a war in every black household – there was a war in her hair – hell, there was a war at the corner of Do The Right Thing Lane and Spike Lee Street where young girls, honeys were getting raped and left for dead. How could anyone raise a child like this, womb – please be still. She had spent a while in the bathroom and came out with a pregnancy test stick she had found in her bedroom drawer near the birth control pills and the condoms she obviously didn’t use last night. She put the stick on the coffee table, not seeing the results. She decided to do her spring cleaning in the middle of Autumn, raiding the couch to find sweet treasures like her lost pearl earring (A gift from her mother), she watched television even though there was nothing on, she even read a book 45

that she had read a million times, teasing herself, but when all was done, all the dishes washed, pillows fluffed and floors mopped, she proceeded to her coffee table with her hands smelling of onions; oh how they always smelt of onions as if she sold them at the street corner. She then exposed the stick to her eyes, let’s just say she was a hive, and inside her womb were millions of worker bees making sweet honey. Whether it was white-ribbon two pony-tail girl honey or toy-car-driving shaven head golden smile boy honey, any sweetness would satisfy her. Homme. Where are you? Weeks passed, weeks that turned to months – six of them to be exact. He never showed, he didn’t know about the child so he had no reason to leave her, and why would he leave her. It was a Saturday, autumn had passed and Mother Nature was peacocking to the world with beautiful hibiscus growing as far as the eye could see when a knock came to the door. If that knock had come three months ago, she would have thought it was him – she had moved on now, he would return when his work was done – but there was war, there was always war. A brother named Samuel stood at the door, her friend since she was eighteen; he was a speaker who had joined Homme on their quest for black freedom. “Allah!” (Samuel was a Five Percenter, he was his own 46

god), Elle proclaimed in excitement giving him a hug, he was the first man who ever truly loved her and he was her first. “You’re pregnant,” he said with an almost dead tone. A block of marble fell upon the heavy news he already carried.“Sister, how beautiful you look,” he followed. “What’s wrong Allah, where’s Homme?”She asked, her tone now as serious as his was. “May I come in?” Sam asked; Elle moved away from the door as he entered and closed the door behind him. He moved to the sofa and sat with her. “Base A in Boston was bombed six months ago,” he began, “I was at home with my mother when I heard the news, Homme was leading the troop there, I’m sorry Sister,” he said and began to weep. HOW COULD GOD DO THIS TO HER, HOW COULD HE DO THIS TO HER BABY – HIS BABY. She thought; broken. “I assure you Sister, we will find them and we kill him, we will!” Elle interrupted Samuel before he could finish. “No, I do not want war Brother, not anymore. I having a child, I want summer with her to never end. I want the strawberry ice cream flavoured hot summer days to stretch to the crimson sunset. Revenge won’t bring him back but love will mould this child, love will heal this child, fill the space in her soul that her father would have occupied. Thank you for coming, hopefully for the first time since he’s 47

been gone Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll have a night of sleep,â&#x20AC;? Elle said. Night had indeed come and she rested on her bed with tears dried out. Caressing her womb and clutching her breast thinking of the days she shared with him, the sweaty nights she laid with him and the moments she prayed with him and for him too. Then she felt a kick in her belly, she then thought of the love she had for this child, how good it is.

“When you start to know someone, all their physical characteristics start to disappear. You begin to dwell in their energy, recognize the scent of their skin. You see only the essence of the person, not the shell. That’s why you can’t fall in love with beauty. You can lust after it, be infatuated by it, and want to own it. You can love it with your eyes and your body, but not your heart. And that’s why, when you really connect with a person’s inner self, any physical imperfections disappear, and become irrelevant.” Lisa Unger

Runaway Lerato Masubelele, 97

Every time I light up a cigarette it has this scent. This scent reminds me of you, this choking, and bitter, lustful scent. I love it. Remember how we used to talk about how bad we were for each other? We still are. You had that thing, that thing that would make a crack addict smile or a smoker breath. You were that breathe of air I needed. Now, I keep drowning in my desires of wanting you. You were that very thing I loved and loathed at the same time, that very haze that left my soul in the dark. Can you see how bitter I am? Every time we spoke was magic and you left me pondering about you, who were you at that very moment, and who are you? I don’t regret almost loving you; I just regret not taking the opportunity to love you right. Tell me what I’m feeling is wrong, tell me this will be all right, tell me you still almost love me too, tell me you love my smile, tell me you still got it for me. I’m sorry for not being fair to myself, I’m sorry for letting love down, I’m sorry for everything that should’ve been but couldn’t have been. I still want to get lost in your eyes. See, that was my paradise that was my heaven, which was my peace. If I’m not 50

drowning myself drunk, in love music, then I’m getting high off of you, off that aura you perceived to have. I don’t know what it is about you but all I know is that I’m always going to be adamant in this progress of healing. I think I still might want you. Sorry for getting attached, I hate this part too. You’ll never ever get to read all the poems I’ve written about you. You are the sky and you’ll always be the sky. Sad how I’ll never get to stare at the stars the way I used to, they were always my best reflection. Hopefully I’ll shine with them one day and you’ll finally notice me. Look, I’m sorry for not fucking things up when I could have, who knew I’d fall this deep. I’ve attempted several times to get you out of my mind, but sadly you will always be there. I don’t care what other people say. I still almost love you anyway. But I’m running away from this. Running away from the demons; running away from the sleepless nights, running away from your smile, running away from you. I guess I almost love you enough to let go. I hope your love is sought after. And I hope you will allow me to run away in peace.

