steps

steps step one, the man gets drunk. (what is it about me that men can’t handle unless they’re intoxicated?) step two, hold hands gingerly, bashfully, like we are in Sunday school. (arguably my favorite part.) step three, establish trust. (we don’t have to talk about it. you don’t have to say anything.) step four, get invited to his bed. (examine his bookshelf. “The Mind at Night” glares at you—it knows things we are still unwilling to admit.) step five, wonder what number you are. (two, i think? he is twenty-something, i think?) step six, say all the things you’ve wanted to while you still can. step six, remind him you care. step six, use a condom. (it’s my New Years resolution.) back to step two. we are holding hands. step seven, don’t talk about it. step eight, the night is immortalized in our silence.