3 minute read
Lucky Girl Syndrome Getting Out of Your & Own Way
from Press Play
If you’ve scrolled through TikTok in the past year, you might have come across the term “Lucky Girl Syndrome.” Search this phrase and videos of girls sitting in their cars repeating the words “I’m so lucky” or “everything always works out for me” fill the screen. Lucky girl syndrome is hotly debated. Some people claim it changed their lives. Others critique the tendency to use manifestation to write off privilege as luck. It’s a tempting concept – who doesn’t want to be lucky? – but I would argue that this trend is poorly named. It has nothing to do with luck. The popularity and success of Lucky Girl Syndrome hinges less on the outcome of situations than it does on the mindset we approach those situations with.
College is a time of possibility; it’s also a time of pressure. Every choice narrows the road ahead. It used to be marketed as the time for self-discovery, but as admissions become more competitive and majors more requirement-heavy, it can seem like a career needs to be decided by the first day of classes. Fear of failure often drives these decisions. When someone asks an 8-year-old what they want to be when they grow up, they answer astronaut, ballet dancer, FBI agent, pro soccer player or movie star. These professions all take talent, but they also take luck. They’re risky.
Give it 10 years, and those answers change. They become safer, more attainable and more realistic. Of course, not everyone is an athlete talented enough to go pro or an actor good enough to become a movie star. But how often do we take ourselves out of the running before the race even starts? Stepping outside of our comfort zone is scary. If we subconsciously assume we’ll fail before we try something new, we sabotage ourselves. We might not even try. By taking the safe path over and over, we build our life with the things that are the least risky instead of the ones we want. Failure is inevitable– at least some of the time. When we think of ourselves as unlucky, taking those risks doesn’t seem worth it. Why try if we’ll just end up disappointed?
When we think of ourselves as lucky, taking a chance on something that seems out of reach is less intimidating. Overall, we focus less on the negative and more on our moments of success, kindness and gratitude. We approach life with the confidence to go for what we want. When I first tried this a few months ago, I found myself less anxious and plans seemed to fall into place. Things did just work out. Was this because I was suddenly a luckier person? Or was I just approaching life with fewer expectations and more confidence?
It’s the most common advice in the world, but hearing “be confident” is unhelpful, vague and harder than it sounds. Lucky Girl Syndrome gives people a path to that confidence. It changes how we think about our lives and ourselves, which, in turn, affects the way we act and the way we’re perceived. Insecurities get in the way of our best selves all the time. Being nervous when meeting someone new makes us more likely to say something awkward. Overthinking a shot makes someone more likely to miss it. Confidence frees up attention to focus on things outside of ourselves. Whether it’s a conversation or a soccer game, things go better when we’re not inhibited by self-consciousness. We’re more likely to get out of our own way and take the risk if we believe it will work out.
What we call it doesn’t matter. Call it Lucky Girl Syndrome or determination or a positive attitude. Call it confidence or being a go-getter or manifestation. The truth is, calling ourselves lucky won’t make us any luckier. Luck, by definition, is random. What it might do is change how we see the world, and how we see ourselves. It might make us shoot for something that scares us or give us the confidence to be honest about what we want. It might help us keep going when things get hard and trust that we’re where we need to be. It might make us appreciate the good things just a little more. And it might get us out of our heads long enough to get out of our own way.