Weakness In Me: Part 3. Her Hell Lerato Masubelele, 97

Earth was hell and it was home. She was an angel in hell, the furnace of people’s flakiness burnt her faith. Her beauty was her pain and she cut through the day, through the hell, through the feelings, through the hurt. She loved but she always lost, lost in the distant space of hate and lust. Always used for the pleasure of others, affection never received. A gullible spirit she was when she drowned in spirits of fear and anxiety – her only escape – substances. She has been taken advantage of several times and she was tired of it all. All she wanted was love, and sometimes she loathed it because her wanting it so bad caused all this hate. Her forsaken heart was only beating for her survival. Everything and everyone was abhorrent towards her until she found her boyfriend. He was suicidal blues at the fountain of youth. He was coffee in the middle of the night. He was cocaine to the blood stream, easy to remember – hard to forget. He saved her from her demons. She was summertime madness to morning rush. Together bliss was their nature, happiness was their foundation and love was the hint of 52

insanity. Even Romeo and Juliet sighed some jealousy to their love. Their affection healed a thousand hearts and their smiles saved a thousand souls. But. Smiles covert their lies and if you looked deep enough into their eyes you’d find how damaged both their souls were. They couldn’t comprehend what their souls were telling them. They were always lost in each other’s eyes; even they couldn’t tell what was truly going on. Something came upon them. This something did a lot of damage. The damage was unfathomable. This, this, this, thing was disturbing, this, this, this thing was disgusting. They were dithery about this, this, this thing.

Naked Kamogelo Mopai, 93

I need you to Strip Me completely naked. I’m not talking about baring particles of my skin for your arousal. I mean opening my soul, So that you can roam in it for hours, Instead of the boys who feel they’re entitled to my body after knowing my favouritecolour. I want you to expose my spirit… I’d like to see the colours of my spirit in full view. I want you to feel and hold an intangible part of me. Expose the possible to the impossible. You know, I want us to feel something entirely different.

You need to get lost in me so deep that you begin to see forever. And upon your return, Tell me every time you experience déjà vu whenever I’m with you.

Traces Of My Heart Lerato Masubelele, 97

“I grabbed her by the throat but I didn’t choke her. Just kissed her so deep she forgot whose air she was breathing” malanda j (@overlyexclusive)

Unruly Justice Lerato Masubelele, 97

My eyes need to stop being so damn watery and I need to stop being so darn emotional, I’m a guy for God’s sakes. Sometimes, I wonder why I’ve been given emotions, sure it’s to feel but feel what? There are times when I wish I could turn them off, you know, so I can break away from feeling. Feeling is like that cup of water you force yourself to take because it was said that without it you’ll die, sooner or later. It’s messed up how one little thing can just mess up your whole routine of not caring, at first you think “hey, I don’t care, at all” then time passes for a while and emotions start kicking in. Sometimes, feeling is unnecessary and stupid. One day or Once upon a time, however you want this thing to start, there was this guy, this guy was the charmer of all charmers until one spring day filled with a thunderstorm and a mishap, a very beautiful lady passed by. Now I’m sure if you were this guy and you were the charmer of all charmers, you’d approach this beautiful lady and see if you can get your dirty hand in her pants, he succeeded but unfortunately for him he got his hand stuck and sanitized. This unruly girl ruled his forever and ever. Now the 58

charmer, being a charmer decided to try and replace the sky. He searched in places of ungodliness, he searched in the most scarcest places one would never find and he still couldn’t replace the sky. He decided that he’d hide in his shadow until he finally got over the sky he couldn’t replace. Once he did that, this charmer guy was never the same. Now he was filled with dark days and sad nights forever, lesson from this, don’t ever, ever, ever fall in love with a person who isn’t willing to do the same.

Proverbs 31 woman Lerato Masubelele, 97

A capable wife is far more worthy than treasure She lives for the good of her family She works hard for her own She is independent but still dependent upon the Lord That is a woman you need in your life. She will stand by your side and honour her vows She caters for all, even the poor. She is generous by heart She is everything and more She is wise She is appreciated She is respected She is loving She is not shaken by mere earthquakes; instead she embraces the beauty in faults and the lessons in mistakes. She will stand with you through thick and thin, through sickness and health and through this miserable life. 60

Man, when you find a woman like this; treasure her with all you have. Appreciate her insecurities and love her through everything you will put her through.

Let me Katleho Ntseng, 97

Your beautiful face and innocent smile Your friendly hellos and comforting eyes They hide the pain, hurt that lie beneath, Your soul is a record player Let me flip the switch and move to you singing your sorrow, bob my head to the beat of your hurt, tap, snap and click my fingers to the melody of your feelings, let our hearts hit the high notes together so that when the track ends I have a deeper understanding Let me walk with you through this jungle of struggle , pulling you up when the quick-sands of despair catch your ankle , let me fight off all threats making it painstakingly clear to you that Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll never let anything hurt you Let me be the Clyde to your Bonnie Let me be the Clark Kent to your Lois Lane The hippie to you; blind and war righteous USA Spreading peace a love throughout your anatomy Let me be there for you. 62

Weakness In Me: Part 4. The Near Ending Lerato Masubelele, 97

A baby’s laugher could heal the world; his soul was broken when he heard his little girl cry. He had a child he didn’t know about. When he broke up with his ex he cut all ties with her, this was a year and six months ago, the child was 9 months old. Confusion was floating in the air, was this child his, was this child really his?! Emotion filled the sky as the baby calmed down. He picked up the baby and his smile was beyond the heavens and the universe. His own was beautiful, his eyes told the stars when to shine and the moon when to smile, he had his own, he had his own. There was an evil smirk on the ex’s face, the exgirlfriend thought she got to him with the baby but he had an idea that would change everyone’s life. She was in dismay. Her bleak eyes were watery and she was weary. She was in denial about this situation; she couldn’t believe this was happening. All her hopes of being with her boyfriend forever were crushed by a tear. She was certain that this was some kind of web of lies. Why was this happening now? Not even the devil was this ruthless. Why were the 63

heavens allowing this?! Was this some kind of joke?! He was still awfully pleased about this predicament. First he had to make sure that the child was his. The next day he went to the hospital and got a paternity testâ&#x20AC;Ś the child wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t his. His ex-girlfriend tried to trick and tried to use him for the second time but this time it didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t work. He was much smarter now than he was before this. She, the girlfriend, was pleased with this result. Now her and her boyfriend could be together, forever, or so she thought. Her paradise was a bit further off then she thought. Her days became mellow and her prince charming became memoirs of past frowns. Everything was almost perfect, almost.

“I never call you my bitch or even my boo. There is so much in a name, and so much more in you” Common, The Light

Tangerine Lerato Masubelele, 97

It’s that smile that keeps me lingering Those lips that kept me wondering Lioness you have crossed my heart That stare I’ll always treasure Stars embedded in your eyes Embodying love in the way you move Empathy, that’s more than telepathy Can I stare one more time? Entwine your feelings with me I hope this is not a disturbing envisage If your love crosses my oath I will gladly be yours forever Tangerine, you are the girl of my dreams

Just the Same Leago Mamabolo, 98

Nailing myself deeper into you. This can’t be safe: thinking attachment will enclose your crevices Kiss me slowly so I won’t forget. Just this once I can’t help but wonder if I’m just a muse. Your latest piece Empty thrill and fuse On a park bench At the end of your cigarette butt. I can’t help but wonder if I’m just another curve. Another hair. Did you love them just the same; like little girls love sprinklers and buttercup summers or am I really the first you’ve loved differently? Don’t soothe me with a dirty lip bite and a venomous lie. Do you love me before conspiracies, guns and drugs? Profoundly

Do you love me before my words? Did you carry them just the same when you turned the stars off and deleted the moon to gain my trust in the dark? Do you come Leave Stay Or go All just the same Or Am I the only one? Does it pierce just the same when they tell you they love you like it pierces me? Tell me Do you have all the answers? I don’t know them: Your past endeavours and fast lovers but entrenous; between me, you and our endearments your fear is thrown back at me like a reflection. It draws me in. It drew me in when you told me you didn’t want to be replaced. You didn’t tell me it was fear. You told 68

me it was love but I can’t help but wonder, is this how fast you go? Or what slow lovers we may be? Because if we’re slow eye may not be just the same like those fast lovers and past endeavours. If we’re slow; I’ll touch your affection beyond lust and we’ll just be us. So tell me Am I just the same?

Breaking Away Nonkuleko Lusenge, 93 - 96

I’m breaking away, silently. I thought you ought to know. I’m cutting myself loose from you It’s the only way I can save my soul. I must grow, I must go. no. I’m not sorry – or worried about life without you I’m better within, without you. no, no. I’m not running, I’m setting me free. no, I’m not quitting. I’m breaking away from all of you, silently. so I may be with all of me, loudly.

Flowers Reneilwe Masekoameng, 97

Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll decorate my soul In hopes that you forget her And find your way back to me You were tired of seeing the same aloes, the same vines And she was a sunflower, or tulip, or something similar With her came colour, and spark, and life With her came everything new that you felt my plantations did not consist of So now, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll decorate my soul In hopes that you forget about her tulips And come home to the aloes And maybe new sunflowers Because to me, the flowers of this love seem everlasting And the day they die, I will no longer anticipate your return I will know my heart is no longer your home

Devour me Lerato Masubelele, 97

Swallow all of me, show me life. That one step that changed everything, you don’t think I’m lying right? Can we watch those waterfalls wander into spaces they’ve never been in, premeditated journeys into the dark – lust, I mean. Hello, my lover. I’ve cum again into the heaven in you. You know, staring at me won’t make me love me. Don’t you just know that you’re just here to help me fulfil my desires? Your smile is the only reason I’m with you. Devour me, you’re so beautiful. I still remember the day the sun didn’t set, stuck in conversation with you. I was lost in translation trying to figure you out. Damn you for being so complicated. Can you not say I love you already? That might rest my ego, but it’s never too late to wake up and realize that you’re the one. The way I feel about you makes me want to tear the moon apart and give it to you in gifts of forgotten kisses and maybe your smile can decorate the sky, but no, I wouldn’t want anyone falling in love with it the way I did. Devour me, you’re so beautiful. Maybe I need to stop lying to myself; the stars didn’t shine as 72

bright as they do before I met you. Maybe its cause You are the sky and the sky is full of forgotten memories, disappointments and lost gazes, my dear. Please forgive my passion for falling in love with you. Devour me, you’re so beautiful. Remember how lonely our nights were because you didn’t want to come closer? I hope you regret it. You’ll never have me like the moon craves the sun. I did forgive you, for your sins, and I met your eyes for the last time that night I smiled at your mother. Give her a kiss for me. Weren’t you such a bitch for letting me go. Devour me, I’m so beautiful. You were the one angel I needed. I’m space staring into eternity, wondering when I’ll get there. You were the first light I saw and still the light that guides me, please stay with me forever. Your presence keeps me warm. Devour me, you’re so beautiful. I regret not watching the sunset that evening; hopefully it’s not my last. Did I ever tell you how beautiful you are? That connection that we had will always be felt. You’re like me to you. Ask me to describe how I met your eyes and I’ll drown in my sorrows. Devour me, you’re so beautiful. You felt like paradise, wait, you are paradise. I regret not ever valuing your smile, now I’m stuck in this corner, writing about it. Those endless sparks we ignited but could never extinguish, another forever maybe? Devour me, 73

you’re so beautiful. You are cocaine and I want to be your druggie so that you may never rehabilitate me. Feed me your energy. You’re my smile. Devour me, you’re so beautiful. Please don’t ever stare into my eyes.

“HAHA, you love me.” Homer Simpson to Marge Simpson

Over the years Kamogelo Mopai, 93

For me, it doesn’t make sense to still entertain the same bull from boys; I once did, when my chest was freshly stung by bees. I have learned that the holding of a hand means nothing, but two different fingerprints in really close proximity. I no longer fall for boys who selectively listen to the words that escape my mouth before I can even taste them… and after a few fights and lonely nights, the same words escaping their breath and echoing in my bad decisions. And if I could get any financial incentive for every ‘Penis Being’ on this earth that has sent me a crappy, cold but warm seemingly “I miss you” text, on every single social network I have been on, since I owned a phone, I would have accumulated enough funds to secure a three

course meal for every hungry child, in my mother land, on my most loneliest night. It is through my sisters, that I have learned that a happy bed doesn’t make up for a happy home. It’s crazy how the pursuit of one organ can completely shut down all other bodily functions… Before you know it; You cannot eat. You cannot breathe. You cannot sleep. You cannot think. And without these, You cannot be yourself.

And that girl you vowed to never be. You take every living fibre of her DNAâ&#x20AC;Ś You can no longer tell the two of you apart. and heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just happy, that it is a twisted form of a threesome.

Weakness In Me: Part 5. Indecisions Lerato Masubelele, 97

Look into the eyes of the lifeless, tell them you love them, and allow them to drain your soul, love at its weakest. The coldest winter dressed in fur, smiling with the enemy, indecency to the heart. Craving intimacy, attached to the emotions & the lustfulness sex on the moon, covering up with the stars, sexual climaxes to the universe, cumming on the face of the world, PDA. Stolen kisses and curves all for the road; reserving love with a hint of sanity.Faced with enemies of love; all hunting for the same thing, preserving. Convicted of smiling, burdens of the dead all on your shoulders; heavily waits. Chained up in all of your thoughts with past events residing in your present life; recreations of lies never told. After all the misery, lying deep in the depths of your secrets, hoping your memory was perishable. In those eyes lie distant measures that were almost taken to save a love life. Crushed a few souls, broke a few hearts, touched a lot of lips; myths solved with a gaze. Let grace graze your hearts and purify your soul and cleanse your eyes, with this thank you of forever. Hopes of remaining in your heart for eternity, hopefully the heavens will grant this wish and allow us to love with no measures. 79

My love daydreams Princess Khumalo

ask me what i want &i’ll tell you. i want love hymns of darkness. i want shivers from your touch. i want purple kisses in places never thought of. i want euphoric violence behind closed doors. i want soft kisses & hard knocks. i want undisturbed weeping for the greys of my past in one’s arms. i want hearts dancing on the ceiling. fuck it, i just want passionate, can’t-breathe-without-it type love with roses in our hands & demons in our souls. a love we’d soldier for. a love that brings inner peace. honey, i mean a radical movement within me type love. nothing routine. nothing publicly seen. but something felt by the mere breaths of our beings. cause ah, you’re no saint &I ain’t either. Buti feel together, we got this thing that could make a cold

one a believer. so just hold my hips & kiss my sugar lips. let our souls eclipse, my paradise.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;I loved you like a man loves a woman he never touches, only writes to, keeps little photographs of.â&#x20AC;? Charles Bukowski

Angel Lerato Masubelele, 97

Your smile manifested in my heart. Now it’s all I think about. I remember the first time I saw you, an angel in disguise, hiding behind those precious eyes. Your stare, felt like blessings falling upon me. Why am I falling in love. A stranger to the heart, a stranger to love. Can you kiss my wound after I fall for you? “You are a poem I’m trying to finish writing, with no conclusion, can we wander off into the streets of love and maybe get lost in lust. From the very first time I caught you smiling, my heart was satisfied. I wasn’t even sure if it was true, until I heard your laughter. You are the sweet taste of contentment after regret has been stomached. I’m sorry for acting this way, it’s just, it’s just that I can’t believe I saw an angel today,” he said, with a slight blush on his face. This felt like ecstasy with a touch of cocaine. Love numbs all types of pain. It is the sunrise in the morning, reassuring you about eternity, never leaving your side. “I’ve been meaning to tell you this. Lady you are beautiful and you might have stolen my heart, without you knowing it, please keep it,” he said, with a very noninnocent smirk on his face. 83

You are the stars in the sky, so radiant, it guides the dark. Protecting every inch of my soul, please devour it. You are all I can think about, with every blossoming flower, all I see is you. You are the sky, you are the moon, you are the stars, you are the flowers, you are nature, and you are beautiful. “Everything has a love story, the sun and the moon, the stars and the universe, the sky and nature. Beautiful lady, I want us to create our own. Skinny love, hanging on the strings of happiness and charming smiles,” he said, with a sparkle in his eyes. Love at first sight is that stare of wonder and amazement, love at first sight leaves your thoughts hanging and your desires sulking, love at first sight leaves you in awe and mesmerized. Love at first sight leaves your smile hanging. I wish I could find enough courage to let love take its course, but the sun runs away from the moon and because of that, I’ll never, ever, steal a kiss again. You are the sunrise that brings joy in the morning. I’d try and stare at you but I’m afraid of getting lost. I think I might have a crush on you. “Hi,” she said. “Hey,” he said. “Look, I could see from a distance that you need someone to talk to and I also happen to need some closure, so what’s your name, Mr Mysterious?” 84

“I’m Thato, and yes it’s weird that a guy is named that, but you’ll get used to it, and what’s your name Mrs?” he said. “I’m Tyra, I know weird name for a black girl huh?” she said. “Sorry for being so lonely looking, I just don’t like approaching people, you know. I like my lonely,” he said. “Your aura is very attractive; I just had to say hi,” she said. “Do I really seem interesting; or were you paid to do this? I can pay you double of whatever you were paid, just so you can stay a bit longer.” he said. “Haha, no. I wasn’t paid or anything, I told you, your aura’s very attractive.” The sunset was held up a bit longer and dawn was frisking his way into the life of the sky. That grin the sky had was proof of how happiness surfaced. The moon just thought how beautiful life was for favouring love. The darkness was frisked away by beautiful music the woods created, breeze for the morning. “You make me smile,” she said. “I do? Well your smile make makes me happy.” he said. “There’s so much I want to tell you but I’m afraid that you won’t look at me the same after that,” she said. “Even in the dark I’d still look at you in the same way. Nothing will ever change the way I feel about you, not even 85

if the moon died out. You’d still be the star that guides my darkness,” he said. “What’s going to happen after I die out? Are you still going to be here?” She asked. For a moment there was silence between them. “I’d die out in the dark as well; I’ll never leave your side,” he said. She kissed him and the stare between them died out. In that moment, everything was perfect. It was noon. Love is the absence of hate. Every love story has its flaws, every flaw is different. No one can comprehend the love between two people. Love is anything you want it to be. “Did I tell you about the day I met an angel?” He asked. “No, you didn’t,” she said. “Well, one day I was wandering the streets minding my own business, and I sat down to relax for a while and absorb my surroundings and an angel approached me, I thought my eyes were deceiving my heart. But then I heard her laughter and there and then I had fallen in love. I was too afraid to tell her because rejection isn’t my friend, but one day I told her and look at that, she’s listening to my story,” he said. “This angel must be very lucky for meeting you, you are beautiful,” she said. 86

“At first, I couldn’t even digest the fact that I saw such a beautiful lady that day, but I’m glad she’s right here by my side,” he said. “I guess Heaven heard both their cries for happiness,” she said. When everything in the universe is balanced there is peace, love and happiness. You never really know someone. “What’s your biggest fear?” He asked. “I’d be lying if I said it was never being loved, it’s not being able to love. Life is love, without being able to love I’d be dead,” she said. “What’s yours?” She asked. “Mine is getting addicted,” he said. “And why is that?” She asked. “Once something is in my system, I always want it, whatever it may be,” he said. He was once addicted to breaking hearts, this obsession led him astray and because of this; he had thrown away a diamond for a stone. Depression had him scraping the floor for love. He did regret his past. He got a drive from breaking hearts; he fed on the broken hearts like a cocaine addict getting his fix he was so desperate for. But, this was the past and he preferred it there. She didn’t care about it, she was his broken fixer. All that 87

mattered was them being together and being happy. Love is a cult; it’s looked at with confusion and wonder. Their differences brought them together. She was 19 and he was 16. 3 years of misery set them apart, but nothing would get in the way of them being together. “Although you’re much younger than I am, there is something about you that is reassuring. I still can’t believe you’re 16.” “I am not my age, I may be born in a certain year but I am not my age.” “How am I supposed to explain the fact that I’m in love with someone who’s old enough to be my younger brother?” “You don’t. Let people wonder, let them stare in amazement, it’s not their business anyway.” “Well, I don’t care about what people say anyway, I am yours and you are mine and that’s all that matters.” “Yes, baby.” Love is different, it does not conform to the standards of life, and love is everlasting. It will always be there, no matter what. There are certain things we are not meant to understand, like affection between two people, it’s between them and we should learn to leave it. When we force understanding of a situation we end up not understanding it even more. We should just allow things to happen, without precautions. 88

“Life has a way of forcing us to calm down.” “It sure does, it’s like when there’s lightening but no thunder.” “Yea and we’re stuck looking at the lightening expecting the thunder; but nothing. The universe works in funny ways, next thing you’re on top of the world, the next you’re dust.” “Everything has a will and a way, if your heart truly wants something; the universe will work it’s best just to get you your desires. We make this mistake of giving up on passions too early and later on, when we’re miserable, we finally realize that there was a will and a way and that makes you more miserable. That’s why it’s best to live life to the fullest; you’ll never know what will happen.” Being scared of life is like being scared of the wind. Thato stared into Tyra’s eyes and in that moment, he found himself and pieces he thought he had broken forever. At that very moment, he felt blessed, he felt as if he should do something extraordinary for Tyra, just as a token of appreciation to show how much she means to him. He devised a plan. He was devoted to her like the clouds are devoted to the sky. Once you find that one person that makes everything feel right, you start to feel like heaven, because everything makes sense, and you start to think that this person was heaven sent 89

and he’s bound to be your god. Love is a great feeling. Loneliness is depression’s friend. Fight the feeling. Tyra was broken. There is nothing wrong with being broken. Everyone is broken somehow. Some others just know how to hide their brokenness. In the end, everyone will be fixed. We have a lot of time to be patient, use that time and wait. Fixing does not come easily, it’s a constant fight. There were dark nights and endless fights. She was a warrior, deep inside, but she knew that this plight wasn’t going to last forever. Her angel days were new to her. She, like everyone else, was scared of her past returning. Once you see the light it’s hard imagining the dark. Thato and Tyra wanted to live life happily ever after, but sometimes life happens. Nobody knows their story. They both passed away on separate occasions. He was finally in heaven with his Angel.

Dear You Fikile Khuzwayo, 96

This letter contains words I’ve wanted to say but never got the chance to. You came into my life and for that I’m eternally grateful, but yet I’m equally hateful that you took my heart and stamped on it a million times like common men stomping on concrete pavements, like athletes running a marathon, you still carried on… The more you told me you love me I actually believed you. I gave you my all… I… actually you… you,made me forget my values and beliefs, you made me believe that indeed love is not only a dream, but it exists Dear you… As I write this letter I shed a tear of pity. Pity that you fooled me into being naive Pity that I listened to every secret you ever told me, and yes I know this might seem cruel but you have to serve the consequences for making me fool. 91

I’m sorry. No, I’m sorry for the honesty. I’m sorry I gave you my heart but question is why am I apologizing? You should be sorry. But please spare me of your ridiculous apologies. This letter is not to try win you back or get your sympathy but to make you open your eyes and realise that you lost a good guy, you lost me. How many guys only used you? How many guys took your body as a mat to rub off the dirt they had on their shoes? Dear you I’m leaving you to pick up all the pieces, the same pieces I helped you glue back together. I love you. Yes, you. I really do, but this letter seems to be in conflict with what I really feel inside.

You sent me into war with nothing but a stick to defend myself Now, I stand hurt. Love is blind, that is no lie. To you, With love.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;What should I say When I want to kiss The side of your neck And leave it at that? When I want to feel the heat Of my own breath bounce back And warm my lips after I Strategically place them On my favourite places Of your skin I want to leave goosebumps Everywhere I have not yet Kissed and spend the night Trying to read them Like Brailleâ&#x20AC;? Tyler Knott Gregson

Her Lerato Masubelele, 97

And there she was, standing in the midst of the souls she snatched. She had changed. She was everything. She was beautiful, funny, devious, and that smile was the reason he couldn’t stop staring. It was like something he had never seen before. She was a clear night sky on a summer night, and he was the breeze, looking for a way; but lost. He decided to stay for a while. He admired the beauty that the night gave away, it was sacred, and it was that last pull of a cigarette you didn’t want to finish. The bright figure in the centre, were her eyes, you could stare for hours and you wouldn’t have realized. This wasn’t a love story, this was a story of admiration and how sometimes, eyes could leave you demented and how nothing in the world can prepare you for that moment. It all began on a normal day, no, not a sunny day, an overcast day with drizzle seeping from the cloud’s eyes. He decided to leave his phone at home and just enjoy the fresh sounds of nature. He left with his jacket, half worn, like he had a meeting somewhere.But how he looked that day didn’t matter at all. He liked staring at things, at people; 95

he saw beauty in the most unseen things in nature and life. He stood by the market and embraced the environment around him. The day was filled with beautiful beings all around him. Poets, Speakers, Artists, Dancers, it seemed like it was a festival of some sort. The beautiful art around him made him aspire to create beauty too, but he had no talent, all he had was a desire for it. It was a desire like none other, that’s all he thought about. Through days and through nights he would put words together hoping for some beauty to arise from them. He didn’t give up. He had a spirit of a passionate fighter and that’s all that mattered. She was a lightning storm. You couldn’t help but stare, but she inflicted fear with every stare. Although she was a person filled with humility, she was always judged for being the lady that’s not lady like. But that didn’t matter. Wherever she entered, she entered with grace of a dove and lightened the place like the lightning she was. Her past actions weren’t those of a girl whose parents would be proud of, but she still embraced her past. It led her to whom she was now and for that; she was grateful. How their paths crossed weren’t the usual boy meets girl love story, no, they were stars in two different galaxies bound to collide. With their collision came the destruction of themselves, but the beauty it created was everlasting. 96

They knew each other, but never in hell did he think that she would become his gateway to heaven. They were the closest of friends and they loved each other dearly. One day the moist in the air dissipated and there was a dry taste, it was the sky. The sky was close to falling, and then suddenly it came down like a ton of bricks. There was a strong heavy wind and a lightning storm out of nowhere. He had finally realized that he was infatuated by her. He was infatuated by the girl that inflicted fear with her stare. He didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t fall to his knees, no, he praised the sky because he was the wind and she was the sky.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find youâ&#x20AC;? Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

Find Her Leshego Mothibi, 97

She is not anything you ever expected, a sweet girl that no one ever thought of neglecting. A skin tone, light with a soft texture. She is beautiful; her heart beat is almost equivalent to the rate at which your blood flows. She is special , the kind of girl you wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t hesitate to take home, her hair , a texture so rare that each moment you are with her you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t realize how much you stare. She is amazing; the one person who you know not only lives but aspires. And through every action is able to inspire. She is warm, kind and sets a fire in your mind. She is gorgeous, able to point out your perfections without outlining your imperfections. She is natural, hard-working and brings out the best in you, even makes you believe that there is an even better version of you. She makes the sky change colour, she is as pure as a flower and through each movement she makes the sky concur. She makes you want to endure every ounce of pain and suffering, remind you that she is the only one you adore. 99

She’s gentle and through the roughest days, with just one gaze, she makes the complex maze fade away. She has a way of making your grey days seem bright, and a way of making a dull conversation your favourite way of easing the pain; that you’re expected to bare. She has a unique smile, a smile that draws you closer and makes you realize just how much you care. She is a warrior the kind that makes you secretly admire yourself in the mirror. She is literally everything you’ve ever wanted. But there’s just one problem… You messed up. You messed up which is why she has decided to up and leave. You messed up and now she won’t turn back; you decided to destroy the beautiful architecture that the structure of her heart used to possess. You’ve created a mess and now she won’t settle for less. You made her feel as though she was worthless and now all you’re left with is distress. You are reminiscing about the smell of her turquoise dress, the one she wore on her birthday, the day you nearly proposed. The day you were sure that she would be yours forever. Your heart might just turn to stone because you are not sure if you’ll ever find her, but you are certainly sure that she was 100

like no other. She is a star because she turned you into what you are. She revoked your ambition. She was once a part of you and now sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s apart from you. So thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s one thing left to do, seek the one person who made you feel as though you belong, go after her, find her ,because none whatsoever can replace her.

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Untitled Lerato Masubelele, 97

It wasn’t the mystery or her baldness that made every single person wonder about her. It was how she spoke, walked and smiled. She wasn’t perfect, neither was her smile. Her walk wasn’t as glorious as a model’s. Her voice wasn’t perfectly pitched; nor was her accent American or European. It was the love in her eyes that made people wonder about her. How did she love that much, they wondered. She was as forgiving as the sky. No matter what harm you did, you would always see the sunshine in her smile. Her scars were fresh and her cries were loud but she still strolled through the day with hope for a better tomorrow. Her optimism kept her alive. The world’s negativity will crush you if you aren’t strong enough to see through this life. Love alone will not get you through this life. Sometimes, you need sadness to help you realize what certain situations mean, because certain things only reveal themselves when you’re at your worst. Like how she realized that love will only be reciprocated when it starts from the beginning. It’s not that she had bad luck with love; it’s that she didn’t know how to love a partner right, the love was there but 102

it was not given right. She either loved too much or loved too little, there was never a balance. Every centre requires some sort of balance or else things fall apart, when the centre cannot hold. She knew that she wasn’t too young for real love. Love has no age limit. It’s between a love and a love; there is no need to put boundaries on matters of the heart. She knew that, although it may be consuming, it is also joyful. The thing about love is, it has no rules, and it has no limitations. It is everything. The only downfall in love; was that with every lover, you left a piece of yourself. After love you can never come out whole again. It’s consuming and could also be selfdestructive. She was scared of hurting herself because of another. She always wondered how something so beautiful could be so damaging. There was one thing that her male counterparts couldn’t handle; she was a very sexual being. Her only addiction was sex. It was the reason why people wondered about her. In a world where being sexual is basically a taboo, she was defying the norm and that made her even more attractive. People weren’t attracted to her because of her looks, they were attracted to her because they saw things they feared, but wanted in her. The bitter, the unforgiving, the non103

lovers, they were all attracted to her because they saw a chance to overcome their fears in her. She wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t even the moon or sky. She was the burning sun. She gave life and she helped many, but slowly and surely she was going to die.

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“I couldn’t believe my eyes when the universe showed me you. It was as though I stepped out the confines of my comfort and into my very own soul.” Selepe Motuba

your piece forever Lerato Masubelele, 97

if the moon rises on the east and the sun stays suspended in the sky i know you will always be here for eternity has come forth to show its blazing eyes i’d be stuck in a space with you where the sun doesn’t reach, the moon doesn’t shine just us, forever the flowers grow because of your aura, your scent, your smile if the God’s come down to the earth you’d still be in my head this is your piece and it’s yours forever

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Untitled Thubelihle Nkutha, 93

We werenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t in love; it was just a lovely moment. Frozen in time it feels like the laps of confusion,between lust and love have given us the idea that infatuation is alright. That it may not have to be love,but if it feels like it is. Then it feels too easy to be just pleasing each other in every other way. We may never know what love is at our age. So let us make the most of the lovely moments we can have together. Tease me, please me, to a point of eradication of my ideas of what love is. Drain me empty from what seemed like forever. Then play Elle Varner in the background, refill my cup with every ounce of love left in you. Fill me to the brim, and lead me to the point of no return, which makes infatuation seem like a myth.

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â&#x20AC;&#x153;And perhaps The very fact The moon could never have the sun was the reason she loved him soâ&#x20AC;? (o.h)

Beautiful Minds Collide Rebone Mzizi, 94

As they cause the accidental scene of connections and forces of attractions between minds. Collisions happen in the absence of the physical beings because thoughts are too polite. Thoughts are too polite to the body setting it free to float To float on the ground as her soul collides Collides with her thoughts, her being, her life. Beautiful minds collide, as they share pennies of thoughts with each other See beneath her beautiful and test her intellectual being He married her thoughts and left her being, Kissed her words and touched her lips. He loved her soul, but hated her being. He was too caught in the mind,that he didn’t see the being Because to him, the term “Actions speak louder than words”. Had no meaning To him, the mind was the person, 109

the being was the image created. Beautiful minds collides Words are spoken, souls are taken Taken as in collided, Collided with his soul and her Soul Soul sisters and Soul brothers As beautiful minds collide.

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The Love Is The Name Naledi Sibisi, 92

The third rule was not to use his label in vain So, if he is love then love is the name Just take a step back and realize That this idea has been disguised By hiding pride and saying things right, Sweet ‘”Goodmornings”, even sweeter “goodnights.” PDA and baby’s and boo’s And “I need you and I love you too”s You take it lightly and break the law, You say you love me then search for more And you shall not use his name in vain ‘Cause if he is love then he can’t be pain And he will not hold you guiltless if you do Exodus chapter ten time two He said it was patient and he said it was kind Curiously I rushed to find It, buried within a uncomfortable truth That it was just a lesson waiting for you To learn how it’s supposed to be Unconditionally set aside for me 111

So now I begin to cherish delay And obey because this time portrays The criteria needed to converse with me Before I left another touch the key To my heart, carefully guarded by my father; by Love Who sits above and calls your bluff If you’re a counterfeit and a thief of peace I’ll know you weren’t designed for me

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Fire Nomonde Jele, 96

She knew she was fire. And when she kissed me and touched me, she knew exactly what she was doing. The fact that I am wind made everything worse because I couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t douse her flames when she set me alight. The truth is that I felt alive when she was burning inside of me. She needed to be extinguished. I would come up from behind, slide my hands under her shirt and squeeze her perfect breasts. My hands were made for her chest but unfortunately mine werenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t the only pair that had explored her territory. All I could do was calm her down when all became too heated. My breeze brought peace which is not what she needed. I lay awake in the depth of darkness as I remember how different it was to lay in bed with her skin brushing up against mine. How different it was to feel her green eyes watching me as I slept. How different it was when her mouth met my breasts and her fingers chartered the rest of me.

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Never had I met anyone who was so empty and broken. She barely used words to tell me of her hollowness and pain. Instead, she would scream it out loudly using her tongue. I tasted how shattered she was and every fist that had struck her. Lord knows I loved every ounce of her loneliness. Women in love know when to walk away and so we did. She needed water to heal and no gust of wind from me could save her. I continued to blow roofs off of homes and she continued to run ablaze. Ultimately, cocaine called out to her much louder than I ever did and she attracted a number of moths with her flames. Some of my days are spent searching for her around girls with wind-blown skirts. I know she feels me often. The truth is that her fire keeps me alive and sleeping would mean that she would cease to rage inside of me. I lay awake in the depth of darkness. I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want to die.

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“She is not 'my girl’ She belongs to herself. And I am blessed, for with all her freedom, she still comes back to me, moment-to-moment, day-by-day, and night-by-night. How much more can I be blessed?” Unknown

LILY Nonkululeko Lusenga, 96

On the water she sits. The pure-pure water. she sings songs of bliss, to the water, the pure-pure water. (sigh) I wonder what would happen if it were to turn black. Lily would you have enough heart as much as beauty to forgive the night? I mean, it’s not his fault he was born dark. Neither is it the day’s fault that it was born bright. Lily… I know you’re all, pearly & white, but the darkest shades give a deeper meaning to life.

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“I belong deeply to myself “ Warsan Shire, 34 Reasons Why We Failed At Love

Forgive my lips Rebone Mzizi, 94

Forgive my lips, for they find pleasure in unusual places Forgive my words, for they tend to run away from my tongue I mean, forgive me, I have no self-control. All I can think about is you and how I wish you knew You knew about me, how I know about you You dreamt about me, the same way that I look at you To me, you are perfect Even in black and white you are flawless I mean the pigment of your skin makes you a goddess How your smile is all so gorgeous. Forgive me, for I tend to get carried away sometimes But your eyes are the same as the sky Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re dark but yet they share so much light Your face so much like the stars So bright but yet without reach 118

Forgive me for I tend to look at the sun It hurts my eyes but I see a bit of you in there Your golden skin in the light The way that your being shines Forgive me for my mind, For these pennies of thoughts are only a dime to the soul.

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Love Tides Lerato Masubelele, 97

Temporary kisses that last forever, gravity bringing them closer and closer and then; tearing them apart once again. This is a love story between the sky and the sea and how they managed to keep their love afloat. Most would decry their love but, centuries passed whilst these two lovers kept their love hidden away from the tides. The creek would creep in, slowly and slowly their craziness became word and their tongues slept off with a slight tingle on their tip. Waiting to manifest in their eyes, the distance between them didn’t affect the chemistry they had. They were always faithful no matter the season or the change. They knew that they’d always see each other. They had spent their couple of forevers together since the beginning of time. With such manky influences, they were summertime bliss in the middle of winter, trying to stitch their almost-perfect-almost-insane relationship. The son et lumiére would entertain their pleasures and at night all glimmered in their eyesight and if anyone caught a glimpse of this, they too would fall madly in love. “You know I love you right?” he said.

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“Is the sun up right now?” she said. “You know you’re my summertime madness right?” he said. “Is it cold in winter?” she said. The night became old and the sunrise lit their eyes as moon settled on the far west. The horizons slanted with the goodbyes of yesterday, bringing a new day to their dawn and the morning breeze to their midst. The radiant surface of the sea was the skies kindness to her. They shared colours throughout the day. Blue in the afternoon, navy at night and if you caught them staring at each other; they’d both be orange. The calmness of the sea was whispers of sweet nothing to her ears, poems he had written in fear of losing her. Whenever they were together, they both shared a passion of giving life to the lifeless and wiping sorrows off faces. The kiss of passion saved many broken hearts and healed twice as many. We know this as rain, the sweet waters of Heaven we pray for, and they were angels in disguise, waiting for us to fall in love too, so that they could seal it with forever. Kisses are the glimpse into ones eternity with another, and they saw their forever with just a blink. Drizzle of thoughts floated around the sky and the sunshine gradually became blocked, you’ll need darkness 121

for such lust. Dust started to build down below, the limit of this practice was reached and so was their climax. Mazes of desires untangled in their actions. Wet mornings and cloudy evenings. This was the right time to make love by all means and show each other how much they really mean to one another. All of these explicit thoughts would result in thunder and lightning, not revealing any actions, just showcasing the capabilities of a love that’s right in Heaven too. (Heavy breathing) “You know, you’re the best I’ve ever had and probably ever will,” she said. “Don’t worry about me being the best; hopefully I’ll be your only one,” he said. “No dreams will be sold and no false hope shall be given, I strongly believe that you’re my love in the sky, literally,” she said. “If the skies came crashing down, I know I’ll be a tad bit closer to you and to insanity,” he said. “If that’s you’re only worry then your desires have been fulfilled, Sir,” she said. “Not the one of loving you eternally, not that yet,” he said. Love making was Gods greatest gift to the humans and the Earth too. All this beauty was the result of two souls intertwining in one desire. Two unlikely lovers in the midst 122

of eternity, with their smiles intact and their love in their hands. If this love was taboo, they’d start a cult with their love. Defying the odds of nature and being real. “Ever noticed how the moon is always staring at us, you’d swear he’s jealous of us,” he said. “We must be doing something right then,” she said. “You should blow him a kiss, just to show him that there’s hope for him too,” he said. She smiled and then blew the moon a kiss. “Maybe he’s a soldier of love don’t you think? Resisting and fighting the urge but being fooled by his defensive heart, maybe it was fooled too. You know heartbreak changes a person,” she said. “He probably is, you can see that he has a sly smile and if ever it attracts anyone, it’d be a devastating course, unless he falls in love too and changes his ways, then nothing stands in the way of purity,” he said. “Love is greater than, and if it’s found in the arms of someone, it can change lives and save souls,” she said. The sky would write love letters and send them as rain in the sunshine so no one would ever catch this sweet gesture and if she loved it, she’d come forth and kiss him, and maybe runaway for another forever and drought would occur, leaving bodies thirsty. Sometimes they’d get carried away 123

and forget about the duties they had to do. Sometimes love leaves you blinded and leaves you the victim. “I love you.” He whispered. “I know.” She whispered back. *Note* Love is the awkward stare, love is the smile back, love is that warm hug, love is the blood that flows through our veins, and love can be anything you want it to be. Love is different, love is yours, make it your own special thing because love is like no other. Love may come and go physically but deep inside, it’s there. If you ever feel broken, your fixer will come. Life’s twists and turns shape us all, and the secret to life is hope. With hope and love everything comes beautifully together in the end. Be patient, your turn to be in love is coming.

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â&#x20AC;&#x153;Love is patient and kind, it is not jealous or conceited or proud; love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs; love is not happy with evil, but it is happy with the truth. Love never gives up and its faith, hope and patience never fail.â&#x20AC;? 1 Corinthians 13: 4 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 7 Good News Bible